It. This is Bentley. No, yeah, I'd be happy to help.
Overworked and underplayed? Is it not Safe for work? Dungeons and Dragons
actual play podcast about a group of young professionals from the real world we find
themselves transported to a strange but familiar place full of fantasy and magic. If
you click the link below, you'll be able to see the description of content,
warnings, and if there's anything else you can do for you, just
let me know. Have a good day, Agent Purple. I'm glad you
could finally make it. We've secured the perimeter and have the evidence here.
Let me take you to our one eyewitness. Okay, yes, post taste
please, sir, We're ready for you now. Okay, sir, can
you tell me a little bit about what you experienced here? Uh? Yeah,
we were up in the stands and they summoned us all down for some
kind of ceremony and ma'am, my eye is up here. I know this
is probably the first time you dealt with the cyclops, but you're giving me
some weird vibes the way you're looking at me. Oh sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry, I went a little cross eyed there, like you could
just stare at my forehead. If that makes it easier for you, good
good, thank you, I will do that. Yeah. Anyways, so
there was this buff babe and this little dude and they climbed up the big
tree and I was like whoa, and then we were like no way.
He found an orb in the tree and then he snagged it and he tried
to like jump out of there like some kind of commando, but he got
snagged by some gnarly ghost arm and we were like, whoa, that's given
me the hebgb's man like like seriously for real. And then this hippie drow
girl used this ice thing and it went like scodooche. So the buff babe
like started punching the shadow people and I didn't think that would work too well,
but then they went like and then the big horse lady got smacked around
like she was trying to defend everybody, and she kind of like fell over.
It looked like she was taking like a gnarly nap, but an interesting
way of describing that. But then the hippie lady like poured some stuff in
the mouth of the horse lady and then she like jumped up like nothing happened.
It was pretty sick oh okay, yeah, and then the big armored
guy just kind of stood there for a while and like he looked really frustrated.
But eventually like he just chopped the dude's head off or something like.
It was like like over and then everything just kind of went chaotic and like
people started fighting each other over some stuff, and then like here we are,
like the police showed up, and we're all like hands up, like
we're not trying to cause a problem, you know what I mean, Like
I'm not trying to go to jail. I totally see that, sir.
All right, well, mister eyewitness, it's CI, it's Si. Oh
well lovely. Thank you so much for your input. We'll be following back
up with you in case you might need some additional support from our team,
or if you have any other information you'd like to share. Thank you.
Rad Greetings, my paid and unpaid interns. I am Alex Capps. You're
DM or District manager and this is overworked and underplayed a D and D podcast
that could have been an email Today's ice breaker. How does your character like
to spend the holidays? What up? It's you boy? Marcel Hardy playing
Richard Cox, a human consultant turned halfling Bard who holy believes it's better to
be lucky than good, but it's best to be both. And Richard spends
the holidays with his family. It's one of the few times a year where
they're all together, and they have a tradition where they each open one present
on Christmas Eve and then they leave the rest for Christmas Day. Sweet,
It's so awesome. Yeah. Hi, I'm Anelin Hardy and I play Taylor
Jacobs, a centaur Barbarian with a heart of gold who has certainly gotten more
complicated as we've gone through this podcast. So her favorite thing to do on
Christmas is read everyone's out of office messages and like like because it doesn't have
it out of She is that her version of like getting Christmas cards. Maybe
she puts the one she likes, she prints it outputs on the fridges.
No, No, she genuinely enjoys reading them. She thinks they're cute.
Hi everyone, I'm Katie and I play Crystal the draw Drug with her very
own MLM Crystal Clarity. And Crystal's favorite part of the holidays slash. What
she does over the holidays is she hosts a ton of black Friday sales as
well as recruitment workshop type deals. So that is her gift to herself is
just going to events and talking about herself. Yes, so that's what she
does for the holidays, is she does a ton of traveling, but not
with her family, with her boss babe sisters. Hey, I'm Margie.
I play Amy and Amanda, a basic, b rough and tumble human fighter
with a freshly minted dentistry degree. Let's see. So Amy, am comes
from a really big, close knit family, so of course you do all
we all do the standard, you know, Christmas Eve, Christmas, everybody
comes together, exchange little gifts in the morning with pajamas on. Do they
have matching pajamas? Absolutely before, Absolutely they do. It's amazing. It's
like one of her favorite times of the year. And they have like a
little tradition. It's not every year, but whenever the newest dentist graduated,
you know, like they graduated earlier this spring, they'll celebrate specially in Christmas.
