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Hudson River Radio dot com. It
beats listening to nothing. Being Frank.

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We're the only way to be,
is Frank. Wellwyn and welcome to Being

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Frank. We're the only way to
be, is Frank. I'm your host,

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Frank Lebono, and we'd like to
thank you for joining us here on

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the Intelligence Conversation podcast. We know
that your time is valuable and competition is

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of podcasts out there. What you like

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to think of ourselves as an alternative
to all that noise, So really appreciate

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you sharing some of your day with
Being Frank. You stream from Hudson River

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Radio dot com and beautiful and historic
Stony Point, New York. We're the

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mailman because he always delivers. Mister
Neil Richter as our engineer, and that's

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If you go to the site and
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our audience a new topical program every
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your convenience and remember every program as
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Being Frank virtually anytime that you want
to. We think it's the intelligent thing

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to do. We're taping on June
first and opening up Pride Month. When

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my first guest shared her journey with
me to find her authentic self, I

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was blown away by her strength,
commitment, integrity, compassion, and humanity.

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It changed me forever because it put
a face on what had been just

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a movement for me, a face
that I loved and respected. She has

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been gracious enough to join us here
at Being Frank to share her story story

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with our audience and launch our celebration
of Pride Month. Welcome Diana has a

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happy Pride. Oh thank you,
Frank. That was so sweet. I'm

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really really humbled by your introduction and
I'm so excited to be here on day

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one of Pride months. Well,
I certainly meant that. I really do

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use a euphemism. I don't blow
smoke. I try to be as real

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as I can. That's why I
call it being frank, mistakes and all.

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So I really mean all of that. I had known you in a

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previous life kind of if you will, and that a new life and the

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connection to me was just fascinating in
the journey. But before we get into

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it, and I want to talk
a little bit about it, why did

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you decide to do the show?
A lot of people might feel an awkward

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is it necessary for me to broadcast
my sexuality, etc. But you didn't

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hesitate at all. As a matter
of fact, you jumped at the opportunity.

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Why Because I think that I have
gone through something. You know,

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I'm just one story. But I
think what my feeling is now is that

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if someone can relate to my journey
or know that there were obstacles along the

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way, but you come out the
other side and you're like, oh my

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god, this is happiness, this
is joy, this is where I'm supposed

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to be. Um, you know, so I think you know not to

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not to get really down in the
in the early stage of this podcast,

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But I do want to say that, you know, Mental Health Month was

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just um last month yesterday actually just
finished. And you know, we've had

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a very tough few years with the
pandemic UM, but mental health and the

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LGBTQ community is also off the charts
in terms of um, you know,

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not being able to live your authentic
self, or to be able to tell

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family, or to be able to
be yourself. And I think that for

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me, it's you know, the
word that I never thought that I would

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use is it's easy to be me. And that's how I feel. Well,

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let's let's talk a little bit about
your story, Diana, and we

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hinted at it a little bit.
You had a traditional if you will,

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If to use a word, we
have to use certain phrases. I know,

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words trigger and but we have to
have a conversation. You started out,

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if you will, in a traditional
marriage. You were married for six

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and a half years. You had
children, two daughters, correct, and

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I we're going to let you brag
about them shortly. Don't worry, I

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don't do that about it. That
no, no, your grandma's don't Oh,

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I gave away another hint. Grandma's
never never brag about their kids or

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grandchildren, but even that the whole
idea of family and it's still a family.

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But but how did you? How
did you and what gave you the

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impetus to make the change to become
your authentic self after living a traditional life?

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Okay, and then you came out
and you have a partner, and

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you've been here with your partner,
Emily for your wife for twenty one years.

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You were only married for six and
a half, so it gives people

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a certain perspective. But if if
you would, could you, could you

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share your process, your thought process
went through your mind in making that change

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in particular, So I never worried
about my confidence as a person in my

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life, my career, my choices, my goals. Um, but I

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knew deep down that I was not
the and I'm going to use your word,

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but I was not going to be
the traditional wife. Although and I

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think there are many men and women
who do this. Um, you don't.

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You don't live your truth. So
therefore, you know, I grew

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up. It was like, Okay, I'm going to date, I'm going

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to go to plan, I'm going
to do all this stuff as a woman

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identified with all right, So but
I never really had any serious thoughts.

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But I always knew I wanted children. That was like buff four marriage,

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you know that I always knew that
I wanted to become a mom number one,

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and thank god, you know,
that came true. And it's been

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a dream ninety nine point nine percent
of the time when they were little.

