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Welcome to Softcore History. Blow and
welcome to another episode of Softcore History.

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Thanksgiving Edition. A kind of kind
of We're recording this on a Monday night

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before Thanksgiving, so it might as
well be our Thanksgiving Edition episode. I

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just read the topic. Oh well, it's kind of yeah, they settled

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a part of America. It's yeah, yeah, Um, if you think

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about how things went down towards the
end of a certain colony, not very

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Thanksgiving it it's like a colonizer and
then potentially a Native American in the mix

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if we ever get to it,
because we might not front loaded topic.

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Yeah, this is extremely front loaded
topic, not even front loaded. This

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man has just lived lived a life, yeah, like a thousand lives really,

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uh, at least yeah. Primarily
we're gonna be talking about John Smith,

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the famous one of the famous leaders
of the Jamestown Colony, Governor James

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during Town. Well, he was
the president of I believe Jamestown at the

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time, is what you would call
it. President. You probably know him

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from the Disney original. Yeah,
Pocahontas portrayed by Mel Gibson's voice in the

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Disney original film Pocahontas. My first
thing thinking about this. By the way,

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my first thought when reading about John
Smith was, um that this should

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not have been a Disney movie that
Mel Gibson appeared in, but a live

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action Glory nineties mel Gibson movie,
like a Brave Heart, like this should

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have been. This should have been
the sequel to Brave the spiritual sequel to

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Braveheart. Thet Yeah, it's mel
that Really it should have been the mel

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Gibson Murders Other People trilogy. And
this should have been the middle entry between

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Braveheart and The Patriot. And it's
just John Smith and it's always just about

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some sort of genocide or revolution.
Yeah, um yeah. And I also

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would like to think that this is
like, as mel Gibson's starting to turn

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the corner into crazy. Yeah,
where does this talk lipped out? Yeah,

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he was probably trying to slip after
he directed it. He wasn't in

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it. He wasn't, but I
bet you was trying to slip in notes

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like Apocalypto style, like hey,
we should show Pile's bodies. They're like,

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this is a Disney movie, mel
Gibson prevent presents pokehonas would have been,

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it would have just started with someone
being scalped one way or another,

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someone's getting scalped. Yeah yeah,
but yeah, we're talking about John Smith.

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As Dan mentioned, he is the
He's famous, most famously known by

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people our age as the guy that
really likes pokahonas also to be fair portrayed

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very boringly by Colin Farrell in Um
Terrence Malick The New World. I haven't

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seen that, so okay, well
you can stop at Terrence Malick. It's

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I love the Thin Red Line.
But um, The New World was basically

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like the exact same theme, so
the Thin Red Line except not as good.

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Oh cool? Yeah, so it's
gotten more of a pass off.

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Like five movies and Terence Mallock what
other movies has done? He's made like

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seven movies. Yeah, like he
makes a movie like every thirty years.

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I've never seen any of them.
Don't worry about it. Yeah, we

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can't dive into this rabbit hole,
right, uh yeah, yeah, so

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I guess let's get things kicked off. John Smith a life well lived.

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Yeah, surprisingly lived long too for
the time, more surprisingly live long for

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all this shit he got into.
Yeah, this guy should have died like

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twenty times. It should have started
right off the bat. Really, I

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mean, well, right, around
sixteen. Yeah. So he was born

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in fifteen to eighty and he was
the son of this like profitable farmer in

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Lincolnshire, England. But a peasant. Uh yeah, No, wasn't.

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He wasn't like noble his dad.
He wasn't noble. He was a farmer.

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Yeah. I wouldn't call him a
peasant. He was just a like

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lower middle class. Yeah, he's
like he's working class person. Yeah.

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So, um, we don't hear
much about the fifteen hundreds. Yeah,

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if you really think about it.
No, we historical events went down in

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like the fifteen the dancing plague.
That's it the only time most of the

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colonization of America. Yeah, like
at the beginning of it anyway. Yeah,

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we like to what is it,
fourteen ninety two, Yeah, fourteen

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ninety two, that's the fifteen hundreds
kind of get cucked. The fifteen hundred

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kind of get overlooked. You get
like you got like the Spanish Armada in

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the fifteen hundred. Sir Francis Drake. You have a well yeah, speaking

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of Sir Francis Drake. Um,
he actually young John Smith actually adored Sir

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Francis Drake. He was just as
famous British Drake for big Drake, huge,

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big, big champagne poppy stand,
you know, And so it led

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to an early desire to hunt for
treasure and get into battles and you know,

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just be this like young Rapscallion just
out in the world. Hated name,

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want to fucking as No, he
didn't want to farm. And I

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think, like any thirteen year old
kid that he's looking at his dad's family

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basis they were gonna be you get
to kill people on boats. That's an

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adventurer. And his dad's like,
you're sissy and you're not gonna do that.

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That's the garage. That's fifteen hundreds
garage band like it would be famous

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with but music, it would be
famous. Killed French guys for their goal.

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Yeah, you know, I guarantee
you there is at least one fucking

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weirdo in Brooklyn, like I'm going
to be an explorer. It's like relatively

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around the same time as that brother. And I's head is on a Somali

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pike was yeah yeah, and like
Magellan probably Marco Polo, No, Marco

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Polo wasn't they have a cross paths. You think maybe John Smith and Magellan.

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You never know. They may have. I don't know. I actually

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have no idea. When Magellan and
Queen Elizabeth the first fifteen hundreds, Yeah,

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Virginia is named after her. So
anyway, John Smith's dad wasn't really

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stoked about the whole idea of his
son being like, fuck farming, I'm

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going to be an adventurer. Yeah. And so after a few years of

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telling John to be like, hey, get a real fucking job the loser

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um and John Smith being hell,
no, Dad, I hate you,

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John Smith's dad basically just kind of
apprenticed him off to a merchant. Yeah.

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He's like, oh, you don't
want to farm, you wanna go

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have fun. Yeah, you'll go, You'll go to venture just go.

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I want to know what being a
merchant apprentice is like? It was it

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like keeping books. It's basically just
queen. He had an education so he

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could, but I doubt he was
keeping But yeah, he's sweeping shit probably.

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Yeah, he's keeping the storefront nice
and learning where things come from it

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and probably doing my job at six
between nad or shoveling shit on the farms.

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Yeah, horse shit. Shoveler is
always a big occupation as well.

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Yeah, I'm gonna go with anything's
an upgrade over horse shit shoveler. Yes,

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so always you never want to be
a poop smith. And also the

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thing is, I don't do apprentices
get paid back. Then I don't know.

