Stand home, who is there? Nay, but do speak to me thy
name, Stand and unfold thine self, Desi, the prince of mystery and
woe, Sir David, Sir Florence, show thyself. We are men,
my Lord Desi, the motley fool rule of FARCICALI ish un explainery. The
famous Davidis of Stacoli. Appearest thou from fog and gloom, and not unlike
the red eyed, cheerless harbinger of doom himself, the West Virginian manmouth.
Indeed, good, Sir, I sneak alike into a tatsil verm on highest
mountain top, and verily unto thee, I say, y'all shall leave.
Good Davidis pray tell from where may one divine some knowledge of the witchic arts
which watch our woeful function? Soberly I know not of these witchick arts,
my lord, alas my love for such as vexed at best, and seek
I not the truth of such delight. Methinks this fool knows more than he
lets on. Tis well, then, fool, that thou art ignorant.
The truth is far more vexing than the lie. I take my leave and
hope we meet Anon indeed, and farewell, good sir, Henny luck give
you light for which is meat, where truth escapes the night? Hell,
and good morrow. We are old end tie me well, met to me
in the tone of David Stecco. And now mayst speak to me as though
I am lord of the keep, master of the manner, Davids of Florence,
David of the Flora. Why don't you clean your pentamina out there?
All? Hey, everybody's blurry photos, you know it. Blessed be to
you all. I just can't wait to get this one started. Oh,
may the goddess light shine down upon us. That's right, she's got anything,
all right. Obviously she shone the spotlight upon us for that intro.
Yeah, she sure did. She. She guided us maybe through the incantations
we've done. We're talking about WICCA today, that's right. How about that.
It's the most popular format for a modern witchcraft. Yeah. Yeah,
we're continuing on our blurry foetober. Yeah. I hope it's going well for
you. It's not too spookkey. I hope it is too spook I don't
have your best interests. I take a nominal liking to your life. Uh
yeah, yeah, This one's not gonna be too too spooky, but hopefully
it'll be informational for you. Yeah, it should be. It should be
cool. We have discussed wickens a number of times on this podcast. Yeah,
almost ad nauseum, but not right right, And we came really close
a year ago while we were discussing the history of witchcraft to honestly doing some
research on this, but we still managed to dodge the bullet. So for
a full rich twelve months we have wallowed and ignorance and just said whatever pops
into our head. And by we, I mean me. David Flora has
done a pretty good job of being circumspect about it, but I just pop
wise whenever I feel like it. And so let me start our podcast by
saying, I'm glad to have actually learned about the Wickan religion, the Wicca
religion. That's the first thing I learned. Oh, Wiccan is a person
practicing Wicka. I like that. Yeah, so that's the first thing I
learned, right there. So yeah, I've learned, and it's it's it's
a it's a really complex and interesting and fun religious system. Yeah, and
on this episode, we hope to tell everybody what Wicca is and a little
bit of its history. It's it's short but detailed history. Yeah, it's
a it's as such, Johnny come lately, as far as the druidic arts
go. And uh. And then we're going to talk about some of the
myths and stereotypes and maybe some of the practices that go into oh wicka.
So for the myths and stereotypes, is it just a clip show of things
I've said? Sorry, Well, I would like to Uh. I'd like
to point out that I may have done some people some disservice. Maybe I've
gotten people in their heads when I requested a photograph of a hot wiken.
You know what, because because now I'm asking you to judge yourself, and
that's just that's going down. Here's the thing. I would accept any photo
and I would say that is a hot wiken. There you go. That
clears it up for us then, because you know what's you know what's sexy?
Confidence? Oh, I mean we're I'm already pulling the wheel off the
wick and Highway. I'm already like, no, let's go off to this
crazy place. You know what's sexy? Eyeliner? If it if I had
had a hundred guesses as to what you're gonna say, I would have lost.
Let's let's talk about this thing. Let's let's see what Wicca is and
what what all the herberber is about. Yeah, there's a lot of Herbert
so Wicca is a neopagan religion that can be found in many English speaking countries,
and by neopaganism, let's let's talk about what that is. Uh.
These are religious movements which claim to be derived from various historical pagan beliefs of
pre modern Europe. A lot of them focus on the unity of spirit and
nature of God and man, and a lot of them in terms of paganism,
they have a very clear cut definitions of ethnicity that go along with it
too. Yeah, which is which was interesting, not in a bad way,
I don't think, right, No, I've never I've not seen it
as a I mean, I don't know. And whenever you do have any
kind of ethnic breakdown, you're instantly like, I get kind of kind of
squeamish with it. But I couldn't find anything to support my I can be
like, oh, there it is. That's that's where it is. Well
by by this definition of ethnicity, separating you know, different ethnic groups.
It's I think, doing it just to tell the difference. It's not saying
one group's better than another, which I think is what we get in trouble
with. I love they don't they don't sell jerseys or cool scarves or anything,
so there's no way to tell. They don't compete against each other in
any organized I see, I see sports reference see because I you know,
we don't have any baseball scarves or Yeah. Well I was thinking, I
was thinking like FIFA, because it's pretty international, right, So in my
mind that's why it took me a second to get there. Yeah, because
Americans don't we call it soccer. Soccer. We made up a word run
around. No one else uses it because we made true football was taken.
This this is interesting. Much like voodoo, they don't have a central authority.
Now there are what they're what they call traditions, which function a lot
like DENI dominations, say in the Christian Church. Yeah, but it's it's
not even I don't think that you can even compare it that way too well
either, Like you can't say, oh, a tradition is a denomination of
it's there's there's more to it than that. This is just sort of saying,
if you think of things in these terms that you might be familiar with,
the wickest stuff are gonna look like it this way. Yeah, and
I think some of that makes sense in there. I think as far as
like human behavior, it does. It does share a lot of similarities with
Vodu, just in that these groups are are usually they don't intermingle. It's
not like one um. I mean, and I know I'm using the wrong
word, but let's say sect. You know, one group of Wikins get
used to a very specific style of worship and in the way that they comport
themselves, there's not a lot of intermixing with other groups. And so I
think it's very easy for these groups to become further and further uh separated,
much like you get um you know, from Vodou to uh Louisiana, voodoo
to hoodoo, you know, like those that that kind of trails as people
disperse or and it gets personalized with each group as each group it's were isolated.
Sure, yeah, that's that's a good way of putting it. Um
Wicca is a formally recognized religion, and it gained prominence after the nineteen fifty
one repeal of the last Witchcraft Act in England, so it started in England.
There was still witchcraft on the books in the fifties. Oh yeah,
righteous, Yeah, they're sure, we're uh. And it is a recognized
religion in America. Here's an important thing. Wicca and witchcraft are not the
same thing, right, probably, which probably should have said that, like
before the intro, we should have moved that as far to the front as
possible. Uh. Practitioners of each are often called witches, but not all
Wiccan's practice witchcraft, and not all witches practice wicca, although many times Wiccans
will refer to themselves as witches yep, which it leads to a fair amount
of confusion. Yeah. Well, it's kind of like squares and rectangles.
