Welcome to soft Core History. Hello, and welcome to Softcore History. My
name is Jake Goldman. I'll be your host for this week. I'm joined,
as always by my two very special co hosts, Dan Jester, Rob
Fox. Happy New Year, guys, happiness is it new Year? Now?
It is? Oh, that's great. I'm so glad. I knew
that we're in the time vacuum of pre recorded episode, so I don't know
fuck is going? What day is it? What year is it? Yeah?
This episode is ever like I don't know where I am. I don't
know where I'm at. It doesn't matter what You're eight episodes in the last
three days or so. Yeah, something just ridiculous like that, because we
want to work over the holidays. If you are, I can't. Oh,
yeah, you're gonna be in Portugal, so can catch a big wave,
one hundred foot wave. Man, Now it's gonna be like sixty degrees.
I'm not going in the water sixty degrees celsius. No, I think
you'd die with that attitude. I don't know how it translates because I know
zero. Well, it's Portuguese is freezing and celsius so that's thirty two.
Yeah, but then like I don't know, I sixty is like a thousand
degrees. Sixty's a lot. It's sixty would be like, uh, maybe
two hundred degrees, because one hundred is the temperature. Water boils at one
hundred. But you would say like because one is like algorithmic, right though,
right, So like zero is freezing, thirty is like seventy five eighty,
and then sixties a million because it's it's it's like the Richter scale,
right or like the I'm pretty sure Sigima scale. I'm pretty sure sixty Celsius
is going to be like two hundred degrees. It's not. No, one
hundred is boiling. One hundred degrees Celsius is twelve. It's to twelve,
right, so half of that would be like one of one hundred and forty
one hundred. Yeah, it's death Valley. So that's yeah, Saudi Arabia,
and it's worst fucking day, bit of a sauna situation. Not too
bad, A hell of a Christmas sixty degrees Celsius. I got Christmas on
the app back oi because it's it's not really Christmas there. It's summer there.
Yeah, it's summer in Australia I mean, it is fucking Christmas.
They don't celebrate it. They should move it to June twenty fifth, absolutely
should Why are you doing Christmas an island of prisoners? They should worship Satan.
Anyway, I agree the Australians talk slow. They took great. You're
shitting on them for talking slow. There was like just five seconds. I
as if I did it intentionally. Oh yeah, that's how Australians sound.
I talk. They say it themselves. They talk pretty lazily. I have
had a drunk accent. I have had multiple Anglos tell me that they hate
listening. Maybe it's mostly English, Irish, Scottish, but they hate listening
to Americans talk because we talk slow, because we talk slow. We do
talk slow. I talk way slower than a fucking brit or not. It
was an Irish guy telling me that he's like, fucking listen to my girlfriend's
God because I'll just be on the phone and it'll be like yeah, and
the store is crowded. Eay, that's will good. One will be calm
for everyone at home. That's Rob doing an irishman doing a English or an
American American. Yeah, yeah, it's incredible, great work. I loved
it. Yeah, Rob does voices, he's the voice guy. Welcome to
the show, guys, Welcome to the show. Hey, if you like
softcore history and you want to learn more about it and get more into the
weeds with it, we got we got a Patreon you should check out.
It's patreon dot com slash softcore History. We do two extra episodes of content
a week on top of this normal free episode. So think about it this
way. For five bucks a month, you get eight additional episodes. We
do watch alongs with historic movies. We do voicemail episodes. We also do
an additional episode just like this every week, so we really spread it out.
We do a lot of different content. Dan does some speak game shows.
Yeah. You also get twenty percent off the softcore history dot com store
if you are a Patreon member with the coach Oh oh my god, what
I'm gonna have to cut that? Why? Because it's for the patreon members,
but they can't. You have to be on the patreon to get that.
It's no, it still works. Then bleep it out. Bleep it
out, but leave the rest in because that's pretty funny. It's a little
fun behind the curtains situation. Anyway. Yeah, bleep the bleep, the
code out. Anyway, great weekend. How about you, guys? What
are you guys doing? I don't give a shit to talk about your kids
in the episode what are we doing? Are we for real? Kind of?
Are we for real? Right now? We're five minutes in, baby,
I want to hear your I want to hear some history. No,
absolutely not, all right, yeah, fuck it. Today we're talking about
an animal. He's big and scary. Dan also did an animal episode.
Yeah I heard, I heard our cycles are SYNCD up. Yeah, no,
apparently they are. And we're all having PMS right now. Yeah,
because you're being mean. He's being mean. We've been together way too often
the last couple of days. Do you have ever like, just lived in
close quarters with someone you know and their jokes just keep getting funnier. You
can't, Yeah, you can't. You can't just scream at them? Well
you what else? Was a nightmare? Quite like the beginning of this episode.
What the Japanese people's lives in nineteen fifteen, specifically in one town?
It's pretty bad? What what wildlife is in Japan? That's that terrifying?
Oh you're not aware? Well I'll tell you, I'm not fucking aware.
I guess some sort of bear. Yeah, they have big bears over there.
Oh yeah, I didn't know that. Like it seemed like Japan to
me, seems like England, Like how do they have anything but frogs and
raccoons? Yeah, yeah, No, I think Japan. They actually have
pokemon over there. They've they've got animals. You wouldn't believe, like a
wheedle would just uppear and sting you, butterfree for sure. Yeah, and
that's a poisonous pokemon. I just I'm thinking like long giant insects when I
think Japan, not the temperate climate. I mean it's hot. Actually it
does get hot. I know it's really hot in the summer. Well,
hot places have weird bugs sometimes, no, most times, but it's not
it's not the same as like Thailand or Vietnam or something like that. Why
wouldn't it be What do you mean why wouldn't be. It's further north.
It's well, it's further north, but I mean, like it's still hot.
I know, it just feels like a more temperate climate. But I'm
wrong, it could be wrong. I think we're wrong. Anyway, We're
not even talking about temperate. Rob sounds confident. Someone trust him. Yeah,
you know what, Rob's right? And also, I was just gonna
say the only the only animal I ever ever heard of from Japan specifically,
are those cute monkeys that take baths with each other. Okay, well,
according to Rob, there's no bears in Japan, so we might as well
say there was no bears in Japan. I just said, I don't feel
like there's a there's no pan frightening fauna in Japan. There are japan has
monkeys. I actually didn't know that the little monkeys that take baths together.
Hold on you, Japanese monkeys that take baths together, you might get some
very racist porn. I think what we're learning is I have no idea what
wild life in Japan's like. Japanese monkeys that take baths together. Yeah,
OK, the real thing. They snow monkeys. They they oh yes,
the jigo kunda sorry, jigo kudani monkey. Oh no, they're snow monkeys.
Yeah, the macaws, mccos whatever, and they just take baths together.
Yeah, no, that's cool. Well they got bears, guys.
So over the course of six snowy days between December ninth and fifteenth and nineteen
fifteen, the small pie in your village of san Kabetsu Rokusan, Sawa faced
a monster that was unrelenting in its terror. This was a tear that they
had to deal with earlier in the year, but it returned with plans to
fuck these people up. It was a Japanese Eso brown bear. So the
Japanese Ezo brown bear, they can get pretty fucking big. Yeah, I'm
looking it up right now, they can get If it's the brown bears will
fuck you up in general. Yeah, not to be confused with like a
grizzly bear. Like. This thing gets as big as Kodiak grizzlies like,
so it's massive, Like I think one of the larger ones is ten feet
tall and twelve hundred pounds. Yeah, so they're they're monster bears, you
know, like big motherfuckers, right, the Assuri brown bear. Is that
another way to say it? Yes? Okay U s s U R I.
I googled what you said and it switched to you sorry for some reason.
Yeah, there's there's multiple. There's also a Russian brown bear. I
believe it is one that comes up as well for it. Okay, if
you're looking at the disambiguation of this kind of brown bear. There's multiple sports.
Well, the Russian brown bear is a very talented animal. Yeah,
they actually floated over to Japan on seals on a ball on a ball.
The well, the seal was carrying the ball bear was on top of them.
They're riding a motorcycle. They're like evil canieval. They hit a ramp
and they just went over the water. Yeah, it's it's actually it's a
really thin canal. It's a really thin canal separating Russian Japan. But yeah,
that's one of those areas of interest for me where I'm like, what's
going on in that spot where it turns from Russia to Japan because there's like
an inlet. Uh, it's this is miss It's it's miss it's miss.
Uh. You gotta imagine China's doing stuff over there, you would think controlling
the seas. I'm a big go online and look at maps for a few
hours kind of guy. Oh, and I love to do I actually love
to creep on like the really far uh Eastern like Russian cities and stuff like,
oh, yeah, what's going on out there? It's weird. Man.
Well, they all have dash cam so you know what's going on.
