For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world. This has
the man be stildo corn is a live and kicking on over here. I'll
have but your ass a couple of times. If you know what I'm saying.
This is brother breaking all the forty yard brother come off. Zi Oh
but I didn't piss off Jesus you call that a penalty number one, that's
number one. It's the l a clippers boot. Shut up. You're tagging
it wrong. People. I would get it pregnant. They just called in
and hangs up. Your motherfucker that fucking kiss me off? Are you?
Are you in a shower down? Totally in the shower. He's not a
coke? Can give me James, stupid idiot. You're super idiot for getting
so far up tight over you're clearly why why don't you're comming? Welcome to
punch drunk sports where winners are winning all the time. People wonder how much
winning can one group do all of it maximum winning? Join me as always,
Jay Nice, Johnny Woodard, Johnny Woodard waiting on Jason. Jason's not
not here yet. He's uh, he's a text. Are we potting?
Johnny your nickname is Johnny Woodard is it wouldn't that be weird if you had
a nick name that was What if my nickname was longer than my real name.
What if it was like Jonathan's wood artist or something like that, you
know, wood artist, bro, I would love, dude the wood just
hang out with the wood artist. Hey, man, you know gets all
the bitches around here, the wood artist, the wood artist, wood artist,
I said, wood artists, but yeah, wood artist is even better.
I like that. I'm a Woodard. You know. There's this place
down the street from me where they have, uh they do like pottery and
yeah, art would art like that. And they're the hottest chicks coming out
of that place. What are Yeah, they're like carving shit and they do
pottery. And I think these women like work there or it's like a hobby
for them, but they're they're a lot and they're so hot and some of
the hottest chicks. Here's Jason about taking it up. Maybe maybe just do
a little bit of a little wood working over there, buddy, Buddy,
I've been woodworking since the jump, since puberty. Yeah, here we go,
here's Jason. He's coming, all right, Johnny, can we get
into me. She lacking you in in fancy football. She lacking I mean
probably my I'm not gonna lie to you when I tell you, Johnny,
that was the highest most points I ever scored in fancy football. And that's
what it would take for you to beat me. I'm glad you admit that.
Yeah, I mean, dude, I beat I beat Jason the week
before four. Jason's in my last place, so that's not Can you see
me? Yeah, we can and we're live. You can see, you
can see and hear you. WHOA everybody real quick? Welcome Jason a ka
bieber. Look at the baber here cut Jason's got on Jason tebo aka the
Beabs and hat on all day. No, I just said, you're looking
dangerous, buddy, You're looking dangerous. Let me beber it out a little
bit. Hi, guys, Sam, congratulations, you were basically winless and
then you beat both of us and I'm not I'm like a three lost team
or something, Johnny, and I beat Kareem's black ass this week, so
there it came to me on that can on that well, but I think
you beat being fancy basketball too. I did week one beat you and by
the way. I just want to say thanks quick shout out. Uh,
Johnny sent me out. I was out of town, which why can't you
trick that week? Johnny? What you call? Hey? It's hey man,
it's the fifth round of the basketball draft. Just thought you might want
to know. I didn't even know there was a basketball draft that weekend,
let alone. Johnny's timely, Uh, the commissioner. It's not much Nsion
dobs t dops. He's been running. Yeah. But then I smoking my
Twitter d MS, which I hardly ever look at, and it was like,
hey, there's a fantasy draft in the nine days, all right,
Yeah, but it was like fucking a month ago. But anyways, I'm
doing good A month ago is what you just said. He told ago,
but I did not. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying, Johnny.
Samuel, look at he's saying what he's saying, Samuel, look good,
Johnny are also here. That's that's all. It's always that's what we're saying,
Sam. How is Indianapolis? How is Saint Louis? You were just
not too far away from Indianapolis? Was spectacular. Saint Louis was Saint Louis.
Man, It's just it's a fun Saint Louis. This is cool.
I mean, dude, when you drive into Saint Louis, you're like,
oh, is this like a zombie apocalypse going on? Which is crazy because
you don't see anybody. So I just saw a sorry last night on the
Internet that this very famous like high rise building is basically being sold for two
dollars a square foot. So it's good. It's like a giant building that's
probably gonna be sold for like a million point five one point five mil a
giant skyrise because nobody wants it. You should buy it, crazy, you
should buy it, or should buy And what am I gonna do with the
maintenance alone is like they stayed two million year. You could just podcast on
every floor you know different but every woman you've ever dated on a different floor.
You can put every woman who've ever dated on a different floor and just
go Florida, Florida, Florida, Florida floor handle business. Oh that'd be
so great, dude, that'd be so great. Yeah, I'm surprised these
rappers don't just get it and then just fill it. You could solve homeless
in Saint Louis. You could sing handed do that you could. Here's the
thing about the holmst in Saint Louis. You don't see any you don't see
any of them. There's nobody on the streets. Dude. You go around
Saint Luis, you're like, what is this twenty eight days later? Is
it? Should I just start running right now? Wait? So you were
kind of criticizing it or like in the beginning, what did you mean by
that when you said that it you know, kind of look dead or whatever.
What did you say? Dude? There's Listen, every time I've ever
been to Saint Louis, there's nobody on the streets. I mean literally nobody,
like to the point where you like, did did did the apocalypse just
happen? And that includes your time you were just there. The people who
live there love it. I know that. I mean people who are from
Saint Louis and live there love If you bring up you try to talk any
shit about baseball, they lose it, dude. Oh yeah, they dude,
they take their baseball brother. They're kind of one of the closet kind
of nasty fan bases. If you get into arguments with them or or you
know, for the opposing players. Apparently like whenever the players are asked,
they're always like, yeah, Saint Louis fans are kind of kind of secretly
really really kind of annoying. Well, i mean it's like kind of crazy
that I have a basketball team. I mean, they got a hockey team,
the Blues, and they got the Cardinals, who like they're like a
legit organization. They're a great example of if you can put your get your
ducks in line, you can be a small market still be nasty. Yeah.
Yeah, hors have been waiting fucking forty years to do that. But
who Vegas took over hockey in two Yeah. Right, Well, I mean
everybody wants So it's gonna be interesting what happens with Vegas because they're probably within
the next five years going to get expansion team. Carolyn got the uh the
Athletics coming there. Yeah, but it's it's already hit snacks, like they
want to knock down the Tropicana and put the baseball team right there on.
I'm like you already there's some there, go down a mile, there's empty
nothing, Like, what are you talking about? You want to knock down
this? Vegas does this some time. They knock down all their wonderful old
ship and they build brand new cheap bullshit. It's like, you don't have
to knock down the Tropicana. There's a ton of places you could put that
stadium on the Sunset Strip, It's not that far away. It's just absolutely
ridiculous that you're gonna get rid of this historic, this trip, I mean
the Las Vegas trip, I know what you mean. And that's a guy
that is from Vegas. That's a guy that lived in Vegas for a long
time. That's a lot of it's famous favorite. It's just dumb. It's
just don't try to get Have you been in the trop in a while,
It's like, I mean, they gotta do something with either you know,
rehab the place or or knock getting down. I mean, I was just
talking to somebody the other day about Reno, about how Reno's now trying to
make a move, and it's like, Okay, here's what you gotta do.
You gotta take your whole downtown and carpet bomb it and start over,
because Reno's great. Reno's great. Reno is like, Okay, I want
to live I want the Vegas lifestyle without the traffic. That's that's Reno.
Reno's not big enough though for like a major sports franchise. No, no,
no, it will never have a major sports team. But you can
get all that action, right, you can get like strippers and gambling,
and but now it's in a small town, which is great. Like I
told my dad, I'm like, Dad, why don't you live in Reno?
Why are you living in Prescott, Arizona? Out of the way,
right Reno. Yeah, that's what I want. And it's like a two
hour flight to Vegas. I mean to LA. They should change the Oakland
Athletics the A's when they come to Vegas. They should be the Las Vegas
A List Strippers, Okay, or I would have taken a Holes or a
it could be the Aces. No, there's already the Aces are are either
basketball team, and that's the worst thing. And Vegas can never ever get
a name right for a sports team. It's always the Outlaws. They always
love to go with the Outlaws. Yeah, the Vegas Outlaw. It's like
it's like the Gamblers, you know, yeah, the Gamblers the Outlaws.
It's like, dude, there's so many great names out there, like monsters,
Like why have anybody everything a number one was monsters. If you gave
me one hundred guesses, my guests would not have been Sam's called the monsters.
Yeah, but I had you coming up with the Fisters or the fucking
twisted Fisters. You don't showguns the samurais. That's why they would let you
do that. They will never let you do another. You'll never go Roans,
what about the Ronans anything? It would be really nice, dude,
some Samurai ship the Vegas Rodents. Oh, come on, let's go bro
a cool name. But they'll never do anything like that like that. I
know AI is gonna name this team. You know AI is gonna name this
team. You're just gonna get an AI and do it right now, Johnny.
