Its season four. Welcome to Bottle Death Bitches, your favorite sex podcast hosted
by a horny married couple with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer Man Adam.
Sex shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing, so let's talk about it. Well.
First of all, welcome back to another Welcome back to another episode of Bottle
the Bitches Anniversary Edition edition. We did it guys, another year, another
year in the books for Adam and Rihanna. Yeah. When we say anniversary,
we mean I'm not talking about the podcast. Oh yes, it like
it means in love, in love and our life. Yes, for you
and me, for love and life and for you me and Dubree. And
if you want to know more about our love story, like, I don't
see a point in. Let's see a pointing. We're going into the full
love story. We did that last year. So if you're curious about how
we met, in the progression of our relationship and all those cute little tidbits
there is. There are two or three episodes A Bitch's Love Story, Parts
one and two, and there might be a third. I don't remember.
There's just two. I think there's just two. Okay, Um, but
yeah, you can go and listen to those then to learn about how we
met in the progression of our relationship. But um, for those of you
who already listened to those things, UM, this is premiering a few days
after our anniversary, correct, but before our anniversary celebration, So we'll have
another episode telling you about how that work, how that goes, and our
sex escapades allegedly that we'll be having for our anniversary. Yeah. So our
anniversary was June eight, yes, and then um, yeah, this when
you're listening to well, when this releases on Monday, that weekend is when
we're actually celebrating that kind of weekend. Correct. Yeah, we're celebrating the
weekend of the seventeenth, sixteen seventeen something like that because we're busy this this
coming weekend. So yeah, we're celebrating. Um, just for a clarification,
we got married on our first date anniversary. Yes, Um, I
wanted one anniversary and Adam he gave it to me. So eight years together,
four years married. Um, so that's the anniversary that we're celebrating this
year. How you feel, Um, I don't know. It sounds like
it's it's it's exciting, but also it almost just like flies by, Yeah,
in a weird way. I don't know how to explain it where I'm
like, my, yeah, eight years, where it's kind of like crazy
that it's been eight years. I don't know, I don't know how to
explain it. Like it's it is exciting, don't get me wrong, but
it is like a weird it is. No, no, no, no,
it's just it's just it's almost I don't know, it's like like hard
to believe to a certain extent. Yeah, and not to dive into your
whole mental health or anything or the way you are, but I am going
to go into it a little bit. I think you struggle with living in
the moment. Yeah. I think that you are always thinking about what you
should have by now or where you want to be in two or three years,
Pokemon go to the pole. I think that you're constantly in your head,
that you that you can't process time. Yeah, very well, I
get that something I really want you to work on because I do think it
prevents you from being happy. Yeah. But yeah, no, it's it's
been a journey. Yeah, So I really want you to save her the
flavor of these moments in these years because although you may feel like I don't
have enough money by this age, or I don't have I wish my career
was in a certain point in place. I'm like, well, by the
time you get that, you're not even be able to appreciate that, because
you're just too busy thinking about how big of a disappointment you are to yourself.
Because whether we struggle this year emotionally or financially or what have you,
it still leaps and bounds above where we started. And I think, especially
in our relationship, there's been so much growth and how we are as people.
I'm really proud of you, and I just wish you could see how
proud of you I am. Thank you. It makes me so emotional because
I don't think you see it, because I just watch you beat yourself up
every single day about things that don't really matter. When we die, it's
not going to matter how much it's in your bank account. What matters to
me is making every day fun and laughing with you and loving you, and
whether we get to go do something or sit on the couch together, like,
I just want to love you every day, so I'm not thinking about
all these other things. So I wish you could do that a little bit
more, because if you think about it, you did that a little bit
more in the beginning because you were young and you're like, I don't have
anything. Who cares? So I still want you to be like, it
doesn't matter if what we have, who cares? We have each other and
we're gonna do great. Yeah. So yeah, I'm just very proud of
you. You're such a hard worker. And I just wish she lived in
the moment a little bit more, a lottle bit more, because you're just
gonna be a miserable old man either way. Just at least it could be
a fun miserable old man. Yeah, but we thought it would be fun.
I made you shout out to twenty year old Rihanna who made a one
year anniversary jar. And I'm surprised we didn't go over this last year.
I don't think we thought about it or or I don't know why. I
think we just were like, oh, nobody knows how we met, will
do that. Yeah, but for our one year anniversary, so that would
have been June a, twenty sixteen, I gave you a present, which
was a Mason jar filled with a year's worth of memories correct, And I
kind of wish I did that every year. I know that would have been
a fun thing to like for us to keep keep going with. Well,
eight years, we can start doing that. Yeah, now if you want
Yeah, who want it? We were we were with a friend recently and
they said that year four of marriage, you know, it's your four of
marriage? Paper is paper? Oh shit? Is it really? I think
that's what she said if I remember. Correct. Oh, you were drunk.
So I don't know if you remember this conversation. I don't. Who
are we with? We were with I'm drunk all the time, baby,
you gotta be more specific. It was when I picked you guys up at
deep Eddy. Oh okay, so recently yeah, the latest drunkie correct.
