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The two cent stamp by Ellis Parker
Butler. The house in Tenth Street where

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Filo Gubb was doing a job of
paper hanging when he made the happy error

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of capturing the dynamiters while seeking the
un burglars was the home of Aunt Martha

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Turner, a member of the Ladies
Temperance League of Riverbank. The members of

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the Ladies Temperance League, and Aunt
Martha Turner particularly, had recently begun a

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movement to have City Attorney Mullen impeached
and thrown out of office, for they

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claimed that while he had been elected
by the Prohibition Republican Party and had pledged

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himself to close every saloon, he
had not closed one single saloon. Aunt

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Martha Turner and her associates believed this
was because Attorney Mullen was himself a drinker

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of beer, and it was to
get proof of this that the hot headed

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Ladies had engaged a youth named Slippery
Williams to make a raid on his home.

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Detective Gubb was, however, quite
unconscious of all this when he proceeded

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to the home of Aunt Martha to
complete his work. There, he was

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in an unhappy frame of mind,
for he had in his pocket nothing but

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one two cent stamp, and he
had immediate need for one hundred dollars.

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Mister Gubb had early that morning visited
the home of mister Meadowbrook, from whom

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he hoped to have news of Cyrilla. But the colored butler informed him that

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mister Meadowbrook had been called to Chicago. He don't left wood. How some

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deva said the butler that if you
come and was willing to pay thirty cents,

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you could have his telegraph what come
from miss Cyrilla, And he left

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this note for you what you can
have, whether you pay or not.

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Mister Gubb quite willingly gave the negro
thirty cents, the very last money he

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possessed, and read the telegram.
It said, hope on hope ever have

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given up wheat bread, corn bread, rye bread, homemade bread, baker's

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bread, biscuit and rolls have lost
six pounds more love to Gubby. This

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would have sent mister Gubb to his
work in a happy frame of mind,

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had it not been for the note
mister Meaderbrook had left. This note said,

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called to Chicago suddenly, I must
have one hundred dollars payment on account

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of the gold stock immediately. Cannot
let my daughter marry a man who puts

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off paying for gold stock forever.
Unless I hear from you with the money

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tomorrow, all is over between us. Such a letter would have made any

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lover, said mister Gubb. Had
no idea where he could raise one hundred

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dollars during the day, and he
saw his promising romance cut short just when

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Marilla was beginning to lose weight handsomely. The greeting he received when he reached

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Aunt Martha Turner's was not of a
sort to cheer him. Missus Turner met

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him with a sour face. No, you can't go ahead with putting the

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wallpaper on this kitchen ceiling today,
mister Gubb, she said, I'd like

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to if I could, said Filo
Gubb wistfully. My financial condition ain't such

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as to allow me to waste a
day. I'm very low in a monetary

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shape right now. Aunt Martha Turner
seemed worried well. She said reluctantly.

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I guess if that's the case,
you might as well go ahead. I

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expect I'll have to be out of
the house most all day if you get

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done before I get back. Lock
the kitchen door and put the key behind

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a shutter. She departed, and
Philo Gubb set up his trestle, unrolled

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and trimmed a strip of sealing paper, pasted it, and climbed his ladder.

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At the top, he seated himself
a moment and shook his head.

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He sighed and picked up the paste
covered strip of sealing paper, but before

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he could get to his feet,
the kitchen door opened, and Snooks Turner

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put his head in cautiously. Say
Gub, where's Aunt Martha, he asked

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in a whisper. He's gone out, said Filo Gubb. She won't be

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back for quite some time. I
guess, snooksy good, said Snooks,

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and he entered the kitchen. Some
weeks before he had met Nan Kilfilian.

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He was deeply in love with Nan, and Nan was a good girl,

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although Aunt Martha Turner did not approve
of her because she was hired girl to

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city Attorney Mullen before she had met
Snooks. Nan had done her best to

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make something of Slippery Williams, who
was courting her then, but that task

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was beyond even NaN's powers. Snooks
held a job on the Eagle as city

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reporter with the dignified title of city
editor, and he was making good.

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He got the news. He seemed
able to smell news. When there was

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big news in the air, he
would become uneasy and feel nervous. I

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got the twitches again. He would
say to the editor of the Eagle,

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there's some big item around. I've
got to get it, and he would

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get it. She's gone out,
has she said Snooks When he had entered

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his aunt's kitchen and asked Philo Gub
about Aunt Martha. That's good. I

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wanted to see you on a matter
of business, detective business. He put

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his hand in his pocket and drew
out a small roll of bills. He

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was not the usually neat Snooks.
One eye was blackened and one side of

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his face was scratched. His clothes
were badly torn and soiled. He looked

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as if someone had tried to murder
him. There, he said, holding

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the bills up to Filo Gub.
After counting them, there's twenty five dollars.