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Lol. But what I was going
to say was when I married, I

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married. I definitely fell in love
with this man and I we had the

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same goals, and you know,
it was like, let's build a house,

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let's build a life, and let's
build a family, you know,

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and then it became during the course
of that the suppression or the life that

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you know, the other life.
It wasn't like schizophrenia. It was just

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sort of this pushdown right. So
it's like something was there. But I

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couldn't live that way because I grew
up in a traditional family, in a

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you know, very progressive family.
I must say. You know, moment

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was a public school teacher in a
principal and my dad was an architect,

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very community but doing this or thinking
about the process of coming out was absolutely

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not cool, Like, couldn't have
done it. And imagine going through school

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in nineteen seventies nineteen eighties, couldn't
do it, didn't feel it, you

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know, grew up in the suburbs. Who do I know? Who are

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the ros that I know that are
living this life? You know? And

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all I saw was on television.
It was I'm going to age myself,

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but it was Ray O'Donnell, it
was Ellen DeGeneres, and they became sort

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of these like, oh if they
could do it. But then look at

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the price that they paid, right, they paid heat prices and that scared

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the blah blah blah out of me. And I was really nervous. But

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I knew that my marriage not that
it was bad. And like I said,

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we loved each other. And to
this day, you know, he's

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the first person that I came out
to fashion. I want to ask you

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about that. What he said to
me when I told him about Emily,

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my wife, is that, you
know. I said, you know,

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I have this person that I met
and I'm in love with her. And

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he just said, are you happy? And I said I am happy and

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he goes, that's all I want
and that's all I want for you.

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So that was cool. That was
really cool. So the journey was,

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you know, suppressing who I who
I was, and then when I came

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out, unfortunately with Emily Is we
had to wait to share our relationship to

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my family because they just were not
accepting of it. You know, there

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wasn't any um what shall I say? There was. The drama was my

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inability to be able to be comfortable
telling them how I felt, you know,

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and I always say this to my
kids that you know, I want

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you to do whatever you want to
do and whatever makes you the happiest.

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And I've never ever judged their choices. Well, well what about you?

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What about your family? Then what
about your folks too? When you eventually

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came out to them? What kind
of response did you get from them?

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So it was shocking, shocking for
them. Yeah, it was hard.

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I had been divorced three years and
so then three years later than that,

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you know, that's how long it
took. But it's it was a work.

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It was a work in process progress, And it's the same thing for

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anyone I think who comes from a
family that it's like mom, dad and

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the kids. You know, back
in the day, it looked different,

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you know, my going to dinner
looked different, my going to the movies

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look different. Everything looked different,
but I felt, you know, you

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know, just enthusiastic and ecstatic.
And I felt like I woke up,

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you know, from a very long
sleep and just really ecstatic. It did

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nothing, nothing changed in terms of
the love, you know. And I

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always say that again for this podcast, is that some people think that family

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will never come back to them or
they just can't do it, but you

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do it and you live with it, and acceptance is a beautiful friend.

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And I had friends who I talked
to, you know, so it really

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took a village. I mean I
had friends, very close friends who to

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this day who I came out to
and they were like wow, and not

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that it was super shocking, but
just they were so supportive having gone through

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it. And in your particular time, what advice would you give to others

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who are feeling the strain of coming
out? What? What? What?

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What advice might you give to them
how they should And I'm sure it must

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be different for everyone because of obviously
different family circumstances, et cetera, But

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there is is there any common thread
that you can think that might help someone

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through this difficult time of actually coming
out and expressing themselves, because not every

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it's not universally well received. It's
one of the reasons why we're here having

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this discussion. So at this point
we hope to get there. So what

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would you recommend? I mean,
I think coming out is even like it

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sounds so old, you know,
so last century, you know. I

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think for people now, it's just
hey, this is who I am.

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I'm Diana hass Right, you're Frank
Leblono. I don't go out. Hi,

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I'm Diana Hassan. I'm gay right, It's I wear a wedding ring.

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I go to work. I sometimes
my wife will, you know,

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she'll be surprised. But I take
the recycling or the garbage down to the

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end of the driveway every week,
you know. And I think the thing

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is today is marriage is marriage doesn't
matter, you know, your work life

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is your world. I just think
it's really different now. I think,

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you know, in different parts of
the country. And you know, I

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don't want to get I certainly don't
want to get political around this because I'll

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leave that to Brook malloy because she
does it so well. But I will

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say that it's a scary time.
I'm very angry about the regression. I'm

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very angry that people. You know, it's like my girl said to me,

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didn't you march for this stuff?
Like fifty years ago or something like

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that. And there are certain places
where people do not understand it, do

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not accept it. And you know
what, people don't have to you know,

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agree with everything. You know,
the cliche agree to disagree is okay.

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And I think, you know,
you just have to be, you

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know, be who you are.
That's all I can say. And I

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go into work and that is hi, you know, here I am and

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I'm you know out, you know, here's an out, you know,

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executive at Juannio. It's not it's
just there's Diana. And I think the

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good thing is is that hopefully,
you know, it becomes more of a

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non issue. But when it becomes
a threat or if it becomes something there

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somebody is going after you because you
are, then that causes fear. But

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you have to fight through it.
You have to stand up for it.