But Amyan has not got to experience that yet because she just graduated.
So she's hopefully will be bad for christmassing her like thing that she's worked for.
So holy we won't be gone that long, but I feel like we're
all it's been year sis going back, it has been like three weeks.
Yeah, so we'll see hopefully, hopefully it's a you know, a fun
thing. There's a lot of secrecy around interested to see what that's it's gonna
be like, you know, like candles and maybe some robes, some robes.
I'm Tyler play Bentley, the IT Paladin, and Bentley does the same
thing I do where I avoid going home to see my family on the twenty
fourth so I can stay home and watch Christmas movies and then I go see
my family on the day of What's Bentley's favorite Christmas movie? Mine is The
Polar Express or Charlie Brown Christmas. One of the two. Okay, so
those the two that I watch every single year. I'm Alex Capps, your
DM or district manager. You know the way dms spend the holiday. It's
a lot like Saturday Morning cartoons Christmas specials, where there's all these characters having
fun and with their family or friends, and there's always that one character who's
just at a bar drinking whiskey and playing pool all alone. That's the DM.
Hey, listeners, this show is made possible by the support of our
awesome patrons. In addition to a thank you for their support, our patrons
get an ad free listening experience and access to exclusive bonus content. In the
weeks between episodes, our patrons are getting an extra show where we recap episodes
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can get by supporting us on Patreon, check us out at patreon dot com
slash own Up Pod. So when we last left off, you guys were
in a heated battle with the head of the orchard. I would just like
to say we like cut into Bentley's still in his pose of having slash Sure.
Yeah, so as everyone else is weird and a it's been like five
minutes and you still holdings. You guys see as like Mike Chef's body does
that anime thing where like the top half and the bottom half slide different directions,
and all you see is Bentley like holding his pose with his flaming sword
at the low position. Question when is it still flamingo? Oh yeah,
oh yes, then he's gonna like look at a sword and like I am
now a believer in God. Yeah, And then Crystal goes, you mean
to tell me you could have done this that entire time looks like y'all had
it handled. We like you, We didn't, we had it handled.
You sat in the corner and cried. I couldn't move, You couldn't move.
Yeah, I was like in place by magic, by magic or just
your own sheer terror. Taylor is gonna be like to show fear. Taylor's
over here, like bleeding out, like like all beat up in al like
she's like flipping Bentley off, not tyling. The darkness is beginning to dissipate.
You guys are seeing more and more of this area, and you realize
that you weren't necessarily in a cave. It was more of a his mother's
basement. No, it was not his mother's basement. It was more of
like a ravine where and this tree grows up out of and goes to the
area around where you were earlier at the main camp. Okay, and I
need let's have Richard and Amy and make a perception check, since y'all are
the only ones like not arguing with Bentley about things as Taylor while that's happening,
what does she say? Okay, I hold that thought okay, and
you say, what was it? Perception? Perception? And then are we
still on the tree or where are we? No, you're you're both at
the base of the tree by this point ten six, So the ten will
be enough. You don't really know what's happening, but you see what looks
to be like people starting to like stand up in the stands like the areas.
Uh oh, there are still people. Oh I thought they all disappear.
Disappeared too, You say, all of them. Oh so it wasn't
as big as we thought it was. Okay, all right, So so
do we both see this? Essentially? You see it? Okay, Richard's
hunched over with his wounds, and okay, so I'm gonna kneel down to
start giving you some some bandage it, Richard, Richard, look at those
people are standing up. There's still people in the stands. Okay, start
looking around. Yeah, we definitely should say something. Are they doing anything?
Hold still? Hold still. So so what I'll say is, as
you look a little closer, you see it looks like they're like it almost
looks like they're waking up from a nap, Like the way they're stretching,
and they're like rubbing their eyes and stuff. All right. So Crystal you
said you were casting a spell. Yeah, what are you doing? So
I'm just gonna cast healing word at the first level to Taylor Jacobs. Okay,
heel for seven. Okay, you get eight plus the number of hit
dice you have. Are you using your healing kit? Yes? Okay,
So you're bandaging Richard up Amyen and then Crystal you're casting healing word. All
right. So Bentley chef, Okay, so you go, you go to
loot chef. You don't You don't find a lot. You'll find a little
bit of gold. Richard says, look for keys way ahead of you.
Can Taylor see that the people are still there? I'll say, you find
twenty one gold like in a little coin purse, and then you find a
couple of strange looking gems, and then you'd say you would find some kind
of keys to the facility. What is Taylor asking? Can she see the
people? Yeah? So you see the people looks like they're waking up.
