I really appreciate all the emails and really nice emails for the Minnesota Goodbye,
And of course the Minnesota Goodbye is all about we get to read emails that
you write, so you bring up the topics. That's why we call you
a staff writer and Dart liquor. But it's also where we get to be
a little bit more, you know, let our guard down and talk about
shit that we don't normally get to talk about, like oh, I don't
know, we get to swear. We have talked about naughty Tuesday. Most
recently we've one to an extensive talk about genital warts. Do we talk about
genital warts and harpies? Yeah? Okay, yeah, yeah. I think
I knew somebody that had genital warts and they told me and I'm like,
pass, you know what I mean. So because it's like, yeah,
you know what, I'm sure that you deal with them just fine. Rather
not trade that for genital war, you know, the love and for the
genital warts. Yeah, all right, let's dive in and see what we
got. Here we go, Jacqueline says, Hello morning show crew. First
of all, congrats on your achievements in the last few months. I'm proud
to be a listener of the Marconi Award winning morning show. I need some
advice. Not trying to be a downer, but I'm not a fan of
the holidays. This is actually one we could probably read on the regular radio
show too, because I think it's quite common. I'm going to read her
email and see if this relates to anybody. I'm thirty four. Both of
my parents have passed away over ten years ago, so she's thirty four.
So her parents died at a very young age when she was in her early
twenties. Yea. They died within a few days of each other, a
few years of each other, but both close to Christmas. After their deaths,
my siblings and I became mostly estranged, and the extended family I do
have lives out of state or taken little interest in keeping in touch. I'm
very much on my own since I am single with no kids, and most
of the time I'm okay with that and just content with my two cats.
The holidays are hard, though, I get sad scrolling through social media or
when I'm out in a bout seeing everybody with their families and all the festive
decorations. It makes me wish I at least had a significant other to celebrate
with the past few Thanksgivings and Christmases, I have spent alone at home,
usually going to bed early so the day can just be over. Oh my
gosh, I'm just heartbroken. I've joined friends on a couple of occasions,
but at this point in our lives, most of them have kids in their
own families, and I wouldn't want to intrude. I'm wondering if you have
any idea for something to do on these holidays that isn't as depressing as being
alone. If not, that's okay. Just thought I would write in and
possibly get a staff writer sticker that is Jacqueline. Yeah, sure, I'll
get you sticker, no problem. I'm gonna we should do this on the
regular show because I think that we get a broader audience. And I'm going
to forward this to you, Jenny, because I really do want to help
you, Jacqueline. But off the top of your head, as I'm typing
in your email address, Jenny, what do you suggest. That's very tough
because most people are probably with their family for the holidays and so they're already
busy. I would say, maybe see if there's like a local bar or
restaurant around that you can at least have some human interaction with, even if
it's like sitting by yourself and hanging out at the bar and talking to the
bartender, because I mean, you might find other people that are in the
same boat as you if you go do something like that that also don't have
family around, and there's you know, there's transplants everywhere, Like Minneapolis has
a lot of people who have moved here for jobs, So there's a good
chance that other people don't have any family and friends to celebrate with, so
they might be out at a bar too, So maybe you can meet other
people that are in the same situation as you. But outside of that,
I'm kind of struggling what abos one of the social clubs like events and adventures
in that type of thing. I mean, we advertise, so it's not
a paid plug for me. But aren't there a lot of like groups of
single people that you know, they kind of get together so they're not alone
on holidays. Yeah, I can't speak for any kind of group like that,
but I would say there's probably like Facebook groups that are developed because there
is a Facebook group for everything. There's like a women in Minnesota who hike
Facebook group. There are men who love to fish Facebook group like stuff like
that, you know, so it's like you could probably you could potentially find
a Facebook group where you can make some friends that way. But yeah,
I don't have an answer for that outside of maybe just go hang out somewhere
that's open. You know. I don't really have an answer either, but
I do think that you should do something. And I think even taking the
step to email us and ask us about it is you know, a start.