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How old were you when you first
became aware of your sexuality? Very young

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age? And absolutely? Yeah,
yeah, you mean you knew you had

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the inkling immediately that yeah, I
mean, you know, it's attraction,

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right either you're attracted to this,
but it's really attraction to that person.

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And I knew, um that I
was attracted you know to women, but

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it was like okay, and I
just had to follow, you know,

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the path back in the day.
But I think it's very you know,

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people are attracted to you know,
whoever they're attracted to you, Well,

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what was your It must be frustrating. It had to be frustrating for you

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to have those feelings and yet as
you know, you had to suppress them

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or you thought that was the right
path to take. What what? What?

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What? What was that? Like? Was that frustrating for you?

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I mean, I think it's was
it frustrating? I don't know if it

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was frustrating because I don't think I
brought it to the surface. I think

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it was sort of like, you
know, you're swimming in a pool and

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it's like it's like a duck,
right, So you see this pretty duck

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on top of the water and they're
paddling like hell underneath. Nobody sees it,

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but they just keep moving. So
I think the thing was is for

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me is I knew it, but
I just was paddling like how and just

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keep moving and you know, being
I think really being the person that I

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thought other people wanted me to be. And that's what I don't deal with

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now. It's like whatever people want
to say, think, believe fine,

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you know, it's just it's different
now. Back when I first, um,

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you know, shared with people that
I was in love with Emily and

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that I was building a life that
way, it was I'm sure it was

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a shock to a lot of people, but you know, it was in

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the early two thousands, and I
will tell you that, you know,

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when I was at Juwanio, the
first thing that the new CEO did at

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the time was ensure that the contracts
and the lead I don't know if the

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right worst contract, but the benefits
included domestic partner benefits. And she was

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very progressive, and you know,
I was like, this is the place

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where this is cool. You know, this, this is life moving on,

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this is society moving on. It's
a safe bubble to be in,

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you know. But you know,
like I said, suppression is not a

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great thing. I mean, everybody
suppresses a whole lot of things. But

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if you can't be your authentic self
physically, mentally, especially, you know,

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it's it's a really hard gig,
you know, it really is.

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Oh would you have been comfortable having
this conversation, say ten or fifteen years

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00:16:38.279 --> 00:16:42.840
ago, we have well let's start
there and then we'll take it from there.

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Would you have had this even had
this conversation, let's say again ten

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or fifteen years ago. So yes, I think so, But I wouldn't

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have been probably. I have all
of this life experience and raising children and

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raising children who see no color and
no gender, and you know, they've

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helped me, and you know,
in so many ways. And they they

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you know, they've grown up with
us being married and having a dad and

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having you know, his marriage to
his wife and another love and couple,

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and they're surrounded by love. Really, But ten or fifteen years ago,

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yeah, I would. I'm twenty
we're celebrating twenty one years. So the

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other thing, too, was I
was a part of a traditional egalitarian conservative

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synagogue and oh my god, I
tell you, you know that that was

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rough. But again, you have
two rabbis, Craig Chef and Paula Drill,

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who you know, took me in
with open arms and really allowed me

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to shine and have confidence. And
I was the first woman who actually lifted

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a torah on the what they call
the Beema, And I'm sure other people

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are saying, how could they do? You know, first of all,

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having a woman, you know,
do that in a conservative situation, but

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it was egalitarian and to do that, and they gave me the confidence to

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do that, So I would say, yes, I probably would, because

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there were so many people that just
like put their metaphorical arms around me and

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we're like, you go good.
So I think, you know, that

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really was a pretty much pretty big
eye opener and pretty big confidence builder,

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because you know, you can be
in a pretty low place when you're shedding

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skin, right, So well,
with with that mind then unbalanced again,

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considering and we should talk about a
little bit more your feelings towards some of

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00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:52.000
the anti gay legislation that's particularly in
Florida, but it's everywhere. It's it's

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not and that's the sad part.
It's not exclusive show for us. That's

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another hour, Yeah, yeah,
exactly, but we'll say a little bit

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of time for that. But even
even with that said, the fact that

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you are here openly speaking about it, openly living your life, have we

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made progress? Oh my god?
Yes, I mean, if I listen,

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I've always said this and when phillis
Frank you know, began this.

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I worked with her um as I
was vice president of the National Organization of

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Women, and you know, it
was her vision to start the Pride Center.

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And I always said that if I
was a teenager when the Pride Center

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was around, it would have happened
earlier. But as I've said to my

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life took another death and I wouldn't
have had my girls. Um. You

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know, we're found Emily. So
I think, you know, all things

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00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:48.359
being equal, have things changed,
yes, um, I think you know,

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especially with teenagers then you're struggling with
so many things. You know that.