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You take that and find out what
I have done and what's the matter

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with me and all about it?
What do you want me to find out?

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Asked mister Gubb, fondling the bills. If I knew I wouldn't ask

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you, said Snooks, peevishly.
I don't know what it is. I'd

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go and find out myself. But
I'm in jail. Where did you say

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you? Was asked Filo gob in
jail, said Snooks. I'm in jail

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and I'm in bad. When the
Marshal put me in last night, I

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gave him my word i'd stay in
all day today. And it ain't right

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for me to be here now,
dog gone you, snooks, He says,

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you ain't got no consideration for me
at all. Here. I figured

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that there wouldn't be no wave of
crime strike town for some days, and

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I went and took the jail door
down to the blacksmith to have a panel

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put in where the one rusted out. And my wife made me promise to

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drive out to the farm with her
tomorrow. And now you come and spoil

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everything. I got to stay in
town and watch you go on, I

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says, and take your drive.
I'll stay in jail. I got a

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strong imagination. I'll imagine there's a
door. Honor Bright. He says,

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yes, Honor Bright. I says, So he went, said Snooks,

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and he's trusting me, and here
I am you can see it wouldn't do

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for me to be running all over
town when by rights I'm locked and barred

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and bolted in jail. I locked
and barred and bolted in jail, and

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well started on my way to the
penitentiary as a burglar. As a burglar,

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exclaimed Gub. That's it, said
Snookes. I can't see headner tail

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of it. You got to help
me out, Gub, see if you

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can make any sense of this.
Last night I went out for a walk

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with Nan. She's my girl,
you know, and she's going to marry

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me. Maybe she won't now,
but she was going to. She works

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for Mullen. We got back to
Mullen's house about eleven o'clock and Missus Mullen

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always locks the door at half past
ten, whether Nan is in or not,

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so being late, we had to
ring the doorbell and mister Mullen came

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to the door to let Nan in, and when he saw I was with

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her, he shook hands with me
and asked me to come in and have

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a cigar and sit awhile. But
I told him I had to hustle up

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some news for today's paper, and
he let me go. That's how pleasant

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he was. So I went downtown. Then the first fellow I met was

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Sammy Wilmerton, widow Wilmerton's boy asked
Philo Gub exactly, said Snooks, feeling

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his eye with his finger, and
he says, Snooks, did you hear

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what the Ladies Temperance League did last
night? I hadn't heard. I heard

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ma say, says Sammy. But
don't say I told you. They got

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up a petition to have city Attorney
Mullen impeached by the city council. Well

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that was news. I went into
the Eagle's office and called up Mullen.

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Hello, is that Attorney Mullen?
I says yes. He says, well,

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something happened last night. I says, and I'd like to see you

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about it. How do you know
what happened? He says, no matter.

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I says, can I come up
after half a minute. He says,

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oh, yes, come up,
come right away. I'll be waiting

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for you. So I went.
Nothing strange about that, said Philo Gubb,

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shifting himself on the lane. So
I went, continued Snooks. I

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rang the doorbell, and the moment
it rang, the door flew open,

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and Bliff down came a bed blanket
over me, and somebody grabbed me in

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his arms and lugged me into the
house. I guess it was a turning

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Mullen. You know how big and
husky he is. But I couldn't see

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him. I couldn't see anything.
Only every two seconds bump. He hit

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me at my head through the blanket. That's how I got this eye.

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And all the time he was talking
to me mad as a hatter, and

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I couldn't hear a word he said. But I could hear his wife screaming

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at the top of the stairs,
and I could hear Nan screaming, and

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I heard a window go up.
Stop that yelling, says Mullen in a

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voice I could hear. And then
he picked me up again and carried me

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to the back door and opened it
and threw me all the way down the

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eight steps. I chucked off the
blanket and I was going up the steps

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again to show him he couldn't treat
me that way, when Bing somebody next

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door took a shot at me with
the revolver. Thought I was a burglar,

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I guess. I started to run
for the back gate when Bing somebody

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shot at me from the other house. What do you think of that?

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For a few minutes, it sounded
like the Battle of San Juan. And

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I can't understand yet why I didn't
suffer an awful loss of life. But

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you didn't, asked Filo Gub No, sir ree, I made a dive

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for the cellar door just as they
got the range. I stayed in the

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cellar way with the bullets pattering on
it like hail, until the cop came.

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Tim Fogerty was the cop. He
ordered cease firing, and the shower

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stopped, and I let him capture
me. He took me to the calaboose,

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and this morning early he had me
before the judge and I'm held for

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the grand jury and the charges burglary
and pettit larceny. Now what is the

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answer? Being pulled into a house
and thrown out the other door? Isn't

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burglary, said Filo gub Burglary is
breaking in or breaking out? Maybe a

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turney and mistook you for some one
else. Mistook nothin, said Snooks.