Yeah, and there's also a real visceral willingness to identify them as witches.
And Wiccas as a religion draws heavily from witchcraft, which we'll get into later.
And and I think that I've I've mentioned this before. I think that
there's also some street cred to be gained from saying you're a witch as opposed
to a Wiccan. Sure, people are less inclined to arf with witches,
but people are very inclined to rf with wickens as as as we may have
proven over the course and this last year, I think high school has done
a disservice to general So to break this down a little bit further, witchcraft
requires no belief in specific gods or goddesses, and there's not a specific spiritual
path that which is practice witchcraft follow for Wicca. Wicca is typically duotheistic worshiping
a mother goddess and a horned God, though the beliefs can range from monotheistic
to polytheistic. Yeah, they can. They'll believe in one god, they
believe in many gods, and depending on tradition, some emphasis is placed on
the goddess or something akin to a Celtic pantheon, or maybe animism or being
an agnostic, and then it starts just running the gamut, you know.
And this is what we're talking about, These these traditions, you know,
it kind of they separate off. They kind of do what they want,
how they feel, what speaks to them. Yeah, and you hear mostly
an empathy with the goddess. I think that's the most common, right,
um. You know, And you can you see bumper stickers and things that
reference the goddess. That's not terribly uncommon. And we'll get into that later
of what tradition that that grew out of and and how that that came to
be, because originally it wasn't so much the big tradition in Wicca wasn't it
didn't have anything to do with the goddess as as the number one, right,
And before we start getting more into the too, the history, let's
let's keep going down the path of to telling you what wick is here.
Yeah, yeah, it's so. It's so easy though, like it's it's
hard to say what it is without going into depth about what it is.
You know, it's hard to give like a nutshell on it. A lot
of do it. A lot of things are intertwined here, like like the
bark of a twisted root that, yeah, I see what you did,
all right. So Wickens celebrate eight main holidays or what they call sabots,
and hold es bots or rituals at the full and new moon. So quite
a bit of revelry during the year, which it's good. Some equinoxes,
some solstices in there. Some Wiccans join a coven or a group of witches,
some work alone and those are called solitaries. And a little fun fact,
multiple covens together is called a grove. I did not know that.
Yeah, that is a fun fact. Here's another fun fact. A bunch
of owls is called a parliament. The murder of ravens, crash of Rhinoceri,
Warren of of rabbits, Stephen of pigs. Now, according to the
Wiccan read that is R E. D E, which is the statement of
the key moral system. In Wicca. Morality is ruled in part through the
statement and it harm none. Do what thou wilt? Now that sounds familiar
to me, does it? What have you heard that before? Maybe my
homeboy, mister alister Crowley. Oh will that's interesting? Do what you will
be the whole of the law, that the old law of Felima there will
uh we'll touch back on the yeah, I think yeah, people'll get back
to mister Crowley. So, uh. Wicca now is not a belief in
black magic or casting spells on others. To calm down, Grandma, the
main tenant is to harm the old bat wha, Grandma, are you tired?
Do you need a nap? No? No, no, Grandma,
We're not not, which is no no, people's court is not on.
No. Matt Locke does not fight, which is Grandma. I love I
love you, I love you. You can you? Will you go to
bed? Will you go to bed? I know there was that one episode
where Jessica Fletcher when in that haunted mansion, but that's not where we're talking
about today. It's next episode, Grandma. It's America's most hated. It's
right, good night, Grandma. I don't know why I thought it was
so funny that the main tenant of wick is to harm no one. Yeah,
don't don't do harm dude, da dude, do it? Do it?
You will as long as it as long as you're not a jack,
keep it in your own backyard. They also emphasize free will, allowing individual
freedom with as little interference as possible. Basically, you do your own thing,
but think of how it affects others, just like a big government.
In their religion, it does sound like the libertarian religion. I was really
getting some of that in there, High Priest Ron Paul. There is a
deep reverence for nature in uh in Wicka and the belief that all objects possess
a spirit which is all connected to each other. And if you leave those
objects for a hundred years. You got yourself at Yoka. Oh there you
go. That's how the corkboard gets old. And I'm stitching them together like
crazy. You really are like I like of Ard Mutt cardboard to get the
connectings. Diva, how's it going by? I heard tales you talked about
the week because I too want to make an understanding. I came right before
the ritualing. I am but ice naked. That's how they do it right
with knives. Is this no moon? Or used the moon? Here is
my moon? Huh? Saying Diva to Maga Jokings, Oh why you are
run from Diva wherever? About the goal? Um? You know you mentioned
the articles that they agreed to in seventy five. And here's a great irony.
This is something that I learned, I mean when I was doing my
research. A really good source for information, I mean good is in gigantic
quote. So here this entire sentence out as a bit of an aside.
We actually we actually got feedback from a listener once. Do you remember when
I just started making up a story about the episode where I said that Superman
was invented during World War Two? As like some I forget what it was.
We had a listener for just as things turn out, pause, stop
listening, like finished a car ride or something right at the end of that
story. And was so impressed with this factoid A superman told a whole bunch
of co workers, and they were like, what is wrong with you?
So I need to put these things up front. You need to listen to
everything about to say before you stop or pause this. Yeah, I felt
really bad about that. Of all the crazy sources of information, I found
a pretty detailed accounting of the Council of American which is in nineteen seventy four.
Who set up there the articles? It's from Jesus as Savior dot com.
Oh, and the website is festooned with screaming skulls and um plenty of
Bible verses saying you know, I can I can see black background with white
lettering, so already I know that it's a chock full of goodness. Yeah
you're you're already like, oh, thank god it's professionals. Yeah. But
here's the thing, Like, while there is tons of and thank them for
color coding, Um, the Bible quotes will be in red type. Um,
you know it's just pretty much screaming that all Wakens are going to hell.
It's it's your bog standard born again lunacy. Great. At least they
include the complete description of everything they're railing against. So as far as a
place to like read the different articles. Wow, I mean, and they're
I mean they're they're only quoting them accurately so that they can then tear them
apart again. But I actually was able just to go through the articles and
everything, and it was it was pretty helpful. Wow. Interesting. So
now I believe in Uh, I believe in Wicca, and I cannot wait
to be counted a Wiccan myself. Thank you, Jesus as Savior dot com.