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I think places like that have to
be safe harbor U And I think

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if you are you know, strong
enough and you know there are threats out

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there to everyone at one point or
another. Um. I just think that

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now, yes, it is easier
because we are living our lives. We're

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just doing your day to day you
know. I mean you mentioned your wife

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Emily and her family and early on
the difficulties have they come around? How

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did they come from? My baults? Yeah? Whose parents were around?

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My parents? Emily? Emily was
you know, she was out way before

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me. So yes, okay,
So you meant your parents were again stay

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corrected. Then again you said it's
through a process. Was there was there

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any kind of epiphany for them as
there was for you? I mean,

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is that too strong a word because
it was more a gradual process or is

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there one particular moment where an aha
moments where they said it's it's Diana and

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still will always be Diana. You
know that. Yes, I mean,

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and I hope to continue to be
that. But my my thing is I

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fell in love with this person and
I wanted to share that, you know,

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I didn't want to be you know, dancing in the streets about it.

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I mean, we all, you
know, find love in our lives,

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hopefully, And it was something that
I wanted to shout from the rooftops

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because number one, my wife is
the most amazing person in the world.

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But at the same time, I
couldn't shout it from the ms in the

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beginning. So that that was you
know, you talk about struggle or epiphany.

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The struggle was real. The struggle
was in the first few years.

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It's difficult for her, for us
to not you know, be able to

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be out I'll use that word now. There was no epiphany. It was

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just the epiphany was Oh my God, I'm in love with this woman,

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and that's the epiphany. And oh
yeah, by the way, I'm you

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know, it wasn't like gay Diana. You know, Diana fell in love

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with this person now living my chees. So yeah, And I think you

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and I are often like minded in
that sense where and I understand the need

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for a certain amount of advocacy,
particularly in the gay community, and for

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00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:33.359
obvious reasons, but I yearned for
a time where there are no terms.

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If you wilp, We're all just
human beings. It's all. It's Diana

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and Emily. It doesn't have to
be that gay couple or that lesbian couple

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or whatever. Will there be a
day where we can really get beyond those

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labels. I mean, listen that
they wrote the song Somewhere a West Side

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Story in the nineteen sixties. Right
somewhere there's a place for us. I

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think we're still trying to, you
know, make a more perfect union,

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right, So we're still we're still
on that journey. We're human, and

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I think that's the part that people
don't get, is that we're all of

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this human race. And that's it's
it's tough right now, It just really

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is people are people. Love is
love you. You always hear the state,

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but we have to start living in
Yeah. I have more questions for

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00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:30.079
you, including your your run for
state senate in nineteen ninety one. I

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00:23:30.119 --> 00:23:33.920
want to talk a little bit about
that and what that meant and what you

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00:23:33.960 --> 00:23:38.200
could have brought to the party there, et cetera. And but we're gonna

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take a quick break, just for
a couple of minutes, and we'll come

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00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:47.000
back and we'll continue our discussion.
It's bright months, it's June. We're

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00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:51.000
taping on June first. This is
Being Frank. We're the only way to

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00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:53.680
be is Frank. I'm your host, Frank LaVona. My very special guest

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00:23:55.240 --> 00:23:59.680
sharing her wonderful story with us is
Diana Hess. We're back with more Being

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00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:06.039
Frank. Right after these brief commercial
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It features historic radio shows from the
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00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:48.960
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Check out Big Jim Wheelers Classic Radio
Theater on Apple Podcasts, iHeart, Spotify,

319
00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:08.079
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hudson River Radio dot com. Welcome

320
00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:12.160
back to Being Frank. We're the
only way to be is Frank. I'm

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00:25:12.200 --> 00:25:17.039
your host, Frank Lebono. You
know we're here every week with the topical

322
00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:22.359
program. We have our own website
at Hudson River Radio dot com. Just

323
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:26.519
look at Being Frank and you can
find any podcast that we've done from the

324
00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:29.519
beginning. And it's been over a
year. As a matter of fact,

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00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:34.160
this is podcast number seventy five.
We keep rolling along and we're celebrating Pride

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00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:38.839
Month with our very special guest,
Diana Has Diana again, thank you for

327
00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:44.480
joining us. A great first half
of a conversation, and let's continue.

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00:25:44.880 --> 00:25:51.400
In nineteen ninety one, you ran
for the state Senate. What gave you

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00:25:51.480 --> 00:25:55.720
the mindset to do that? And
tell us about that as an experience.

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00:25:56.920 --> 00:26:00.880
Um, yes, that was an
experience, but it was very formative experience.

