Andy, cancit me. I'm so high ecstasy sage cancage not sorry, Andy.
What's up? Positive Bitches? How are we doing today? If you're
hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here, So keep listening
all my Bitches Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times, Baby
Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most
empowered positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On
this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into
exactly who we came here to be. And today we are talking about how
to keep them interested. You got them, but now you want to keep
them and that is a whole other story before we get into it. Yes,
you may have heard the news show up as her. My book,
My Child, My Baby is now published. She is birthed into the world.
If you want to learn more about manifestation, if you want to become
a master manifestor release anxiety, if you want to enter your most magnetic era,
then this book will give you all you need to know and more.
I don't leave anything out, I was saying on Instagram yesterday. It would
be easier for me to tell you what's not in the book than to tell
you what is in the book, because I give you everything you need to
know. Shadow work, in her, Child's work, mindset, makeover.
We do not gatekeep around here. There was a distinct choice that I made
in twenty twenty and I did something very specific to quantum leap, and it
changed my whole entire life. And I give you that exact technique in this
book. If you want to become your desired self, if you want to
enter into your most magnetic era, I have a technique and I write it
out, step by step by step for you to do so that you can
achieve that timeline. When I made this decision, not only did I release
upwards of thirty pounds, I completely healed the relationship with myself with my partner.
I found my purpose, started my own business, started my own podcast,
got opportunity after opportunity after opportunity, groo my socials, and then got
a book deal. So if you want to learn how to completely change your
life in the present moment, in this instance, not tomorrow, not in
one month, but today, show up as her will give you everything you
need to know and more, and you can get the book in the show
notes. Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. As a celebration
for Show Up as Her being released this week, we are actually going to
pull some themes from the book. So in the book, I have two
chapters on manifestation, how to attract a partner and how to keep them,
Especially for my anxiety and codependent girlies, we need to learn how to use
our power in a way that's actually conducive to our desires, and that is
what this book will help you to do. So I posted this on Instagram
and I was looking through some of the questions. One of the questions is
how do you keep Once you attracted someone into your life, how do you
keep them? How do you not just send them all of your energy and
then repel them. Remember this is the most important thing, and I will
say it every podcast. If I need to anything you chase, whether it's
a bug or a boy, will run away. In the book, I
give you a whole entire chart on what energetically chasing looks like. Because you
might think you're playing it cool. Oh, I'm going to wait an hour
before I text them back. That's a waste of your time. Oh,
I know that they called me, but I'm gonna wait an hour till I
call them back. It's a waste of your time, you know why,
because energy does not lie. You can try to act like the chill girl,
you can try to act like the cool girl, but you know who
knows the truth is this energetic universe, your subconscious mind and your higher self
and also their subconscious mind. Energy is non local. People can feel when
you're energetically chasing them, even though you think you're playing it cool. Think
about it. The guy who's obsessed with you you think is creepy because he's
sending way too much energy. Meanwhile, the guy who won't give you any
attention you're obsessed with. It's almost like energy is controlling everything, because oh
right, it is. If you want the full chart for what energetically chasing
is, of course gets show up as her, But I'm gonna read you
a couple of the things. Okay, waiting around for their texts, stalking
their social media, checking their following count, saying manifesting them when really you're
just obsessing over them. You're not manifesting them if you're just manically spiraling over
them, because what are you thinking about them? So where is your energy
going towards them? Whatever you focus on, you're also giving that thing your
energy. So if you just started to talk to someone and you feel yourself
twenty four to seven obsessing over them, wanting to stalk them, looking at
their following account, we need to reel it back in why Because anything we
chase, whether it's a bug er boy, will run away. By the
way, this is not just for relationships. This is for with coworkers.
This is for getting a job or getting an opportunity. The energy of desperation
jobs they can feel it, coworkers they can feel it. Opportunities, opportunities
can feel it. The energy of desperation repels everything. As soon as you
become desperate and you're desperately sending them all of your energy, you are making
this relationship or this job opportunity so much harder to actually align with because you're
so focused on the lack of it in your life. You're so focused of
feeling like it's so far away that all you end up doing is attracting more
emotional experiences that make you feel more lack So how do we counteract energetically chasing
How do we stay embodied in our own vessel, even when we really like
someone Number one, you have to normalize the bare minimum. I see the
question all the time, Well, they're watching all of my stories. That
must mean something. Oh my god, no, no, stop it,
stop it. My grandmother could watch your stories on Instagram. That doesn't mean
that she's now committed to you. Someone being curious about your life and what
you're doing is not commitment. Someone just being curious about you. Oh,
that's not a big deal. We need to normalize the bare minimum. And
guess what. Bread Crumbs is not enough to sustain you. We need a
whole entire love love, baby girl. Bread Crumbs will never sustain you.