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He was in the court room this
morning. He handed the case against me.

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Who's that some one was climbing the
back steps and Snooks made one dive

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for the cellar door and slipped inside. He knew how to get out through

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the cellar, for he was familiar
with it. He did not wait now,

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but opened the outside cellar door,
and, after looking to see that

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the way was clear, hurried back
to jail. Filo Gubb did not have

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time to descend from his ladder before
the kitchen door opened. The visitor was

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Policeman Fogerty. Mornin, he said, removing his hat and wiping the sweatband

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with his red handkerchief. Don't ye
get down, mister gubbsort, I want

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but a word with ye. I
seen Stooksy Turner here but a second ago

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me lookin in at the windy an
you at him conversin'. Maybe he was

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speakin' to ye of his arrest.
He was conversing with me of that occurrence,

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said Philo gub He was consulting me
in my professional capacity, and a

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fine young lad he is, said
Policeman Fogerty, reaching into his pocket.

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I got the devil for arresting him. Twas that dark, ye see,

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mister Gubb, I could not see
who I was arrestin'. Maybe he was

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consulting yee about getting clear of the
charge against him. He retained my detecative

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services, said Filo Gub. Poor
young man, said Fogerty, I'll warrant

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he has none too much money.
Me heart bleeds for him. You'll have

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00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,559
no InVID trailin and shadow and another
detective work to do on the case.

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00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:41,480
No doubt tis expensive work that I
was thinkin. Maybe ye'd permit me to

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00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:46,000
contribute a five dollar bill for the
work, for I'm that sad to have

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had a hand and arrest in him. Foggerty held up the bill and Philo

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Gubb took it. Contingent expenses are
always numerously present in detecative operations, he

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00:12:56,799 --> 00:13:01,279
said. Right ye are, said
Foggarty, And you'll remember, if any

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one asks ye, that I expressed
me contrition for a rest in Snooksy.

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00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,879
Whist, he said, putting his
hand alongside his mouth and whispering. Some

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00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:13,840
one wanted me to search the house
here to see did Snooksy have seven bottles

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of beer and a silver beer opener
in his room. Philo Gubb sat on

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00:13:18,919 --> 00:13:24,320
the ladder and contemplated the five dollar
bill until he heard Fogerty returning. Hist

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00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:31,200
Foggerty said, I did not see
him mind ye Foggerty slipped out of the

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back door and was gone, and
Filo Gubb, after a thoughtful moment,

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00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:39,679
decided that the five dollar bill was
rightfully his and slipped it into his pocket.

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To earn it, however, he
must get to work on the case.

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00:13:43,879 --> 00:13:46,039
He raised the pasted strip of paper, but before he could place the

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loose ends on the ceiling, some
one tapped at the kitchen door. Come

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00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:56,440
in, he called, and the
door opened. Slippery Williams glided into the

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room, his crafty eyes sought finally, Oh, Gubbllo, Gubby, what

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00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:07,240
you doin up there? Where's miss
Turner? He asked? Miss Turner is

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00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:11,399
out on business, I presume,
said the correspondent school detective coldly, And

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00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:18,000
I am pursuing my professional duties in
the detectting line. You are, hey,

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00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:24,360
said Slippery. Who you detecting for
now? Snooks Turner said Philo Gub

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00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:30,039
I'm solving a case for him.
Instantly, Slippery's manner changed from rough,

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00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:35,000
he became smooth from bold. He
became cringing. Why I'm Snooky's friend,

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00:14:35,159 --> 00:14:39,480
he said? You know me and
Snooksy was always chums, don't you,

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00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:43,759
Gubby, Yes, sir, I
think a lot of snooksy, he says,

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00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,039
Slippery, you go up to my
room and get me a bundle of

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00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:50,080
clean clothes. These are all torn
and dirty, and well, I guess

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00:14:50,159 --> 00:14:54,919
I'll get him and get back snooks
is waitin for me. He turned to

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00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,120
the hall, but Philo Gubb called
him back. You can't go up there,

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00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:03,039
said Phile Gub from his ladder top. There's been enough folks up there

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00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:09,320
already. Who was up, asked
Slippery hastily. Policeman Fogerty was, said

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00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:16,440
Filo Gub. What did he find
up there, asked Slippery anxiously, nothing,

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00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:20,159
said Filo Gub. He told me
he couldn't find seven bottles of beer

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and a beer opener. Look here, said Slippery sweetly. If I gave

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00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:30,279
you five dollars to hire you to
hunt for them, could you find them

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00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,080
seven bottles of beer and that beer
opener for me? Straight detective work?