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00:26:00.920 --> 00:26:04.440
And I'll get back to that.
I had always wanted to make a

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00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:08.920
difference. I was raised again,
like I said earlier, with parents who

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00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:17.160
really cared about their community and cared
about children and you know, really changing

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00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:21.039
lives for the better. And that's
kind of the impetus of what I went

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00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:26.319
into. I really wanted to be
what they call a public servant. And

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00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:30.799
I feel that even now, servant
leadership is the best leader that I can

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00:26:30.839 --> 00:26:36.480
possibly be, that people can possibly
be. So when I ran for Senate,

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00:26:36.519 --> 00:26:40.880
I had a fourteen month old,
I was married. I was really

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00:26:40.920 --> 00:26:48.559
really excited to be able to add
my voice. I was thirty three,

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00:26:48.759 --> 00:26:53.799
Yeah, I was about thirty three, and I was running on the same

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00:26:53.880 --> 00:26:57.240
ticket that Bill Clinton was on,
that Robert Abrams was on. It was

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00:26:57.319 --> 00:27:02.480
a very you know, sort of
heady time. You knew that there was

343
00:27:02.519 --> 00:27:07.480
going to be a switch. Um
you know, there was a switch from

344
00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:11.160
Bush, you know, to Clinton, and you know, I felt really

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00:27:11.200 --> 00:27:15.799
good about it. I also,
to be perfectly transparent, I knew I

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00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:21.880
was going to lose, but I
also I also wanted to give it a

347
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:23.559
shot. You know, I didn't
shy away from as a big risk.

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00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:30.960
You know, I really wanted to, um, you know, very cliche,

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00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:36.359
make a difference. So my platform
was public private partnerships, how businesses

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00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:40.680
could get in them and profits.
UM. That sounds familiar to me to

351
00:27:40.759 --> 00:27:47.519
this day. UM. I was
a candidate believing in a woman's choice over

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00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:52.440
her own body. UM. I
was a person who believed that early childhood

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00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:56.759
education was critical for kids. UM, not just to put lip service but

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00:27:56.920 --> 00:28:02.240
actually fund it. M So I
ran on sort of this progressive planing but

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00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:06.759
also moderate. I was running against
Joe Holland at the time. We had

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00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:10.720
a series of debates, one of
which I believe was on cable vision,

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00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:14.240
which you might be familiar with.
Yes, I think I probably produced that.

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00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.920
I have a feeling. Yes,
So that was fun. But you

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00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:22.880
know what, we again different time, right. We didn't go after each

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00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:26.440
other, we didn't call each other
names. We weren't mean. I looked

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at it as an opportunity to get
to know people in the community. And

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00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:36.000
I will tell you that Rockland,
being a five town place, it was

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00:28:36.359 --> 00:28:41.480
really really great to get to know
a large part of the community and helped

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00:28:41.480 --> 00:28:45.839
me and my dad subsequent to that, But it wasn't like they were believe

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00:28:45.880 --> 00:28:48.839
it or not drunk, you know, now that I look about it,

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00:28:48.039 --> 00:28:52.720
someone or a group of people did
go around and do a little bit of

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00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:56.440
a whisper campaign saying, did you
know Diana was a Lesbie? So I

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00:28:56.480 --> 00:29:02.240
will say that that was there,
But the picture of where I was,

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00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:06.759
I was married, I had a
baby, that it was still in the

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00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:11.079
ether, if you will. But
it didn't. It didn't dissuade me from

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00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:18.000
running. It didn't dissuade me from
keeping very focused and very driven to do

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00:29:18.039 --> 00:29:23.400
the right thing. So nothing came
up really around the issue except for that

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00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:29.559
little bit of whisper. I think
it probably hurt in certain pockets, but

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00:29:30.039 --> 00:29:34.200
you know, there was a lot
of press coverage around it, and I

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00:29:34.240 --> 00:29:37.880
got to be known in the community
of someone who really cared, and I

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00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:42.759
think that's true to this day.
It's interesting that you mentioned that because that

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00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:47.640
was going to be one of my
questions. Would it have been at all

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00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:52.000
feasible? There was so few so
called gay candidates at that time. Would

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00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:56.519
it have been in your mind at
all feasible? You can forgive the terminology

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00:29:56.839 --> 00:30:02.240
what other terms to us to be
out at that time? Would it would

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00:30:02.240 --> 00:30:07.599
it be truly realistic to be elected
as an openly gay candidate in nineteen ninety

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00:30:07.640 --> 00:30:11.359
one. I'm trying to think of
how many it might have even been been

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00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:15.559
up before the time of Harvey Milk
in San Francisco, some of the San

384
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:21.039
Francisco But was it possible here in
New York at that time? What are

385
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:26.880
you? What are your recollections,
your thoughts. I'm gonna say simply no

386
00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:32.000
way, Frank Okay, well pretty
pretty direct. There's there's just no way

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00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:36.640
we were ready to accept an openly
gay candidate here in Rockland County, and

388
00:30:36.680 --> 00:30:41.880
again to be since we stream elsewhere
where Rockland is, it's about it's a

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00:30:41.960 --> 00:30:47.759
semi affluent, somewhat suburban county,
just about twenty five miles north of midtown

390
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:51.680
Manhattan. So again, people get
a certain perspective, so you would think

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00:30:51.839 --> 00:30:56.680
relatively progressive being so close to New
York City, a very progressive city.