Well, they do all have dash cams. That's weird. Is that like
an insurance thing over there? I bet it is. There's no way they
even have insurance. Probably don't, but they probably have like some sort of
system for dealing with that because they all need insurance companies. I'm pretty sure
it's the whole Uh, you need video evidence in case somebody comes after you
in the government. Perhaps maybe that I bet you, Like, would you
even need insurance if everyone had camps because you would always be able to prove
it, like who is at fault? We should just what if we just
surveilled everyone all the time. Oh that's a great idea. Yeah, that's
what I feel like. No one. I feel like no one should have
a dash camp. Maybe we call it something like the Liberty Act or the
Patriot Act. Maybe I think liberty sounds better. Yeah, okay, it's
time to be free anyway. Yeah, this Iso brown Bear, he just
wanted to make this Japanese town's life the worst it could ever Possibly that was
his intention. I don't know if he had was his intention just not I'm
hungry His intention was more well, yeah, it was well filed out he
was planning it for years. Think about it. Imagine if you walked out
into your backyard he had a bulletin board and you saw a family of pizzas
just running around, and you're like, you know what, I'm gonna come
out here twice a day. Yeah, take a couple of slices. Now
those here's the thing, spoiler. You're a bear and those pizzas are humans
and those slices are limbs. No, No, that's personal, panda.
Are you getting pizza every day though? You gotta watch your figure? Yeah?
Not as a bear. You hibernate that off. You need to get
that. You don't watch your figures, it'll burn it off and sleep.
Yeah. Uh. The Eeso brown bear is actually predominantly vegetarian. That's why
this is so interesting. Okay, so he's killing for sport. They will
eat meat if they have to, if they feel like, if they feel
provoked, they can't eat or omnivore. Right, it isn't omnivore, but
it's primarily vegetarian diet. Okay, So like it will if it has to,
but more or less, it's eating a lot of berries. He treats
himself again and stuff like that. And it's a fun like how much that
many fucking berries use a fucking bear have to eat? Think about it,
like think about the giant animals and think about like deer and fucking other animals
hurt animals that eat that much, and they only eat berries and shit,
Like it makes sense, right, Like there's so many berries out there,
Yeah, but they don't eat those animals eat like grass and shit where it's
just like everywhere berries like berries and nuts and stuff. Yeah, and like
I mean you gotta think too though, Like there's a lot of berries.
There's a lot more berries that are edible to like a bear than us.
Yeah, fair, Like think about juniperber's covered in berries. Yeah, like
yeah, they're munching on berries that if we ate, we'd die on a
bus? Would we would just be throwing up? Yeah? Oh yeah,
just a call back, Yeah right, super tramp Hell yeah, fuck that
guy. I hate that guy so much. But yeah, it all started.
It originally started before things even really started. Things started in November of
nineteen fifteen, when the bear arrived at the Akida family house. The family
horse was loudly spooked by the surprise encounter with the bear, but the bear
fled after taking only harvested corn. So he was just looking for some food,
just wanted some stuff. It's hungra fair enough. But yeah, at
the time the time he was in Sankabetsu, it was newly settled, so
encroachment by wild animals was pretty common. No one really noticed it. They
were just like another bear or whatever. Yeah, so what was the name
of the town? What the name of the town is? Sankabetsu, Rokusen,
Sawa, good luck? Yeah? Do you want me to smell it
Google? It's eleven miles from the coast of Japan. It's up north,
Okay, Yeah, it's I just am curious what even it wasn't settled at
this point in time. It's nineteen fifteen in Japan. That's like being like,
yeah, I was a part of Scotland that no one had found yet.
Japan is much bigger than Scotland. I'd get it, but it's still
people. Yeah, Japan is humongous, dude. Japan is like the size
of the entire the entire eastern seaboard of the United States. That's fine,
But Scotland is not Scotland. But Scotland's part of that English Isle, right,
So I'm just saying like, oh, part of this island that people
have lived on for two thousand years, I think four thousand. No,
like the English, the land of Britain is significantly smaller than Japan. Is
still surprising me. Okay, they hadn't filled out all the corners yet,
I mean fair enough, but yeah, I think this place is a little
bit more desolate spot in Japan. Have we even filled out all the corners
in this country? No, in like North Dakota. I mean there's people.
I guess there's people in every state, but no, there's not people
in every part of the country. Now there's very remote parts of the country.
There's so much of this country that is just Barren's true, and my
neighborhood is only a year old. Yeah, you just drive through it on
the highway. We were going. We were thinking about putting camps out.
You know what, now that you mentioned this, the homeless camps, isn't
that what Trump said? Just put them out there, put them out in
the desert. They get them to want to go, Like, you can't
force you can max it. You gotta remind him though, It's like,
hey, you can't force them to be there's no resources there like, hey,
man, I hope you can make electricity work. Here's some tents.
Figure it out. People. They are homeless. But if there's no electricity,
yeah, you just the smartphones are going to you just lie to them
and tell them that, like building a house will get you high, and
they'll build, dude, an incredible house. High on life. Yeah,
the biggest scam of them all. You kind of just give them a couple
of resources, some building supplies, and then meth done. Yeah, well
the meth would really help. I mean, dude, some of those we've
looked at them before on other shows, the like literal two and three story
tent encampments. It's nuts, dude, the castles that they build. I
saw, I saw you. I was in Portland, Oregon. I saw
something under a bridge with us a garage. It had a car. That's
incredible. It was fucking insane. You give a homeless camp twelve shopping carts,
they're building a skyscraper. Yeah so if not a transformer fucking Meggas or
Yeah, anyway, the thing goes and steal some corn. People like oh,
you know, Gorn disappears sometimes we have wild animals out here. But
a couple days later On November twentieth, nineteen fifteenth, the bear reappeared.
Worrying about the safety of the horse, the head of the Akida family called
on his second son, camm Me Tarro, and two hunters from his own
village. In a neighboring village, they prepared for the bear to reappear once
more. I love the note that he called on his second son. You
don't send your you don't send your first one out there. It's like for
this, I didn't realize that second son meant like front lines. Yeah,
can you imagine? So we call a finn job in my family, Finch,
there's a noise. Fin's like eight, You're like, Finn, go
downstairs. Check he does that? Now? Yeah, he just yeats his
baby and the intruder. He just rolls them out the door of the bedroom
door. Oh man, I wouldn't put it pass rob So and then Courtney
takes Rory to the closet and feeds him chocolate. This is right, Yeah,
brushes his hair. Yeah, Hey, you're the best son. You're
the oldest boy, which is insane. So yeah, the bear. They
waited around for ten days for this bear to show back up. They're like
stalwart We're gonna get this fucking bear. Yeah. So when the bear reappeared
on November thirtieth, they shot at it but failed to kill it. And
this will be a very recurring theme with this bear and people trying to kill
it. You see, this bear is no dumb bear. It might in
fact be smarter than the average bear. Hey ooo, yeah, it's this
is interesting. I don't maybe I have read about this before and don't remember
it, but I don't remember this ever being a thing with a bear,
Like I I have read about tigers doing this, like literally holding grudges in
India. Yeah. Yeah, and elephants do it too. Elephant you just
terrorize in town. But like, I've never heard of a bear do this
before. So the War's saying, though, is people that actually go bear
hunting with bows? Yeah, because people are what you one. Bows aren't
meant like to instant kill anything. No, So I don't understand what the
how many arrows are you shooting? That's what I want to piste off.
Bear charging at me right. If I hit it just right, it'll expel
all the blood from its heart and it's anger Like, that's just not what
I'm trying to do. I won't even go bear hunting with a gun.
No, what do you do? Like, honestly, what's the end game
in that too? Like you're getting mauled to death by the bear and you're
just at least my wife and kids. Well no real land then, but
then like your your kids are fatherless and your wife's getting drilled by a guy
named fucking Greg. Now, dude, fuck Greg. I don't think you're
going bear hunting because you love your wife. You're doing it because your local.
You're getting away from your wife. I think you're so she can have
time with. But then you get too far away from your wife and because
you get sent to hell because you're the bear murdered you. Well, God
doesn't like losers. No, God hates people that lose the animals, not
a single cancer page. You know what the biggest sin is? What losing
to a lower animal? Yeah, if you get killed by an animal,
you've not fulfilled your duty as top of the face. Well, what if
you lose to an animal that's not even a predator? Oh, like a
fucking spider or something. Butters are kind of predator still, even like I
would say a squirrel. Oh, you get taken out by a squirrel or
like a beaver, straight to hell like a mosquitos. A little mosquito gets
you. No, a beaver just like kids, your jugular just nix your
your ephemeral artery. Yeah, yeah, that's what they That happened to somebody.
Yeah, that's a there's a video of it. Dude, that guy's
in hell. Yeah, mosquito, little mosquito. Well, I don't count
it if it's malaria, malaria, that's a West Nile. But if you
die specifically from the bite, just the bite itself, you gratch it and
you out. Yeah. Yeah, Like if it's not from like some communicable
disease, because that's a different thing. You didn't die from the mosquito anyway.
