Made a decision face sunny sunrd on I hadagion, nat Hey, everybody was
up. It's it's we're late. I'm sorry, back off, Get off
my back, everybody. You're gonna have a show though, I mean right
now, it's Wednesday morning, and you're gonna have a show really soon,
right like any second, hot little ears, any second. And the quicker
we talk, Yeah, the faster, Kaylen will get it out into the
Yeah, let's really quickly say hi to our friends. We have friends.
Leslie who's still still coughing. Okay, Leslie, we've got to get her
in amazon truckload of cough drops. I think that's a good idea. Also
the other Aaron, I mean Leslie, who's accosting people every where you go,
Like, come on, yeah, it's enough already. We need to
put some safety measures in place for Yeah, the people at seven eleven Aikia,
all the hotspots al come one from the city of Alvante. Kelly Brandt,
she is your aunt, Yeah, Rebecca, nobody, it's so cute,
she really is. She as uh vpit talk about adorable. Yes,
Missy and Gabby just come on now, get your ship together. Yeah,
Katerina just went under had oral surgery. She did, she wasn't listening to
us. Valerie Bubba Fenwick hits it out of the park, Polly, we
love your pancakes and your and Athena Ginshured, we love your dancing and all
your great makeup skincare products. Elizabeth Williamson. Every time I'm on Facebook,
I hear another thing about another one of her kids. So kids is she
up to now? I think she has seven? Wow, I'm not kidding.
Uh yeah? And Jacob Crowley is Joe Crowley? And Riada'm so cute?
Why the long basset hound face? Ah? And yeah? And Nikki
call your girl? And Aaron who is? And not? Anna Faris?
And Katie's rolling on e and Amy's a you know what? Kelly Luddy Ashley,
you're so she Stephanie's a stinker wrinker Christ to get the strap, Sandra
not easy being green, Jennifer, get up, Aaron dirty Sanchez and Sarah
Stefano Sano Pisano. Yep, it's expensive to be me? Did you know
it's expensive to be me? Caylin, you don't know what he has no
clue what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's Erica Jane right. Oh,
my god, you do. I told you I watched this season of Real
Housewives with an Amy. She pisses me off more than any other person on
reality TV. Oh well, then you should watch the documentary She's got.
I started watching this documentary on her on First of all, Peacock. Can
we talk about that for a second. Sure, If I stranded on a
desert island and they said you could only have one thing, I would take
an iPad with the Peacock app. That's all I need. No food,
I'll go find food. I'll go shoot a pig or make a like you
know, bow and arrow out of shit and like make get some coconuts,
but some coconuts, get some coconana milks. Yeah, you're actually making me
hungry. The survivor, Stephanie. But I would love that. I cannot
start. Peacock's got a lot and they're not our sponsor, but they got
a lot of good ship all the Ultimate Girls trips. Yes they do do.
They have all the housewives. They have all of them, every last
one of them. They have, Like because I think Miami's only on Peacock
the Housewives which Salt Lake City? Have you ever watched those bitches? I
watched the first season of it, and then I lost interest, but I
heard went crazy it is season I started at season You know what I do
Sometimes I go to the reunion show and then I'll just watch a little bit
of the reunion. I'll go, oh, whow, this looks like a
lot. This looks like a lot of drama. So then I started at
season two of Salt of Salt, because I did watch the first season on
it. I was like, yeah, I get I get it. She
doesn't like to smell a hospital whatever. And the other one is, you
know, Jerry Sure, Yes, she is married to her grandpa. Yes,
Okay, I got that. And then the other two are annoying as
fuck. And I don't know which one's which because they both look the same
and they talk really weird. Meredith and one other one, yes, Lisa
Barlow, Yeah, talks like this, and the other one talks like this
right right right there. Uh, and they're just flashy, flashy. And
then there's the main one saw you you know, the FBI. Yeah,
she's a criminal in jail. I hated her, by the way, but
now that I'm watching him, I'm like what Because I went in like ready
to hate her. And that's kind of the reason why I wanted to watch
it, because I watched her documentary on No Notes. Yeah, on Peacock
there's a gen Shaw doc about everything that she did, and I was like,
what a despicable woman. And then I started watching salt Lake and I'm
like, well, she's not that bad, Like I could hang with her.
No, I couldn't. Actually, I take that back. She is
pretty bad, but she's good TV. I'll put it that way. But
so then you got so anyway, you got all the salt Like. But
I was watching the Betted on Blonde doc that's eric watch that. I didn't
watch it, but that's the one that's like a puff piece for her,
right, I guess, yes, of course. And I just like,
why is she still make Why is she making money? I know on the
backs of these victims that I mean at the bottom line is Tom Girardi put
twenty one million dollars into her bank account. It doesn't matter how you is
that what your perspective is. That's a fact, okay, And that money
was dirty money. So whatever she says, whether she knew about it or
not, she knows about it now and she knows that he put obviously hiding
twenty one million dollars in her bank account, and she feels very entitled to
all that money because like, fuck the victims. In her mind, she
was like, well I didn't do it, I know. So it's like
she's, okay, so you should have a glam squad because hey, I
didn't know that was going on. That's money that Tom gave me fair and
square. But he didn't he didn't have that money to give you, right,
right, So I well, I like watching people I hate, Yeah,
I do too. So I started watching it because last night I've been
having a hard time sleeping and I want to watch something that kind of Usually
i'll watch a dateline or a twenty twenty or something that just puts me out.
