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This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're
listening to kf I AM six forty,

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the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio app. Welcome did the

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Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf I
AM six forty. We're live everywhere on

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the iHeartRadio app. It is Sunday, it is seven pm. Let's think

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about our love lives, Let's think
about our mental health. If you are

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new to my show, I have
a PhD in clinical psychology. I'm not

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a therapist, though, I'm a
psychology professor at California State University, Channel

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Islands Go Dolphins. I know,
students, We're in the home run,

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aren't we. Some of my students
listen, they do. Yes, we

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are in the home stretch of the
semester. I think we've got a couple

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weeks left in the semester, so
you guys should be working on your final

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term papers, your projects, getting
ready for your final exams. I used

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to hate this time of year when
I was a student, and you know

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why, because human beings never do
anything unless two things happen. We need

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a reward and we need a deadline. Honestly, even though all the research

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shows that students who do a little
bit of homework every day actually do better

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on exams than the ones that cram
the night before. I know because I

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read your term papers that when you
pull the all nighter and write the term

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paper, it is not as good
as one that you spend a lot of

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time on right, and that applies
to everything in our lives. Humans don't

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do anything unless they get paid for
it, get some reward. I teach

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in my health psychology class that we
need to structure reward systems into our day.

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I mean literally, give yourself a
treat. Treat yourself. Treat yourself

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the next time you want to do
something that you don't want to do.

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But I digress. We are going
to talk a lot on this show today

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about age and about stage of life. I also want to talk about your

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friends, because there are different times
in your life that their certain relationships are

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very important and you need them.
But you know what, you don't have

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to keep them all for the long
haul. Sometimes it's time to end,

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yeah, end a relationship that might
be a romantic relationship but also just a

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friendship. I'm also going to talk
about the five kinds of friends we all

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need yeah, we're talking about friends. We're going to talk about age.

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You know why I'm talking about age
today. Okay, I'll admit it.

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It's my birthday. It's my birthday
today. Happy birthday. Thank you for

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Dusa kay La? Is my birthday? All right? Here's the thing.

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I am going to be celebrating with
friends later. But I learned something about

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birthdays. I teach developmental psychology.
Did you know up until about the age

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of well, I don't even have
to tell you this. You know this

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late thirties or so, when you
have a birthday, it's a celebration,

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it's a culmination, it's an accomplishment. You got through another year. It's

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exciting. You added to your store
of wisdom and life experience. It's fabulous.

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And then through the forties birthdays are
kind of whole hum and then in

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the fifties, birthdays become something else. They become a countdown to launch.

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Yeah, there's actually research to show
that after the age of fifty, people

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stop counting the years they've lived and
start to count the years they have left.

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Of course, nobody knows how many
years they have left, but people

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do try to think. That's why
bucket lists become so important. That's why

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I look at older people. I'm
like, huh, wonder how old they

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are. I wonder if they think
about how many years that are left to

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them. I do want to say
that my birthday April thirtieth, for some

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reason, even though the research says
that spring is the time when our neurotransmitters

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explode, just like the baby birds
coming out of their shells and the buds

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coming out of plants, that we
actually feel I don't know it rejuvenated.

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It's like a new birth, and
I have my birthday during the season of

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the new birth. But for some
reason, I always go through a funk.

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Now, I know it's not about
what many women. The pressure that

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women deal with, right, so
when women leave their reproductive years, sometimes

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society makes them feel a little bit
irrelevant. It's not that for me because

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I like myself. I like myself
with makeup, without makeup. I like

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that my face is aging gracefully.
I don't want any plastic, botox,

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nothing injections, cellulose pulled back,
nothing, nothing happening. I want to

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put some soap and water on my
face and some moisturizer in the morning.

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That's all I do. Folks and
have a lot of wonderful laugh lines on

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my face so that people can see
I lived and am living a rich,

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happy life. So it's not stress
about that, but there is I think,

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Okay, I'm analyzing whether you've eyes
okay, because from my friends and

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I like to analyze together. But
this came up recently with my boyfriend Julio

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because we're entering third year and we're
doing our third year. So therefore,

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the third birthday that I have planned
for myself and organized, didn't expect him

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to pay for, show up,
do anything. And I always said,

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well, you know, I don't
want to put pressure on you. You

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might be working and doing things.
Look, one year, I had thirteen

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girlfriends over for dinner. I cooked
a four course meal and even baked my

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own birthday cake. Now, if
you are a therapist, if you are

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a therapist and you're listening, I
know what you're thinking right now. You've

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already analyzed this. Oh, she
has dependency issues. You know what that

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means is it means that I can't
I feel like I can't depend on others

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to celebrate me. And so this
year Julio brought it up. He goes,

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you've done it again. You organized
a dinner with all your friends.