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I don't think there is no chance
internships in twenty twenty. Yeah no,

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so fifteen nineties apprentice is not getting
anything. So unfortunately, well for

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just this one man, and not
for John. John's dad died in fifteen

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ninety six and John being now sixteen
years old with even more wonder lust of

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seeing all the cool shit happening,
and fifteen years old in fifteen ninety six

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is thirty seven in today's years.
Oh yeah for an American male. Yeah,

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absolutely, yeah, he's he's having
like his his midlife Christ. This

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is just a lined in the perfect
way. He's like, no more dad,

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Yeah, no more dad. I
could do whatever I want. So

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he pieced the fuck out of that
job. And he's just fifteen hundred pip

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like an apprentice, just being shipped
off to another family. At first,

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yeah yeah, yeah, but when
when his dad died, when his dad

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dad, he was beholden to no
one. So he's like, fuck this,

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I'm joining a mercenary crew. Fuck
yeah. Yeah, sixteen, sixteen

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years old, he joined a company
of English mercenaries that bounced around from conflict

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to conflict because that's just you could
just do that. Yeah, no,

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because they're just like this. I
was thinking about this on the way here

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actually, um, because like the
big news was today that like Biden appointed

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a bunch of just cabinet members and
stuff like that. Oh yeah. And

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then and I was reading this like
at the same time when I was like

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taking breaks and checking on Twitter,
and I was like, man, that's

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like the that's like the thing everyone
takes for granted is that fifty European countries

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aren't at war with each other all
the time anymore. Yeah, Like there's

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no shortage of conflicts just to show
up job. It's like like nowadays people

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have like tech startups. I feel
like mercenary startups. It's like you're just

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like I'm gonna get you know what
I'm gonna get like forty guys, forty

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like tough guys. Right, We've
talked about this with William Walker. Yeah,

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you just get some brosy plunder.
Basically, it's it's you're fighting for

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someone under contract, but you're also
pocketing a lot of shit on the side

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too. Then you get a few
musicians to play bad company in the background.

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That's right, just like that.
I guess you gotta get like a

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guy that plays a loot and yeah, maybe a drummer boy company. Yeah

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right. They played their version of
that, which I guess is like green

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Sleeves or whatever. Yeah, that's
time, Green Sleeves. Fun fact,

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Green Sleeves was the only song for
seven hundred years, pretty sure, there's

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nothing else. They just changed the
the pitch and the speed of it from

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time and time. So he did
a lot of conflict bouncing. He spent

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some time in France to help keep
Henry the Fourth on the throne, and

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he also fought for the Dutch in
their War of Independence from Spain. Side

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of France though, because France,
France just keeps getting into all these different

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conflicts. Everybody's in, there's every
everybody's in everything. But I mean France

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just keeps, like, you know, picking their battles like as kind of

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like the side hoe what Yeah,
unless they were with England America, dude,

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Yeah no, but this was main. This is the main France conflicts

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for the most part. Yeah,
it's always at this point pointing towards France

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in one way or another. Regardless
he's did in wars. He just he's

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like picking and choosing his wars.
Yeah, he's like, oh, you

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know what, we're gonna make more
money. We're fighting the Spaniards. And

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is this where the industrial military,
like the military complex comes from. No,

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no, that's kind of what stops
this from happening. Yeah, there's

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just two big of guns pointed at
everyone's heads. Now, yeah, the

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mutually assured destruction thing at the time. Yeah, Napoleon, I don't even

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think is started like no, not
even close. But like once Napoleon starts

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being like, well, if we
have enough people, it doesn't fucking matter,

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like we'll just swamp you if we
have like everyone's in the military.

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That's when you start seeing things turn
around with like the change in battle and

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stuff like that. At least I
think, um, yeah, no,

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that was I believe that was from
our our sister podcast, Hardcore History mentioned

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that in their World War One episode
Our Spiritual Sister Hardcore History. I'm sure

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Dan Carlin would love that. Yeah, these guys are legit. Anyway,

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along the way, he started picking
up classical military techniques and he was reading

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political text. He was reading like, I guess his main the war.

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Yeah, he's read well, he's
close for that area. Didn't he get

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a kind of apprentice to get like
protegeade? He did so he started learning

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from Theodore Paleologue or Paleologu. He
was the writing master of the Earl of

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Lincoln, and that guy taught him
how to handle a horse and how to

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hold a lance, and how to
speak Italian. But mainly what he taught

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him was how to hate fucking Turkish
dudes. Yeah, that's what I was

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my favorite fun fact. But he
mostly inherited, aside from the Italian and

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everything else, was the hatred of
the Turks, right, No, he

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just he was like, fuck Turkish
people, you need to get out to

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Austria. At that point in world
history, the Turks were probably the number

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one power in the world. They
were probably the world's number one superpower.

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It's like the Ottoman Empire, right
basically, yeah, it's the seat of

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the Ottoman Empire is in Turkey.
You could, I mean, you could

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make arguments for Spain or so.
Would he be pro or anti enis cancer,

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He's just anti all Turks. Y's
assume if he's a Turk or even

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resembles a Turk. He's on he
circular side, the government side. He's

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on if you wants yea Turks.
Yeah, no Turks at all. And

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what he wanted to do from then
on out was set out to fight Turks

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in Hungary and in Austria because there
was a lot of Austrian Turkish conflict were

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like in a direct yeah, like
the Turks had controlled like the Balkans and

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shit, yeah, we're trying to
expand into Hungary and Austria, right,

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and so there was a lot of
conflict there. So he sets off to

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fight Turks in Hungary and he gets
on a boat from France. He gets

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on a boat to Italy because that's
like the fastest route into Hungary from taking

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his taking a flight to Italy.
He's just on a ship casual travel.

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But his boat sank and it was
wrecked and he washes up on an island

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off Kahn. So he's just shipwrecked. He's like alone. Yeah, he's

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alone by himself, sucking castaway.
And he was a film festival. That's

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a good question. There was probably
a good flick on like murdering Turks.

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Yeah, he wanted to see some
like gore porn before he went out and

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actually did it himself. I don't
I don't know why it went to the

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film festival then. Yeah, but
it was just a play. It was

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like the inglorious Bastards of the fifteen
hundred people just off Turks. Yeah,

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so he was while he was washed
up on the shore of Cohn. He

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was rescued by Captain Laroche. His
crew discovered Smith when it came ashore to

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find food and water, and at
some point while interacting with them and all

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that stuff, he's like, yo, this sailing around as a merchant things

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kind of dope, I could make
some money rate. Well that's the thing.

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See, Captain Leroche was known in
France as a trade merchant. Everywhere

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else side of French waters. He's
a fucking pirate. Yeah, he's just

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fucking pirate. Yeah, that's one
thing I learned. I was reading about

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something else. It wasn't John Smith, but I was reading this the other

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day. Oh, I actually randomly
was reading about just Blackbeard. Oh I

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00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,960
can't, oh, because I get
I have a widget on my iPhone for

203
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pirates. No. Yeah, yeah, there was a time where like Blackbeard

204
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was representing a government and he was
being he was able to do what he

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wanted under like their flags kind of. So what it was is more like

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anyway, I have a widget on
my phone it's Wikipedia is like today in

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history. Basically it's what is So
Blackbeard came up and I was like,

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I'll read about that and like essentially
like and this is two hundred years later,

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but essentially like a lot, not
all of them, I couldn't give

210
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,200
you actually give you a percentage,
but they're a fair amount some plurality at

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least, uh pirates, specifically English
pirates, because that's what I was reading

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00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:09,519
about. Um wouldn't attack English ships? Yeah right, but they were they

213
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:13,000
were they were didn't represent England,
they weren't like, they weren't like acting

214
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on behalf of the government. They
were just like, oh, I know

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00:14:15,879 --> 00:14:18,279
those guys, why stir up trouble
with the home team? Yeah exactly.

216
00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:24,679
And also like a lot of them
were like former navy people. They were

217
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,720
in the Navy before they became pirates, so uh, they were like,

218
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,480
you know, I was them,
I'm not gonna yeah, but then a

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00:14:31,519 --> 00:14:35,440
French guy comes along and you know, they'll fuck fuck them up all day.

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Companionship, yeah, Portuguese whatever.
Yeah, um, so I assume

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that's kind of the same thing.
Like this dude probably didn't go after French

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00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:48,759
ships, but like Venetian Turkish.
Interestingly, enough about Venetian ships. Um.

