Tape Deck Media and welcome back to see you at the Potty Richta. We
are going to continue our coverage of Arnold's twenty thirteen vehicle, The Last Stand.
I am one of your hosts, Joseph beck Castro. Joining me as
always is Aaron Frescas Hello, and Christopher Chapman. Hey, it's me,
it sure is. Today we are going to be joined by a special guest.
He is a stand up comedian, the host of Panel Picks, a
new podcast about comic books. He is the owner of Tape Deck Media,
so technically he's our boss. Yeah, so give a warm welcome to Dan
Booblitz Junior. All right, give a warm welcome to me because you have
to, because I'm the boss apparently. Yeah, We're all very scared and
our best guest ever right off the bad that's amazing. Even though he sounds
like an eighty year old man, he's he's still the best. It's true.
I do sound like I'm eighty or older. I just want the people
to know that this is not my normal voice. I'm just doing this voice
for this podcast. Get some authority. We're technically the worst on the network,
so he sounds way better on all the other podcasts. He wants to
suppress us to improve the other podcast on the network. So exactly, it's
all, you know, I can't have every podcast on the network be good.
I gotta have some you know, we gotta have some standards. You
can't have the highs if you don't know where the lows are. Yeah,
I want to ask you a bunch of questions. I want to have them
answered immediately. All right, So before we get into the summary, we're
gonna ask Dan some arn' op questions. So take it away, erin.
Okay, Hey Dan, how's going It's going great? Great? Okay,
I'm the awkward one, by the way already. So, uh, do
you have a favorite Arnold movie? I mean I have probably a lot.
I feel like I'm a lot older than you guys, so I've been on
the Arnold train for a while. I've really I always really appreciate his comedies,
So I was always a big fan of Twins Kindergarten Cop probably two of
my favorite I tend to be lean more towards comedies being a comedian myself as
well, so I would say those are probably two of my favorites Arnold movies.
I think Twins because we read the movies at the end. But I
think, is it Twins number two? Right? Twins is second? I
think, okay, like Repelo running Man so, which is basically a comedy
too, I think running Man's number one. No Predators up there now,
No, I don't know. I don't know. I have to look,
but not even on their ten minutes and I've already got them fighting podcast over.
Well. The funny thing is Predator would be number one, but I
kind of pissed off Aaron, so he really would have been number one,
though I would I knocked it down like a half a thing, but like
I still was. I realized when Dan said that I'm much more like partial
towards his comedies too, because uh, running Man is basically a comedy,
yeah, essentially, and I'm pretty sure that's number one. But anyway,
do you have a least favorite one that you don't really a the like or
you're just like, eugh, that one was not good? Oh man,
I'm trying to think, Ah, not really. I mean a lot of
the movies he's put out, probably in the last like five ten years,
aren't I mean, there's a lot of them that aren't that great. Yeah,
it just feels like he put him out to put him out. Yeah,
before this podcast, I easily would have said Batman and Robin and now
it is fucking sabotage by a fucking file which have a comment about later.
How do you feel about and Robin being a comic book person. I was
not a fan of those. I like the first two. So when it
comes to the Batman movies, I really like the Tim Burton the you know
Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Robin. One of the things I really didn't
like about that one and Batman Forever were the marketing they did with it.
Like there was a lot of like McDonald's commercials, yes, and I was
like, oh, that's kind of funny. And then it was actually in
the movie and I was like, ah, how long most movies came out?
How old was I? Yeah, as ninety four and six, I
believe ninety four I would have been Oh god, that's a lot of math,
like fourteen or fifteen, okay, sixteen six, fifteen, fourteen sixties,
I don't all a long time ago. Yeah, like thirty years ago
almost, yeah, just about almost. No, it's two thousand and four,
yeah, oh god, twenty four, it would be if it came
out in ninety four, that would be thirty years. Oh yeah, oh
yeah, damn right. Okay, it's crazy because like I remember being super
stoked on Batman Forever, like, and I actually that's rewatching him. I'd
say returns my like probably the best one. But I really like Batman Forever
because I was twelve, but I think at a couple more years because I
watched Batman and Robin when I was fourteen, and I was like this movie,
Like at the time, I was like, this movie sucks. Batman
Forever is one of the only one of like two movies, maybe three movies
that I walked out on. Sorry, I didn't walk out, but I
wanted to. Wow O bad. The only reason I didn't is because I
was on a date with who became my first wife. But otherwise I would
have walked out, okay, and that's why it didn't end up working out
right exactly, right, yeah, I mean first life. It sounds like
you should have walked out. I avoided that, right, Maybe I should
have, but lessons learned. So did you not watch Batman and Robin in
the theater? Then? I don't remember. I'm sure I watched Batman and
Robin in the theater because I mean that was a time when move I mean
you watched movies in the theater or you waited until I came out on vhs,
Yeah, because DVDs weren't quite maybe they were just starting to come out.
Okay, last question, have you seen have you seen this before?
What you watched it for this pot the last dan before you watch it for
this podcast? So I feel like I did because it seemed very familiar.
But then there's a lot of movies that have this same vibe, like this
kind of small town country, blunken law enforcement type of thing, big,
you know, criminal coming through kind of thing. So maybe it's just a
plot of a bunch of movies like this, these B rated movies. But
I did feel like I watched it before, but I couldn't say for certain.
It's it's like Joe mentioned last time, where they just immediately bring you
up with Walking Tall, because that's basically, yeah, this is the vibe
I got. I got it was it was like a kind of a combination
of Walking Tall and the chase. I'm not familiar with the chase. The
chase is a Charlie Sheen that Chris Christie Swanson. Yeah, he's like he
like, uh, you know, he's in a car being chased. Obviously
I can't remember the whole plot, but like he takes a hostage and then
kidnaps her, right yeah, and she wants to be on the Yah.
She's a falling for him, Yes, she falls for him, yep.
But that kind of because of that element of you know, the main villain,
you know, using the car to try to escape or whatever. So
it kind of like reminded me. It was like a combo of both those
movies. So there's actually that makes me make another connection the video game Fallout
New Vegas, my favorite game. There is a song that's playing at the
very first scene of this It's Blue Moon and it was made famous by Frank
Sinatra. But that's sorry real quick. Is it just like the Blue Moon
that everybody knows, right Blue Moon? Or is it a yeah yeah yeah,
but it's it's a cover yeah soundtrack. This movie takes place partly in
Vegas, but also the most famous song on Fallout New Vegas is Big Iron
by Marty Robbins, and it's kind of the same theme. I guess story
plot of this movie. You know, like the sheriff and then you know
he's got the big iron on his hip and country red and he's got to
stop him, and every rethinks the Sheriff's gonna die, but he doesn't spoilers
for the song. But yeah, so that he just made that connection.
Now, all right, well, I guess let's throw it over to Chris
the summary cool. So we begin late at night on a deserted highway nine
miles outside of Vegas, where an extremely stupid cop eats his doughnut while a
magic car blows by him at nearly two hundred miles an hour. And I
say it's a magic car because it makes fucking no noise till it's like one
hundred feet hit from him, despite the fact that it's going two hundred miles
an hour. I just think that's insane. By the way, quick note
up top, was it just mir or did this sound for this movie?
Did you guys watch it on HBO Max? Okay? It sucked, like
yeah, I mean that I'm deaf as hell, but the dialogue volume was
so low that I would have to turn it way up, like higher than
I normally do, which was super fun when any action seemul happen because it'd
be like explode out of the speaker. It blows out your speaker. I
mean I take that for granted as like all movies. Now, I feel
like that's literally everything I watch. Okay, it just it was way more
on this movie because I could not hear it even on my computer. Because
I I watched the remainder of it on my computer. I was like,
why is my my volume was all the way up during the dialogue and then
I would have to kind of turned down. But anyway, Yeah, but
how stupid is this cup where he's like, dispatch, you know how the
jets usually travel around like five hundred miles an hour, Ye call the FA
because tell him there's one traveling two hundred miles an hour and flying on the
ground for some reason, a fucking moron. I love how he like looked
at the radar and he was just like, yeah, I'm not even gonna
try. Yeah, Like his first instinct isn't to like, you know,
go into a chase, it's to get out of the car and like look
around, you know, and then call dispatch. Well that is because he's
driving a very shitty Ford Cruiser in that car is very fast and amazing Chevy,
so yeah, exactly, only morons drive forward. Yeah right now,
yeah, well, I mean, did you guys watch this movie. Oh
I got a ton of shit on Chevy, so I don't worry a sponsor.
