Comedy Central Podcast. Thanks to Ja. What to do is go, come
on, how are you? Well, I' ve already been introduced,
but I' m going to repeat it, because this always requires it to
be repeated. My name is Asari Vivan to Sari live and I don'
t know what happens to people who always think that African names have meaning as
well as super mystic. You know, like, I' ll roast the
one that awaits the ancestors under a thousand- year- old bao bab.
Who cracks you. I' m little together and I swear. I always
have to spell it. Barcelona, Italy, Barcelona, alicante. I don
' t play the trivia, that is, I really imagine the past at
poor Arno Swatzenegger' s school. You know was black esch wey is that
last name has a double v. In the last name there are no cities
to spell that surname for God' s sake or that man. They fucked
him so much at school that he came back from the future to kill everyone.
Four times four. I' ve received poofs with the name so badly
written that I could think that my husband had a lover register in my house
because I uh, dude, I don' t know there was a good
guy around here that I' ve heard it before. I was super jealous,
but from you, I' d be super jealous of you, but
uh, but not jealous of it. It' s only if it gives
me reason and no reason. I' m also a bad fool. No
reason. I also tell my boy what you' re looking at. I
don' t say look too much at nothing. Not like that, since
you will. I' m jealous for now and jealousy and nothing, because
really, between work and home children. My husband tells me there' s
someone else and I tell him perfect when he starts. When it starts,
I' m exhausted. There are really nights when I doubt a tra making
love and playing dead. Dude, I' m not really being tricked or
fucked up. They' re cheating on you. You' re fooled,
because no one tells you that there' s a time in your life when
putting romantics is making them out of socks. Nobody really tells you this.
Marta' s name is my best friend. Marta is white, but if
you think she' s black because once she wore gray braids we' ll
talk about that other day, Marta' s name is her grandmother, her
name was Marta her mother, her name was Marta her daughter, her name
is Stevariz. No one understands. No one understands it because it' s
called Stevalit the girl. The point is, he kills. Mira Yo said,
before I have Stevanit, I' m going to Kenya. Yeah,
Kenya' s gone, Marta. He came back from Kenya saying he wanted
to go back to Africa and set up a school. I mean Marta,
a school. No, no, you' re done winning, you'
re going to end it in Kenya, which is also in another language.
Seriously. Bata, seriously. Mata, don' t give me that.
Please, she can' t keep secrets, Marta, she can' t
keep secrets. You, Marta, tell her a secret and keep it on
the desk, in a folder she puts on believe. Indeed. Yes,
but it does a good thing. Marta introduced me to the fact that she
' s my husband today. We met at the library, a nightclub is
here near his house and there we were. Marta and I are getting close
to the kid, introducing him to me and telling me how I say nothing
here in a whore and back, one is already an age, it is
no longer unsettled. You know he doesn' t use a wave god around
here on a whore and back, he presents it to me. I loved
the gorgeous kid. One year he had me all without throwing out a Kiki
miser that I said and this Friki colleague. A year the good guy can
do it to you. One year he had me look at some pants and
he' d run me friend. One year I had to tell my friend
Mata I say thunderbolt, but there' s what I did to ask for
your hand, I say what they want my hand for and if they already
have two and it' s not used for anything, until one day I
told myself I' m going to take you to the mountain and you'
ll see the stars, I say and fuck ay fo and then I didn
' t really mean to look at the fucking oterations. You can believe the
big bear, he wears the little one. He tells me you see the
car I say yes, parked there, we go and then we fall for
love. I introduced him to my parents because I' m like this,
because I tell myself well afterwards so we' re going to cheat and we
' re here. If we went on our honeymoon to New York, I
don' t know if you' ve been, uh, because it has
a particularity of this, from New York, not to the United States.
Not that you say America, because they call it that if from New York
to Los Angeles, there, if you can just call it. We'
re going to fuck up, for example, and from New York to Beverly
His God. What luxury, what cars, what casmadre mine, what do
you do to people, how beautiful, what shops? That' s where
you realize you' re a bitch. Poor slut, poor thing, I
mean, you see the labels on the clothes and you think the prices are
real barcodes, so you don' t have to scan twice to believe what
it says and you see that I before going into the store and I already
told my husband love this store is expensive, it tells me how you know
I say because there' s no easy music, well no fucking. Caso
made me and drinking and we went to Vegas. If you have photophobia,
don' t go. They have posters of these bright ones everywhere they put
us in a posters these bright ones. Even inside the room I put huge
well com, changed color and everything I put in front of, took off
my clothes and felt like a stripper you know wonderful. Wonderful, for I
and my young man came the vega, I come up and eat a mushroom.
Hey and you don' t know what it' s like to get
out of that hotel with that balloon and see the infe tower is all freedom
and the ejito pyramid on the same street. How' s this going to
go up, you know, but it' s not like the vegas is
being horter. Of course, the problem is that then it gives you the
downfall and it' s a brown that art in white being black by a
yellow. I don' t recommend it, I don' t recommend it,
and fuck the move is that you get it there in America and this
rock has a problem until it already has problems. Now Hollywood, read for
painting it all black. They say we fix the racial problem we have in
the country and said Steve Steven Spielberg would ask me all about money. And
now Hollywood has come up with seven o' clock waxes, secret agent being
woman and black. How that' s gonna be secret. So hung up
they want Michael b Jordan, a black actor, now to play Superman.
Who does Superman and people so super- involved how he' s going to
play Supermann, black actor. How and there were a lot of comments on
the Internet, but one that I loved said Michael Bey Jordan can' t
be Superman, because Superman is from the planet Clipton and in Cripton there are
no blacks. What a bitch. Disgrace, how can you write that comment.
The same thing happened with the little mermaid. I don' t know
if you saw the controversy. The little mermaid isn' t that the sireni
can' t be black, because it destroys the memories of my childhood I
mean, not black, but half your mana, half your bass all,
ohk no hello wave and with hermion the same also black. I say a
little something. Hey, I understand the intent you have in Hollywood, but
I don' t really see it. So now they' re coming to
take all the superheroes and turn them into blacks, so I' m worried
about what they' re gonna do when they get to Black Pantter. An
experience of the United States is really going up very well about the honeymoon and
we didn' t come back and already, we did tell them come,
because since we are opposed, we put ourselves on. We arrived in Spain
and I got pregnant and I tried. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twenty
- five kilos I took eh tes of gestation, five of fluid retention and
the rest of maffinche eggs with charizo. I got up my ass, Friends,
up my ass? Did I put myself on? Up to the ass?
And I don' t know what happens to the kinzan that you suddenly
have a son and they start calling you things like a thousand you know a
thousand non- mother I' d fuck, I mean, I think it
' s super ugly that I have to think about it. I don'
t understand young people. The other day I was coming out of a bowling
alley, uh, and in a bowling alley where I talked about Nelson Mandela
and when I left, I got a thousand years away and he says sorry.
I say what you say. They want Nelson Mandela, I mean what
I did to label him for, but since I' m this nice.
I mean, look. Nelson Mandela was a South African activist who spent twenty
- five years in jail just for being black and came out Black is the
worst case of reintegration in history. Okay, he didn' t reinsert,
but he had a lot of courage. The 27- year- old guy
unjustly imprisoned and came out with a message of peace. You watch big brother
come out for three months of shit, because I' m out of the
bowling alley. I get home and I get an instagram message that puts Sari
Vivan. It has been tagged in a post to Sari Vivan and Nelson Mandela
I said thank you. Chickens You' re after