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00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:52,120
In one of the I don't know
what you want to call it,

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00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,159
not a battle, but one of
the encounters, John Smith had Wall and

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00:14:54,200 --> 00:15:00,600
the crew of Captain Laroche they come
into contact with a Venetian ship. And

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I don't buy this story at all. No, it's bullshit from what Okay,

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So as the story goes, you
know, they come up trying to

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00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:11,200
flag them down, like hey,
let's talk or whatever. The pirate the

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00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:16,200
pirate ship, Morocia ship, let's
talk, let's talk. Yeah, let's

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00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,639
they come on over here about what
notion? Right? Oh god, this

231
00:15:18,759 --> 00:15:20,840
place is so bad. Yeah,
dude, it's the Mediterranean Sea. What

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an amazing thing. And then the
Venetian ship, because of you know,

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lack of under mutual understanding, thinks
it's a sign of aggression. Good call,

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00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,879
Yeah, it's really good call because
they were right. They were they

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00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:39,519
were right, well, but they
were correct. Yeah. So basically they

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fired on Leocia ship and Lesa was
like, oh, sick. They fired

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00:15:43,039 --> 00:15:45,919
first, so they just destroyed the
ship. Could you do everything? And

238
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then they you know, do It's
like if if uh, I thought some

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00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,759
like mma guy was gonna beat me
up, but I wasn't sure and I

240
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:58,879
was and like he was trying.
He was like what what what what?

241
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,720
And I just didn't know what to
do. So I slapped him and then

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00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:03,120
he beat me to death. Yeah, like I feel like that's what happened

243
00:16:03,159 --> 00:16:06,799
with these two. Why don't you
getting in the cage, Rob, I

244
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,879
did. I don't just come into
the cage. It's comfortable here, get

245
00:16:10,879 --> 00:16:15,600
in the cage, put on these
guoves, like come on on anyway,

246
00:16:15,639 --> 00:16:19,000
So they dutifully recover all of the
beautiful things they're on the ship. Yeah,

247
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,679
they sank it and took everything.
I didn't hear anything about the people.

248
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,240
No, no one was saved on
that ship. Yeah. I don't

249
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,399
know where that happened. There's a
lot of Venetian bones beneath where that took

250
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:36,480
place. It just so happens.
There was no quarter on Jos's ships.

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00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:37,799
First, I don't know what to
tell you. The time just lit your

252
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:42,200
throat. Yeah, So after about
my friend, after about four months of

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doing this plundering more so than actually
bear trade. John Smith's pretty fucking rich,

254
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,279
and he's like, you know what, I'm I really need to fight

255
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,200
these turks. Man. He took
he took a little um well, he

256
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,799
took pray love first. Yeah.
He did a little trip through Italy.

257
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Yeah he was. He did a
little wanderlust a little here. Yeah.

258
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,319
Yeah, his gap year or whatever. Yeah. So yeah, john Smith

259
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,240
fucks around in Italy for a little
bit. He's like, you know,

260
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,240
the turks are calling me. Yeah, he's like Johnny Boy, Johnny Money's

261
00:17:12,279 --> 00:17:18,599
cool and like hanging out and hanging
out. So he's much of wealth theory.

262
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:22,160
He's able to make his way to
Graze Austria in the summer of sixteen

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00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,279
o one. To be fair,
though, he is kind of rich.

264
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:32,799
He's like he's moetarily rich. He's
no responsibilities. He's like he's like he's

265
00:17:32,799 --> 00:17:37,720
like winning one hundred thousand dollars in
the lottery rich, like like Reagan succession.

266
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You know, Okay, he's got
like five million. Imagine yourself at

267
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,720
twenty two winning one hundred thousand dollars. You're rich for a twenty two year

268
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,480
old, right, You're not gonna
turn that into more wealth necessarily, you

269
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,599
could be there's a lot of work
in front of you. Yeah right,

270
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,920
right right, So it's not like
he didn't win twenty million dollars or five

271
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:57,920
You could make five million work,
No, dude, five. You can't

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00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,559
retire in five millions the poorest rich
person out there. Oh yeah, what

273
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,839
a seems horrible. Hardships terrible anyway, So he signs up with an Austrian

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combat division in sixteen oh one.
And this is keep in mind it's sixteen

275
00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:15,640
o one. He is now twenty
one years old, so he's like crisis

276
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:22,119
again. So far, this guy
has been a pirate. He's been fight

277
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:27,000
He's fought in three battles I believe
with France, with England and three wars

278
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,799
or three wars, yeah, three
wars part god knows how many battles and

279
00:18:30,839 --> 00:18:36,119
skirmishes. Has a gun for hire. Yeah right, yeah, exactly.

280
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,680
So he's in five years from sixteen
to twenty one. He's basically a mercenary

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00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:44,559
and a special ob he for the
time or whatever, he has already been

282
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,480
a mercenary. I don't remember who
won those two wars. I mean I

283
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,759
do know the Dutch eventually got independence
from Spain. I don't remember when that

284
00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:52,720
happened. No, that's not true. Rob. The Dutch are actually still

285
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:57,799
under space. Still spin hears that
makes sense. Um, he's making stuff

286
00:18:57,839 --> 00:19:00,880
up over there. We don't not
on this podcast. You don't fact check

287
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,960
this. Oh speaking, this is
a quicker side. I love that the

288
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:10,640
guy tweeted at us that I was
wrong about the Jodie thing. The military

289
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:11,839
thing. Oh, I don't remember
what that was about because I couldn't remember.

290
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:18,160
He couldn't remember if the girl guy
that bangs your girl cheats on or

291
00:19:19,319 --> 00:19:25,000
she cheats. Yeah. I think
I believe the name for the girls something

292
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:29,920
like someone sour crotch or something like
that. Something from that Sarah Sauercrotch,

293
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:36,440
Susie scrot sounds more accurate. Yeah. Anyway, during the time that Smith

294
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,960
had devoted to studying and training actually
allowed him to be pretty good at fighting

295
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,519
and leading in wartime and in battle. So I'm gonna go over some examples

296
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:48,960
of when he just did crazy cool
shit in like one battles here. Love

297
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,720
it. Yeah. So, during
the Battle for Limbach, a German fortress

298
00:19:52,799 --> 00:19:56,960
town besieged by the Turks, Smith
drew on his military readings to devise a

299
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:02,960
signaling system that led his regiment communicate
with the Austrian garrison trapped inside. So

300
00:20:03,039 --> 00:20:07,920
what they would do is they'd use
torches and basically communicate back and forth through

301
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,720
the windows, and the garrison was
told that the Austrian forces sent to liberate

302
00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:17,279
them would charge the east of town
after nightfall. The garrison should be ready

303
00:20:17,319 --> 00:20:21,200
to support their attack, so they
knew that they were coming. Bas He

304
00:20:21,279 --> 00:20:23,359
devised a secret form of communication,
yeah, just out of out of his

305
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,240
ass, yeah, basically yeah,
and was able to communicate it to the

306
00:20:27,279 --> 00:20:33,440
Austrians inside being besieged through that form
of communication. Basically, yeah, just

307
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,680
like they're coming from they know you're
sent a carrier pigeon. I don't know,

308
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,920
but yeah he did. He did
that and got intel basically through torchlight

309
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:45,319
somehow. And so the night of
the battle, Smith used to string cloth

310
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:51,519
and powder to create the illusion of
two thousand matchlock muskets firing to the west

311
00:20:51,559 --> 00:20:55,319
of Limbock. He made two thousand
ghost soldiers. He was the magician.