Yes, Oh that's so fun. Oh yeah, because she has an anniversary
a week after our correct, so we're on the same path. Yeah,
okay, Well I think we should do that. So does that mean that
we, like, is this year do we sit down and make a bunch
of memories for this past year, for technically year seven. That's kind of
what I'm thinking, because otherwise we beat Yeah, unless we want to like
try to go through the memories of what the past no, I just didn't
mean like no, I mean I'm more mean, like, so, do
we catalog this past year and pickle that like for like this weekend, for
example, for our anniversary, or do we start cataloging to be pickled for
the end? So like it, what the pickle is is year eight because
technically we're still in year seven. We're about to be in year eight,
got it? I think I think we do we pickle for eight, pickle
for nine, pickle for eight, pickled the eighth year, pickle the eighth
year. Okay, yeah, so come back next year, guys, and
we'll read the jar correct, Okay, that's why it's freshy yeah, yeah,
yeah. And plus we've had a lot happen this past year that like,
I think we've a lot of good moments, so it's going to be
a lot of brutal moments. It was a rough year. It's been a
last rough couple of years, but not for us, but just like just
life. Yeah, yeah, I think do you do you think you can
try and commit to living more in the moment this next year relationship. I'm
definitely gonna try, you know, I'm I'm hoping there's a big change in
my life as of today that I'm hoping well maybe you know, um,
there's this like kind of analogy of those struggling artists where the idea being like
when you have nothing, you know, I hear about this a lot with
like comedians who you know, they're like, why didn't have any money?
Like it made me hungrier and push harder to have that success because like I
had to get that success because I have no money. Um, And I
was thinking about this recently. I think that's that's very different. That's a
little easier when you're by yourself, right when you're single all that, Like
you know, having a wife makes that a little more complicated. And I
think for me, what about it makes it more complicated? Well, that
there's another person relying on you. Um, Like it's easy. It's easy
for like one person to be like I'll be struggling, I'll be starving all
that. But like when you introduce like now you have a partner in life,
like you know, there's there's two people involved there. But I think,
like what I think I've come to realize is I think like my struggles
overwhelmed me, or my stress is about that kind of thing overwhelmed me.
So much that like my quote unquote artistry, like like it almost just like
squeezes that down, you know what I mean, where I can't like have
that artistic outlet because it's just being like overcome with anxiety about other things.
So I'm hoping that this change helps with that quite a bit. Yeah,
and like with that, you know, like that's still I need to be
more in the moment, but at least a step forward to help alleviate that
a little bit, I hope. So yeah, and just learning how to
exert your energy. Yeah, because I also don't want this new opportunity to
mean you're gonna get home every day not want to talk to me and be
miserable or not want to go anywhere or work on studio things. Um,
because I think that it's a every job is going to be tiresome, but
like we can't we just can't live to work, correct. Um. Okay,
So with that being said, tangent and break down aside, we're gonna
open up these jar, this jar, and something we need to do until
do this time is when we pull you out when you to like shuffle them
because you unraveled them and then like stacked them together. So they're like,
um, so here, give me the jar. So one whole year.
And it's funny because the paper that I used for this, I still have
it. Oh do you really? Yeah? Yeah, so we can pickle
them the same construction paper because I don't throw things away and I use all
of it. So get off of me. That was okay, not me,
you too, here, I'll just you're not supposed to stick your hand
into things, but I did anyway. Okay, you've a little hand you
ready? Yepkay. It says trying to impress me by feeding a stray cat,
and then we had five cats. I'm still paying for that one.
Okay, we've talked about this before. We've we have a thousand cats.
Speaking of Adam decided to feed a cat. I had a cat before,
Adam. We've talked about the cat saga. I think, yeah, yeah,
I'll let me know if you want to hear more about the cat.
Yeah, I mean we'll give a brief. Yeah, there was a stray
cat that I started feeding to impress you. I named her Myrtle. We
named her Myrtle, and it kind of as our relationship blossomed. My relationship
with Myrtle blossoms Um. She ended up kind of like becoming a roommate.
Like I would let her in sometimes she would sleep at the apartment over night
sometimes and then she'd be like I'm good to go, and I would let
her out. I'll never forget being surprised by that, that you're letting her
into your apartment, Like that was a choice he made on your own.
Like I was got there one day and I think she was inside. I
was like, what's Myrtle doing inside? You're like, I don't know if
she wanted to come inside, And I was like, oh work, Yeah,
I fell in love. I fell in love with the little girl I
missed. I missed that that woman. Um, but she ended up It
turns out she was pregnant. She's finding a place, she was finding a
place to lay her behaby. She was taking advantage of us because she gave
birth. She didn't tell her she was pant, She didn't tell us she
was pregnant. She gave birth. Well, we knew she was pregnant before
she eventually, Yeah, I just was like, man, she's fat.