We need to recognize the bare minimum as being a turn off, not a
moment to try to prove ourselves worthy of someone else. Why aren't they calling
me? Why aren't they texting me? Oh my god, I'm gonna manipulate
myself so they like me. I'm gonna become their dream girl instead of focusing
on my own life. There's a positive bitch tip for normalizing the bare minimum.
When we feel they are pulling away, our first instinct is to try
to give more, but this only repels them further. If giving them some
of your energy wasn't appreciated. Giving more of the same will not be appreciated
either. We need to recognize that we They might have beautiful, lovely energy,
but not everyone is going to be able to recognize the value that we
hold, and not everyone, even if they do recognize our value, will
be able to afford us energetically in their life. Now, listen up to
me. If these people are able to play with NPCs on their little video
games, and NPC is a non player character, if they have time to
play with fake people okay in video games. They have time to text you,
they have time to call you, they have time to interact with you.
No one on God's green Earth is that busy. I know men who
work very high power jobs and they always they've always had enough time to contact
their wife and or the girl that they were pursuing. They never said,
well, you know, I'm busy, I can't. I actually had a
man who's very high up there literally say to me, everyone has enough time
in their day when they prioritize that person. It's not about not having enough
time. It's about someone's priorities and what they value. If someone is telling
you that they're too busy. That's simply not true. They just don't value
you enough. And I know that's a hard pill to swallow, but baby
girl, I rather you swallow this now than choke later, because you allow
this person into your life and you let them play you, because really you're
playing yourself. And around here, we're not gonna blame ourselves. We're not
gonna throw out ourselves a pity party. All we're gonna do is take total
responsibility and read the writing on the wall. They should be pursuing you.
They should be sending the flowers, they should be sending the text message.
They should be calling you. They should be trying to see you, and
that should become increasingly and increasingly increasingly more of an occurrence. The cadence should
speed up. You should not be sitting there confused. And if you're confused,
that is not courtship. That's confusion. And confusion is a signals.
Mixed signal is a signal. Silence is a signal. All of this is
information. Now, I don't want you looking at this other person and psychoanalyzing
every single thing. Just take it as data. Dating is data. That's
it. That's all it is. What is this person doing, Are they
pursuing me? Are they not saying anything? Okay, let me jop this
down. Let me pay attention to what's going on. It's so important that
we do this. Yesterday on Live or two days ago, someone was saying,
you know, they're not reaching out to me. Should I reach out
to them? What should I do? I said, no, do not
reach out to them. You need to see who this person is. You
need to see if this person has a stamina to actually pursue you and get
you. You need to see who this person is when you're not reaching out
to them, What are they doing, how are they acting? How are
they going after you to seal the deal? And if they're not, that's
not an invitation to chase them. That should be a signal. Oh,
this person obviously is not that into it. I'm going to refocus on me
and see what else is out there. This brings me to my next point.
You've attracted this person into your life. You want to keep them around.
You're dating, You're not sure what the boundaries are. The lines sometimes
get blurred. What do we do? The number one thing I really want
you to pay attention to is not overfeeding them with your energy. And this
isn't because your stingy, It's because you need to stay in your own damn
vessel. So let's read stop overfeeding them. Allowing people to not treat you
with the utmost respect and love is a symptom of you placing them on your
pedestal. What would help is putting them on an energetic diet. This means
no more sending them endless amounts of your energy for nothing in return, because
you are not a bowling ball. If you have been overfeeding them with your
energy, you're simultaneously starving yourself. Shift your focus and your energy will follow.
If you're constantly worried, who are they following? What are they doing?
Why aren't they calling me? You're more focused on their reality than your
own. You're more focused on their incarnation than your own. I'm sorry.
Did you incarnate as them? No? You did not, so what are
you do? Wing? So we have to put them on an energetic diet.
One of the ways we can stay centered and not give them all of
our energy is to have non negotiables. We've talked about this before. Non
negotiables are activities or hobbies, your side, hustle, your career. There
are things you engage with regardless of who comes in and out of your life,
because these activities, these behaviors make you you. They're healthy habits that
allow you to feel your best in your own skin. If you have non
negotiables, what will this do for you? It will help you to focus
on you. If you're focused on you, where will your energy be.
Your energy will be on you. You will be feeding yourself with your own
energy. You will be embodied in your own vessel, and you will not
be sending them all of your energy. The reason I referenced a Boeing ball
in that passage is because earlier on in the chapter, I talk about two
differ energetic dynamics that you might be experiencing, and I think we all have
experienced both of these. Maybe not, but you definitely feel the difference.