Okay. What did Crystal say to Taylor for healing word? Then you say,
it's like get up, bitch or something. That was my first one.
This is the second attempt at healing word. I feel like names.
I feel like these are official names of Crystal Clarity. Get up, bitch.
That's her morning wake up solution. I mean, no, she was
just like I think that she recognized that Taylor totally saved her ask. Yeah,
even though she's not super thrilled that her ask got saved. She and
she's mad about Bentley, but I think she's just like, thank you in
a nice way. And then there's gonna be like awestruck. Yeah, it's
a big deal. All right. So Tyler, you finish looting Mike Cheff,
and you you start looking at your sword again. What was it you
were saying? I just want to hold it near the body and see if
it like, is it like holy flames or is it Oh yes, definitely
holy flames. And you see, like whenever you get it really close to
one of his body parts, now that he's for all intents and purposes dead,
the body begins to ash. I'm gonna get rid of that, okay,
like crumbly ash, like the Vampire Slayer. Yeah. Yes, So
Taylor wants to like look deeply into Crystal's eyes and then like gesture around the
room and be like this is your moment. Look at all these new customers.
Oh oh that's right, all right, So what is Crystal doing?
So Crystal takes the opportunity to stand up. Is there a stage still standing?
There's not. But as you stand up, you see a figure dressed
in black begin to approach all of you, like walking up. As he
sees that you noticed him, he puts his hands up and he says,
I mean you no harm. Taylor's got her sort out. Yeah, dude,
we kind of already had this dance. So I'm gonna need you to
like disrobe, I guess, and yeah, like you are wearing an actual
robe. This isn't a mask. I'm not asking to get naked. I'm
asking you to like there will be no disrobing, but if you want to
survive this whole thing, you should probably come with me. You just killed
this cult's leader and all of the cultists are waking up, right, which
is my shiny moment. Dude, You're you're killing my vibe. So I'm
going to have you offer this, but give me five seconds. Okay,
what Richard, what do you think you think we can take this? Do
we get it? Like he's he was talking away from us. He's waking
his way towards us, do we see like not? As he gets closer,
what he looks like? So, so what you see is a figure
dressed in black. He has a mask on. It's almost like a luchador
mask. It's our guy, right, And as he gets closer, you
see he's not really wearing a robe as much as it's more of like a
leather trench coat. It's a badass long coat. Right. Yeah. Weapons,
you do not see any weapons, probably doesn't need weapons. That's just
yet. And he says, I mean none of you any harm. Insight
please rich in sighte go ahead, roll in sight absolutely, yeah, in
sight Richard is going to like lean over, not leanover, like look around
the black Jimmy? Is that the and then remember that Jimmy's not with us
anymore? Dirty twenty. So what I will say is from Jimmy's discret,
sounds like this guy okay. So with the nineteen and a twenty, your
gut instinct is telling you, like what you see does not appear dangerous,
and he appears truthful, that he doesn't mean you harm, and that he's
worried that what's going to happen now that you've killed Mike Chef and you're on
a compound full of cultists that appeared to be waking up from a trance.
Guys, I think we should believe them. He seems trustworthy. Raybe,
this is my chance. Do you think, Crystal, do you do a
thing? Can do both? Can't we? Yeah? So she's going to
speak to the room at large, and she's going to say, there is
no need to panic. We have freed you from this suppression. You see
as one of the cultists like rubs, his eye looks and he goes,
whoa did they? Did they murder Mike Chef? He was just there.
No, we did not murder Mike Chef. What happened to him? It
disappeared. He's gone, and with it, the spell that was placed on
you has been lifted. Tell them God, that's technically just technically true.
But we don't. We don't. We're not doing that yet. We're not
doing that yet. So you said that, It sounded like you said,
I need you to make me a stealth check with disadvantage, mister flaming sword
weirdo, Richard, give them a presentation. Yeah, where's the power point?
We have a projector? Now, that's what Richard needs. A spell
projectives power point I rolled. I rolled nine so with my negative to dexterity.
So what I'm going to say is, you, guys, as you're
trying to convince the cultists, you hear Bentley, go tell him God smite
at him like pretty loud. And more of them begin to wake up and
they're looking, hey, no attention, and then they look. While they're
looking at that distraction, Richard wants to put the light bulb in the fenny
pack. Okay, so I'm gonna say that's easy enough, because the guy
with his hands up is kind of looking around the room even and he's like,
we need to go. And you here's one of them, go,
did they stab the Holy Aspen? I think he's right. We should probably
get out of here. They don't respect our ways. We must deal with
them according to the community guidelines. Okay, so yeah, that didn't work.