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I go, I invite a you
and I don't expect you to pay.

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And he's like, that's not the
point. You didn't just really acts and

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see if I would do something for
you. I was like, Oh,

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there it rears its head again.
Dependency issues. Afraid, afraid to depend

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on others to celebrate me. That's
why people like me don't like surprises or

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surprise parties. That's why people like
me like to control everything because it reduces

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anxiety. So here I am doing
it again. But at least now I

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know what it's about and I can
explore it right anyway. I will say

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that this year, my pre birthday
depression was much less than normal. Did

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you notice that, Caleb about me? I've been happy last few weeks.

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You've been an excellent and last year
I was in a serious funk, like

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a lot of things were getting me
down. Yeah, but right now,

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for some reason, a lot of
new beginnings happened to me around the beginning

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of May, and you know,
psychologically, that was when my brain came

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out of my mom and it's a
fresh start when we come back. Did

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you know there's been research on birthdays. I'm not talking about astrology here.

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I'm talking about research that correlates the
month of your birth and various mental health

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disorders that you have a higher chance
of getting. Uh huh. Basically,

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you don't want to be born in
January. No, no, no,

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I'm not saying that. Look,
let's talk about all the months when we

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come back. You are listening to
the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM

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six forty. We're live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor

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Wendy Walsh on demand from kf I
AM six forty. Welcome back to the

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Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM
six forty. I'm a birthday. It's

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my birthday. I'm gonna just keep
singing, Happy Birthday to me, Happy

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Birthday to me. We're live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. If you're new

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to my show. I've got a
PhD in clinical psychology, but I'm a

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wee tad obsessed with the science of
love. I've written three books on relationships.

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I did a dissertation on attachment,
and I just can't stop reading about

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the biological, the psychological, and
the sociological pieces of love. In fact,

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in class this week, one of
the students said, doctor, Wells,

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I know this is off topic,
but you might know the answer.

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Can xes be friends? Interesting question? And I said, depends on the

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xes, and it depends what the
relationship it was like, and it depends

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what the breakup was like, and
it depends if one or both of them

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have found other partners. It depends
if they're trying to keep that one there

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as a backup mate. Uh huh, lots, it depends there. I

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would say this, if two people
have an avoidant attachment style, no threat

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of intimacy there, then they're going
to easily become friends afterwards because there was

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also no passion to ignite things.
If you had somebody who had an anxious

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attachment style and the other person was
avoidant, and they were constantly trying to

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draw out the avoidant person, then
they're going to be triggered running into their

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X later. Also, if you
have a relationship where one person found love

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soon after and the others still single, you're gonna have some problems being friends.

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I do say that since a relationship
is very much part of our identity,

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and I don't mean just our social
identity. I mean like a part

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of us. You know, when
you're in a close intimate relationship, somebody

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else does half the mental work for
you. They help problem solve for you.

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They literally do half of the physical
tasks if you're living together and sharing

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domestic responsibilities. And then when they're
not there, you feel like half a

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person, and it's up to you
to spend the time growing the neurotransmitters,

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growing the part of your brain and
yourself to become a complete person again so

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that you can meet the next person. Right. So, I think people

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need to be This is just my
opinion. I just think people need to

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be broken up at least a year
before they can be friends. Otherwise there's

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too much baggage, stuff can be
triggered. You could be keeping them as

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a backup mate in case single life
doesn't work out, you know, So

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do a year, get a new
mate, then talk about getting together for

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something. That's my opinion, But
I digress. I was talking about birthdays.

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I don't know how I got there. That's what I do. That's

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how my mind works all day long. It's a train just rolling around and

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the tracks cross. Sometimes. My
boyfriend Julio thinks it's hysterical. We go

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for long walks and hikes and he's
like, I don't have to say a

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thing for a whole hour. We
just march and march and he said,

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you're so entertaining. He says,
all right, birthdays. Do you believe

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in horse goats? Do you believe
in astrology? Kayla? Do you to

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an extent? Yeah? But not
like hardcore? Okay, So, like

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what astrological sign are you? I'm
a Pisces. I don't know what that

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is? The fish, right,
Yeah, I know I'm supposed to be

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a Taurus, with means that I'm
bullheaded and all that and stubborn. Yeah.