Yeah. Yeah, And I think we found out because we were just like,
this doesn't make sense, but how I thought she is and we just
started. We like laid her down and put her hands on her stomach.
I felt felt, we felt kicking, Yeah, we felt moving, yeah,
movement in there. Yeah, no it was. It was a mind
blowing thing. Um. We never had a kid, so like, oh
my life is in there. Wild. So she eventually gave birth in the
apartment and then she fucked off. I we never saw her again. Really,
she got out. Yeah, you chased her through the parking lot,
picked her up and lectured her about how she has kittens and she what is
she doing? She's a terrible mother. Yeah, you liked her back into
I forced her to stay there for a while because they needed they were like
they couldn't eat at that point there. You still needed to be um nursed,
and so once once the nursing face was done, she I don't remember
ever seeing her. She never came back to like eat or anything. She
was gone. No, she came back because when you moved in with me,
I felt bad because you were still feeding her. She just didn't care
about the kittens anymore. Okay, because when we moved I was like,
You're like, she's fine, Like I don't see her all you told me,
Like I don't see her all the time. I don't feed her consistently,
but we saw her from time to time. Yeah, but she had
four kids and then that she's like take care of them, be good at
them by Yeah. Yeah, and that kind of snowballed into while we now
have three cats. Yeah, we kept two from the litter. I had
one of my own, and then we just continuously had three cats. Yeah.
Yeah, party, party, Okay, your turn right? Um singing
seal when faking up poop. I don't know what said. I mean,
let me see. I have no idea. You know used to did you
used to sing Kiss from a Rose? I think we had. I think
we I think I remember vaguely. I think we used to have kind of
this running joke, like inside joke between us that I think I would see.
I think the joke was whenever either one of us is poop, we
would sing loudly kiss from a Rose to try to disguise the sound of us
pooping. That's so funny. But this is such a foreign concept to me.
I have zero im like a vague memory, like this makes sense,
like I wrote it down, so obviously this was a thing that I have
zero memory. It's funny because you and I have a lot of inside jokes.
Yeah, but man, when they fade off, we don't touch those
inside jokes like ever again. Yeah, but I think I vaguely remember that
that that's very funny. I don't remember that at all, that's funny.
I'm excited about this. I'm like, I was nervous that I was just
gonna keep polling things that are like yeah, I know, yeah, yeah,
yeah, Yeah. Let's see all the episodes of Drag Race we've watched
and it hasn't stopped, hasn't stopped? Yeah, sure, No, I
mean I think both of us those are for both of our first dat watching
drag first times and it became like, you know, up to eight years
later we've watched. Yeah, it's a pretty hardcore thing. I would say
that's the one show that we've been consistent about. Yeah, that's been on
the whole time, to be fair. Yeah, yeah, because Jag Race
is on like season fifteen or something. But Drag's really important to us.
One of our it wasn't we were dating at the time. This isn't our
first date. This happened in May of twenty fifteen that we went out with
a friend and we went to a drag show. Yeah, and we're going
to see a drag show for our wedding for anniversary so and now, and
we've been too many jag shows. You've seen, Alessa Edwards, Yeah,
no dragons A. It's funny because I know, I guess it is,
but I've never thought of it in that context. Drag is such a staple
in our life, in our relationship at Bianca del Rio, we got our
autograph too, pictures with her. Yeah, and I didn't even really I
think you. I knew about it to a certain extent, but it was
like you kind of opened that up. I had a couple I mean,
I had just started going to drag shows and I met you. Yeah.
I think I'd only been to one or two other ones, honestly, and
it's because of my friend Erica. And it's funny. I remember, even
at the time, I remembered would see like DVD like the seasons of like
RuPaul's Drag Race, like the first couple of seasons. I would see the
DVDs when I would go to like a movie, yeah, rental place,
and it was it was like the stillest It's exact same logo that they used
today her in the pink track suits. They never changed that. And I
knew, I knew like what a drag queen was, and I knew like
that was part of it. And I had a vague idea of who RuPaul
was, but I never understood what it was. It just yeah, yeah,
yeah, okay, yeah, keeping keeping the marriage alive, keeping straight
couples alive are amazingly random. First date. Yeah, I don't know what
you mean by that, because you just texted me on a whim, gave
me only two or three hour notice, which we've talked about a couple of
times. Yeah. Yeah, of our first date, you just asked me,
and it just wasn't It was just such an unplanned Yeah. Yeah,
you're like, no, this is a date, Like I want to be
more than friends with you, this is a date. Yeah. Yeah,
Well I think I texted you, hey I look good. Yeah, that's
gone. You're dressed in a suit. I'm sure that was not I know
that's our running joke, but I want to find those texts. It was
probably just like, hey, you busy tonight. I had to get dressed.