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00:30:56.880 --> 00:31:00.519
But no, no way, no, it's just it isn't There's no way.

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00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:04.200
That's That's as easy as I can
say it. Right, So,

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00:31:04.200 --> 00:31:07.599
so at least we've somewhat changed,
but that brings us back and again we

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00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:11.759
don't want but the time left,
we don't want to. We probably don't

396
00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:15.319
have enough time to cover all the
issues with the growing conservative movement that is

397
00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:21.720
once again suppressing the freedom that you
work so hard we, I should say,

398
00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:25.519
not just you, we work so
hard to attain that. That's got

399
00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:29.559
to be a downer. How does
that make somebody from your community feeling we've

400
00:31:29.559 --> 00:31:33.880
worked so hard to get it this
force so that it's just said nineteen ninety

401
00:31:33.880 --> 00:31:37.519
one not possible for gay candidates.
Now we have gay legislators, et cetera

402
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:41.200
everywhere, But yet there seems to
be a move to push it back.

403
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:45.319
But how's that coming from? And
how does that feel? I mean,

404
00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:49.079
I think that's just it's it's the
power structure. It's you know, systemic

405
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:53.720
homophobia, systemic racism. I mean, you know, people don't want to

406
00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:59.519
teach history now you know the real
history of what's gone on. I mean

407
00:32:00.279 --> 00:32:06.400
LGBTQ community has a vibrant and large
history that we never learned in the history

408
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:10.720
books, you know, and now
it's you know, it's becoming not okay.

409
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:16.400
But again, it's it's a power
structure that's endemic. And I would

410
00:32:16.440 --> 00:32:23.279
say it's fear because it's this and
I'm gonna analogize it to something that happened

411
00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:28.160
to me when I first started working
at Juannia, Um, you know,

412
00:32:28.279 --> 00:32:31.839
and on the show today this is
you know, Diana has the person who

413
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:35.880
lives in the city in New York. It's not Juanio. But I do

414
00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:40.920
want to give an example of what
happened to a friend who I was walking

415
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:45.920
around with at the mall. And
he is a wonderful guy, um,

416
00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:51.599
you know, he's very artistic and
creative and he's funny. And we were

417
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:58.759
walking around the mall and just talking
and a young man about I'm going to

418
00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:05.119
say like ten or eleven came up
to us and he asked Tony about his

419
00:33:05.160 --> 00:33:07.200
wheelchair. You know, you're in
that wheelchair. Can you get up now?

420
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:14.200
I can't get up. And he
has cerebral palsy, so his affect,

421
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:15.640
you know, is different, and
he couldn't speak, you know,

422
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:20.359
too clearly. But I said,
you know, ask him anything, you

423
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:24.960
know, he's don't be afraid.
The father came along, took the son's

424
00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:30.119
arm and said, you know,
come on, get away from him.

425
00:33:30.200 --> 00:33:36.759
You could catch it. Mind blowing
mind blowing at the time. I mean,

426
00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:42.240
how insensitive, how hurtful, how
crushed that Tony must have felt.

427
00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:45.880
And you know, I was just
empathized. I was like, I can't

428
00:33:45.920 --> 00:33:49.680
imagine that pain. But at the
same time, I've experienced it myself.

429
00:33:50.119 --> 00:33:52.799
Right, you can catch it,
right. People used to say you can

430
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:58.640
catch it. It's going to happen
to you, right. So I think

431
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:02.319
it's the it's the fear, it's
the lack of understanding. It's the stay

432
00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:07.039
in a room with me for five
minutes. You know, it's like I

433
00:34:07.079 --> 00:34:12.119
didn't you know, you can say
to someone, you know, I didn't

434
00:34:12.199 --> 00:34:15.800
know you were a Mets fan,
and if you're a Yankees fan, right,

435
00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:17.320
and we can talk about it.
I don't have to, you know,

436
00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:21.039
go after you and thing, I'll
never talk to you again. You're

437
00:34:21.079 --> 00:34:24.559
just you have a different, you
know, feeling about something. It's the

438
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:30.719
same thing sexuality, you know,
race, colored gender, all of these

439
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:35.599
things, sports teams, you know, whoever you like tonight, Celtics or

440
00:34:36.079 --> 00:34:38.880
you know, I'm sorry, the
Heat or Denver, yes, right,

441
00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:43.840
sorry, sorry about that. Yeah, I'm not worried about the Celtics.

