You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. John, Welcome to the
Jesus Christ Show. Yes, Jesus, I was wondering, how do you
deal with infidelity? Here's someone someone cheated on you? Yes, sir?
How long? How long has it been found out? A week ago?
I don't know for sure how long it lasted. She tells me it was
a short term thing. We've been together for two years. I've asked to
be my wife, and now I don't know if I even love her.
Well, your emotions are going to tell you that you don't. But emotions
change. That's why subjective and objective truth should often be separated. A lot
of people get wrapped up in what they feel versus the truth of the situation.
If you love her and you experienced something with her and you want to
share that, you have to look at this as a as a huge red
flag. Did she explain to you as to why she had this affair?
It was what the guy that she knew before we got together. She says,
there's no feeling for him whatsoever. I know that she was abused repeatedly
as a child, and because of that, has incorrect associations with sex.
And acceptance, and I am gone frequently due to my job. And he
called she she put that she was at a weak moment, although I know
that sometimes she had to have called him as well. And I mean,
she's she swerves that she's sorry and not sorry she got caught, but sorry.
And right now we're in a situation of trying to decide if we want
to try to figure it out. Well, I think you're at a safe
place to make that distance now. It doesn't sound good. There's a very
cynical statement that says that men fake love to get sex and women fake sex
to get love. Very cynical and not true. However, it does point
out the differences that men and women experience sex differently, and in a case
like this, for her to say that she had sex but she didn't care
about him is a strange thing for a woman to say. That doesn't mean
that it doesn't exist. There are women that have had sex that don't really
care about the individual per se. But that's a strange sign for a woman
that there is a disconnect with her physical sexuality and her intellect and her emotion.
And that's that's a pretty good sign that the experiences that she's had before,
have set themselves up and are manifesting in a way where she is acting
out on them and you don't want to be a part of that. You
want to kind of separate yourself from that. And this is one of those
situations where I'd say a breakup is an order, and that not about judging
her or making her feel ugly, but maybe recommending that she gets some secondary
help, some counseling, some therapy, something where she can figure out why
she acted out in that way. If she's fearful, maybe she knows that
you're gonna ask her to marry you, or she's fearful of something. Whatever
it is, it's not a good sign. And my biggest fear, John,
is that you're gonna call me in a couple of years now married going
through the same thing with her. So I hope you heed my words.
It doesn't make her a bad person. It just means she's not ready.
There's a big difference between being single and being available, and she may be
single but not available under the circumstance, and keep that in mind that she
might not be a good match for you. And it sounds at this point
not a way to start the marriage. Every time I get somebody calling in
about a bad marriage situation, every single time, you can trace it back
to some knowledge prior of something that didn't sit right. Yet somebody pushed through
it just because of the feeling or the emotion of love. So count your
blessings, John, and that you found out now and thank God for that.
And don't judge her or make her feel ugly. It's not about that.
It's just something you don't want to participate in and move on. David,
Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hello Jesus. Hi, David,
I had a question I'm faith for you. Please recently last week I lost
my employer after twenty years. A couple of years before I was diagnosed with
an illness that had affected the job. And about a year before that,
I lost the marriage of eighteen years. That was totally unexpected. No boy,
And I'm trying to hold on to my faith, but I'm getting rattled
and I'm not seeing an end. I'm seeing darkness. And David, I've
always been as a very spiritual person, but it's getting or herder every day.
Well, I'm curious as to the statement you made about that you were
surprised about the loss of your marriage in what way. There was no infidelity,
there was no arguing. My wife of eighteen years decided she just didn't
want to be married anymore, and that was the only That's what she gave
you. She didn't say that it was dull, boring. There was no
life in the marriage. There was no connection, you know, because because
you know, no arguing sounds like a plus, but really isn't. I
mean, we argued in the marriage, and we we're always best friends,
and we always had a good marriage. We both always said we had a
good marriage. But just in a matter of months I had noticed a change
where it was she was very independent and trying to understand how we were and
how the last month had changed. Started the arguing did you marry very young?