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00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:39,080
Could you? I could try to
find them, said Filo Gub. Well

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00:15:39,519 --> 00:15:43,799
that's all I want, said Slippery. I don't want to do nothing with

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00:15:43,919 --> 00:15:48,080
them. All I want to know
is where they are. Here's five dollars.

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00:15:48,879 --> 00:15:52,559
Filo Gub took the money, all
right, said Slippery. Now you

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00:15:52,679 --> 00:15:56,200
find them. They're upstairs in missus
Turner's bed, between the quilt and the

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mattress. Go find them, Not
until miss Turner comes home, said Filo

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00:16:02,639 --> 00:16:08,399
firmly. It's her house. Why
you long legged stork, you said Slippery.

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00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:14,200
She knows I'm here for that beer
she sent me. I thought you

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00:16:14,279 --> 00:16:18,639
said Snook sent you for his clothes, said Filo, Never you mind who

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00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:23,039
sent me for? What? Said
Slippery angrily. You're a dandy detective,

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00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,000
ain't you sitting on top of a
ladder and not letting a friend of Snook's

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00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,759
help him out. Say listen,
Gubby, everybody's going to get into worse

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00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:34,360
trouble if I don't get away with
that beer. Understand. Come on,

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00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:41,360
let me take it away when miss
Turner comes back, said Filo Gubb.

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00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,919
A new knock on the door interrupted
them, and Slippery glided to the cellar

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00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,879
door through which Snooks had so recently
fled. The kitchen door opened to admit

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00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:55,000
Attorney Smith. He was a thin
man, but intelligent, looking, as

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thin men quite frequently are. Don't
get down, mister Gubb, don't get

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00:16:59,639 --> 00:17:02,679
down, he said. I came
in the back way hoping to find miss

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00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:08,319
Turner. She is not here.
She's out, said Filo Gubb. Too

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00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,960
bad, said Attorney Smith. I
wanted to see her about her nephew.

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You have heard he is in jail. Why, yes, said Filo,

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00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,559
crossing one leg over the other.
He hired me to do some detect ting.

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00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:26,039
I'm sort of in charge of that
case. I'm just going to start

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00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:30,920
and looking it up. Attorney Smith
took a turn to the end of the

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00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:36,240
room and back. He was known
in Riverbank as the unsuccessful competitor against Attorney

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00:17:36,279 --> 00:17:40,440
Mullen for the city attorneyship, and
was supposed to be the counselor of the

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liquor interests. You have done nothing
yet, he asked, suddenly stopping below

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00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:52,079
Filo Gubb's elevated seat. No,
I'm just about beginning to commence, said

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00:17:52,079 --> 00:17:57,240
Filo. Then you know nothing regarding
the articles young Turner is charged with stealing.

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00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,920
Well, maybe I do know something
about that, said Filo. If

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00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,160
you mean seven bottles of beer and
a beer opener, I do Where are

237
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:12,079
they? Asked Attorney Smith in the
sharp tone he used in addressing a witness

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00:18:12,079 --> 00:18:17,440
for the other side when he was
trying a case. I guess I've told

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00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:22,160
about all I'm going to tell about
them, said Filo thoughtfully. I don't

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00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,519
want to be disobliging, mister Smith, but I look on them bottles of

241
00:18:25,559 --> 00:18:27,920
beer as a clue, and that
beer opener is a clue, and they're

242
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,960
about the only clue I've got.
I got to save up my clues.

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00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:37,920
Are they in this house, asked
mister Smith. Sharply, If they ain't,

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00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:44,880
they're somewheres else, said Filo.
Mister Gubb, said mister Smith,

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00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:49,279
impressively. There are large interests at
stake in this case, larger interests than

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00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:55,119
you can imagine. We are all
interested at this moment in clearing your client

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00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:59,960
of the suspicion, which I hope
is an unjust suspicion now resting over it

248
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:03,039
and upon him. I need not
say what the interests are, but they

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00:19:03,079 --> 00:19:08,599
are very powerful. I feel confident
that those interests could succeed in clearing Snook's

250
00:19:08,599 --> 00:19:14,200
turner. Well. I guess if
I was left alone long enough to get

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00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,000
down from this ladder, I could
clear him myself. I didn't study in

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00:19:18,039 --> 00:19:22,599
the Rising Sun Detecative Agencies Correspondence School
of Detecting for nothing, said Filo Gubb.

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00:19:23,039 --> 00:19:29,279
Snooks hired me, and he did
well, said Attorney Smith, heartily.