And Jacqueline, I just looked you up on Facebook, and I hope
you don't mind. She's very attractive. I'm gonna show your picture, yes,
and attractiveness doesn't matter for being alone. But the reason that I ask
Jacqueline is, you know, if you if you want a partner, you
look like a news anchor. Seriously, she looks she looks like a news
anchor, and she looks put together and smart and whatever. The reason I'm
bringing it up is not because you should not be lonely because you're attractive,
but you could pretty easily find a romantic partner. I don't know how that
goes. I know that women have a hard time on a lot of the
apps because guys want sex. Guys will leave like, hey, yeah,
you look really nice. I hear you like cats. I like cats too.
Here's a picture of my dick. So that's that's and that's not what
women want, but that's what a lot of the time they get. Isn't
that what you hear on all the dating apps? Yeah, I mean I've
heard some of those horror stories. I don't think that I would say seventy
five percent of the people who are on dating apps are not doing things like
that. I mean, there's probably a lot of people who are trying to
hook up still, but they're not being so forward as sending a tck pic
after like a few texts. But yes, I mean I've heard that some
of them have. My friend Melissa has gotten the dick pick after like an
hour of chatting and things going well, here's a pick my dick, right,
And I'm saying that it definitely has happened. I just want to like
say that there are plenty of people out there, though, that don't do
things like that. And I have had a handful of friends meet their partners
on dating apps. My sister's married to a guy she met off of Tinder,
so I think that there is hope for dating apps. But I also
have been out of the dating scene for a while, so I'm sure other
people have different experiences than I do. But here's the interesting thing. I
know, and Jacqueline, you might be kind of shy, and you might
be kind of a more of a reserved person. I don't know. I'm
going to guess that might be the tendency if you stay a home alone,
because I know people that are single, their kids are either grown or they
didn't have kids, and they're out and about and they're very social. Yeah,
you sound more like me in a way, Jacqueline, that you know
I like to stay home. But I'm at a point right now I stay
home too much. It's getting to it's getting to me because I stay home
alone too much. Almost every single afternoon, I get home at around noon
or one. I go to the gym. Sometimes I get home at two
on gym days, and then I'm Susan's gone on until like six or seven
o'clock and it's fucking lonely. Yeah, And I sit there and I don't
really I sometimes I walk around the house. I don't know what to do,
and I know that I should do this, and I could do this,
and I could practice my magic or my ukulele or read or whatever.
And sometimes it's just it's just getting to me. But I'm not want to
make this about me, Jacqueline. There are people who have less to offer
than you who have a partner. So if you want to find a partner,
I think that's one of the joyful things in life. Is that one
of the best things in life? Yeah, when you have a partner and
they're your best friend, well for sure. But I will also speak on
the single life because I was single for many many years and I was also
very very happy. And I know that she's asking for solutions for being alone,
So I get that, but I would say, like, you know,
you do not You could find other things to do besides like diving right
into the dating apps to find a partner to celebrate the holidays with. So
I think, like, I don't know. I think that's what I'm the
most interested in and is finding answers from other people also want to what to
do on Christmas and Thanksgiving. Because you're right here, we are trying to
solve all of her problems and tell her what she needs to do, but
that's really not what she asked. And she wants to know what to do
on Christmas Day or New Year's Day or not New Year's Thanksgiving. Volunteer.
Oh yeah, that's work at a soup kitchen or a shelter or something.
I think there's probably lots of volunteer opportunities, but we'll see what we get.
Jacqueline, thanks for emailing and good luck and let us know how it
turns out, because that makes me sad. I mean. And one thing
I'll say, as someone who's always been able to usually go home for the
holidays, I've always had friends who have invited me though if I was unable
to go home for the holidays to their family Thanksgiving or Easter or something.
And I'd never go home for Easter, so that was always a big one.