312
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,200
Yeah. So like it's like the
story of when they inflate the tanks and

313
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:03,759
stuff on on D Day, Yeah, yeah, before yeah, yeah,

314
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,759
um, I'm blanking on what that
was called yah and something, but uh,

315
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:11,920
Dumbo dropped appreciate they dropped an elephant. It was a nuts man um.

316
00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:15,000
Yeah, he just created like a
fake two thousand soldierrys. Yeah,

317
00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:18,839
he created fake two thousand soldiers.
And so like all the Turks are like,

318
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,559
shit, they're coming from the west, what the fuck? And so

319
00:21:22,599 --> 00:21:26,000
they move everything over to defend the
west side of town, and of course

320
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:32,359
they attacked from the east again.
So when morning dawned or I'm sorry,

321
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,799
the eastern side of the town was
relatively defense defenseless, and the Austrians moved

322
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,559
him basically conquered the whole thing.
The Turkish Man commander realized he'd been defeated

323
00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:41,440
kind of like without a shot,
yeah too, like not I don't know

324
00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:45,720
with that, without without a shot, but like he basically like beat him

325
00:21:45,759 --> 00:21:48,920
at chess, yeah right, Like
he out outmaneuvered, outmaneuvered the Turks so

326
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,279
badly they knew to just give up, right, Yeah, they were like,

327
00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:55,200
there's we could try, but it's
really stupid. So they got out

328
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,119
of there. Fucking wild that even
that is like not only do we not

329
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:02,279
know that ever learned that about John
Smith, but like that's like the tenth

330
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,960
most impressive thing he did in his
life. Oh yeah, it's not even

331
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,400
that, it's it's a blitz.
You're just like, oh, he was

332
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,720
some British guy that went to America. Yeah, you really don't. Like

333
00:22:11,799 --> 00:22:17,240
a lot of people's knowledge of John
Smith starts at Jamestown like halfway through rooms

334
00:22:17,279 --> 00:22:22,240
and ends with just pocahonas yea literally
much Yeah. So, um, he

335
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,480
was promoted the captain and he was
put in charge of a company of two

336
00:22:26,559 --> 00:22:29,799
hundred and fifty men on horseback,
which is incredible, Like it's yeah,

337
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,440
that would be like beat any soldier
on horseback even at that time. Still

338
00:22:33,559 --> 00:22:40,200
is uh, that's like expensive and
like elite troops. That's like I mean,

339
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,359
fuck, dude, Yeah, two
hundred and fifty horses, Like yeah,

340
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:47,599
that's not two hundred and fifty men
at arms or archers or musketeers or

341
00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:49,160
whatever. I mean that. Yeah, you got a fucking wrecking crew.

342
00:22:49,559 --> 00:22:52,400
You're gonna do some work. And
so I want to say, when um

343
00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:59,039
Cortez went to America, I want
to look this up real quick, for

344
00:22:59,319 --> 00:23:06,160
he had like four hundred conquistadors under
his command, had no ships after so

345
00:23:07,039 --> 00:23:11,599
because he burned. Then that's always
a bad move. When you go to

346
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,799
foreign countries by ship, you should
never burn the ship probably never burned down.

347
00:23:15,839 --> 00:23:22,000
Your only means don't burn don't burn
down the angel boat. No.

348
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,240
Yeah, he was set on a
goal, and yet you just gotta get

349
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:30,559
another option. Get the gold,
You get the gold. Was he looking

350
00:23:30,559 --> 00:23:33,640
for the Fountain of Youth too,
Cortez? Now that was um, that

351
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,079
was puns Daly. Yeah, yeah, I should know that. It's in

352
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:38,799
Florida, right, Saint Augustine.
There you go. So was the original

353
00:23:38,799 --> 00:23:42,000
Thanksgiving? I'm sorry. Cortez only
had eighty four horsemen, but he had

354
00:23:42,039 --> 00:23:47,079
about nine hundred, like total soldiers. That's a lot. Were they headless?

355
00:23:48,319 --> 00:23:51,799
No, what you're just getting all
your early American ship mixed up here.

356
00:23:52,559 --> 00:23:56,160
There was never headless? Yeah yeah, okay. So in another battle

357
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:02,599
deliberate Alba Regalis, the ancient Garian
capital, he assembled what he called fiery

358
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,279
dragons. And this is so fucking
ridiculous. Basically, this, dude,

359
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,160
this is my favorite line from Oh
yeah, I got the line too.

360
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:12,279
Don't worry he uh he invented bombs, dan or grenades. No, he

361
00:24:12,319 --> 00:24:15,880
didn't invent they were pretty big I
thought, weren't they or how big were

362
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:22,119
they? I'm pretty sure that she
is invented like what we would consider it,

363
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,240
I guess. Okay, So what
they were the fiery dragons. That's

364
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,880
probably why he called them fiery dragons. Yeah. They were round earthen pots

365
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:33,680
filled with gunpowder, covered with pitch, brimstone and turpentine, and then coated

366
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,160
with musket bullets. So it was
a like a s it was shrapnel like

367
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,279
it was a it's like a big
grenade, yeah, or like uh,

368
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:45,680
like a pipe bomb, stuff with
nails like an ied Yeah thing. This

369
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,119
isn't like the only time he uses
it too. We'll get to it.

370
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:55,559
But he uh he kind of self
sabotages himself with some gun gunpowder while helping

371
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:59,440
him a lot hurt them later.
Yeah, so he encased those in an

372
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:03,759
oil qua and the pots were set
on fire and then flung into Tursian Tursian

373
00:25:03,079 --> 00:25:07,519
Turkish line. Yeah, he just
he was like cocktails. Yeah, they

374
00:25:07,519 --> 00:25:10,400
were like, well no, because
moltop cocktails is just fire. It's like

375
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,359
a molotop cocktail where you figure out
a way for the cocktail to like the

376
00:25:14,039 --> 00:25:18,200
sheets through your body. Yeah,
it's yeah, it's way worse um.

377
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:23,640
Recounting the sights of the fiery dragons, Smith said this, it was fearful.

378
00:25:23,759 --> 00:25:27,680
It was a fearful sight to be
se the short, flaming course of

379
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:32,519
their flight in the air, but
presently after their fall, the lamentable noise

380
00:25:32,839 --> 00:25:37,079
of the miserable slaughtered Turks was the
most most wonderful to hear. Yeah,

381
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,640
he was like, oh man,
they looked fucking scary in the sky,

382
00:25:38,759 --> 00:25:42,559
but once they hit and you heard
those Turks screaming fucked Yeah, it's like,

383
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,920
good God, God, it was
tight. I just like to think

384
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,720
of him and be like, oh
God, please work, Oh God,

385
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,920
please work. Yeah, like,
yeah, that's like the equivalent of today,

386
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,920
like on Twitter someone being like,
inject that straight into my veins,

387
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,119
you know what I mean basically that, Yeah, he really likes killing Turkish

388
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,599
people in the most greesome way possible. Well, because I mean I would

389
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:11,680
assume, honestly, like there was
no nothing was on your if you're the

390
00:26:11,799 --> 00:26:14,720
person in that a Christian at that
time, there's nothing on your conscience when

391
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,759
you kill a Turk. Oh No, I mean right, like killing like

392
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:22,279
you cannot you cannot look at this
through the scope of modernity. Modern entity

393
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,400
whatever. However you say that,
yeah, yeah, that would be like

394
00:26:25,799 --> 00:26:29,240
you're in war, like who cares
obviously hates Turks. He learned that from

395
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:34,319
his father's father hitted Turks, right, No, I mean it's but it's

396
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:38,319
like there's there's bloody conquest happening every
day in Europe and like Turks or violent

397
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,599
they're fighting Austrians who were more.
But the other thing two is that Turks.