Hey, guys, that didn't work. Let's go grab your ship,
let's go. And you see as the people begin to get out of the
stands itit's around this tree and they are drawing swords and daggers and all kinds
of stuff, and the masked man goes hurriy, and you see as he
begins swirling his hand almost like Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. A
portal appears. I'll say it is blue, not the same swirling we've seen
before. No, no, no, no, no, it's not that.
And uh he says, hurry now, hurry all right, emmy,
and we'll go in first. Yeah, we'll go through. Taylor will be
last, so in case anyone comes up with the lowest HB should go last.
Okay, as I want, as as I'm rocking up into the thing,
can I do a quick look around and see if I see either Indigo
or Piece. So as you look around, you don't see either of them.
Okay, but but you do note that this amphitheater doesn't appear big enough
to hold everyone that was on the compound. Okay. So as Richard's going
in the portal, he wants to see if there's the bracelet on his wrist
from Jimmy's description. Okay, so you're gonna need to make a perception check
with disadvantage, because it's gonna be it's gonna be like you're gonna have to
really look hard, and then I'm gonna need you to do something else.
I'm gonna need you to also make a stealth check to see if he notices
you, like looking for something. Okay, so poor perception, that was
like a five, but stealth is a nineteen. Okay, so so you
don't see anything, but you don't see him notice you see not seeing anything,
if that makes sense. Basically, nothing happens, zero, no good
or bad thing happened. Balanced nice. And as you all make it through
the portal. When you get to the other side, you see you're on
a hill what appears to be probably a mile. Before Crystal runs through the
portal, she wants to like yell at the top of her voice, if
you guys want the truth, you need to find the Crystal, the real
Crystal. And that's it. She doesn't give him any other information. Oh
yeah, we should tell him that Crystal clarity. So so when they when
you say that, they're like, yeah, she's she was coming to visit
in a couple of weeks. I said, the real one. And then
I just like, I love the idea of you backfalling into the portal and
then you just lay you just like smack your head on the rock from the
and so and so everyone's going through the portal, and then he's gonna jump
through right at the end and close the portal. As they're like slowly closing
in on you, guys, the tailor's going to be like Crystal Clarity sent
us ahead. You get rid of him so that she could take over your
colt Okay, bye, all right, I'm gonna write that down. I'm
mad at that. So you guys, let's put the colts against you could
work to our favorites. It's like, you can't defeat me, no,
but they can. So you guys make it through the portal, and you
look around and realize you're on a hill, probably a few miles away from
the orchard, kind of overlooking it, and you see what appears to be
a lot of fires and stuff at the orchard itself. Looks like there's a
lot of chaos going on down there, and you see as the mask man
turns, the rest of you goes Okay, now are any of you injured?
Hold it up there, buddy. We don't know who you are,
we don't know what your intentions are. We're gonna need a little bit more
from you. We don't even know what your face looks like do you know
how to do yoga? All questions I shall answer in due time. Introductions
are in order. I would have preferred to do them upon our first meeting,
but it seemed that our movement was prudent. My name is doctor Datarian,
Doctor Datarian? Or are you a dentist? What is what is dentistry?
It's like mouth stuff? She said, dentist, and he said what
is dentistry, which means he does in fact, you know what dentists?
He says, I'm familiar with mouths, but not necessarily mouth stuff, so
I know about mouth stuff. He tries to look like he gets like,
you have to say you are Are you really you know? So? He
says, I've been visiting the orchard for quite a while, and I have
been trying to figure out what they were up to and what their leader was
doing. It appears the lots of you beat me to the punch has to
say, now, you, louis a fruit punch, flavored fruit punch,
don't punch. I'm confused. No, you said we beat you to the
punch. The punch was fruit flavored fruit punch. Your punches are flavored?
Yes, I mean fruit punch is the most common one. He seems very
puzzled by this rich dentistry. Hey, so about that healing? He said,
Yes, are any of you injured? Yes? Are you? Are
you unable to continue on? I would prefer if you'd get to a safer
distance. Oh, I can work through being sick. Definitely, she's a
real work course because she knows how to work through being sick and has never
taken a sick day. I will let you go ahead and burn one of
your hit dice to regain hip posts, because do you know how to you
know how to force your body into to continuing work out the mental strength of
Memrie. Yeah, how long would you say it takes for me to apply
my healer's kit? Use like a minute or two? I would say,
yeah, it's a couple of minutes. We can spare five minutes. Okay,
let me give you them eight plus The number of hit die you have
is how much health you get back for me? Yes, so it'd be
eight plus three between the two of them. Who looks the most injured Richard
looks a little bit better than half healthy, a little bit better than half.