So the dynamic you don't want, the dynamic that is overfeeding them with your
energy, is that of a bowling ball. You're thinking about them, you're
sending the text, you're pursuing them, you're giving them all of your thoughts
and your emotions, and you're really selling yourself. But all this does is
deplete you, and just like a bowling ball. You come in with all
this force, but you knock all the pins down and you repel the pins
in the opposite direction. When you overfeed someone with your energy, you are
like a bowling ball and you knock the pins all over the place and you
repel them. Essentially, you repel them. That is what we don't want
to do, because that means we're starving ourselves of our own energy. We're
going to feel depleted, and also we're just getting bad results because we're repelling
everybody. What you want to look for is something that feels like a tennis
match. They send some energy, you give some back. They send some
energy, you give some back. You are hitting the ball from them to
you, from them to you, from them to you. You are allowing
them to pursue you. You're getting data on how they're pursuing you. You're
getting information you need because, by the way, you have to know if
you even like this person, and I swear sometimes I really don't even think
we know whether or not we like them. We miss all the red flags
because all we're doing is body bouncing and trying to see how they're perceiving us,
rather than us even seeing if we like them. That is repellent.
You might as well bottle that up and spray it on yourself when you're on
a trail, because you are going to repel everyone, even the bugs.
Yep, that's how it works. This universe that we reside in is an
energetic way, and there are energetic laws that baby girl. They apply whether
or not you believe in them, whether or not you know about these energetic
laws like gravity, they will apply. If you walk off the cliff,
you are falling. If you energetically chase, you will repel them. It
does not matter it, Nothing else matters because everything at its core is energy.
You are energy, they are energy, and how we interact with other
people is all in energetic exchange. This is why it's so important you get
this book show up as her, because you have to understand the results you're
getting, why you're getting them, and how you're using your energy. It
breaks my heart. I wanted to put another word in there, but YouTube
will demonetize me and like take me down, so I can't. But it
breaks my heart that I get messages every single day from women all over the
world and men. They left me. Everyone leaves me. I'm always abandoned,
and they think it's because there's something fundamentally wrong with them, when there's
nothing wrong with them. They just don't know how to use their energy in
a way that's conducive to their desires. I'm telling you you have the power,
you have the energy, but you have to learn the tools, because
without the tools, what is knowledge? Knowledge is nothing if you can't put
it into action. Knowledge means gententtly squat If you don't know how to actually
use that knowledge to make your life better. What's the point of being the
smartest person alive if you don't do anything with the information. What is the
point? Oh that's right, there's no point. There is none. So
you have to actually take responsibility and use this knowledge and put it into action.
Not for me, for you, Okay, next point, stop ghosting
your own needs. There's a difference between being needy and expressing your needs.
I'm want to say that again for the people in the back. There's a
difference between being needy and expressing your needs. Expressing your own needs places you
on your own pedestal and communicates to your subconscious mind as well as the universe
and other people, that you know your worth there's nothing wrong with expressing your
needs. In fact, it must be done if you want a healthy relationship.
News flash, no one can read your mind being need needs when you
place the other person on the pedestal and derive all your happiness, excitement,
and love from them. When we are needy of them, we will often
ghost ourselves, thinking it's a way to ensure to get them. I see
this all the time, even in my own life, I would abandon myself,
my wants, and my needs because I thought that is how I could
ensure them in my life. I thought if I gave up my center,
if I gave up myself, well then I'll be able to get love in
a relationship. If I give up myself, I will earn them. That
is faulty programming, and that is not true. And it's so important early
on in your relationship that you set up a healthy, energetic dynamic where both
of you get your needs met and you're also both in complete clarity about what
one another wants and needs. You don't want to set up a dynamic where
you are just someone's slave and you never express yourself and you're in constant fear
that they're gonna leave you. If they want to leave, let them because
in the space that they lead you with, not only will you find your
purpose, but you'll find someone better. Hello. Anyway, when you speak
up for yourself, my mom always said, and it's the truest form of
energy. When you speak up for your needs, a squeaky wheel gets the
grease they will be met. When you speak up for your needs, they
will be met. That doesn't make you needy, it doesn't make you annoying.
It makes you someone who's so confident in themselves that they know if this
person can't meet their needs, that someone else will. Give people the chance
to show up for you, give people the chance to pursue you in a
way you actually want to be pursued, and be honest about what it is
you want in need. I remember when I was dating someone and I always
call him Specimen six foot four because girl. Anyway. I remember telling him
I literally a phone call to me is so important. It's really important to
me, and he literally said, to my face, I'll never call you.