But I turned on Peacock and I didn't know it was on there,
and I was like, what's this? And I started watching it and in
the first scene, like she's doing yeah this documentary style, she's in her
home, her little condo, with her dog, and there's a knock on
the door at night, and it's like Erica Jane, you know, she
got like served papers or no, she got somebody wanted to talk to her
regarding her husband or something from the public Defender's office, and I was like,
that's fucking cooked if I've ever seen it. At ten o'clock at night,
all of a sudden, somebody's and you got a film crew in your
living room, come on, like so already, I was like, Ugh,
she just disgusted me. But the worst is like her songs, like
what is she? Her songs are like I wrote it down like that her
lyrics to like her first song, you like sex and I like drugs,
and she says it like four times over, you like sex and I like
jukes. You like sex and I like jukes, And it's like, Wow,
you're a real Linda Ron's dad. Jesus prolific fired today. I know,
I feel like I have a lot of good and I don't know why
if I was in a good I told you I was in a good one.
I've been working out. Oh you know, I was literally thinking this
morning, I'm like, you know, I'm really not consistent about the gym.
It's like I go back. I have all the best intentions, and
I go once and then like every day I have an excuse why I can
I know, and then I go again. We forget about it, and
then I go, oh, I went to the gym again, right,
two weeks. In two weeks, I'm gonna start going every day. And
then the next day I'm like, I'm tired. I like you were saying
the other day, You're like, I forgot. I've just forgot about it.
Like days go by, I'm like, oh shit, I should have
gone to the gym, should have worked out, right, Yeah, I
forget to exercise. But yeah, we can talk about that later. But
back to Erica, Yes, so she just I just her. I don't
get I thought maybe you watched it. I just don't get what her residency
is, Like how many songs does she have? Does she even have an
album of songs? And who's going to see her? Who's aaymen? Gay
men? They're amen to gay men, and you know what else? I
feel like even the gay men love her ironically right, same way they love
It's not like straight ahead thinking she's an amazing I can't imagine, right game
and yeah, are smart and have good taste, absolutely, so they must
be finding the humor in it. I agree. I just was just curious,
what help can she cobble together? A Vegas show? Like how many
songs does she really have? Who's going to see? Like, oh,
I can't wait till she plays my favorite, which is what like I mean,
I guess I'm out of her demo, but still it's like an even
expensive to be me what is that song? And also how long is it?
It's like a minute and thirty seconds. My favorite thing about it is
how she how seriously she takes herself, so you know, she's she thinks
she's Madonna, and not just because of the whole prayer thing ahead of her
shows, but also because of the way they always show her in the studio
and she's like, I'm working, you know, I'm learning the dance moves,
and it's like pata puss, pata puss, you know, and and
then bend over so we can like look between your guys that you're at,
like it's like that's what you're eight hours in the studio working on. Like
nobody cares. Nobody who cares about Eric and Jake? Listen. I am
a player hater and I hate the game. Okay, so I know I
ain't trying to put you know, a woman down that's trying to, you
know, make it, but she is despicable person. It's not Sanna Jackson.
She's not on her comeback tour. She's a real housewife in her fifties
and she's talking about her pus, I know, in her fifty yuck Like,
she's just so grid as, don't I don't know who audience is,
you know, I just don't get how you get a residency at the at
the hard Rock or where not the is it the House of Blues, which
is pretty big. I thought she was like at the Rio or something,
or like at the Palace Station, but no, she's like at you know,
a big hotel at the Mandalay Bay is where she is at. Yeah,
I just don't. I just don't get it. I guess I am
a blaator. But were you and I talking about this or now I'm confused
if I was talking about it with Cecily on Rose Pricks. But I heard
that she was just a nightmare. Did I tell you this now at House
of Blues? No? So somebody I was reading some stuff I read it
about her that she that every they were asking somebody asked, is Erica Jane
still here? And they're like, no, that show ended. But everybody
thought she was a complete nightmare and she thinks she's hugely famous, and she
asked for security to walk her to the elevator. I guess the House of
Blues is either is like way up. Maybe it's on the roof of a
hotel. So for her when she was going to leave, she didn't want
like, you know, the plebeians trying to talk to her or asking for
her autographs. So and that this was the person who works there at the
House of Blues was saying it was like the biggest nightmare and everybody, all
the people that worked there hated her, and that it was worse than They're
like, it was worse than any famous actual famous people don't behave like that,
right, They're like, she was being like a total diva thing unbelievable.
You are you the real housewives I know? And married to a disgraced
attorney? Yes, okay, Like, yeah, calm the fuck down.
If your puss talk and I like sex, you like sex and I like
drugs. She could have said it the other way around too, It's like,
what are you a drug addict? Right? You? The sex couldn't
kitten? You should have been saying it may would have made more sense in
your poetry of lyrics. But if you said I like sex and you like
drug, right, like, I would have worked a lot better. But
she does anybody she find out to somebody, because that's a good point.
Yeah, to turn it around, flip it. Somebody needs to give her
notes. And that Mickey guy ain't doing any any good for her. He's
crying and everything. In the first scene, I just it was like,
you know, he's given us Mickey is I know sorry I talked. Do
you mean Mikey Is it Mikey Mikey her like choreographer, her guys like yes,
bit, yes, yeah, yeah. The first scene, he's crying
out under a lot of stress and he just wants to make a great show.