No? Twenty four, twenty five young by today's standards, but not
terribly young, right? And how long were you married? Eighteen years?
Eighteen years? And she just was done? And what kind of lifestyle is
she living now? Do you have any contact with her? Yes, I
have two children, so we have some contact, not much at all,
you know, she's just out in Parian and having a good time. M
Nothing that I've ever been used to. Yeah, those things usually are are
quite synonymous with somebody who marries young. It happens both male female, but
mostly women kind of experience that. David, I'm gonna ask you to hold
on because I want to talk to you about faith when we return a little
bit more, and how it pertains to circumstances, and how it doesn't pertain
to circumstances we were chatting with, David. You're still there, David,
Hi, David, there, you are okay, excellent. Now, you
went through some trials, you lost your wife, to divorce, your job,
There's a lot of things coming at you. But your faith cannot stand
on circumstances. It just won't work. You can't, For instance, if
things are the way you say, there's no reason leave otherwise. But what
you're saying about your wife kind of falling out of love means that she kind
of built her house of love upon circumstances and woke up one day and said,
those circumstances have changed. I no longer love you. It's not the
way it works. Love is a decision. It's something you decide to do.
I know that's terribly unromantic by some standards, But that's the truth.
You decide to love somebody and to for better and for worse, for sickness
and health and all of these things. You make that oath before God.
She went against that and threw it out the window and said, no,
I want to party. You want to do what I want to do,
and I don't want to be bound to anything. Right, that's kind of
like what you'd be saying to me if you toss it in because times are
tough, Does that make sense and make a decision. Yeah, it's something
you decide based on. In scripture, it says and he was eleven to
one. Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence
of things not seen, And the word evidence there, interestingly enough, really
translate can be translated as proof or proving. So in this case, you're
you're looking forward to the possibilities of what's before you. Faith meaning firm persuasion.
In this particular case, this word, this magic word, shows up
some three hundred and seven times in the New Testament, the word faith.
So in your particular case, John David, rather, I want you to
focus in and have the heart of John and the love of John, and
be somebody who looks forward towards the things that haven't happened in your life yet,
the good things. But know that you can't circumstantially just look and say,
well things are bad now, therefore I've lost my faith. That's not
where faith is. It needs to stand on the things that you believe truly
in your heart. Michael, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hey Jesus,
I am Michael. I am well, how are you? I'm good?
What's going on? My father has always he's always on the Bible very
well, the concordance, the Jewish text, all aspects. Okay, growing
up, everything always ended up going to God, and I can never talk
to him as a real person or get real answers. For example, recently
I asked about buying a car, what kind of info you know? Can
you help me? And he says, we'll sit in and get the feel
and pray ask God about what the previous driver was like. So my question
is, does God have to be included in all aspects of life? Is
that the correct layer? Is it possible? Are you supposed to have a
half and half so you can have a real relationship here and enjoy life or
does it all have to be praising and living for God? Well both are
wrong actually because in a sense, because the half and half isn't going to
cut it. But I think as we were talking about the proper application of
scripture, I mean, if you want to oh, well, I mean
maybe God wants you to have a Honda, because in scripture it says they
were all in one accord. But good night, everybody dip your waddress.
So if you took scripture that literally, you might go, okay, well,
you know there it is right in scripture, God wants us to be
in a chord. Now, the car is inanimate. If you liked the
car and it suits your specific needs and it's safe, and it's an honest
transaction. God doesn't care any more than he cares whether you have vanilla versus
chocolate ice cream. He just cares that you have. You don't have too
much of it because then it becomes a problem. But inherently, there's nothing.
There's there are many times and this is where people get lost. Evil
is not a thing. It's the inner. It's a relationship. It's interaction
between morally neutral or good things. You know, you can have something.