Thank you. You know what, what what's interesting about Wicka is that
you can be Christian and Wicca. Oh yeah, you can be a Muslim
and Wicca. You know, it doesn't mean just because you you you are
a practicing Wiccan, doesn't mean you can't believe in a Christian God, or
you can't believe in Allah or you know. It's like, yeah, there's
the easiest religion there is, Yeah, there there is. Uh. I
actually had some research on this. This is kind of something that I was
going to bring to the to the table is um Trinitarian wickans Uh, it's
the Trinitarian tradition, so that that sect or denomination, whatever word you want
to use, that won't quite describe it. The Trinitarians is is a Christian
wicker sect and they they equate their trinity directly to the Biblical Trinity and just
sort of kind of bridge those two religious beliefs. And it's it's a popular
movement in WICCA. And it you know, it's as you can imagine,
they struck up a fair amount of sparks, but a very recent even for
a Wicca, very recent. Um they started in ninety nine, I believe,
and um, I think it was our two thousand and two was when
they really uh they adopted the name Trinitarian tradition. But yeah, it's it's
it's not I almost wonder it's the same thing as like any of those very
calm, passive religious systems that just make people crazy by doing nothing but their
own thing, right, just because because their their approach is to not get
in people's faces, people bring the face getting to them. One of the
core principles of of Wicca is exactly that that you you don't take this religion
and put it in other people's faces. You don't try and like convert the
masses. You do your own thing, and you let other people do their
own thing. And if they decide they like WICCA, hey, welcome in.
That's great. Yeah, we'll boil up a caldron for you. If
they don't, then good on them. Let them, let them go worship
Jesus. Yeah, who cares? Man? Yeah, And I think it's
especially in the United States, no one likes a reasonable person. Nothing will
incite fury faster than someone being completely reasonable. I mean, it makes it
crazy. You can't get much more topical than that. Dude. Oh man,
let's talk about the history a little bit. Yeah, let's dig into
it the since it's a recent religion, that's that's come onto the scene,
and it's debatably recent. But maybe we'll get into that a little bit in
here in this section too. Uh. And we're talking since the nineteen thirties.
Yeah, that that it's been bobbing around in people's backyards and groves.
Uh, it's got a it's got a pretty d tailed history to it.
People are are documenting what's going on, and like a lot of the main
founders or the or the people that were involved heavily in the you know,
the first big covens or traditions have just recently started dying. So I mean,
it's easy to find a lot of details in this is what I'm trying
to say, Yeah, exactly, And what we're gonna do is is try
to hit some highlights, because we could be here all day talking about you
know, this is our first four hour episode. Yeah, so's trap in.
Yeah, get comfy, get one of those big gulps, get a
get a big gulp. I hope you're a trucker, blurry photos. Hope
you're a trucker. We've always considered ourselves to a friend of the road warrior,
the best companion when you're doing a double nickeled on the blurry photos,
once again asking you Wickens out there, keep the shiny side up, dirty
side down. Oh man, wicken Truckers like that a lot. Blessed be
most well. I was going to take that a different way, but I
think I think you encapsulated then. Yeah, anyway, it's a detailed history.
We're gonna hit real, real high highlights. Bear bear with us on
it, and uh, it's easy to find this whole history out there.
There's plenty of pages that have information and stuff. So if this doesn't lift
your skirt, then you can get out there and do your own skirt.
Lifting your own skirt, all right. Uh. Nineteen thirties, not going
to jail for you. Agains in England began pride You're worth it. Though,
groups in England began practicing a form of which cult based on books and
theories put forth by the Egyptologist to Margaret Murray, I like that name because
that's a lose lose in a religious in a Christian religious society. MM,
which is bad. Cult's bad. We're a which cult? Victims of marketing
early on. He's not an ass, He's not a jag. He's like
an ass jag. Yeah, which cult? Those people they were, they
were really risking it then. So they drew from many different sources. And
when I say many, I mean think of a source and they probably got
something. What did you what do you have? Well? I was thinking
about Alister Crowley, Well, boom, think of another source where you go?
I was thinking about the Chucky Cheese band. That's that's in there,
the plastic those plastic things. There's something Explosion. That was the name of
the band in Chucky Cheese Pepperoni Explosion. I mean they they they may have
you know, music, Music's great for the soul. So uh, they
drew from things like druidry, freemasonry, mythology, folk magic, and the
list goes on and on and on. I mean, and I think they
were they were taking stuff from and putting it into this witch cult. Basically,
I love the name. In the forties, a recent initiate named Gerald
Gardner founds the brickett Wood Coven and then initiates a later notable Wiccan Dorine Valiante.
Now these are two big names that if you're going to remember some names,
feel move. Uh, Gerald Gardner and Dorine Valiante. Jerald Gardners is
pretty much famous for being I think they call him the father of modern witchcraft.
Ye he got WICCA relay going on its feet and into the public eye.
I should say, uh, gosh, it's it's It would be so
easy to spiral into any any road or side path right here. Um,
but we're going to try to keep going focus nineteen fifty one. Like we
said before, the Witchcraft Act of seventeen thirty five is repealed. Wow,
yeah, how did they even find the parchment upon which it was written?
What was the witch finder general? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Matthew
Hopkins, he's probably spinning in his grave. Oh man, he was so
mad. He finally got that legislation pushed through. Gardner and others began bringing
wicca to the public. Though it's referred to by a few different names,
one of which being old Religion. It's not really referred to as wicca at
this time, although that has floated around. Give me that old religion.
And then on into the fifties, Gardener's tradition became the main kind of of
wicca practiced in England, and then later it's called which you might hear a
lot, gardener Ian wicca. So the Gardenerian tradition is a big one that's
out there, and that that has to do with how it was practiced,
what what kind of things he brought, you know, to the tradition and
uh, and how they did things. Some of the things will will bring
up later which are pretty funny. In the nineteen sixties, wicca became the
name of the religion. It kind of caramelized into a nice wicket to a
rich wicket A nice nice title there. Uh. Nineteen sixty four, Gerald
Gardner died and on into the sixties, the British tabloids started spreading negative portrayals,
but WICCA kept growing, and then you get a couple of folks named
Robert Cochrane and Alex Sanders became prominent leaders at the time, and then WICCA
spreads on over to America and austral That's a hell of a jump. I
you know what I think, England Australia. I think it makes sense.
But because of while the thieves and no, I mean Mayor du Wills.
Yeah, because because it's it's England's thug children. We're like the little We're
like the younger siblings, you know, and like England's like a rebellious teenagers,
like, hey, I found this totally cool religion. We're like,
I cannot wait to hear about it. Cigarettes. That's right. In the
nineteen seventies you start getting books on how to become wickan get published. Oh
man, And was there ever a better time than like the sixties and seventies
for something like this to take off right right? Yeah? And now in
a culture in the in the eighties, Dorian Valiente, along with Stuart and
Janet Farrr and Scott Cunningham promote the craft and self initiation. I think primarily
up to this point for traditions you had to be initiated into them, and
by that I mean you had to be invited, you know, to or
you could request to be initiated. But it was getting kind of close to
one of those like Freemason kind of kind of videos kind of that was that
was I think like in there in the the evolution of this system, that
was the tipping point between between a religious belief or like another in a long
chain of secret society, right right. So um Dorian Valiente and the others,
they're really pushed for Wicked to be more accessible to everyone. So they
said, it doesn't matter if if you don't get invited or initiated into a
Kevin, you can practice this yourself. You know you are wicka wick is
you. It's it's great. Uh. In the nineties, Wa of course
comes into pop culture with movies that that were less than kind to it.