God bless him for sticking with her. But wow, it's just I
don't know, it's just I watch. I don't know what it is with
me, but I get triggered by like I would love to watch vander Pump,
but I don't because I don't like Lisa vander Pump. But she's oh
yeah, yeah yeah, And it's because her and her husband bugged the crap
out of me when they were on Housewives. Him with his you know,
always got a dog in his hand and he's with his pink shirt following her
around like a muppet, and then her and her big pink rolls Royce and
sh It's like, look at me, look how rich I I just it.
I don't know why that triggers me. It's uncomfortable. Most of these
people are hate heable, I know. But then I old episode, Uh
well, I fell asleep, and then the thing just keeps going. There
was an old episode of Real Housewives when she was doing the Yulan protest.
Yeah, and then I like her. Then I'm like, you know what
she she puts her you know, she she's doing some good in life.
She's trying to save dogs, like and then she opened a dog shelter,
and I'm like, why do I hate her so much like she does?
I guess, you know, I don't know. But then I see her
and it's just like she's just just like, look, look look at me.
And then those fucking insufferable housewives on Salt Lake City, they're another piece
everything is about. Is that your Chanel purse? Oh? Is that the
new Louis Vutan shoes? Is that the new this that? It's like,
really is that all you got? I know, you're in front of a
camera crew. But like, I don't know. I didn't even get interviewed
to be on the Real Housewives like years ago. But you're the one.
No, I got an email. I think it came through you, though
I don't think so. No. No, well, remember you had somebody
a friend in casting. Oh and it was around the time I got I
should look for that email. Yes, I got an email and they were
like they were interested, I guess. And we just moved to you know,
by Pasadena, and I'm like, I don't. They're like they wanted
to see pictures of our house. I was like, okay, it's a
small house, like Spanish style. It's not Erica Jane house, you know.
And I'm like, okay, here's the long hallway. And I sent
it and then they wanted somebody more in it, like that had more.
I guess I had was into it, but I was on the fact.
I just did it just to see if they would bite. But I wouldn't.
I don't think I could ever bring myself to be a housewife, would
you. Oh God, no, no way, I don't. I don't.
I barely like being a podcaster. The level of public scrutiny would just
be insane. Yeah, I couldn't take it. Every time I watch even
like The Bachelor Love is Blind, Like, I love to hate on these
people too. I always think like, once you do that and then everybody
hates you because most of the time they don't like you. Right, it's
very rare that you're everybody's hero. Yeah, nobody wants a hero. No,
they want to hate on you, yes, so, And I'm sure
they could find a million reasons to hate on me. People already do and
they you know me not famous me too. So I feel like, how
are you ever going to get over that? Like how do you get that
stink off you? Right? Like, once you've been on Love is Blind
and you're like, is it worth it to get the Instagram followers? Where
now when people think of you, they go, oh, that's that girl
from love is that did blah blah blah? And I would be that person
going, you, guys, there's editing, like you don't understand, Like
there's a lot of stuff that you don't see. That would be I would
you feel like making fake accounts? And I'd be like that bitch got a
really good edit. You don't understand this guy? You know what those stuff
you didn't see. He was the real but what you didn't know was yet
totally I know, and I would just bury my head in the stand,
like you know, like I get it, Like you know, we love
to talk shit on these housewives and then we complain about ourselves, and you
know, we were like, well, you shouldn't be a podcaster, or
you shouldn't be you know, it's always whatever. But but it's good content
for a podcast about these bitches. I you know what else I find interesting?
We should maybe we should we take it? Should we take a break?
Sure? You know what I find interesting is Thrive. Oh my gosh,
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I have a whole bunch of colors. I have a pale pink, a
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Boom boom. You know what else I find interesting is uh a lot of
gay men going back to them love middle aged housewives, not just Erica Jane
right, you know what I mean. It's just I think back. I
just find it interesting. You know how I love watching Andy Cohen at these
reunions. I try to figure out who does Andy? I love him so
much. I try to figure out like which one, Oh he doesn't the
way he doesn't like, he don't like now Dori, sure don't yawn.
It's turning into a running joke. I was just watching the season kind of
like, you know, a little bit on and off, going like,
oh, Duri, she seems like the normal one here, she seems totally
great. And then I watched the reunion. I was like, oh no,
no, I misread that one. Yeah, now I know, you
know she's a hit and miss I guess. But apparently she loves to talk
right to talk, apparently very long winded very long winded, and I know
those types. And when he yawns and does that, I just you know,
you know, yeah, she's like, stop it, stop it Andy,
and they did it. They cut back to the past two reunions.
It's becoming a running joke now, which is hilarious. But I just I
I yeah, so I try and find out, like figure out, oh
he doesn't like her, Oh he really likes her, and blah blah blah.
I don't know. I just find it interesting that. And I was
remembering Adam's old publicist, Lennon Alex who they were reality stars by the way.