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00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:33,319
I praise his acumen. I wonder
if I might be permitted on behalf

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00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:37,519
of the powerful interests I represent to
contribute to the expense of the work you

256
00:19:37,599 --> 00:19:42,480
will do. I guess you might, said Philo Gubb, detecting runs into

257
00:19:42,519 --> 00:19:48,720
money the interests I represent, said
mister Smith, taking out his wallet,

258
00:19:48,759 --> 00:19:52,839
will contribute ten dollars, and they
did. They put a crisp ten dollar

259
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:59,640
bill in Philo Gubb's hands. And
now, having shown our unity of interest

260
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,920
with him, young mister Turner,
there can be no harm in telling us

261
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:07,160
where that beer is? Can there? He turned toward the kitchen door,

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for Nan Kilpilian stood there. Her
eyes were red and swollen. Attorney Smith

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00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:18,160
hastily excused himself and went away,
and Nan came into the kitchen. Oh,

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00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:22,799
mister Gubb, she exclaimed, you
will get Snooks out of jail,

265
00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:26,559
won't you. It would break my
heart if he was sent to the penitentiary.

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00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:30,559
And I know he has done nothing
wrong. He is depending on you,

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00:20:30,599 --> 00:20:33,960
mister Gubb. I brought you ten
dollars. It is all I have

268
00:20:33,079 --> 00:20:37,559
left of last month's wages. But
it will help a little, won't it?

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00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:42,200
Thank you? Said Filo Gubb,
taking the money. I cannot estimate

270
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:47,359
in advance what the cost of his
clearance will be. It may be more

271
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:51,440
and it may be less. It
is a complicated case. I am just

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00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,839
about going to get down from this
ladder and start working on it vigorously.

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00:20:55,279 --> 00:21:00,319
If you, he stopped, if
you wish to help us in this case,

274
00:21:00,319 --> 00:21:03,200
miss Kilfilly, And he said,
will you go to the jail and

275
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:08,160
ask Snooks where is the beer and
the beer opener? Where is her?

276
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:14,680
Face went white? What beer and
what beer opener? She asked tensely.

277
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:21,920
Seven bottles and a beer opener,
said Philo Gub. Oh, she moaned,

278
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,480
and he said he didn't do it. He swore he didn't do it.

279
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:30,559
Oh, Snooks, how could you? How could you? Now?

280
00:21:30,599 --> 00:21:33,559
Don't you weep like that? Said
Philo Gub soothingly. You go and ask

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00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,079
him. I'll have my things ready
for my immediate departure on to the case

282
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:41,839
by the time you get back.
Nan hurried away, and Philo Gub waited

283
00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:47,400
only to count the money he had
so far received. It amounted to fifty

284
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,240
five dollars. He slipped it into
his pocket and stood up on the step

285
00:21:51,319 --> 00:21:55,680
ladder. He had even proceeded so
far as to put one foot on a

286
00:21:55,759 --> 00:22:00,680
lower step. When Missus Wilmerton entered
the kitchen, she was a stout woman,

287
00:22:00,759 --> 00:22:03,079
and she was almost out of breath. She had to stand a minute

288
00:22:03,079 --> 00:22:07,759
before she could speak. But as
she stood, she made gestures with her

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00:22:07,839 --> 00:22:11,960
hands, as if that much of
her delivery could be given at any rate,

290
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:15,039
and the words might catch up with
their appropriate gestures if they could.

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00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:21,160
Mister Gubb, Mister Gubb, she
gasped, Oh, this is terrible,

292
00:22:21,319 --> 00:22:25,720
terrible, Miss Turner should never have
dared it. Oh my breath? Do

293
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:30,920
you do you know where the beer
is? I wouldn't advise you to take

294
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:36,200
beer for shortness of breath, said
Philo Gub. Just rest a minute,

295
00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:41,720
but guesped. Poor missus Wilmerton.
I told miss Turner it was folly.

296
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:45,680
She's so stubborn. Ah, I
thought I'd never get a full breath again

297
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,400
as long as I lived. How
can we get rid of the beer?

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00:22:49,559 --> 00:22:53,799
There's plenty that want to take it, said mister Gubb. Attorney Smith.

299
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:59,480
Oh I knew it, I knew
it, moaned Missus Wilmerton. He threatened

300
00:22:59,519 --> 00:23:04,000
it threatened, what asked Filo Gub
that he would find the beer in this

301
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:08,440
house, cried Missus Wilmerton. He
threatened Aunt Martha that if she did not

302
00:23:08,519 --> 00:23:11,160
give it to him freely, he
would have it found here and make a

303
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,839
scandal. Beer hidden in between the
quilt and the mattress of Aunt Martha's bed,

304
00:23:17,039 --> 00:23:22,319
and she secretary of the Lady's Temperance
League. It's awful. Martha is

305
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,240
so headstrong, she's getting herself in
an awful fix. She never should have

306
00:23:26,319 --> 00:23:32,480
had a thing to do with that
slippery fellow. With Who with slippery Williams?