When the bear reappeared on November thirtieth, three shot and field to kill
it, and like I said, this would be a common theme. So
the next morning they followed the bear's footprints, which led down to Mount Onishika.
Along the trail, the hunting party discovered blood stains, but a snowstorm
forced them to turn back. The blood stains led the party to conclude that
the bear, are now injured, would no longer raid the settlements, which
is as far as I know, and I'm concerned with things like this.
If I don't see a body, Yeah, if there ain't no body,
there ain't no body. There aren't no crime. The ain't nobody get it.
Yeah, it's a quote from Banner Brothers. I think it's like there
ain't no body, then there ain't no body fucking dead. Oh nice?
Miss that? Yeah and uh yeah for about a week all was good.
That is such a classic like horror movie trope too. It's like it must
be dead, but we have to turn back the snowstorm. It's it's all
horror movie trope. Yeah, this entire thing is a horror movie trope.
It I'm surprised that we don't have a movie about it. Yeah, it's
Cocaine Bear essentially not Cocaine Bear has kind of there's a lot of movies about
this in Japan. That that's what's geta ask. Yeah, there's Japanese movies
about so we're due. Yeah, that's all japan mags is horror movies,
bear movies and Godzilla kaiju? Is that what they're called kaiju? Have you
seen the new Godzilla? Godzillas? I don't know what are those Onesvilla the
show there's a new movie that came Oh no, by a Japanese guy.
It's supposed to be really good, like a new Godzilla. He said,
New Godzilla. What are you talking about the like I think you're talking about
the HBO show. No, Russell Wyatt, No, it's a Japanese movie
or Russell that's in the Godzilla verse. Monarch. Yeah, I don't know.
I haven't seen it. I like the old Godzilla movies though, But
yeah, So they were right for about a week and then they were wrong
pretty much from there on out. The bear was really upset. Bear's furious.
Bears really mad about being shot. So nine days later, on December
ninth, nineteen fifteen, at ten thirty am, the giant brown bear turned
up at the home of the Ota family. A Mayu, who was the
farmer, Otho's wife, and Assumi Mikio, a baby being cared for by
Mayo. We're at the house. Oh no, do you think the bears
just sharpening his claws like already a stark just saying names, yeah, that
he's about to take out. It's a long list, and it's a lot
of their long Japanese names. Bears, a Japanese bear. It speaks.
Oh, that's true. He's getting them off quick. He's rattling around.
He's not like me, like, uh, Hasumi Mikio, right, he
knows he's Yeah. But if he's a Chinese bear, actually, well,
fun do you say that he was programmed by the Chinese? I was gonna
say it was a sayo, No, this is the bear never existed.
This actually, this is what starts the Sino Japanese War, the Japanese invade
if they find out that the bear was sent by the Chinese, or that's
instead of soldier guys, they just sending bears. Yeah, it was actually
just a guy in the soup. When do we get to the point where
we just send in our animals to fight. We already trained dolphins to disarm
bombs. This animal would be a good one. Uh, water mines.
This thing's only natural predator is a Siberian tiger. It is a Siberian tiger
even a natural predator of this bear, because they exist in Russia too.
I know, but I mean, like they're not fighting each other. There's
records of them fighting wild But is the tiger trying to eat the bear?
Is the tiger like bears prey it's more competition. It's not. It's it's
a competition of equals. But the Siberian tiger has the leg up. That's
fine. I just don't think the tigers like routinely hunting it. They're not
like it's more territorial. I mean, I know the tigers more limber,
has a better, A better way to put it, would be the only
thing that kills these things are tigers. But the bears are huge. The
bears are huge. Tigers are big too, But tiger yeahs like sneakily strong
tigers are the real like king of the jungle. Oh yeah, tigers,
Lions, No, no thanks, tigers. The only thing I feel like
that could take a Siberian tiger potentially would be a polar bear, which is
the largest and predator on earth. So why does nobody use bowlar bears or
even tigers for their inspirational quotes. It's always a line. There's always a
line an some dumb bird. Yeah, who would get that tattooed on them?
Because polar bears have somehow been conflated with with like sweet animals. Yeah,
I'm getting an eagle tattooed on Have you heard about this? Have you
heard about this. No, I don't think you told me. You know,
you didn't tell me eagle. Yeah, you told me about that.
Well, but this is out. I have an eagle tattoo. It is
an eagle tating. By the time this is out, it's on his shoulder.
And he told me that he's having he had like, okay, I
say this part about the AI, what about it? He had a I
do the picture. Yeah, all my tattoos, IM make an AI first
and I give it to the I was saying, one, I think that's
really cool too. I was saying, when the robots take over, Yeah,
they're going to recognize their art be like, yeah, he's good,
he's mocked. Yeah, but actually that's just gonna mean like they're gonna think
it's a brand. And you're saying, like, they're going to send you
to a comp your slave mask, I'm just cattle yeaheah. They're just gonna
be like and then this one, this one goes to Mid Journey, send
him to the Mid Journey plantation. You just make content. I'm fine with
that. Yeah, I'd rather be a cyborgan. Just work for the computers
anyway, they know what they're doing. I imagine they're gonna be way more.
We'll just get to the point. Yeah, like cut to the chase.
It's gonna happen eventually. I just tell us what to do computer.
Let the computers run everything, and all we do is make wiener jokes on
TikTok yep and then try to find a sense of purpose each other, food
and fuck yeah, oh no. Have there been less horrible things or more
horrible things? Yeah? Europe's way ahead of us. What being useless?
Yeah, yeah, they're crushing me. They're killing it. I don't know
if you're aware of it, but they're They're had a head start since nineteen
forty six. I know. But I'm saying Daddy took over we uh No,
that was a trick they played on us to think, and they were
like, oh you want the big job via tie the things we've been learn
for our trip to Portugal, just be aware that some of these spots and
some of these things like drivers, transportation, everything, they might not be
up, Like people just might not show up to work. Yeah, it's
like, I guess that's fine. Up in the morning, like like what
today won't could? It's an easier life. I love that life. Life.
They make less money than the United surgeon doesn't feel like working that fucking
day, but they they live a better life. I think, just quality
life there until until they go in for surgery and they're surgeon doesn't show up.
Here's the thing, but they're hammered off. Some of them need surgery,
less of them need like the food stold longing ships. Yeah, nothing's
processed. Especially, they're living better. They're dying naturally, like say what
you want, Like, yeah, they have issues with certain things, but
like they're taking naps. I think the quality of life is the middle of
the day. I think the trade offs better personally anyway, they have stuff
to like I totally need to get back to this bear. Yeah, this
bear killed this baby. Obviously. Do we have plenty of time, we
don't have to Yeah. Also we're gonna get to that part for a second
though, the US life. Part of the reason the uf US life expectancy
is a little bit lower is because we're a humongous country. Sure, that's
fine, it's full of all different types of people. Are you arguing that
about the life expectancy? No, But also by that logic, more people
should live longer. Why because we have the numbers. No, we have
more variation, we have more Guess it'll balance it out and we'll go higher.
Well, are we talking meaner median? If it doesn't, I don't
know what life expectancy is measured at. Yeah, well it depends, right,
Like what's more important? I'm not a statistician, but I mean it'd
be important to look at both of those numbers that I imagine if we're talking
about differences in scale of country, Like, are we talking about mean anymore?
Yeah? Like, because then mean would be a terrible way to look
at that. I have no idea. I'm just saying I'm not taking that
serious. Port But also you're wrong Portugal. No, I agree with Dan.
Naps. I think naps are great. Naps are actually you, of
all people knocking naps, I've seen you nap more than anyone. That's because
I could afford to do so. Then I can't afford to do it now.
That has nothing to do with where you live. Also, all of
their economies are about to fucking crater because they're not making babies. Yeah,
because they're all taking naps. Guess who's going to go to Portugal also making
babies? Take moneys? Why we have to let in like twenty Mexicans because
you won't fuck your wife. Dude, Hey man, just make another just
hey, you've made one for you've made one for Dan, make one for
me. No, I've made one for me and for my wife. No,
make one for Dan and make one for me. It's the economy crash.
Then we just go over and we live like kings. Yeah, that's
right, that's fair. Get you want to. I'm sorry you don't want
to Castle. We're gonna have to. We're gonna after the next half that
fucking continent when there's no one left in it. I'm sorry. You want
to believe somewhere more expensive than Austin, No, thank you? Oh my
god, dude. I saw the dumbest shit there on my Instagram that was
like this couple move from Texas to France and it's way more affordable there.
And she was like, I couldn't believe it, but I bought a six
bedroom house in France, and they were like, we moved from Houston,
where it was expensive, to a town of twenty five hundred people in France
where we could buy a huge house. It was like, bitch, get
on Zillo and go to West Texas and you can find a million houses,
I'm sorry, six bedrooms for three hundred thous doing in the twenty five hundred
person town in France where they clearly like, don't integrate with that town.