Yeah, but some got on a lot of radars. Yeah, I mean
like The Craft for example, not a great movie, pretty great soundtrack.
Yeah, Uh and in neither of those facts helped the Wicking community, because
again, it couldn't be any farther from what Wicka actually is, Yeah,
because it wasn't in the craft. Didn't they hurt each other with the casting
spells on each other. They were texting and cursing, and they're like floating
around and they're all like angry goth girls. Yeah, Like they couldn't possibly
have been more antithetical to what Wicka actually is. Yeah, but got Wika
into a lot more people's forefront there um. And then in nineteen ninety nine
Dorine Valiantate died and and today wick It continues to grow. And just like
Vodoo and the voodoos and all that stuff, it's it's hard to put a
number on how many people practice the religion because there's no central authority. You're
not beholden to, you know, a central power or figure. So so
nobody's going to track you government studies out of your life better, but he's
going to spou on your spells spell spies. This fall on Fox, there's
not a raven sitting up there on every branch that's right, just watching you.
Um Man. That sucks. I really blew that I could have saved
spell spies. Now you could my watch. Now here's here's a fun part.
And we're getting back to an old ac here. Gerald Gardner borrowed heavily
from the works of a famous Alistair Crotly. Oh did he? He did?
Many of the rites and material that he produced is we're just embellishments of
Crowley works. Oh. And in fact, a lot of people will say,
well, it's not even up for debate because it's such a blatant rip
off of Crowley stuff that you can't you can't even debate that. It's not
no, no, no, it's do what you want be the whole of
the law. I totally invented it. Do thou walt value? Those are
our blurry photos, breaking bads, tea shirts, those available for sale trademark
shall be the whole of the law. Bitch money. So Dorian Valiente called
him out for this, and when he when he tried to introduce new things,
saying oh, this is something that I wrote, She's like, wait
a minute, no, one's not right. That's Aleister Crowley's stuff. And
he didn't like that. And then after after Gardner kept pushing Wicca more and
more into the public eye, maybe maybe for personal gain. Valiente didn't like
that it was getting getting out there and not she She felt like it was
cheapening what it was. Yeah, and then when he tried to push for
less female power in there, basically pulled out some of the old witchcraft crap
laws. Uh, she didn't. She didn't like that, of course,
and the two had a falling out. She kind of split from the coven,
which is a hell of a maneuver to try to try to limit the
role of women in witchcraft. You'd think tough, tough move, tough move
balls ballsy dick move, big dick move. Asked Jack move, asked Jack
move. So. Valiante later joined Robert Cochrane's coven, but she soon called
him out for his maliciousness toward other covens and for his apparent rampant drug use.
Okay, he used a lot of drugs for his rituals Okay, and
then died from that wow. Shortly after she left his coven to practice solitarily.
Well, that's a that's a tough thing. I mean, she was
super into it and no one was wiccan enough for her. Yeah, this
Valiantee was was kind of a badass. And she she wasn't taken no crap.
She wasn't going to let people get away with it. She took it
really seriously. And she I mean to me, she was the one that
kind of pushed WICCA to be what it is today. You know, got
it as as a real religion instead of just like you said, secret cult
or just some British richies getting together and yeah, and on streams and getting
naked. Right, when you have an organization and there are lots of religious
belief systems that involve psychotropics occasionally or something like that, But when you have
a guy who's saying no, no, no, a lot of these rituals
require us to all do these drugs, you are you are just right on
the doorstepubb of the sex cult. Yeah, yeah, the drugs show up
and then it's a sex cult like a week later, believe me. Then
through this God's so exhausting and sexual and it starts small. Hey you guys,
um, I know that we were supposed to be welcoming the new Moon,
but I brought a sixer and and everyone's like, sure, it sounds
great, that sounds fun. And then I'm the bad guy for shutting it
down because I don't want to be in a sex cult. And in three
months time you go from cores light to sex cult. So the short history
of Wicked, like we said, it's just rife with in fighting, fracturing,
taking from other sources. But it's a new and growing belief system super
part for the course. Sure it seems to have stabilized into a religion though
that it's open to change and very much open to personalization. It rules the
Renaissance fair with an iron fist, and it has it has an emphasis on
doing good and respecting the earth. Yeah, which I mean to me,
that's that's something that a lot of people should get behind, right, I'm
I'm I'm far more in favor of that than a more populist. No,
it's our toy to break. However, I can feel like I was told
I had dominion over everything, So guess what, styrofoam everything. I will
always I will always hang out with the Wiccans in that one good good that's
a start, that's right, and then sex called. Hey, I'm playing
by their rules. I'm not in charge. Let's talk about the practices of
of Wick a little bit. Yeah, things they do and use. First
of all, let's let's point out there's no sacred text like say, the
Christian Bible or the Koran or any of that. You can't pin them down
on scripture. However, Gerald Gardner did cobble together a grimoire of spells and
rituals that he called the Book of Shadows and passed it down to followers to
add and adapt to as they pleased. And uh, these these are popular
for use so as they include recipes for spells and rituals things. How you
know, it's like a how how two book? Yeah, but uh,
it's I don't think that it's meant to be like this is this is the
whole lawn you If you don't follow it, you're going straight to wick a
Hale. What do you want to bet right now? I'm gonna pull up
Amazon. What do you want to bet? There's a Wicca for Dummies book?
Oh well, I don't know if i'd take that bed because I saw
that book. Oh you did. Yeah, I'm still kind of it's kind
of crap. I want to know how much it costs? Oh my god.
Okay, well yes it exists. I've lost a little more faith in
humanity and it's thirteen ninety eight in paperback. But they do have a book
of Shadows that is again personalized to whatever traditional or coven that you're part of,
or you yourself, you know, whatever you have found to work for
you, that's you. You add to it, you adapt to it.
That's something that that has stayed true since Gardener's original. So the Garden of
Gardeners, Garner Ran the original Garner the g the gar Original, the gar
Animal ritual forms of magic, akin to folk magic, are practiced on certain
occasions. Not it's not like you get up and you cast spells all day.
That's not Yeah, that's not what you do, notably, certainly not
like the Krolean you know, three month preparation you know for a demon.
Yeah, and then you get tired of it, and yeah, they give
up. I love that. It's my favorite part the Sabots and Esbots is
when when they will do these ceremonies, these rituals. So here's some of
the tools that they use in these ceremonies. They have what's called an athame,
which is a black handled dagger that's used to direct energy. They have
a bowling, which is a white handled dagger which they used to cut chords
and herbs and candles and such. It's the it's the workingman's dagger, all
right, dagger, the working wigan. Uh. They use wands. These
are traditionally made from wood, although they can be made from other things.