307
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:37,359
Asked Filo Gubb, intensely surprised Aunt
Martha Turner. What did she have

308
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:42,720
to do with slippery Williams? Well, she had plenty and enough and more

309
00:23:42,759 --> 00:23:48,559
than that to do with him,
said Missus Wilmerton, angrily getting bottles of

310
00:23:48,599 --> 00:23:51,880
beer in her bed and robbing houses
at her time of life, and wanting

311
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,319
the ladies temperance lead to have a
special meeting this morning to approve of burglary

312
00:23:55,359 --> 00:24:02,119
and larceny at her age. Now, Missus Wilmerton, said Philo Gub from

313
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,079
the top of the ladder. I'd
ought to warn you before you go any

314
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:08,680
farther that Snooks Turner has engaged me
and my services to detect for him in

315
00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:14,759
this burglar case. If Aunt Martha
Turner burgled the burglary that Snooks is in

316
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,480
jail for, maybe you ought not
to say anything about it to me.

317
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:22,480
I got to do what I can
to free Snooksy, no matter who gets

318
00:24:22,519 --> 00:24:27,440
into trouble, mister Gubb, exclaimed
Missus Wilmerton. Suddenly, mister Gubb,

319
00:24:27,559 --> 00:24:30,400
I'm not authorized to do so,
but I'll warrant I'll get the other ladies

320
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,400
to authorize, or I'll know why. If I was to give you twenty

321
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,920
dollars on behalf of the Ladies Temperance
League to help you get Snookie out of

322
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,839
jail, and Land only knows why
he is in jail, would you be

323
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,759
so kind as to beg and plead
with Snooxie to leave Attorney Mullin alone in

324
00:24:45,839 --> 00:24:51,359
the eagle. After this, she
held four or five dollars bills up to

325
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:56,680
Filo Gubb, and he took them. From what I saw of his eye,

326
00:24:56,799 --> 00:25:00,559
said mister Gubb, I guess Snooks
will be willing to leave Attorney alone

327
00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:03,480
in every shape and form from now
on. Now, maybe you can tell

328
00:25:03,519 --> 00:25:08,519
me how Snooks got into this business. I haven't the slightest idea in the

329
00:25:08,599 --> 00:25:15,599
world, said Missus Wilmerton. All
I know about is Both Missus Wilmerton and

330
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,759
Philo Gubb turned their heads towards the
door. The greater duskiness of the kitchen

331
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:26,200
was caused by the large form of
City Attorney Mullen. He bowed ceremoniously to

332
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,279
Missus Wilmerton, who turned bright red
with embarrassment, probably because of her part

333
00:25:30,319 --> 00:25:33,839
in the efforts of the League to
have mister Mullen impeached by the City council.

334
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:40,720
Attorney Mullen was not, however,
embarrassed. I'm glad you are here,

335
00:25:40,839 --> 00:25:45,319
Missus Wilmerton, he said, for
I wish a witness. I do

336
00:25:45,519 --> 00:25:48,720
not wish to have any stigma of
bribery rest on me. I came here,

337
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,799
he continued, taking a leather purse
from the inner pocket of his coat,

338
00:25:53,519 --> 00:25:57,279
to give these twenty five dollars to
mister Gubb. Mister Gubb, I

339
00:25:57,319 --> 00:26:03,160
have just visited Snooks, so called
Turner, at the jail. I went

340
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,759
there with the intention of bailing him
out, pending the simple process of his

341
00:26:06,839 --> 00:26:11,160
ultimate and speedy release from the charges
against him. I am convinced that I

342
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:15,400
was wrong when I made the charge
of burglary against him. I am convinced

343
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:21,720
that no burglary was ever committed on
my premises, oh, exclaimed Missus Wilmerton.

344
00:26:22,319 --> 00:26:25,680
Not even the seven bottles of beer
and a beer opener, I suppose,

345
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,119
atturning, Mullen turned on her like
a flash. What do you know

346
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:36,200
about beer and beer openers? He
snapped. I may not know as much

347
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,720
as Detective Gub, but I know
what I know, she answered, and

348
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:45,680
mister Mullen restrained himself sufficiently to hide
the glare of hatred in his eyes by

349
00:26:45,759 --> 00:26:52,160
turning to Filo Gubb exactly, he
said, with forced calmness, And perhaps

350
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:56,279
I know more about them than mister
Gubb knows. In fact, I do

351
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:00,359
know more about them. I know
they are upstairs between a blanket and a

352
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:06,319
mattress. I know, Missus Wilmerton, he almost shouted, turning on her

353
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,319
with an accusing forefinger, that they
were stolen from a house in this town

354
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:15,319
by some one representing the lady's temperance
league. I know that burglary was committed

355
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,839
by, or at least at the
behest of some one representing the Lady's Temperance

356
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,119
League. I know that if this
matter is carried to the end, a

357
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:26,640
respectable old lady, a leader in
the Ladies Temperance League, will go behind

358
00:27:26,759 --> 00:27:33,799
bars, sentenced as a burglar.
That's what I know. Oh my,

359
00:27:33,839 --> 00:27:40,160
gasped missus Wilmerton and sank into a
chair. Now, then, said Attorney

360
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,640
Mullen, turning to Filo Cub again
and handing him the twenty five dollars.