398
00:26:42,279 --> 00:26:45,359
This is I'm kind of reaching here, but I think this is broadly

399
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:53,960
accurate. Like there's just in general
less repercussion for doing something to the Ottomans

400
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,000
the Turks. Then there would be
it went for doing certain things when he

401
00:26:59,039 --> 00:27:03,640
was like a mercenary in rants fighting
against the French people, or a mercenary

402
00:27:04,279 --> 00:27:07,400
with on the side of the Dutch
fighting against the Spanish. Like way,

403
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:11,920
less repercussions. I mean, think
of it because they're ones Anglo ones not.

404
00:27:11,079 --> 00:27:14,960
Yeah, they kind of saw them
as subhuman. Yeah, I'm sure

405
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,599
they did. I mean well and
well and even beyond that, they're just

406
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:22,720
not a part of your society,
like your community, right, there's solder

407
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,799
community, They're they're very foreign.
So yeah, I mean there's just less

408
00:27:27,319 --> 00:27:32,079
because like many problems as the English
and French had that there's a lot of

409
00:27:32,079 --> 00:27:34,680
commonalities. Yeah, I mean,
all they committed atrocity atrocities against each other

410
00:27:34,759 --> 00:27:38,519
for sure, but yeah, they're
commonalities. And they were both broadly the

411
00:27:38,559 --> 00:27:41,759
same religion and all that stuff,
whereas like with the Turks, it's just

412
00:27:41,799 --> 00:27:45,200
like there's nothing nothing in common.
Oh yeah, no, you got like

413
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,000
Islam, you got like whole different
types of just like the culture, way

414
00:27:48,079 --> 00:27:52,720
different rest and architecture. It's completely
foreign to you pretty much from a different

415
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,359
continent. Yeah, I mean it's
it's right when you're getting into like the

416
00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:00,559
transition between Europe and Asia. So
of course. Yeah. Anyway, the

417
00:28:00,559 --> 00:28:03,920
bombardment helped break the siege and allow
the Austrians to take the city after a

418
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,319
few bloody days of house to house
fighting. Yeah. Man, once you

419
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,920
start peppering people with pellets, once
you just start ripping their bodies apart with

420
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,720
bombs, yeah, it usually helps
you win the fight. I mean,

421
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,200
they still have to fight quite a
bit afterward. But what is I was

422
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,519
seeing about this too when I was
reading that, what the fuck is house

423
00:28:19,519 --> 00:28:25,119
to house fighting? Like in sixteen
o four or whatever? The fuck?

424
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:29,559
Well, the Turks had probably come
at you with those like curvy swords and

425
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,960
you're just throwing a bomb at him. I get yet, like your a

426
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,680
flintlock musket that takes like three minutes
three load. Yeah, so you like

427
00:28:37,039 --> 00:28:41,119
the one, you're either getting them
with your gun or your bomb, or

428
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,839
they're beheading you, like with one
swift emotion. Yes, is, by

429
00:28:44,839 --> 00:28:48,880
the way, about one hundred years
before the bayonet was really invented. Shit

430
00:28:48,079 --> 00:28:53,480
really, Yeah, they didn't really
have so you like a side knife and

431
00:28:53,519 --> 00:28:56,400
the side knife type there's or a
sword on your like I know, like

432
00:28:56,759 --> 00:29:00,119
Spanish conquis doors. That's I don't
have no ed, did it. They

433
00:29:00,119 --> 00:29:03,799
would have, yeah, like a
sword on the on their side, on

434
00:29:03,799 --> 00:29:07,559
their hip as well as the They
must have had some sort of side piece

435
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,640
other than the musket, otherwise you're
fucked after that. Yeah, yeah,

436
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,200
they didn't just have the Okay,
I mean the musket still acts. It's

437
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,559
like a club or something. But
sure you turn around and but how do

438
00:29:15,559 --> 00:29:18,920
you load it while you're clubbing someone
with it? You don't? Yeah,

439
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:25,440
if you could figure that out,
they did eventually. Yeah, it's a

440
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:29,279
gun for one shot. It's a
club like house that's just gotta be like

441
00:29:30,279 --> 00:29:33,079
brutally stabby, just gotta be the
worst. Oh yeah, definitely. I

442
00:29:33,119 --> 00:29:38,480
think I'd rather do Stalingrad or something
like well, James and Jone. I

443
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,519
always want to call it Jones.
Sound Jamestown gets a little stalingradty, Yeah

444
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,400
kind of, so to Jonestown Jones
sound. Well they got the bodies.

445
00:29:45,559 --> 00:29:52,200
Yeah. After that battle, you
sent to trans Transylvania. And this is

446
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,319
where he went from just a common
farmer to John Smith the gentleman. Yeah,

447
00:29:56,359 --> 00:30:00,960
this is where he became not a
knight necessarily, but he gets a

448
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,240
title more or less. He's yeah, you know, he becomes titled after

449
00:30:04,279 --> 00:30:08,920
that. Yeah. So during the
siege of Albaalualiyah, it's just all towns

450
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,759
you guys have heard of. Yeah, I'm just saying it. Yeah,

451
00:30:12,039 --> 00:30:18,359
yeah, waged to oust the Turks
from what country city? Um, it's

452
00:30:18,359 --> 00:30:22,680
probably more pertinent to our audience.
Shit, I don't know. Yeah whatever,

453
00:30:22,799 --> 00:30:26,759
Oh it Transylvania, Okay, it's
it's such a real place, Transylvania.

454
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,599
It's not just where vampires come from. I know, he gets honored

455
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,880
by like the King of Transylvania,
the Prince Vampire royalty. Yeah, but

456
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,440
blood of the Dragon is it's still
places. Not right, Yeah, Translvannia

457
00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:41,319
is very much a country where it's
not a country, it's a part of

458
00:30:41,319 --> 00:30:42,440
a country. Oh wait, it's
definitely not a country. It's not a

459
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:51,480
country anymore. No, it's in
romaniah it does so. Um. While

460
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,799
he was trying to oust the Turks
from the capital city of Transylvania, Smith

461
00:30:53,799 --> 00:31:00,119
engaged in three duels, each ending
with the beheading of his opponent. My

462
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,440
favorite part about these dudes where I
don't know if you're getting this or not.

463
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,119
I'm gonna go over each duel.
Okay, the best part is that

464
00:31:04,119 --> 00:31:08,799
they happened because the Turks were bored. Yeah, so the the episode again

465
00:31:08,839 --> 00:31:12,559
when a Turkish captain bored with the
monotony of the siege, which I mean

466
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:17,519
we know now from Game of Thrones
sieges were pretty fucking boring. Like he

467
00:31:17,599 --> 00:31:21,880
just didn't sit upside trenches and wait
until they starved. They just keep sending

468
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,839
out champions and then John just kept
beheading It's like water, yes, yes,

469
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:32,799
one head, two head three basically
yeah. The captain challenged the Christian

470
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:37,880
officers to combates with him for his
head. Lots were drawn in the honor

471
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:44,400
to fight fella John Smith. Uh, Smith killed Hold on twenty one.