They were on like Amazing Race and oh yeah, yeah they were married
and they were early like like the third season or something, and then they
did the All Stars Amazing. I love those two and how much they loved
me just because it was a house. So I you know what I mean,
I just it just finds it interesting that why I find it endearing that
gay men are enamored with middle aged women, like I don't know, just
interesting. Well they also love to hate them too, search ones, you
know, well all yeah, I mean that's like remember Ronnie and Ben from
Watch What Crappens? Yes, and years ago when we used to talk housewives
all the time. I'm sure there's some people right now rolling their eyes going
not this again, don't worry. This is one episode. But remember people
turned me on to watch what Crappens and I started listening and I was like,
oh my god, these guys are hilarious. And then we had them
on our show. We had a really good time. And then Ronnie and
I became friends and started like, uh doing I would guess on his show
sometimes, and then we started doing rose pricks together, so I had an
yeah. But now and now they're huge. Watch up Crappens is like a
top two hundred across them on You got any connections? Sure do, Sure
do. It's funny because so Angel Lookita more so when Ronnie had to quit
because his podcast was getting too big, so he felt so bad. Also,
it was COVID, so there weren't even new seasons, so we were
doing this listen to your heart and then then they did these this whole Bachelor
season that was the goat greatest of all time, and then they would show
a whole season in an episode and Ronnie was just like kill me now,
like I can't cover this shit, you know, and I was like,
I get it. So then he ended up quitting and then I brought in
my friend, Angel Lakita Moore. Now, Angel Lakita Moore was my friend.
I knew her from back in the day from stand up and you know,
she had a few podcasts and she was doing some stuff and I asked
her if she would come do it with me, and she said yes,
and then so we did it for a little while. Then she booked a
pilot, but Angel More, well that was a while ago, and then
the pilot didn't go. But she was just she's always really busy, m
so little quick Angel Wikita Moore story. So she really likes me, and
I think that's why she said. Yes, it wasn't really for the money,
but it was always kind of an inconvenience to her, Like it was
always a surprise to her or her every week that she had to watch The
Bachelor again the whole two hours and take notes. Yeah, because the first
time she was like, well, I'm just gonna like watch it and then
like you know, we'll just talk about it, and I'm like, no,
we have to recap it, like because she'd have already forgotten and she
didn't see prior seasons. She was never interested, which I totally understand.
Yeah, but it was also great because there was a lot of like racial
stuff going on that year. That's the year that Chris Harrison like had that
unfortunate interview with Rachel Lindsay and so it was great to have Angel, who's
African American, like break some of this stuff down. But anyway, so
Angel was just like, let me just do the least work possible. You
know, I'm gonna watch this. Also, Angel has four boys, four
kids, all boys, a lot of energy. They were young at the
time too, so she was like exhausted at the end of the day,
Like poor thing. Yeah she was. She was kind of in the mail
room doing a bunch of other stuff. So it was like catch her where
you can, right, So sometimes she would hop on the podcast and be
doing like making herself a snack. Like I'm saying, I'm talking like clattering
dishes around, and you know, the audience doesn't love that. No,
I'm not being fans of dishes. So one time somebody started a thread on
Rose Pricks discuss where they were like what is Angel doing, Like it's so
loud, like she making a four course meal and they were kind of being
funny, but like also sometimes she would sometimes she would like have a mouthful
of muffin. You know, she thought, I'm not kidding. She'd be
like, like eating a muffin and I'd be like, oh, like Angel,
but you know, so somebody started that thread and she got so mad.
She clapped back really hard, and she was like, you know what,
I've got four kids, I've got eight jobs. Like you're lucky,
I'm here. Why don't you get it? Why don't you help Stephanie get
a different co host if you don't like it so much? I'm mad?
And I had to be like, Angel, listen, this is just how
people are podcast. Don't worry about it. Yeah. But anyway, she
eventually was like I got this pilot and then was like, I don't think
I can do it. So then I hired my friend Cecily right and who
we were already doing bored af But anyway, cut to I don't know,
like a year or two later. Now I feel like you have to have
heard this song one Mark, give me one Margarita. I'm a put at
it. That's Angelakita more so, that's her song. That's her song.
How does she do a song? Just writes, I don't know. But
she said she'll come in and be a guest on our podcast how she can
talk about it. So this was the most famous I've ever felt to my
kids. So I think I know quite a few semi famous people. My
kids don't give a shirt. They did not give a shit about anybody I
know. No with Bot, what's the same, Bob oden Kirk, No,
they don't care. But the one time that one Margarita was either I
guess it was on the radio or something and or they were playing it off
of TikTok or something, and I was like, oh, that's my friend
Angel and my all three of the first of all was Sadie and Sander.
They're like wait what and I said, yeah, that's my friend Angel.
They're like that's your friend and I said yeah. She was the host of
Rose Pricks with me for a few years. And Xander's like, holy shit,
what are you talking about? What that's the same Angel. I was
like yes, And suddenly they're texting all their friends. Holy shit, my
mom knows the woman whose song is the one Margarita. And then they text
Lbie and Elbie writes back, what So then I text Angel and I was
like, uh, you just gave me the most clout right I've ever had
with my kids. And anyway, she was cracking up. So how does
that song? What is the one? Margarita I'm gonna open my legs.
Give me two Margaritas, I'm gonna give you some head. Give me three.
Margarita's I'm gonna put it in my puss, Give it four, Margarita's
I'm gonna put it in my tush. My god, yeah, sorry that
was dirty, but no, that's but that's the song. No, I
don't will you? Can you play something? It's gonna take me away?
Okay? All right, well we can talk about any Can we play out
our episode with that song? Yes we can, Kyl, I don't know,
but who's gonna Who's gonna shut us down? We'll play it out.
I'm making it. It's news, okay, Caylen. It's a party pooper
in trouble. I don't want to get podcast off the air way to kill
my buzz. I was enjoying myself this morning. I don't even know it.