361
00:27:44,559 --> 00:27:47,839
I give you this money as my
share of the fund that is to pay

362
00:27:47,839 --> 00:27:52,079
you for the work you do for
Snook's Turner. I make no request because

363
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:56,480
of the money it is yours.
But if you love justice for Heaven's sake,

364
00:27:56,559 --> 00:28:00,160
send word to him to come out
of jail. Won't he come out,

365
00:28:00,599 --> 00:28:06,880
asked Philo Gub. Puzzled, No, he won't, said Attorney Mullen.

366
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,480
I begged him too, but he
said no, not until Philo Gub

367
00:28:10,519 --> 00:28:14,319
gets to the bottom of this case. But should we, as citizens and

368
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:18,759
as members of the Prohibition Party,
permit mister Gubb to land Aunt Martha Turner

369
00:28:18,759 --> 00:28:23,039
in the calaboose? Well, if
what I find out when I get down

370
00:28:23,079 --> 00:28:26,119
from this ladder and start to work
sends her there. I don't see that

371
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:32,640
I can help it, said Filo
Gub. Detecative work is a science as

372
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:37,720
operated by them that has studied in
the Rising Sun Detecative Agencies correspondence School of

373
00:28:37,759 --> 00:28:44,480
Detecating Snook says he don't know anything
about any beer, said Nan Kill Philian,

374
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:48,880
entering hastily and then pausing as she
saw mister Mullen, did you tell

375
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:55,200
him it was upstairs in bed,
asked Philo Gub in his room in his

376
00:28:55,319 --> 00:29:00,000
bed, said Attorney Mullen eagerly.
Why that puts an entirely different aspect on

377
00:29:00,079 --> 00:29:03,880
the matter. That gives me,
as city Attorney, all the proof I

378
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,559
shall need to convict the respectable Miss
Martha Turner and her honorable nephew of the

379
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:14,079
Eagle, And by the Gods,
I will convict them, he glared at

380
00:29:14,079 --> 00:29:19,599
missus Wilmerton. Nan broke into sobs. Unless, he added gently, this

381
00:29:21,079 --> 00:29:26,359
whole matter is dropped. Philo Gubb
took out all the money he had received

382
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:30,240
and counted it, sitting cross legged
on the ladder. I guess, he

383
00:29:30,319 --> 00:29:33,759
said, thoughtfully, you had better
run up to the jail and tell snoosey,

384
00:29:33,839 --> 00:29:37,119
I want to see him right away, Miss Kilfilian, maybe he can

385
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,400
stretch the jail that much again.
Tell him, I'm just going to get

386
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,960
down from this ladder and start to
work. And I want to ask his

387
00:29:45,039 --> 00:29:49,480
advice. What do you want to
ask him, inquired Attorney Mullen, as

388
00:29:49,559 --> 00:29:55,240
Nan hurried away. I want to
ask him about those seven bottles of beer

389
00:29:55,279 --> 00:30:00,839
and that beer opener, said Philo
Gubb. Mister Gubb said the city attorney.

390
00:30:02,799 --> 00:30:06,440
I can tell you about those bottles
of beer. If those bottles of

391
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:11,759
beer came from my house, Aunt
Martha Turner goes to the penitentiary. If

392
00:30:11,759 --> 00:30:15,160
she does not go to the penitentiary, there are no bottles of beer,

393
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,119
and there is no beer opener,
and never were. I told her she

394
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:26,559
had done a foolish thing. Foolish
thing, exclaimed missus Wilmington. Just so,

395
00:30:26,119 --> 00:30:32,720
and it was foolish, said attorneymwen
if it was done, and if

396
00:30:32,759 --> 00:30:34,880
it was done, and Snooks Turner
telephoned, and I thought he meant the

397
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:41,680
burglary, I would naturally assault him. You hurt him bad, said Filo

398
00:30:41,759 --> 00:30:47,720
Gubb. And I meant to,
said attorneing Mowen. All turned toward the

399
00:30:47,759 --> 00:30:52,079
door where policeman Foggerty entered with Snooksy
and Nan. I have done everything I

400
00:30:52,119 --> 00:30:56,279
could to quiet up the matter,
said Foggarty to Mullen, thus explaining his