As I come up with a new franchise and what let's do basketball,
football, and baseball. I'll get it to do a logo too, Okay,
hold on, uh please name uh please give me a few potential Hey,
Johnny, while you're doing that, I want to talk about my I
don't know if you know, Jason, but I am creating a my first
family friendly uh entertainment brand. It's called the Chaos Twins, and I'm starting
a comic book for kids that families can read to their kids that are about
conspiracy. And it starts like two twin girls who like fight the Deep State
in their neighborhood. Like each city, each house is a different conspiracy on
the block. So it's called Chaos Twins and Johnny, if you could go
to the page room, seventy five dollars from we are now seventy five dollars
from our first our first goal, which is thirty five hundred, so we
can make the first magazine. So we're seventy five dollars from that. Hopefully
today we'll hit that and if we get up, you know, we'll see
how it goes. But we get to the end and we can get enough
to make an animation, we're gonna do that as well. So our goal
is to do a whole Yeah, listen, for fifteen hundred dollars, you
can be a guest on my show. You can be a guest on one
of my podcasts. Yeah, I like that for ten dollars. Not to
undercut you. That's cool saying that looks really cool too. Congratulations on it.
Yeah, thank you. Value right here, super Backer, Combo early
Bird. Yeah, yeah, and you can get and dude, it's It's
about two girls who they turned to bears and a bird and they fight crime.
They have the and base off my daughters. We should call them Ghost
Bear and Ninja Bird, and that's their superpowers. Ten dollars For ten dollars,
I will come and live with you for two years. Hey, we
got ten names. It just spit out ten years ago. Okay, so
this what what sport did you say? There? It is? There it
is. I'm just gonna read them to everybody. Okay. The Las Vegas
Jackpots is number one, the Las Vegas Gamblers. Like we said, the
Las Vegas the Neon. It's not bad because I could see a lot of
themes around Neon. Outlaws, Aces, Scorpions, Scorings are the best so
far. The other lists back up. I want to read it and then
we all vote on which one we like. That the Mirage Flash It,
I'm gonna bring it up. I'm just gonna read them all first, the
Flash, the Rollers and the Mohaves. The Mohaves, yeah, the Indians.
The only one on there worth anything is the Scorpions. I bet you
it'll be one of these, Like Jackpots Gamblers, those will all be outlaws
of being what sport is this I said this, Okay, so we're gonna
go this would be the high rollers probably, but they would get into an
issue with the high roller. I think it's a lot of rolling papers,
a lot of rolling papers. Yeah, those none of those inspire me at
all. Yeah, but I well none of them were the monsters. Let's
be honest. But uh, I think like a try monsters. We write
Vegas monsters. Who would be the best? Bro? What about the way?
What about the wingmen? The Las Vegas wingmen? Yeah, I mean
that's that's that's certainly better than monsters. But are you talking about Johnny?
I'm just giving you hard time. It just sounds like it's a little bit
of like a sort of a child like three year old said yeah, yeah,
yeah, well that's what you're going for. Are you so what you
want? Yeah? You want to hook the kids? Okay, what which
of those did you pick? Because I'm gonna ask it to give me a
logo Scorpions, the Scorpions. Okay, please design a logo for a new
Las Vegas basketball team, NBA basketball Scorpions. I don't think the NBA.
I'll put NBA, all right. I just want to show you guys,
what it spits out. Let's see if this works. This is scary,
this is due. You don't even know, bro, you don't know.
You think, yeah, you want to know. I don't. I kind
of don't want to know. It seems like it's stuck here. Hans usually
like instant give a second. But yeah, yeah, so you like scorpions,
samas, so you go with some of those. That's here. It
is right here, okay, here, it is all right, all right,
it's not bad. It has Yeah, it's not bad. That's not
bad at all. And I guarantee Johnny Sagos like the one on the left,
like the one on the left more, they're both pretty good. I
bet it'll be I bet it's gonna I bet they used because think is there
there's not an NBA team that has the black and gold, right, I
could see them easily doing that, like keeping the black. Oh, you're
totally right, and that fits in with the uh with the other team that
they have there, which is the Knights. Yeah, yeah, I could
totally sem doing that again. But isn't that crazy? I mean that took
what thirty seconds for that thing? Dude? Humans are aft, they're just
as it's over. Yeah, that would take an art like you know,
the show mad Men. It would take their entire staff, like an entire
summer to come up with that logo on the show mad Men in the nineteen
You're so right, Jason, And that was in like before our first commercial
break on this podcast. That's so hilarious, dude, that's so funny,
Sam, Sam, You've got any shows you want to promote? Uh?
Yeah, well okay, so here you go. Thank you, buddy.
That's just go cast Quick Twins dot com, Cast Twins dot com. Uh
this week, why does this go out? Johnny Tomorrow? Okay, I
am Uh. I'm going to be at Bellflower at the new stand Up Club.
I'm celebrating their second year anniversary. I'm very honored to be a part
of that. Then the following week, I am in Austin on a Friday,
and Uh, Sunday, I'm on I'm at the UH I'm in Dallas
or Plano, Texas for the Temple Hat Comedy Night. So I'm very excited.
And Johnny, I know I've been saying dates, but I finally figured
out the date that I'm going to be on the road. I'm going I
mean the day I'm gonna shoot my It will be February third, I believe,
which is a which is a Sunday night. Let me make sure February
Sunday night. And it's going to be. Yeah, it's February third,
is a Saturday. Yeah, February fourth. I'm gonna shoot it February third
or fourth, depending on how much it's going to cost me to shoot.
And I'm gonna shoot my special. And that's perfect because it's in between the
last week of the playoffs, the and the week of the super Bowl.
So I'm gonna shoot that and yeah, that's it. So I decide that's
today because I have two great weeks great before two out of three weeks before
that, I'm on the road, So I'm going to hammer out this work
on that special and bang it out on. I got two shows I'm going
to promote real quick. All right, November forty eight, I'm gonna be
at Glory Glory Holdelujah once again for I love that club. I love that
club. It's a great club, dude, for their big Kobe Ah.
She said, no, fest I get and uh, I'm doing a meeting,
Greed. I'm doing a meet and greet at the puking rug, so
make sure all the puking rug is that still going. I believe at Leaston
will be on the forty eighth. And then this Saturday, Indianapolis at closed
Memorial Hall Saturday, seven pm, Me, Ari Shaffer, Steve Renizizi,
and Ryan O'Neill are doing Ari's uh what's it called Wrong Side of History tour,
so Indianapolis this Saturday, November eleventh. That's great that you're in on
that. That's all the box show me Ren is easy, Rightan O'Neill,
it's a real punch drunk saying you get You two are the only two that
aren't there. We got all the game, bro, all the dude,
you almost were there. You were there like the fucking week before we're there.
But yeah, so but we're down at Butler University at closed Hall seven
pm and it's already a low ticket morning, so come get your dick suck
and I will guarantee you if you come up and you use the code.
Hey, I would listen to punch Yunk. I heard this episode either Renda
is Easy or or Ari will suck your cock. Ohn, Me and O'Neill
are out. O'Neill and I are out. He's out, like they're both
they came out there, they're out of the close So because we're look,
we're both from Indiana, we're both out of the closet, and we are
spoken for with each other. O'Neill and I are going to be dating now
at least that night. So those guys, while Sam and you haven't been
up with the news, but everybody knows that really except it's like the Taylor
Swift. It's like Taylor Swift and Kelsey. Me and O'Neill are one night
only, are complete gay fucking lovers. So if he starts sucking someone's dick
or I start something, we're gonna it's gonna be a jealousy thing. I'm
not trying to make my man competitions where you guys fight each oime who can
slab more. I am trying to make my man jealous. But if you
come up and say I heard this unpunched on Ren is easy or Ari will
suck you off to completion. I love that. I love that. November
eleventh, this Saturday, This Saturday, come out to Butler University. I'm
stoked. I'm stock to do the show, but I'm actually more stoked to
see those three fucking idiots. You see him on the tour bus. They're
going, they're acting like a bunch of twelve year olds on the tour bus.
I haven't seen that well on his Instagram or something. Always three of
them. Now Ari's got his whole tour going. But now he's got his
tour bus and twelve days in a row. Ren Is Easy and Ryan O'Neill
are on Ari's tour bus touring with him only twelve of the dates, and
they were in Indianapolis. So I hit him up. I go, dude,
let's have a fucking super Friends show. I told, hey, Sammy,
I texted Ari, I go, hey, man, and I'll do
a fucking guest body. Uh, nothing crazy, like a fucking super tight
sixty minutes and then light me and I'll go into my thirty minute closer,
which is basically just me learning how to play the bagpipes for the first time.
And then parenthes I wrote, never seen one before, and uh,
dude, and they will be fucking so pumped for all your little skits.