But this is more for more of a gentle invocation. It invites, it
encourages, as opposed to the more masculine dagger, which directs and thrusts,
thrusts. Then they have the old pentacle yep, which is used in evocation.
It's representative of Earth, and that is the the five pointed star,
also known in some circles as a pentagram. Right. Uh, it's it's
a pentagram circumscribed by a circle. Yep. Not the same as the old
upside down pentagram which is used in satanism or representative of the head of the
devil. Right and for the record, foreshadowing maybe a future episode, satanism
as opposed to devil worship, which are not the same things at all.
Yep, yep. So you know, I'm just I'm just I'm just dropping
one little nugget out there and we'll pick it up in a future podcast.
These are like breadcrumbs. Back to the old candy shack jjibread house. That's
the one. You know how everything worked out well for those kids. Just
trying to make women look bad man, that's right. Sexism wasn't a witch
at all. She Nope, trying to help them woman of the woods.
They have chalices. These represent the feminine principle combines with the athama to form
the vultron. Vultron. The wicked vultron is your mistake because you paused exactly
the best time. That's it's the masculine feminine principle, evocative of procreation.
Oh, I get it, I get it. Then they have um,
I bet you there. I'll bet there's a wick in somewhere that grabs like
a chalice and the dagger's like, hey, what's going on here? Whoa?
That guy does not last long. They also have the following tools.
A bessem, which is a broomstick, a cauldron, candles, incense,
an altar. There's a lot of a lot of stuff that goes into to
it tool wise. Now here's a fun. Jared Gardner pushed for practicing what
he called skyclad or nude. Hey baby, you you want to go get
skyclad? Practicing like this is optional and it's been sensationalized quite a bit,
meaning that media portrayal of Wick as a bunch of naked right, we'll get
that to the in the the factor fiction portion for the rituals. If you
don't want to do it skyclad, then the least you can do as a
as a good self respecting wiccan just just do it just Yeah, a thongular
incantation is less pleasing than skyclad, but thong cloud is still pleasing to the
goddess. The least you can do is practice in all natural attire. So
this is no you know, mixed synthetics or anything like that, which you
know if you look at your Bible, right, eggs exactly. Thank you
Leviticus for your long list of things we're not allowed to do that we only
pay attention to one of Thanks Leviticus for your long list of how we're going
to hell. Yeah. Uh so, here's a here's a big one,
the Wheel of the Year. We've mentioned this before. Let's go through it
just a bit. These are this is the seasonal festivals, the sabots,
Yeah, that make up this wheel. Get out your calendars and your sharpies.
So let's start with your friend and mine so one. Ah. Yeah.
October thirty first, it's the eve of the Celtic New Year, celebrates
ancestors and harvesting, livestock and death. It's the time when the veil is
thinnest between Earth and the other end. Buginig bug Bugin, Bughini, Bughini,
Bughini, Bughini, Bugini, Bougini, bougini buginiy Bogini bouging like him
doing it. You know how far you win? Yeah, I know,
it's it's the time of year when you don't you don't even have to collect
cal baschar. Oh no, yeah, then we got youle yep, hello,
not. You can't say the word you'll without me autonomically, like launching
into the Chevy Chase is weird? Stammering you a log speech from from Christmas
vacation. And I won't do it only because I know I'm gonna do it
so much. And when we get to December, this is the winter solstice,
right, it's the longest and darkest nine Man. I have got I
have got to and man, I'm telling you write emails. I have got
to get a girlfriend by the longest night of the year, because it's just
so cool because as a dude, if you remember that and and make that
into like a December Valentine's Yeah, yeah, that's huge points, huge points.
That's yeah, that's its celebrating it is. It's skyclad. A lot
of would skyclad bring out some candles? Yeah, get your get your cauldron,
bublin. See, this is this is what we need to get to
as a society. We need to get to the point of like, well,
everyone who who lives in functionally the Northern hemisphere, you know, like
Western society, regardless of their intrinsic religious beliefs. Christmas just happens and everyone
gets behind it because it's just fun. You don't have to believe any of
it. But Christmas can still be a lot of fun for people. We
need to get there with the Pagan and Wiccan traditions as well, because you
can be a ton of fun. It can be a great holiday that everyone
can enjoy, really could, man. It's it also is indicative of the
rebirth of the sun. That's why they that's why it's celebrated. Then we
get to the next one called Immolg. I have not heard of Immolg.
It's it's funny because it's got to be in there where yeah find it so
also known as Candlemas. I have heard of Candlemus. This is February second,
so uh a groundhog Day step aside, Yeah, uh this sorry,
MLK, there's a there's a new holiday in February. This is the first
stirrings of spring, and within the Triple Goddesses celebrated candle miss in mulg Okay,
moving forward on on around the circle here the wheel. Clearly clearly they
never lived in Chicago because there is no spring stirring on the second of February
whatsoever. It is quite thoroughly not stirring. There's a there's a lot of
seasonal depression stirring exactly the next one we get heard of this one Ostara.
Oh, we have discussed this, the vernal equinox. Yeah, we had
a little a little podcast that touched on this. We sure did. This
was a really really interesting one, light dark, in balance, and this
marks the beginning of spring for them. Yeah, and this is the one
that this is the This has got a lot of Easter in it. Yeah,
we don't need to dance around it. I can just say it.
So if you if you're more interested in that listen to our Easter episode.
We we go into a star a lot. Yeah, there's a there's a
lot, a lot to it. Then we get Beltane, which is May
First aka May Day. Yep, it's the Celtic first day of summer and
the bell part of it comes from ball Or, the god of fire,
which we talked about in our Irish Legends episode. Man the shot caller himself.
We're going to be in trouble in a few years because we're really good
at this. Everything's just going to trip over everything else. There's not gonna
be a room. Every episode's a clip show. Then we've got Litha aka
Midsummer. This is a fun one. This is the summer solstice. It
celebrates the sun, celebrates abundance and the longest today. So this is when
you uh skyclad in skinny dip. Yeah, there's oh man skyclad dip.
I might Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna make a real effort to start
incorporating these holidays into my year. The next one, we get Lunasa aka
Lamas Lorenzo Lamas August first. This is harvest time. You harvest the wheat,
you harvest the corn. It's based on the Celtic Lou, Old Lou
of the long Arm. Yeah once again, heart throb, you're so good
at this. The last one on the wheel, we've got mayben aka Modrin.
This is the tumnal equinox. Again, light and dark is in balance.
And this is when you harvest fruit and celebrate that. Yeah, that's
your wheel of the year. Boom. Those are your eight sabots that are
celebrated in a wicked tradition. Mark your calendars because I know who I am.