401
00:30:56,359 --> 00:31:02,400
interest in the affair. I liked
you, said Snooks cheerfully. I'm going

402
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:07,119
to stay in jail. Aunt Martha
Turner interrupted him. She came into the

403
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,759
kitchen like a gust of wind,
scattering the others like leaves, and threw

404
00:31:10,759 --> 00:31:15,200
her arms around her nephew, Snooksy. Oh my, Snooksy, my,

405
00:31:15,359 --> 00:31:18,880
Snooksy, She moaned, don't you
love your old auntie anymore? Won't you

406
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,000
be a good boy for your poor
old auntie? Don't you love her at

407
00:31:22,079 --> 00:31:27,920
all anymore? Sure, said Snooks
happily. A fellow can love you in

408
00:31:29,039 --> 00:31:33,519
jail, can't he? But won't
you come out, she pleaded. Everybody

409
00:31:33,599 --> 00:31:37,559
wants you to come out, dear
boy. See they all want you to

410
00:31:37,559 --> 00:31:41,079
come out, every last one of
them. Please come out. Oh I

411
00:31:41,359 --> 00:31:45,799
like it in jail, said Snooks. It gives me time for meditation.

412
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:51,079
Well, goodbye, folks, I'll
be going back. His aunt grasped him

413
00:31:51,079 --> 00:31:56,960
firmly by the arm and wailed.
So did Nan. But Snooksy begged missus

414
00:31:56,039 --> 00:32:00,839
Turner don't you know they'll send me
to the penitentiary if you go back to

415
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:05,759
that old jail. Yes, but
don't you care, Auntie. They say

416
00:32:05,759 --> 00:32:09,319
the penitentiary is nicer than the jail, better doors, nobody can break in

417
00:32:09,359 --> 00:32:15,559
and steal things from you. Snuog's
turner said his aunt You know as well

418
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:20,839
as I do that mister Mullin will
forgive and forget if you will. Would

419
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:25,160
you rather see me go to prison
suffer? No, of course not,

420
00:32:25,319 --> 00:32:30,160
Auntie, said Snooks, laughing.
But you see, I've hired Detective Gub

421
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:34,079
to work on this case, and
if there's no case, it will not

422
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,839
be fair to him. He's all
worked up about it. He's so eager

423
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,200
to be at it that he has
almost come down from the top of that

424
00:32:39,279 --> 00:32:44,160
ladder. In another day or two, he would come down all the way

425
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,240
down, and then there's no telling
what would happen. No, I'm a

426
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:52,720
newspaper man. I want Filo Gub
to discover something we don't know anything about.

427
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:58,319
I might start in trailing and shadowing
somebody that hasn't anything to do with

428
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,799
this case, suggested Philo Gubb.
That wouldn't discommode none of you folks,

429
00:33:02,839 --> 00:33:06,759
and I'd sort of feel as if
I was giving you your money's worth.

430
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:10,000
Somebody has been writing on the front
of the Methodist church with black chalk.

431
00:33:10,519 --> 00:33:15,119
I might try to detect who's done
that, but that would be a very

432
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:22,359
difficult job, said Snooks. It
would be some hard admitted Philo Gubb.

433
00:33:22,359 --> 00:33:27,400
Then you ought to have more money, said Snooks. Aunt Martha ought to

434
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,519
contribute to the fund. If Aunt
Martha contributes to the fund, I'll be

435
00:33:30,599 --> 00:33:35,319
good. I'll come out of jail. Aunt Martha opened her shopping bag and

436
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,839
fumbled in it with her old fingers. Filo Gubb took from his pocket the

437
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:43,440
bills he had been given during the
morning. He counted them. He had

438
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:49,279
exactly one hundred dollars, just enough
to send to mister Meadowbrook. How much

439
00:33:49,279 --> 00:33:53,160
should I give you, mister Gubb
asked Aunt Martha tremulously, and Filo Gubb

440
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:58,400
stared thoughtfully at the ceiling for a
few minutes. When he spoke, his

441
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,359
words were cryptic to all those in
the room. Well, ma'am, he

442
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:07,759
said, I guess ten cents will
be about enough. I've got a two

443
00:34:07,799 --> 00:34:14,800
cent postage stamp myself. Ain't Detective's
wonderful whispered Nan clinging two Snook's arm.

444
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:20,639
You can't ever tell what they really
mean. Nobody seemed to care what Filo

445
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,559
Gub meant, but a week later
Snook stopped him on the street and asked

446
00:34:23,599 --> 00:34:30,119
him why he had asked for ten
cents for to register a letter, said

447
00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:38,760
Filo Gubb, A letter I had
to send off, and of the two

448
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,880
cents stamp by Ellis Parker Butler