Right after that skits, you know that'd be so pumped for your little fucking
skits. And then he goes, let's make it happen, and I go,
do you know anybody that has bagpipes? And he goes, not in
Indiana. I'm excited. Okay, so let's get in some sports. I've
been Jones and dude, I know, I know, we've all been all
over the place. You've had a lot of Yeah, you've had a lot
of Clipper news. Did anything happen with the Clippers? Oh? Yeah,
they lost yesterday to the Knicks, right out the game, the first time
they will. I'm gonna be honest with you. Harden looks fat. He
is fat. What do you mean he looks back because he is fat.
Yeah, yeah, I know, but he looked like very sloppy, so
he better start shedding those powers. And they played him a lot, like
were you surprised how much they played it? He got like thirty thirty plus
minutes. I think, yeah, I know, I'm not surprised. We're
paying him a lot of money. Get out there and dance. Okay,
get out there and dance. We'll see if it works. We'll see I
don't. I mean, I'm gonna be honest with you. It's so funny.
The view of Russell Westbrook by the people who follow the Clippers and outside
media, anybody outside of that. The people who follow the Clippers love Russell
Westbrook. He is loved. He shows up every time. Maybe he has
some turnovers there, but he goes full fours and he's excited. Everyone loves
him. He is the leader on this team. Okay, so we love
him, and everyone's like, oh man, how's this gonna affect Harden?
I mean, how's this gonna affect Russell Westbrook? They're gonna make hard and
work around Westbrook, I tell you right now, dude, and I think
it's gonna work out. The problem is that we saw last night. He's
at zoobox, can't box out anybody. He's not strong enough. He needs
to get into the gym and lift a thousand weights and get shredded. But
I'm a big What he's so big, you think that wouldn't be his fucking
issue. Yeah, but he's not. He's he's not strong, and he
gets lit up all the time. He gets lit up all the time.
So I'm excited. I'm excited for this year. There's no team that looks
like outside of the Celtics, that look like they're running away with it.
But I like it, dude, Like, yeah, they lost last night
to the Timberwolves, who were way better than people thought. I like it,
dude. I love You've been to a game yet, Sam, I
do have tickets to go to a game yet. No, I haven't had
a game. I've been invited, I just haven't gone yet. I do
want to go, though, I do want to go. I'm excited.
I am very excited, and I can't are there. Okay, here's the
number one thing that you get out here with like all these you know,
I'm in Chicago Bulls Country, so they don't really listen to Clippers too too
much. But all they just see is the headlines. Oh, Harden's going
there and now they's got these Are there enough balls to go around with that
starting lineup? Oh yeah, Oh yeah, for sure. I don't think
that's the Clippers problem. I never get a sense that people are upset about
getting their shots off. I think they're more The biggest problem is health.
That's it, and a little bit of defense. I think we're gonna have
a big problem with defense. Yeah. So the Denver Nuggets have one loss,
the Dallas Mavericks have one loss, and Boston has one loss, and
Philadelphia has one loss. That's kind of crazy. It's early, now,
you know, it's early. Yeah, a lot of good teams. I
think any of those teams could could be at the top of the end.
Yeah, I mean so far. You know, mil Walkee's four and two.
They struggled a little bit, but they're doing well. I mean,
they'll be right, they'll be fine. These guys figure it out. Timberwolves
are killing it. Lakers three and four, they don't they they and they
haven't looked good to me either, Like I watched them. They played great
in that game against the Clippers. That's the best game I've seen them play.
I think, yeah, because the thought, Okay, dude, they're
down a bunch of guys that are normally in the rotation because of the trade.
This is my chance to beat them. But the truth of the matter
is this, dude, it's just like, dude, when you're paying a
thirty nine year old that much money of your salary cap, you're screwed.
And it's like the narrative versus Like the narrative behind Lebron James on the Lakers
versus what he gets paid is they're totally different. Like, you can't rely
on this guy to carry you. He's thirty nine, Well, why is
he ain't ging fifty something millig? That's some funny You're right, You're so
right, you know. And it's just like listen, and probably Lebron James
is probably worth one hundred, one hundred and fifty million dollars to the Lakers.
But guess what, like in this day and age of salary cap he
has completely f this team by taking that much money. And it's like,
would like imagine, like, hey, Lebron, tell me about your life.
Yeah, if you only made twenty mil this year versus fifty mil,
Bro, I would get a lot less tacos. I'll tell you that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, remember when he moved out, you wouldn't even
know. He wouldn't even know Tuesdays. I'm think an idiot, Well,
who are you trying to copyright Taco Tuesday? It's been a thing since the
nineties at least I remember kids talking about that, going to take taco Tuesdays.
Why are you taking that much money? Yeah, you deserve it,
but you you make billions of dollars, dude, you made so much to
tell you, winning is not his number one priority, or if it was
also that he's not the smartest guy in the world either. I mean,
and that's why the Las Vegas Scorpions should be very nervous about Lebron James buying
that having that team, because he keeps saying he wants the Vegas team.
I mean, dude, you already have Mark Davis and we'll get into that,
because I actually don't mind Mark Davis. He's you can tell he's a
little flush with cash right now that he's willing to take this chance and get
rid of that Coach's going to cost a lot of money. But you do
not want Lebron James putting your teams together. He has no ability to do
it. He's shown it side over and over again. I mean, dude,
he comes back to the Caves, he gets rid of the first pick,
which was Andrew Wiggins, who is a defensive wing, and he trades
him for Kevin Love. So he gets his ass kicked by the Golden State
Warriors because he has no one who can play defense on the wing. The
guy just totally acted himself because he had so much power. It's the same
with Jordan too, dude. I mean, I think those great players,
they just I'm trying to fit. Like, okay, so it was I
was Lady is the only one that got it wasn't Larry Bird. Larry Bird.
Larry Bird. He was a GM a coach, and I mean he
drafted Tyler. He drafted Tyler Hansbur on the lottery. Let's not forget that.
Yeah, but at the time people thought Tyler handsbro was not really No,
dude, you're forgetting I go over that draft, see who was after
him, and see who else was available. Let's see if anyone else after
that was was good enough. Okay, all right, all right, give
me just say I don't have to look up the year. It's like,
what two thousand and six seven? Let me see two thousand and nine?
She does, Oh, yes, of course it was two thousand and nine.
Guys, have a big announcement too. You're pregnant. Yes, here's
my big announcement. Drum roll, please go ahead, drum drum, drum,
drums drums. I have moved Bill Russell in my top five of all
time. You moved in is out? Oh you moved Bill Russell up because
of what recent recent accomplishments, or you might have just kind of thinking about
like if you go through exactly how dominant that guy was. It's somewhat crazy.
It's somewhat crazy. He never lost in Game seven ever, that's ever,
right. I mean, he's just so good and he just i mean,
everybody wants to say that Wilt Chamberlain was the best ever. It's like,
bro, he beat him every time, almost every time. Yeah,
not a great draft. Yeah, you're right about that. Sam Drew Holliday
was taken after him. That's an All Star. Jeff Tige, there's an
All Star was taken after him. Jeff Jeff Tigue was an All Star.
Oh yeah, I guess he had a moment. Yeah, but that's that's
really about it. You know, it's not a bad point. You're right,
But I mean, like, I mean, that was that draft at
the top was pretty good. I mean you had Blake Hasheen to beat Remember
him going to second? What a what a terrible pick that was? Well,
that was the beginning of like, oh the big guys can't play anymore.
James Harden, Tyreek Evans, Ricky Rubio, Steph Curry, Damar de
Rosen. Remember this is how bad that class was. Because Blake Griffin was
hurt the whole year and he didn't even play good. I mean step cry
Evans won Rookie of the Year. Yeah, I mean he was Curryrosen.
Those guys are good. Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right,
But I still good. But dude, yeah, I mean, dude,
it is so hard when the NBA moves on for you to ever get
back to the NBA. It is almost impossible because there's so much talent coming
in and these guys at the top are taking so much of your salary cap
that they can't sign that anymore because the collective bargaining is like they have to
be paid this much because they've been in the league this long. So they're
like, why would I sign him when I can have this kid to come
in and just fill up the end of the bench. Yeah, and they
have so many deals like for signing young talent, like those two way contracts
and stuff seem to benefit younger players. You know, yeah, yours,
it's crazy, but we'll see how it goes. Uh, Johnny and I
are big. We're buying big on Wenby. Yeah, I mean he's fun
to watch too, Like, it's crazy, it's crazy. Do you still
know he do you still doubt his physicality, Uh, Sam, his physicality.
