WEBVTT 1 00:00:12.039 --> 00:00:15.759 Hello, kleets, It's me John could Sire, the voice of the crypt 2 00:00:15.800 --> 00:00:32.280 Keeper, and you're listening to Chronicle from the Crypt. Hello there, I'm 3 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:36.679 Casualty Chris and this is Father Malone and we are the host of Chronicles from 4 00:00:36.679 --> 00:00:39.920 the Crypt, a twice a month look at the horror anthology series Tales from 5 00:00:39.920 --> 00:00:43.960 the Crypt that aired from nineteen eighty nine to nineteen ninety six. Now, 6 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:47.840 on each of these podcasts, we do two episodes of the television series, 7 00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:50.640 and if you go back through the catalog, you'll see that between seasons we 8 00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:56.119 used to do episodes about some tangentially related tales of emera. He says, 9 00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:59.520 used to. Because this is the last season. We are on the final 10 00:01:00.159 --> 00:01:03.359 seventh season of Tales from the Crypt, It's it's a little bittersweet, Father 11 00:01:03.399 --> 00:01:06.439 Molan. Wouldn't you say absolutely, because I keep waiting for it to get 12 00:01:06.439 --> 00:01:08.799 better. Oh, get the fuck out of it. I say it's bitter 13 00:01:08.879 --> 00:01:15.359 sweet because I mean I've I've I feel like I've been doing this podcast as 14 00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:19.599 long as the Culture Cast, and that is a that is a reality. 15 00:01:19.640 --> 00:01:25.200 If you've been listening to this podcast recently. In our kind of rebooted run, 16 00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:33.920 I had initially started this podcast in twenty fifteen, and then we got 17 00:01:33.959 --> 00:01:37.359 about I think we I forget Father Molan, when did we start? When 18 00:01:37.400 --> 00:01:41.120 did we reapproach? This was it? Because I remember I asked you if 19 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:44.920 you wanted to help me finish. Yeah, initially it was I think midway 20 00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:48.359 through season five you had gotten to and I guessed it on one of those 21 00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:51.319 and then we decided maybe we ought to just do it again from the beginning. 22 00:01:51.400 --> 00:01:55.959 This was at least two years ago, maybe three two. We literally 23 00:01:56.040 --> 00:02:00.599 we literally got to the end of that recording and we were like, should 24 00:02:00.599 --> 00:02:05.200 we just redo this from the start. I think we both came to the 25 00:02:05.239 --> 00:02:08.280 realization at the same time, separately and then essentially said the same thing at 26 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:12.159 the end. So it's it's pretty bittersweet. I mean, you know, 27 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:16.759 we've we have derided the show a fair amount, and I you know, 28 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:21.719 again, I want to reinforce to the community because I know that the community 29 00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:25.120 listens. I know that you know, there's a very active Facebook group and 30 00:02:25.120 --> 00:02:29.000 there are a lot of fans of the show. I do want to impress 31 00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:32.120 upon them and the Father Malone. I think I can speak for both of 32 00:02:32.199 --> 00:02:35.960 us. We are fans of this show. We love this show, there 33 00:02:35.960 --> 00:02:40.560 wouldn't be a podcast detailing our grievances of the show not from us. Yeah, 34 00:02:40.599 --> 00:02:43.719 if we didn't like this show, we wouldn't be talking about it. 35 00:02:43.800 --> 00:02:45.960 So, you know, I kind of want to clear the air a little 36 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:49.879 bit on that, because it feels like sometimes we do pylon on this show 37 00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:54.039 and this season exactly right, that's exactly how I feel a lot, and 38 00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:59.719 I feel bad for doing it. And this season has felt worse than the 39 00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:06.360 last couple so far. I'm gonna I'll say on par Well, it's felt 40 00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:09.719 worse because this is the final season and this is it and it's not changing 41 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:14.479 its tune. It's it's it's one of those things where it's like you're trying 42 00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:16.439 to get someone to stop doing something, and then once they go off the 43 00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:20.199 cliff, it's like, well, can't do anything about that now. And 44 00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:27.039 that's it's feeling like the show is creeping closer towards its inevitable conclusion and it's 45 00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:31.120 not changing its tune. It's just walking right off the cliff, completely oblivious 46 00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:36.280 that there's a cliff, and it's it's unfortunate, it really is, but 47 00:03:36.439 --> 00:03:40.840 now with English accents exactly so let's talk about some English accents we're gonna be 48 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:45.800 talking about on this episode of Chronicles. From the Crypt Episode three and four, 49 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:51.080 Season seven, A Slight Case of Murder and Escape. It looks like 50 00:03:51.240 --> 00:03:55.800 Neptumbe has just moved from virgul to late Capricorn, which would mean you should 51 00:03:55.840 --> 00:04:01.280 avoid any serious romantic and stranglements for a while, at least until the end 52 00:04:01.319 --> 00:04:11.159 of the month when mercury turns retrograde. Something about your horoscope isn't making sense. 