He's probably okay on a scale of zero two, one hundred percent would
you say, all right, then I'll just hold my own. He turns
and he says, uh, no, need to take this offline. Overworked
and underplayed, will circle back after these messages? Is anyone hungry? Guys?
I don't think we should get anything from strangers. We learned the hard
way last time. No offense, sir, But I think we've got we've
got our own food. Let us continue, will She was like an apple?
If he hasn't do I? Do I see that? Do I see
her asking him for an apple? Yes? Hey, hey, you know
what instead of that, I have a I have an energy bar? Taylor?
You want you want that? Yeah, that's the same. I'm just
nervous. Like last time, it knocked us out. Of course you're okay,
very sarcastic tailor is. I believe it is in all of our best
interests if we returned to Vron at the soonest opportunity. Yeah, no shit.
Now, so we left our wagon back at the camp. How do
you propose we could do this quickly? Uh? You know, to do
another portal thing again? Well, unfortunately I can only do that so many
times. But like you could do it again now? Yes, but it
could only get us so far. Could it get us back to our wagon
at the camp. We would have to run away from the camp again,
Yeah, but with a wagon. But they have wagons. Remember we rode
in together. Yes, and now we have a chase, he says.
He says, hold on, hold on, and you see as he performs
some hand gesture in this small little bat appears in his hand and he sends
it off, and he says, I will see to the status of your
wagon. You see as he kind of like zones out for a second,
and he says, okay, I will send two of you to get the
wagon. I'll go. I think amy Ann and Bentley probably the best wagon
drivers we have. He produces a portal and he says, okay go now,
okay, fine. Bentley goes, even though he knows he's going to
have to hear more stories about YouTube. Portal through and you appear at the
wagon, and as you're getting it ready to leave, you see that it
appears that several of the cultists are all fighting each other. At this point,
I'm kind of interested in why they're fighting. Can I hear anything like
at each other? Just hear a lot of angry noises. You're not close
enough to steel. You're not You're not close enough to really figure out like
the socioeconomics of what's going on here are the politics of the situation? Dad,
you got you gotcha? I went to public school. Yeah, yeah,
what's socio all right? Yeah? So yeah, quickly putting everything together,
checking on the horses and all that. It's all of our stuff still
in the wagon. Yeah, okay, it doesn't appear that anything's really been
messed with. Is there anything of interest nearby that one could grab? What's
the equivalent of slashing the other carts? Tires? I was gonna say,
the horses from the other cart. Okay, that's something you can do.
Wait, I want to steal one of the other horses. Okay, so
you're gonna are you gonna try to ride a horse? Don't release all the
courses cars. We'll steal another cart. We can sell that we get back
to town. That seems like a lot of work. Bailey, Are you
going to be in charge of this? Are you? Mom? Are you
going to as I'm like releasing these horses? Go on, We're gonna get
out of it. That's how you talk to horses, right. Katie Bentley's
weighing the option of whether or not it's worth being able to ride on the
supper car. Maybe she just talk. Don't worry, I won't talk to
you. As we cut back to the rest of the party, he turns,
he goes, it doesn't appear that they've made any progress. Is this
is this normal? I would say that they're probably right on schedule. We
always put a buffer on our schedule. We know our workers. Yeah,
under promise and over delivery. There it is interesting. So we cut back
to Amy and and Tyler. Yeah, I just got on the regular car
our cart and let's go. I'll drive, so you guys, I would
say, without too much challenge, managed to make it back to the rest
of the party, and he says, so shall we all depart? As
we pull back up to the party, you hear Bentley talking and he's like,
that was my tragic childhood story that I will never tell anyone ever again.
And you told me not to share this with anyone. Are seems like
pretty important to behave? Taylor's Oh, no about story? Or do I
get to Since you've done that, Tyler, you now need to DM her
your tragic backstory something you know? I will I will her my tragic backstory
when I come up with the one. Yeah, so uh so they come
back, they don't have a second cart. Richard's like, well, I
guess we're sharing a cart with this stranger. Then I think he's got his
way back. This was ours as he with you guys. You're the yoga
guy, right, can you show us some moves while you're back there?