All right, give me mother and Margaret. But it was to sing
I'm not trying to be a tattletale. But Patrick and Dylan, Yeah,
they played McCartney silly loves songs as their freaking themes. I asked, I
asked Dylan, I go, what what's I do? They license the Beatles?
And Dylan's like, I don't give a ship. What are the Beatles
gonna come after us? Yeah? He's got a point. Yeah, but
Kaylin, have you ever tried to stop them? I don't work on their
show, so it's not used to. I used to. Yeah, and
at the time, were you like, guys, I didn't even know where
that song came from. You've never heard that song before? I know it
is Paul McCartney. Yeah, I'm not a very fan of the Beatles,
so I don't know a lot of their music, all right, who actually
trauma is right? I'm not a fan of the Beatles, Like how dare
you? What? An attack? What kind of monster? Crazy? How?
What? Who could say that? It's like it's not my favorite band
of all time? I don't. I don't not like the Beatles, like
I don't think, I don't hear the music. Go this sucks. But
I'm never in a mood where I go, oh, you know, What
I really want to listen to her now is the Beatles. That's never happened.
Even my kids, Sadie loves the Beatles. Oh my kids love the
Beatles totally. Yeah. Yeah, tell you burst into tears when you heard
Here Comes the Sun with their Friend song. Yeah, Yes, here we
go. Give me. I'm give me one Margrita. I'm gonna open my
legs. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna put it. Give me,
I'm gonna put it in my give me, I'm gonna get some fun.
Give me, give me one Margarita. I'm an open Wow. That's right.
Now, that's a song Erica Jane. Fuck you see, I mean
that's a clever lyrics. If you're gonna be dirty, make it fun and
interesting, exactly the same thing four times in a row and call it a
day. Yeah, you like sex and I like drugs? Fuck? How
did she do that? We gotta have her on. I really want to.
I want to know. I gotta get to the bottom of it.
I know I don't remember like the story exactly. I think she made the
video herself and then somebody was like, do you want to do a remix
of it? And she was like Okay, do you want to like produce
it in a studio and she was like sure, and then it just went
hugely viral. Wow, I have an idea for you. And she's also
just a really funny yeresson. Yeah. Yeah, and she and you'd like
her to because she's been married to her husband for like a lot of long
term relationship. They have funny They have a podcast called this is going to
Start an Argument? Oh she has another podcast. Yeah, she's a YouTube
show clus this start This will start an argument. Okay, that's with her
husband. They do a lot of like content together and that's cute. Obviously
a mom, that's awesome. Yeah. I had an idea talking to Sonny.
He was telling me something. You know those videos of those the black
kids listening to like classic rock and it blows their mind. Yeah, love
that. I sit there sometimes go watch that all day. So it's like
they listen to Bruce Springsteen and like, okay, okay, damn all right,
shit, okay, okay, okay, it's the best. Okay,
So okay, anyway, I thought you and I should listen to I was
telling Senny, how about if Stephanie and I sit down and they people get
a reaction of us listening to music that you kids are listening to these oh
right, like the younger genera kids. But Sonny was like, you'd be
out of content pretty quick because there's not a lot of good, good music
content out there. It's funny because Xander a lot of plays me stuff all
the time. First of all, these kids hear of these right singers,
and I'm always like, where did you hear about this person? Everything's from
TikTok? Yeah, So like if if TikTok gets shut down, we're all
fucked. We're all so fun. How are we gonna learn how to listen
to good music and make a good salad? I I ran out of salad
the other day, so I went to the store and I bought some lettuce.
Like that's how they talk. You never noticed that they all talk the
same weird way. Yeah, well you're putting on your makeup, you know.
It's like, yeah, so what are we gonna do? So my
algorithm for all these things? For so I'm old, So I watch a
lot of Facebook reels. They just start coming up like I'll You're like scrolling
through Facebook and all of a sudden there's a video and it's usual for me.
The videos are John Stuart girls, young girls doing gymnastics. Oh really,
I don't know why. I guess you know, I was did gymnastics
as a kid, so I guess I've at some point looked at a video
of somebody you doing gymnastnastics as a kid. Yeah, I was so so.
My best friend in elementary school was named Jill Hoffman. She's still named
Jill Hoffman. She's she's my age. Yeah, she lives in la uh
and I have seen her as an adult and we are on Facebook together and
she was like my best I loved her and she did gymnastics. So I
wanted to do gymnastics because Jill did gymnastics. So my parents put me in
gymnasts around like fourth grade, and Jill was really good and I was not
really good. I had just like weird posture and I have sort of a
sway back and pigeon toed and same issue that I had doing ballet as a
kid, where they were always like stuck your button and stand up straight and
put toes out and I was like, my feet don't go that way.
It was really demoralizing as a gymnast. They always said she's got heart,
but no talent. They told my parents, I'm not going to ever go
far with gymnastics. I just wasn't good. But I have to say compared
to like non gymnasts, I mean I could do I was really strong because
I trained at the LA School of Gymnastics, which was where they trained Olympic
gymnasts, wow, with a coach named I kid you not, mister Mayogi.
Really uh huh coach Mayagi, and he was real off. It was
like these movies where you would what you would do is you would do the
splits and he would come up behind you and just put like shove like imagine
the side split, not like the front splits, but the side split right
and you're not all the way down because you're still learning it. He would
just come and like shove your push you down until into the splits and scream.
But can you still do the splits? No? Not do the splits?