Elements are important to Wickens. Air is representative of the east, and
the color yellow fire is south, and red water is west, and blue
earth is north and green and then you've got the old threefold law. This
one might sound a little familiar, but actions have thrice multiplied repercussions. Whatever
you do comes back on your threefold. See that's all your invest in good
actions then, right, best best return you're going to get, exactly,
Dave. Yeah, let's dispel some myths. Oh man, let's let's talk
up some stereo times. Yeah, okay, right off the bat. I
know we've said it before. It absolutely bears repeating. Not devil worshippers,
No, it's not. It is not a form of Satanism that is false.
Yep, false as false can false. False. Wickens believe Satan is
a Christian creation and they don't follow that theology. So do you know why
they believe that, actually believe what that Satan's a Christian creation? Because it
is? Yeah, because that's entirely true. It's the same reason that they
believe their car needs unleaded gas because it is Satan junks up the works.
Have you ever seen when Satan gets in your system? Oh man, that's
all marbarator. All my valves are clogged with sin. That alternator won't turn
over cause a Satan. What's that squeaking sam? Probably a Satan in the
radiator? So yeah, yeah, yeah, get that one out of your
head. Yep. That's not devil worship. Not nor is it satanism.
Nope nor nor are those the same. Right, here's one. We can
sacrifice animals, now, false, dude. The main thing is no harm.
Yeah, don't do harm to stuff. And that's and that's and once
again a little more noble than say the Judeo Christian perspective that has lots of
rules about people, not so much caring about the animals. And thank you
wickens, thank you for this sure, because yeah, just do no harm
and then put a period on the sentence covers everything. There you go,
there's no room for a lawyer to get in. I don't like that,
wickens. No one to shut up instead of like having mouth diarrhea. But
it's like, do no harm. But I but if you're gonna do anything
for somebody, then maybe you should do some harm to and do you.
Guys have good stuff, but it do no harm. That doesn't not disinclude
people who don't want to already not be involved with this is hoping that there's
so many double negatives in there that nobody's going to and then they sneak out
with the money. Here's one. Wicca is an ancient religion or ancient No,
oh, that's false. That's pretty false. Many aspects of paganism are
present in Wicca. Ye, but the amalgamation of what the religion is today
happened in the last one hundred years. Yeah. It borrows very heavily from
a lot of source, a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff.
But it is definitely a twentieth century it's a it's it's a kid of the
twentieth century. Yeah, you can't. You can't say this is derived directly
from this religion that was practiced in the North of Ireland. You can,
but some of that is in there. So just to say it's it's straight
up ancient. How about this which is our evil? Falls That's that's a
dumb one. Yeah, that's just like I mean, I don't know,
that's that's like saying flora's are evil. Some of some floras are terrible.
It's true, some floras are terrific. I happen to work with the best
flora. Well you haven't met them all I been. Uh, yeah,
this is this is just dumbly false. Um wickens oppose negative harmful magic.
Yep, just straight up to say that which is our evil is probably a
smear campaign by opponents. Yeah, absolutely, or people that are very much
judgy and it makes them feel better and whatever belief they have, exactly.
And it's funny. This is something that I came across when I was doing
my research. Um, lots of the smaller homebrew Wiccan websites you know for
craft craft, Yeah, craft craft. Uh, they that's really good.
The more I think about it, the more I like a lot of them
have a link that's just it's like like they've all had this same experience and
they've all had to put up some sort of like click here if you're if
you're a born again Christian, dear born again Christian, we do not worship
Satan. We are not here to thwart you. We do not worship devils
or demons. We I mean, like it's they're like, we're glad we
pope you take the time to explore our website and learn more about our belief
system. Might be like they they there's it's such a common thing that you
just know it's because they just get hammered. Yeah, and a cool people.
The hammer of ignorance, Yeah, it ain't. It ain't cool.
I will it ever break? Yeah? If never never. If if only,
if only everyone of every faith was just as as relaxed about it as
the Wickens, that would be great. That would be that would be phenomenal.
I think the Hammer of Ignorance was forged in the heart of a dying
star. Don't you dare, don't bring thor into this. I knew you
were gonna I knew you know. It's like the evil twin Hammer. Yeah,
instead of being a badass Muelner lightning, summoning force of awesome and just
mules one more for you. All right, wiccans cast spells. Oh no,
I know you're probably your your your got instinct is to say no.
But they do, they do. It's true. It's true. Some don't,
uh, some do, but a lot do. Spell work is not
a focus of WICCA, but spells most certainly can be employed, and a
lot of times are with the rituals and the sabots. And this is also
this ties into the threefold ball. You know, if when I cast a
spell, if it's come back on you, it can. So if you
find yourself at the Bristol Renfair and suddenly find yourself transfixed with one woman,
should probably castle spell on you. Now it's like twenty percent Wicka, eighty
percent Bodice, but that spell is still got cast. I you know what,
I'm going to break that down some more. Okay, I would say
I'd say fifteen percent Wicka, eighty percent Bodus, two and a half percent
beer, and then two and a half percent of those candied cashews. Oh
yeah, that's a really good Those are really good. They'll put you in
a good mood. Yeah, they're hot. Cinnamony. Yep, good,
you like them? Hot nuts were in our minds. We were both dancing
around it. So I was dancing around mine sky clad. Uh so that's
wicked for you. Yeah, in a in a skyclad nutshell. Oh man,
how great is that? You like it? What do you think?
You know what? I honestly find it to be one of the most rational
religious systems. Yeah. I think it's they're they're from from the outside here
looking in, looks real, laid back, tolerant. I will go so
far as to say that, and I this galls me, but I regret.
I regret perhaps some disparaging comments I may have made about wicked ignorance,
you know, And that's how But you know what, they're a good group
of people and they're not in They're not fucking with anybody's shit at all.
They have a noe ucking policy. Yeah. Yeah, it's built in.
Yep. I know it can lose points being in the last hundred years and
not you know, steeped in this mysticism of the ages and whatnot, like
like your your Big three or whatever, but one of your store bought religions.
This at least they've had time to get it right and figure out what
works and what's good. Yeah. So I have respect for that. I
respect a lot of the stuff that they're bringing to the table. Especially they're
just not not harming anything. And I like the interconnectedness and the respect for
nature. And yeah, I dig it. It seems real positive. So
so good Aya Wickens. Yeah, hooray for the Wickens. Now it's time
to offer up some rituals of our own. Yeah, one that we've it's
been long established and and I'm hoping it comes back threefold. We've we've opened
up the circle. That's right, the pun circle, and we're stepping inside
right now. That's right. We've we've got a pun for the North,
We've got a pun for the South, we've got a pun for the East,
and we even have a pun for the west if it if it harm,
pun do which you will? I went first last time? All right,
all right, I'm ready. Um, Early in Wickes history, there
there was this potential for schism. You know, there was the Gardenerian Wiggins.
There was another sect that was actually started. It was a German um
and it was based mostly on classical music that I'm employed. Um, Large
Viking women with horned helmets and that was the Wagnerian Wiggins. Oh yeah,
wow, Yeah, have a that. You get a lot of mythology and
there. Yeah, you get some four gets get in there, get a
ring cycle and not a lot of mules. Yeah. Wow, okay,
okay, Well I've got a I've got a bluegrass music store for witches.