53 00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:16.720 Let me see your hand. Yes, interesting, I'm not much at 54 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:21.560 bleeding palms, but your future seems rather cloudy, kind of like the woman 55 00:04:21.600 --> 00:04:28.519 in Tonight's tale. She's been contemplating her scar sign too. In a nasty 56 00:04:28.639 --> 00:04:33.160 nugget eye call A Slight Case of Murder. So A Slight Case of Murder 57 00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:38.480 aired May third, nineteen ninety six. It is directed by Brian Helgeland, 58 00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:43.639 written by Brian Helgeland. It starts Francesca Anus that is not her name, 59 00:04:44.959 --> 00:04:50.639 Francesca that is really not her name. It starts Francesca Annis, Christopher Cassanov 60 00:04:50.800 --> 00:04:59.480 and Elizabeth Spriggs and it is about a true crime mystery novelist who gets a 61 00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:02.920 mysterio his visitor in the middle of the night. Sure, um boy, 62 00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:11.959 that's a that's what a SUCCINCTA synopsis. I I I genuinely wonder what they 63 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:15.560 were thinking with this episode. I didn't think it was terrible. I just 64 00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:20.759 it's not a terrible issue. It's just a why why was this story so 65 00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:27.279 compelling you had to devote an episode of Tales from the Crip when there's thirteen 66 00:05:27.319 --> 00:05:30.600 episode this season to this story. I mean, that's that's the bigger issue, 67 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:34.759 right. It's not a quality question anymore, it's why are you devoting 68 00:05:35.480 --> 00:05:41.879 one episode when there aren't many left to this story? Yeah? You know, 69 00:05:41.959 --> 00:05:45.639 I think sometimes on the show, we've noticed this in past season's a 70 00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:49.240 guest director, filmmaker, writer sort of steps in and they just let them 71 00:05:49.319 --> 00:05:53.680 go and do what they want. And in this case, Brian Helgeland wanted 72 00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:59.800 to tell us a tale, let's say, not very new, you know. 73 00:05:59.839 --> 00:06:03.959 I actually so. I tend to reread the comics for these episodes after 74 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:08.720 we've watched them. And this Slight Case of Murders based on Vault of Horror 75 00:06:08.839 --> 00:06:13.319 number thirty three, written by Bill Gaines and Al Felstein, and the artwork 76 00:06:13.399 --> 00:06:15.040 was by George Evans. But that's about all I can tell you because could 77 00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:21.199 not find the original issue to read, So we're gonna have to assume that 78 00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:25.519 Brian Helgeland went off on his own and did his own thing. It's all. 79 00:06:25.639 --> 00:06:29.279 I mean. I'm sure the comic couldn't have been much better, but 80 00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:32.879 it's it's a story that to your point. You know, Brian Helgeland doing 81 00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:40.279 his own thing, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that, but why 82 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:44.279 this story? And Brian Helgeland is not a bad writer by any stretch of 83 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:48.959 the imagination, not at all. La Confidential Man on Fire forty two, 84 00:06:50.120 --> 00:06:55.319 that weird Tom Hardy movie where he plays two different people that's actually way better 85 00:06:55.360 --> 00:07:00.279 than it has any right to be. Oh legend, Yeah, it's it's 86 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:02.920 it's weird to me. The order a film that Have you ever seen that 87 00:07:02.959 --> 00:07:08.879 film? I have the Heath Ledger Mark Addy film. Yeah, it's weird, 88 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:13.720 right, yeah, but it's not terrible. Is Brian Hilgeland English by 89 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:18.120 any chance? I don't even know? Uh no, it's not right Providence 90 00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:21.560 low Roadie. Yeah, it's weird that he works so much in England, 91 00:07:21.600 --> 00:07:25.920 But you know, I know, Anglophiles, what are you Gonna do? 92 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:30.839 And he also he also wrote A Night's Tale? Yeah, he directed that 93 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:32.480 too, right, he also directed. Yeah, but I mean I'm I'm 94 00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:36.480 talking. I mean again, you know, his directing style is kind of 95 00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:41.480 non existent in this episode. I'm talking more about like the story kind of 96 00:07:41.480 --> 00:07:45.720 you know. Yeah, his his his ability to write is way better than 97 00:07:45.800 --> 00:07:49.680 this episode. Way yeah. I think every writer out there, particularly when 98 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:54.959 they deal in as much crime as Brian Helgeland does, you know, thinks 99 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:58.000 they have a who Done It in them and they want to they want to 100 00:07:58.040 --> 00:08:01.759 spring it forth, And unfortunately he did so here it tales from the crypt 101 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:11.839 because there there's really nothing new in this story at all, and and it 102 00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:16.519 also takes weird leaps where what was like a two character study with this interloper 103 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:22.000 character who is clearly the antagonist of the tale. I mean, you don't 104 00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:26.199 have such a small cast and not have one of them be the actual sort 105 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:31.160 of overarching fiend that's going to be revealed because we need the reveal. But 106 00:08:31.199 --> 00:08:35.799 like suddenly that woman's what was he her son? Like? What was going 107 00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:37.519 on there where the I don't know, I mean, I guess she had 108 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:43.519 been manipulating them the whole time. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. 