You want to get dressed too? Like if I load the paraphrase of
it. It all looks confidence with sexy professor sexy student Halloween. Oh my
god, yeah, and you had it was like one of my first times
getting drunk. Yeah, we were so fun. A friend of ours was
throwing a Halloween costume party for Halloween at their house, and we went as
professor and sexy student. Yeah. I wore a little skirt that was fun
back my mother's yeah, because she did this exact same costume, my stepdad,
like when I was in fifth grade, and she gave me that skirt
and we went to the Good Wine and got you a track suit, got
you an at track suit. I was a Russian professor, good sports code,
I mean yeah, and we I just threw out the gray spray paint
that we put in your hair, like, oh, how funny this past
move or something. I was like, that's probably been about ten years,
it's probably dried up, but I just kept it all this time. We
never used it again. And I was under age and we were with your
friends and they had alcohol. Under twenty one. Yes, let's make that
clear because sorry, yeah, I was under twenty one. I was twenty
and I got I did a bunch of orange vodka shots and I had a
lot of muffins because Gloria made muffins and they were like partly raw, and
I got very, very drunk and I taped my titties together so they looked
huge and you had to untape them while I was drunk. And then I
got like three hours of sleep, and then I had a meeting the next
morning at them all for like a Black Friday meeting, and they said it's
mandatory and if you don't go, you're fired. So I had to,
Like I was definitely still tipsy, had to roll myself out of bed,
was going to throw up when just ship leaves to give myself a couple of
collachies got there own time, and I sat there and I was so dazed,
like I was so messed up, and they're like, Rihanna, so
drunk, and I was just like, well, eat stupid eating, and
they're like, like, it's Halloween and it was daylight saving time, you
got an extra hour of sleep. And I remember my managering saying, no,
she got an extra hour to party, and I was like, damn
straight, yeah fuck then that how stupid of them to have a mandatory meeting
the day the morning after Halloween. Yeah, it was a Sunday and it
was November. It was and it was dumb management. Um. Yeah,
and we had sex on their washing machine. We did have sex on their
washing machine. Did we also have sex in the bathroom? We did?
I think when we were like, let's have sex in every room? Yeah,
I think. I think. Yeah. We didn't even really party.
We drink a lot. I think we're there for like two hours. I
drink a lot. We had a lot of sex, and then like we
didn't like half the people there, Like, we didn't do a lot of
socializing. Well, we didn't know a lot of the people there. Yeah,
and the people we did know, for the most part, we liked.
Yeah, yeah, there's the one. It was a big party.
Yeah. Yeah, there's just a lot of people we don't know. We
didn't know. Hey, beautiful bitches, have you heard of our Patreon yet?
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and enjoy all the exclusive benefits to become a very important bitch. There you
go, your churn. That was a good Halloween. Yeah, that was
weird al concert, which one the first one? The first one. Yeah.
The what I liked about that concert is that you don't post on Facebook,
but you posted a photo of you and I on Facebook and he said,
like going to see a weird awl with my beautiful girlfriend. And I
think that was the first thing you ever called me your girlfriend. Like you
had called me girlfriend to like to me, but like you hadn't posted or
anything about it. It was on Facebook official until that point. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. It made me feel special. And I didn't eat like
any seafood at that time like I do now. Yeah. I was gonna
say, that's the one where you add the is like the seafood place next
to the MHM, next to the next to the haul. Yeah, and
you ate and I didn't because I was like, I'm not hungry, but
no, I was just a really picky eater and like got overwhelmed by the
menu and didn't order anything. I believe that that was the mandatory fun,
wasn't it. Yes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got
those tickets for you. Thank you. I had a good time. That
was a fun show. It was a great show. Yeah. That's the
one where he like walked through the audience because he starts off with TACKI.
He starts off with the song TACKI, and so he performs it. He
starts it like at the entrance of the venue and walks through the crowd as
he's doing the dance from the music video. Yeah, and he's wearing that
suit. Yeah yeah, Okay. Our intense Christmas with both of our families,
my mom, where am I going to put this? Do you know
what? That is? Our intense Christmas with both of our families. I
think that's when we did a double when we went and did Christmas in the
morning with my parents, okay and my nephew. Yeah, and we were
there for a couple of hours in the morning. We stayed, well,
we stayed the night, did Christmas in the morning, and then had to
leaven do Christmas with your family the same day. And they were probably down
in Houston or yes, you know, down at the Double Tree like they
usually were. Yeah, and we Christmas in their hotel room. I think
this was what I was talking about recently, about how we had a holiday
that we were so overwhelmed and you got into kind of an overwhelmed situation.
Yeah. And we got to your car and we were still we haven't even
left the parking lot, and you were like angry at your parents. Yeah,
and I had to really console you and be like it's okay, because
you were just so you were so mad at them. Yeah. I don't
remember why. Um, there was just a lot of about oh my god,
now I remember. I'm I think it might be combining a couple of
things, you know, our first Christmas together. Okay, that's what this
is, sure, our first Christmas togethers. When I told your parents that
they need to stop supporting you if you were going to move in with me.