Did you show some breath work? There's not quite enough room here for my
normal yoga sequence, but you see, is he like attempts to do downward
facing dog quick question. Wood Crystal, as a certified yoga instructor, know
that he is bullshitting the fuck out of them, right, so he's got
the idea, but you could tell, like you're like, hmmm, Crystal
knows her yoga is better than his justice alignment. Crystal actively takes his hips
and adjusts his As you do that, you hear like eight vertebra pop and
he's like, yeah, you're very totally skilled to yoga. Deterretory doctor Datarian
Tradian, what are you a doctor? F all? This is happening now?
This is a doctor of many things. Well, usually it's one thing.
Where are you from? I'm from here I'm from Travaria. Are you
from the Orchard. I'm not from the Orchard. The way you say that
makes it like you know that we're not from Are there any can I roll
something to determine if I can determine any clues about him, like his appearents,
scent, anything, Make another insight check and we'll see if you can
pick up on anything. And I look over it whoever's a cross from me
and like squint my eyes, Like, okay, so I look over Taylor
like he's just trotting alongside. Yeah, Crystal's actively still got his her hands
on trying to get a perception, said insight. Okay, yeah, you're
still skeptical. You can't tell if he's like a con man or if he's
serious or what. But you do know he has magic. Okay, yeah,
I mean obviously he's got to put a bat. Yeah, well it
made he made it appear, so you think that it might be. Let's
see, you saw early in the campaign when the inquisitor made the bird.
You assume it's something similar to that. Can I tell anything about his mask?
Like is it really sweaty under there? I'm going to say it's not
because that's just the thought of that made me squirm. That's what a guess
what sweaty? I need an answer the same. I'm going to say that
it does not get sweaty under there, because I don't even want to think
about that. You he has like a magic spell conditioning on himself. Look
at the condition of his teeth. If I could see his teeth, can
I see? Yeah? You can see. While she's trying to figure out
his teeth, I'm like, well, two questions, One like how late
is it? And is it? How dark is it? So I'm going
to say the sun has just come up. Okay, good, because Richard
doesn't have dark vision. He's the one driving the car. Second question,
I imagine you guys trade it out once you told me your tragic backstory.
And the second question, Richard is gonna like lean back. Anyone actually know
the way back to Travaria point of information? Uh? Then whatever city we're
going to, this is all Travary. We are heading to Lavron. You
know, that's why I believed you were heading. Yeah, that's exactly what
good. He reaches into his trench coat or like his you know, overcoat,
and he pulls out a map and hands it to you. He says,
this should this should help. All right, So Richard's gonna roll a
survival check to Oh my god, does Richard know how to read a map?
Fourteen? All right? Yeah, what I'm going to say is this
isn't far off of the like main highway of Trevaria, of this part at
least, So are you need to be able to get back on the highway?
Yeah, I'm good from there. Yeah, you're you made it to
the interstate. You just need to make it back to the what's that that
place with the soup that we met the we're gonna make it back to Mamatildes.
So he says, oh, yes, the soup there is succulent.
It's good. Yes, it's quite good. Crystal. I didn't realize how
good Richard is a multitasking. Did you see that? He's like driving the
carts the horse, he's reading the map. I mean, I could probably
do better, but he's doing an okay, job's going to be like she's
everything. When you sheathed your sword, it went out. I guess you'll
never know around with it. So he's over there like shaking it and nothing's
happening. Damn, Wait, what are we talking about exactly what you think?
We're talking about flaming sword that he didn't sheathe. It's probably really a
sword anyways. So you're continuing on in the cart, Bentley's playing with his
sword in front of everybody. It's kind of yeah, he's got a tragic
backstory, guys, I would try. That's all she can say about that.
I can't say anything else, but it's tragic. That's it's like,
and we all have tragic backstories, So like you don't, I don't like
the tragic backstory, no, I thought, I mean, we just oh,
okay, an equally valid. Okay, It's like I had my college
as of the last two weeks. I'll have a tragic I guess doctor Tatarians
is if I may, tragedy is the one thing shared amongst all people here.
Can you speak up back there? I can't hear you. He said
something about tragedy everybody's experience in it, or something like that. I wasn't
built for suffering. You could think of me more as a sports car that
you just take out when the weather and conditions are perfect. He does not
know how to respond to that at all. She's like a Ferrari, but
more reliable. Yeah is uh he turns. Is that the type of horse
where you're from? Yeah, it's oh you have Italian so Hey, doc,
so what's the deal? Give us the exposition for why you're here.
I told you I've been investigating the orchard. H huh on his authority?
