WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.400
The opinions expressed by Chayo Busquets are
supported by his extensive experience as a family

2
00:00:06.839 --> 00:00:12.400
therapist and in the previous analysis of
the cases presented here welcome. This is

3
00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:18.920
Chayo with you. In jewels.
We begin very good afternoon to everyone as

4
00:00:19.039 --> 00:00:24.440
I am Chayo Busquets, this Chayo
with you and we are ready to start

5
00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:29.320
today' s program. We'
re going to have a program that I

6
00:00:29.320 --> 00:00:34.359
' ve already started announcing to you
since last week and I already have it

7
00:00:34.359 --> 00:00:37.679
on social media today. I put
them there, then, that we'

8
00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:42.960
re going to have this program and
I' m especially happy to have this

9
00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:53.920
program on a holiday, because it' s going to allow these women who

10
00:00:54.079 --> 00:01:00.960
are either pregnant or wanting to get
pregnant, or they' ve just given

11
00:01:00.039 --> 00:01:02.560
birth or not so recently, but
they just don' t feel good.

12
00:01:03.799 --> 00:01:07.480
Today we' re going to talk
a little bit about it and that they

13
00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:14.519
can be accompanied with their family,
with their partner, so that they can

14
00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:15.439
get acquainted with everything we' re
going to talk about today. Because,

15
00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:22.640
in fact, many times in pregnancy
or postpartum delivery, there are many symptoms,

16
00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:27.760
from physical to emotional, that we
don' t just know where to

17
00:01:29.319 --> 00:01:32.840
accommodate and that sometimes can even give
pity, can give guilt because what happened.

18
00:01:32.879 --> 00:01:36.760
If I wanted to have this beautiful
and wonderful creature and now it turns

19
00:01:36.879 --> 00:01:38.319
out that I don' t jump
from emotion, what happens to me.

20
00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:42.120
Well, let' s talk about
all this. She is with us the

21
00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:49.200
psychologist and doctor in psychology, Tania
Villanueva, and I especially thank her for

22
00:01:49.239 --> 00:01:53.079
coming to participate here with us,
because she is a survivor of depression and

23
00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:59.439
postpartum anxiety. It sounds to them, they have heard it, it approached

24
00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:01.400
them, or or or at some
point in their lives. Well, that

25
00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:05.000
' s what we' re talking
about today. So Tania, welcome Hi,

26
00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:08.240
chayo. Thank you very much and
thank you for the invitation and this

27
00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:13.560
opportunity. No, thanks to you, and most of all, I appreciate

28
00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:17.000
your sharing. Since I asked him
how I' m going to introduce you,

29
00:02:17.319 --> 00:02:22.719
he told me as a survivor of
depression and postpartum anxiety, and that

30
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:28.680
I thank you immensely, because I
think he already gives a door along with

31
00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:32.400
the profession that you have and that
you do a little bit of that and

32
00:02:32.439 --> 00:02:38.240
here we' re going to talk
about it today. What the hell is

33
00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:45.039
depression of anxiety is invented by the
chiptile moms who just gave birth and want

34
00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:49.400
attention what a very good question you
look at. Usually the term postpartum pressure

35
00:02:49.439 --> 00:02:53.039
is used to encompass as a bunch
of as you said symptoms or manifestations of

36
00:02:53.120 --> 00:03:00.639
discomfort in moms who have just had
a baby u. These can actually be

37
00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:06.879
because of a hormonal issue. The
first two weeks. It' s usually

38
00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:10.319
a matter of hormones. Not where
a change is not known eh as drastic

39
00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:15.719
in the whole life of the human
being as the one that occurs in pregnancy

40
00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:21.080
and with the hormonal change in the
postpartum. So, well, the first

41
00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:23.759
few weeks, there' s an
upset there, and that, as you

42
00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:28.199
say, not being Chippy, they
don' t cry so much. Not

43
00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:32.840
the first two weeks can be part
of this adaptation like our body, not

44
00:03:32.919 --> 00:03:38.479
to that hormonal change, but sometimes
that of that sadness, that desire to

45
00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:46.039
cry a lot bad humor. There
may also be little desire to do things,

46
00:03:46.120 --> 00:03:50.360
not as if this one felt super
tired, that good. Besides,

47
00:03:50.520 --> 00:03:55.639
of course there' s a lot
physically, but there' s something in

48
00:03:55.719 --> 00:03:59.479
this tiredness that' s a little
different. Not then all of this has

49
00:03:59.560 --> 00:04:04.280
been called postpartum do and depression and
can be as a sadness and as a

50
00:04:04.360 --> 00:04:11.879
discouragement, but it can also be
anxiety, a constant over- concern about

51
00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:15.360
any issue that has to do with
the baby, about hygiene, for example,

52
00:04:15.839 --> 00:04:20.920
at home and around what the child
occupies. Anyway, there' s

53
00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:26.199
like a lot of going. You
can go for a bunch of ice creams

54
00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:31.079
and say technically they have different names, they' re not different diagnoses,

55
00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:33.879
but they' ve been covered a
lot, like in postpartum depression. But

56
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:41.319
there may be anxiety, there may
be an obsessive compulsive disorder in rare cases.