We moved in together after six months. We moved in together in January,
so we were together in June. We had been together for about almost
six months. We decided we were going to move in together. I told
you I found out that your parents kind of helped you with rent from time
to time. I didn't like that, and I told them that they needed
to stop putting money in your bank account and enabling you. And I got
into it with your mom and she's like, I'm not going to bandon my
child. And I told her, like, you're not abandoning him. He's
not good with money, he's not he's not great saving, and I'm like,
he's not going to be if you keep putting money. And you told
her like, yeah, like there's times where the level in your bank account
and there's like fifty dollars. You're like, yeah, that happens, but
usually that means like I'm going to get paid the next day and yeah,
and then your dad wasn't very helpful about it, and yeah, it was
really intense. Yeah, that's what it was. Because then January we moved
in together. Got it. Okay, what's the last sentence? Do you
know what that means? My mom? Where am I gonna put this?
This is her her casino game that my stepdac, Yeah, because he bought
her a slot machine. He bought her a full size yeah, Vegas style
slot machine. Yeah, and she was like, where am I gonna put
this? Yeah, which is a fair question because that thing was she was
so pissed off I don't even think I've seen that thing since I have.
It's there, it's there, It's just it's just buried behind all the other
ship. Her mom's a arder. That's funny. Well we figured it out.
Yeah, good for us. All right, let's see I got a
couple of heir. You built a lot this year. Coffee table, shelving
shelves, barstool, drawing table. Yeah, just me being a handyman.
You've being the IKEA handyman and yeah, yeah, I think most of that,
except for the drawing table, was probably Ikea. Yeah, we had
that bartol, we had it at Westgate. The bar stool, bar stool
I'm thinking of a bar no, no, no, does he being a
handyman. Yeah, it was Keys's bar stool for for years. Yeah,
and the bear and lots of photos I had always vacuumed. The cushion,
Yeah, it has was a white cushion, and I'm gonna say ninety percent
of the time it was black. Yeah, just from all their for You're
really good Alyssa Edwards impersonation. It always goes back to drag, it always
does. Do you have been the first season we have ryin? All right?
Probably I think Jinks. This season was the first season we ever watched
and Jinks was on that season yeah, six, season six, because the
season before that would have been um yeah, the season five season Sharon Needles.
I think first season it wasn't We went back and re watched it once
we figured out who she was. We went back that season four. That's
a season of teeth. Yeah. Yeah, and then I believe it's Jenks
and the natural Jinks. It's beyond okay. Yeah, how funny. Yeah.
And Alyssa was on Jinks this season. Yeah, huh. I mixed
them. I combined them all together. I remember these things. You're good
about it. It always goes back to drag, always goes back to drag
chorus. We've actually seen her life. I know that was last year for
the year before. I think it would have even been last year. It
would have been last Ye'm trying to think. It wasn't this year, right,
I had COVID cars, So it was last year, got it?
It was last year. Yeah, it was like June seventeenth or something like
that. So we're about to approach a year. When we saw her show,
which was amazing, I cried. Yeah, Yeah, this is an
interesting one. Um, it says Ruby cricket crossed out Aubrey cricket, crossed
out Alaska cricket. It always goes back to drag to a certain extent.
So that those were the names that we were going to name our kid,
yeah, our daughter. Yeah. Yeah. We liked Ruby cricket because your
grandma Ruby. And then you realize she's a racist, so we said we
can't name her Ruby. I don't think she's a real I think Ruby's a
racist. I mean she's probably she lives in she's ninety something years old and
lives in bum fuck Missouri. Like she's probably not the most progressive dramatic happened?
No, okay, I think we just changed it. I also know
a Ruby and she secks. Maybe that was what it was, um.
And then Aubrey for your grandfather, and then your cousin had a daughter named
Aubrey, so we're like, well, we can't have two Aubrey's. And
then which, by the way, if anyone deserved to name their kid Aubrey,
yeah, because you were the favorite favorite. And then we landed on
Alaska cricket because dragon. Yeah, interest a pretty name for a little girl.
I think Alaska. So funny that I was my grandfather's favorite and the
rest of the family eats me. Maybe maybe those are connected. Yeah,
I just pulled Oh it's you, it's me Rivers having fun. Oh,
I had such intense hint I read it wrote a lot on these little guys.
We never got to clone your dick, but it's the thought that counts.
O. God, I tried so many. I think I buy like
five of those fucking things of the Willies. I tried to do a Clona
Willie for you. Yeah, yeah, you. I wanted you to be
my first sex toy, and it was. It was so fucking hard.
It was so soft, I imagine, Yeah, that was the problem.
You have to like here's the thing. And I think I told you this,
but like I'll be fucking real with you. It's such a process to
like stay hard during the whole process, to keep yourself hard. But I'm
not gonna fucking lie, like because you have to like make the thing to
like stick your dick into it while it's still hard and then leave it in
there for like a little while while maintaining hard. Like that's not fun.