All right. So now we move to Somerton, Arizona, and meet
Arnold's sheriff Ray as almost the entire town's population is headed on a five hour
road trip to watch the high school football team play. Arnold has a conversation
with Mayor Schmuck, who treats Arnold like his personal valet before hopping on the
bus, and also pervs out on the cheerleaders as they walk to the bus,
which I did not notice the first time around, but I watched it
like four times, and he is checking those cheerleaders out as they walk behind
Arnold. Huh oh the mayor. Yeah yeah, the mayor. Also,
I did not realize that was the mayor. I thought it was just some
random douchebag that like tosses him like that he talks to No, I'm all
it's the mayor. Yeah, okay. Also, he parks in the fire
zone but there's like literally no other cars. It's like, dude, just
move your sweet Chevy Camaro fucking thirty feet. There's a whole literally, nobody's
there. The entire street is open. Why that one particular spot because him,
he's the male specifically to be an asshole? I mean, what does
that say about Chevy owners? All right? My only note here was that
this is like the status parade. Ever, although I've never lived in a
small town, so maybe this is like a normal prey, like a little
parade for a small town. I guess. I don't know, man,
they had they had the high school band and the cheerleaders. I don't know
what else the small town has. True and the football team I think was
yeah, that's yeah, because they're the ones leaving. Also, like I
guess it's the mayor. But my only another note before I realized it was
the mayor was man, you think Arnold being former l a PD, he
wouldn't let a minority get away with something like that. Yeah, that's his
boss, man, Okay, I mean not technically, I mean technically,
yeah, I guess he's. And then it's the county. Yeah, he's
the mayor of the city. So usually that's what happens in small towns is
they don't have their own police force they use like the county sheriff. Maybe
it's also one of those things where he like owns half the town too.
I'll there's another story off. I don't know. Yeah, I thought maybe
I missed it. I don't know, but I thought he was a pastor
for some reason, because I thought he said something about seeing you in church.
Oh no, I think he just said see you on Sunday because that's
where they're supposed to come. I okay, And I guess I just I
just gave him the pastor by because he was being a douche and some pastors
are. So maybe that was just me. That was me projecting. I'm
just going to assume he's all these things. He owns half the town,
he's the mayor and the local pastor and complete bag. Let's see next.
Arnold visits the town diner and scopes out some truckers with suspicious faces and even
more suspicious accents. When the truckers leading a hurry, Arnold grabs their plate
number, and I just I love Stormmaers Peter Stormyer's accent. He's playing like
the main lieutenant bad guy. I love his accent because it swings wildly between
almost pulling off a Southern drawl and being entirely indecipherable, like like barely speaking
English. He's he's such a great villain too. Oh, I fucking love
him, like all his like mannerisms and shit so good. He's such a
great actor. I thought it was funny though, because literally the only thing
that made them suspicious is they weren't from town, which it happens in a
small town. And had they had he not been like kind of a dick
to the sheriff, he probably once't have been suspicious. Yeah, was he
a dick to him? Not? I mean not necessarily a little bit,
a little bit like he was very arrogant, like he was like, oh,
and the second Arnold talked to him, he called for the check,
which like, yeah, like loudly called himself. Also, I don't know
I had this the first time. How did he know he was the sheriff
just because everybody was calling him sheriff or probably okay, yeah, okay,
that's a good question because he wasn't really wearing a uniform. No, he
definitely he was wearing boat shoes. Yeah, you're right, it was his
day off. He didn't pay for his coffee. He just like left,
so yeah, that's he didn't even drink it. He took a but yeah,
that was one thing I thought was funny is that if, like I
said, if they want to have made themselves look suspicious, he went.
He was just like, oh, welcome to town. Drive safe, and
then they were like check please, yeah, we got criminal activities to go
to. Next, we meet more of Somerton's super cops as they're doing some
weapons testing with the local munitions expert aka shooting big s guns with head jack
Ass Johnny Knoxville. Arnold pulls up right as Officer Jerry gives himself a recoil
nosebleed and tells Officer Luis Guzman to run the truck's plates, and Knoxville kind
of tells him about his gun museum that he's got going on, which is
like kind of a sweet racket. It seems like he's opened once a month
or twice a month and gets to own all those guns and it's all like
tax free or whatever. Wait, do you have to pay taxes on guns?
I don't think it's tax free. I think he pays tax or tax
returns or whatever on them to function as a museum, so that allows him
to Oh so he keep all those Yeah, I guess it's more for the
legality of it, less of the tax. Yeah, the museum part is
just so he can have them, okay without being illegal, because I'm sure
having all those a lot of those guns would be illegal, especially that vickars.
Yeah, and like a damn was saying, like he mentions this is
when he mentions that that Peter Stormer wasn't happy to see him, and like,
my note was they seem fine. I know they're not fine, but
say didn't really give him reason to suspicious. But I'm actually at this point
actually created my own backstory where part of the reason that Arnold left the LAPD
is because he couldn't get the racism part of the job right, Like he
kept harassing white people instead of minorities, and they're like, what are you
doing and he's like, well, he's like, I'm from Europe. We
have a whole different kind of racism anyway, all right. So we then
see the truckers pull onto a local farm to start some kind of operation,
but farmer Harry Dean Stanton is having none of it. He threatens to shoot
Peter storm ayer, but then gets half his head blown off instead. I
don't understand on that because like they were already there when the truck showed up,
So like how like if people were already on his property that he didn't
want on his property, why didn't he already like call the police or or
he doesn't have a phone like a phone until the semi came, but their
whole crew was already there. Yeah, he doesn't seem to be the kind
of guy who like they can be like, hey, if you just wait
five minutes, our boss will show up. He'll explain it. They'd be
like no, fuck you, Like what the fuck is Yeah, So I
don't know what they were doing. Also, I don't understand why they need
to meet at the farm, Like what are they doing? Maybe it's next
to the oh, because I think that's I think that's what it was to
build that bridge. Yes, maybe, yeah, I think they needed the
property. But then they have to drive out to the canyon anyway. I
don't know. Man, Well, I mean they had to go through it,
like you know, the cornfields and everything. As we see at the
end of the movie, that's all his farm. So it's just a straight
shot. Yeah, But they didn't even like you thought, you think that
they would have made a route through the cornfields though, Yeah, I don't
need to be even more pissed, like you need him to still allow you
on his property. Taken building, Well that's true. After he's dead.
Yeah, after he's dead, then they then they build it on his property.
But then they have to deal with But then they had to deal with
Arnold's. They're like, oh no, we don't have time to make the
route through the cornfield because we had to deal with this son of a bitch.
But hardy and stand, what else was he in besides Alien? Because
everybody loves that guy. But for life of me, I couldn't think of
anything else he was in besides Alien. I mean, he's in a lot
of stuff. I know he was in the Avengers, but that's it's like
way after his the Farmer. Oh, I don't know who was he in
the Avenger? Oh? Was he just the guy when a janitor when the
Hulk landed in that building. So it's just a bunch of a cameo's name.
Yeah, I mean I know he used to have a career in like
the seventies and eighties. That's when he was really like actor kind of made
me feel sorry for like, it kind of made it hard to feel sorry
for him when he dies. When he goes from like zero to firing a
gun within like ninety seconds of talking to dude and right at his feet where
I'm like, yeah, I was like, oh man, they shot him
good because like I don't know anyway, go ahead, anyway, Aaron likes
when old people get shot, all right. I was just gonna say he
had some major green Acres vibes going on his tractor. It's the place to
be, God damn it. Next we cut to the police station to meet
Officer Lady Siff from Thor and her ex boyfriend slash prisoner slash Officer Jerry's BFF,
also known as Frank. I just like the quick This is a quick
little exposition dump in order to learn he was in the military. Just it
was done in an okay way. Yeah, it's all right, It's just
like yeah. Also, I have him noted as in the notes as Franklow
because it's Palo from Lost to You but whatever. Later that night, Officer
Jerry goes to Arnold's place to let him know that the plates came back clean
and to beg Arnold to help him transfer to LA, where Arnold once worked
in the Narcotics division of the LAPD. It was around this scene where I
started to feel like Officer Jerry was not long for this world. That's all
awesome, just because he was like begging to go to LA. And yeah,
because he's a because he's kind of a dipshit, Like I don't know,
he seems like the innocent dip shit. Yeah, when he walks into
the police station that like I've noticed this last time I watched it, and
I was like, man, you're just like laying it on thick. This
guy's this guy's not going to surviving trips when he walks it. Yeah,
well and not to mention, you know, because he's like, sure,
I guess I'll help you. But like, would you really want to help
somebody that like shoots a gun and almost breaks their nose? Yeah, you
know what I mean? Like that that's another them, Like he doesn't have
like he barely has small town sheriff abilities. You really want to like send
him to his death in LA because he ain't making it no matter how many
how many good words you put him, he might not make it to LA.
No, I want to see training Day with this guy instead of it.