109 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:48.320 The character of Elizabeth Spriggs, who plays the nosy neighbor, is a budding 110 00:08:48.519 --> 00:08:56.120 crime writer herself, and so she orchestrates the entire situation of the main character's 111 00:08:56.200 --> 00:09:01.200 ex husband coming back and thinking that he was she was cheating on him, 112 00:09:01.279 --> 00:09:05.039 and then she ropes her own son into it, and it's just fucking dumb. 113 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:11.120 It's just dumb. It's dumb, it's lazy. And on top of 114 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:13.360 it being dumb and lazy, like you said, it's it's a story we've 115 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:16.600 seen before, and we'll see it again, not in this show. But 116 00:09:16.679 --> 00:09:20.519 it's not like this is some novel, new concept that no one has ever 117 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:24.159 thought of before. It's very on the nose. Yeah, And you know, 118 00:09:24.320 --> 00:09:28.440 I think not maybe five or six years beforehand, there had been a 119 00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:33.240 remake of the film Da where they changed the plot from the original film to 120 00:09:33.799 --> 00:09:39.399 a character murdering another in order to steal their novel and gain their fame. 121 00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:45.080 So like that it was not only a new thought when Helgeland did it, 122 00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:48.440 it wasn't a new thought a couple of years beforehand. It's just, you 123 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:52.519 know, this home reminds me a lot of secret window you stole my story. 124 00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:56.759 Oh yeah, my goodness, No, I'm just I'm just kidding. 125 00:09:56.759 --> 00:10:01.240 This does not remind me of that at all, because somehow even that movie 126 00:10:01.320 --> 00:10:05.919 is better than this episode. That's fair, that's fair. Look, the 127 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:11.480 idea that one character who you've been led to believe is a harmless character turning 128 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:18.279 out to be the mastermind of this entire situation is. It's a fun concept, 129 00:10:18.320 --> 00:10:22.039 don't get me wrong, but yeah, it needs to be more skillfully 130 00:10:24.080 --> 00:10:26.840 achieved than what we're given here, which you know, there might be a 131 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:30.759 time constraint maybe, or there might I don't know. I'm not going to 132 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:33.840 make excuses for the episode. It's it is what it is, honestly, 133 00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:39.960 not the worst that we've gotten. As you said, it's it's more a 134 00:10:41.080 --> 00:10:46.159 failure of our expectations that the series is going to go out with a hurrah 135 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:50.080 instead of a Hey, here's more of what we've been giving you. And 136 00:10:50.120 --> 00:10:54.399 that's and that's really so much of what it feels like is it's just it 137 00:10:54.559 --> 00:11:01.840 is content to go out on such a disappointing note, and these episodes that 138 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:07.879 we've been seeing have been pushing it in that direction. It's just it feels 139 00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:11.840 almost and this is a more contemporary example. It feels a lot like Game 140 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:16.879 of Thrones. The show is just rushing to the end. It doesn't even 141 00:11:16.919 --> 00:11:20.279 care about quality. It just wants to be done. Yeah, who knows. 142 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:26.679 Look, I'm not privy to the behind the scenes machinations over at the 143 00:11:26.679 --> 00:11:28.840 Tales from the Crypt office in the mid nineties, but you know, it 144 00:11:28.919 --> 00:11:33.200 feels like this is a lot of out of trunk material, Like they had 145 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:37.120 been writing and writing and then scripts got rejected and it's like, well, 146 00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:41.240 we're doing one more season. Let's pull out everything that we didn't get to 147 00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:43.360 do. But there was a reason they didn't get to do those. Yeah, 148 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:48.399 the reason is is they're not good. So, you know, I 149 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:54.120 applaud them for wanting to do another season of the show. I completely get 150 00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:58.240 it. You know, this show has made an impact on so many people's 151 00:11:58.279 --> 00:12:01.120 careers, and it really has made an impact on the whore community at large. 152 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:07.080 But there's a reason this season is not fondly remembered, and it's because 153 00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.399 if they were going to move to the UK to work on the show, 154 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:16.039 you would have thought they would do something different with it, and yet they 155 00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:20.879 just continue to go down the path that they were going down in season six 156 00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:22.840 and it's like, well, if you're going to spend all that time and 157 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:28.879 effort to move to a foreign country, yeah, continuing the trend of good 158 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:31.480 enough, it seems like they thought, well, it's going to be you 159 00:12:31.559 --> 00:12:37.960 know, completely alien in that you know, different land, different actors, 160 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:43.240 different takes on things. But it feels like they've done no rewriting at all. 161 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:46.799 It's like, this is the what season seven was going to be, 162 00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:48.799 but now it's in England and we'll, you know, we'll throw in a 163 00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:56.480 few sort of English phrases, but that change in locale will be enough. 