57
00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:46.199
But if there are registered, there' s postpartum psychosis, anyway,

58
00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:49.800
there' s a variety of that
there' s being there is and we

59
00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:54.199
' ll talk about it. But
you jumped rather. I jumped in with

60
00:04:54.279 --> 00:04:58.920
my question straight to childbirth. No
and to this postpartum and depression or postpartum

61
00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:02.399
anxiety a little, so you shared
with me since you arrived another little,

62
00:05:02.680 --> 00:05:11.519
because it is what is most familiarly
heard, that comes to pass. But

63
00:05:12.879 --> 00:05:16.959
that' s not how it starts. Birth starts by getting you pregnant,

64
00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:23.720
let' s go back to pregnancy
and it' s normal and it'

65
00:05:23.720 --> 00:05:27.480
s not normal. When if anyone
has to say this thing here that'

66
00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:30.920
s happening, I need to see
what' s going on. That'

67
00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:34.759
s also a big question and I
also like how you connect not postpartum.

68
00:05:34.879 --> 00:05:40.399
But of course, before there was
something and although we know a lot about

69
00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:44.439
postpartum depression, or it is the
one that is most commonly talked about when

70
00:05:44.519 --> 00:05:50.120
there is depression, postpartum in pregnancy
there were already the first signs of emotional

71
00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:56.439
discomfort, which are generally overlooked.
Okay. Then it is expected to say

72
00:05:56.480 --> 00:06:01.040
embraces are more sensitive, not that
there is as an easier cry, that

73
00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:06.560
situations are lived as more emotionally intensely. And so, uh, that'

74
00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:10.639
s considered normal. Not then,
oh, well, it' s the

75
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:12.319
hormones. Oh, well, it' s the baby' s emotion.

76
00:06:12.439 --> 00:06:15.920
Oh, well, that' s
the way it goes, not that it

77
00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:25.680
' s women and their hormones that
we culturally even evaluate quite aha eh,

78
00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:30.680
but if the discomfort, it often
starts eh since pregnancy and the way we

79
00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:33.920
can see how this is no longer
very normal. This is no longer the

80
00:06:33.959 --> 00:06:39.839
cry of I' m very sensitive. It' s not when, for

81
00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:45.680
example, I start to lose my
taste for my activities, uh, not

82
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:50.959
that I used to get a lot
of anxieties all the pleasure, when I

83
00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:55.079
have little energy, when I start
to sleep badly, let' s not

84
00:06:55.079 --> 00:06:57.439
talk later. That' s why
you' ve already conquered me, of

85
00:06:57.519 --> 00:07:02.879
course, you have to sleep and
sleep well. Or we' re back

86
00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:10.319
here in Chayo with you and talking
to Dr Tania Villanueva. She is a

87
00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:15.439
doctor in psychology and expert in all
these things of pregnancy, postpartum and so

88
00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:27.560
on, and we had started to
talk Tania about this as a context of

89
00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:31.040
how suddenly the discomforts begin and when
the discomforts are no longer normal discomforts,

90
00:07:31.160 --> 00:07:33.079
because it seems that you are pregnant. And then you have to put up

91
00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:36.240
with everything. Don' t hold
it all, because it' s pregnancy.

92
00:07:36.759 --> 00:07:44.360
It doesn' t become the easy
answer to be giving him jef and

93
00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:53.439
I would even tell you when you
said well, we started with because I

94
00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:55.519
did it saying good before postpartum,
there was labor. Let' s go

95
00:07:55.519 --> 00:07:59.519
back. Right now you mentioned these
as comments. That' s where they

96
00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:01.279
' re some of the women.
It' s women' s hormones.

97
00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:07.680
There is some connection between the premenstrual
syndrome that many women suffer and how it

98
00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:13.279
will go in pregnancy. Then you
have nothing to do with it, yes

99
00:08:13.519 --> 00:08:16.759
and it' s not like a
direct complan relationship. But it has been

100
00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:24.279
seen that those who present as more
discomfort in the premonstral phases, premenstrual history,

101
00:08:24.079 --> 00:08:30.959
if they are people who can be
as more susceptible in the psychological emotional

102
00:08:31.079 --> 00:08:37.960
part to hormonal changes and then present
later this m ok yes, what about

103
00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:45.240
it, with the pregnancy, then
there is. Yes, there are physical

104
00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:52.080
and emotional discomforts, either one or
the other or both. Or it'

105
00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:56.200
s a rule. It' s
not a rule. And something I like

106
00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:00.639
to say a lot every time I
talk about this topic, how good to

107
00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:03.519
me if it means a lot to
me. But it is how we are

108
00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:09.320
also forgotten that every story and every
woman and every pregnancy is also different,