Yeah, do you think he's gonna be physical enough? I remember you
talking and being worried that he was not well. I've always said that I
think that he should play a little higher up for most of it, depending
on who he's playing. He does have to put some weight on, uh
before he SUTs going down there and banging all the time, because that's a
lot of the leg, a lot of the a lot of everything that could
get easily hurt. So but I mean, I think he should play like
Kevin Durant for a long time. I think it would be better for him
the long run, my opinion, and then go down there and block stuff
here and there. But I wouldn't put my body on the line with that
much space, that long of a body that to get hit and your knee
taking out all that shit. It's a special guy that I wouldn't put anything
past him. Blocks it and just grabs it. Oh I got I'll keep
it. It's it's amazing. Nobody seen anybody. And you know when it's
so funny because they did this Lebron too, where like all these bets are
like he's just a high school kid. He ain't gonna come here and do
nothing. And then he comes in here and take that's you got all these
guys going. Dude, there's way too much pressure on him. He ain't
that guy. He ain't gonna be that guy. And he comes out and
he beats Kevin Durant two games in a row Man, two games, one
game, he comes back twenty points. He scored more points in one game
than Kevin Durant. That's nuts to me. The Spurs are so fucking lucky,
dude, Dude, it sucks. And now you got this guy like,
oh man, is he gonna be the greatest coach of all time?
I fucking hate pop dude, just because he just he as soon as Tim
Duncan laught, he got all super woke. It would be like if yeah
he did, it would be like if Belichick what who like got my homes
right after a Brady? You know. Yeah, it's the equivalent of that.
Yeah, So I'm excited to see how it goes. I mean,
we'll see what happens. I think this NBA, I mean, by the
way it can can Does anyone know what's going on with this? In in
season tournament? What is this? Yeah? I I you know, I
kind of like it. I'm gonna I mean, I'm gonna give it a
chance. Is it over? Is it still going? Like? What's going
off this tournament? I don't know. It's as different points throughout the season
where they stop and they play a little bit. So they're playing more than
eighty two games? No? No, well yeah, I think so.
Hold on, I think they cut what preseason games maybe or something I don't
remember. H hold on, I think you're gonna have to talk on.
Each team will continue to play eighty two regular season games, including those games
that are a part of group play. Yeah, so it just counts part
of the regular season games. It's just calling it some bullshit. Well,
but it counts. They're in a it's like soccer. It's like a soccer
group, and then the top teams advanced from the group. Right, Yeah,
it's stupid. No, I'm I'm into it, dude. It's an
American I don't I don't like it. Nothing about it says the USA tells
me where I should drink PEPSI you know what, I don't know what's up
and what's down anymore. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry you're
going through that. I don't like it. I would rather them have a
whole week like they to figure it out. I don't know, man,
it just doesn't seem interesting to be. It just seems like too loosey goosey
that actually mean anything. Well, I mean it's it follows a pretty similar
this is how they play, like league Cups and stuff overseas and and and
SoC A good call on that, but it's really those those those tournaments are
really popular. I could totally see especially smaller market teams, you know,
getting a chance because you know it's not you know, you know, I
have these big best of series. Once you get to the knockout rounds,
it's just single elimination. So you could have some teams you don't normally see
getting to play meaningful and quotes games. Uh no, I'm okay with that.
Let's see, let's give it, let's give it a year, Let's
see how it looks. You know. That's that's my kind of view on
it. I'm looking forward to it because the Hornets is the only chance they
have of winning or you know, having any meaningful games this year. I'm
afraid boy finally had a good game ball. Oh yeah, trouble you know,
he's he's getting better. You know, he had you know, he's
coming off that injury. And I just think he took a few games to
uh to get his ship together and and I think the kid looks pretty good
too. I think we made the right choice. Bridge is still out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's I mean, I don't think
they know what to do with him after this latest thing. He's an idiot,
Like, wasn't this Did he do it again? Or was this from
the past? It's it's it was he violated, Yeah it was. It's
another thing, but that it's old out about it until later, uh like
much like it was like a warrant from like February or something, and that
his clause, Hey if you smack a bit again, you gotta go.
Well, I don't think it wasn't he didn't hit her or anything. It
was I can't remember what exactly your rock at the car? That's her and
and their kid? Was it? Like an idiot? Yeah, yeah,
that's it. But I mean, you know you can say that, but
we don't know the circumstances. What was she thrown at him? You know
what I mean? Oh, Johnny good point? Was she trying to hit
him? With the car. You know what I mean, there's always there's
a lot, there's always a side. You're totally right. But also,
Johnny, I'm just gonna tell you this, Sam Tripley. Here, I've
had Johnny, we lost you. I'm still here. It's just like my
cameras, he's being off here, he's being off here. Break I look
at my eye. So uh, whenever I've been I've been swung on so
many times by chicks, and I've never returned fire because you just can't.
You can't. And so like whatever she did at this point and his if
he wants to be a career, he can't retaliate. He's an idiot,
dude. So it's like, I don't care what she did outside him pulling
a gun or a knife on him. You can't retaliate in any way.
Man. It's old. Either you want to play in the NBA or you
go. That's it. It's like sing or killing our team. He's killing
our fuck I've I've never been swung on by a chick, but I've swung
on over thirty women. How many of you actually hit about twenty seven of
them? Okay, that's pretty good for twenty six twenty seven. Yeah,
I'm very proud of you, dude. I'm very proud of you. You're
doing great. You're doing great. So that's the NBA. I know it's
just starting, so we'll get into it. We'll get into a little more.
But I'm enjoying the season so far. I think it's great. How
do you guys feel about your fantasy basketball team? Before we get out of
NBA? Let's do a fantasy basketball You're happy with everybody you got. I
made a good trade and traded Lebron and I got homeboy from the fucking Clippers,
and I'm more than if he still will be the number one leading square
for the Clippers now that they have hardened. No, I mean, I
think there's an understanding on who is who is the man? That's my opinion.
I'm sorry. I just think there's a I think they're coming in knowing
he knows exactly what he's doing. But the problem will not be Wait,
are you saying Harden's gonna be the man? No, it's gonna be Kawhi
is the man. Everybody knows that, and then one B is Paul George
and then the other guys figure it out. But yeah, I traded Lebron
for Paul George. I think Paul George is one bee and Kawi is going
to play fifty four games. George is gonna pay play fucking seventy eight.
George, Like, dude, if you go, who is the greatest clip
factor that into one A? If you're going to be gone a third of
the season all the time, I'm like, fuck, we need another guy.
There's an argument that Paul George is the greatest Clipper of all time.
He got us farther than anybody else, did he? Just I just you
know, he wasn't hard. It's hard to vote for that guy when he
like, he wasn't there for fucking eleven years, you know. Yeah.
So, well, what do I think of my fantasy league? I don't
know how I ever lose a game. I mean, my team is lost
one to me. I don't know already beat you. I have no clue
how you beat me. My team is so stacked. This is not hurry
and Kevin Durant, so this is his team. Caden cunnyam Jalen Brown,
Kawhi, Leonard uh Jannis, Anthony Davis. And here's here's where secks get
a little weird. But I got Brandon Ingram and I still haven't had He's
been out the whole time. Bradley Beale, Darren Fox, she c J
McCollum, and like, dude, my team is fire. It's fired.
Just the problem is I had so many injuries in the first week. But
I got a good team. I'm very excited. I feel like a three
peat is coming. I've got like eight centers. What's your team? Read
your team? I have Steph Curry, I have Harden, I have uh,
Kevin Durant. That's good. I've got the great Gordon Habers, I
got uh. I've got Michale Bridges, I got v Tyler Harrow. Yeah,
it's a good team. The team sucks. My team is predicted to
win. So I will tell you that, Johnny, you got it pulled
up right there reading my team. I was not impressed with Johnny's team right
there. I was not. I am not impressed with your performance. Well
the computers are they predicted I'm gonna win. You've got Kyrie Irving, Uh,
not a big fan. You've got friends of Wagner. You've got Tatum,
Paul George. Not bad Murray. Let's see uh Murray from Atlanta Eddie
Murphy. Now I got Murphy. Yeah yeah, from you know the Hawks.
More on your team, Lamello. I'm just telling you the computers love
my team. My team fills out the box course. Yeah, well,
computers are gonna kill us. All yeah, well, your team sucks,
Johnny. There's no way you better start. Maybe. I mean, I
don't know. Oh, Jerny have it. My team has finished first place
for the past like four years and has multiple championships. I don't know what
to tell you about, Johnny. I haven't won one championship. What are
you talking about? What champ What did you I won? I've won like
three times. What are you talking about? I won the last two.
Let me go back in the app here and tell you, Johnny. Well,
Johnny, while you look that up, you should have to ask AI
to make you a logo called Johnny's Bag of Fart. I won in twenty
eighteen, twenty nineteen. I won twenty nineteen, twenty twenty, I won,
twenty one, twenty two, and then twenty two twenty three. There
you Okay, So Johnny you won every year? No, just four times.
No, I didn't win. I did not win in twenty you didn't
wear the year before. Of course, those are the years that we we
gave it to the we said we were doing. We never did that.
Stop with that. Okay, you sound dumb. The commissioner, the commission
with any fantasy sports ever, NA Fantasy League game. You don't even know.
You don't know anything about fantasy. Clearly, the first Fantasy League game
they didn't have tournaments. No, yes they did. You don't know what
You sound so stupid. You don't know what you're talking about. Sam,
You don't know what you're talking about. So what do you think? This
is a Sam style of argument when he knows he's wrong. He just got
you gross o, bigger stupid gross. You know what you're talking about.