Instead, we can talk Denzel and Jerry. It's like the three Stooge
in his meets training Day. Just all right. Now we go back to
Vegas. At three thirty in the morning, FBI agent Forrest Whitaker preps a
huge team of agents for a top secret prisoner transfer where they will be moving
Gabrielle Cortes a cartelp Us to await the death sentence. I love how well
when when he first gets introduced for first, I'm like, okay, so
this movie has a pretty good cast, you know. Yeah. I mean
I'm like, wow, this is a really good cast. Now that now
that Forrest Whitaker drops in, But I love how he welcomes them all there
and he's like, thank you guys all for showing up like they like they
were just like, you know, it sounds fun getting up at three thirty
in the morning to transfer this you know world or telp Us who like almost
certainly is going to have somebody try to break them out. Yeah, exactly.
They're easily putting their lives, which is why they're doing it. At
three things, we love coming to work at three point thirty in the morning
for a high risk mission. Yeah, I live for that. Yeah.
But he was very kind about it. It was very nice. Hey,
that's just a good bought. I mean, yeah, never mind, that's
why they're there. They probably did volunteer for it. And he's like,
who wants to ship? Who's working? Forced Whittaker Force Winker is gonna be
there, acclaimed Oscar Winter Forestker go Stock himself. Oh my god. Stuck.
All right, So Cortes is put in a van and a convoy of
Feds escort him down the streets of Vegas until a giant magnet grabs the van
at a stop. And I'm confused why they stopped? Was there a light?
I there was. I don't know if there's a light, But even
if there was a light, this is the kind of thing that you run
lights. And I think they realized that because there's like a line that they
added over the walkie talkie where they're like stopped at point Alpha, awaiting like
go ahead, And I'm like, who's go ahead? Are you waiting for?
Forrest Whitaker is in the car, like, why has anybody stopped?
I don't know. It's also great that he's like we're gonna do this one
under the radar, and then they roll out with like fifteen fucking government vehicles.
It's like that doesn't look under the raider at all. Like if I
saw that going on the street, I'd be like trying to get the fuck
away from that. They have sirens on time. Now, the sirens were
not on notably, but still it's a convoy of fucking Yeah. So a
giant magnet grabs the van, Cortes kills his guard, as a masked woman
riding the magnet keeps all the Feds at bay with a single machine gun,
and the van is moved to a nearby roof. That was my note.
I'm curious whose choice it was to put the only female member of the extraction
team in all leather, Like that's what I was like once the first time
I saw that and I was watching with Eric, I was like, that's
that's definitely a female. Yeah, why because she's in unless this whole team
is in all leather, because that would actually make sense for that character.
He's like, no, no, no, I want everyone to be dressed
in leather when they break me into leather. But yeah, but once you
see all the restauran, and I'm like, okay, yeah, that's okay
whatever, that's how you tell them apart. I don't know. And this
is a small dumb thing, but like they have this giant ass magnet on
the van that picks up the keys and sticks them to the roof, picks
with the gun and sticks it to the roof, but somehow his chains don't
go flying towards the roof. I don't know. I just thought that was
dumb. But uh. Anyway, as the Feds head to the roof,
Cortes and his men zipline across the street dark Knight style, where he changes
out of his prisoner clothes and they get a car. During their escape,
they run into two Feds, killing one and taking another hostage, while the
rest of the FEDS are chasing down various guys in orange jumpsuits that just appeared.
And I love how incompetent all the cops are up to this point so
far, Like across the board from armed side and this side, Like when
the first running prisoner they tackle with that guy, and how force Whitaker doesn't
immediately recognize that the dude that they tackled it's obviously wearing a tracksuit because it
has big white stripes down the sleeves instead of a prison jumpsuit. Yeah,
he does not realize they haven't the wrong guy until he flips him over.
He sees his face. He's like, I think that's it. He's like,
no, that's the wrong guy. Also, all these decoys they don't
even look that much like the prisoner, Like, no, they're just wearing
orange. That's all just vaguely wearing orange. Maybe they just have a his
whole team just has bad eyesight. And then you've also got a to hammer
home that he's a bad dude. He has to deliver that you have a
baby on the way. Huh, just you know, and the dude.
Yeah, Which this is when I I kind of suspected that the lady went
because he went out of his way to find them, Like he had the
car. They weren't even close to catching him. They're in the alley,
and then he pulls in on him, so like he Cortes pulls in on
on the agents. Yeah, it wasn't like they were in pursuit of him.
He comes out with that in that car and then shoots the one up
the eye agent, and then takes the other one hostage, and I didn't
suspect anything because all the cops in this are make it domb, so I
had a suspicion. I was like, well, that that's an odd thing,
Like why would you go out of your way to do that when they
weren't even close to where you were? Yeah? Yeah, oh yeah,
because they were like across the street. Huh yeah, they were like across
the street. They went to a different building. And then he pulls in
to the alley, comes out and gets him to put his gun down,
and then shoots him. This movie really pulled one over. So sweet action
sequences notice, so uh, let's see. Then we cut to the FBI
head back at FBI headquarters where Forrest Whittaker is interrogating the guy that he tackled
in the orange jumpsuit. He has an entire room full of guys in orange
jumpsuits and they basically try to interrogate and the guy's not telling him anything.
He's he's very clearly been paid off by quartets. Oh yeah, sorry.
I was like, f w for Whitaker for across where country to Dutch people
come from. The dude answers and his lawyer translates at his arm hurts from
where Forest Whitaker grabbed him, but it definitely heard a Pendejo in there.
Oh, there was definitely yeah. Yeah, so I have hey, hey,
I had a Joe translated. Yes. I was like, hey,
let's get the white out to do it. Yeah. So he speaks better
Spanish than me, but it's still pretty fucking broken, so I had to
use Google translation. When they they're asking about like why he's wearing that,
and he's like something like I'm going to Nana's team or what something like that,
Like you said, it's pretty broken. And then the other thing is
when he does call him Pandejo, he does mention something about his arm,
like he wanted to see my arm or Pendejo grabbed me by the arm or
something. So okay, so he is complaining at that point, but he
just calls them. Yeah. That sentence was so short. I didn't think
he had time to say what the guy in turn, like I thought the
guide was just making fun of Forrest Whitaker the whole time, and his lawyer
was just making sit up. Now it's kind of on point. Like you
know, if you're trying to speak a language, you only know some words,
you know, you're like, uh, dun't dayeca. You know you're
missing the dunda style biblioteca. You just say dun day like where where library?
You know, he's kind of saying it in that way. Yeah,
he does mention that, like if you were listening or if you spoke Spanish,
she would know I was barely speaking it. Yes. Yeah. Also
like his excuse for being out a four in the morning, He's like,
it's Vegas, bro, come on, point there square. I really wish
he would have just been a random person though, Like I really wish he
would have just been on his way to play soccer or whatever it was that
he was saying. I really wish all twenty of those dudes had just been
randomly wearing orange. Yeah, they were going to the same they're going the
same game, they're all playing, they all they were all in the same
team. They just got done. They played and then they raged and now
it was time to go home. Or they're you know, soccer heapens in
Europe, it's on in the middle of the night. They all could be
like running to go to the bar exactly Vegas. And you know, if
they're all like Latino or Mexican maybe the Dutch team is playing like a Honduras
or something, and they're like, oh, you know, fucking Durists like
rooting for uh for Holland. So we're that's why we're all dressed like this.
They all own all teams colors and they just wear whichever one is.
Got to show your rooting interest, you know, even if it's not your
team. I don't know. Hate watching sports is just as fun as watching
the teams you like. Can be just as fun. Yeah, Like when
I'm watching playoffs and it's like Texans, I'm like, I don't care about
either of these teams, but if it's like Chiefs Texans or something like oh
go Texans baby all day, yes, like get decked out and Texans shit
and like all that other stuff. So same thing with baseball and the Dodgers.
Whenever the Dodgers are playing them, like in the playoffs, I'm like,
oh, come on, like come on, the other just the other
team like fucking run over them. But yeah, anyway, all right.
So about an hour later, Arnold gets a call from the diner to tell
him that Harry Dean Stanton didn't do his normal milk delivery, so clearly he
must be dead, and Arnold sends a cop out to his farm to check
on him. Yeah, right, well, And I think it's funny too
that of course in a small town they put that on it that the farmer
just supplies everything. Yeah, like the local restaurant, Like that's the food
supply chain. He gives them the milk, He probably gives them the beef,
He probably gives them all like he is the supply Yeah. Is Arizona
a good place to like grow corn and have cattle? Like? I don't
know, No, I don't think so, especially that near the border to
Mexico. I don't know, it's too deserty, too hot, I think
for a lot of crops to grow there. And same with like cattle,
I don't think. I don't think cattle. You know, a lot of
cattle isn't meant for Yeah, I feel like you'd spend so much money on
like grazing, right, grazing around. Yeah, maybe he's just a really
good farmer. I mean, it'd be great if he was just outsourcing all
of his product. It's just like regular ass milk from Maybe that's why he
is the supply chase, the awesome and awesome farmer he's the only one that
could farm in Arizona. Yeah, we go back to Vegas. Now.