I know what are they doing? That's gonna be a living hell. It's
one hundred miles from the closest city. It's so much better than going to
West Texas. Absolutely, but I'm just kidding me. I doubt these people
in here unless this guy's working remote like the French countryside. Is this guy
a Francophile? Though? How's he gonna live? All right? It doesn't
matter. Go to any state, Go go to rural fucking I agree with
Dan. West Texas is off to rural Arkansas. I the places. Go
to fucking rural fucking Georgia. Nothing you're saying right now is appealing. I
think you underestimate how shitty all these tiny places are in other countries. How
much I've driven through this country and I've seen all these hell hold, I
read it too, I've driven all over this But what makes you to help?
What makes the French country side shitty? Out of curiosity? No,
there's nothing shitty you're about it. It's just like, you don't think someone's
a redneck because I have a French accent, But these people are. They
have red neck brain and red neck soul. They're not Australian yeah, French.
No there, They're worse than that because they live in the same place
for a thousand years and they have a gene pool that is the size of
a fucking puddle. You hear that, Rob thinks everyone that's suburban French is
the game is not suburban. It's not suburban. There are one hundred miles
from Bordeaux. The game is not France or Alabama. It's Britain or Alabama.
It's what it's It's England or Alabama. It's not France or Alabama.
I don't know what that means. If you look at somebody, yeah,
and you without hearing them, they're just see their teeth basically, just see
their teeth and you see like their physical appearance. It's very hard to distinguish
an Englishman from Alabama. I just, I just it's a very common game
that people play that you've been sort of what's a good way to like call
pink washing the French, you know what I mean, Like you've been served
a lot of French propaganda. Go look at like a French far that's a
high opinion of the French. Who's sitting here, looks looks wise, culture
wise people. Do you think they're dicks? You think they're dirty? They're
dirty? You just think they don't shower because it's a cultural thing. You
don't think they're dirty the way like a smelly turk is dirty. The fuck?
Why straight? Why are you going after? You're just like eliminating all
the world. You're just can always sny, just crossing off every country.
Probam's about to be just sitting in Saint Louis be the most hated man in
the world. I don't hate the French, it sounds like you do.
I'm not saying that they suck. I'm saying that it's it was an insane
comparison to compare buying a house in suburban Houston to buying a house in the
middle of nowhere. Insane move. I don't know what they're talking about,
Like why, why, how did you land on that? And that the
French are no better or worse than Americans. You also cross the line of
racism. You went to Turkey. You should have stopped the grease. Should
Greece is the lines stinky Greek? Yeah, once you go to Turk though,
gets questions. Yeah, where they crossed it first? Kind of that's
our land. They came to us. I mean, I guess you can
go maybe Cyprus, Yeah, because a little bit of everything there. Yeah,
it's Greek and Turks. Maybe Gauds should take like a kind of lesson
from Cypress. The Turks and Greeks don't get along. I would love you
to tell you don't like each other, but they don't like each other.
But Cypress is fine. You just walk around spitting on each other, probably
each other off. Yeah, it's it is. They really do split it.
You don't hear a lot about Cypress. They just kind of exist and
people don't. People vacation there, they do, but they have like this
like passive aggressive. It's like a hostile Saint Martin kind of ye. Anyway,
Saint Martin's pretty hostile. The French don't like the Dutch. Firs don't
like anybody the Dutch sides now the French so okay, okay, back to
the bear. French have always sucked. Okay, but the countryside's beautiful.
We're going back to the bear. Bear is happening. I don't care about
this bear anymore. No you care? So it ate a baby, right,
it ate a baby? Yeah, but the sorry a baby or a
horse. No, I need a baby, baby horse. It bit a
baby on the head and killed it. Bit its head, it didn't and
it is just consumed the whole baby. It didn't consume the whole baby.
It bit the baby's head and it killed him. So it crushes skull with
its fucking jaws. Yeah, pretty much sweet. Yeah, once the baby's
head popped, he just couldn't stop. Uh minyu. The mother fought back.
Actually, yeah, I don't know if this was the mother of the
baby. This is just the lady caring for it. She fought back,
apparently by throwing firewood, and tried to escape, but she was overtaken,
knockdown, and dragged into the imperial forest of Senkabetsu. No one saw her
again. Yeah, well she was inside the bear mostly. Yeah. According
to contemporary descriptions, the scene resembled a slaughterhouse, with blood puddled on the
farmhouse store and being dragged out to the woods. So bear is on a
vengeance? Is that sanitary forest slaughterhouse. I feel like they have to meet
some regular everywhere they normally have drains on the floor. Mm hmm. But
nineteen fifteen, maybe not so Early in the morning, a couple guys left
the village on errands. I don't know why that note'es there. I must
have had something. Girls are there, but uhop getting high. Sorry.
Yeah. Meanwhile, a thirty man search party was organized to capture the brown
bear cover the remains of the lady that was killed and dragged into the forest.
Entering the forest no more than one hundred and fifty meters, uh,
the party met the bear almost instantly. He's just hanging out, ready for
well, he's well fed at this point. He's not rotein for the first
time in his life. Yeah, feeling fucking jacked. He's he's ready,
He's he knows they're coming. Apparently only five man shot. He could probably
smell them, like literally, actually, yeah, they can smell. I
think a bear can smell three miles Yeah, great, sin he started setting
traps up. He's like laying down the wood. That would be funny if
they see the bear. But before they even see the bear, like a
fucking tiger, pit opens up. Yeah, bikes. Yeah, was it
pungies the pungee pit? Yeah? Yeah, oh done. Yeah. So
five men shot at this bear, but only one managed to land a hit.
The This enraged to the bear. Obviously he's now accustomed to being shot
at and getting hit and not liking it. It's like a bad movie,
horror movie even where you're like, I think you I think I hit it,
like I think you made it bad. Yeah, No, that's it's
that's the spear after this bear because he retreats into the what's again once more,
But he doesn't linger than ever, angrier than ever. He goes and
stews. He stowed. He broods quite a bit. Yeah. So,
after the bear fled, the hunters scouted the area and discovered the corpse of
the lady who was dragged out there. Only her head and her leg were
remaining, but the bear had stashed the body in the snow and an attempt
to preserve it as well as hide it from scavengers, so it was proof
that this was the brown bear. They pretty much had proof that the brown
bear did it and uh. At this point they realized that the bear had
its taste for human flesh because it was preserving the meat he let go what
he saw. Yeah. So, I mean it's kind of that classic thing
where it's like if you raise something vegetarian, but like like a kid,
Hey check this out and give it a burger. They're like what yeah,
whoa. It's like you ever just to Doug kibble and then you give it
like real food and you're like, gos fucking the same. It's like,
oh my god. Yeah, that's what happened with this bear. Basically,
So at this point, villagers were getting fed up. They gathered at the
Ota family's house with guns. Just everyone showed up with guns, which is
the appropriate response for a killer. But they're not shooting with guns already.
They were shooting with guns, but like everyone showed up, okay, so
villagers, Uh, everyone showed up with guns. Everyone has guns. So
around eight pm that night, the bear reappears, like they know what's coming
back. At this point, although the villagers had anticipated the bear's return,
they were nonetheless fucking terrified when it showed up. A big bear. I
would just be like, hey, guys, let's like the twenty of us
stand here with all of our rifles together and just aim at it. Stand
in a fucking line. Yeah, and aim at it. There's like forty
fucking people with guns at this point, and they they don't do a good
job of it, clearly. Yeah, that's that's kind of the running theme
here out of like the forty one man managed to get hit the bear.
By the time the bear it's huge apparently, though there were fifty more guardsmen
posted three hundred meters away from where the bear did show up. They just
missed it, so they they didn't see it. They arrived after someone had
shot at the bear, right, so they didn't get it. They didn't
get a chance to shoot the bear. Yeah, exactly how often do you
think they like practiced shooting they're targeting. I gotta imagine a little bit.
If you're like a settlement town, you gotta be able to shoot. You
got you in the middle of nowhere like that, you would think. But
you also probably save ammunition too. Yeah, you're not wasting it on bottles.
Yeah, there's not a lot of practice shots. There's not a lot
of practice shots. But still like you're you're a gamer, no practice,
yeah, just gunslinger really. But yeah, by the time the fifty other
guardsmen arrived, the bear had vanished into the woods. The core reassembled and
had a downstream on what was thought to be the bear's trail. When the
news of the Otsa family attack was first received by the Mayuki family, women
and children sought refuge there. Well, the fifty guardsmen that I talked about
earlier patrolled outside. Uh. The guardsmen were having dinner when the news of
the bears were turned to the Otsa farm reached them, and they marched off
to the Otsa farm to go get the bear. So so now these people
were undefended, right, So the fifty guardsmen I said that ran up.
Yeah, after the one got shot at it, they went and chased after
the bear. They were arriving because they had just heard about the bear.
So they're like, oh, we know the bear went to the woods.
We're gonna chase it down. We're gonna go get it. They thought the
women and children under and they left the women and children undefended. Oh god
damn it. This bear is about to key feast. Oh God damn it.