I thought that I could just stuff down my needs and be okay with
that. I was like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
I was in such a low vibration at the time, and I really just
want a companionship because I felt so lonely that I was willing to accept anything.
And because I ghosted my own wants and needs because I really didn't speak
up for myself and say no, that's not okay with me. I did
get the bare minimum and I took those crumbs, and I tried to make
myself be satisfied with crumbs, and all it did would was make myself turn
on myself. All I did was get so angry at myself for allowing this
dynamic, and I betrayed myself. And what ended up happening is he basically
just ghosted me. It was like it was weird because it was like it
was cosmic cancelation. We kind of just canceled each other out. But he
really did just leave my life and never met any of my needs. And
it was not an equal energetic exchange because I was so willing to ghost myself
and that will never allow you to be satisfied. We think we have to
ghost ourselves, but this gets us the opposite of what we want. If
you can ghost your own self, why wouldn't someone else when you ghost your
own needs, beliefs, morals, and values, it will be easy for
that other person to ghost you too. People will continue to mirror this behavior
until you show up differently. The universe will not let up on you,
baby girl, because the universe it is always extending energetic invitations for you to
heal deeper. So you will keep getting these situationships, these people who ghost
you until you stop ghosting yourself. If your early stage is dating someone and
you want to keep them around, you really see potential with this person.
You can't keep doing what you've been doing. You can't keep letting go of
yourself in order to try to get other people to stay, because if you
have to betray yourself, that is not the right person for you. Positive
bitch tip. How we treat ourselves mentally, physically, and energetically will teach
other people how to treat us. If they see that you do not value
yourself, they will not value you either. I hate to be the one
to tell you this, and I also love it because I'm not gonna lie
to you and say everything's gonna be okay and you'll find that person. No,
you won't if you don't stop doing what you've been doing. Sorry,
that's the truth. If you want to get different results, newsflash, you
gotta show up differently. If you want a new life, you have to
pay up, and you have to release the behaviors, the thought patterns that
you've been engaging with, and you have to adopt new thoughts, new behaviors,
and a new mentality. Show up as her will help you do this.
There's no point in suffering anymore. There's no point. Why would you
continue on doing the same thing and repeatedly just getting upset with yourself. You
don't have to suffer anymore. If you don't have to suffer anymore, you
can get this book. You can change your mind, you can change your
life. There's no reward for repeatedly, constantly, consistently suffering when it comes
to relationships, career, your body, your life. You're not Jesus Christ.
You don't have to die on the cross for us. That's not your
journey. Baby, it's not your journey. Okay, that's not your life.
You have a different one, good for you. By the way,
you know that's his sounds like a really rough journey. I don't think any
of us need that right now. But this this stuff cuts deep, intimate
relationships. Oh, they cut deep. Another point, don't try hard,
try easy? Yep. I think so much of the time we try so
hard for career, love life in general. We try so hard to get
people to stay. We try so hard to make situations work out in a
way where we have control. What if we just tried easy, like,
actually ask yourself, how does that feel in your body? Literally say aloud?
What if I just tried easy? What if I just surrendered? What
if I just allowed people to show me who they are? What if I
just allowed people to pursue me instead of me thinking and I have to pursue
them. What if I just let things unfold? What is your body doing?
How does it feel? For some of you, you might be feeling
a piece you haven't felt in a really long time. For others of you,
you might feel actually extreme stressed because you're not familiar with giving up control.
You're not familiar with being in your divine feminine energy. All you know
is your masculine energy. And what does the masculine want to do? Really,
the wounded masculine, what does it want to do? Control? Dominate?
It always is so deeply trying to connect every single dot before your soul
should even know where the next dot is coming from. Don't try hard,
try easy. What we don't realize is when we're trying so hard, what
are you feeling? Emotionally? We're feeling the lack of what it is we
want in our life. We're feeling the lack of love, the lack of
abundance, the lack of appreciation. When we're trying really, really hard in
the three DS, because energetically, we're feeling lack And what matters is not
what's happening in the three D. Are you facing your reality or are you
creating your reality? What matters is what you're broadcasting on an energetic level,
because that is what is pulling in your experiences. Your energetic signature is made
up of your dominant thoughts and your dominant feelings. Really feelings is the more
powerful one, but it's both because thoughts cause biochemical reactions which cause feelings.
Either way, your dominant thoughts in your dominant feelings are pulling in your experiences.