109
00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:16.519
what we live, different. Then
we can' t just assume that if

110
00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:18.639
one thing comes up there' s
gonna be another. Or what every circumstance

111
00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:24.960
in which a pregnancy occurs moves different
things into a woman' s mind,

112
00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:31.559
into her emotions, and into the
circumstances that are surrounding also everything that is

113
00:09:31.639 --> 00:09:35.840
happening with her working life, as
a couple and so on and, if

114
00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:41.039
well, the most common discomforts of
pregnancy, especially when it is the first

115
00:09:41.159 --> 00:09:48.480
case not when she is the first
baby to have a woman. Eh what

116
00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:52.559
is usually presented is a lot of
worry, there is a lot of anguish

117
00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:56.879
and again there is a normal part
where Í m ejaculating you, because

118
00:09:58.120 --> 00:10:03.039
Í m facing something very big
for the first time and Í m

119
00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:05.799
nervous, no, but theré
s another part where this concern can,

120
00:10:05.960 --> 00:10:11.639
for example, as I told you
a long time ago, take away your

121
00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:16.360
sleep, that is, you may
start spending all day with a thought that

122
00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:20.759
we can say obsessive, not or
it́ s very repetitive, very constant,

123
00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:26.720
that doesń t let you think
much about other things or about everything

124
00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:28.879
that can happen no, and theý re usually thoughts that go towards the

125
00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:31.240
negative, not like catastrophic scenarios.
Let' s say not that such that

126
00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:35.320
something goes wrong in childbirth, how
about that right now something that I'

127
00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:39.840
m doing is wrong for my baby
that such that my emotions at the moment

128
00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:46.200
are causing, uh a damage not
to my son how much so that I

129
00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:52.600
' m not going to make a
good mom, that such that it changes

130
00:10:52.679 --> 00:10:56.320
a lot the relationship with my husband, because already from now on I notice

131
00:10:56.440 --> 00:10:58.919
that things start to be different,
that such that they don' t help

132
00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:05.159
me, that such that at work
I don' t fuck myself there are

133
00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:07.279
a lot of things and I tell
you a part, those concerns are very

134
00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:11.039
valid. But when they already start
to do something that they don' t

135
00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:16.360
let you enjoy the rest of the
pregnancy, you can' t live it

136
00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:22.679
also from the beauty of this transformation, because we can already start thinking perhaps

137
00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:28.159
to someone who would like to approach
a therapeutic environment where he works, what

138
00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:31.519
is all that that is moving him. No, what' s going out

139
00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:37.360
there and the part of the dream
I' m going to say again,

140
00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:41.799
because stopping sleeping can be at the
end. Above all, it is said

141
00:11:41.799 --> 00:11:46.240
well, pregnant women stop sleeping in
a hurry, because the position is already

142
00:11:46.279 --> 00:11:50.559
comfortable. The body such, but
there is something that is also the head.

143
00:11:50.679 --> 00:11:52.440
I mean, I' m thinking
all the time. I feel like

144
00:11:52.559 --> 00:12:00.279
I' m very active all the
time mentally and I can' t figure

145
00:12:00.279 --> 00:12:03.120
out how to turn off that head
activity. And that is already another of

146
00:12:03.159 --> 00:12:09.000
these signs. And for the most
important reason that we should attend to that

147
00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:15.440
as soon as possible is because also
the lack of sleep is a very strong

148
00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:22.759
factor in presenting later also depression and
postpartum anxiety ok is that, like everything,

149
00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:28.639
we are discovering how one thing is
related to another in our history process.

150
00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:35.120
We' re going back with more
of this and we' re also

151
00:12:37.320 --> 00:12:39.279
going to talk back from nothing else. We' re worried. There'

152
00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:45.919
s a reality if things could happen
for this little guy and you have to

153
00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:50.039
take precautions. I say one that
comes to mind a lot is often folic

154
00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:54.960
acid, for example, we'
re not going to talk about that too.

155
00:12:54.240 --> 00:13:01.320
You' re properly taking care of
everything you have to attend to,

156
00:13:01.879 --> 00:13:07.360
what we have to be with on
this good Earrings. With regard to the

157
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:15.320
growth and development of the baby,
yes, we need to have adequate,

158
00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:20.519
balanced feeding. Now there is also
a topic with this new forms of feeding,

159
00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:24.879
but well, proteins, for example, in pregnancy you need a lot

160
00:13:26.039 --> 00:13:31.480
of good fat protein consumption. Not
that also helps the development of the baby

161
00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:39.240
' s brain. Em we need
to go periodically to doctor' s consultations

162
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:43.879
and when there are, for example, contractions ahead of time. Some are

163
00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:50.000
normal, but also depending on the
intensity and frequency n degrees if there were

164
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:56.559
bleeding. And all these things are
and indicators that we have to always keep

165
00:13:56.559 --> 00:14:00.120
in mind, not when the baby
is already moving and we feel it good,