Security cam footage reveals that Cortes has taken his hostage agent Ellen Richards, and
gotten into a stolen supercar that was taken from an LA Auto show recently.
So they start a search for the extremely recognizable like modern Corvette that he's driving
Chevy Corvette forget sorry Chevrolet Corvette. Yeah, usually goes around seven hundred horsepower,
but this one's special has around one thousand, so you know, super
awesome. Yeah, but like the plot seems to hinge on Cortes wanting to
be chased like they had such the escape plan was so elaborate, and yet
they didn't bother to like disable the cameras in the parking garage where they knew
they were going to change out cars. I don't know, So I thought,
like, if you're going through all that, because obviously they have money,
because it would have took a lot of money to pull this off,
Like there's a lot of resources that went into helping him escape, why not
just fly him back? This guy's gotta have flare for the dramatic, Like,
this guy loves this shit. Flew his car away. Why not just
keep going? Why did he have to jump a canyon forrest? Whittaker tells
the guy to set down all the airports. But I feel like the cops
are so slow. He would have gotten out of the airport before that happened.
He was already. I think he could have so helicopter and got him
from anywhere. Yeah. Well first, Whittaker also says that he thinks he's
untouchable, like the Quarteze. He's untouchable, and he's super arrogant and whatnot.
It's all ego, Yeah, which is very helpful to all the cops
in this scenario. We then see Cortes blow through this just piss poor checkpoint
that they've set up with some fancy driving, and he makes his way out
of town. As back in Summerton, Officer Jerry and Lady Siff break into
the farmhouse to check on the old man. I love that he has driving
gloves. What a fucking door that for that? An asshole? Yeah.
Now on the highway, Cortes engages his car's magic powers to leave the cops
chasing him in the dust. And there is nothing funnier to me in this
entire movie than when they try to impress me with how fast the car is,
and and they don't even respect my intelligence enough to like give me some
bullshit about a nitros tank or something. They just like he shifts into gear,
the actors slam their heads back into the seat, and then I'm supposed
to be like, oh, it's fast. Yeah, it's a Chevy Corvette.
Uh, that's been super iced. Chevys are great. Come on,
didn't you watch them now? I gotta be honest, My biggest thing with
this movie was trying to believe that they could get a Chevy to go that
fast. That car is as fast as I mean, no, no,
it's it's it's yes, but that car like they did choose a special like
a specialized car, which what Joe looked up was correct and had like what
did you say? A thousand horse power? Yeah? Wow? Well they
they as the one guy said, they traditionally have seven hundred, but this
one's been modified for a thousand. Yeah. So, uh did they mentioned
it mentioned that it was stolen, right? Yeah? They did. They
that it was stolen from an LA Auto show a couple So at this point,
Cortes calls agent Force Whitaker to tell him that if the Feds try to
stop him from get to Mexico, he's gonna kill Agent Richards and a whole
lot more people. And then at the same time, Arnold also gets a
call telling him that Harry Dean Stanton was murdered. Force Square should have been
like, I'll tell you what. You stop the car and turn yourself in
and I'll pretend that you're not talking on the cell phone while driving. Come
on, but is that a lot everywhere? Is that just California? I
mean there are some. I think it's a state to state dang, Okay,
just curious, but I think there's like quite a few of them that
are hands free now. So the cops then set up another very light roadblock
to stop Cortes, but he sees it coming. He sees it coming,
so he calls in the plow king to shoot all the cops and slam the
cop car roadblock out of the way, leaving only a helicopter to track him.
And I cannot again, I cannot emphasize enough how shitty these roadblocks are.
It's one line of cop cars with they have like five other cop cars
that they could have lined up in front of and behind, but they just
chose to not. Also, why not where were the tire spikes? Like,
if you were like, if you were really trying to stop somebody,
you need to, you know, take out the car. First thing I
would do is roll out the tire spikes. Well, there's two things with
this. One they're using shitty Ford cruisers and two you think tire spikes are
gonna stop a badass Chevy. Come on with firestone tires on him. Come
on, I forgot it. I forgot it. Where whatever the forgot?
It's actually a hovercraft because it goes two hundred miles per hour on the ground.
Exactly forgot it probably doesn't have wheels. Back in Sumrton, Arnold checks
out the crime scene and determines that the murder is definitely something more than just
a simple robbery gone wrong. I also find that this is funny here because
like, okay, so they murder him and then they go through all that
work to put him Like it's a whole farm and apparently there's like a canyon.
There are way better spots where you could dispose of a body that is
so true, in his house or anywhere in the cornfield, how long would
it take to find that body in the corner actually when there's only like four
law enforcement offices. Yeah, that is truly the dumbest place they could have
put him. Well, oh, let's just put him in the house.
Nobody will look in his house for him. He's missing. Even the criminals
aren't very smart in this. But yeah, that's true. Yeah, we're
not telling his deputies not to touch anything. Was great, but like,
as they're touching stuff that's solid. The first time I watched it, I
thought it was only Jerry that was touching stuff. Yeah, she's down by
the body, uh, and I not would you say that Arnold kind of
plays a straight man in this, Like he definitely has funny lines, but
so far there definitely using him to set up silly situations for like at this
point for the deputies. Yeah, I mean he's like the mentor, like
dad type. He gets to be funny, but more of that dad joke
kind of way. And then follow a question, would you guys consider him
the straight man in most of his bigger movies? Because they started thinking about
it, And I know his movies aren't straight comedies, but like of them,
like his most well known ones, kind of lean lean towards it.
I'd say with the exception maybe Twins and Batman and Robin, He's has the
more serious role in them. Yeah, like true Lies, Tom Arnold is
a comedic relief exactly most of the time, the silly person is his sidekick,
yeah, or kindergarten cop the kids doing all the way Twins I mean,
because I'd say with Twins, he's the he's the comic, and then
Danny Veo is a straight man sort of like he's like the making all the
jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I don't know that that one's
harder because that's that might be more traditional kind of on that one. But
well, then I was thinking about his other movie with Danny Vito because it
gets kind of weird, and I know we haven't watched yet, but from
what I can remember, in Junior, he's the straight lace one to start,
and then Danny de Vito's the comic leave until Danny de vito impregnates him,
which sounds like I think is what happens. Uh, And he starts
acting like he only turns into like the comic group because he starts acting out
of character because he's pregnant. Yeah, he starts acting at a character like
oh, look at Arnold. He's like, look a through, my hands
are so soft. Yeah, and I think it's the same thing with last
section Hero as well. Danny's pretty much the straight man, while Arnold is
a parody of himself, like the Danny character the Kid. Yeah, I
suppose that's true. I think part of this comes from though, like it
wasn't like I think now it's intentional, but it wasn't always. I don't
know if you guys watched his documentary, but because not yet. Okay,
So I watched the documentary and he kind of talked about some of this,
like like I can't remember what movie it was, but delivering some of the
lines it was hard for him because of his English and and and his accent,
and that it was kind of an accident, like the way he delivered
lines. But they was the Terminator, like with I'll be back and I
will be back and yeah, he was arguing with James Cameron. Yeah,
I think it was okay. Yeah, Well that's why I was gonna say
the weird one of the Terminator movies because they started off super serious with the
first one, but then it seems like once James Cameron gave him a few
funny lines and Terminator two. The writers of the rest of them ran with
it and like slowly turned turned him into the like the franchise comedy relief.
Yeah. Like three, he's a little more funny genesis. He's like straight
up like he's the joke. Yeah, and then they try to get a
little more serious with the last with the last one, but yeah, a
little bit anyway, but yeah. Back on the highway, we find out
Cortez's hostage is actually a trader being paid three million dollars to help him escape.
And then we see Cortes trick again, the dumbest helicopter pilot in the
world using a highly advanced driving technique that you might know as slowing down breaking
Like, what the fuck. It's a helicopter. They can hover, they
can go backwards, but they decide, Yeah, instead, they decide to
make this huge loop and lose him on the highway. It's fucking insane.
It's like you you don't he has nowhere to go. Also, how many
highways are there out there that you would It's like, wait, he was
going this direction on this circle back and to same highway. Also, he
didn't have to do that to lose the helicopter. They've already established that that
car can go faster than any helicopter. Well, I don't know. Okay,
this might be one because I was drinking when I was when I watched
this, when I wrote this note. But Cortes saw something on a screen
that made him change course. Correct, Like, he looks at his screen,
see something and then decides like, ah, And then I thought I
didn't I didn't notice that. But okay, Like it seemed like he was
looking at his GPS and then so why did he break just to lose them?
Yeah, he just wanted to get rid of the helicopter. That's okay.
I thought he saw something on the screen or maybe he saw where he
was about to be in lost. I don't know anyway, Yeah, I
don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But from here, the FEDS
send some reinforcements to Cortes's most likely border crossing and to Somerton on the off
chance that he will try to cross the narrow canyon into Mexico. There,
Whittaker calls Arnold to warn him, and Arnold decides that it must all be
connected, and he tries to tell his cops to back off. The trail.