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No, I'm the most open,
flexible. Give me more information.

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I'll change my mind. As I'm
getting older, I'm getting a little stronger

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with my boundaries, but I sure
wasn't for most of my life. So

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anyway, this confirms what the science
says. Astrology is nuts. So it's

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bogus. It means nothing. Stop
it if you believe in it. You

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know, one of the things I
do with my class is I do this

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funny thing where I put up a
slide that shows the names of the horoscope

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and the description of them, and
I asked them to look at it,

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find their astrological sign and tell me
do you think that really reflects you?

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And most of them like, yo, yeah, that is me. And

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then the next slide flips the cards
around and shows what the real name of

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that astrological sign is that goes with
which definition they're scrambled. So the point

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is all astrology is vague, and
it's meant for you to project your stuff

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onto it. If you read somebody's
astrological forecast, it is so open and

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so vague, you could read any
of them and go, oh, yeah,

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that's me. I think that's happening. Mercury is retrograde. I know

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that's a problem for my sign,
and if you read them all, it's

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a problem for all the signs.
PA I don't know, So I'm sorry

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to burst your bubble. You can
send me all your mean emails with your

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anecdotal evidence. It's not science and
it's not data. But here's some other

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data. Did you know the month
you were born can actually predict if you

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might get a mental illness? I
know this was hard for me to get

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around too. I'm like, what
is the correlation here? And how could

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this be? Okay? So One
study out of Queen Mary University in London

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back in two twelve looked at your
risks of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and major

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depression, and they found that they
looked at more than twenty nine million people.

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This isn't a study of twenty people
or a thousand people, twenty nine

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million because they could pull it from
England's general population. And they found that

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of these twenty nine million people,
fifty eight thousand had been diagnosed with one

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of these three conditions. So they
took the fifty eight thousand. They looked

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at their month of birth, because
you know your birthdate's in there with your

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medical files. Right, You're ready, sit down, Okay, winter babies.

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Winter babies were at the greatest risk
for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. January

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the worst month, the worst month
for both of these disorders, the more

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likely. Spring babies appear to have
the greatest risk for depression. Oh my

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goodness, producer, Kayla, we've
figured out my spring depression leading up to

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my birthday. Wow, I'm born
on April thirtieth. I get in a

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funk. There you go. Okay, here's another one. According to the

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National Alliance on Mental illness. That's
an American group ninety percent of people who

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take their own lives. When I
say take your own life, this is

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the most important definition. I want
everyone to understand. We never use the

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term commit suicide anymore. It sounds
like committing murder. It is not a

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character flaw, a moral flaw.
It is a symptom of mental distress.

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It is a symptom of mental illness. Okay, So there are two studies

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examine that looked at birth month and
likelihood of one taking their own lives.

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Kayla, you're ready the months or
April at May. Okay, So I

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just get in a pre birthday funk. I'm not gonna do anything about it.

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Maybe drink a little wine. I
don't know. Yeah, I think

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that's probably the best answer to drowned
my sorrows. Here you go. Okay,

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So now I know you're thinking,
well, what does this mean and

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why there is a reason, not
just correlational, not just data, why

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scientists think baby's born in these months
have this predisposition. I'll explain when we

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come back. You're listening to the
Doctor Wendy Walls Show on kf I am

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six forty. We're live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor

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Wendy Walsh on demand from kf I
AM six forty Welcome back to the Doctor

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Wendy Walls Show on kf I AM
six forty eight Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio

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App. Okay, I was talking
about why certain birth months are highly correlated

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with either mental illness or the propensity
to unfortunately take one's life. Yeah,

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they're actually there's data on this.
There's data on everything. Well, I

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gotta say, scientists really aren't sure
why some birth months are linked to these

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greater incidents of say, mental health
disorders. But there is a possibility that

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our birth month actually influences our biological
clock. So one study found that mice

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who were born in the winter actually
had trouble in the summer, didn't adapt

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well to the light cycle, They
had an inability to regulate their biological clock.

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This was linked to mood and stress. Do you know how they tell

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mice are in a bad mood?
Apparently they don't want to do those mazes.