166
00:14:00.279 --> 00:14:03.960
when we already feel it, because
they can move from more or less

167
00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:09.840
soon, but when we can already
feel it being no longer super pending every

168
00:14:11.080 --> 00:14:16.039
second, but if you have a
normal rhythm of usually moving a little bit

169
00:14:16.039 --> 00:14:20.480
in the evenings, then be aware
that this continues to happen to the extent

170
00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:24.799
that it has happened for us previously
and when it has not, then,

171
00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:33.480
yes, it is important to call
the specialist gynecologist asnos orienta you coordinate a

172
00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:37.639
talk group of this. Yeah,
and I coordinate a circle of moms,

173
00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:43.519
mom circles, Tuesdays is a day
a week. We do it in a

174
00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:48.200
virtual way and the idea is that
women who are pregnant or in the postpartum

175
00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:54.720
period can meet with other women who
are in these stages as well and talk

176
00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:58.679
about how they are doing, their
experience, with these changes, with everything

177
00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:03.399
they are living, how they feel
about the family, the couple, friends.

178
00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:09.519
Sometimes they like to hear the cute
part. I don' t feel

179
00:15:09.639 --> 00:15:11.919
super happy. I' m so
excited. I' m very excited and

180
00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:16.919
that' s a very important part, not in the maternity project, but

181
00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.799
there may also be days that I
feel so distressed about bad, uh,

182
00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:28.759
I don' t know, uh, a little nervous, worried when there

183
00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:31.440
' s some discomfort. That is
very difficult to communicate to anyone, not

184
00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:37.600
even health personnel, for example,
gynecologist, gynecologist no. Sometimes they are

185
00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:41.720
very focused on the body part,
no, and when a mom tries to

186
00:15:41.159 --> 00:15:46.519
communicate from the emotional part, they
don' t always know how to respond

187
00:15:46.519 --> 00:15:50.960
to this. Then women, when
they begin to have this, this other

188
00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:56.399
experience that is not expected, because
they can feel very alone and very guilty.

189
00:15:56.480 --> 00:15:58.639
Not what' s happening to me, because I feel this. Maybe

190
00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:03.799
there' s something wrong with me, no, and circles help us listen

191
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:07.600
to other women who can say don' t look. We' ve all

192
00:16:07.919 --> 00:16:11.480
felt that way at some point.
That' s how it went for me.

193
00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:15.360
I was able to solve it this
way and what I do in the

194
00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:18.679
Group is not only eh, because
allowing this contact between them and the support

195
00:16:18.840 --> 00:16:25.960
that they can give themselves if we
do not also work relaxation tools, not

196
00:16:26.039 --> 00:16:33.440
strategies with breathing, and also e
and make us expectations more real, because

197
00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:37.360
many times part of the discomfort comes
from the idealization of motherhood in magic,

198
00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:44.639
the exact magic. So much we
can land in our reality and in our

199
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:51.679
circumstances this new event and e and
well, because we go together, not

200
00:16:51.799 --> 00:16:56.639
as walking the path of motherhood,
together that becomes much richer, much more

201
00:16:56.759 --> 00:17:03.600
full, with less guilt, with
less sense of loneliness. These are precious

202
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:07.640
experiences. Yes, and above all
I' m thinking about whether this is

203
00:17:08.079 --> 00:17:12.960
an ordinary pregnancy and it can generate
all those suspicions in our treacherous mind.

204
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:19.759
Now I don' t even want
to think if you had an unwanted pregnancy,

205
00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:25.519
if you had a pregnancy outside the
time when your family was waiting for

206
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:30.279
you, not if your partner didn' t answer the question and you stayed

207
00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:33.279
as a single mother. Let'
s do it. How useful it can

208
00:17:34.279 --> 00:17:41.160
be to have an echo in a
group like the one you coordinate. I

209
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:48.880
have the phone here for whatsapp or
call in case they' re interested in

210
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:52.960
this group you' re talking about. Tania is called mom' s circles

211
00:17:53.039 --> 00:18:02.240
and the phone is fifty- six, thirty- seven eight, zero eight,

212
00:18:03.000 --> 00:18:07.519
forty- one fifty- six,
thirty- seven, eight, zero

213
00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:10.519
eight, forty- one. I' m going to put it on social

214
00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:17.319
networks too so that everyone has access
to the phone and you don' t

215
00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:18.799
lose anything because, besides everything,
I have extraordinary news for you. It

216
00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:25.559
' s free. They are groups
that meet in a virtual way. You

217
00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:27.880
don' t have a problem with
distance. You can do it from your

218
00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:33.559
cell phone, from your computer.
The thing that best suits you and Tania

219
00:18:34.519 --> 00:18:40.839
is the one in front. So
we' re going to ask you back

220
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:44.880
to talk to us a little bit
more about this subject so you can just

221
00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:59.279
give yourself an animated Tania. I' m pregnant. I' m in

222
00:18:59.319 --> 00:19:03.880
labor I' ve got the best
of things I can. They spend those