Right as they discover some kind of construction project. A firefight breaks out
between the cops and the construction crew, in which Jerry gets shot multiple times,
and just as he's about to get killed, Arnold pulls up and saves
them and then drives away as the bad guys shoot the empty patrol car with
a rocket. Yeah. So that Chevy Silverado truck that he has, it
just takes a lick and it keeps on ticking. Meanwhile, that shitty Ford
cruiser just blows up. It just takes one lazy rocket losser and blows up.
What a piece of shit, all right. That's I didn't realize the
truck was a Chevy. Now. What's even funnier to me that they shot
the empty cop car with a rocket. That's oh yeah, and it was
a Ford yeah too, So oh yeah. It was like, you know,
there's going around and they're like zooming in on this Silver Odo part and
everything. I really like this action scene though. Yeah, the whole scene
was super good. I really like it. Eric did point out that when
we watch this back, like the first time we watched it back in like
two and thirteen, when Arnold breaks his window with his elbow. She's like
the window was broken before he hits it, and really, yeah, if
you watch it again because she noticed it again, it's it's not broken.
But they they shattered, like they shattered the glassohole he had to do his
chat, Yeah, so it would fall apart. Yeah, but it's just
a quick cut. But also so also I don't know about guns, but
Louis Guzman shows up begins firing at them with a shot him from like two
hundred yards away, which I was gonna say it was dumb if video games
have taught me anything, because you know, shotguns are like exactly, but
that's video that wasn't shootout though, yeah it was. Yeah, he shows
up, well, no, he shows up at like right at the end
of like he shows up as right after Arnold shows up, and he's shooting
a shock but because Arnold has one too for some reason, I don't remember
that, he doesn't even he doesn't hit anyone, though it doesn't seem like
no, maybe he's just providing cover. It just seems like cover fire.
But yeah, I don't know, but I'm just gonna go ahead and add
this to the worst cups ever builed. But yeah, he shows up at
the end for just a second to provide cover, and then they both drive
away. I guess. Yeah, So Jerry dies on the way back to
the station, where Sif and uh Frank Low mourn, which what why are
you taking him back to the station? Did they go to the well did
they go to because I didn't rewind it the last thing they go to the
station they go to Okay, so they don't go to the hospital first.
So Donald pretty much decides that this guy's fucked. I don't do they have
a hospital? Like? Is that the implication here that they don't have a
hospital? I don't know, because I was wondering that when I watched it
last time. It seems like Arnold thinks he's alive until I don't know,
the look on his face when he's when they're driving and she's like hurry and
he's like yeah, maybe he just knows he's dying. I don't know.
This This scene Alsobody realized that this movie definitely gets a little bit of the
best of both eras, like as if that makes sense, like as far
as like the goofy be action movie Field that made oh yeah, his older
movie is good. But then like the scene has a little bit of like
that somberness or whatever that he seems to be leaning towards with this. And
he's a better actor now, so yes, for sure he's he's doing some
pretty decent face actor. Yeah, with like Maggie, you're Aftermath, you
got to show up? Though, have you seen any like which? Which
post governorship movies have you seen? Oh? God, I don't know.
I'm sure there's a I mean, I would have to think about it.
Maggie was a zombie one. I don't think I've seen Maggie. Okay,
that one is good. It's it's it's it's like, it's not bad,
decent, it's just not my kind of movie. I don't. I don't
think anything about it was bad, but like it just moves a little slow.
For Yeah, it's a straight drama like which is disappointing. If you
go in like a rad Arnold and zombies, Yeah, sabotage is not good.
Then you've got the term near movies. And then I don't think we've
seen after Math also after after Yeah, after Math is said another straight drama.
It's it's good though, yeah, it's it's it's good, but it's
so bleak it's so like not what you go to an Arnold movie for.
But yeah, again, but you go in with what it They make it
seem like. So basically what happens is his family dies in a plane crash
because of an air air traffic controller fucking up, basically, and from the
trailer that you watch, it makes it seem like Arnold's gonna get some fucking
revenge on it. Yeah, that's not how it turns out at all.
I mean, it's not how. It's just it. It's sad. Yeah,
it's just said. But again it's it's it's entertaining. His dramatic movies
are very bleak. Yes, yeah, it's probably the right word for it.
I'm not selling them. Well no, sorry, I'm looking to see
because now I'm like curious. I'm like, well, what movies has he
been in since? And now you guys got me wondering. I'm like,
what movies have I seen? And haven't I seen? Have you seen either
of the Terminators? Well yeah, but you said Post Governor, Well no,
those are the gis. Oh no, I haven't seen any of the
newer ones. Sorry. Genesis is good for the first time you watch it.
Dirk Fate was entertaining, entertaining. I don't know, they're post Cameron
Terminator movies. They're entertaining. But yeah, he only had like five maybe,
yeah, I'm just looking at these. I don't you know, I
might not have seen this might have been the only one now that like,
I'm looking at it and I'm like, nothing since like turning her three?
Yeah, nothing, nothing's ringing a bell? All right? Oh no,
okay, I take that back. The only thing I've probably seen since he
was governor was expendables, Okay, that, which was what two or three
or something like that. All right. So, so as day breaks,
Arnold calls Force Whitaker and tells him that Cortes is definitely crossing in Summrton and
that his men are building some kind of temporary bridge to cross the canyon.
Once again, the worst fucking cops like was his response to him telling him
that Cortez is going to cross, just mocking him. Oh yeah, really
bro okay, yeah, is he just like like a mobile assault bridges?
Was so implausible for this hyper dramatic villain with that obvious flair for like wanting
to do like the most dramatic thing ever, And what reason would arnold have
to fucking lie about it, Like what what would that accomplish? Yeah,
I don't know. So. Whitaker then calls the SWAT team that's headed for
Somerton to tell them about the bridge, right as Cortes is pulling up behind
that same SWAT team and proceeds to use his magic car to take out two
SWAT SUVs, escaping with only a scuffed paint job. And this scene is
fucking amazing in how insanely stupid it is. Yeah, but it got what's
her name's Panny? So wet? Oh god. He he speeds past the
two SUVs, flips around, shifts into reverse, somehow maintains a speed.
Am I am? I dumb? Isn't reversed just like one gear? Like,
yes, there's no way you can go as fast as you were going
before in reverse, right, you'd just be redlining? I assume, yes,
I think so, I don't know. I last so unless you built,
Like if you're going in reverse, if it's a manual, you could
throw it in neutral, and the momentum from already going fast, you could
use the momentum that would be mike. But still even then it's gonna start
downshifting. I think, yeah, but then he again He's so now he's
out in front of the two SUVs going backwards. He slams on his brakes.
The suv swerves to try and avoid him, but instead it's tire.
Basically, his car turns into a ramp, yeah, which he flips the
suv. The other suv crashes into it, and again. He then turns
around and keeps going. And the only thing that's wrong is the paint on
his hood is like kind of fucked up. It's got like a tire track
on it. Jesus, I you're gonna say that, Jesus God, damn
it. H just don't get it. So Arnold finds out that the SWAT
team isn't coming now, which is very because that's gotta be like that.
That conversation must have happened like three minutes after the last conversation he had with
Forrest Whittger. But the SWAN team isn't coming, and he resolves to stop
Cortez himself. Sif and Frank Low volunteer to help him, and Louis Guzman
reluctantly agrees, pointing out that they are severely outnumbered and outgunned. Yeah,
poor Luis Guzman got peer pressured into joining them. Yep. Also, when
Frankoff heard his help, I was like, don't do it. You heard
Nikki Pelo lies, Pello lies. Come on, don't do it. It's
just funny to me. Anyway, Force Whittaker suspects a rat. Now he
orders a financial investigation of everyone on the case and then hops onto a plane
to get to Somerton as fast as possible. But Force Whittaker's acting in that
when they're leaving the airport is like pretty much all his acting in anything that's
not in Summerton is for a completely different film in this one. Oh yeah,
he's in a fucking Michael Mann movie exactly like it is. Just it's
crazy, it's so much more dramatic. The scenes are also in have a
blue tint to him too, Yeah, like all his scenes, where as
the Summer tunes are all like the war, like a warm yellow color to
it. But it's just this was when I realized it. It was like
a man compfferent movies. He makes sense because he's not with the rest of
the fucking like they basically are shooting a totally different movie. Yeah, yeah,
we get a little hard to heart between Lady Siff and Arnold because she
was scared during the firefight, and he tells her that everyone's scared. During
the firefight, Arnold and the gang head to Knoxville's Gun Museum for some more
firepower, and then they all head into town to set up a blockade on
Main Street and make sure that the raymate that the remaining citizens are out of
harm's way. I love how like and not just like just movies in general.