Oh I love this. You ever, you ever, you've ever been here.
It's a bluegrass music store for witches called Wickan and a grinning. I
like that a lot. I like that. I've got an entire clothing line
that is uh, it's it's for active practitioners of WICCA who enjoy being outdoors
all natural. Right, Uh, it's pretty natural okay. And uh it's
it's uh it helps draw the sweat off the body. It's it's it's wickaware.
Uh. And the the brand, the brand name is is Skyclad.
Wow, it feels like you're wearing nothing at all, nothing at all,
stupid sexy planters. That's funny because I just not too long. About a
month ago, I got a shirt. Uh, it's it's a it's a
workout shirt and it said something about wicking away the sweat and I'd never heard
that term. Before, but I knew what it meant, you know,
it was one of those things like, oh yeah, this makes sense in
this context. So h nice, nicely done, thank you, all right,
I got one here. Okay, this is an event when a young
girl becomes a woman on an equinox or a solstice a subat mitzvah. I
like that. That's good that Bart breaks it in. So there you go.
Yeah, there we go. We got us. Some got some puns
rolling out there for you, am, some puns them, some wicked wicken
puns, wicked wickens. Dave, there's a there's one more sabot that I
think we should add to the old wheel. I agree. I agree.
It's a it's a pretty thorough incantation, but one that does need to be
done regularly to respect the gods. Right. It's called listener. Man.
I feel so good to have mail back. Oh man, I'm so sorry
our mail just crapped out, and we honest September maybe we're just quiet self
loaders, but we're like, okay, well, I guess yeah, because
nobody cares. We thought that people just weren't sending stuff. Yeah, it
turns out our mail was just going to a black hole that we're we're still
trying to get back, but I don't think we're going to get it back
at this point. I doubt it. So if you've set up a new
new system, if you sent us anything between I don't know, say like
September fifth in October first, sure, anything between those two days. If
you sent us something, will you please resend it? Because we love puns,
we love reading your stuff, and uh, the last thing we want
is anyone to think that we got stuff that we didn't acknowledge, right,
I just thought we were suddenly unimportant to you for a mom So we've we've
we've since fixed it. So now we get all of all of our emails.
But and you even get a success message now when when you sent afore
proving that it worked. So let's let's start out actually with a Facebook message
that let's go to Facebook. This is something that that I dropped the ball
on. I owed this back from early in September and totally dropped the ball
on it. But we got some cool trivia from our listener Matt oh Yeah,
who has some trivia from the Shadow People episode. Loved that episode.
He says, in the late nineteen sixties before the band Black Sabbath was known
as Black Sabbath, they were a blues rock band that went by the name
Earth. While they were still called Earth, their drummer Geezer Butler claims he
awoke one night to find a black figure standing at the foot of his bed
staring at him, and when he got up to confront it, it disappeared.
Later after he told singer Ozzy Osbourne his story, the two decided to
write a song about it, and they named this song they wrote Black Sabbath,
eventually taking the name for the band as well. I gotta tell you
that story had me at a British dude named Geezer. I love that.
That's awesome. Yeah, isn't that cool? A cool bit of trivia.
Thanks Matt for saying that's that's awesome. Your metal cred is legit. It's
sterling. Ozzy is creeping his way into many episodes for us. If he
was here right now, he'd say I was, and and he'd mean it
and you deserve it, and we would not and say, yes, you
deserve it. We got a lot of cool information from our friend Jeff.
Yeah, yeah, he uh has some amazing stories about his family in the
Philippines. Uh, and stories that his grandmother told them. Uh, it
turns out that Oswong's asswangs. However you like it, I think I've made
my choice clear. Uh, that that they they congregate, that they that
they they form small groups, that they have a leadership structure. Uh,
it's it's fascinating. Among the cool things that we learned, there's whole villages
that transform into ass wings, and the first one to transform is called the
monogol. I hope I'm saying that or uh Menal maybe Menanagal. I think
no, no, no, no, no, I think it's Menanagal.
But uh, he would sever himself or herself at the hips. Um one
cool ways that you can actually kill this guy by salting the bottom half so
that they can't reattach makes sense. But this guy, uh, this particular
asswang feeds upon fetuses, so it would it would kind of clots way up
houses and um use its tongue to kind of burrow into a pregnant woman's stomach.
Boh wow, Yeah, that's that's pretty messed up stuff. That's that's
spooky. And and so it's this this really interesting story where these people are
fleeing from the monomagal. The guy cuts the monomagal's tongue off so it can't
feed on his wife's stomach. They flee. They try to hide in a
house. It's not going to be strong enough to keep the aswangs out.
They keep running, and then they hear a crying in the woods, and
the woman, being pregnant particularly susceptible to the sound of a crying child,
said no, we can't leave a baby in the woods. Oh, bad
news. Not a baby. It's a chanak. Oh, it's a it's
another kind of a changeling that will lure travelers away. And it kind of
turns into a little demon that the skin turns black. Oh, man,
And so you just have to to They just end up hiding until the sun
rises. Man, with a long, crappy night. That's an awesome story,
Thank you, Jeff. Yeah and yeah so and he also mean he
hits us up with all the a couple of the other kinds of asswangs and
black magic that is still practiced to this day in the Philippines. His grandma
sounds like she's pretty got a lot of cool story. Yes, you should
get her on here. She's seen some ship man, yea, she really
has. Jeff also says that he was apparently victimized by a white lady,
which is a type of haunting. When he was little, he used to
sleep talk and would freak out his mom, and so they went to a
shaman to see what was going on. The shaman had a bowl of oil,
dripped a white candle over it and it formed into the shape of a
woman. That's that's pretty uh yeah and spooky. The candle also didn't burn
black, which that signified the color of the haunting that was going on.
So he gave Jeff a coin which was dipped in the same oil, told
him to tie it into his shirt with a rubber band before going to sleep,
and Jeff said it worked. He said he stopped sleep talking same night,
and I guess he wasn't haunted from then on. See, And that's
fascinating, Like the so often that these uh these full gramedies shamanistic things they
work. Yeah, should they should do more research on that man. And
apparently that wasn't the only uh shamanistic encounter that that worked for Jeff and his
family, because he said back in two thousand and seven, back to his
Grandma was acting strange and tick bang, she was actually a wicker person.
It's right. She was acting a little strange, but went to a shaman
to see if if he could help. Next day apparently was completely back to
normal, sorted her ride out. Yeah. So, uh, it's really
interesting what this folk magic can do for you. I think science would argue
that it is mind over matter. Yeah. Uh, and and of course
there's an argument to be made with that. But in the end, if
it works, if works, yeah, you know, right, yeah,
yeah, there's a point of like, screw it, moving on, moving
on, Let's let's go kill some ass wings. Get the salt. That's
that's very awesome, Jeff, thank you for sharing those with us. It's
a lot of cool information. The Filipino folklore is is just chalk full of
cool stuff. It really is cool. Sticko, what else we got in
the bag? We got we got something from our friend Bob Peyton ball.