223
00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:07.319
fifteen days that you told us about
at the beginning of the program, where

224
00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:12.440
what may be a mismatch as a
result of our body being accommodated and adapting

225
00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:17.640
to the fact that once again we
are no more, not two, but

226
00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:23.079
they follow the symptoms and I don' t feel well anymore, no,

227
00:19:23.880 --> 00:19:33.160
no more physically emotionally and I don' t want to even imagine that anxiety

228
00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:37.400
that must give of then not that
the creature was going to be the happiest

229
00:19:37.480 --> 00:19:41.640
woman in the world and besides I
was going to give myself identity because I

230
00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:45.680
am a mother, no and women
or we are mothers to many people yet

231
00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:52.119
or we are nothing. And then
it turns out that I don' t

232
00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:56.720
feel that instinctive love, not that
they say it exists. So the first

233
00:19:56.880 --> 00:20:02.559
thing is whether or not there is
that absolute love for the baby and second,

234
00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:08.200
what happens when a woman starts to
feel that way? Look, I

235
00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:15.599
like this question a lot too.
There' s no such love is not

236
00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:21.200
instinctive, the love for the baby
is not eh, because it came out

237
00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:23.839
of my body. Then I love
him forever is, like all human relationships,

238
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:30.480
something that needs to be built.
It' s a very, very

239
00:20:30.680 --> 00:20:33.119
particular relationship that doesn' t look
like the others, because, in fact,

240
00:20:33.720 --> 00:20:37.480
how we bond with the idea of
that person who' s coming and

241
00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:41.880
who, in fact, is inside
of us at the beginning. It'

242
00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:47.960
s, uh, they give special
characteristics to this bond. But finally that

243
00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:51.480
' s a link where, at
the beginning, the baby doesn' t

244
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:56.799
have so much chance to express,
for example, it' s not then

245
00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:02.200
for the mom to build it for
her baby, not to destroy this for

246
00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:08.000
both at the time of breastfeeding,
of hugging, of talking to them to

247
00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:12.480
look them in the eyes. All
this is forming and many times what can

248
00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:15.240
happen is the frustration of saying woe, for I thought that I was already

249
00:21:15.480 --> 00:21:19.079
going to have it here and that
I was going to feel incredible and suddenly

250
00:21:19.160 --> 00:21:22.200
I see it and I don'
t even know who is no, who

251
00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:27.559
is this stranger or is unknown.
That can be difficult. No e then,

252
00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:30.519
well, there' s no such
thing and a little bit of what

253
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:37.559
I was talking about before I landed
expectations and being more in reality, because

254
00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:40.039
it' s a first step to
understanding this. We are not going to

255
00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:44.039
build that relationship with our sons,
daughters, nothing is going to be given.

256
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:48.000
Of course, now another thing that
is very important and that I also

257
00:21:48.039 --> 00:21:52.839
like to talk about it a lot
and remind the moms a lot in the

258
00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:56.960
circles and in all the spaces that
I can accept is that, as in

259
00:21:56.039 --> 00:22:03.759
all human relations, all human relationships
are built up have eh a diversity of

260
00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:07.160
emotions around and motherhood can generate a
lot of ivalence. Motherhood can feel a

261
00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:12.319
lot of love and a lot of
closeness and desire, for example, to

262
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:15.839
take care of and be close to
the baby, but at the same time

263
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:21.279
feel some rejection and some discomfort.
They may feel sad because beyond hormonal,

264
00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:25.559
they have changed a lot of things
in life. If there were no babies,

265
00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:30.839
well, the change from just being
two in a couple and suddenly having

266
00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:37.559
a third is very strong. Routine
change everything changes a lot and that can

267
00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:42.079
generate anger sometimes or sadness, and
that' s also em It' s

268
00:22:42.200 --> 00:22:48.880
okay to feel it, because no, and the problem can come when we

269
00:22:48.920 --> 00:22:52.039
start judging by having this other part. No, not just feeling love.

270
00:22:53.480 --> 00:23:00.160
And that' s what we'
re going to talk about coming back,

271
00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:04.279
because it' s very important how
you treat yourself and what you allow and

272
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:07.799
what not of the others' treatment
of You when you' re there totally.

273
00:23:10.359 --> 00:23:15.720
I was asking you Tania, okay, I already peed the postpartum.

274
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:21.119
I' m in the postpartum,
I' ve lived this situation. I

275
00:23:21.240 --> 00:23:27.759
don' t make up, I
feel bad and I' m blaming myself

276
00:23:27.880 --> 00:23:34.039
for what we have to do to
be more merciful to ourselves and what limits

277
00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:37.200
we would have to put to others
when they make comments out of place.

278
00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:45.359
How important is the issue of boundaries. But, well, let' s

279
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:49.160
start with ourselves. The first is
to remember that there will be no equal

280
00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:55.200
maternity. There will be no equal
experiences, something that I also think is

281
00:23:55.240 --> 00:24:00.000
very important to keep in mind,
not to compare with other moms, with

282
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:03.960
other things, with the maternity ideals
that there are on social networks, that

283
00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:07.440
we find on the Internet, where
everything seems to be under control and perfect.