How Like when they put the plan together, it goes so quick,
like he's almost there. Yeah, but they have all this time to run
out, get guns, puild a plan together, build all this stuff,
and it's only now it's like, what five of them? Four of them
this time? The timeline of this movie is in like they're getting a lot
done for this small like small amount of crew exactly. And when he does
going to the diner to tell the people to evacuate the diner, what is
it like six thirty in the morning. I think Homeboy back there is like
cracked a Coors late, Yeah, cracking a gold one at six thirty.
That's retirement, Okay, Yeah, he does say, He's like, yep,
it's like I'm seventy year old years old. I'm afraid of nothing.
Also, going back to the when he tells people in the cafe, I
assume they're the only people left in town. Yeah, kind seems because that's
what it seems, because everybody else apparently went to that that game. But
I love when they're like, oh, yeah, we're we're not afraid to
death, blah blah blah blah. He I would have been like, well,
I'm severely out gunned here have a weapon. Like, just like,
how nobody in this town really seems to respect the sheriff. That's true,
I'm good, okay, And like that's not gonna get fixed either, because
only like six people see him being bad ass. Yeah, so the rest
of the town's gonna come back and keep disrespecting the shit out of him.
Yeah. We cut to the bridge construction crew as they gear up and head
into town, where Lady Siff is now posted on a roof with a sniper
rifle and Louis Guzman gets stuck behind a car in the middle of main street
because he's still setting sit up. When the bad guys arrive. The the
diner waitress comes waltzing down the street so Guzman has to give some cover fire
to save her, but then becomes the target of another rocket. So Luis
Kuzman gets blown up with the rocket, but he emerges from the smoke and
sends the bad guys running with a Tommy gun before getting sniped from another roof.
Lady Stiff takes out the bad guy sniper as Arnold and the rest of
the crew pull up in a school bus, bust open the emergency exit,
and lay down some suppressing fire with a gatling gun before positioning the bus as
a barricade. So the beginning of this scene with Luiski's mound just makes it
very obvious that this is basically a Western, with like how they pull up.
Yeah, they're all in like a line basically, Yeah, they all
line up, yeah, like as they're walking with this, which what I've
said this director has like his last movie was basically it was basically a western.
Yeah. Western. Yeah, Yeah, And it feels like a Western
because it's like a small town with a big main street and that's where all
the action's happening. In a desert. Yeah, in the desert. Yeah.
But the behind the scenes stuff that I watched there, they pretty much
all the actors call him the director. I don't know if I mentioned it
in the production episode, but he doesn't speak English, but he can understand
English, so he has a translator throughout the whole thing, but he can
understand them. But I feel like there was like a disconnect, like he
didn't really wasn't able to connect with them because they all refer to him as
the director, which it was weird, but I was like, if that
makes sense because it also shows a scene with them where he's basically they they
had a relationship with the translator. Yeah, so they because they were all
like talking to the trans basically like talking to the translator and whatnot. But
they it was all it was. There wasn't like a lack of respect thing,
but it was just like a disconnect where they weren't really everybody was communicating
directly with Yeah. Yeah, but uh but they all had like super nice
things to say it, like they were all very praising of him. But
anyway, my other comment was, man, why are Tommy Gunns so cool?
Like is a design like absolutely, you put a drum magazine on anything
and it's instantly like it at least forty I don't know, it's just like
like it's it's all. It just always looks so cool though, even those
dumbass pistols with drum magazine. I also thought it was funny going back to
when they were planning and they went to get the guns. I forgot this
that when they got the big machine gun for the boss or whatever, and
you know it's like a string like a coil type of gun, but they're
am all that they're getting for its just single rounds that they're dumping in butts,
And I'm like, how are they loading that? Yeah, well when
they when they go back to it, he has the like the like yeah,
but most of them, but yeah, when they're when they are like
getting it, getting a bunch of single ammal they're putting they're dumping in boxes.
Maybe that was another thing where they're like had to like put the AMMO
in the belt or whatever. Like that's another thing where you're like, oh,
there's not time to do this. That's what they were doing while Louis
Kuzman was getting shot the belt al So that sniper just turned Figgie's arm into
pudding, which I remember when I was drinking and I could not stop laughing
at I could not stop laughing out when I wrote it as a drink,
but it is not funny now it's pretty funny stupid. Oh my god,
alright, god damn it. So from here we enter an extended firefight.
So I'm just gonna lay out some highlights and you guys can let me know
if I miss anything. Arnold pushes a guy off a roof, shoots him
in the head, and then uses him as a landing pad. That was
probably my favorite of these kills right there. That's amazing. Frank Low and
Lady Lady Siff double team of guy on the stairs and get really turned on.
Yeah, my note on this is nothing like gun death and violence to
get an American right after your best friend died. Oh my god. Let's
see Knoxville explodes a guy with a flare gun. That was another again,
amazing, those fucking love that this dude with a bandolier is running away from
Knoxville. He shoots him in the back with a flare gun. All his
bullets start to go off in different directions, and then he just fully explodes
it like it hit the dynamite part of his bandolier. I don't know,
uh. And then a nice old lady blows away a bad guy to save
Arnold, and it has like one of my favorite lines, which is after
after she kills the guy and Arnold looks turns around and sees what she did.
He he just looks at her and goes oblige. I love that.
That's amazing. Arnold kills storm Mayre Peter storm Mayre on the bus with Knoxville's
big ass gun, but fails to stop Cortez as he blows through the town.
Did I miss anything in the firefight? I don't think so. Okay,
Now Ronald shoots him through the uh, Peter Stormer through the head like
a straight shot, but the blood splatter goes up on the ceiling. Yeah,
I think we're meant to believe that that thing like really blows the back
of his head out, Like yeah, it's but yeah, yeah. He
does say a line after that, which is welcome to summer ten. But
yeah, like there could have been a lot better. For example, you
know this happened to the school bus. You know, it could have been
like school's out or dismissed something along those lines. It's not a tum calling
it back. I like that one when he he at one point gets hurt
and jumps into the diner, and the diner ownter goes, how are you,
sheriff, and he just gets up and goes, old, that's a
decent line. I love that they're just like still just like basically hanging out,
just hanging out, eating breakfast, just another day in summer ten.
They're not even like down, They're still in their stools. Yeah. I
also really love when Knoxville gets dragged in there after he gets hurt and they
ask him what the hell are you doing here? And he gets up all
excited. He's like, I'm a deputy. That's just really funny to me.
He also looks so happy when Onnold's firing them that the Nazi killer.
Yeah, he like has this like smile on his face, like he's laughing
like maniacally, just looks so happy. So Cortes gets through town. He
then kisses the horny FBI trader before he pushes her out of the car and
heads through a cornfield toward the canyon. So he only did that because he
still wants to as a mole. Correct. I guess I think he just
wants to get rid of her and her job is done now because he's so
close to the border, and he's like, fuck you. I mean,
I'm sure he would keep using her as a mole if it was like a
possibility. But yeah, I think he just is giving her a fuck you
okay, like she'd still be complying after being thrown out of his car.
He's like me, and it lose that dead weight, so the car could
exactly. So he's driving through the cornfield. Arnold pops out of the corn
in Mayor Schmuck's Camaro. Sorry, Chevy Camaro, because only a Chevy can
dig down and other ship. But a Chevy Camaro, that Chevy Camaro compared
to that Chevy Corvette. That's all, are you kidding? I just it's
not believable. It's not. Also, the other thing that I find entirely
unbelievable is is there any chance in hell that a racing tuned supercar would survive
driving through a fucking cornfield. I mean it's a Chevy. Well, I
mean I don't see any sports car doing that. Yeah, but on the
ground, Yeah, have you ever I don't know if have you guys ever
been in a cornfield? Like no, that's something like yeah, it's because
yeah, because with the rods are and then usually from previous crops or whatever
they're ship on the ground. Like it's like every ground is all like unstable
and it's hard to even walk through a cornfield. Yeah, but anyway,
Uh, let's see the two cars fight for a minute before losing each other
in the corn and then stopping in another one of my favorite scenes as they
try to hide from each other. That's good. I love that, like
sneaking up on each other by driving. Yeah, exactly, It's it's like
the raptors in the tall That's exactly what from Last World. Anytime I'm playing
either The Last of Us the Second one or hit Man two, when I'm
going through the grass, I'll be like, oh, yes, just like
a Velosa raptor and sneak up on people and like like when I'm trying to
kill him and like trying to make the noises Like anyway, I'm a little
kid. Sorry. So Cortes makes a break for it, but Arnold slams
him into what I can only assume is a magic tractor because it finally kills
the magic Corvette and Donald turns Arnold's Camaro into a convertible and maybe it's a
Chevy tractor. Maybe that's the Yah just made me think of that scene from
or Sorry. I was watching The X Men cart to the other day.
It's like, we're like, tell Cyclops that made him a converted yep.