It was so hard. I imagine, like there's an initial and it felt
good. I'm not gonna lie like the little like it was like it was
like a like a little pocket pussy thing, like yeah, well that just
negates what I was gonna say. I was gonna say, imagine there's an
initial shock with your penis that shrivels up a little bit because it's like,
oh, what is that? But you're like, oh it felt good,
No, no, no, it felt good, and like, yeah,
it was tough, like I tried, like watching porn while doing it,
Like I tried all kinds of stuf. And those things were expensive. You
spent a lot of money even for us now making those two you mean two
of them, I think, yeah, because I kept it. You're supposed
to put a vibrator inside of it, and you gave you. Oh that's
true. Yeah, we just kept a little cheap shitty vibrators. Yeah.
Yeah, those things are there. They don't work. Excuse me. I
love the way you love me. I don't know if that's a memory or
if that's just a nice sentiment. I didn't think I was running out.
Well, I appreciate it, and I love you the way you love me.
I don't even know what I mean. Maybe Joe another one Tool concert.
Hey, yeah, let's not think about the fight we got in afterwards
on the way back to the hotel. You were insensitive a shit with me
that night, I gotta say, But that's besides the point. It's a
good show. Yeah, it made me realize I enjoyed Primus. Yeah,
yeah, we saw a Tool and nonetheless it was a great show. Primus
open enough for them, and then Three Teeth whatever the fuck that was three
Tooth three Tooth, which was like a heavy like I was like a death
metal band with a DJ. It was weird. I didn't know we saw
them in the first year. That's wild. Yeah, I don't think I
realized that he was a big fight for us. Yeah, and we continue
that trend we get every time we go to San Antonio. Every time we've
gotten better about it. There were quite a few in a row times we'd
go to San Antonio and getting huge fight. Yeah. I don't know what
that was about. Oh, he pissed me off the end of day.
I'll never forget delicious Bubba Gumps. Then forty minutes to shitter on. We
decided to go to Chema and went this is boring. Yes, yes,
because they're fucking shit to do it. Kid, There wasn't nothing to do.
We were just bored, and I said, well, let's go to
Chema. Everyone goes to the Chema Boardwalk. I used to have so much
fun there when I was a kid. And then we got there and you
were like, I don't ride rides and I was like, oh, okay,
And I don't think I realized that was to do. They knew even
give them credit, they have like they have like a ferre as well,
they have a Faroh they have like they have like four or five rides.
But I think also just like expensive, and yeah, it didn't realize there
wasn't a lot to do. Yeah, like I haven't been a Chey Mustins
as a kid. If you want to go, and I think that's why,
like it seems to be a place you take your young child. Yeah,
and then we're like what do you want to do? And then I
was like, well there's water, and we're like, I'm not getting in
this fucking water. Mexico. Yeah, So we went to schlitter Bond and
yeah, I thought we thought it was close. It's like we're in Keema.
Let's just go to Galveston And it was a yeah, forty minute drive
from Chema to Galveston and went and knowing us we got to Schlitterbond like at
three pm. Probably, Yeah, we have a tendency to do that.
It's been like three hours. We used to do that a lot. We
used to like leave it too randomly. Yeah, Like we wouldn't have a
plan to go to Schlitterbond, but at some point during the day be like,
well, let's just go to schlitter Bonn. We we circ It wasn't
a short drive either, that was like a forty five minute drive. Um,
so it's not terrible. Yeah, sure it is a trek for for
for on a whim going to a water park. And yeah, we always
went like at the end of the day. Yeah, because we wouldn't think
about it though. It was so fun though, we so circle back,
we thought about getting schlitter Bonn. People don't know where shoulterbon is. It
probably not yea parks. It's a water park. It's a big water but
there's two of them in Texas. Yeah, no, it's it's a big
one. I brought this up to someone recently and they're like, what is
that. I had no idea that Schildter bonn was a Texas thing. Yeah,
it's like a six Flags but about a water park. Yeah, it's
huge, huge, huge, um. Lots of rides, lots of lazy
river nests to do. Um. But we circle back on that and thought
about getting season passes because they pay themselves off into visits. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean like it's just coming full circle that now we're like we're still
eight years later, like should we get different? Yeah, it's the New
Bronville one. Yeah. If you're ever in the Galveston area and New Bronzevilt
in Texas and you like water parks, um long late drives around the city.
I think we talked about this recently on this show that we used to
we used to just kind of get in the car and just drive. Yeah.
We put on a good Yeah, we put on a good playlist.
You would tell me you make requests, you'd really put this song up.
Yeah, this is the first time I ever heard ice Cream Man by Van
Halen. It's such a good song. I love that song. It's a
good song. And then we got to see it live, and then we
got to see him live. I believe we saw them in our first year.
No, yes, hear me out because we saw it in September.
We saw them near my birthday, and because I remember sitting in your lap
in your apartment. We were in your apartment when we looked up the tickets,
So that means it had been the first year. Interesting because, like
I said, we only spent the first six months in your apartment. Yeah,
huh, doesn't seem right. I mean, I believe you'll take your
work fla, but it just doesn't feel like it was that early. I
think it was. I'm sure it's in this in this bucket, all the
many janked up haircuts you've gotten me. Yeah, you got a lot of
bad haircuts. Yeah. Probably I should just go to like a sports clip,
which I don't think they're terrible. Well, you know, you didn't
even go to a sports clips. You always went in the mall. Oh,
I always went to the always went to Visible Changes, Visible Changes,
Yeah, the mall. But you were really shy and you weren't really great
at like showing them a photo. And I was like, Adam, you
have to show them the picture and yeah, and then you're like, can
you just come with me? And now I've got to go to your haircuts.