Yeah, more details please, on the authority of the Lord Protector of Lavron.
Hey, Doc, I have a question. When we were getting the
cart, they seemed to be infighting. Any idea why. I was under
an assumption that who you knew is mister Chef had been using some sort of
enchantment to cloud others' minds. But the strange thing in my bit of investigation
was it seemed that not everyone required the enchantment. Some people, just by
virtue of visiting and seeing the conditions, were more than willing to join his
little family. I couldn't believe that anybody would actually just blindly follow this man.
I guess that means we did Bluegle a favor by taking down one of
their competitors. Maybe we'll get a bonus. Oh yeah, that's why I
was hoping that would get to use those keys and maybe get some information from
chefs. You're you're working for bluegle. Unfortunately, we're not happy about it.
Somebody even considered that we try to get fired and they won't do it.
Well. Have you ever considered leaving the the corporate sector for the government
sector. I have considered many things, and they still won't be had poor
job performance and they were like, Nope, we're not going to fire you.
So if you can get me out of that, that'd be great.
That is quite unfortunate. It's kind of like government. It does be unfireable.
Perhaps I could put in a word for you with the Lord Protector Harold
long Shaft. Good God, that would be great. His last name was
long Shaft. That's funny. Is there a shorter name for Harold Harry Harry
Shaft? Do you has a sense of companionship with this person he's never met
before? Similar type names from one dick joke to another. Oh what's your
first name? Douk a moon a m u n and then his middle name
is Ada. I s A d A like okay, and this is but
like I was saying before, the Lord Protector had some questions about this cult
and listening to rumblings around the town. I had heard that the lot of
you were visiting, and I thought this would be a good chance to observe
from Afar, to see how he treats people who he doesn't know and also
knows have no ties to official government business. Well, he won't be treating
anybody any kind of way any anymore. Yeah, what at what point did
you come in that room? He says. I had just arrived as I
saw the magical darkness descending in the area, and it took some time to
navigate. So shit, Crystal wants to use her little friendship bracelet. She's
going to be like So he didn't see the part the guys you know,
a giant spider discount. Oh my god, as she makes the chopping motion
with her So what do you think should the next step be? He thinks
for a minute, and he says, well, the only thing for me
to do is to report my findings to the Lord Protector. And what are
those findings? Exactly? My finding are that, based on what I've seen,
is that the orchard is no longer a threat to the government. I
wouldn't be so sure about that, mister pretty pissed off. Was we were
like a lot of time there We have this thing called a vacuum of power.
When one person leaves a bunch of other infighting happens trying to take that
top spot. There's a worse person in charge. Well, yes, but
considering before it was a demon and now it's not, I would say they
are less of a threat and off of our radar for the time being.
Like, when you say that figuratively, what do you mean you said he
was a demon? Like, yes, he was a fiendish he was a
fiendish being. You you knew this, right? What you did? I?
Wait, you knew that. You didn't tell us, but the bracelets
were apparently turned off. Wait, so you need to tell us that you
actively kept a secret from us and let us all get the shit kicked out
of us until we finally, until you finally decided to I don't know,
get up off your ass and help again. Magically couldn't move nothing, we
could be done. I do not believe that you Wait, wait, wait,
wait you're going so you can wait a second, yet, hold on,
hold on the road's starting to look a little familiar. You mean to
tell me that you didn't go there knowing he was a fiend? No,
and when we do that yeah, I'd assumed you were traveling there to dispose
of him on behalf of Bluegle. They had always been at odds with each
other. Yeah, but him, being a fiend, had no information on
our part. Also, we don't start our workday think you were going to
kill somebody. That is also correct. That's a very good point, Taylor,
he says. Interesting, and before now we have to start all of
our work days thinking we're going to kill somebody. He says, Well,
you might be the most interesting group of persons I think I've ever come across.
Well, thanks, look at that a lot. Yeah, I imagine.
So, hey, so doctor Drrito do you He would be offended,
but he doesn't know, Like, what would he be of that? I
don't think they have cool ranch in this Lorita, I mean American? Yeah.
Man, hey, so what else do you know about us in your
in your research and your findings? Well, do you have a performance review?
He says. He says, my limited knowledge has told me that you
are not from here, per se, that you are from some far away
land Atlanta, Atlanta. Interesting. I've been intrigued, especially after the reports
came in that you stole from Bluegle and then it wasn't the group of se
as much as a couple of specific individuals, but the rest of us do.