Anyway, perfect. Oh. So Cortes gets out mostly unharmed and makes his
way to the bridge on foot, but finds Arnold in his way, And
this has got to be another one of my favorite lines. Cortes goes,
you fucked up my car, and then Arnold goes, you fucked up my
day off. That's a good line. Cortes tries to buy off Arnold,
but it's not gonna happen. So they fight, with Cortes trying all sorts
of tricky mma shit, and Arnold counters this by being twice his sight when
he was at the beginning of the fight. Arnold Donald takes off his jacket
and his like Batman utility built or whatever he's gone on. Yeah, and
I was just hoping he would have continue and taken off his pants as bad,
because that's his character. Fights that oils himself up and also like another
reason why he ended up getting kicked off the lapd. He cannot keep doing
that. Then I'm going to someone where I can't do it. He does.
He's like, you know, uh, give me your bank account or
give my guy your bank account number. It's like, who the fuck knows
their bank account number? Right? You know, hold on, let me
get pulling out. You know, I left my check book in my truck.
Sorry, I don't have the app. I don't trust him with my
information. Also, he he fucked up because he called him grandpa, so
he activated his grandpa strength. So lost should have done that. Oh so,
near the end of the fight, as he's losing, Cortes stabs Arnold
in the leg, but Arnold stabs him right back, and it seems to
hurt way more when Arnold stabs him. That's because of the difference in muscle
mass between there's more velocity, and then Arnold got all the way to the
bone, more impact. Yeah. Then Cortes tries bribery one more time,
but it does not work. Uh. The FBI arrives to clean up.
They take Cortes and the trader into custody and give props to Arnold. Just
as Mayor Schmuck returns to see his destroyed car, and we get a freeze
frame of Arnold, Lady Siff and Frank Low walking into the diner. I'm
actually surprised they didn't turn into a full in comedy when like when they arrest
Cortes and the and the FBI gal just like with him arguing in the back
of the paddy wagon like Harry and Marv or something like that. Yeah,
exactly. I got a few notes about this. Arnold slams Cortes into like
a bridge and it's got the little ramp part at the end or whatever,
Like, how the fuck is he not paralyzed? Yea, this is slammed
back. Yeah, and it was like right on his back too. Yeah.
For some reason I thought this was funny, but I now that I'm
reading it back, it's not. But I'm gonna say it anyway. So
like was like you're under the arrest in on top of a bridge. I
don't know, See, it's definitely not funny. And then not even what
it means top of the bridge. Yeah, he's exactly crooked. FBI chick
should have got her money in crypto, not just fucking like right into a
bank account in her name. And that Camaro, the Mayor's Camaro Chevy Camaro
man. It took the licking and just like you guys, knocked off and
right through the cornfield and it was just still running. He was able to
drive it back with him attached, and that still looks pretty sweet. Drove
it all the way back to town. I really wish it would have been
more of a licensed to drive situation where he would have brought it back,
but it was on a truck and totally rude because that would have been,
you know what that douchebag needed. But then had it parked there, it
would have been even better if it was part still parked in the fire zone.
And when he comes back, the Sheriff's just like, oh, I
told you, all right, And that's the end of our movie. So
now we get to move on to everybody's favorite segment. Joe Namath. Now
we're going to do something extremely fun. We're going to play a wonderful game
called who is My Daddy? And what does she do? Yes? Take
it away, Joe, all right, So we are going to start out.
We have a costume designer named Michelle. Michelle that sucks. She should
change that to like Michelle squared or something Michelle, and then like Michelle,
well, m I c h E L E for a first name, and
then M I C H E L for the last name, so it could
be right, it's like or Michelle Michelle ye something like that. Yeah,
Cohen who. I don't know who that was and I forgot to look it
up. He was played by David mid Thunder, which is just a awesome
name. And then a stunt double was Angelique mid Thunder. So there's another
stuntman, Richard King, or it's I call him Dick King. Our department
production assistant is kill one you like, I'm gonna kill one of you.
Set dresser Dave Thomas David Thomas, so yeah, so that's why he retired
from the business. Speaking of career changes, we got a special effect for
person Chris Klein, so I guess once it's acting dried up, we have
I don't know if this is the same person. You can answer this one,
Chris, but we have a construction for person and a lead our technician,
your dad, Steve Chapman, So I don't know if he's doing double
time on this movie or there's just two Steve Chapman's, which I don't think
that's legally allowed. I think there's only one. So daily colorists, which
is Duck Grosberg and uh ye. Lastly, we have a visual effects supervisor,
Tang Bing Bing. And that's all all right. There was only one
name I noticed in the credits, which is music was by Mog m O
d w G. Who I looked up. And the reason he's named Mogue
is because in the early in the nineties everybody thought he looked like Mowgli from
the Jungle Book. Ye, the live action Jungle Book that had just covered.
They're not wrong. He looks like Jason Scott Lee, so you know,
okay, uh yeah, and he he is a composer for the director's
other movie or something like that, right, I think, oh really,
yeah, I didn't I think so? And uh yeah, let's go into
I don't know, let's start with kill count. Have you ever killed anyone?
Yeah? But they were all bad? Okay. So I actually know
what it is because I because it was in the trivia. So it's it's
all you guys, and it's just trying to guess. Dan is just trying
to guess how many people how many people died in the movie, oh man,
and how many people died in that movie? Yeah, okay, let
me let me think, Joe, you gotta guess I do. I am
going to say thirty five. Okay, I'm gonna I think that's a little
low. I'm gonna go with forty three. You know what I'm going in
the middle. I'm going forty Oh shit, Okay, we're gonna get sniped.
And like I said, I accidentally saw what it was and I think
it's forty Yep, it's forty four. Oh closes without going over nice.
I gotta go that one I where it lists them all. Yeah, yeah,
that was I can't with that cool missus Salizaw obliged put the herd on
away. Okay, let's move on to everybody's favorite lines. Who has a
favorite line for us? I almost picked Obliged as my favorite line because the
delivery is so perfect on that one. But I'm actually going outside of Arnold
on this one because Peter Storm Mayer when they are attacking the town has maybe
my favorite line ever. I don't know which one was it. He is,
it's him when Luis Kuzman is hiding behind the car, he goes,
look at that squirrel in his big motherfucker hat. He's got a lot of
like just those lines when the when the when the girl walks up, he's
like, what does he say? Like? Look at me? He said,
look at that ass. I could kill for that ass. As he's
gonna shoot her as he's pulling out of his gun. I was like,
okay, Jesus, but yeah, look at that squirrel in his big motherfucker
hat. I love that. It's a dumb one, but I really like
the scene when he's trying to clear out the diner and the guy I'm hany
years old. I am afraid of dying. But my favorite was when he
looks at the own, the diner owner, and he's like, I just
put their eggs on. It's like I'm cooking, Like I don't remember the
exact line, but it was like I just started cooking those eggs. That's
not happening. I haven't burned a breakfast yet. I'm not It's not like
the farmer's gonna come bring us more eggs. I can't waste these. So
the one where he's like, you fucked up my day off, that was
a good one. Ye also tells him like you make us immigrants look bad.
Oh, But I think my favorite line is after he knocks the guy
off the roof and shoots him in the head while going while falling, and
then they cut to it when he when he's back and he's rolling over and
he's just like the fucker rolls out. I thought that was pretty great,
So I'm gonna go with that one. Yeah, nice, I gotta go
with old when old. I don't know that line got me. The one
I left laudistone was for sure was the the uh, you fucked up my
day off, But that old one just got me. I don't know.
Anyway, Moving on, before we get to the irons pumped, how about
we get Asa toumuls play little total recoll. What do you want, mister
quay the same as you to remember, open your mind, open your mind,
and all it is is seven random trivia questions from the movie we just
watched, and the first one to get three correct wins. So the rules
are Chris starts reading the questions and whoever knows the answer Kim buzz in using
your name as the buzzer. Oh, I just say Dan, yeah,
So keep him on. The second you buzz in, he'll stop reading the
question. So make sure you don't listen to enough of the question. But
Anyway, we're all set, all right. Question number one, what does
Peter storm Mayer claim to be hauling in his truck Joe Joe out of parts?
That is cool? Did you with that a guess? Did you actually
remember that kind of remembered it? I wasn't like one hundred percent sure on
it. But that's like a weirdly specific guess for just guess. And remember,
I'm gonna have to skip that one. You motherfucker's ruined that question.
Let's see what it was. How many horsepower does the magic have? Yeah,
seventy if you if you had just said one, if you had just
said it once, I might still use it. But we said it like
five times. Well, I think I should get that. I knew that
one too, all right. In what sport did Frank receive a full college
scholarship? Joe track and field? God damn Joe always wins this, by
the way, last time. To be in my defense, I watched it
while I was sick, so like I wasn't I was there. But not.