So I would say, if you know someone that is alone on the
holidays, maybe lend an invitation if you're able to to your whatever you're doing
to celebrate, because that go a long way for that person that you know
what that is true. And I will tell you one final note on this
one. I decided to spend my birthday alone this past year, like three
weeks ago, bad mistake. It was a terrible mistake. I thought I'd
be Okay. It was the loneliest birthday. I'll never choose to spend my
birthday alone ever again. Yeah, next one, Dave and Jenny, you
can say my name. That is Taylor. I've been listening since middle school,
found your podcast after I graduated college. I live in Euclaire now cannot
get enough of your show and podcast. The Minnesota Advice is definitely one of
my favorites. It's cool to hear you guys get to be yourselves a little
bit more unfiltered. You are all amazing and do such a great job with
the show and podcast, and I'm grateful to get the opportunity to continue to
listen to you. Wow, that's very nice. Yeah. When I got
married, we had a question game at my bridal shower where my friends had
a list of questions they asked me and then ask my now husband to guess
how I would answer. One of the questions was if Taylor could meet any
celebrity, who would she choose, and my husband correctly said Dave Ryan.
Okay, that cracks me up, but it's also super flattering. At the
same time, my kids also know all the show members by name only from
the actual morning show. They do not get to listen to the Minnesota goodbye
laugh emoji. Good because you don't want to explain dart lick to a kid.
Onto the content. Here we go. What is your personal mantra?
For a while, mine was this too shall pass, and I used it
to move past the hard times and truly value the good times. I don't
have a specific one anymore, but I try to reflect on how I'm living
my life and if it aligns how I'd like to feel if I was watching
my life on a movie theater screen. It's a good gut check on prioritizing
the right things and not reacting harshly in the moment, which I tend to
do. I like that. Look at your life as if you're watching it
on a movie screen, and are you proud of what you're watching? Yeah?
You know, if you lay around all day and eat cheetos and masturbate
all day, that sounds like a lot of fun. It does. I
might get old after a little while. Well, here's the problem. You're
gentitail. You're gonna have cheesy orange dust all over them. Got a nice
little tan, do well? You got a little tan on your genitalia,
this is actually Cheeto's dust. And then see but here's the great thing.
On the Minnesota Goodbye, we can talk about masturbating and Cheetoh's dust, whereas
we can't really talk about that on the regular show. So I think that's
a really good mantra that watch what you know? How would you feel if
you're watching your life? I also like this too, She'll pass mine is
there's two of them. No hill goes up forever, which I've talked about
before, And I always try so when I fail at something, like if
I do something really bad on the show that doesn't work out, like earlier
this week, I fucked up a bit so bad it was embarrassing, and
Jenny heard me whine and bitch about it for two days. But I tell
myself, I always try. I always try. So when I, you
know, try to build something or paint something or fuick fix or cook,
I tell myself I always try. So I don't beat myself up too bad
because I do. I always try. That's a good one. What about
you? Mine is do it for the plot that's in my literal Instagram bio,
Because I think that I like am decently adventurous, but that's not what
it's about. It's about doing things that you wouldn't always feel comfortable doing.
So if something makes you anxious, but you're excited about it at the same
time, still do it even though it's making you anxious because there's an excitement
there. So yeah, I always say do it for the plot. I
kind of like that. I've never heard the term do it for the plot,
but yeah, you are kind of adventurous. There's a lot of the
lot. Jenny won't fly with me in my airplane, which hurts my heart,
but you know it's not to consue. It's my own internal fears.
So stressed. And here's another thing, know what you don't want to do.
And I think that's a really good thing to know in life, Know
that you don't want to do something like if your partner is like, we're
gonna learn bouldering, we want to go We're gonna learn but it and you're
like, I don't want to fucking go learn bouldering. That sounds awful.
That's a dumb example, Jenny. That's a good aga. I know.
I think that is a good If you know that you don't want to learn
bouldering, then just go No, thanks, I'll pass. Yeah, we're
gonna go out and do shots all night. No, I don't think I
will. Next question, would you rather be only able to eat with an
excessively large spoon or fork think dinner plate size, or be able to use
regular cutlery but never use napkins? I think this gets interesting if you were
at a dinner party and had to choose. All right, this is a
great question, Jenny. Which one is it? Do you want to xssly
large or never use napkins? I think I would probably say never use napkins,
yeah, because I mean, yeah, I've get sloppy when I eat
every once in a while, but for the most part, I can keep
my food on my plate and in my mouth and not like miss and like
drip down my shirt. So I think it'd be good. And even if
you do, that's better than eating with a dinner sized fork or spoon.