Uh. He says, how about this as an answer to the black eyed
kids phenomenon, it's an alien drinking game. You know, a couple aliens
are sitting around drinking anti freeze or whatever. One that's why they come here.
One alien says the other I bet you can get that lady in that
house to let you in, and the other alien says, I bet I
can. And to make sure you believe me, you can come along and
hang out behind me, just kind of keep your head down and let me
do all the talking. Then they both decide that if they get in,
then it's anal probes and springhill Jack's laps for everyone. I think that is
as probably an explanation as any other out there. Oh, oh, get
bob, best possible explanation ever. It's actually great because, yeah, I
love the thought because they're just doing it to f with us, you know.
Oh. He even sets up that there's the creepy kid in the back
who does well, he's just making sure it all happens. Oh that's awesome,
great, awesome, Thank you Bob. That's that's a great explanation.
What do you got, Flora, Well, I'll tell you what we've got.
We've got a lot since this new system went in, and since we
have to catch up on stuff, we're not going to get to everyone this
week, but rest assured we were working through all of them in the next
week or two. Oh man, I've got something fascinating. Yeah, from
our friend gray Cat, fancy feast, Fancy Gray Cat has hoisted us on
our own petard quite thoroughly, it turns out, and he's right that a
year ago when we recorded our episode about which, as we said, whoever
came up with a name for a month of October shows would be named the
King of Halloween. Oh well, and he came up with Blurry for October,
and so the coronation has become. Yeah, the coronation has become And
it's true. You were going to get your very own, one of a
kind MS paint certificate that only you get. No one else will ever get
this. There's no one else who will ever get this unique twenty thirteen edition
King of Halloween Certificate. Hail to the King, Baby m TC, baby
Mama, So well done in congratulations, gray Cat, You've earned it a
year later. And you know what, it's because he was doing the research.
He was digging to the old episodes, picking up nuggets. I thought
that was liter How about slinking through the back alleys, great cats Catta wallen
Ah nice um. One thing that you need to know about the MS paint
certificate process, anyone of our listeners who has received one of these could tell
you that they may not necessarily be the most timely things you'll ever receive,
but you will receive it before October draws to a close. Because it just
takes me a while. It's I don't even have a good reason. It
just takes a while. Dave. I've got some bad news though. What's
that great cat is so meticulous in researching. I can't see how that could
possibly bite me directly on the ass. Well, tell me more, fancy
feast has put you in the penalty box. What Here's what was brought up.
Here's here's what's coming up before the judge. Here in the episode on
reptilians, Stecco said, the kraken was a reptile. According to my seconds
long Google search, it was a sea monster, which was probably a cephalopod
of some sort. Oh, oh, I'm going to the penalty to box.
Excuse me? May it please the court? Yeah? Objection, your
honor? No, you got to start with me. It please the court?
Yeah? If it please the court, your honor, than I'd like
to approach the bench, sidebar, sidebar. I think I can argue this
in a court a lot. But you know what, I'm not gonna I'm
not gonna waste the court's time here because wasting it now, I mean Decco,
my marine herpetology is pretty tight, and uh I knows me my cephalopods
when I see them. But but it's you know what, you know what,
I'm gonna agree. I'm gonna agree with Craig Hat. Every cracking that's
that has been seen except for the Harry Hamlin one. That was the only
cracking I was referring to the only one I've ever seen. Every cracking out
there looks like some sort of giant, disgusting octopus type thing. I mean,
I not even a squid. Like I'm gonna clash the Titans man original
style. Thank you very much, Harry. I was very upset the crack
and looked like that in the original Clash of the time. Where are you?
I was impressed. It was an awesome toy. Also, my friend
across the street had it. It was really great. Because it's fine,
I will take it, and I'll tell you why, because not only have
I been taken to the mat by Great Hat, I've been knocked on my
fanny by a listener named Annie. Please do the rest of the podcast and
Ryan rhyming couplets. I would love to do it and rhyme, but we
do not have the time. No, Okay, rhyming is over now.
Uh no, because Annie has taken me to task, apparently for incorrectly quoting
my Fair Lady, which is really galling for two reasons. One, I
love my fair Lady too, I'm almost guaranteed to have died up. I
don't even remember the quote to which he refers, but I know me,
and accurate quoting is not in my lex It's not a thing I'm good with.
So that's two convictions. But I'm gonna serve concurrent sentences in the penalty
box. Oh man, Well, I'll tell you what. While you head
to the penalty box there, I'm just gonna let everybody know. We've got
more listener mail from you guys, but we're getting a little along in a
tooth on this one, so we're gonna cut it down here. We'll get
to your guys next week. Please keep sending them in, though we are
getting them once again, thankfully, and we'll get to more from Gray Cat.
We'll get to one from my mom. My mom sent one in,
and then we'll get one from new listener Lisa. Hey, Lisa, Hey,
Lisa. So next week look for your mail coming through. Thanks for
sending those. Sorry we couldn't get to them this week, but we will
get to them. Sorry, ma'am all right, So Stecco, are you
in the penalty box? I am great. You will be reading a scene
from the movie when Harry met Sally, So when you are ready, there's
the horn you can begin. Just to be specific, I'm just stepping my
head out of the penalty box for a second. This is the final scene,
the big romantic final scene of the movie. It's a lot of a
lot of heart in here. Okay, here we go. I love that
you get cold when it's seven to anyone degrees out. I love that it
takes you in an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love
that you get a little critical above your nose and you're looking for them in
the like I'm nuts. I love that you after I spend the day with
you, I can still smell your perfect mamma clothes. And I love that
you're the last person I want to talk to you before I go to sleep
at night. And it's not because I'm lonely and it's not because as New
Year's Eve, I came here tonight because when you realize that you want to
spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your
life to start as soon as possible. Q applause, Well done, Well
done, you may come out of the penalty box now. Thanks for playing
along. That was great. If you get anything squirrely from the site,
feel free to message us on on the Blurry Photos Podcast Facebook or post it
straight to our page or week at us if something's amiss askew or askance.
Thanks to those of you who retweet our stuff and yeah and send it to
your your friends and fellows. That's it's really awesome of you, and thank
you very much for that. Go like us while you're on the facebooks there
and the YouTube's or a Blurry Photos podcast. Blurry Underscore Photos is our Twitter
handle. Stumble upon us if you're so inclined and rate us stars write us
said an iTunes review. Yeah, it'd be great on that fancy new iTunes
that they released. Be the first for this episode of Blurry Photos, the
second of Blurry Photo. I'm David the Wicked, Wicked Stecco, and I'm
David Skyclad Flora. Oh nice, nice, blissed. Bye,