Also in your defense, these are all dumb questions. Uh, what
soccer team is the decoy Cortes wearing the colors of Joe the Dutch national national
team. No, you said national, no, disqualified. I almost said
Joe, that's what I hesitated, And I was like, Joe, if
I say someone else, is there works right? Yeah, definitely, all
right, Joe wins. I don't want to know what the other yea,
God damn I knew that anyway. What is the name of Johnny Knoxville's big
ass revolve Aaron? Oh fuck, I was thinking of Vicky, but uh,
it's not Gabriellelle. It's I don't know, Joe, Georgia, Georgietta.
Oh so close, yeah, Georgia, Yeah, Georgietta. What is
the name of Johnny Knoxville's truck Henrietta Aaron, Joe, Joe, Yeah,
it's Henriette. And then there's another one that was Ethel right, No,
it's what is the name of Johnny Knoxville's big yes, gatling gut Vicky?
There was there not that I remember now. I love that happen. Quiz
was just about Johnny. I gotta be honest with you. I was gonna
try and catch Joe and to make him think he knew which name I was
going to get, and I was actually going to say the other thing.
Was that all that? No? No, No, there's a couple.
No, there's one which was just in the big drug bust that caused him
to leave La. How many squad mates did Arnold Blues? Joe seven seven?
I was going to say, Joe had you guys? Yeah, you
guys were hose no matter what he like, actually watched this movie. I
forgot there was gonna be a quiz. I didn't take enough. I forgot
too. I didn't realize there was a remember ship, all right, Joe
wins. When the big Man was killed, you must have wounded it.
It's blood, wasn't the leaves? If you pleads, we can kill it.
All right. We are gonna move on to rating this movie. We're
gonna rate it on a scale of one to five. Irons pumped. And
yes that doesn't really make sense now if you think about it too hard,
But just just fucking go with it, all right. Just remember this is
on a scale of one to five. Just Arnold movies, because if it
were just all movies in general, they'd probably all be five's, even Batman
and Robin because it has Arnold in it. So hey, Chris, what
what do you got? All Right? Uh? This movie was extremely dumb,
but it doesn't waste your time. It moves nice and fast, and
I appreciate that it has. The third act is super fun with that big
ass shootout is pretty great. I think it's got like it gives Arnold enough
cool factor. It's got. He's pretty fun in it, and he's got
some jokes. There's pretty decent lines. He does a decent amount of action,
I think the I think my only real problem with it is that it
needs like a much more compelling villain to move it up into like the higher
echelon of Arnold movies. Right, So I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm
gonna go three point five. Oh okay, yeah, if no one else
wants to go, go ahead. They don't really make these type of movies
anymore, which is a shame because I'd say this is one of his like
the most fun of his movies so far from the like newer movies we've seen,
definitely of the newer movies. But uh, there's like scenes in it
that, like that flairgun scene has it's some of my favorite of his,
like like the kills and stuff like that. But anyway, the kills are
the set pieces I think I think took this move for granted the first time
I watched it, because it definitely has like the feel of an Arnold movie.
But it was also the first his first one back, so I just
kind of assumed that things would return back to normal as far as movies that
we were start getting what we got before he left, because you had like
T three and then the Sixth Day and in a Day is and this movie
fits right in with those. I'd say, I've never seen a skate Plan,
but which was his next one, but like after that comes Sabotage and
that was just the worst. But anyway, and I'm curious if he uh
noticed that his old style of films weren't profiting anymore, because I think we
said that this one wasn't profitable. I don't know how skate Plan did,
but he an event like eventually, so he just started picking roles that he
thought might be a little more like modern or something like that. Like maybe
that's why we got Sabotage and Maggie, But it's not like it. Those
aren't typical Ornald movies. But this movie is what I want the new Ornald
movies to be because it understands what makes it seems to well, yeah,
it does understand what makes the old ones so good. Yeah, it doesn't
execute perfectly, but it definitely, like you said, it gets what they're
trying to do. Yeah, and like Chris said, the pacing is is
great on this, Like I feel like a director that we've seen, like
someone that takes himself a little more seriously, like uh, David Ayer or
something would have included those scenes of Arnold in la just to make stuff a
little grittier or something like that, which I was gonna say would have been
cool to see, but it would have killed the pacing of the movie.
So I liked how fun it was. The villain was fine, I guess
I don't know, but everything else was good. I'm definitely going as well
three point five with this. So yeah, Joe or Dan, Yeah,
you pretty much said exactly what I was gonna say. It is it's fun.
You know, it's kind of arnoldy, but he is like getting older,
So I think this was like a good transition to like the older him,
where like it's it's pretty believable that you know, like back in the
day like Commando and Predator and everything, Like you got absolutely yoked Arnold and
you're like believe that he's you know, a badass in the movie verse.
You know, like, yeah, you wouldn't expect him to do like commando
shit in real life, but you know he's like a little older and a
little wrinkler year and not just like unbelievably yoked in this movie, so like
he can still kick ass. Uh. So I think it's a perfectly cromulent
movie and I gotta give it a three. All right, damn, what
did you think of this? All right? I thought it was snops kidding
right away, Like I thought, okay, so as soon as it started
with a car in the cop and the cop is just like I'm not even
trying. Like I was like, okay, this is gonna be such a
terrible movie. And then like you, you start getting introduced to the other
like the cast, and I was like, oh shit, this has actually
got a really good cast. Yeah, this is this is really good.
And you know, I agree with you guys that I don't think the main
villain was very captivating, Like it's all like he's worse Cortel leader than Pablo
whatever. It's like whatever. The Peter Stormaer's character was a better villain.
Yeah, for sure in this movie, I thought, but so much more
fun. Yeah, yeah, he was way more fun. He had way
better lines. I mean, the other the other guy just drove. That's
all he was doing. Was just like he was just like, I'm getting
out of prison and I'm driving back to Mexico and all my people are going
to spend all our resources, so when I get there, I will be
broke. He was about to give Arnold twenty million dollars. Yeah, right,
And I was like, where is this coming from? Because they just
you know, put a lot of resources in it helping you escape. And
then when and then you know, so you kind of see all these characters,
you got Knoxville and all these people showing up, You're like, oh,
this is already a solid cast. And then Forrest Whitaker shows up.
I'm like, all right, I'm in. I'm gonna give it a three,
all right, just mostly just because of the cast. Yeah, nice,
Okay, Well that's a I was gonna say, be as harsh as
you want. Because Brennan gave Conyan a point z are point five, Yeah,
less than a one, and uh what was that? Laura gave Sabotage
a point five. So yeah, our guests are, uh, have no
problem, which, well, it wasn't like a terrible movie. Yeah,
it was entertaining, it was fun. It just reminds it reminds you,
like like a cheesy action Yeah, for sure. It's definitely a B movie.
Yep. That is going to give The Last Stand a three point two
five, which is going to put it in sixth place behind Predator, Running
Man, Twins, Commando in Six Day, and just above a Racer in
the Day's Genesis, Dark Fate, and a bunch of other ones. So
not bad. It's it's a little higher than I would have expected, uh
going in, But the movie was a lot better than I expected going in.
And that's true. It is more fun than I thought it was gonna
be. Pret is up top near mine seah totally okay those those five yeah,
okay. Anyway, a lot of the newer movies are I mean wish
yeah, I stand six Day latter half of his career, which technically,
though I hate to throw this monkey wrench into your your chart here, technically
based on Just Your Guys podcast, running Man is at the top because Predator
has two extra oh yeah, extra point like you had two guests on there
would that? Uh like if I let's see, if you just did your
three, I think it's gonna be even with running Man. Oh yeah,
he's right, it's four point three repeating. Yeah, so if you're just
going based on your three, it's they're tied. So okay, even if
there was our boss is a math genius. Holy shit, you don't get
to the top bight or something. All right, well whatever it say,
gonna look over my contract again. This is fun. I don't know what
I was signed up for. Okay, well it's it's still up there.
But anyway, yea, all right, before we go, do you have
any plugs to plug? Uh? Yeah. You can check out my new
podcast, Panel Picks. It's a comic book podcast that'll be releasing every Tuesday.
We're all be talking about what's coming out for the week and what I'm
looking forward to, what's hot. And then I have another podcast called The
Art of Bombing, where I talked to comedians about their worst times on stage
and follow me everywhere on social media debub Comedy and website debubcomedy dot com.
Awesome, Well, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having
me and my old man voice that brings us to the conclusion of Arnold's twenty
thirteen action comedy western vehicle Last Stand Chevy Action Western comedy Oh Yes, thank
you, the Chevy action Western comedy vehicle. Oh the vehicle is a Chevy
Yes yeah, and say tuned for what's coming up next, which is Arnold's
nineteen eighty eight action comedy vehicle Red Heat. Yeah. So with that,
I guess there's only one thing left to say. See. If you enjoy
our show, please consider giving us a positive review on Apple Podcasts or your
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