Yeah. Yeah, uh so the bear are bears like dogs, though,
they'll just eat until they get sick. Yeah. I think most animals
are like that. I got them. Snakes aren't snixy like one thing.
Yeah, they'll go on hunger strikes too if you piss them off. Really,
like, if you own a pet snake, if you just piss him
off, How do you piss off a snake being a dick? I guess
I don't know. Just hit it. I think it gets depressed. Do
you need to like play with it, especially if you're keeping it in a
little tank? Yeah? Sure, I imagine every snake is depressed. Then
that's ever been a pet. You got to take it out a lot.
But then you also can't take it out too often. Why because then it'll
get depressed because it's like, oh, snaks are moody's a little bit.
I imagine you know, I'm gonna be real with you. I don't think
they should be pets at all. I think a snake is a weird pet.
Yeah, it is a weird pet. Would you rather have a snake
or a bird? Bird? I think a bird. I hate birds.
Bird. I think a beer a bird guy's weirder. I'm not same with
snake. Snake girl also weird weird bird. I agree bird person is weirder.
Bird's loud bird is Have you ever met anyone with like a parrot and
I mean they clip the wings so they can't fly. It's terrifying. No,
dude, my uncle had a parrot like one that talked or whatever.
They kept it in the computer room so it could do the AOL login noise
like perfectly, like I don't know, you know, like the dial up
sound. Yeah, like it could do it perfect yea the awful animal that
sounds fun. Still, I want to I want to parrot. I want
a parrot. Dude. They just scream like have you ever been around have
you ever been in a room with someone with a pet parrot? Like?
Ever been in a room with a pet parrot? They sucked? No,
I have too much respect for myself to associate with somebody like that. I
would like to own five parrots, one for each weekday. Why because on
the weekend I don't need a break from them. Why not just the same
parrot every day for five days? He gets old? Yeah, well five,
I don't understand. Are they in different rooms? Do you mind?
Dreams need to make sense to you a little bit. Why do you need
five parrots when one will do trick? Because I want five? Where do
they go on the weekends? They stay? Where they are? I just
don't go to them. Why do you need because I want one for each
different day. I want a blue one, a red one, I want
a yellow one, want green, and then I want a white one.
Dude, the fuck I see where Rory gets it. I want five.
Give me no anyway, Let's get to these. Dude, I don't need
you doing that. I have to fix it. It's bother me. He's
he's really driving today. He likes audio, he does anyway. So,
yeah, they left all the women and children unguarded. It is really bad.
Well, they're gonna go get the bear. So what they need to
be there for? Well, you think you leave a few It doesn't sound
like three guys ten guys are gonna do anything else. Bears no ship.
But at the same time, like, I don't know, maybe this bear
is really smart and is out fucking finesse to you the entire time so far.
Yeah, maybe, like leave. I don't think that they realized they've
been out smart this whole time so far. I think they're just like this
bear's weird. They're not they're not into it. Yeah, they're not clean,
they're not cued in. Yeah, because well now that they're all the
fifty men. I have a theory. What's your theory? Perhaps Satan just
put himself into this bear like Chucky. Mm hmm. Well, it's a
godless island. Satan fits right in. There would be an ony. I'm
pretty sure Japan has religion. They do, not the right one. They
don't. It's not what Silence is about. Yeah, Martin Scorsese made a
movie about it. Wait, Japan's not mostly Catholic. Were Christian? No?
I think it's like Shinto. Uh No, And for a long time
they were. They persecuted this ship out of Catholics and Christians. Yeah,
it didn't go over. Well, there's a you remember Silence. I don't
even know what Shinto is. Shintoism is their religion. It's yeah, Shintoism,
no idea what that means. So I think it's a yeah, seventy
percent Shinto. I think it's like a Buddhist. Well, I think it's
it's almost like a only one point five percent Christian? Is it an empire
religion like it is in Emperor's religion, like a Shintoism, like tied to
the So the missionaries never made it to Japan. They kind of stopped at
the Philippines. They were there. They just weren't having fun. They're having
a good ACA. So it's an indigenous religionship Japan, Okay, Yeah,
there's like a whole indigenous like there's a whole indigenous culture as well. That's
really fascinating about. I think there's a lot of people who doubled dip because
it said that Japan was seventy percent Shinto and sixty seven percent Buddhist. Yeah,
there's clearly like some sort of I think you can be both. You
can because I think Shintoism it's like the the of the land e. Yeah,
yeah, and you can kind of be you can kind of fold in
Buddhism to that essentially makes sense. I think Shintoism is pretty adaptive. I
like that. I'm a too adaptive religions are you? Yeah? I am.
What's what? What's better? It's like, yeah, that works.
The Why are you talking shit on Catholics all the time? He was literally
defending Christmas last week? Yeah, in our text he was talking shit on
us. I said, you borged everything. That's the most adaptive thing you
can do, is it? Rude? They they joined willingly because you tricked
them. They can essentially joined with their trees. You made all their festivals,
your festivals. The Christmas tree was not pagan, I recently learned.
Okay, get where'd you learn that? The fucking storm front. No,
it's in the Bible. Yeah, no it's not. No. I was
reading some history and he was talking about like what is pagan Yule and what
isn't and like the garlands and reeds are but the Christmas tree tradition came from
Germany in the fifteen hundreds. Whatever, dude, I don't believe you.
I don't believe. I don't give a shit if you don't believe. Maybe
a lot of the greenery is yule, pegan, yewle, but with the
tree specifically Christmas tree specifically. You know, I'm fine with that. I'm
okay with that too. I'm taking it. It's it's my thing. I
invented it, you bro, shut up. And the original people don't know
this, but the original missilete was actually uh hammered into Jesus's belly button by
the Romans. They kissed under it. Yeah yeah, it was really yeah.
Yeah, cool man. And you take a bite out of the sponge.
All right, I'm gonna talk about this bury eating this family just for
you. Yeah, let's get in the slaughter here. Yeah, real quick.
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bear who's not fled not down the street, but back up to the house
that was just left undefended. Uh was kicking it and ready to murder some
people. Yeah. So a woman named Yayo, who is Mi Yoki Yasituro's
wife. She was preparing a late meal while carrying her fourth son, U
Mugeechee on her back. She heared a rumbling noise outside, but before she
could investigate, in fucking horror movie fashion, the bear broke through a window
and entered the house. Yeah why not, its bared enough time. No,
Now, you were talking about horror movie tropes earlier. Yeah, it
gets way trope here from here. When this happened, the cooking pot on
the hearth overturned, dousing the flames that were in the house, and in
the ensuing panic, the oil lamp was also extinguished, making the house pitch
black. Jesus, Yeah, we know of this because people survived this attack.
But this is exactly how it went out perfect. Uh. Yeah,
you tried to flee the house, but her second son, Yujiro rip second
sons, he clung to her legs, tripping her as she ran. Sometimes
it be your own kids, it really does. The bear attacked her and
bit Umakichi, the fourth son, on her back. One guy had remained
at the house, apparently as a bodyguard. His name was Odo. When
he ran for the door to go and see what was going on, the
bear release the mother and child to pursue him. The mother that is good.
Yeah, the bear was like, oh, bigger game. I was
about to say, you don't have to outrun the bear, you just have
to outrun your kids. No, the guard's trying to protect. Yeah,
like you can make more kids. Yeah, that's what they did. They'd
have like nine of them. Yeah, did you never know what? A
bear would show up? And at a certain point you don't love all those
kids, you're after three. I think in this time of world history,
like from this time and all history prior, it was a numbers game.
Children. It was to work the land. People didn't have kids because they
wanted kids. They wanted works. Yeah, they needed help, like you
make help good in five years to be very useful. Yeah for the first
five years. He's going to annoy the Christ out of me. Actually,
yah, I guess they must have wanted them. Yeah, no, a
little bit of a little to be Yeah, it's like I wouldn't take it
out. I wouldn't. Like they love their kids. Everyone loves their kids.
Yeah, but it's more of a pool your share type situation. But
it was there was more utility to it back then than now. Certainly,
absolutely Now it's all fluff and utility. There's no utility. Yeah, there
really isn't like unless you have a farm. You make your kid work on
them and you think about it too. You have like ten kids, that's
ten different incomes for the house. Yeah that's crazy. Yoh, just never
let them leave. So here's the thing though, that's what the Italians do.
We all live on we all live on farms now, content farms.
And that's why you have ten kids to make ten little content creators, little
aggregators. Yeah ude, no, no, no, just make them the
content. They start out as the content, then they learn to make their
own content. Bing bang boom. I hate where this is going. We're
going back to this the AI farm. Yeah, the mid journey, we're
all going, that's the eventual destination. Stop fighting it, Okay, it's
we're not. This is just you move to the woods. You can.