Let's just make a fake thing, a shiny ball. And let's say the
shiny ball has value, and it's perfect in itself, and it's roundness and
shininess everything, and it's baldness. Everything has value. But it gets a
scrape. That's a privation. It's the absence of something that should be there,
which is as perfection as a ball, and now it's got a scrape
in it. That's like sin. Sin is the absence of the good in
a situation. So you look at every situation. You look buy a car,
you say one, is this reasonable for my finances? Is this a
reasonable vehicle for myself? For my family? Am I buying a sports car
when I need to sit in all of these things? And if you think
through it that way, that's all you need to do. You know,
even if a murder was committed in the car, Heaven forbid, that doesn't
hold into it. It's an inanimate object. The important thing is that you
are going through and doing due diligence of your finances and being a good steward
of the things that God has given you, and that gives glory to God,
but to Him and ha and like the Pharisees or the sadducees and to
stand on high mountains praying over everything is more theatrics. I'm not saying your
father is doing this. I'm only hearing your side. But that's more theatrics
than it is proper application of scripture. Robert, Welcome to the Jesus Christ
Show. Hello Jesus, Hi, Robert, what's going on? We're just
confused. I've got a little people, a little different churches. They all
telling me the true Church, and I'm not there. Who's telling me the
truth and who's just doing it for personal gain? Well, so you're saying
because so many people have differing views. No, what I'm saying is that
I don't know. Everyone keeps telling me they've got the truth. All these
churches around me tell me they've got the truth, and I'm confused because they
all different, they all say something different. Okay, Well that means that
they can all be wrong, but they can't all be right because they contradict
each other. Right, Yeah, okay, So but that certainly doesn't mean
that that there isn't the possibility that one of them can be right. Well,
I'm not saying that one of them can't be right. I just I
just don't. I just don't. I just how do I know where to
go? How do I know who what to worship? I know to worship
God in case? Right, I just I just don't know in what manner?
I mean, what rituals do I follow? Okay, Well, the
the important thing is is the essential part they're the as far as denominational difference
is dealing with baptism, whether it's infant baptism versus adult baptism, versus sprinkle
versus full summersion, for whatever it is. If it's those things, that's
you're gonna have to follow that finding in your own life. Yeah, okay,
So it's really about it's really about the definition of Christianity. If you're
already good with following the Father and and you're already good with Christianity, then
really it's about the flavor of Christianity, not about the faith in general.
Is that what I'm hearing you saying? Are you saying that you you have
no problem with following Christianity? You just not You're not sure which denomination?
Yeah, very much, because the truth, well, of course you don't
wanna you don't wanna be with somebody who's preaching something that they don't believe that
doesn't make sense. Of course, they're going to think that it's the truth.
That's what that's what propels people in passion. For instance, if you
whittle it down to political parties, you have to the left and the right
for most part in the United States, and you've got these two political denominations
and uh, you look at them, and it's not just about you're gonna
have to break down as which part of that you think makes more sense or
you think is more valuable for the United States. And when it comes to
your, uh, your religious belief, if you've already gotten that much done,
you're already going, Okay, I have no problem following Christ and this
is all good, and I believe in you and this is fine, and
we're going to start there. That's a great start. As far as the
other parts of the denomination are concerned, that's really just toppings are flavoring dealing
with the core issues. The core issues are the Trinity and the virgin birth,
these things, and those are the essentials that you should adhere to.
As far as how one worships, you're going to have to reach inside yourself.
And if it's not something that contradicts scripture. It's like you're worshiping by
you know, killing chickens or something like that. If it's if it's not
something that grossly goes against scripture, then that's up. That's up for your
interpretation. It's just the part, the actual Christian part, that you can't
remove from the equation and call yourself a Christian. But there are the flavors.
There's gonna be difference, and it does get confusing. But don't be
lazy, you know, there's all kinds of things, you know, I
find this humorous, Robert, that that men will spend countless hours, you
know, perusing you know, your local electronics store catalogs and going online and
pricing, same with cars for car parts, for any types of electronic gadgetry.
They'll spend hours, and they will tell you everything about that. This
is what this one has, this is what's this one has, this is
what makes this one better, this one's better for this usage, but not
for this usage. And they'll be able to parse it like nobody's business.