284
00:24:08.039 --> 00:24:14.200
That' s not real. So
let' s also land that part

285
00:24:14.279 --> 00:24:18.920
and don' t judge ourselves from
there, from the external reference, not

286
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:22.079
since I' m going to compare
myself to us and then I' ll

287
00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:23.400
say oh it' s not that
she' s better, Mom, it

288
00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:25.000
' s that she' s better, it' s that she can do

289
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:26.880
that and I can' t.
And that' s a good first step

290
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:33.119
to becoming more merciful. The other
is to understand that this experience of motherhood

291
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:36.720
well, is a challenge of the
greatest that there can be and, as

292
00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:41.960
I told you, each one lives
differently and there are many who do not

293
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:45.000
have an incredibly good time. And
that' s fine. Repeat it.

294
00:24:45.079 --> 00:24:49.680
It' s okay with you guys. Not good at motherhood. That'

295
00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:57.119
s a very important thing. Yes, with all the good intentions of the

296
00:24:57.119 --> 00:25:03.799
world, they make them around us
to try to encourage us and not to

297
00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:11.799
tell us things they shouldn' t
say. Look. There' s a

298
00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:15.279
lot of stuff. A fair one
is that sometimes it is the others who

299
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:21.000
compare us. There can be no
women who intend as if the mother who

300
00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:26.039
is not having a good time,
and thank or value some things that she

301
00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:30.640
has in her favor. What he
does is discredit his experience. Then tell

302
00:25:30.200 --> 00:25:34.880
him don' t be sad.
You have everything, you already have your

303
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:38.519
baby You could be very happy,
or I had it very difficult. I

304
00:25:38.599 --> 00:25:42.799
had only one of you. I
had six and I washed my hand and

305
00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:45.519
I had no one to help me
and I don' t know what.

306
00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:48.880
I' m not everything. All
comparisons must be avoided. Please, always

307
00:25:49.400 --> 00:25:56.519
another thing is the thing that people
do with very good intention, but since

308
00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.559
they don' t know what,
another way to help and that is,

309
00:25:59.880 --> 00:26:03.400
to a woman who is having a
hard time, you can, you can,

310
00:26:04.119 --> 00:26:07.160
don' t be sad, don' t be angry. So,

311
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:15.200
when we say this, we'
re denying what a person is living that

312
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:18.480
we want this one of the worst
things we can do. So the most

313
00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:22.359
important thing for those around us,
if they' re listening to us,

314
00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:29.119
if they know someone so a mom
who' s suffering from this start of

315
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:33.319
motherhood, the best they can do
for them to tell her I' m

316
00:26:33.559 --> 00:26:37.400
here with you, you' re
not alone and ask her what I can

317
00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:44.400
help you with, how you need
me to support you, that' s

318
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:45.279
what and listen to them without judging, giving advice, without trying to solve

319
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:49.680
anything. Listen to what they have
to say and ask them what you need

320
00:26:51.039 --> 00:26:56.720
to fear how can I help you? Remind them that you love them and

321
00:26:56.799 --> 00:27:00.160
that you are not alone, that
you are there for them and well,

322
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:03.799
for the moms. We find it
very difficult to set the limit. Sometimes

323
00:27:03.880 --> 00:27:07.799
not because he who tells us these
things, because they are close people and

324
00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:14.079
we know well- intentioned. Then
it can be hard to tell someone hurts

325
00:27:14.200 --> 00:27:18.680
me what you tell me, or
this doesn' t help me right now.

326
00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:22.200
Please, please don' t tell
me this, but we have to

327
00:27:22.319 --> 00:27:29.960
try we also have to practice in
the most loving way possible we also say

328
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:36.720
thank you very much this could help
me in such then also give, as

329
00:27:36.759 --> 00:27:41.839
an alternative to the person, thank
the intention with which comes his comment and

330
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:45.039
ask Sometimes we also find it hard
to ask for support. She' d

331
00:27:45.559 --> 00:27:48.519
like me not to know that you' re going with me to see a

332
00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:55.519
psychologist, a psychologist to help me, because housework is going beyond me between

333
00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:59.240
the baby and this. Please help
me with the dishes today, or help

334
00:27:59.799 --> 00:28:02.519
me pick up my big son at
school today so I can get some sleep

335
00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:12.640
sometimes we need to say. We
don' t know how to ask,

336
00:28:14.920 --> 00:28:22.039
We don' t know how to
ask clearly we lack to go into more

337
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:26.920
detail with how it is treated when
already suspect someone who has postpartum depression that

338
00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:32.640
that actually already merits the diagnosis,
because that is already a diagnosis, it

339
00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:33.839
is no longer a series of characteristics
that we say to him, it is