It's called roto fantasy, dude. The original Fantasy League, they didn't play
tournaments. You tip, You don't know what you're talking about, your person?
You so gross? Well good, let's just continue with you being wrong
for eleven minutes. Then we'llkright. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. The tournament
is the guy whoever wins the playoffs wins the league. Okay, that's how
it goes. Stop, that's not what I'm just telling you. That's not
what we did in this league. Okay, you can have your your fake
fantasy championship and I'll have the real fantasy championship and I've had the last few
years. You won the season exhibition tournament. That's correct. Okay, it's
so I don't know what else to tell you. I'm sorry. Yeah,
well, I don't know what to tell you that. You're just pushing this
about it. I don't know. You keep going. Shut you the one
that brought it up because you start reading championships you didn't win. Shut up,
I've got the champions NFL. Talk to me, Hey, what's wrong
with your raiders? I don't know, man, I'm excited for the Yeah,
it's weird, though, it's weird to just bed your quarterback in the
middle of the thing. Go with the guy that was fucking working at a
Denny's making fucking moons over a four year starter of Purdue, which is a
past, happy, fucking football team. This guy the NFL start. This
guy's done an NFL fucking starter. So you would say, every NFL team
goes, I will go with this guy over Garoppolo if they go you these
are your two choices, dude. People listen at the this guy's going to
be all the Raiders were called all the Raiders fans were calling for eight in
the start, they watched this is the quarterback, this is who you want
to be. It's going to be the winner or not. Whether he he's
the one next year, that's a I want to find out, because everybody
wanted this kid the Stars over Garoppolo. Sure, I hear you. We
were in a similar situation. I understand what you're saying. So so it's
like, you want to find out is this the guy or not? Because
Garoppolos got the guy, So let us let's get kicks on the kid.
Yeah, okay, and he listened. Du If he loses every game,
I'm fine with that too, because then we get a higher draft pick and
we get one of these guys coming out. But right now, dude,
it's like, this kid can throw the ball. He's a good he can
throw the fucking ball. I like him, and I like that they you
know, it's like, listen, I am blessed that maybe my teams don't
win, but it's not because I don't have an owner that doesn't try,
you know, I mean, my Mike, all three of my teams the
Dodgers, the Cliffords, and the Raiders. Who fucking Raiders owner is terrible
owner, not just because of his haircut, which is the worst haircut in
the world. It is the worst shipid ship, Yes, but the point
when I'm trying he's done anything since he inherited that team, he hasn't done
anything. No, what he does is he gets he gets a coach that's
doing well, and then he gets excited and he goes signs a name brand
and it blows up in his face. It's happened twice, so I think
he's learned his lesson and he doesn't need to go after the name brand coaches
like fucking a chucky and fat fuck. Okay, sure I could see that,
but dude, the fact that he's willing to get rid of this coach
went so obvious. Both the players and the fans don't think Josh McDaniels is
doing a good job. And it caused him a lot of money to do
it. Most owners wouldn't do that, I'm sorry. And the fact that
he's willing to do it because he's plush with cash from this new stadium,
I think that's a good sign. Just cut cut, fucking cutwaight, just
ditch it, start to complete the fuck over, right, Yeah, I
mean, like, dude, it wasn't going anywhere, right, I hear
you on that. It just wasn't And he just dude, it's not even
like, oh you go, I gotta get the ingredients, dude. Even
when we were winning, you would do shit that would like what are you
doing? Bro? When you're down eight and you kick a field goal and
you're like right there, like what are you doing? What are you doing?
Johnny? What do you think about your I mean, your Panthers are
I'm sorry to say it, but they're pretty bad. Do you see the
hope? They're bad? The defense? Defense is okay, I mean they're
just the defense has just been devastated by I mean they they're missing like seven
starters or something like that, you know when you count like the guys that
rolled down to But uh yeah, no, I don't see any hope.
No, they don't have they don't have a first round pick next year.
And they're the worst Bears. And the Thursday night game is Bears Carolina and
Chicago is the most the two worst teams in the NFL such a bad playing
against each other on Thursday night. You think they would have flexed out of
that, I guess you. No, I don't think has it. I
don't think it started yet, right I think, oh really, I think
maybe this week as the first flat, well you would think they would have
moved that game to Sunday. Adam going nuts though for a fucking forty year
old white guy playing receiver, Well it's because he's the only guy. He's
the only guy that can catch a football on the fucking team. That's why.
The only reason I know that is because I have them. It gets
like eighteen points a week. I go Jesus Christ, Adam Thieling at thirteen
catches for years. There's a question, Johnny, is this like you know
if they can play or not? Do you think he's a good He don't.
I don't think you do know, because we have the worst offense fly
in the NFL possibly and this is the literal worst group of skill position players
in the NFL. So I don't understand why North Carolina doesn't do better.
I just don't get it. Carolina, Like just the professional league teams in
North Carolina, well they've got some. I mean the NHL team has won
the Stanley Cup a time or two, and you know, the Hornets are
always just kind of kicking around eighth or something, you know what I mean.
And the Panthers have been the Super Bowl a couple of times. You
know, that's about it. I mean, it's for a small market.
That's you know, you can't you're kind of doomed to that, that kind
of cycle of like popping your head up every five five or so years and
then rolling back down the hill. That's all. That's all you can ever
hope for, really, unless you get lucky like San Antonio, you know,
which that's even that's a big market really. But you know, if
you if the league shines its face on you, you know, the sunshine
of David whatever. I was listening to this great interview from you know,
that draft with Anthony Davis where Jim Rome got into this kind of nasty argument
with David Stern. He had him on, you know, and asked him
if the draft to fix. Yeah, So it was that for some reason
that came up on something that was the other day. It's just an old
interview with It's one of these classic old UH interviews that kind of pops up
sometimes on YouTube, and it was Jim Rome asked if they fixed the draft
because, you know, the the Pelicans the Hornet at the time, the
New Orleans Hornets were owned by the league. Despite the fact that the Bobcats
had the single worst winning percentage in NBA history that year, by all rights,
deserve the number one pick. Uh and the New Orleans Hornets got it.
So General masks him, if you know, if it's fixed, then
he just got so angry. Dude, he goes, oh, what you
so do you still beat your wife? You know, to prove that point.
But I I I really think that draft. But isn't the answer to
that is I'd never beat my wife? Answer? Well, the answer is
nobody thinks they can beat my wife. Everybody thinks the draft is fixed.
That's the answer. Yeah, the answer everybody beats their wife. No one
considers don't beat their wife to one degree or another. That's correct. Dude.
You look like you do like some kind of like conspiracy radio show.
Jason, you look like you have your own conspirac see radio show. We're
talking moth Man right now. I'm Jason Tebo. Welcome into the YEAP.
But but I think it's interesting, man, I mean, like, uh,
will that kid be good. I mean because they might, they might
ruin Hi. He's getting sacked and hit like more than anybody. He's getting
killed. Dude, if you look at the PFF stats, when he's not
pressured, he's one of the best quarterbacks the NFL. He's like in the
everybody does good if you look, if you look at I mean, they
charged everybody, and he's one of the best, Like everybody else is less
good than him, is what I'm telling you. But when he's under pressure,
he's just getting killed. Yeah, yeah, that's what I think.
That's what it is. And I think if you if he had ideal circumstances,
a solid line and some decent guys, he would be good. He'd
be very good. But he's gonna be worse than average when he's you know,
he's getting pressure because he's throwing the spots. You know, he's he's
timing, and that requires you to have skill position guys that can actually get
to spots, not slow guys who you know don't run routes well, which
is what they have right now. I know Sam's got to go soon,
so I got two things I want to get. Make sure I get Sam's
points on them before we go, OK, but one is uh and this
is also for Johnny two. But then, what do you guys think about
or I should rephrase it. How stupid do you think it is that now
they got flag football in the Olympics? Bro? I wanted to do this
on Broken SIMB. I mean, like, I don't understand why people are
depressed right now because there's so much more opportunity than ever in everything. Ever,
there's so much I mean, like, you can go pro in so
many sports now everything's a pro sport. You can go pro. Is there
a pro flag football league? I'm sure there is. It's an Olympic sport.
There's several, Johnny, there's one. There's a women's and men's,
several divisions of flag football. They hey, you in Subway sandwiches or something
like that. But dude, like I mean, Johnny, there there is
like a professional balloon keep the balloon. Yeah, I seen, dude.
That's incredible. Dude, have you ever watched that? It is incredible.
It's so crazy. It's all pro sports ship right, but pro I mean
what I mean, are they really those guys all one hundred dollars playing sports?
How great would that be that's like saying we're professional podcasters. But Johnny,
before I go, because I got a jam. Guess who just went
back into the basketball gym and is already lighting it up from the outside.