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I don't know, they don't want
to mate. They have all kinds

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of mice behaviors. They look at
right, Remember a few weeks ago,

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Kayle. We had that producer,
the researcher on and it was a study

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on potential for male birth control and
her all day long, her job is

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to look at mice's bums to see
if they had fun leather before with their

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honey interest in job. For sure, I have a very different job during

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the day, although when I have
the mother of babies and toddlers, I

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looked at a lot of bums all
day and clean them at his part of

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that. So research or speculate that
if you have difficulty with your sarcadian rhythms

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and dealing with your biological rhythms,
this can also increase mental health disorders.

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Another speculation only is that vitamin D
could be a problem. Vitamin vitamin D

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is produced when our bodies are exposed
to sunlight. Many people actually aren't aware

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that vitamin D can weaken your bones, cause rickets can also affect your nervous

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systems. Lower levels of vitamin D
can impact the developing brain. And there

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you go. So maybe the mom
didn't take enough. Stop blaming mothers,

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Stop blaming mothers. I'm just saying. Research is saying. One study out

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of Denmark says that people born with
the lowest levels of vitamin D when they

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were born are more likely than others
to develop schizophrenia later in life. Also,

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scientists blame infections. During the winter, a pregnant mother actually might get

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more flu bugs and this could influence
the development of a baby. Wow,

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it's so interesting, we think,
you know, this makes so much more

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sense than astrology. What the planet's
lining up the magnetic pole of the moon.

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I don't know. That doesn't mean
anything anyway. Don't panic folks.

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Just because something is correlational, it
doesn't mean it's absolute, doesn't mean it's

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guaranteed to happen. And even if
you have a genetic predisposition to anything,

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you can make lifestyle changes to make
sure that doesn't happen. Right. One

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of the things that's really good for
our mental health, and there's lots of

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research to support this, and it's
also good for our physical health is social

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support, friends, friendship, and
I want to explain the five kinds of

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friendships that everybody needs in their life
to have the most full, most happy,

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healthiest life. A lot of people
have this idea that a friend is

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a friend of his friender's friend,
and they have this idea in their head

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like, these are the rules for
friends, and this person is not my

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friend if they don't do this,
if they don't think this way, they're

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not my friend. Well, actually, there are lots of different levels and

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kinds of friendships, and you need
them all. Let's start at the beginning.

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The first kind of friendship everybody needs
is a historical friend. Kayla,

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do you have a friend from your
childhood at all? I do. How

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early in life did you meet my
best friend? Her name is Kayla too.

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We've been friends since we were thirteen. Yeah. In fact, the

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research says adolescence is the time that
you tend to form the longest bonds for

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lifelong friends because you going through puberty
and real personal stuff to talk about with

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each other, and you form a
real intimate bond. So usually friends from

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adolescents become our historical friends. Now
here's the thing. They might not fit

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in with your life. Now,
some of my historical friends when they come

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to visit me in my crazy La
life, and they're from a small town

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in Canada, you know, socioeconomically, fashion wise, whatever, they may

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not fit in, but doesn't matter
because when we get together, I am

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reminded of what it was like in
eighth grade. My brain goes right back

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to me. I'm reminded of who
I am, who I was, how

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I began, and getting together late
at night over a cup of tea is

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when we do the work of historical
friendships all right, So we don't see

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them very often, but when we
get on the phone with them, it's

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like where no time has passed,
We're back to that time again. We

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also have stage of life friends.
These are friends that may not be lifelong

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friends, but in our lives they
really supported us during a particular stage where

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we needed the social support. For
instance, friends everybody's got one or two

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friends they remember from college. They're
college buddies, right Or maybe new parent

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life, whether you're a new dad
who took your kid to baby swimming class

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and you met other dads there,
or mom's there. If you're a mom

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that took your kid to baby music
or baby yoga and you realized you needed

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friends in the trenches who were going
through the same thing at the same time.

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I recently was at a Starbucks up
in Malibu at Trancas Canyon, and

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it was early in the morning,
and I ran into one of my stage

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of life friends, her son and
I met in a baby playgroup and we

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stayed friends until the kids went different
directions, probably till they were eight or

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nine or something. And when I
saw her it was like just seeing a

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long lass. Oh my god,
how are you? And it was a

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big hug and a kiss, and
we were so happy because we were so

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vital to each other during those years. Now, it doesn't mean that she's

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going to be my lifelong friend.
It doesn't mean she's going to be the

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most intimate friend. We have boundaries, of course, but it does mean

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that we have a connection because we
have this share experience together. Now in

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your life today, you've also got
a couple kinds of friends that are important

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to your mental health and your physical
health. One I call the common interest

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friends. These are your friends from
your garden club, your bridge club,

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your pilates class, the one you
know from the gym. You might even

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not have their phone number, but
you're going to run into them at that

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same place you go to together.
Right. So these friends, you have

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a lot of boundaries with them.
You're not disclosing a ton of personal stuff,

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but you really enjoy their company because
what you share is this common interest.