Were you able to do the splits after? Like? Yeah, I
could do the splits. I could do some amazing splits both sides. I
could do the side splits. I could do also though I could do some
stuff on the bar. I got really strong. I could do a ton
of like pull ups, that's amazing. And then when they did remember the
Presidential of Fitness tests that they would do with us when we were in elementary
school, I was always like Jill and I were like by far better than
everyone, and because we were training, right, So I was training like
three times a week for like three hours a day. Fourth, fifth and
sixth grade, I was I have like this little body. Yeah, I
was all muscled. I just wasn't good. Like I couldn't do backflips and
I could do like I could do a backhand spring, but it was real
slow, like it was like jump back on the hands and then the rest
of the body flips over and they'd be like speed it up, and I
was like, I can't anyway. So I after sixth grade it was just
done. My parents just never because I moved to Spokane, Washington. It
was not like a thing. So that was that, and that was that.
That's what happened too with Natalia when we moved after ice ice skating.
Yeah, but you know, I always would tell the story. I would
take this story to lunch all the time that I was like I was on
a pre pre Olympic team, which didn't mean that much. So John makes
fun of me all the time, like he'll he'll still bring it up and
he'll be like, you know, mom was on a pre pre Olympic team
gymnastics. And then my kids are like, yeah, we know mom,
Yeah, but her friend is like Keisha Moore, Angelo Ji Wikita. More
so, why were we talking about TikTok. We're gonna shut it down,
but there was something we were talking because we're I don't know what our oh
music, Oh yeah, oh okay, yeah all right, So Xander's got
Xander listens to these great songs and I'm always like, where did you hear
that? And he goes, I think I originally heard it on TikTok,
but now it's wider known, And I'm like, but what do you mean
by wider known? Like is it on Kiss FM? Right? Like is
Ryan Seacrest is gonna announce it? Because otherwise how do people hear of stuff?
I know? I don't. I guess it's all on TikTok. I
guess it's the most hits or the most downloaded or God we're old. But
I think it'd be funny if there was videos of us listening to like younger
musicians and be pretty funny. Yeah, except that I genuinely like a lot
of that idea. Yeah, that's the thing, is like, yeah,
so good. And then I get it. They download songs right right,
I know, I gotta get more hip to songs. Italian went Oh my
Gosh on Friday to see It's It's a festival. It was a festival.
It was a wrap festival in downtown at the Staples Center and the headliner was
it was like a two day thing. Her friend's mom bought the tickets for
her friend's birthday. It was her best friend's birthday, so she bought four
tickets for the four girls to go. And I'm like, Okay, how
are you getting there? And well, we're gonna take it. They're taking
an Uber. Mom got this to the Uber to go and I'm like,
and you're taking uber back, Okay, all right. So they go to
this concert. The headliner is Boom give me that base boom, but the
boom boom boom, boom boom baby super big Nicki Minaj, thank you.
I was on the tip of my tongue. Anyway, she was playing pretty
huge. She was playing. Then some other band was playing or something and
I've never heard of anybody, and Sonny and Italia were both you know,
filling me in. And but anyway, I get a phone call at I
don't even know. I think it was early. I think it was like
ten thirty eleven o'clock. They two out of the four girls got their phone
stolen, and the other two girls or batteries are dying and can't get a
hold of anybody. But who wah, Oh no, yeah, why me,
I'm minding my own business at the Condo's not my night to be with
the kids, oh dad. First of all, nobody's answering. Nobody's answering
phones, and everybody's phones are dying, and they're like, I live in
fear of them. I follow on Life three sixty LB's phone, yes,
and I'm always like wherever when she's out, and I watch her phone draining
the battery like it's happening to me. Me too. So she planned on
she planned on getting a you know, bringing her battery, uh, you
know, portable battery, right, but I don't know. Something happened and
it didn't charge, so she didn't bring it. The other girl thing got
stolen, so her battery got stolen as well. But I'll tell you how
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f co OL. So okay, So everybody's phones are dying, everybody's phones
are stolen, are dying. Did they get stolen that night or just in
the past. No, that night at the concert, not just them,
a lot of people's because first one girl's phone got stolen and they were like,
oh my god, she had it. I don't I think she had
it in her back pocket and she's like, I can't find my phone.
So what do they do. They start backtracking, going, oh wait,
they try to look for it, and they're going, anybody's seen a phone.
We lost a phone. And it's crowded and it's packed, and it's
like, you know, just hectic, and they're holding hands, the four
of them. You know, anybody's seen a phone, anybody's seed the phone.
And so many people are like kiss a goodbye, my wife lost heirs
phone, or you know, people losing their phones. People were losing getting
their phone stolen at the sky. I don't understand, like quick little sidebar,
Yeah, how what are people doing with other people phones? Like everybody
has a lock screen now you have to use to get into the phone.
And they can't get into the phone. So what are they doing with it?
I think they wipe it clean or they they they must do something,
you know, they they must have some kind of game going, otherwise people's
phones wouldn't be stolen or I don't know. I don't know. I think
you can take the chip out right, the sim card, Yeah, this
is a different sim card in right. Something's going on, I guess.
So. So then she got up. So then they were like okay,
and she was the birthday girl and so she her mom. She couldn't get
a hold. Nobody was any they could. It was chaos. And then
then they stayed for the concert and watch more. And then on the way
out, the other girl's phone was gone, like just gone, And I'm
like what you guys were in the ties like I was holding my phone.