Not you, I would say, assassin, the Armenian assassin. Who's that?
Who's the army assassin? Sammy T He's already dropping bombs? Bro dropping
bomb? Where are you going to play? I do so. I wanted
to with this guy, Joel Staley. He's my fitness trainer. If you
go Joe's Daily Fitness, He's got me on work regiment. So I'm lifting
weights now, so Mondays, Wednesday, Friday, I lift weights and I
uh and then like at the end, I'll go shoot some hoops. Wait,
you're not playing anybody? Are you just shooting? I played a little
bit. I got winded. I couldn't believe how winded I got running up
and down the court. So I'm excited about that. Wait, wait,
but I thought you said you were just like ripping people and stuff. But
you know it sounds like you just ran out of gas after running down the
No, no, no, what I played and I was just I was
a facilitator because the shot the ball so then he came back another day,
started shooting some threes from the outside, just practice nailing this. Oh so
okay, so unguarded. In practice, you were just like your quarterback.
Gotta get recalibrated, dog, gotta get recalibrated. Now, from the way
you presented it originally, it's you made it sound like you were in the
gate. He was ready for the Olympic team. I am ready for the
Olympics. It turns out he was just shooting some free throws a horse with
himself. What he was the dude. We got UFC coming up as well
too. You guys can keep going. I wish I could keep going.
But Sam, before you go my life, two more things real quick.
No, but you just did, and now you're kids old. I want
to be canceled the I was going to say, what are your thoughts about
Dwight Howard and all this stuff? Now, first of all, we've been
saying this. We've known he's been a momo for a long time, and
we don't care. We love be the most momo you can be. Now
he's trying to get blackmailed, no pun intended. I'll say it again.
Dwight Howard has so many kids that he just wants to be able to have
sex with something that doesn't come with a child support payment. That's all he
wants. He just wants to bury his bone in somewhere that doesn't turn out
to be more people and take. He's got to be running out money soon.
There's no way that guy hasn't got to be broke soon. With all
the kids he has, it's amazing to come away of fortune. But dude,
you know that's why they're saying the kid who is the the the host
of the Mass singer, which is the false is? I mean that alone,
that show, Now, I love Doctor Ken, but that show alone
should should be cause for us getting new the fact that multiple seasons, it's
so bad, it's so bad, it's so weird, and it's like,
God, bless you, Doctor Ken. Get that cash, make that money.
But that is the worst. What are we doing as a society.
But dude, Johnny, Johnny, this is my whole favorite. I think
that people are dumb and we're just forcing the like good ship. Oh yeah,
dude, you wonder where the Biden votes came from. It's people that
watch the Mass. I mean, like, dude, we've seen these people
blowing up and stand up. God bless them. I'm happy for them.
But man, they're these these jokes that are blowing up on Instagram are so
dumb. Oh have you heard this, Jason? So Sam is going after
this next special? Sam is changing directions and going like more family or yeah,
I'm going, what's up with my kids? Like seriously, stop he's
doing would be doing stuff? Yeah all this second, like an inner city
black father. Yeah, family matters. It's me all right, guys,
I gotta go go to stamps to me dot Com, grab tickets. I
want to start doing punch Shrunk on the regular. We just gotta figure out
the top. Yeah, all right, guys, thank you, goodbye,
buddy, see you later. That was Sam Triple a loser dude, fucking
trying to pretend that he won the Fantasy Basketball It's supothetic, am I right?
This is the ninth time we've had this argument. There's only one way
for you guys to settle it. If it really bothers him. You know
that it bothers him so much everything bothers him. The only way you can
really settle this is sixty nine in each other and then whoever fucking taps first
is the champ. Yeah. Man, the other day, because I did
a stupid thumbnail on like a Twitter post that was like just a like a
little child's drawing of he was like at the mic, you know, with
it like talking like this, holding the mic, and so I just made
it like a little dick, you know, but in like a child like
in red you know, crayon basically, and he's like, take that stupid
picture down. So what I didn't. Look what I did, hold on.
What I did was he doesn't like being the butts of jokes. No,
no he doesn't, but never he does all those roasts. He doesn't.
Uh no, yeah, he's sensitive. Look look what I put him
instead. Though. It's funny. I was like, all right, you
want me to take it down, I'll just put this up. I just
split it out. Yeah. Now it looks like he's just actually blowing some
guy. I'm starting to think that the Falcons need a coaching change. I
mean, I don't get they're ahead of the Panthers, but not by a
ton. I mean they're equally fucked. I would say, in some ways,
I just totally assume what they're doing. Man, you got Bijon,
you draft this guy first with your fucking six picks. Should yeah, they
should? He gets about ten times if game offensive with running backs. They
had two good running backs the NFL and rushing if it wasn't for the Bears.
And then the reason the Bears got more rushing yards in the Falcons because
their quarterback had a thousand yards. It was hit them and the Falcons you're
doing. They had extra six hundred yards more than us because their their quarterback
ran for a thousand yards. You're dealing with riddle right, Well, you
know the writing's on the wall. Done, no worried? Yes, can
he throw the can? He pushed the ball down the field. Have you
ever seen him do The game looks too fast? Yes, I have seen
him do it. The game looks too fast. The game is too fast
for because every time that box score or see him play his stats, he's
like twenty eight of forty for one hundred and thirty yards. I mean,
it's it's got the weirdest just a weirdest signs. He does it the weirdest.
Lines, leads the NFL and turnovers. He's got six fumbles, six
interceptions and like five to pass sis fumbles. Damn, that's bad yeah,
bad. Two of them were on him on the stat line, but you
one could argue it was the center's fault. It was a snap exchange twice
one time. He those guys who do that do that, you know what
I mean, it's just even though it's even though it's and over again.
Yeah, one hundred percent. Not making excuses whatsoever, none of that.
But I was just saying, but so, you know, he reminds me
of honestly, it's a little bit, a little bit of a little bit
of Donald. He's kind of got that, you know, like just got
more confident in the headlights. I would have more confidence in Donald than and
you know Heinigy. I mean like now then you go, well, okay,
is Heiniky your fucking guy? Ahe in the future. No, he's
okay, but he's he's a solid as hell backup. He's like if you
gotta yeah, he's like, he's like like the poor man's Ryan Fitzpatrick is
what he's like, which is the poor man's uh, you know, Tom
Brady or something. But sure, sure, sure, yeah, one hundred
percent. I get you on that. So we'll see, Man, I
guess we're playing I don't I don't remember we're fucking playing this weekend. The
crazy thing is our fucking division is so shitty that you guys still have a
chance if you can figure it out all there could be a nine and eight
team win that division and have a home playoff game against like a fucking eleven
and sixteen. I'm gonna be so pissed if Baker Mayfield wins the division after
he shipped the bed so hard in Carolina. I mean, if he had
played just this well last year, he'd probably still be the quarterback and we'd
be waiting for Drake may and the kid by the way, do you see
I want to ask Sam about this. Did you see how what did you
think of the kid from USC Williams? Like he se bawling in his parents'
arms after that? That was weird, right, wasn't that a little weird?
It was weird? Hey man, Sometimes you have a telling that,
I mean, I'm sure on the field, though, you go do that
behind the scenes. He came back to win. He didn't come back to
uh do anything other than get a heisman and win a national championship. And
now they look like shit. And that was a very frustrated twenty one year
old boy. It's funny, dude, the wheels fell off of North Carolina
and USC at the exact same time. I knew USC wasn't US. USC
was a paper Tiger, and so was Notre Dame. There's a lot of
these teams that was North Carolina. I mean they, I mean, I
can tell from the beginning of the defense. Is Colorado as well? Colorado
was fine, they just don't have the Yeah, Colorado does not have the
fucking front trenches Colorado needs. Yeah, and they look so good those Colorado
looks so good those first few games. Dude. But hey, you know,
but but you know what would be fucking super fun is some uh Colorado
Notre Dame fucking New Year's Day Bowl game. There's a there's a lot of
fun bowl games Colorado could. They could pair it up and some of the
ratings will be hell of a lot better than a fucking Washington and Uh,
but I think this college football is going to come down to a good I
mean, Washington's good, Florida State's good, Uh, Michigan's good. I
think Ohio State and Georgia are beatable. I'll say that. Yeah. No,
this isn't more Open year than we've had one of those guys, because
I think Oregon's goddamn tough as fuck too. That their only loss was that
heartbreak of a game against Washington, which was the game of the year.
So it's college football is gonna come down and be wishing. Makes you wish
we had that that twelve team playoff we're going to have next year because two
years yea or two years yeah, man, it would be so good this
year. Did you watch in Ghanu and fucking Fury? Not until, I
mean, not not live, but I watch it later. Yeah it was.
Uh, it was surprisingly surprisingly good. Do you think in Ghana one?