442
00:34:43.880 --> 00:34:49.679
I was already depressed about the Knicks
and all the new York, all the

443
00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:52.679
New York teams, right that we
know and love. But but what I

444
00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:54.159
was going to say was, you
know, that's the thing. The thing

445
00:34:54.320 --> 00:35:00.000
that is horrific now is not only
the lack of understand of our history,

446
00:35:00.360 --> 00:35:12.239
the lack of understanding of interpersonal communication
is that you can immediately be labeled in

447
00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:16.280
an instant, and then that instant
turns viral, and then that viral terms

448
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:22.599
somebody on the internet or streaming or
go back to the beginning of this conversation,

449
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:27.719
and there's a teenager where there's a
young person who has been labeled or

450
00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:36.039
judged or bullied and now contemplates suicide. Right, So this is what's happening

451
00:35:36.199 --> 00:35:43.960
even higher amounts in the get in
the edge community, and what's happening in

452
00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:49.880
the transgender community is a whole other
subject, you know, a whole another

453
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:53.000
time. But the issue now is
just I really the bottom line here for

454
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:58.760
me is just live your life,
you know, and try and find what's

455
00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:05.719
the most meaningful for all asphalts.
You know, Diane, I promised to

456
00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:09.639
give you an opportunity. You're a
mother and now a grandmother, and you

457
00:36:09.840 --> 00:36:15.559
want to give you opportunity to brag
a little bit about your family and also

458
00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:19.440
within mind, you know, with
two moms and yet your daughters are living

459
00:36:19.519 --> 00:36:25.119
their reality their lives again showing that
it's not contacious. I guess the point

460
00:36:25.159 --> 00:36:29.039
as you were saying, it doesn't
love well. If it's not contains,

461
00:36:29.079 --> 00:36:32.719
good parenting is good parenting period.
But please do tell us a little bit

462
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:36.840
about your family. I think it's
important. I know. Oh please,

463
00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:39.719
Frank, Why would you make me
do that? Yeah? Twist here people,

464
00:36:40.440 --> 00:36:44.440
we're not visual anymore, but if
they can see you, I'm twisting

465
00:36:44.599 --> 00:36:50.800
your arm behind your back. Oh
no, I listen. I am blessed.

466
00:36:51.800 --> 00:36:57.719
Emily and I are blessed. We
have two incredible young women, Carly

467
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:02.400
and Rebecca, who have two beautiful
well partners, Ryan and Nick Um my

468
00:37:02.519 --> 00:37:08.960
older daughter. Um and her husband
Ryan have a beautiful grandson named sever which

469
00:37:09.039 --> 00:37:17.280
yes he is named for Tom Stever
somebody, somebody. It was so great

470
00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:22.880
meeting Ryan's parents. It was the
most amazing thing because Emily is totally not

471
00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:28.199
sports person, you know, and
I always joke with her. I was

472
00:37:28.280 --> 00:37:31.480
like, wait a minute, you
are an insult to lesbians everywhere. How

473
00:37:31.519 --> 00:37:36.639
do you not like sports? Like? I don't understand this while his parents

474
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:40.000
big Mets fans, me Mets fans, and then when they told us what

475
00:37:40.119 --> 00:37:45.119
his name was, just was flipping. So that was great. So that

476
00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:50.519
they're they're great. And my daughter
Rebecca and her soon to be husband Nick

477
00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:52.920
next year they live in the city
and they're doing great too. So,

478
00:37:53.199 --> 00:37:58.159
um, you know, they made
it through. It was tough for them.

479
00:37:57.840 --> 00:38:01.840
Um. When I when Emily and
I became, you know, a

480
00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:07.920
committed couple, Carly was in middle
school and middle school is tough enough,

481
00:38:07.599 --> 00:38:14.639
and Rebecca was three years younger then
in elementary school, and that was a

482
00:38:14.679 --> 00:38:17.559
really hard thing, you know.
But then it was love as love is

483
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:23.480
love, and I'll never forget that. Rebecca was actually mad that Carly knew

484
00:38:23.519 --> 00:38:31.280
first. Great a good time if
I too, if I might be able

485
00:38:31.320 --> 00:38:38.039
to relate to a story with my
girlfriend's son and her sister as an artist

486
00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:43.599
and was burying her partner, et
cetera. And I asked her son at

487
00:38:43.639 --> 00:38:45.599
the time, I think it was
eight or nine something about that old,

488
00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:50.000
and I said, how did you
break it to him, you know,

489
00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:52.480
et cetera. Did you try to
explain to him to women coming together?