340
00:28:33.839 --> 00:28:40.160
a diagnosis. What' s to
be done, Tania? It' s

341
00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:47.319
very important to go with a psychologist, psychologist, ideally someone who specializes in

342
00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:52.119
perinatal psychology. Okay, I'
ve heard about women I' ve worked

343
00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:56.880
with who psychologists and psychologists don'
t have this specialty. Many times they

344
00:28:56.960 --> 00:29:03.880
miss this diagnosis m because there are
a number of criteria that do not always

345
00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:10.279
meet. Postpartum depression has many faces
and generally in the more general formation of

346
00:29:10.359 --> 00:29:17.680
psychology, since some are not known, but another is left aside. So,

347
00:29:17.799 --> 00:29:21.319
yes, yes, it would be
important if you have the possibility that

348
00:29:21.880 --> 00:29:25.599
it was someone with that specialty is
the best thing, or someone good,

349
00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:30.400
because you have this experience not working
with women in these stages, eh just

350
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:36.400
there, in interview with specialists,
because we can already know if the diagnosis,

351
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:41.839
in fact, is a depression,
some anxiety, because already some disorder

352
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:48.759
not at this stage or if it
is making an emotional crisis what is derived

353
00:29:48.759 --> 00:29:53.680
from the change. But this,
this difference, is very difficult to make

354
00:29:55.640 --> 00:29:59.279
for someone who doesn' t have
like this, or because it' s

355
00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:03.160
important to make the difference changes.
Yes, it is a depression I postulate

356
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:07.559
that it is an emotional alteration the
consequence of such a clear strong experience as

357
00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:14.480
having a child treatment, how you
will treat the case depends on how what

358
00:30:14.920 --> 00:30:21.160
we are saying is our diagnosis.
No. When there is a diagnosis of

359
00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:29.920
postpartum depression, it is often necessary
to strengthen therapy, the therapeutic part with

360
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.640
some pharmacological part. Many times it
is necessary are antidepressants, antidepressants, no

361
00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:41.640
yes, anxiety also controls it with
antidepressants. This is important and sometimes generates

362
00:30:42.079 --> 00:30:48.319
as a lot of confusion or a
lot of fear to say how you are

363
00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:55.799
going to medicate with this type of
drugs to a woman who is breastfeeding or

364
00:30:55.920 --> 00:31:00.319
not seeing, living, living,
exact adaptation process. But it' s

365
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:03.400
important that you know, because sometimes
it' s also the reason why we

366
00:31:03.559 --> 00:31:07.200
don' t come with a specialist, because it' s the fear how

367
00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:11.119
much they tell me that if I
have depression and then they' re either

368
00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:15.799
going to take me away from my
baby or they want to intern me,

369
00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:19.319
they' re fantasies, no and
fears, or how much so that the

370
00:31:19.359 --> 00:31:23.000
medication they give me has me asleep
all day and then I can' t

371
00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:27.880
take care of my baby or how
much the medication is bad for my baby

372
00:31:27.960 --> 00:31:33.160
and it' s going to happen
to him through my milk. In principle,

373
00:31:33.240 --> 00:31:36.880
I tell you there are medicines that
have been tested and are safe for

374
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:42.799
breastfeeding and that are good. Recently
came out the first e, the first

375
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:48.799
drug that is specially designed for postpr
WOW depression, but that works itself amazing.

376
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:53.759
It' s not going to commercialize
yet, but yes, but we

377
00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:56.960
' re on our way. It
is completely ignored that this, that this

378
00:31:56.200 --> 00:32:01.559
exists, is sometimes ignored with it
knowledge and we ignore it or because you

379
00:32:02.160 --> 00:32:07.359
don' t have the information and
the poor woman doesn' t know what

380
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:10.799
the hell is happening to her.
Yeah, Wow, Wow, Oh,

381
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:15.880
Tania, No, well, yeah, as you can see, all this

382
00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:23.039
information was more than necessary for you
to be aware and able to. Above

383
00:32:23.160 --> 00:32:28.119
all, and as I say to
you, as a woman, always validate

384
00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:30.240
yourself. Start by validating yourself because
you won' t validate the other one.

385
00:32:30.359 --> 00:32:35.559
If you' re not valid,
you' re probably already aware of

386
00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:38.480
my pregnant nonsense. Not if you' re saying it yourself, then what

387
00:32:38.559 --> 00:32:42.680
respect the one in front of me
will have to say, hey, don

388
00:32:42.680 --> 00:32:45.880
' t wait for me. You
are in a temporary situation in which millions

389
00:32:45.960 --> 00:32:50.240
of things are happening in your body
beyond realizing that already in itself, but

390
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:53.799
there are a number of alterations that
are very important, that take into consideration,

391
00:32:53.960 --> 00:33:00.240
that validate them and that ask to
be respected about this is temporary.