164 00:12:56.080 --> 00:13:01.679 And it wasn't enough. They needed an entire not a revamp necessarily. I 165 00:13:01.679 --> 00:13:07.360 don't think the actual formula for Tales from the Crypt needs fixing, but just 166 00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:09.879 a shot of adrenaline in some way, and it doesn't fail that. It 167 00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:13.759 feels like we're just hooked up to life support, and the life support is 168 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:18.480 slowly not working as much as it used to. Yeah. The beeps on 169 00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:24.080 the heart monitor getting a pretty few and far between. Yeah, So, 170 00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:26.000 speaking of the beeps getting few and far between, let's talk about the next 171 00:13:26.039 --> 00:13:31.440 episode escape. Did you hear me? Maggot? I said fall in. 172 00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:39.639 I swear you must be the sorriest bunch of sad set I ever did see. 173 00:13:39.879 --> 00:13:43.320 You're a disgrace to the uniform, all of you, and you call 174 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:48.440 yourself a scare force. What's your problem? Soldier? You some kind of 175 00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:56.120 mummy's boy that it m I guess you think you're like the man in Tonight's 176 00:13:56.159 --> 00:14:01.679 tale. He's not much of a soldier. It's a nasty little shriek and 177 00:14:01.840 --> 00:14:09.480 destroy mission I call escape. So the episode aired May seventeenth, nineteen ninety 178 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:15.399 six. It is directed by Peter McDonald, written by This Is Alecats and 179 00:14:15.399 --> 00:14:18.519 Gilbert Adler. I guess I just okay, I guess we haven't seen Alecats 180 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:22.639 and Gilbert add they're writing a lot of screenplays. And this episode has Martin 181 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:31.039 Kemp and Nicholas Grace in it. And it's a episode about a Nazi prisoner 182 00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:33.519 of war who turns on his own men who are trying to escape, and 183 00:14:33.559 --> 00:14:37.919 then he gets recaptured. Any attempts to do the same thing. It's a 184 00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:41.919 lot like Yellow. It is a lot like ya. Having said that, 185 00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:45.759 pretty pretty enjoyable. Not a whiff of the supernatural, more more of the 186 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:50.159 bitter irony from ec. I think it was well made past the time, 187 00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:54.720 didn't didn't feel insulted at all. I did once we got to the the 188 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:58.200 big reveal at the end, just feel like, well, you guys did 189 00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:03.200 do this episod pisode and it was a little more grand and had Lance Hendrickson 190 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:05.159 in it. Yeah, you know that. That to me, I think 191 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:09.759 is the real The real issue is that it is as much as I'm not 192 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:11.120 a huge fan of Yellow, I mean it's not that I don't like Yellow, 193 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:15.600 but you know, Yellow is just in my opinion, Yellow is okay. 194 00:15:16.039 --> 00:15:18.759 It's not the amazing episode. I think Zameche's thought it was going to 195 00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:24.960 be. Now it's overlong by half. Oh yeah. But you know the 196 00:15:26.159 --> 00:15:30.960 issue is this episode. You know where it's going, you know what the 197 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:33.000 twist is, you know what the twist is long before they even do the 198 00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:39.759 twist. And in Yellow, the actors are so good that some of the 199 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:43.279 issues with the episode I kind of overlook them. In this episode, it's 200 00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:50.600 a lot harder to overlook those issues because the quality of actors on screen is 201 00:15:50.600 --> 00:15:54.200 not the same now, and which isn't to say that they're not doing their 202 00:15:54.279 --> 00:15:56.960 job. I think Martin camp is pretty good. I think for me, 203 00:15:58.200 --> 00:16:03.639 the problem is more that it's all well and good to make the audience accept 204 00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:07.080 a character who's sort of unseemly and let you go with them. But here 205 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:15.720 what we have is a Nazi and uh and the most cowardly of them, 206 00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:19.679 the one who sells out all of his friends and sells out anyone he can 207 00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:23.759 just to just to save his own hide. So like they're they're asking a 208 00:16:23.799 --> 00:16:27.399 lot from us to kind of begin with, so that you know, when 209 00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:33.799 the final twist comes, it's not it's not unwelcome. Yeah, you know. 210 00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:37.960 In Yellow, the main character is somewhat sympathetic. In this he's not. 211 00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:41.840 It's not he's a fucking Nazi. He's a fucking Nazi. Yeah. 212 00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:45.399 Man. Like in Yellow, we have the son of a like a the 213 00:16:45.559 --> 00:16:51.480 like the head of the US forces, who has been forced into military life, 214 00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:53.840 and it has from the get go said I don't want to do any 215 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:56.200 of this, and I'm a coward and that's the way it is, and 216 00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:00.759 