You whipped creamed my movies. Oh I ripped queamed your movies? You
did, I think so, I guess so, yeah, I guess in
the first year, I ate whip cream off here in the first year,
I put a pie. You tried to put a pet featuring on your pepe,
but you're just so big. How big is he? I don't even
know where that idea came from to do that. We're just young and excited
apsex, So we just were. We put all the foods on each other.
I stuck to your boobies because I didn't want to you to get I've
always been very much like, we're not putting anything near my holes. Yeah.
Bringing keys home, boy, we're still paying for that one too.
Huh. That's the one you always hear screaming is keys. Yeah. That
was in a February twenty sixteen. Do you remember what we said? So
we went to the we went to the shelter. We were looking for a
cat, yeah, because we one of our cats died. One of our
cats died. That would have been Honeybun. And then we had his sister
Bear. This is Myrtles, the two that we had from Myrtle, sister
Bear was still alive, and they were like best friends. They constantly cuddled,
and she seemed very sad. Whether she was actually sad or also dying,
you were also sad. So we went to the pounds and try to
get another a cat to play with her, to play with her. Do
you remember what we said? We said something because we looked at a bunch
of cats, huh, and there's just a lot of cats. So we
kind of were like we did and narrow this shit down. And I remember
saying, I don't want a kitten like one that's like at least a year
old, because I was like sad about that. You know that the older
cats don't get a chance. Sure. Um. And there was a security
officer there. He looked like the bailiff from Judge Judy. He was like
a big black dude. He was just a volunteer. I don't think it
was security, no, I know, but I'm comparing. Okay, okay,
oh, sorry, you're right. I think I did the security.
I'm combining the security bailiff. It's what he looked like. And I said,
I'm looking for a cat like, you know, a year or two
old or something that has a lot of personality. Okay, I said a
lot of personality and he said keys, yeah, and then he just walked
away and we followed him into a room. We went into a room.
We looked around and we saw a cat with the biggest eyes that screamed at
us. He was like fucking zaboomafoo. And I went is that him?
And he went yeah, And he came running up to running. He was
like selling myself today. He had a brother that he left, he might
as well like put his hand on his brother's face, pushed him out of
way and ran up to us. Yeah. No, keys was He's like,
I'm done with this place. I'm getting home. I'm getting a home
today. Yeah. And we were in a room with like probably there's so
many cats in that room was a pretty large room. Yeah, and he
did. He ran up to us and like put his whole body on our
feet, like wanted all the pets. Yeah. No, Like he didn't
come off like a psycho at all. He got us good. Um,
And I was like, say less, say less, queen. Yeah,
I think we were in and out of that place, like this is the
one for us. Area is and now we're stuck with his pain in the
ass. Now I love him, he's my best friend. He say something
to the crag keys. Oh, now he's shy. That's the one thing
people say is remember when you had a friend watched him and he said the
little guy at the mustache likes to talk. Yeah, everyone says it,
mm hmm living in your apartment when mine was better, referring you. Keep
everyone keep in mind that Rihanna wrote these. Yes, so, yeah,
you had a ship apartment. Apartment. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't great.
It was gross. You'd a gross apartment. I liked the layout though,
sure it likes the layout a lot. Yeah, it was just a
little studio. Yeah, but they like the toilet and the tub. I
never once took a shower, and you I would go back to it was
pretty stained. I mean it was pretty. It wasn't like it was pretty
gross. It was pretty gross. Nigan. Oh it wasn't gross like you.
You took care of it like it was clean. It was just it
was just it was a little bit of a rundown comp yes, for sure.
And yeah it always had to the police lights going off and they never
locked. Yeah, sketch cheese. And then people who ran it. We're
fucking idiots. Yeah, they were getting tipsy at Riya Riya's and then going
to the Wax Museum. But fun fact, that was the day we saw
a Tool Oh is it? Yeah? We did all that. We were
in San Antonio for that Tool concert. Yeah. Yeah, Well, well
we stayed the night. Yeah. Was that the only time or have we
done it staying in the night stand? I think that might have been the
only time we stayed. And it was cool because we had no We stayed
the night a second time because we got really drunk on the river Walk together
and we stayed like on the Riverwalk because your dad got us a room at
one time, like at Hilton. Was that not the same time? Okay,
because the reason we got into a fight at Tool is because we couldn't
You weren't really listening to me about getting an uber, like we couldn't get
an uber yeh. But there were shuttles and I was trying to talk to
you into talking to like, see we can get on one of these shuttles
because it was a dead zone for a car. Yeah, and we finally
did. You were just like not solution oriented and the shuttle dropped us off
like in downtown San Antonio and you were just wanting to walk all the way
to the hotel, and I was scared. And at one point we had
like three different guys following us, and I think and we ran like we
kind of like half jogged like into like a diner or something for a second
because they were following us. We were gonna get we were gonna get mugged,
and you just didn't seem to give a shit. Yeah, I didn't
feel safe. It felt like you didn't care that I felt that way,
and we literally almost got mugged. But no, we stayed either like a
Laquinta or something like that, because remember we had a weird address and like
the driver kept taking us to a different wrong to the wrong one. Yeah,
so we've stayed in Santonio twice, got it, But yeah, this
one was fun. I miss Ria Rita's. It's still like there and it
doesn't open, but it's there. And after they had a time after COVID
and they keep acting like they're going to reopen, but it never happened.