You're gonna probably die from getting eaten by a bear, but I probably you're
gonna hate it. Uh yeah, so yeah, what kind of survival skills
do you have? Not a lot. You're you wouldn't do camps more than
the two of us. But camping in like a week, it's the time
to do it. It really is. Uh. Last time I went camping
was in the middle of August. Not probably hot. It's probably hot as
ship. Good lord, honestly, Like it was sixty five and sunny today.
If it stays like that for another week, I'm golden. I lost
ten pounds that day. Did you really just sleep in the tent? I
sweat so much? I mean it would be like, like, imagine living
in a fucking trash bag. Yeah, like that's what you're a fucking nightmare.
Yeah. Anyway, when this guy ran for the door of the bear,
at least the mom and kid ya yo. The mom then escaped with
her children. Oho attempted to hide behind furniture, but was clawed in the
back, you know, like an idiot. Got that spine, Yeah,
got that whole spinal calm the mall. The bear, not wasting much time,
found the third son, who did not manage to get out of the
house with mom and the fourth son killing them. The fourth son that was
on our back. Oh shit, there's two families here. This is why
this episode's hard because it's Japanese families and their names look very similar. Yeah,
so yeah, the fourth son. So there's the Miyuki family and the
Sido family that are in this house. You're just discovering there's two families.
I'm sorry, I forgot you wrote this fucking episode. I know, dude,
I'm sorry. It's kind of hard. The damage is really bad for
this, so I take that vappen away from you. I'm sorry. I'm
really blowing out. Huh. I think you're just like perpetually high. I've
been stoned for a little bit today, like for weeks. I don't think
you've stopped. I have stopped. I think I have to go to sleep
when you are asleep too. You're just kind of like muscle memory. You
think I'm like the guy on the air Do you see this guy in the
airplane that like he was nodding off in asleep and like lit a cigarette like
while on the plane. Have you seen this? That's fucking great. No,
dude, he's like falling asleep and he like he's you know, he's
just this dude who looks like if you were peg. This guy's anybody.
He just got off a shift, there's like alignment. Yeah right, like
just rugged ass. I think you at home have like a sleep apnea on
machine. But it's a bomb. It's just it's just a fucking just like
it's just there's like a there's like a bunch of powdered weed in a vaporizer
and just like once an hour, every hour, it just spits out you
and Katie. There's nothing to do with Katie. That's me problem, okay.
Yeah. Uh. So he eats two kids from the other family spine
Yeah so uh the second so of the Mijoki family and the fourth son of
the Sido family get killed, and then the third son of the Sido family
also gets bit. Next to be targeted was Taki uh the Sido family is
the pregnant wife of the Sido family. She too was attacked and killed.
Good lord. Yeah, so this thing has gotten six people in this house
seven seven well you count her fetus fetus seven people, right. The guardsmen
who some people wouldn't some people wouldn't I do uh, yeah, email me.
The guardsmen who tracked the bear down river realized that they were not in
fact on its trail, and then they had that moment of oh, my
god, if the bear's not here, where is it? Where is Yeah?
No, And they had that moment, so they turn around, book
it back and as they hurried back to the settlement seriously injured, Yayah,
the mom who actually made it out, she met them and related news of
the attack at the Mayuki channel. She relate news. Was she like,
you dumb motherfuckers historically speaking, she relayed news. Yeah, that's how you.
It's like, what the fuck are you doing down there? The bear's
up here? Like they're making all the wrong moves. Uh. Yeah.
The corps raced there to rescue these survivors. When they arrived, the house
was dark, but sounds of an attack emerged. So they rolled up and
they started hearing the people, you know, being attacked. It was a
bear still in there. Yeah, they can hear it in there, rummaging
around. But they believe that the bear had killed everyone inside. So it's
a new Valde situation kind of. Do you know what their suggestion was for
the bear. They're like, well, we think everyone's dead in there,
so we're gonna burn the whole house. We had trapped the bear inside the
house perfect, and they're like, we want to burn the whole house down.
Uh. But then the wife was like, hey, we don't know
if all the kids are dead or not. So if you burn this house
down, you might kill a bunch of kids. And they're like, fine,
we're gonna get the bear. Fine we won't, but just so you
know, that means now we have to go in there well and fight a
bear. I think this lady's like, look, they got all my kids
and all their kids. All of our kids are in there. All the
kids are in there pretty much like one other kid has got out. There's
like eight kids in there got out. And understand how the bear got in.
The bear just broke in, dude, but he busted in through a
window. He came in through a window. I was about to say,
they're handling this completely wrong. Just like make holes in the house big enough
to fit a barrel through and just start unloading on the bear, I guess,
or just shoot it through other windows, shoot it through other windows.
Oh it is Japan, though, so they have those just like paper walls.
Yeah. I think it's all just room dividers. Yeah, damn,
that's unfortunate. Yeah, so the guardsmen decided they're not going to burn the
house. Down. They divided it into two groups. One consisting of ten
men, stood guard at the door, while the other group of about forty
went to the back of the house. When given a signal, the group
at the rear set up a racket, shouting and rattling their weapons. As
expected, the bear showed up at the front door. The men there had
bunched up with lines of fire blocked by the guard of their head, whose
own rifle misfired amid the general confusion and risk of crossfire. Now that had
happened because someone's gun went off and everyone realized, oh shit, we're pointing
at each other with guns. The people in the back right coming around to
the front. The bear got away. They should have blown this bear to
kingdom. There's fifty people surrounding this bear. Maybe some fucking gunpowder just blown
to the fucking moon. Well they wanted to, but they're like, oh,
you'll kill the kids. Yeah, think about how many more kids are
gonna die now because you didn't kill those eight kids in the one bear.
So he's a menace. Math guys, Yeah, you just kill you,
just do it. But this is my favorite part of the story. It's
it might be the tropiest part of all where they find like a ragged mystical
person to help God. Wait, can I tell you one more than why
they should have burned the bear alive with all those kids. Yes, don't
ask for forgiveness, ask for permission. No, that's what they that's people
always say. Don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness. Don't ask for
forgiveness, ask for applause. After you do something unforgivable, take a bow.
Yeah, and you will get it. You're welcome. Yeah, bear
problems solved, you would get a hero like people be like, well the
bear's gone. Yeah, be like, I mean, okay, On the
one hand, he take kids on fire, but he's so insistent that he's
a hero that he might be. Yeah. Well it's like how many families
are your twenty? Only two of them lost on their kids, but there's
no more bear. I like them. Settlement sounds okay because I ain't too.
Yeah. So, uh yeah, there was a local man that they
decided to go see. His name was Yamamoto Haikichi, and he was an
expert bear hunter, and uh yeah, they were all like, we gotta
go get this guy and like seek So now I got to go to the
grizzled veteran quint from Jaws if you will, yes, yes, exactly,
or like a dollar Jurassic Park. Yeah, gotta bring in the expert.
Yeah exactly. That's were you referring to Chris Pratt in the Jurassic World series.
Certainly not. I was sinking with his inexplicable lever action rifle. That
was weird. Why did he have that? Who? What are you stopping
the raptors? Yes? Oh yeah, blue and cool. But we're friends.
We're friends, dinosaur, We're boys. I give you food. Come
on, man, you're a fucking liz. But you know you're kind of
a million Yeah no, that makes no sense. An't they chickens? They
are, they're well, red tiles and birds are similar, but not that
similar anyway. Yamamoto is certain that this was the bear. Oh, this
bear was the dreaded man eater he had nicknamed ke or the diagnos slash from
the shoulder, which is a white pattern from the back to the chest that
the bear had previously been spotted having. So he he's like, this is
the bear I've been looking for for years. It was this is moby dick.
Yeah, it had previously been blamed for the mauling and deaths of three
women in a neighboring village, but they could never catch it. So this
thing is like he's been hunting this bear for a while, like at least
five years. This bear's going through portals. Yeah, this is a this
is a notorious bear at this point. Uh. But unfortunately for all the
people of the township. Yeah, I'm a moto was a huge drunk well,
and he was of no use as a bear hunter because he had pawned
his gun for money to buy alcohol and gamble. That's why he's been hunting
this bear for years. He hasn't had a gun the whole time. I've
been hunting this bear for twenty years. God is the eighteen years I didn't
have a gun gambling. I really just followed it drunk time. No,
it's like they take all your weapons away when you go into like the Safari
zones. So they give you rocks. Wait, you can get rocks rocks
animals, Yeah in the Safari zone. Talk about Pokemon. Yeah oh yeah,
yeah, you get you get Safari balls. Yeah. But they suck,
They do suck. They suck hard. Uh. Yeah. So they
were like we just don't fucking know what to do here. Uh, we
don't know what the expert like, we just don't know what to do.
So they're trying to figure it out, and they decide that the bear would
most probably try to retrieve bodies of those that had killed from the house,
the Miochi family house. Oh, it would come back and yeah, like
got some food there, like it would know it takes trophies. Yeah,
it's like a real you actually find it, like in Predator, like cleaning
the skull in the tree. He's actually it's a euro trophy. Yeah,
yeah, for sure. So they wait around the Miochi house and the bear
doesn't appear for two days, so it's like, hey, it gets away.