gets a come up and stead isn't necessarily deserved. But here, like yeah, 217 00:17:00.799 --> 00:17:06.440 it's it's this is this is a this is a Nazi who will sell 218 00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:11.440 out Nazis and Americans no matter what, he's just he's just a despicable guy. 219 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:15.559 Now, I will point out that this is not based on Tales from 220 00:17:15.559 --> 00:17:18.960 the Crypt Shocking. It's Multipore number sixteen written and the artwork was done by 221 00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:23.400 Al Feldstein. In the original, it's a mob boss in a New York 222 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:30.680 prison and it's like a heavy labor camp in that they're constantly unloading and toting 223 00:17:30.839 --> 00:17:34.839 these bricks, and the mob boss is sick of this and he wants to 224 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:37.640 get out of there, so he's going to break out, and he arranges 225 00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:44.119 to have the prison job of the prison morgue, knowing that eventually someone's gonna 226 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:48.240 die and he's gonna sneak himself into the coffin, and he's set up with 227 00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:51.920 his cohorts that when that happens that they have to come and dig him up, 228 00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:55.880 not realizing that the bricks that he's been toting for the first part of 229 00:17:55.920 --> 00:18:00.839 the issue are for a new crematorium that that they've built. So instead, 230 00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:04.359 so he gets into the coffin and ends up being burned alive. Better, 231 00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:10.720 as far as I'm concerned, Way better, way better. An actually interesting 232 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:15.039 story with a interesting payoff. Yeah, and and really sort of trafficking and 233 00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:19.839 tails from the CRYPTI kind of avenues where he's going to be buried alive and 234 00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:22.880 you think that that's going to be it, and then he's gonna get double 235 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:26.119 crossed or something, and then nope, they just put that box right into 236 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:32.359 a their newly minted furnace. Could have been horrific instead of ironic, which 237 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.799 is the war is already over. You could have been free. I wish 238 00:18:34.839 --> 00:18:40.480 that that worked. I wish that that payoff felt earned, right. It 239 00:18:40.519 --> 00:18:44.119 didn't, because you know, they've set it up so that that character, 240 00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:48.480 the sort of brigadier general character, has been an asshole from the beginning. 241 00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:51.759 Like as the way the episode is played, he's the villain of the piece, 242 00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:56.599 so he's he's exacting revenge on this on our lead. And as much 243 00:18:56.640 --> 00:19:02.799 as I can't get behind the leads motivations, like you're just kind of left 244 00:19:02.839 --> 00:19:04.720 unsatisfied, Well, you don't know who to root for because you're not going 245 00:19:04.759 --> 00:19:08.039 to root for the Nazi, but you're also, like you said, it's 246 00:19:08.039 --> 00:19:11.359 hard to get behind a character who is kind of such a piece of garbage 247 00:19:11.359 --> 00:19:14.680 in his own right, And you know what's funny, like they had they 248 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:18.799 had this plant character pretending to be a Nazi prisoner of war who's sympathetic to 249 00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:22.119 our lead, convincing him that he needs to forge ahead with this plan of 250 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:26.599 escape, and you know it ends up being an English soldier. What's funny 251 00:19:26.599 --> 00:19:32.799 about that is like he affects a German accent to like convince this guy. 252 00:19:32.839 --> 00:19:36.240 But like, at no time did Martin Kemp just speak German to him? 253 00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:38.640 Like could the guy speak German? That's something we never really got into, 254 00:19:38.759 --> 00:19:41.920 but like these are little details and always sort of stick in my crawl. 255 00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:45.359 Well, if he had spoken German to him, the jig would have been 256 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:49.680 up so exactly. But that's an issue. Deal with that issue. Oh, 257 00:19:49.720 --> 00:19:52.079 I completely agree. I mean, I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm 258 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:56.720 just being a smart as you know. It's a it should have been something 259 00:19:56.720 --> 00:20:00.319 that they confronted outright, but of course they didn't, which means when the 260 00:20:00.359 --> 00:20:04.039 twist comes, you know what the twist is going to be. Yeah, 261 00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:07.680 I mean, I guess that guy's the most sympathetic character in it, right, 262 00:20:07.319 --> 00:20:11.200 He's just doing his job, I guess so, But we're also not 263 00:20:11.319 --> 00:20:17.079 given enough from him as a character. To really know anything about him. 264 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:21.319 Yeah, it's it's weird when they do these episodes that are character pieces. 