392
00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:07.759
So you have to live with that. The result is something that we want,

393
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:12.799
because we want, that we want
it to work out as best as

394
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:15.480
possible and that, somehow, makes
us enter a next stage of life,

395
00:33:15.880 --> 00:33:17.640
because we are not going to go
back to what was before. That'

396
00:33:17.640 --> 00:33:23.599
s for sure, but enter a
better stage of life standing and in the

397
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:27.359
best position. Tania, I think
it' s the greatest wish we can

398
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:30.000
give to a fully pregnant woman.
And I' m glad you said temporary.

399
00:33:30.599 --> 00:33:35.400
Sometimes there' s the fear of
already too. I' m never

400
00:33:35.480 --> 00:33:37.759
gonna be okay, I' m
never ever gonna be me again, I

401
00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:44.960
' m never gonna be emotionally,
mentally balanced, and that' s in

402
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:45.640
doubt, with the right treatment,
things are gonna be okay again. For

403
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:51.799
this it is good, because I
remind you that Tania coordinates this group of

404
00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:57.440
breast circles, which is virtually a
day of the week, a time of

405
00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:02.480
time, connected with other people in
the same circumstances, with whom you can

406
00:34:02.559 --> 00:34:08.000
talk about what in other contexts you
cannot. So I give you the data

407
00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:12.679
again. It' s already on
social media, but I' ll give

408
00:34:12.679 --> 00:34:15.599
you the data again. Fifty-
six, thirty- seven, eight,

409
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:21.559
zero- eight, forty- one, fifty- six, thirty- seven,

410
00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:27.199
eight, eight, forty- one
can send whatsapp or call for information

411
00:34:27.239 --> 00:34:32.000
about mom circles. Don' t
let the opportunity pass, they' re

412
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:37.599
getting really rich. Self- help
groups all their lives have been very famous

413
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:42.280
for the huge impact they have and
Ti Tania thank you so much for coming

414
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:45.239
to discuss these issues with us.
Thank you very much. To Ti Chayo

415
00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:52.599
a taste and then good. I
want to go xavi shando that the week

416
00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:59.440
that enters Easter week major in our
country we will have a series of programs

417
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:04.559
to all s Mondays, Tuesdays and
Wednesdays. The programmes will be aimed at

418
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:10.519
their children and adolescents. What problems
do they have, what handling tips can

419
00:35:10.679 --> 00:35:14.559
be given to them. Anyway,
everything that has to do with this.

420
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:19.599
On Monday, in particular, we' re going to talk about whether your

421
00:35:19.599 --> 00:35:22.599
parents got divorced, if they already
told you that they' re going to

422
00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:28.800
split up, how to deal with
the conflict they have and if they'

423
00:35:28.920 --> 00:35:31.559
re already divorced, they' re
already separated and now they have a new

424
00:35:31.559 --> 00:35:36.320
partner, how and what if it' s up to you and not,

425
00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:38.599
and how you can adapt and help
understand those circumstances. Tuesday how to handle

426
00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:44.719
conflicts that arise at home and what
happens to bullying at school, how you

427
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:50.000
can face it and, above all, identify what role you play in bullying

428
00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:55.679
at school, because this is addressed
to everyone. Wednesday we' re going

429
00:35:55.800 --> 00:36:00.000
to talk about what happens when you
feel sorry to speak in public and you

430
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:02.239
have to give the class, present
the project. Well, some strategies,

431
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:07.559
how to handle it, how to
do it, and how to handle it

432
00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:10.119
Plus, the mockery and the joke
that others can do to you. There

433
00:36:10.199 --> 00:36:15.360
' s a lot of skills I' m going to recommend. And Thursday

434
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:23.239
and Friday notice that they have asked
a lot again for the program we had

435
00:36:23.320 --> 00:36:31.079
with our Taritron couple therapist of what
are those things that impact a couple relationship

436
00:36:31.159 --> 00:36:36.800
in a significant way. And she
talked about seven skills that we don'

437
00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:42.519
t have to acquire to not spoil
our couple relationship. And on Good Friday

438
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:47.639
we will repeat the program that we
had now in commemoration of Women' s

439
00:36:47.639 --> 00:36:54.000
Day, with our dear neurophysiologist Eduardo
Calixto, who came to talk about why

440
00:36:54.920 --> 00:37:00.280
a woman stays in a violent relationship, Despite this, to be having a

441
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:06.000
hard time, what happens Neurologically speaking, have asked for those two programs very

442
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:07.960
much. So let' s take
advantage of it and in Easter, Thursday

443
00:37:08.039 --> 00:37:13.280
and Friday we will repeat them to
you. That' s what you'

444
00:37:13.519 --> 00:37:15.039
ll see We' ve got a
super week ready. The week that comes

445
00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:21.079
in, let' s notify your
children because they' re going to be

446
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:23.519
pure tips and recommendations directly for them
and well with this we get to the

447
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:25.639
end of the program. I'
m Chayo Busquets. This was Chayo with

448
00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:34.239
you until tomorrow here at 1:
00 in Chayo with you Audio Center