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Whether your interest is going to classic
car shows together. Whether it's going

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to me. I like to go
to botanical gardens and walk them. It

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really makes me happy, whether it's
going your hiking friends whatever. Although a

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lot of intimate information is often exchanged
on those hikes, because when I'm hiking

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alone and I hear you ladies talking, I cannot believe what you're saying out

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loud for the entire hiking trail to
hear. Oh my goodness, it is

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down and dirty, ladies. The
funniest thing is who lu and I were

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hiking a few weeks ago. I
can't remember where. We were, to

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mescal or somewhere and will Rogers,
they grew up in will Rogers, and

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a group of women came from the
other direction towards us, and we could

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hear them complaining about their husbands,
and it was so funny, and we

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just got past them and I gave
Julio a little wink in a smile.

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I'm like, yeah, that's what
women do. And then like thirty seconds

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later there come their husbands and coming
along behind them. They were talking about

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golf. But anyway, so that's
what women do on those hikes. So

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not every common interest friend, though, has to be an intimate friend.

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Then we get to a friend that
you might think might be completely superficial but

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really important to our mental health and
our physical health. And that friend is

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actually, according to science, the
most important friend that we need in our

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life right now. And when we
come back, I will tell you what

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that friend is. You're listening to
the Doctor Eddie Welsh Show and kf I

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00:22:55.839 --> 00:23:00.559
Am six forty. We are live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening

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to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from
kf I Am six forty. Welcome back

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00:23:04.759 --> 00:23:08.000
to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show and
kf I Am six forty. We're live

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everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. Want
to remind you you can follow me on

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my social media everywhere. The handle
is at doctor Wendy Walsh at dr Wendy

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Walsh. Mostly I'm on Instagram and
TikTok and YouTube. I also have a

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00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:26.160
really fun Patreon group. We meet
every Wednesday at six thirty. Go to

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00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:30.799
patreon dot com slash doctor Wendy Walsh. And it's not therapy. I'm not

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a therapist. We just talked about
the science of love. I usually present

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some research study that I've just read
and heard about, and then everyone takes

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off talking about stuff. But there
is a little relationship stuff because there's a

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couple of people who are dating,
not each other, but they're dating.

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So everyone wants an update, like
how did that date go? What happened

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with that one? So it's kind
of fun. It's a it's a great

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regroup. Anyway, back to my
chat about our friendships. Not every friend

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is meant to be a close intimate
friend. According to research, the most

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important friend we need, and we
need a bunch of them for our mental

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health and our physical health. It's
actually just a social friend. You know

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that friend that can stir up a
party anytime. You know the friend that

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you can call for a referral to
anything. I need a doctor, I'm

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a lawyer, I need a guy
to come and fix my pipes, whatever.

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Right, you have a friend that
you know is totally connected. Now

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you're not necessarily close with them,
but you're on their invitation list. Right.

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Those are the people that get us
out of the house. But more

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importantly, the science says, connect
us with all the other important brains that

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we have. One of my favorite
friends that goes probably in this category is

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chef Katie Chin. We've had her
on the show before. She's a celebrity

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chef. She used to have a
show on Bravo. You should look her

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00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:53.440
up online. Chef kata Chin is. I think her Instagram handal, but

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she is what do you call her? She says, a connector. She

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has so many friends. I've ever
heard her say a bad word about anybody.

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She's light and fun and happy.
And I know that if I need

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a referral for literally anything, she's
got the person for me. And I

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have a few friends like that.
They're amazing, so they are good for

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our mental health and physical health.
But we also need intimate friends. We

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can't go through our entire lives with
superficial friends or stage of life friends,

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or just historic friends, or just
common interest friends or social friends. We

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need a friend. We can open
up our heart too. And you're lucky

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if you have one or two in
the course of your lifetime. But ask

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yourself, if it were three in
the morning and you had a pain somewhere

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in your body and you thought maybe
I should go to an emergency, who

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00:25:48.839 --> 00:25:53.599
would you call? Do you have
that friend? Hey? What if you

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needed a five am run to lax
which friend would you call for the airport

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run? Only intimate friends do that, just to let you know. So

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I want you to if you haven't
spent the time in your life opening up

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to people, to take a risk. And that's really the next thing I

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need to talk about. So many
people write to me and say that they're

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feeling isolated or they're feeling alone.
This was exacerbated by the pandemic. Of

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course, we actually have more single
adults in America than married adults for the

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first time in history. Now,
I do want to say something about that

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data that it includes I think people
who are dating or cohabitating, so they

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may be in relationships right, but
still, and we also have more Americans

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living alone than ever before. This
is not what our biology is wired for.