265 00:20:21.359 --> 00:20:25.319 You only have one or two main characters, and we don't know anything more 266 00:20:25.359 --> 00:20:27.200 about them at the end of than we did when we started. Yeah, 267 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:30.480 and then you get to the end of the episode and you wonder to yourself, 268 00:20:30.759 --> 00:20:33.839 Okay, who was I supposed to be invested in? Who was I 269 00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:37.880 supposed to be rooting for? Here? Do I care that the main character 270 00:20:37.960 --> 00:20:41.799 gets shot in a coffin? Like I do? I even care? Know 271 00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:44.720 he's a Nazi, so I don't even care. Yeah, it's a matter 272 00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:49.400 of well, I just watched some events occurring and I there it was, 273 00:20:49.720 --> 00:20:53.039 and like, yeah, it's it's well made, it's you know, look, 274 00:20:53.119 --> 00:20:57.200 ultimately, I think this is the episode that would have been made of 275 00:20:57.799 --> 00:21:03.160 yellow. Had Zamakas not said I'm going to do a full blown, one 276 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:06.319 hour long episode as a pilot for another series, it would have been this 277 00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:11.880 small scale. But I do feel like had they adhered more toward the source 278 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:15.079 material, it would have been a better payoff. Well, they had the 279 00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:17.720 coffin, even if he was a Nazi, Like, yeah, I mean 280 00:21:18.119 --> 00:21:22.200 burning alive is pretty nightmarish. Well, I think the other thing that they 281 00:21:22.200 --> 00:21:25.440 could have done, if they wanted to still do this story but kind of 282 00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:30.359 do a little bit of course correction, would be make the character a Allied 283 00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:34.759 pow and watch him turn on his own people because he knows he's saving his 284 00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:41.319 own skin. Then he is a character who deserves the punishment, and you 285 00:21:41.319 --> 00:21:44.920 could have been invested in him even slightly. Yeah, that's a that's a 286 00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:48.319 really good point, because something about the Nazi uniform is just off putting from 287 00:21:48.359 --> 00:21:52.119 the get go. Yeah. I mean no, I mean, no one 288 00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:56.200 in their right mind, especially in current day and age, is going to 289 00:21:56.240 --> 00:22:00.640 go out of their way to root toward the Nazis. Yeah, man, 290 00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:06.119 and uh yeah, I mean look tells from the crypt Is. It's no 291 00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:11.440 stranger to unsympathetic leads. We get them all the time, and your mileage 292 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:14.000 may vary on whether or not they deserve what they get at the end. 293 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:17.960 But in this case, I'm like, yeah, okay, good shoot him. 294 00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:19.319 Yeah, I mean, I have no why didn't you just do that 295 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:22.799 to begin with? Not a sympathetic bone in my body. Regarding Martin Kemp's 296 00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:26.759 character, he's dead, good riddens. He gets what he deserves, right, 297 00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:30.039 I mean, he gets what he deserves. Yeah, but you know, 298 00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:32.799 they could have done that in the first five minutes. They could have 299 00:22:32.839 --> 00:22:36.400 done that while they were escaping and just said, oops, we thought he 300 00:22:36.440 --> 00:22:38.160 was running. Well, that's the thing. You pick up this episode right 301 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:42.559 at the beginning with Martin Kemp and he is running with the rest of his 302 00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:48.720 soldiers escaping from the first prison, and with the way that the episode starts, 303 00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:51.799 it kind of it's kind of just jarring becus like wait, what, 304 00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:56.160 okay, what's going on? And then you don't really get to see him 305 00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:00.200 betray his compatriots. I mean, you see the act, but you don't 306 00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:03.839 see the build up to his betrayal. You don't see any camaraderie between them, 307 00:23:03.880 --> 00:23:07.480 which is what would have I don't know. I mean, maybe that 308 00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:11.640 was a smart move because already we're dealing with the stumbling block of fascism. 309 00:23:12.119 --> 00:23:18.720 So the less we see of him actually betraying people he knows and likes and 310 00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:22.839 like him better. Well. The other funny thing is, similarly to the 311 00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:29.319 episode with the monkeys Paw, it hasn't opening that while it does play into 312 00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:33.039 the final story of the episode, it also takes away time from the final 313 00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:34.880 story of the episode. Yeah, I mean, this is not a James 314 00:23:34.920 --> 00:23:38.880 Bond movie. We don't need to see the last bit of his previous mission. 315 00:23:40.200 --> 00:23:42.720 Right. This cold open shit is getting old, it is. Yeah, 316 00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:48.359 And particularly given how economical they need to be with the amount of time 317 00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:52.519 given, it does seem like a weird left turn to be taking for no 318 00:23:52.599 --> 00:23:56.400 good reason other than confusion. And you know, we don't know anything about 319 00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:00.759 any of the characters or situations coming in anyway, I don't need further muddying 320 00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:03.720 of the waters. Well. And also given the fact that in a TV 321 00:24:03.799 --> 00:24:08.839 show like Tales from the Crypt, a TV show that is an anthology weekly 322 00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:15.920 anthology television series, you have wraparounds already, you can't do a cold open. 323 00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:21.680 That is not how this format works, right. That is a that 324 