They just leave, but they leave the little kid bodies in there.
They leave bodies in there. What else is he going to come back for?
So yeah, a new plan was proposed. You kind of figured out
the attempt to lure the bear out after those two days. Uh, they'd
actually clean the house out. I'm reading this style, but they actually cleaned
the house out and they tossed a body back in because they knew the bear
would come back. And then they can smell right three miles so, uh,
this plan was widely condemned by most of the village. Yeah. Yeah,
they were like, please don't do that. I just thought they were
playing and he just didn't know it's on strength fun sport for them. What
do you mean? Thought like the thought people were having a good old time
with the kids. And then you know, I was at the park today
with my kid or both my kids and my wife and there was some kids
playing football and one was like clearly an older brother or something. I mean,
he must have been like a sophomore junior in high school. I'll say
like sophomore because he was kind of cheesy, and these other kids were like
sixth grade. And he threw some blocks. Hit man, he threw some
fucking blocks. That's awesome. The one thing I've always noticed with football is
like if you play football with little kids and you're playing with a real football,
you have to be really careful how you throw that ball. You can't
play with a full sized football, not like an NFL football, but even
like just a real not a nerve football, right because you will can't whip
it at it. You can't like you can't even throw it that hard like
lofted. Yeah, it has to be like a light toss. Hit your
hands, you better come down with it. It's you can go to Yeah,
now you gotta hit him in the chest. You got him really in
the chest. Yeah. Otherwise they almost break their fingers on the football.
It's crazy. They're so fragile. They are a little tiny. Yeah,
so uh not good bear hunters. It turns out the side of Myoki and
Ota families, the ones with their kids mould. We're not the biggest fans
of that, but yeah, everyone in the guard ship was like, Hey,
we're gonna do it. It's we gotta kill this bear who already asked
us not to light the house on fire with your kids in it. I
just at some point you need to understand that you're not the only people who
matter. Yeah, the rest of the village pretty much said the exact same
thing. They're like, we're doing this, yeah, like what, we
don't want another family with a bunch of dead bear maled kids, right,
Like this can't go on anymore. Within the day the strategy was executed,
a six member sniper team waited inside the house like inside the house, ready,
like we're gonna get this bear finally, but the bear showed up to
the house, looked inside a window, and then just dipped. He saw
them in there and just left. So they did, like though, apparently
like it showed up and they weren't ready for it. They thought it would
go inside, so they had no one outside. What yeah, just went
outside and shoot it when it starts walking away, Yeah what yeah, it
ran away. It deserves to kill everyone in this town. Uh what Yeah,
this isn't home alone with the whole points just to keep the bear out
of the house. So they played after that was the way again in the
house, and uh, the bear you know, didn't show back up.
It just sounds like the Japanese had a hard time of guns kind of maybe
because they came up with the samurai sword. So yeah, why didn'tone just
stab the signifucking death? Everyone was waiting around at another house for bear news
because at dawn a search team discovered that the Otav family, the original family
that was stacked by the bear, their house was ransacked again. Okay,
so the bear had gone back. Yeah, the bear gone back to their
house. So he saw the people at the minuku. Yeah, all the
attention over there, and he's like, you know what, me going back
over there. The bear had eaten the people's winter food stockpile, the entire
thing. Okay, so not only has it injured their children, now it's
basically sending them to death. Right. The bear damaged at least eight houses,
but so far no one could find it. So everyone just goes to
the same place expecting the bear, and the bear's like, oh, well,
you left everything on guarded. I'm gonna go where you weren't. Yeah,
the bear is smart. It's like like the same baseball you know where
they ain't. Pretty much, that's all the bear does. So they're gonna
hit us with the shift. Okay, lay a bunt down the third baseline.
I wish more people would have done that. Someone could have hit four
hundred, just button down the baseline, Ryan Howard. Yeah, literally,
it's like in percentage of zero. It's good though, right, four hundred
pretty good? Yeah, even if it's all bunts. Yeah, I mean
it's not the most useful thing. Well, we know Rob doesn't respect Tony
Quinn, so right, kind of not the BUTNT leader, it's just single
leader, Yeah, a single later he just hits little slappers. I like
that little cuty slappers. I like people another place, squeak one through the
hole. Yeah. The police captain at this point his name was Suga.
He motivated the men by cheering from the village outside, which is like,
what fuck, I dude just going there? You got this guy? You
to be The way all this reads is, uh, no one wants to
actually deal with the bear. Yeah, they're all terrified of it, especially
as no one can shoot. So apparently like that, he decides to around
up sixty more men and they decide they gott to go hunt in the surrounding
mountains because the bear had run off again. Uh. So he seemed the
bear, I mean Kegasaki were naming it what that guy called it, he
seemed to stretch his territory a lot more downstream this river they were by.
So the police captain recognized the increasing risk of the situation because there's another village
down there, and uh he decided to make a line of defense like before
another the other village. Yeah. When you get to the point where some
of these citizens deem their actions of failure and start to supuku themselves, someone
should have taken their life for this. I think I I think everyone that's
a guard has they at least have to like send one as tribute. Yeah.
Like, guys, it's like a ancient rome. You know, you
decimate a unit that doesn't perform, well, you kill one out of every
ten, So we need five dudes out of that fifty. You're gonna love
this. Uh So, he decides he's gonna make an ice bridge over the
river and wait for the bear or like suicides to puokoo yourself as the bears
behind you, so you catch the bear. So catches the bear through.
Yeah, like but that's like that's an honorable death, I think so,
I very Yeah, none of them have this. Sorry. Uh So he
decides to make an ice bridge as a line of defense and then arranges snipers
and guards along the ice bridge. That night, a sniper at the bridge
thought he saw something in the shadows of the tree stumps on the opposite shore.
Receiving this information, the captain thought it might be a man's shadow when
he spoke to it. He called out to it, However, he received
no reply. In ordered the snipers open fire. At that moment, the
bear popped up ran away on unhurt. Of course, Yeah, they were
disappointed having failed to kill the bear. But the captain thought he had heard
some response from it, meaning hey, I think we might have hit it,
okay, but they're not sure. He would have just been like,
you know, and then no one says anything. You're making sure it's not
a person, like okay, he just throw a fucking some raw meat out,
yeah, and then run back and be like, all right, are
we sure it's the same bear? Every time it is the same bear.
It has a distinct marking. It's got this weird white fur mark that goes
from its like back to its shoulder. He's got a name. It's Kesaki.
Okay, I'm just asking questions. He's the terror bear, the terror
bear. But what if there's more than one. He's probably got a family.
But anyway. The next morning, a team investigated the opposite shore and
found a bear's footprint and blood there. Given that Kasagaki had a again been
wounded, they actually were able to confirm that all wound happen. That imminent
snowstorms were threatening to cover any tracks, it was decided that this was the
most critical opportunity to kill the bear, so a team of two out of
sixty decided it'd be quicker for them to do it. Well, I mean
you're gonna move quicker. You are going to move quicker. Yeah, I
think you know. At this point too, they know that they lost the
bear the first time. Yeah, because of snow. So we can't lose
it. This is how this went last time. So they ended up getting
deep into the woods. They spotted the bear resting near Japanese oak, and
they got as close as they fucking could to this bear. They got within
like fifteen meters of it, which is your fifteen yards. You're done.
It's closing distance for a bear over again. Yeah, and they were able
to hit it immediately in the heart, immediate hearts shot, and then they
fired off a second round instantaneously, two different rifles. The other guy hit
it in the head, killing the animal. Bang, head and heart done.
They had to get fifteen meters to this bear. You gotta be sure,
Yeah, no, I mean, you can't be a show off and
try to hit it from you know, two hundred meters three hundred meters.
No, no, no, They at this point the amount of damage this
thing had done and the amount of times they hadn't caught it there like we
it's basically a suicide mission. If you don't hit and then As they approached
the bear's corpse, undertaker Jiff from the dead. It's funny you say that.
No, I'm kidding. The bear was dead, but one last hoorah.
When measured, it turned out the bear wasn't even as big as they
thought. This was one of the smaller ones. It was just really fucking
smart, more than one bear. It was eight point nine feet tall,
so almost nine feet tall, and seven hundred and fifty pounds. Okay,
so two feet taller than Shack. Yeah. Yeah, still seven hundred and
fifty pounds almost one thousand pounds, three quarters of a thousand pounds. How
how how much does that guy in the Eagles Way from Georgia, the fucking
giant Jahn Carter? Oh no, no, jam Carter's not that big of
Jordan Davis. Jordan Davis. Yeah, it's like three fifties over three bills
easily. Yeah, okay, so twice his weight and and yeah, one
of the smaller ones. That's one of the smaller ones. Yeah. He
was also uh They found out though, that his head was like absurdly large,
So he had a big brain. He had a huge brain. He
was like the largest, like compared to the size of its body, huge
head. They'd never seen anything like it. I'm telling it Satan. I
think he jammed himself into the head. Yeah. What the villagers did.