And then there were several breaks. The guy whose flaming sword didn't come
in handy until the last bit of the fight, and he's as well.
There were also several other brush ups around town related to you. There was
quite a large file. But it was the sudden shift after your last adventure
out into the wild that I couldn't help but be let my curiosity get the
best of me. So I began seeking you out. And when I learned
that you had embarked on a journey to the orchard, and the orchard was
at the top of my list of things of interest, well, I just
couldn't help myself, and I had to head on down and see what all
the fuss was. Do you have a person just curious? How did you
know we were headed to the orchard? We kind of like went to bluegl
slept and we didn't tell anybody, Like, how in the world could you
possibly found that? Well, there's a list of people and images of those
people that are produced and posted at all the gates, and you know,
when there are people who have caused problems before it gets reported up the chain
of command. Are we in trouble? No, you're not in trouble.
We're just talking. We're just having a conversation. You know, there's no
there are no charges or implications going back to jail. Are we depends on
how you answer the questions. What question it's like, It's like it downs
on Taylor Jacobs. Oh my god, we've been talking to a cop this
whole time exactly. He says, don't worry. I don't plan on implicating
any of you in any sort of illegal activity of anything. You all did
me a huge favor. I believe this is a good spot to make camp.
I think we should stop here. All right, Bentley, what do
you think are close? Three to monutilities? You're still a little ways away
and it's starting to get dark. It's been a whole another day. Yeah,
this is this is a travel day. Okay, yeah, okay,
I guess yeah, sure, it's uh, it's a good enough spots and
I'm gonna use my divine since to see if there's anything around you detect nothing
cool? Yeah, all right, yeah, this should be okay. You
detect one fiend right in the cart with you? Here? I just you
guys might camp and he says, he sets up his little bed roll and
everything on the ground, and he says, okay, so who's keeping watch?
So a lot we've learned our lesson, I think, guys, So
I think two of us should be awakened and given time, just because we've
had really bad luck in the past. Crystal will take the first watch because
she only ever requires ye hours of meditation. Yeah, okay, and then
Taylor and Richard, and then I guess Bentley and doctor dude, that makes
sense? Ability doctor? Do you you guys set up so during the first
and second watch, you guys have no real issues. You trade out and
everything. Third watch, Bentley, I need you to make a perception check.
Fourteen. Okay, So the fourteen you hear what appears to be some
kind of rustling in the bushes, like just off to the side, and
you see his tatarian looks, and he goes, did you hear that?
Yeah? I heard that. Bentley is gonna like be like uncheathing his sword.
He's like, I'll go around the left, you go around the right.
Let's see what we're dealing with. Sure, Bentleys also gonna get his
acts out so he's du a building in plus one. You both move around,
almost like a pincer motion, and you hear the sound begin moving farther
and farther away from camp, and you hear what appears to be the sounds
of goblins. Do I. I guess I don't see them, so I
can't really do anything like see the bushes begin to rustle. How close you're
about fifteen feet away from the rustling bushes. I'm gonna like see if I
can sneak you know what, I'm just gonna sprint at it. Okay,
sprint at the sound. Yeah, you swing your sword. I want you
to go ahead and make me an attack, roll right, and then make
me a perception check. So that's a nineteen to hit. Okay, So
you hit. You swing your sword and your axe right through this bush,
and as you do, there's nothing there was. The bush just obliterated.
Yeah, the bush you just like cut cleanly or like right through a tree,
and then like you slice right through a bunch of grass. Cool.
Do I see doctor dude? You do not see him? A shit.
I'm gonna start running back to camp. Okay. And as you're running back
to camp, all you see is doctor tatarian opening a portal holding the astral
projector you motherfucker and going through well, I'm bones A gratitude today keeps the
haters away, and that's why we want to thank you for listening to Overworked
and Underplayed. You just heard Alex Capps as our DM annelin Hardy is Taylor
Jacobs, Katie is Crystal two point zero, Marjorie is Amy Anne, Marcel,
Hardy is Richard Cox, and Tyler is Bentley. Episodes are edited by
Marcel and circle back episodes are edited by Katie. We hope you enjoyed it
and we'll circle back in two weeks on December twenty eighth for the next episode.
You can help us to get the word out by rating, reviewing,
and subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also follow us on social
at own up pod, That's own uppo d, subreddit, r slash own
up. You sometimes sound like a cartoon villain. I don't know if it's
on purpose, but just say sometimes when you end a sentence, it feels
like bad things are gonna happen because of the sentence that you said is all
like ominous. That seems like a you problem that sounds like a manager