If you're trying hard in the three D, what are you thinking and
what are you feeling energetically, because that is what's manifesting. If you're trying
so hard in the three D because the root is that you don't think you're
good enough and you feel the lack of whatever it is you want in your
life, Well, you're just going to attract more lack. The masculine energy
can get stuck in survival mode and become over focused on chasing material goods,
relationships, people, places, anything. The masculine tends to get lost under
the guise of the ego, while the feminine knows we are much more than
what meets the eye. The feminine energy doesn't try hard because she knows she
already has everything she needs within her. When we try hard for something or
should I say, someone, na, not only do we begin to energetically
chase that thing or person, but we place them on our pedestal. This
makes them the king and us the peasant. Are you a peasant? No,
so stop acting like one. Anytime we place anything on our pedestal,
it automatically energetically is above us, and therefore it becomes harder to align with.
When we place the person on our pedestal, we end up living according
to their law, their rules, and their way. We have gotten lost
in trying hard. We have forgotten how easy aligning with like vibration people is
like naturally attracts like, you don't have to do much. The one thing
you must do is show up authentically as yourself and leave the rest up to
the universes electromagnetic field. So here's the thing. Like naturally attracts like attracting
what you want is simpler than what you think. It's energetic law. That
like attracts like, it's energetic law. Therefore, that what you're seeking,
that right person is also seeking you. The person you're praying for is also
praying for you. The person that you're wanting is also wanting you. You
have to let the energetic universe place you in the right place, at the
right time, with the right people. If you're going out on a date
with someone new or someone you've been dating for a little bit but it's still
new, even if you're just going out to the bar or the restaurant,
the club. What I want you to be asking yourself not is not how
can I prove myself? How can I look good for them? Blah blah
blah blah, not all that word vomit. What I want you to be
asking yourself is one simple question, and that is how can I just enjoy
myself tonight. We have forgotten how easy and fun manifestation is. If you
want to manifest ten times more efficiently and better, just ask yourself, how
can I find joy in every single moment? I prefer how can I find
fun in every single moment? As a Capricorn, I have found a lot
of my time I am so in a work mindset. I spent most of
my life in my masculine energy. That's why I'm here right now talking about
this stuff. Because it's so important that we don't get lost in the sauce.
Hello, wake up? Is anyone out there? It's time to show
up as her life is so short. One day we will not be here.
What are we doing wasting our time? Today? Is so important?
So how can we find joy? How can we find happiness and fun in
right now? In right now? It's imperative that you are setting intentions before
you go out tonight. I'm gonna have fun tonight and I'm going to enjoy
myself. Tonight is gonna be a night like no other. I'm gonna stay
focused on me, I'm gonna enjoy my own human experience. I've been thinking
a lot about this mantra recently that just came to my mind mantra moment.
This new mantra I've been working with is when I focus on me, I
have peace. When I focus on me, I have peace. This reminds
me that when I stay focused on my own incarnation and I feed myself with
my energy, I have peace. I'm not worried about someone else, I'm
not worried about something in the future, and I'm not regretting something from my
past. I am so steeped in my present moment, and when I do
that, I have peace. We get depression from our past, anxiety from
our future. What do we get from our present moment? Power and peace?
The double peace. Ooh, it's good and it feels good because our
power lies in our present moment. We can reframe the past, of course,
we can intend for our future, of course, But where can we
take true aligned action, It's in our present moment. If you want to
learn more about manifestation, more about how to unlock your magnetic energy, how
to release anxiety, how to regulate your nervous system, how to stay embodied
in your own vessel, not get mad, but get everything you've ever wanted,
and desired I really invite you to get show up as her. Ten
laws for reclaiming your power, embodying magnetic energy and positive manifestation. I really
really invite you to take action and invest in yourself. You are the greatest
investment that you can possibly make. You have to take healthy risk on yourself,
and I would hardly equate getting a book and reading it as a risk.
But if you're not used to doing that, then it can feel unfamiliar
and maybe a little scary, and your ego might even want to resist it.
But your soul has brought you to this podcast today. Your soul has
aligned you with me for good reason. Don't let your soul down. Don't
let your future self down. Don't let your potential be so far away from
you. Your potential, the relationship you want, the career that you want,
the body that you want. All of these things are in your reach.
But are you grabbing them or are you just thinking about them? Because
thought in itself is not enough. You have to become her and show up
as her every damn day. That is the price of admission to your desired
life. That is the price that you have to pay to get what it
is you want, but it will be truly the best thing you do for
yourself. I love you so much. If you want to get you up
as her, the link will be in the show notes and I will see
you the next one. Coenogy. Cancel Engy, cancel me, Cancel me.