I didn't, but I thought you could easily have it even Yeah,
I mean it was Tyson Fury did himself no fake. He clearly didn't take
it seriously anytime. He's got that huge gut, you know, he didn't
take it seriously, and he didn't take it seriously. I had I had
it as a just about a draw in my opinion. I think that's about
right. But definitely, Uh, wasn't the whip down? A lot of
people thought nope, I nope, And I really thought it would just be
Tyson Fury keeping him on the end of a jab the whole time. But
that's not that's not what he was trying to do and that's not what happened.
And Ghanu dude has a future in boxing if he wants it, I
think, don't you. Yeah, maybe a little too late in his life
to be starting to but I mean, like, if he wants to have
what I mean by that is, if he wants to go out with a
few huge money fights against name guys in the heavyweight division, he could do
that for sure. I mean, I'm excited for this Nate Diez fucking choke
out that he's gonna have on fucking much his face. Wait, I don't
know what you're talking about. What is this? You know? Nate?
Oh, they're having a rematch with the fucking Paul what's the name Paul brother?
What's his name? Jake Paul? Jake Paul and Nate are having a
rematch. But this one is this one isn't boxing. It's m m A.
Are you serious? He's going to kill him, isn't he? I
know it's gonna be great. He's getting and it's a ten million dollar perse
forum. He said, just what are the rules? It's basically UFC rules.
Is that? What is that's right? Oh, he's this is gonna
be great when now, Oh that's great. Look it up, look it
up. It's like in December, maybe late December. Maybe, I don't
know, all right. James Nay Diaz tweeted it and said, since nobody
else will fight you, I'll beat your fucking ass. Yes, Jake Paul
accepts offer for m M A fight versus Nate Diaz. Won't do boxing rematch,
he says, all right. Jake Paul's made it clearly no interest in
meeting Nate Diaz in the boxing ring again, but he is prepared to face
him in the MMA cage. Paul's Most Valuable Promotions announced on Monday that he
has rejected his offer for a boxing rematch, but accepted an offer from PFL
for an MMA fight against the former UFA UFC star. All right, wow,
good, I want it. What's the dates? I think it has
the date? Well, the tweet doesn't have a date. Johnny, did
you and your girlfriend have some fucking, seriously fucking nasty, fucking sex for
Halloween? She dressed up like a little fucking god. Damn. No,
Honestly, we didn't do anything. We were going to go see the Shining
but she got a bleeder and uh we did nothing. Oh she went as
a cunt for Halloween. Yeah she wasn't had no offense, no, no,
no, no, no, none. Taking she's probably I could see
you getting into like if she dressed up like a donkey on Shrek and he's
just like, you're like the fucking that fucking gingerbread man, fucking guy from
one of those movies, and you just guy's got the nuts. You're so
stupid. It's been a lot, so much to talk about, dude,
we eighty six. Oh, I thought you asked what I shot today?
When I go, all right, yeah, where'd you play? It's called
Erskin park Erskine, park Erskin Park. Wow, mm hmm, okay,
I love it up to you. I went to a little concert last night,
these smoking hot chicks from England. It's their first tour of the US.
Little English rock and roll band called The Last Dinner Party. Really good.
The lead singer is Oh she's she's very attractive. We saw her at
l Ray Theater. Saw them at l Ray Theater. Good belay. That's
the one kind of mid city park Lebrea in that area. Little theater.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, alright, yeah yeah cool place.
Uh what else going on? Ninety day? Really good? I sent you
guys a little video from this guy Sarper on ninety day he had I saw
my that was the best. Can you play that video? Yeah? My
girl? Uh my girl? Uh like, just show me an Instagram post.
She was like, he's so stupid. And she showed me this thing
of him doing announcing cameo and I was like, how much is this If
it's really cheap, like this could be like the best why I ever spent?
And I went in honest about the price it was. It was twenty
It was twenty five dollars plus seven dollars to get him to do it really
fast, which is what I want because I couldn't wait seven to fifty huge
money, very well spent. Now that here's what the problem is. I
don't know a lot of people other than now. People don't know ninety day
fiance does Jeff Dannis great, wonderful Jeff Dannis fight Nanny, Johnny and his
girlfriend and I, all of our watched this fucking ridiculous night. We forgot
to ask Sam. We didn't have time to ask Sam about it. There's
this on there that's literally the worst fucking guy ye'll ever fucking see. He's
so funny, everything you think about a beach bag. And then this text
thread that we're all in together Jeff Danis and I just can't stop ripping into
this fucking guy. And then Jenny got it. First of all, he
says he slept with over two hundred and fifty two, twenty five hundred women.
His girlfriend won't even sleep in his bed until he gets a new bed
with how many people he's fucking? This crooked ass, the bed boy is
just all just traumatized. Why have you watched the latest episode? Because he
I did see the He claims that he's got like a child that he didn't
even know he does if he's been banging everybody for twenty five hundred people,
and what was the He fucking yeah, he's just an absolute ridiculous guy.
He so they're getting a new mattress and he tells this chick, yo,
yeah, yeah, it's good sex. You'll one argasmic bitch, multiple argasmic
bitch. Right in the fucking mattress story. He tells his chick that so
he she had a lilt sucker in his mouth and her mouth and he snatches
lollipop. He snatches this fucking lollipop out of her mouth and throws it on
the fucking ground. So we've been ripping on this guy for about two weeks
and then Johnny said, this video cameo right here to me and Jeff.
This is good Jason and Jeff. Hey, buddy's a I'm older, the
aware that you have teasing meat. My dance moves, eh, leave me
five under. What does he say right there? My decimals? What I
thought he was talking about his muscles? He wass Let me tell you the
prompt I gave. I told him like, hey, my friends, Jason
Jeff are making fun of you, but I think really they're jealous of your
physique, is what it is. Uh So I was hoping that you could
threaten to come and find them and, you know, slap the lollipops out
of their hands. This is what is what That's what I told him up
and this is what you got from that. Hey, buddy, al,
I'm older, the aware that you have teasing meat. My dance moves,
eh, my decimal twenty five hundred were dying to see those moves, on
theres begging you get Oh, Jerry, pose it. I heard that you
guys were teasing me about my dance moves. What now, I heard that
you guys were teasing me about my dance moves. Believe me, twenty five
hundred were dying to see those more. Oh oh, I thought, Jason,
I just thought you were telling like accusing me and Sam of making fun
of you about something that so I got you dance moves. That's what he
says. That was very hard to understand. Okay, now, James,
heybody's I'm oldly aware that you are teasing my dance moves. The dance moves.
Were dying to see those moves on theres begging you get what I mean?
And this is why they get it. Face. I will be watching
you, guys. The brother is watching you. If I hear it and
that you are talking about me, I will come to your place and take
your lollipops out. Believe me, you don't want to mess with me.
Eyes on you yourself, I love. The best thing is that he made
this like threat homo erotic. I mean to come and take your lollipops out.
He's naked too. Basically, he does have a fantastic I tell him
to do that. I did tell him not to have a shirt on for
this like the should you really? Yeah? You really did? I swear
I told him to do I I I told him he should do a little
uh, like a little stripteas dance. But I told him that you guys
were jealous of his body and probably wanted to see him do a little strips
He's dance, That's what it was. Actually. Uh. I wonder how
much gay ship he gets asked to do like gay men like, well fucking
messed out. I I know of at least one. So if I had
a bodyline and I will say this to compliment this guy, if I had
a body like his, forget about it. I wouldn't own a shirt.
You would have a couple of deck ties. I would have maybe like a
best but yeah, I wouldn't own a shirt, not all. I would
just walk around with no shirt on. You could not I would be like,
you couldn't get me to take my shirt off, I mean, keep
my shirt on. It would just be out all the time. His name
is Did you notice that every person in his family was like Sarper and Herper
and Heper all the sarp one person name was Buddies Buddies. I'm he really
seems like a put on character. Oh dude, I yeah, it's you
couldn't write him though. That's how you know he's real, is that you
just couldn't write a guy as funny as he is. I mean, it's
really sash. Yeah, it's too too much. He's great. He's great,
dude. I hope he's I hope they give him his own show or
something now that defindly Chantelle is going away. Uh, we gotta get him.
I watch her fucking super gigantic kits too. Oh, I haven't seen
the new episode. It was good. Oh it's weird. Yeah, well
they're like divorcing now right, Oh it's bad. What's it about. I
mean, it's about exactly that they're splitting up the house. Was it good?
You made it sound like it wasn't good. I just mean it's a
bad situation. It's not like anything good about it. But you know,
her family is crazy. He's a fucking I almost feel bad for him,
you really almost do almost feel bad for oh ude, because he was I
mean, he was up with that family from the start. Her family is
real bad and this ship. They're fucking real, fucking mean, well,
they're all going to be like I told you so, right because they didn't
like him from a jump. They hated that. Yeah. Now they're trying
to get him kicked out of the country all this mean shit. Oh really
yeah yeah, yeah right, he's got a job and everything. They can't
get that guy. And he's got like a real he's really good at his
job. When it seems like I bet he's just crushing fucking twats. Boom
ba boom ba boom. Dude. I'm pumped to go see these guys down
in India. It's gonna be fun. I'm going to John Mayer on front.