I was like, thank god, Italia, that was something that would happen
to her. She's like, I had it in my hand the whole time.
I would not let it out of my sight, you know. After
her friend got her phone stolen, well they didn't know was stolen until they
went looking for it. And other people are like, yeah, our phone
got stolen too, so it was a thing. And then the other girl
her phone got so anyway, they took the phone, they take the credit
cards because she had it in a thing, and she found the cover.
She found the cover of it. But how she keeps it in like a
little wallet butt the phone and the credit card's gone. Oh my god,
So what happened? So did you have to go downtown and get there?
N it? Talia was like on three percent, So I don't know.
So now I'm texting they can't even call an uber because like the phone could
die. But I don't know any of this is going on. I do
know she's at the concert at the Staples Center, so I'm like checking.
Then I see her phone is going and I see like she's in this circle,
this vicinity, which means like she probably doesn't have Wi Fi or something.
Okay, So then then I start to see her outside the Staple Center.
Then I start texting her no answer. I text her other friends,
no, it doesn't even go through. Then now it's getting to be eleven
o'clo. And I know that she's outside of the stadium. So I text
the moms and I'm like, have you heard from the girls? No answer?
Nothing, oh no, nothing. Well one mom text me like two
hours later like sorry, I was out at dinner and blah blah blah,
and I was like, what the And then the other two never really understand
people. I told her like I was out at dinner. Now, if
you see it, you had to have seen a text within two hours,
right, unless other people really do just put their phone away. But I
have a friend like this who just doesn't respond to text and then eventually she'll
be like, oh, sorry, I didn't see this. I do not
see it. I understand if you're like, I saw it, but I
got busy. Sorry. Right, but when your kid is out and your
kid That's what I was gonna say, is like I don't understand like somebody's
texting you about your kid, right. I know that whenever my kids are
not home with me, my phone is near me. I'm aware of my
phone in case somebody needs to get a hold of me. Oh yeah,
I said, a timer on my phone if like Sonny's back, or because
I'll fall asleep, so you know, I want to keep checking, like
where are they? You know, until they get home? What am I
going to do when they turn eighteen? Well, you guys you still do
it with Elbe too, right, it's never going to go away. I'm
going to be watching them like a hot I do fall asleep now when Albe's
out all the time. But she's nineteen, you know, going on twenty
yeah, so that took a while though, But because she lives at home,
I do ask her to please tell me if you're you know, around
what time you're coming back. But sometimes she will, Like the other night,
she left at like eleven o'clock at night to go to the beach with
some friends. With a bunch of friends. I know, it's kind of
cool. Exactly what am I going to say? Like you're old, Yeah,
like go have fun. I enjoy your youth, live your best life.
You live your best life. And they all went down. They got
a speaker and they got blankets and they you know, c But like this
weekend, Elbe is going to that member I told you, Caylin that Beyond
Wonderland Ray the Rave, and they're staying two nights. They've got an airbnb.
She's leaving on a Friday, like mid morning, and then they're going
to be out all night Friday night and Saturday night, and then they're coming
home Sunday. Well, you know, I'm gonna be worried because she's a
not coming home, but b I know myself and I will be checking life
through sixty just to make sure she got back to the airbnb, like I
know, and they don't get they don't get Wi Fi there like they they
have a lot of sort of tips for these girls, like use the buddy
system, do not always have at least one of your friends with you,
have a spot where you know, you get Wi fi to meet up,
like you know, all these things that they tell them. And also I
asked Elbe. I was like, Elbe, be honest with me. Have
you ever tried Mollie? And she was like no, She's like absolutely not.
She goes I said, well, what do you do with these raves
when everybody's doing Molly? And she goes drink and I was like, okay,
fair enough, say no more. She goes, mom, I'm way
too scared. Yeah, yeah to do that. I'm way too scared.
And I was like I believe her because she does have anxiety. Yeah yeah
I don't. Yeah yeah yeah. So any that night, so yeah,
one parent text me back like an hour and a half two hours later,
and then the other one sent me a text the next morning, and then
the other one never even responded what because it was like I was The text
was have anybody has anybody heard from the girls? So wait, so how
did you get them? How did so a parent. So Natalia calls me
and she goes, Mom, we are on Crenshaw Boulevard. Oh uh huh
in Inglewood and it's up to no good and it's eleven o'clock. We're on
like, we're by a Chase Bank on this boulevard in this street and this
street. And I'm like, uh oh okay, oh my god. And
she goes, my phone's dying and we don't have an uber? Can you
call? It's an uber? And I'm like, okay, okay, your
Chase, you know. And I'm like, thank god, I wasn't stoned
or something like thank god, you know, Like I was awake and I
was at home and I answered her call. What would they have done?
She's her it's the only phone working with these four girls and it's on like
three percent. Immediately, okay, bye, I get off the phone.
I get an uber. I googled Chase Bank wherever it was, got the
right address, googled and got the uber. And so you can do an
uber. I've always wondered this, Yes, why didn't Now I had to
figure it out where somebody else. Yeah, I've never done it before,
but I figured it out on the fly. You can do the uber and
schedule it for like the next day. But I've never done where you know
it's got And then it's like current location. I'm like, no, not
current location. I put in the Chase Bank of where they're at, and
then I have to put it, you know, it was like and then
wouldn't do it, and it's like, oh my god, Oh my god.