472
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,319
Yeah, he's at this point maybe
twenty three. Yeah. If how do

473
00:31:47,319 --> 00:31:49,920
you feel if you're the third Turk
going out seeing the first to be head,

474
00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:52,240
Well, I will tell you how
the third Turk feels. So no.

475
00:31:52,359 --> 00:31:55,319
But the best part is this first
guy walked out, the guy,

476
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,000
the board captain, the board Turkish
captain who was like, yeah, let's

477
00:31:59,039 --> 00:32:05,480
do this, came out out just
completely swagged as fuck. Yeah, dressed

478
00:32:05,519 --> 00:32:08,000
like a warrior guy. Did he
caressed himself before the fight? What do

479
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:14,240
you mean? Like he just he
deontay wildered it where he came out and

480
00:32:14,519 --> 00:32:16,359
wore all this ship on him.
Yes, so it was it was like

481
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:22,119
fifty pounds of gear and he hired
himself out. Happened some of the way

482
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:28,839
the um ornamentation on his armor,
I guess was described he had like angel

483
00:32:28,839 --> 00:32:34,000
wings and sings. So he just
went all out with like the presentation and

484
00:32:34,799 --> 00:32:38,079
suffered because Smith killed him on the
first pass, killed him in one one

485
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:42,960
blow. Yeah. Yeah, so
he didn't have his legs, like,

486
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,920
he didn't have his legs Tyson Fury
fight. It was essentially like I mean,

487
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,720
he didn't use a gun but it
was like that Indiana Jones scene.

488
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,839
That's where this dude comes out and
it's all like yeah, and then Smith's

489
00:32:55,839 --> 00:33:00,599
just like but instead of pow,
it's just like instead gets his head.

490
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:05,519
Yeah. So, upset by the
loss of his captain, another Turk challenged

491
00:33:05,559 --> 00:33:08,559
Smith. The bout began with an
exchange of blows and ended with pistol shots.

492
00:33:08,599 --> 00:33:13,480
Smith took a round in the breastplate, but Turkish opponents suffered a dehabilitating

493
00:33:13,519 --> 00:33:16,359
blow to his arm, eventually collapsing. But then the final duel on hold

494
00:33:16,359 --> 00:33:19,759
on, he doesn't have to talk
about this for a second. Smith get

495
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,359
shot. Oh yeah, gets gets
shot. And so I guess in the

496
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,440
breastplate it's not that bad if you
have real armor. Yeah. So,

497
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:30,680
but I mean, I've heard getting
shot in kevlar hurts a lot, apparently

498
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,839
not as bed as getting killed.
I mean, but what I'm saying is

499
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,559
he took a hard blow. Yeah, it's It's definitely not a great place

500
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,480
to get shot. You know what
the problem is though, what sucks for

501
00:33:39,519 --> 00:33:43,960
these guys is he won the first
one so fast that it's like he expended

502
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:45,559
no energy, you know, fresh, he was still fresh. He was

503
00:33:45,599 --> 00:33:49,640
fresh legs. But this second one
I think lasted a while, right,

504
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,720
I mean if they had to eventually
revert to pistols. Yeah, it eventually

505
00:33:52,759 --> 00:33:54,119
came down to pistols. I imagine
it last. So I think it long

506
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:59,200
where they had to just be like
all right, okay, which is we're

507
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,359
good at ye back to back blowed. Yeah, Oh my god. No.

508
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:06,519
I don't think he was that tired
though, because the final duel occurred

509
00:34:06,519 --> 00:34:08,440
when Smith after killing that second guy. So that's what this is why they

510
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,800
also though, so what happened,
Like the guy was like shot in the

511
00:34:12,039 --> 00:34:15,960
arm and was just like bleeding out, and Smith was like all right and

512
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,920
like cut his head off. I
believe they didn't really go into that much

513
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:22,000
detail with that part, but I
believe it's just yeah, you can't you

514
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,239
could get to a point where you
were on top of him and you kill

515
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:27,239
him. So so I that's the
other thing I don't know is is if

516
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,320
what I was curious about is if
you cut the head off after after all

517
00:34:30,559 --> 00:34:35,440
three duels or is it like each
one he's like, okay, hold on,

518
00:34:35,559 --> 00:34:37,400
you want to Yeah, we'll hold
on, Okay, anybody I gotta

519
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,360
get I gotta get you know the
rules. I gotta get this head off.

520
00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:43,760
Come on, man, have some
getting your angry. Yeah it's your

521
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:49,159
captain. I know he was bored. The swords and knives are just super

522
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,960
dull at this point. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's not like it's not

523
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,599
cutting there. You gotta bring out
a wet stone. Turn it back up

524
00:34:54,639 --> 00:34:58,079
a little bit. Cut the head
of stable ball. I bring my wet

525
00:34:58,119 --> 00:35:01,079
stone. Yeah. So, um, the finals occurred when Smith gave the

526
00:35:01,119 --> 00:35:04,400
Turks a chance to deem their honor. He's like, you want a third

527
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,639
shot, bitch, Come on,
pussies. Yeah, it's like, you

528
00:35:06,679 --> 00:35:08,960
guys suck at this. You want
to redeem yourselves, Come on and kill

529
00:35:09,119 --> 00:35:12,920
me. I think at this point, do you have any specs on how

530
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,000
like how big John Smiths was?
Um? I did not look that up.

531
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:20,400
We should look that, okay?
Was he like? Was he a

532
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,480
burly man? I mean I imagine
he's like pretty fit. If he's been

533
00:35:23,519 --> 00:35:29,639
fighting mercenary and pirate ship for a
while and he's one million percent fit,

534
00:35:30,079 --> 00:35:32,079
there is no doubt. I just
want to know what kind of height advantage

535
00:35:32,079 --> 00:35:36,159
he has over the Turks. Yeah, I mean I don't know if Turks

536
00:35:36,159 --> 00:35:42,159
had taller soldiers or anything that's English, though they're relatively shorter. They're shorter.

537
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,679
Yeah, so the I can't find
anything. Yeah, it's hard to

538
00:35:45,679 --> 00:35:50,400
find heights. It's hard to find
the roster lineup for John Smith. So

539
00:35:50,599 --> 00:35:52,920
you know, it's like the draft
where they just kind of bump him up

540
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,559
a few inches. Yeah, he's
wearing cleats when they measured him, getting

541
00:35:55,559 --> 00:35:59,320
the wrong John Smith theory there.
I have nothing on this, but he's

542
00:35:59,679 --> 00:36:02,840
there's unquestionably like he's in good ship. Yeah. Yeah, So the third

543
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:07,280
contest was settled by the use of
battle axes. I'm guessing that's how the

544
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:12,280
third beheading happened. Well, if
he didn't do them one at a time,

545
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,679
I assume the ax might have been
used for all three. Right,

546
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:19,320
Yeah, but dude, how do
you even you get shot and then you

547
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:23,079
go into a battle axe tool?
And also I feel like the battle axe

548
00:36:23,679 --> 00:36:27,960
had to be the other guy's choice, right, So what I was gonna

549
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,320
say was is that at this point
I think Smith was in full on,

550
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:37,639
like berserker blood lust mode. Yeah, he's killing you. Gotta remember from

551
00:36:37,639 --> 00:36:42,320
the time he was like seventeen or
eighteen, he wanted to kill turks really

552
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,039
bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so he's into this. Yeah no,

553
00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:47,840
at this point he was just like
the No. One album. Yeah

554
00:36:49,039 --> 00:36:51,039
no, it's like, yeah,
come on. Shot in the chest was

555
00:36:51,079 --> 00:36:54,519
actually just that adrenaline he needed.
Yeah. Yeah, like no, I

556
00:36:54,519 --> 00:36:58,800
think he's fully at this point,
just like he wants it. Yeah,

557
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,880
like they gave the first like someone
landed a punch on Tyson and he murders

558
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:05,360
his face in. He just like
hulks up. Yeah, he's holding out.