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I want to remind you we are
walking around in very ancient biology.

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Our hunter gather ancestors are the same
that we are today. It takes generations

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and generations and generations to adapt to
environmental change. People will say this to

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me all the time. Why do
you read evolutionary psychologists psychology? That's what

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they needed back then, But today
things have changed, and so haven't we

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adapted. Oh no, no,
no, no, Our ways are very

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ancient and it takes many, many, many generations to adapt and change.

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So what do we need back then, Well, most humans traveled in roving

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bands of about thirty five pp thirty
to thirty five people. If it got

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up to forty, they often split
into two. Think about it, We've

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00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:45.680
discovered that's the most productive work group
size. That's the most productive elementary school

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classroom to learn in. Right,
we still keep these groups then? When

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we did, our closest intimate relationships
were in multigenerational family systems. So around

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us at all times was a village, a village filled with aunties and cousins

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00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:07.880
and uncles and close friends and nieces
and nephews and kids. We lived together

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00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:14.680
as one. This idea of leaving
the family of origin and going out and

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00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:18.759
becoming independent, of making your own
family of origin has been messing with our

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00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:23.880
mental health for decades. We've lost
the wisdom of having an elderly person in

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the home, not to mention the
free childcare. We have also lost the

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ability to get along with people who
may be close to us that we need,

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00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:37.480
but we may be different from them
in our thinking. It's good to

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have that messiness of a multigenerational family. So today, partly because of modern

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capitalism, the industrial revolution meant that
we needed a mobile workforce. And so

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somehow we came up with this really
political idea that we needed to be independent,

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we need to be individuals, we
needed to be separate from our family

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00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:04.880
of origin. And that was the
beginning of our mental health crisis. Truthfully,

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00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:10.400
industry needed us to move around for
jobs. They needed us to move

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around and find a different mate in
a different place. So as a result,

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00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:18.599
we're seeing more isolation than ever before. And the question I'm asked all

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the time is how do you make
friends? How do you find people?

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00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:23.680
Okay, I just want to stop. If you are working alone at home

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00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:26.119
on a computer, get off the
computer. Don't even try to make friends

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00:29:26.200 --> 00:29:30.000
there, Okay, unless it's to
find a meetup group to go out and

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00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:33.480
join, you know, to go
hiking or meeting for some common interest.

405
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:41.160
The number one way to meet compassionate
people is to volunteer whatever that organization is,

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00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:45.799
because it attracts people who care,
and those people who care likely will

407
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make good friends. Right, They'll
be good friends for you. So I

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00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:51.880
would say, if you need to
get out of your rut, you need

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00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:56.160
to do something different. This is
the time to find a group where you

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00:29:56.200 --> 00:30:00.799
can give your time or your talents
or both. Not just your money,

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your time or your talents, but
the other way to make friends is to

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be a friend. Ask yourself who
around you need something some giving and what

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00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:17.279
can you do for them? And
also ask yourself, am I being real,

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open and authentic with people? Or
am I walking around with a game

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00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:29.480
face? Am I walking around afraid
to be authentic? Because then, oh,

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00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:33.079
people might not like me if they
knew the real me? And so

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00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:37.119
we're fronting, We're pretending to be
somebody who were not. Ask yourself,

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00:30:37.519 --> 00:30:42.200
is this what you're doing? Or
are you ready now to be real and

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00:30:42.359 --> 00:30:47.799
make some close friends? All right, let's get into romantic relationships when we

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come back. Let's talk about huggin
and kissing. Did you know sometimes we

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00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:57.000
bristle at our partner's touch. I'll
explain why. And there are some places

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00:30:57.000 --> 00:31:03.119
in the world where people hug and
kill the most. You've been listening to

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00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:07.279
doctor Wendy Walls. You can always
hear us live on k five AM six

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00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:11.640
forty from seven to nine pm on
Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app,