Thanks for reading my email that is from Tara in Wisconsin. Thank you,
Tara. I think I took a picture of your email, but I'm going
to do it again just to make sure that I did, so I can
mail you a staff writer sticker Okay, we're deleting that one, right,
Yes, we are deleting that one. I'm asking you, all right,
here's one from Dara, Dave, Jenny Drake, love you guys. I
listen on the iHeartRadio app with my Alexa every morning while I'm getting ready.
I live fifty miles south of man Cato, and I was hoping you would
answer this on the Minnesota Goodbye one. You often say, Jenny, write
it down. Is this actually happening. Is there a big notebook or a
bunch of notes, or is it just a bit or a joke. No,
I do write it down. I write it down. I did.
Used to have a notebook that said write it down from this woman Angela,
we worked with before she got all of us the notebook that set it on
it. So I had that. But I'm almost through that notebook, so
I don't have that anymore. But I am physically writing things down. When
Dave tells me to do that and we all have ideas, we go write
it down because the problem is in the moment. This is what happens with
ideas is if you don't write it down or record it, you'll remember that
you had an idea. But you won't remember what the idea was, so
we all say write it down because I will ask later fifteen minutes later,
Jenny, what was the idea that I said write down? It'd be like,
oh, well that was blah blah blah. Number two, does Bailey
get paid to come in and help host when Drake or Jenny is gone.
No, and she should, but she enjoys it to the point where she
does not. Kind of like if we get asked to, like go over
on Twin Cities Live and you know beyond, we don't get paid. We
just love the fact that it's fun to do. So she does not.
But you know, it's possible that somewhere down the road we might have to
flip her a little bit of money when she starts to go what the fuck?
What is a movie that you guys like that is always you always stop
on if it's on TV. In other words, one of your favorite movies
or one that you could watch over and over again. Mine is How to
Lose a Guy in Ten Days? Jenny would one. Okay, I don't
know. Sometimes I feel ashamed for this, but I love Coyote ugly.
It is just like one of my all time favorite movies, but also around
Christmas time. I love the Grinch version with Jim Carrey, so that one
I will always sit and watch. If it comes on around December time,
I'm like, time to watch this, even though I'm busy and I need
to be doing something else. No, I get and think we all have
one like that. I would say vacation, the original vacation which Heavy Chase
and their trip to Wally World. But if I thought harder, I know
there'd be others that'd be like, oh God, yeah, of course.
But that's the first one that comes to mind, and that my friend is
going to kind of wrap it up for the Minnesota goodbye today, Thank you
very much. Send in an email. If we read it on the show,
then we will send you a staff writer sticker if you include your first,
last name and address. There's been some people who don't put their last
name on there, so I'll just say like staff writer Melanie or staff writer
Brook or whatever. But hopefully you got your sticker. And if we don't
read your email, that could mean either we didn't get time for it,
or we covered something that was kind of like that, or it might have
been a little bit off for what we want to talk about. But there's
really not a lot we won't talk about. I mean, we're gonna talk
about one. We got one for Naughty Tuesday next week that is so naughty.
We talked about the topic came up, I think yesterday on the show.
We said, is there a fetish or weird kink that a partner wanted
to try with you? And we said, well, we'll talk about that
next Naughty Tuesday. But somebody wrote in with an answer, and I'm gonna
let's see if I can find it really quick. Here. Yeah, here
it is. Her name is Amaret and she lives in Plymouth and she was
approached by somebody who wanted to try something and she said no and ended up
blocking him because it was such a bizarre not anyway illegal or not any way
dangerous, just a bizarre fantasy. And you'll hear that next Tuesday. Say
I can't wait for Tuesday, Naughty Tuesday on the Minnesota Goodbye. Put a
little reminder in your phone to not miss the Minnesota Goodbye on Naughty Tuesday,
because that one will blow your hair bag. It's crazy, that is it.
Send your emails to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.