559
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,519
He's just yeah going bananas. I
mean this is like cocaine to him,

560
00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:13,239
Like he's oh yeah killing turk blood. Yeah, blood drinking it.

561
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,280
Yeah, it's like a tiger blood, but turk blood way better. Yeah.

562
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:22,239
Um. So Smith brings the three
heads for the commanding Turkish general,

563
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,239
each head mounted on a lance.
He was embraced by the general and giving

564
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:29,960
a hug. He was like,
yeah, here's your here's your captain's dude,

565
00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:34,840
and the guy was like you you
are incredible, my god, you

566
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,119
are a warrior. Let me which
is insane, come on, let me

567
00:37:37,159 --> 00:37:38,960
just hug you. No, that's
just respect. No, it's like you're

568
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,480
a good fighter. Fuck. Yeah. So you know what's funny is that

569
00:37:43,519 --> 00:37:49,239
people bitch today about like uh say, like NBA players all being friends with

570
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,280
each other and like all being like
at a boy baby a boy n's dunt

571
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,719
NiFe dunk or whatever, and like
guys cutting off heads and other guys,

572
00:37:57,079 --> 00:37:59,800
Hey, here's your lower rates heads. Yeah. No, I mean it's

573
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,639
like what job hell UFC fight?
Now? Where got two guys go to

574
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,840
war that hate each other. By
the end of the fight they end up

575
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,880
like hugging dude. But people get
pissed off about that. People are like,

576
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,480
no, I want him get all
the time. Others it's not real

577
00:38:10,559 --> 00:38:14,880
to me. Those punches weren't good
enough. There's nothing you're on the edge

578
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:19,920
of death or at this point for
this like situation just way past the edge

579
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:23,000
of death. Yeah, I think
there's just a respect that has gained.

580
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:27,639
Yeah. I think they're all just
psychos mostly. I think there's nothing realer

581
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:32,199
than three heads on in a presentation, like there's three heads of your lower

582
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,360
ranks. It's like, well,
what do you want him to say?

583
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,599
Like, oh no, it's like
word damn. Also, another funny thing

584
00:38:39,599 --> 00:38:46,320
about this is like how did he
go about finding the general? Like all

585
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,400
right, I'll bring out your general
because I want to show him what I

586
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,119
did. Maybe he's up the top. Yeah. General's like, oh shit,

587
00:38:52,599 --> 00:38:58,840
why good, he's good fucking guy. Bring him over here. You

588
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,639
a mercenary, you want to fight
for us? I think that's a common

589
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:06,920
theme though throughout history because you just
have all these like Hannibal Ragnar if he

590
00:39:07,039 --> 00:39:10,119
ever like really existed, but like
all these people just have mutual respect for

591
00:39:10,159 --> 00:39:15,559
each other once they like just have
a certain amount of bodies under their fucking

592
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,280
kill count. Yeah, they're the
only ones who understand each other. Right,

593
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,719
It's like, well, yeah,
the misery of war or I guess

594
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:28,519
for John Smith, the fucking pure
boner inducing blood lust of war, the

595
00:39:28,679 --> 00:39:32,320
sheer high of war. Yes.
So also the general gives him a horse

596
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:37,440
and a jewel encrusted scimitar, which
is the curvy sword. Curvy sword.

597
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:38,880
No, he gave him a sword
covered in jewels, yeah, hot,

598
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:44,199
a hot jewel puffer. No,
he gave him a jewel encrusted curvy sword.

599
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,440
Hell. Yeah, He's like,
this is fucking dope. You deserve

600
00:39:46,519 --> 00:39:50,239
my god. You're good at killing
my men. Would you like a pretty

601
00:39:50,599 --> 00:39:52,800
help? Yeah? You need fancy
weapon. Here's a horse too. This

602
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:57,199
day, so he cutting heads off
with a coat hanger over there. Let

603
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,679
me give you a good one.
Yeah. So apparently, um, the

604
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,360
biggest honor to him though, was
the Prince of Transylvania. After all,

605
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:07,920
this gives down Grant Smith the right
to wear three Turkish heads on his shield

606
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:12,440
and bestows on him the title of
English Gentlemen. Yeah so vampire royalty.

607
00:40:12,679 --> 00:40:15,440
Yeah so the and I think the
significance here is that he has the right

608
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:20,119
to wear a sigil on his shield, and that's John smith sigil. If

609
00:40:20,159 --> 00:40:24,039
you go and look at the picture
is three heads. So he has three

610
00:40:24,119 --> 00:40:28,639
heads on his shield. That's his
thing. That's like his family sigil.

611
00:40:29,159 --> 00:40:32,320
Oh yeah, it's his family sigil. And not only that, Um,

612
00:40:32,559 --> 00:40:38,760
it's like the fucking Bolton's from him. Not there. There is a church

613
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:43,880
in England where he's from or buried
or something I can't remember, that has

614
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,360
a stained glass window dedicated to him
with his crest. So this is a

615
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:52,440
church that has three decapitated Turkish heads
on its stained glass on a stained glass

616
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,119
window. History is so fucking weird, dude. This is why I like

617
00:40:55,239 --> 00:41:00,079
read shit like that, and then
I see people in general. I always

618
00:41:00,079 --> 00:41:02,559
like to get philosophical. You guys
know me at this point, I see

619
00:41:02,599 --> 00:41:07,559
people in general be like like what
we can try now, what like what

620
00:41:07,639 --> 00:41:09,079
we complained about now compared toive like, well we can play about now.

621
00:41:09,159 --> 00:41:15,800
But also like people like making up
all these like crazy things that like run

622
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:19,599
like even if you just want to
go like like the Illuminati or like Qann,

623
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:24,920
It's like the world is already bananas. Like if you are not already

624
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:29,599
looking at the world like it's crazy
in a lot of ways and you need

625
00:41:29,639 --> 00:41:32,840
to invent new things to make it
seem crazy, you're not attention. I

626
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:36,400
think they make new things to make
sense of it. Yeah, but I

627
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,440
mean also the history of our world
is pretty much just war. It's chas,

628
00:41:39,599 --> 00:41:45,000
it's chaos until maybe it's chased.
The fucking and the lake rep said,

629
00:41:45,039 --> 00:41:46,719
I mean there's insanity to it.
And it's like, think about how

630
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:51,039
insane it is that some dude be
heading some people in Austria and Transylvania or

631
00:41:51,079 --> 00:41:54,400
in Transylvania rather leads to a sting
glass window in a church in England with

632
00:41:54,639 --> 00:41:57,719
three heads on it. Yeah,
like the crest on it. Yeah,

633
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,519
that's that's not planned. There's no
grand world order there. It is fucking

634
00:42:00,639 --> 00:42:04,119
nuts. Let's people do weird shit. Yeah. Oh, by the way,