00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:29.640 is completely against the logic of what a quote anthology TV series is. The 325 00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:33.279 cold open is the fucking crypt Keeper, right, And I've noticed that Kevin 326 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:37.400 Yeager is back directing the segments, which is welcome. Yeah. I think 327 00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:41.920 the crypt Keeper looks as good as he's ever looked this season. I think 328 00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:45.079 he may have come back for last season as well. But there was a 329 00:24:45.119 --> 00:24:52.160 season there that was maybe five where either Gilkats or Alcats or Gilbert Adler were 330 00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:57.200 directing the crypt Keeper sequences and it it felt stiff, And here it's as 331 00:24:57.319 --> 00:25:00.440 lively as it has ever been. Well, the other thing is, you 332 00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:06.440 know, it's a nice change from the crip Keeper puppet we saw on Ritual. 333 00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:10.160 Oh yeah, I mean, I'm glad we watched that movie in between 334 00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:15.039 seasons, so I can really appreciate, like the dynamic job that the puppeteers 335 00:25:15.079 --> 00:25:18.160 are doing here. Oh yeah, I mean you know this. You know, 336 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:22.519 while these wrap around segments don't really make a lot of sense, they 337 00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:26.559 seem to be going more and more nonsensical as we have gotten farther with that. 338 00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:32.279 You know that idea with the show where every episode has an opening segment, 339 00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:37.480 and those opening segments sometimes tie in, sometimes they don't. There they 340 00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:40.759 seem to be tying in less and less. Yeah, I mean, it's 341 00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:44.160 a far cry from and All through the House where he trudges in in a 342 00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:48.599 Santa suit and then tells us about Christmas and what's to come. This just 343 00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:52.079 seems to be a bunch of non sequiturs. And oh and by the way, 344 00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:53.640 I have a new tail for you. Yeah, I think is it 345 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:57.240 which is it one of these episodes where he goes to space? Is that? 346 00:25:57.480 --> 00:26:02.839 Is that one of these Yeah? Yeah, where yes the Countdown rocket 347 00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:06.079 Ship. We don't even get a sci fi episode after Yeah, Like, 348 00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:11.200 I just it's it's so weird to me because it just doesn't work at all 349 00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:15.559 with the rest of the episode and it doesn't have to write. But in 350 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:18.880 the past it had been kind of setting the tone, and I would personally 351 00:26:19.160 --> 00:26:26.920 argue it's important to set the tone and the theme for the episode with these 352 00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:32.359 wraparounds, oh a hundred percent. I mean that's always been the failing of 353 00:26:32.519 --> 00:26:37.559 any anthology, right that. You know, you get invested in a set 354 00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:38.839 of characters, in a plot line, and then it's gone and now we 355 00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:44.440 have to re up. So it was always nice when the crypt Keeper was 356 00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:48.400 easing us into the tail instead of just throwing it at us. And this 357 00:26:48.599 --> 00:26:52.240 is not what the show is doing anymore. It's just seemingly doing whatever it 358 00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:56.119 wants, and it seems less about whatever it wants and more about what looks 359 00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:57.279 cool, Like, oh, what can we do now? We'll put the 360 00:26:57.359 --> 00:27:00.160 crypt Keeper and Uncle Sam out for it, or we'll put him in a 361 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:06.799 spaceship. It's like, okay, yeah, I mean it's it seems like 362 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:11.839 leftover gags, right, like they had wanted to do gas gags. Yeah, 363 00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:15.880 gags for episodes that don't exist. Yeah, that John Carpenter. It's 364 00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:18.480 like that John Carpenter album that came out a couple of years ago, theme 365 00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:22.240 songs for movies that don't exist. Essentially, that's what these are, wraparounds 366 00:27:22.319 --> 00:27:26.519 for episodes that never happened. Yeah, I mean you could literally put anything 367 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:30.960 after what comes at the beginning. It's it's kind of crazy. Yeah, 368 00:27:30.039 --> 00:27:33.519 other than the fact that they explain what happens in the episode, it has 369 00:27:33.640 --> 00:27:38.759 nothing to do with the episode, and it's buzzare It's just bizarre, and 370 00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:42.680 it doesn't it doesn't. It just doesn't work for me. Again, it's 371 00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:47.000 getting to the point now where I'm watching these crypt keeper segments and this is 372 00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:51.400 gonna sound sacrilegious. I'm watching a him just like I don't really care anymore. 