Yet they will be the same ones that will call me saying I'm confused about
all the different denominations out there and which one's right, do the whole work,
Robert, take the time to investigate, to look at what the beliefs
are. Every church worth their weight should have a mission statement and their beliefs
and what they believe. And a lot of times you can find this online.
Now you can go and you can search, and you can look for
those that use double speak and you can go, Okay, that's not for
me. They look like they're kind of trying to dance around an issue,
or you know, things like that. Or you investigate, you take time
to go and you see how the people react and what the fruits are.
You know, if someone told you they're the best farmer, you'd be able
to go and you'd look and you'd see the produce and you'd see what they
were growing, and you'd say, hey, wow, these really are beautiful
and this does look healthy and it looks vibrant, and he seems to tend
to it to his crops well and his animals well, and you'd see those
things and there's going to be fruits of those. You can't you can't just
expect someone to tell you that shouldn't be the proof. What you're looking for
is the is truth, and that's something that you're going to have to search
for and read scripture and pray about and study, and then you'll be secure
in it. Don't just wait for something that's the flashiest or those types of
things. It's going to have to be real, legitimate fruit, and that's
where the value lies. Leslie, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hello,
Hi there, Hey, I wondered, is there anything in the Bible
that specifically and really directly says that you can stick up for yourself if someone
is using you or treating me bad. Well, yes, but you don't
necessarily need that. I mean, it's a righteous thing to defend yourself.
People misquote scripture all the time and take it out of context and therefore get
confused and they think that I was a pacifist, and that's not true.
It's that you need wisdom and understanding to do it appropriately. And there's times
in scripture where where I might condemn somebody for doing something and say, you
know, he lived by the sword, dies by the sword. But in
that particular case, I'm referring to Peter taking out his sword and cutting off
someone's ear after I'd already told him that this is what's going to happen,
and this has to happen. So it was using the sword out of context
because prior to that, I actually tell them to gather their swords, and
that it's important. Also, if you go to Exodus twenty two, verse
two and three, it says if a thief is caught breaking in and is
struck so that he dies, the defender is not guilty of bloodshed. But
if it happens under or after sunrise, he is guilty of bloodshed. A
thief must certainly make restitution, but if he has nothing, he must be
sold to pay for his theft. Now, the reason why I pick this
one for you is that you see two different parts of the same situation.
If a thief is caught breaking in and struck, so he dies, and
this is implied that it's at night, yeah, and the situation is dire
and quick decisions have to be made that if he dies, so be it.
The defender is not guilty of bloodshed. However, if it's sunrise,
and this implies that if you have time to get out where you're not physically
in harm harm's way, then it's not the first call or line of duty
is not to harm the person, but to protect yourself, and then restitution
can be made for what was stolen by using the courts of law. Well,
you said that there were versus that specifically said are there any others including
this one in Exodus twenty two? Is there a reason that Exodus twenty two
doesn't suit your your ONTs or needs. Why do you ask the question?
Well, because the situation I'm thinking about is when a person has authority over
you, for instance, in marriage. Well, the authority over you is
is the same as the authority you have over them, and it doesn't mean
that you are to be beaten. Never Ever, you won't find any scripture
that says it's okay for you to be abused verbally or emotionally or physically.
Yes, I agree with that. But if you're married to someone who does
that and they keep pointing out what the Bible says about, no, no,
no, no, no, where is it? Where is your answer?
There is? You're not going to find a scripture about that says don't
chew glass. But do you think for one second God wants you to chew
glass. No, But there's a lot of things in the Bible that it
says not to do that. Most people don't want to do. No,
there's there's nothing in scripture that says that it's okay that somebody would hurt you
in marriage or otherwise. I agree, free, I mean, I know
that's totally wrong and sinful. I used to think that that, even though
what he was doing was wrong and sinful, that the only way I could
be right with God would be to belong suffering and to it. No.
No, no, no no no no no no no no no no.