They dismantled, boiled and ate it. But yeah, they were like as
revenge for victims who had been devoured. I wanted to go back to when
we were talking about the best case scenario for hunting and bear. You get
to eat a bear, which I don't find to be a delightful meat.
Have you had it? It's not great, I remember it just being tough.
Yeah, it doesn't. It's not even something that I'm like that,
Yeah, that I'm interested in eating. Like, I just don't think it's
like eating like a fat dog or something, you know what I mean.
Like, it's just I would rather have a pet bear then eat bear.
Yeah, I just that's not Oh yeah, eating bear sounds disgusting. It
honestly to me, it sounds like eating like a giant possel, you know,
Like a bear to me doesn't seem like it's not like cattle. It's
not like a cloven hoofed animal. It's got paws. That's weird. They're
kind of trash animals. Yeah, Like I think anything with paws probably shouldn't
be eaten. They're pretty muscular. I would think they would be tasty because
they do have a lot of fat on them. Like, do we even
really eat anything with paws in this country, like traditionally, I'm trying to
think. I don't think we do. I think it's all pigs, cows,
ghosts, anything with chicken and birds. Yeah, horses too. Horses
have hoofs. Yeah, I know, like we don't eat shit with paws.
Yeah, but yeah. Once this bear was killed, people started to
believe that the bear was a demon that was sent to them to tell them
to leave. I caught it. Yeah, yeah, I think that's not
inaccurate. Yeah, it's also the easiest explanation. It transformed to a ghost
town about a year later, and oh they took they took it. Seriously,
They're like, that was a demon. We gotta go. Yeah,
they all left everyone like okay. Yeah. They were like we why would
we live here, which begs the question why did you wait? Why didn't
you just leave then? Like I don't understand. Yeah, like everything the
coast is clear, you don't have to leave now. Yeah, it's like
you should have left the year before killed the demon killed. You killed a
demon? Why didn't you leave before you had to? But whatever? Anyway,
Uh, yeah, so I guess a guy who was six years old
at the time grew up to become a prolific bear hunter. He ended up
killing. Uh he wanted to kill ten bears for every victim of the attack.
By the time he reached the age of sixty two, he'd killed one
hundred and two bears. Sure that makes sense. Yeah, that's just cool.
But then the bears will understand that message. One of the bears he
killed was an eleven hundred pound male brown bear who is nicknamed the North Sea
Terror that stuffed on display today. But yeah, I just want to tell
you about this that didn't die for a while until it did, until it
did, and then how bad people weren't killing it because it was the whole
nightmare I just happened about one hundred years ago. There's just nothing you can
do. What a bear pop said. This says bear meat tastes like beef,
but with a sweeter taste. I disagree. Yeah I didn't. I
wasn't gonna say that, but I had heard there was like a sweetness to
it, which didn't make it sound better. It's like rich, too rich,
Like at least the Bear I had it was it was super tough,
like fatty. I don't know, No, I don't know what the fuck
I ate. It sounds gross. It wasn't good. I just didn't care
for it. Sounds very gross. Yeah, what did you guys learning today?
Japanese aren't great with guns, clearly, dude, Oh my god.
I don't think they were good with plans in the settlements. Also kind of
I'm curious, like what kind of people were settling in Japan and like there,
That's what I want to know. Why do we have such a hard
time with Japan in World War Two? Well, we were fighting two wars.
I get that. Yeah, it split fronts. It was very naval,
wasn't it. It's extreme. Yeah, But if this is their ancestors,
this is the kind of people that are coming from one bears taking them
out. Yeah, it's true. Well they got to they got to cut
their teeth in China for a while. I mean, did you really figure
things out? That's true. They had a lot of practice. They had
a ten year sort of like training sash before we even got into the war.
Training sash is the most g way of saying what they were doing.
I know, this is truly the most horrific metal shit you've ever heard in
your life. Yeah, it's It's a good point though, Like I know,
our pioneers did some dumb shit, like in the eighteen hundreds and stuff.
When they were doing all the like fur trapping and shit. You know,
they were getting into weird shit. But like you also hear about guys
like tying their fucking like hair together and like making rafts and shit like the
Revenu guy m. You know, also when you're out there on the trail,
gotta worry about bear traps stepping on just stuff the French plant plus the
natives. Yeah, it's pretty like homogenite here. You're only worrying about one
bear. Not that tough, You're it's Japanese bandits. You know, you
hear about bandits, but like band it's been everywhere, it's forever thing.
I guess not really, I don't know. I feel like bandits don't go
deep into the the thick of it. It seems like all you have all
these weapons, fifty guys with rifles plus one bear. It should have been
done so many times, like the house, maybe one kid dies, but
not all the kids. They should have bare minimum, just burn bare minimum.
They should have done, just burned the house down at that point.
Yeah, but it is a demon, so it probably would have survived the
fire. Yeah. Well, I get like, oh, we gotta save
acoon, and it's like, actually, you're wrong. There were no kids
left in there, and the ones we did get out, we're gonna toss
one back now because we didn't burn the house in the first place. It
does I I did. What I did learn it really is that there's frightening
wildlife in Japan. I just really always have you Japan like England or like
even New England, you know what I mean, just the northeast where it's
like, oh there's nothing, you know, like there's nothing scary except for
bears. There are bears there, but there's not like grizzlies and ship They
still bears do they only have black bears? I honestly have no idea what
kind of wildlif they have in Japan. Again, are Komodo dragons there?
No, No, those are where. That's like Indonesia and stuff. They
don't just migrate up, they swim over. That don't be a nightmare.
Oh my God, can you imagine? Those are the most terrifying animals.
They can kill you, well, their bike can kill you, piss,
but they can also just kill you without the poison too. Dragons were real
at one point. They had to have been right, I have had to
be well. According to our boy Graham Hancock, there's some sort of like
glass boned winged serpent in every culture. Plus the Komodo dragon can just open
its show. Yeah, it's wide. It's just Indonesia. Indonesia, by
the way, that's also a low key terrifying place. Yes, will never
go there. Indonesia is where people like people get eaten by fucking pythons.
There, there's kmodo dragons Indonesia. Have you ever read about Bali, Indonesia?
I don't know. I don't actually I think it. I think it
is is it is Bali? Thailand's Indonesia Indonesia? Okay, Yeah, Bali
seems like a place you want to visit at some point in your life.
But I'm not going outside of that. Yeah. The thing that Indonesia is
huge. Indonesia is gigantic. I think it's like the fifth or sixth biggest
the country. I think it's big country's what population was in the world fourth
Actually no, oh, it's above Brazil and we've done zero stories on it
in our podcast. Well, it's been mentioned. We talked about how they
sent black slaves to China. We have talked about how Islam made it there.
Yea, it's mentioned. Yeah, we've I have done anything on it.
We haven't really done a deep Indonesia might have the biggest gripe on earth
of being overlooked. Oh my god, the entire like Pacific island, like
Oceania, Indonesia. Yeah, yeah, standing army, it can't be big.
It's probably I never hear anything about their military capacity. It's not they
have a good navy. I don't know what they have. They don't have
a I don't think they have a Greek They just have a lot of people.
I don't think they have if you need someone to throw bodies. So
India's number one, China's number two, the US is number three, and
then honestly, like you know, Indonesia will probably catch maybe could maybe catch
us in the next century because just because we don't fuck anymore. But they're
seventy million, sixty called sixty actually sixty million people behind the us. Are
they a friend? Are they an ally Indonesia? Not really? I don't
know. Weird we got them under control, we think we do we end
up going to war with China. I think we actually have good relations enough.
Are they on our side of China? I think, well, they're
a majority Muslim country, so you think you would think at some point they
would be they would understand that doesn't like Muslims like anyone. Yeah, atheist,
but yeah, that's that's what I learned today. And today's hitler is
the bear h clearly. Actually no, the guy that decided not to burn
the house that was that was a grieving mother that wanted Oh you're seeing the
person that listened to the grieving mother. Yeah, okay, I I think
you might have to go with captain shouting from outside the village. You got
it, you got good. I'm going to the bear Yeah, the bear
snipers, the bear hunter that had been chasing this specific guy down for years.
I love. I don't think he was that is my favorite. No,
I think you can follow him. He was hunting him, but he
was following him with anything. He was stalking him. He was a fan.
Really, Yeah, he's following him the way I go to the bear
hunter and he's like, that's the work of Kegasaki. I've been following that
bear for fifteen years, and I swear to go, oh, you're gonna
help us, nah man. I sold my gun for booze. Yeah.
I will pick up the bones though, like I would love his heady.
Yeah. Well that's it for today, guys, Happy New Year, Happy
New Year, Love y'all for dinner of just a Rob Fox some chick Goldman
just got Saucer.