373 00:27:51.599 --> 00:27:53.759 Like you, It's it's hard to care when this has nothing to do 374 00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:56.640 with anything. It certainly has gotten to the point of Okay, just get 375 00:27:56.720 --> 00:28:00.680 to the episode, just start. And what's really sad is the episodes are 376 00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:03.880 you know, since you know what I would say about halfway through season five, 377 00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:11.400 the episodes are starting to and have been really disappointing and feel lazy and 378 00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:15.000 just good enough, and that didn't really bleed into the wraparounds, but all 379 00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:19.039 of a sudden it has been. It's systemic. It is. It is 380 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:23.319 the malaise baked into this show. At a cellular level, I guess is 381 00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:26.640 that at one point they were just gonna throw their hands up and say, 382 00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:32.440 well, nothing else, this is it. We're just gonna do weird wraparounds 383 00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:37.319 with the crypt Keeper being weird. And have I mentioned that you should skip 384 00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:44.000 the previous episode, do not watch the Murderous Tale, and I'm gonna slight 385 00:28:44.039 --> 00:28:51.279 Case of Murder and I don't know, I'm soft watch maybe on Escape given 386 00:28:51.359 --> 00:28:55.400 what has previously come, I'm going to compare episodes and judge it that way. 387 00:28:55.640 --> 00:28:59.079 I would say skip and watch Yellow instead. Yeah, okay, well 388 00:28:59.319 --> 00:29:02.559 if we're doing that, yeah, I go watch Yellow. You'll at least 389 00:29:02.599 --> 00:29:06.440 get some It's not like you can't watch Yellow, right, and you'll at 390 00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:07.680 least get some grandeur out of that one. And you know, look, 391 00:29:07.759 --> 00:29:12.279 I don't remember this season very well. Frankly, I don't remember it at 392 00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:15.359 all. I think this is the season I may not have ever watched. 393 00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:19.920 Like I've said before, I remember the final episode of this season. But 394 00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:26.240 man, season's bumming me out. Man. Yeah, I had high hopes 395 00:29:26.279 --> 00:29:29.440 coming in. I haven't seen any of these episodes. I did see the 396 00:29:29.720 --> 00:29:33.720 final one, because that was pretty well advertised, I think at the time. 397 00:29:33.799 --> 00:29:36.839 But I think I tuned in one time to Tellson a crypt and saw 398 00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:40.839 that there were English people and it felt entirely different to me, and then 399 00:29:40.880 --> 00:29:44.759 I turned it off. That was years and years ago. So I went 400 00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:48.960 in to this particular season with higher hopes than maybe we're warranted, and higher 401 00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:56.559 hopes than it may be deserved. Oh definitely, definitely that Well, all 402 00:29:56.680 --> 00:30:00.640 I knows is on the next episode of Chronicles from the Rip, we're gonna 403 00:30:00.640 --> 00:30:04.279 be talking about two more episodes from season seven, episode five and six, 404 00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:10.000 Horror in the Night and Cold War and guess who's in Cold War? You 405 00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:15.559 and McGregor yes, and Jane Horrocks from Absolutely Fabulous and Colin Salmon as well. 406 00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:18.160 I believe, oh yeah from Resident Evil should be great right based on 407 00:30:18.200 --> 00:30:25.440 the cast. Sure, but we know it won't be unfortunately. I mean 408 00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:27.720 I have high hopes, but I know they're going to be dashed, just 409 00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:32.400 based on the fact that I guess everybody gave up all of a sudden. 410 00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:36.839 So this is an abusive relationship, but it feels like we just keep coming 411 00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:40.200 back for more. So until then, Father Malone, where can people find 412 00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:42.759 you? You can check me out over at father Malone dot com. I 413 00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:48.240 have a podcast called Dark Destinations. It's a travellog to towns that never existed. 414 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:52.039 You can check out my YouTube channel at five Films and you can hear 415 00:30:52.119 --> 00:30:56.359 me over on Dreams for Sale, the Twilight Zone eighty five podcast that Chris 416 00:30:56.440 --> 00:31:00.880 and I do with our man in Detroit, Mike White. He's our man 417 00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.160 on the streets. He's on the ground in Detroit. It's out there doing 418 00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:07.240 doing the good work. As for me, you can find me on Twitter 419 00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:12.559 at Christmas Clause. I changed my name on Twitter because as much as I 420 00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:15.839 like my name, when it comes to talking about tales from the Crypt, 421 00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:18.880 it's probably not the best optics wise to have your name be in the middle 422 00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:26.680 of a pandemic casualty. Chris, So I have changed my name to something 423 00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:30.799 a lot more holly jolly, and it's Christmas Clause without the tea, so 424 00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:33.559 you can find me on Twitter at Christmas Clause. You can find the podcast 425 00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:41.119 on the Internet at Chronicles FTC and also on the Internet at Chronicles from the 426 00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:45.799 Crypt dot com. We are on Twitter at Chronicles FTC. Big thanks as 427 00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:49.519 always to John Cassire for the intro for the Chronicles from the Crypt podcast, 428 00:31:49.799 --> 00:31:52.240 and we'll catch you on the next episode.