490
00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:55.360
And he said, didn't care at
all. He wanted to know whether he

491
00:38:55.360 --> 00:39:01.679
could ride in a limo or not. So there, I don't care about

492
00:39:01.719 --> 00:39:04.519
that. Don't matter me at all. Can I get do I get the

493
00:39:04.679 --> 00:39:08.719
right in a limo? So generation
is just like that, you know,

494
00:39:08.840 --> 00:39:14.000
so what who cares? Right?
Yeah? I hope we can get to

495
00:39:14.039 --> 00:39:17.159
that point with conversations that we just
had with you, Diana. I so

496
00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:22.719
appreciate your honesty, your camera,
your candor, and your sense of humor.

497
00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:25.039
It's always great, you know,
and I think that's important. Things

498
00:39:25.079 --> 00:39:29.320
get so intense, you know,
if you use the wrong word, it's

499
00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:31.719
all in the intention. If your
intention is good, not to wound.

500
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:37.440
Your intention is to understand, even
if you make mistakes. I want to

501
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:40.000
let people know it's okay to keep
an open mind and an open heart.

502
00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:45.079
You'll be okay. You'll screw up. Even I screw up. I don't

503
00:39:45.079 --> 00:39:47.320
admit it regularly on the air,
but yeah, even I do. But

504
00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:51.119
you know what this is. And
not to blow smoke back at you,

505
00:39:51.559 --> 00:39:58.039
but these kinds of local conversations are
so needed at this point. And you

506
00:39:58.039 --> 00:40:00.280
know, you can have these big
influence insert stuff and all of that,

507
00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:04.320
but it's you know, these are
my neighbors. These are my friends.

508
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:07.079
These are you know, these are
this is the community that we've chosen to

509
00:40:07.159 --> 00:40:12.239
live in. And you know,
for you to offer this and shout out

510
00:40:12.280 --> 00:40:15.559
to Neil on the back end of
the operation, I think, I think

511
00:40:15.599 --> 00:40:20.880
it's wonderful and I hope that you
know, I'll share it everywhere that I

512
00:40:21.159 --> 00:40:23.599
just hope that more people come on
and realize you know how much you care

513
00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:25.719
about what you're doing as well.
Thank you, Tana. That means an

514
00:40:25.719 --> 00:40:30.079
awful lot to me. This was
a great, meaningful, intelligent conversation.

515
00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:34.840
Not just to catchphrase, it's a
real one. So thank you very much.

516
00:40:34.920 --> 00:40:37.800
And of course we always thank Neil
Richter the mail man. He's our

517
00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:42.760
engineer, he's drives the bus for
us. Of course, special thanks to

518
00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:45.400
our listeners who take the time to
give us a voice in their lives.

519
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:51.480
Remember we offer a fresh topic every
week and you can catch us wherever and

520
00:40:51.559 --> 00:40:57.559
whenever you get your favorite podcasts like
Apple, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Speaker and

521
00:40:57.719 --> 00:41:01.239
more. Remember you can also check
us out on Hudson River Radio Facebook page.

522
00:41:01.679 --> 00:41:06.360
Like us and leave a comment too. We also ask that you consider

523
00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:08.960
sharing being frank with others. You
know. At the end of every show

524
00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:12.800
i'd like to leave you. I
call a couple of nuggets, and one's

525
00:41:12.800 --> 00:41:15.559
a slogan. You'll never guess who
this comes from. Never in a million

526
00:41:15.639 --> 00:41:21.400
years, I didn't I do a
little research and think what might be appropriate

527
00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:22.880
way to hear this one, and
you'll never believe who it came from.

528
00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:28.840
Truth is like the sun. You
can shut it out for a time,

529
00:41:29.400 --> 00:41:35.559
but it ain't going away. That's
from Elvis Presley. So everybody, let

530
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:39.320
the sunshine know your truth. Okay. Now we've got some music for you

531
00:41:39.440 --> 00:41:44.880
from two of my favorite people,
David Fry and Michelle Solomon. Collectively they're

532
00:41:44.920 --> 00:41:49.119
called Mystery Mouse. Here's a little
two minute sampling of their music. They're

533
00:41:49.199 --> 00:41:52.159
terrific. I'm your host, Frank
Labono. This has been being Frank.

534
00:41:52.199 --> 00:41:57.159
We're the only way to be is
Frank. Please join us next week for

535
00:41:57.239 --> 00:42:31.280
another episode of the Intelligent Conversation Podcast. Thank you, Listen you sweet.

536
00:42:43.199 --> 00:42:58.880
It comes to PU push comes to
ship comes come, don't don't have in

537
00:43:02.719 --> 00:43:08.800
turn around, take it five.
You see why it is so you need

538
00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:17.000
your need on the lone people,
Lavendry on the Beach out and Savendry.

539
00:43:35.039 --> 00:43:37.360
This is Hudson River Radio dot com