Love is patient, love is kind, and yeah, but you read that
verse and you find you find there where it says to to receive, you
know that your partner is part of that verse as well. Oh, I
never thought what he was doing was right. Well, then why would you
be a part, a participant of his sin? Why would you think that
was godly? I guess because where I was going to church and what he
was telling me all the time. As I wasn't right with God, then
run, don't walk to the nearest exit. I already did good. But
it still bothers me that there's nothing Well Exodus twenty two, I'm glad to
tell me about that, but it still bothers me that it doesn't say like
why obey your husband and everything onto the Lord. But if he abuses you
leave or don't go along with it. I mean, Leslie, why would
you expect a verse to be so literal on something that every breath of scripture
goes against because everything else in the Bible is that way. No, it's
not just I just spoke to you about not chewing broken glass. There's not
one verse on it. Not one. There's not one verse that says obey
the speed limit. If you read you mentioned chapter thirteen of First Corinthians,
right, and just hear this for me. It's a good one. So
hang tight and I'm going to read it in just a moment. Leslie,
you's still there. Thanks for holding on, my dear. So you're asking
you were in an abusive relationship and you're looking for that one verse, and
I wanted to go through First Corinthians chapter thirteen. People hear it all the
time at weddings, but never ever really listen to it. And then I'll
throw a couple other verses at you that might be helpful as well. But
think of the Bible this way. It's not you're not. People tend to
use proof texts all the time. They pull things out of context. But
God didn't write the Bible in a fortune cookie or a bumper sticker on purpose.
It's not meant to be read that way. It's meant to be read
in its entirety. And it's called hermeneutics. It's the harmony of scripture is
what teaches. And it's like, you know, the guys that come home
and they've got some furniture that they have to build, and it has that
diagram and it's got the entire book that tells you how to do it.
But what they do is they look at the big picture and they look at
that one picture and see it, well, I could probably build it just
by looking at this picture, not seeing all the little nuts and bolts and
where the screws go and all of that. And people try and do the
same thing with scripture. Sometimes they try and look at one verse hoping they're
going to get the whole thing, and that's really not going to serve you.
So let's look at this first, real quick one Corinthians thirteen. And
we've all heard it a million times before. Love is patient, love is
kind, It is not jealous, love does not brag, and it is
not arrogant. Does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own it
is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not
rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes
all things, hopes, all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Now, you can't read that and put an abusive relationship in that context
without it doesn't even need to say you're not supposed to hit anybody or anything
like that. You don't need that because it covers it. But why don't
you? I mean, but there is more? And I don't want to
leave you there. Colossians three nineteen says husbands love your wives and do not
be harsh with them. Right, Colossians three nineteen, Now that covers all
of it. See, I know those verses that have to do with what
the husband's supposed to do, and I know about the verses that tell it
the wife's supposed to do. Then where are you lost? I'm lost?
Because all right, like in one Corintheans thirteen and talk about being patient kind,
yes, and I believe all that, And it also talked about enduring
all things, not getting offended when somebody wrongs you, and like in Proverbs,
it says that it's thought answer turn its way. Well, if you're
married to a bully thought, the answer turns on wrath. And it's just
like, why doesn't it stay somewhere in there? What to do? There's
so much emphasis on long suffering and enduring, not taking offense. Yes,
because there's a there's abuse, leslie. There's people that abuse those terms and
they think, oh, well, I don't like this relationship. I'm gonna
bail. That's not talking about a case that you're talking about, right,
It's because people use them out of context, but never one Peter three seven
says husbands in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives,
treat them with respect, over and over and it's it says that in
Ephesians five twenty nine that no one hates their own body, and you're to
treat your spouse as your own body. So having said all those things and
covering all those things, would say that there is plenty for you to understand
that it's wrong. It says in scripture, and this covers all evil,
and I'll leave you with this. Flee flee all types of evil. It
speaks of sexual sin, of all kinds of things. It is not okay
to be mistreated. You protect yourself. There is nothing in scripture against self
defense, not a one. And that's not what it means to turn the
other cheek. That's about being insulted, not about being slugged. I appreciate
you taking the time to listen to the show. I hope you make it
a part of your week every single Sunday to meet me here and remember,
more importantly than all the craziness and weight of the things in the world,
remember these words. I Am with you always. KFI AM six on demand