Oh yeah, before him. Yeah, I bet that's pretty good.
He's fucking pretty guy. Yeah. I like him. I you know,
he's he kind of grew up, you know, he's like one of these
guys who grew up as a musician, you know, like evolved. I
like him and like as a person too. He seems like a nice Like
when he started coming run the comedy store, he was well past being famous,
you know, he had been famous for fucking fifteen. It was long
after, you know, and I think he worked out all of his crazy
hollywould be a fucking fuck boy shit. And by the time he was hanging
on the commersar, he was just like a fucking cool guy. So I
think he kind of matured a lot of ways musically and just as a fucking
person. Yeah, I mean I have too, I would say, especially
music. I feel like I've evolved, you know. I mean, you
can't stay in one place. You've got to You're like a shark, you
know, you gotta keep moving forward. Musically, you gotta evolve your ideas.
You gotta you know, you say you start out acoustic, you got
to bring some electric guitars. And it doesn't matter what your fans say,
you know whatever, whatever, just listen to. I just listened to a
one song over and over and over. That's it, is it? The
theme for the Mickey Mouse Club is that it no, it's happy birthday to
you, and then we can't listen to it's rights free, so we just
listen. Oh no, actually it doesn't. Somebody have like the rights to
I believe that's true, or somebody wrote it. I mean, somebody had
to write it. That's the worst, that the birthday thing is the worst.
What do you mean like that somebody has the rights to that. Let
me see, it's probably in the US, Okay. I think that's when
you're let's say you're a dinner, a bunch of fucking fifty ten people eight
percent dinner for your birthday or whatever, fuck, and you know the bill
or whatever, and then someone's like, hey, it's somebody's fuckings fit and
then they were like happy and you're like, oh, fuck, having seven
people sing at you is the fucking words because you just got to sit there
while all these people sing this fucking stupid tongue. Oh you know what the
truth is, Warner Chappell kept trying to enforce the copyright and then they were
made to pay back fourteen million dollars to people that they made to pay royalties,
and now it's public domain as of twenty sixteen. But yeah, they
were trying to enforce it up to twenty sixteen. The happy Birthday song?
Wasn't that so stupid? Yeah, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
That is the dumbest. That's almost as dumb as Sam saying you won the
fantasy football league. I would say basketball, Yeah, the fantasy basketball Yeah,
sorryah, equally stupid to say you wont the football play. Yeah,
I beat Kareem this week. I'm doing pretty good. I forgot. I
thought basketball didn't start till next because with the draft was late, I didn't
think it starts till next So I drew because I forgot set my fucking line
up. I didn't have three guys in the starting lineup all week. One
night, I fucked myself. One night, I was two guys I could
have got in that I didn't get in, and I was like, God,
damn it, just because it was this week. I was so stupid.
I forgot. I just forgot. No, I just fucking try to
set it for fucking days in advance. Yeah I do. I just do
the week on Monday usually, Yeah, exactly. And I don't think my
team's gonna be good. I got too many centers. I just it just
ended up in the draft because I had the last pick, you know,
and uh, it's too many centers. And the draft kind of went weird
because we had a few people who weren't there and they were on auto draft.
Uh, and so it yeah, it was. It was a weird
one. Anyway, what uh what day is that again? The show Saturday?
That's a big Saturday. Yeah, it's like twenty five hundred. I
would say, Wow, that's cool, that's fair. Yeah, I'm just
I'm literally like I said, I mean, I won't go a minute over
sixty. So you're sixteen minutes, you're real type, don't sixty minutes.
And I told them, like me at like fifty five minutes, and I'll
go into my thirty minute closer, which is that big bag pipe number when
you and you're not going to deny them an encore if they ask for it,
right, I mean, if they're loving the bagpipes and I'm feeling it
because I've never played the bagpipes, what if I'm like fucking badass at it?
So yeah, if they're feeling it and they won't want me to go
another fucking thirty forty fifth, you know whatever? Yeah, all right,
wouldn't you even go so far as to guess that you will be great at
it? Jason at bagpipes, I have a feeling well in the room that
big, it might be hard for me to tell if they're into it or
not. So I'm just gonna go, yeah, they're into it, and
I'm yeah, So I'm just gonna do tight sixty right in a thirty minute
closer, bang out another you know, whatever they want to thirty I mean
that's what you should have. No regard for the audience anyway, don't even
look at them, you know, just keep keep going, keep playing the
backpipes, knowing that deep down it's what I need. I'll know, Yeah,
I'll have, I'll know. It'll just be a feeling, I think,
and then and then yeah, big closer and then right in in the
fucking encore, and then ladies and gentlemen fear. Everybody's wanting to know.
And I'm getting questions on the chat already. Are you gonna wear underwear to
this? Are you gonna wear underwear? What are you thinking? Uh?
Probably? Will they stay on? That's a real good question there. Yes,
I'm gonna go yes, because you always worry about shitting your pants,
because that's part of my you know, my right in the middle of my
act, I did this fucking kind of like my pants, saying well,
that's it. I mean, come on, you know that's cutting out humor
there, Jason. You got to do your ship your pants. But people
don't know I need them, yeah, because they are. You can't you
can't do it. Jason Tebow show without the ship your pants bit, people
were riot exactly because and you know that's my opener, because you know what,
right there, your shock, You're like, whoa, what can he
do that? What could he possibly do now that his pants are full of
shit? If you start your fucking It's what I'm saying. This is all
I'm getting at. If you are doing let's say, two hour show,
like I'm doing just a quick too right before, already does this fucking skits.
Yeah, yeah, I go on. If you're doing a two hour
fucking show, you started the ship in your pants and you end that thing
with a fifty five minute bagpipe fucking situation. Man, they're gonna talk and
well, that'll be something that everybody you know, you know how you have
these events where you know, the venues held let's say like twenty five hundred
people, but then twenty years from now, they're like forty thousand people who
were like I was there when Jason tebou shit his pants and played the background.
That's what that's going to be like it is, it feels like it
right now that that's what we're kind of heading towards. If you want to
be in Indiana if you want to be at that I bought. I promise
you this, hands down, this is the funniest, the funniest comedy show
in indian app in the state of Indiana, maybe even the entire Midwest,
could be the whole world, but definitely maybe in the whole Midwest. This
Saturday is O'Neil ren. It's easy Ari myself. Maybe we'll get Maybe we'll
get puke is easy to throw up. We get him to throw up live
on stage. That would be fucking fantastic. I would love that. Bring
him out to hold the bagpipe, maybe while you shoot yourself and then you
could have vombit. That would be good. I'm not against any of it.
I'm not against any of it. So it also if you are in
Indianapolis area and you're coming to this show, this is very important. Bring
bagpipes if you know anybody that has bagpipes, or even if you could just
make semi working bagpipes, because I don't have anybody. Really is no spoiler
alert, but it's a part I need it for the show. Uh My
high school you know is uh the Fighting Scots Because most of the Scotland County
it was founded by like Highland Scott's and the bagpipe was like the fight song,
you know it was. It's the worst noise. And you know,
I love you if you're listening to this in your big bagpipe fan or your
player, what I'm good. Good for you. But it is the I
don't it's the fucking So. Do you ever go to like a wedding or
a funeral or something and there's a bagpipes that are going You must it was
your high school thing. Yeah, no, I heard. It's the worst.
I don't hate it, honestly, I got used to it, but
yeah, it's it is abrasive, it is a it is as an assault
on the ears. I will say that, just so many different noises coming
out of that one little bag of pipes. Yeah, sounds like it hurts.
It sounds like it's hurting music. So the music that hurts really all
right? All right, Jenny, I'm gonna go get something to eat.
I love you guys, guys coming to the show this week. Go get
Sam's comic book going, Go check out Sam Schell's and go to Ari the
Great or Ari Shafir dot com and check out his aut He's in like a
fucking New City every other fucking day. It's amazing. So he's coming somewhere
near you. And uh again, is he doing any podcast? I know
he quit, you know, skeptic thanking and then he was supposed to be
doing a travel thing, but I don't think he is. I think he's
shooting stuff. I don't know what he's doing. He's crazy, this guy
to be podcasting. I wish he was a podcasting. He's always working on
something, but hey, maybe I'll find out what it is this Saturday.
Guys, this has been punch drunk and once again, enjoy your life and
suck it. What did they think? Every Girl's my girlfriend, Every Girl's
my girlfriend, every good. It has disturbed me how much Sam loved this
song. The ans was like, yeah, special mege, what am I
saying? Doobby stop? Just let it rock. These are kids we're supporting
now. If you are, if you're a drum puncher, bye bye on
the problem. If you want to find this h and by it the kids
with knee high Let's get busy is the name of the album. Every Girl's
My Girlfriend, Every Girl's my girlfriend. I'm gonna make I'm gonna put this
to vote. Should this be the new punch drunk theme. I