So I was like yeah, I mean, you know, I had
to do it a couple of times, and anyways, I got it and
it says like one two minutes away, and and Natalia said, I found
out later she was trying to get ubers on her phone but everybody it was
responding she didn't have Wi Fi or it would be like sixteen twenty minutes and
they were like outside, freezing, people everywhere a little terrified and scandalized out
of their area. So I was like two minutes. So then she calls
me and she goes, we're not in front of the bank, we're behind
the bank on the left side. What kind of car is it? And
I'm like, oh my god. So I find the car. I go
to It's a Chevrolet Silver or whatever. This is the license plate and she
goes, oh, I yeah, I see him, I see him?
Is it? This? Is it? This car? I go yet she
goes, I see him, she goes. The thank you mom, thank
you? Think I felt like a hero, was like yay me, I
said, of course, don't thank me, you know? But what is
with parents? Why? Me? Like why I don't know? But me
too? Hashtag me too. I mean every time, every time my kids
are like somewhere and they want to go see like a music show or do
anything, somehow there are no other parents available to take them exactly, nobody's
available to pick them up. I'm the only one. And somehow I've also
always asked to go, can you go to this person's house and pick them
up? I'm like, these fucking parents can't even drop their kids at my
house knowing that I'm gonna be the one right. It's it's I don't understand.
I don't get it. I don't And if you're planning this like birthday
thing, take it upon yourself to have a plan. Tell your kids I'll
pick you up at this time. Whatever happened in the days where like my
dad took us to Duran, Duran waited in the car. You know what
I mean. Suzan's dad would take us to concerts and wait out in the
car right listening to the Dodger game, like you know, now it's like
everything we got a uber and figure you know, I don't know, just
figure it out, like why does it come on me? And here and
here's a little ending to this saga. I just got dumped up, like
they're going to say to keep calling this sage brush stage coach again this year.
Last year they went their dad. They were doing this apparently again with
her dad. Well guess what, Dad can't go, And now I it's
now on me to find an airbnb, book the airmbnb and chaperone them.
Oh really, yeah, when I don't fucking know. Is it the summer?
Is it? It's coming up in April? Oh no, uhh yeah,
that's what I gotta. I gotta go find an airbae. Oh is
it for their birthday? No? I don't know. Like they did it
last year. He did it last year with them, and now, uh,
you know, they want to go. They want to go again.
And I don't know if he got he got them the tickets. I guess,
I don't know, but but now it's I I have to take them.
So they have tickets, but you don't have a ticket. I don't
want to go. Well, I guess, I don't know. I don't
want to go. I don't want to go period. I don't want to
ghost do it, and I don't want to book it, and I don't
Everything is fine. It's just like, what why you have to drive them
out there too? Right? Isn't it that far? I guess they can
drive now, Yeah, it's pretty far. I don't know where it is.
It's uh in Sunda or not as the same place. Isn't that super
far? Yeah? Everything far like Palm Springs. Yeah, everything, it's
too far for them to drive. Probably they they they did. Yeah,
I drove at their age. It's not it's fine. Yeah, Sonny drove
Sonny Well, Sonny's friend drove last year, and Natali's friend drove last year.
Can't you just then book them the place to stay and then they just
go? I guess they're just only seventeen. How they're going to get home
from the concert? Lay out of trouble last year getting home from the concert
that was the biggest problem. So I don't know. I mean I could
just go and just hang out by myself, which is fine, and then
you drive them to the concert and then drive them back to the Airbnb.
Is it it's night affair? I think, sal Yeah, yeah, it's
two nights. It's three? Is it? Fuck me? Are they going
for all three nights? I don't know. I just found this out last
night. It's just like, really, I know, to be k parenting?
Yeah, I know. Basically, yeah, it's three shoot me,
knife in my eye? All right? Okay, anyway, let's say let's
say thank you to our Patreon big wigs like The Family Skeptical, which is
a podcast about raising kids without religion and if you're a non believer, you're
welcome to the fold. Let's check out this podcast. You know it's by
one of our subscribers. Report everybody. Yeah, Family Skeptical. Also Adam
Lerner, he's a car broker. You all know the drill with Adam.
He's gonna get you a car. He'll find you a deal, he'll find
you the financing. Go to Adam's Got a Car dot com or you can
call him or text him at three one zero night seven zero four eight.
Also another great service is storybook World Travel. You can find them on Facebook
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for all your travel needs. Yeah. Yeah. And also Basic Becky if
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T shirt. She customizes t shirts. You can pick your color, pick
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if you're in Palm Springs, why not go to Wolmanfrida. I love
them Palm Desert as well. Great food. We should do another Palm Springs
meet up. Maybe yeah, let's think about that. Great. Uh.
We do a lot of planning out loud to Stefanie Wings. Yes the salmon,
You're gonna love it. And also Sugar Skull is the small bakery and
shop by our friend Maren on the island of Kawai. So if you're vacationing
go check them out. Or you can like and follow their Instagram page at
sugar Skull eight oh eight and they'll give you fifteen percent off if you use
the code f co ol all right and follow us on socials. Yes,
please fcol podcasts, yep, comment like us, Tell a friend, tell
a friend, why wouldn't you? Okay, And right now we're gonna this
is gonna go up, and then we're going to record our Patreon and that'll
go up, and then we'll see you Friday. Yes, sorry guys for
the delay. I love you your parent now, don't have it up.
It's good letting