That's where you got your big margarita that sharks, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
And then we went to the last museum, massive mute, massive Margarita's.
Yeah, and they were good, and um, yeah, how did
I get one? Because I got drunk too. I think they just didn't
courage. I don't think that was only I was only you would have only
you would have been nineteen or twenty. Yeah, yeah, I think they
just didn't guard it. They didn't card me on the river, which is
actually interesting because that is such a too risky place. You think they would
be more yeah, careful about that kind of thing. I remember we went
to Riho Rita's though, like early in the day. We had most of
the boardwalk to ourselves. It wasn't like crazy busy the wax Museum. There
wasn't a ton of people. There's true. It probably a weekday. It's
probably a weekday. So yeah, really good, really yummy drinks. Is
their last one? Probably our last one or last three oh, one of
our first accidental days to Ragu and Pesto. And there was a bug we've
talked about, talked about the bug on this Yeah. We uh, we
were just friends. We went to lunch and ended up being like a I
thought it was just gonna be like a Fazzoli's, which you know, I
thought it was just gonna be like some casual little Italian place you get like
spaghetti and mepos. It was in a strip. It was in a strip,
and like even the signage didn't look like it was this fancy place,
but uh it was. It wasn't. It wasn't decent. It was decently
nice, Like it was a deep location more than it was two friends hanging
out. It was we went during lunch and I was wearing like a bandy
enough for a talk. Yeah, and I was wearing just like I was
a tank top, like we were both very under dressed. M definitely like
some mob activity happening. Yeah. We sold lots of older Italian people just
going straight to the background like yeah, and like straight up mob wives like
we think of a mob wive. These women were just like headed clickaty clacking
back to the back room. Um. But yeah, and then a cricket,
yeah, was on our seat and they gave us free espressos they did.
Yeah, I remember thinking they were so gross. They were probably good.
I just wasn't my palette. It wasn't refining. Yeah, that was
still in your chicken nugget phase. Er Um. If we had time to
extend though, can we talk about how we found a card or should we
save that for the Patreon. Oh no, we can do that here,
should do that here, we can do that here. Okay, So amongst
getting the Jar of Memories, Adam has a shoebox filled with all the shitty
gifts that I had given him, which is a lot of paper products,
and one is a card that says Adam with a heart on it. And
it is not open. Yeah, it is completely licked sealed this envelope,
and I am I think it is. I think it just I don't.
I think I remember this card. I think it's just the envelope, like
it seems pretty lid closed. There's no way. I don't know, but
I've never not opened a card you gave me. I think you didn't open
this card. There's no way I got this card and didn't open it.
But yeah, we're gonna go in and open it, and then if you're
not a Patreon member, I tend to recommend um joining it because um,
this past week we did a few other jar and other present moment went through
other some of the other stuff in this box. Yes, so you can
get all of that, so don't be hesitant to go and join the Patreon
to enjoin our boy Billy Billy needs a Friend. Oh that's the one I
just made you. Yeah, yeah, this is a recent one. Yes,
I I didn't even didn't even check. Yes you're not. I don't
have I didn't have a watercolor. Yeah, I read this one that was
from this year. Yeah, that was from this year. It must have
just it just sitting in here, kind of reselled itself with the glue.
Yeah, okay, asked the answered mystery solve easy enough, what a cliffhanger.
Well, thanks for another year with me, Adam. Well, thank
you. I hope you and I hope you enjoy me. I'm having the
time of my life. Good you so much. All Right, Well,
stay horny, bitches, come back next week so you can hear about our
three We're having a three D, three D three day weekend. It's in
three D, it's in forty it's real weekend extravaganza for our anniversary. It's
a three day event, and I know y'all want to hear about it,
So you can come back next week and hear all about it. Bye,
Stag Horny, Here you go. If you enjoy today's episode of Balled Up
Bitches. Be sure to rate and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast to
join in on more of our conversations and fun. You can follow us on
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write in your sexcapaes anything you want to share with the team at bottled up
Talk at gmail dot com. Cover art for bottled Up Bitches is created by
Winston Gambro. Episodes are produced and edited by Rihanna Campbell and Adam Lewis.
This has been a Cricket Bunny production. Stay Horny Bitches,