635
00:42:04,159 --> 00:42:08,079
so that Transylvanian prince, I think
would have been like if it's the

636
00:42:08,199 --> 00:42:14,320
same line, if the line hadn't
been broken, would be This is like

637
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:21,800
one hundred and thirty years after Vladim
Paler Tracula. Yeah so great, great,

638
00:42:22,199 --> 00:42:24,320
yeah, great, great, Yeah, grandfather, he's blood of the

639
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:29,320
dragon Dracula. Yeah yeah, yeah, that's because Dracula vlood Dracula, I

640
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,639
believe, just means dragon king.
Okay, yeah, or Dracula means dragon

641
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:37,639
I didn't know. Yeah, so
um later on down the line, he

642
00:42:38,199 --> 00:42:43,440
oh my god, no, it's
not so get this. All of that

643
00:42:43,519 --> 00:42:46,480
shit happened in one year. Yeah, all of that shit I just talked

644
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:52,960
about from the gunpowder matchlock shit on
the Eastern Um, whatever, there's no

645
00:42:53,079 --> 00:42:55,960
time to waste, no, all
in one year, he headed three people,

646
00:42:57,079 --> 00:43:00,199
he started doing fiery dragons, and
he started doing ghost armies and ship

647
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:05,880
That all happened in Wait, so
he doesn't get injured by the Tartars until

648
00:43:06,639 --> 00:43:09,119
sixteen o two. Well, that's
not really that important to that part of

649
00:43:09,159 --> 00:43:13,480
the story. Yeah. So that's
like almost a year. So we're not

650
00:43:13,519 --> 00:43:15,480
even in the sixteen No, we
are in sixteen o two, right now,

651
00:43:15,639 --> 00:43:20,000
Okay, so all that time he's
twenty one. Yeah, insane,

652
00:43:20,519 --> 00:43:23,039
But dude, my story is from
twenty one. Are like, yeah,

653
00:43:23,039 --> 00:43:29,679
I fucking took three shots to ever
clear that night, man, fucking three

654
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,000
three heads. It's like I took
three Turkish heads? How do you make

655
00:43:32,079 --> 00:43:40,199
that? War always stays the same. So in sixteen o two, in

656
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:45,320
November sixteen o two, he got
wounded in a battle with the Tartars and

657
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:50,920
different Muslim group. Yeah yeah,
the Tartars. Yeah, uh yeah,

658
00:43:51,559 --> 00:43:57,320
he needs some Tartar control with his
crest. Anyway, he alerted by his

659
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:01,880
groans. Scavengers stripped the corpses rest
skewed or scrip the strip the corpses from

660
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,719
the battle, and they were like, wait a minute, what's that growing

661
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,119
guy? And they pulled Smith from
the heaps of dead people like he was

662
00:44:08,159 --> 00:44:15,360
just buried under like hell of dead
bodies. Yeah, basically falling out.

663
00:44:15,559 --> 00:44:19,039
Yeah, They're like, oh,
this guy's alive. So they like heal

664
00:44:19,079 --> 00:44:21,519
his wounds and they're like, hey, this guy would be a really dope

665
00:44:21,639 --> 00:44:24,400
slave. Yeah, this guy,
this guy would be good to sell at

666
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:28,159
the slave market. When I feel
like when they even when they found him,

667
00:44:28,159 --> 00:44:30,000
they were just like, hey,
here's got some property here. It's

668
00:44:30,079 --> 00:44:34,159
like keep this one. I found
the property, Get you get him,

669
00:44:34,199 --> 00:44:37,880
I'll get the saddle. Yeah right, so um As Smith describes being sold

670
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:43,719
at the slave market, we all
sold for slaves like beasts in a marketplace

671
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,239
where every merchant, viewing their limbs
and wounds, caused other slaves to struggle

672
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:50,280
with them to try their strength.
So these guys all beat up words,

673
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,239
Dudelet so we do have records though, John he could. He was writing

674
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:57,840
a bunch of stuff down right throughout
his Yeah, he has a whole recounting

675
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,760
stuff like he was carrying a diary, right. Yeah, he wrote a

676
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:04,920
memoir later a couple Yeah. So
just to recount here real quick, I

677
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,800
feel like we should re summarize this
man's life. Okay, So yeah,

678
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:14,159
sixteen, he quits his job as
a merchant apprentice. Yeah. Between sixteen

679
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:19,840
and twenty twenty one, he is
in three wars. Annie is a pirate.

680
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,159
He's torn a very successful pirate.
Yeah, very successful pirate makes him

681
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:27,039
rich. That was a short time
of that period, but also takes a

682
00:45:27,119 --> 00:45:29,679
leap year in Italy. He also
does that France. I think at some

683
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,920
point. Yeah. Yeah, it
takes a gap year in Italy and France.

684
00:45:32,039 --> 00:45:37,000
Yeah, he does, like before
setting becoming a pirate, He's in

685
00:45:37,119 --> 00:45:39,679
France for a little bit. Um. He gets tired of doing nothing in

686
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:44,199
Italy being a rich young person,
so he goes to Austria to fight in

687
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:49,599
an Australian battle division. Yeah,
to fight Turks because he hates Turks.

688
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:54,480
And in that one year from sixteen
o one to sixteen o two, he

689
00:45:54,719 --> 00:46:02,000
wins two siege battles brilliantly, Yeah, brilliantly, and also decapitates three one

690
00:46:02,079 --> 00:46:06,880
high ranking Turkish military official, as
well as two others that are fighting for

691
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,639
his defense. He gets embraced by
the general of the Turkish Army, gets

692
00:46:10,679 --> 00:46:15,239
gifted to the sword and a horse, and earns a title as a literal,

693
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:20,280
literally elevates himself an entire class.
Yeah, definitely, elevates himself from

694
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:24,719
farmer to gentlemen. And then this
man was not a gentleman a couple months.

695
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:29,920
A couple months later, he's a
slave. Yeah, so then he

696
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,880
becomes a slave. So if you're
keeping track, it's warrior the highest of

697
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:40,280
high it's farmer, it's farmer apprentice, warrior mercenary, pirate, backpacker,

698
00:46:42,199 --> 00:46:45,519
mercenary again, mercenary again, slave
play, yeah, he is at this

699
00:46:45,599 --> 00:46:53,639
point in Joe Warrior then fucking slave. Yeah yeah, it's crazy. So

700
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:58,480
uh yeah, he gets sold in
the slave market, and he was purchased

701
00:46:58,559 --> 00:47:01,119
by a Turkish nobleman who thought he
would make like a good gift for his

702
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:07,960
Greek mistress and Constantinople, which sure, why which that one through me because

703
00:47:07,039 --> 00:47:12,800
like, Greeks don't like Turks,
so what does a Greek mistress do?

704
00:47:13,679 --> 00:47:16,719
She is Greek, but at that
point Constantinople had been Turkish for like a

705
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,360
one hundred fifty years. That's what
I'm saying, that Greeks don't like Turks,

706
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,000
and Turks don't like Greeks. So
she was Turkish though, really,

707
00:47:22,079 --> 00:47:25,039
I mean like she was. I
mean the constant constant Noble just like a

708
00:47:25,119 --> 00:47:28,199
center point of the world at that
point. Yeah. Yeah, it's the

709
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,079
most it maybe the most important city
in the world that point in constant Noble

710
00:47:30,119 --> 00:47:35,599
had been Turkish or Ottoman or whatever
you want to call it for literally almost

711
00:47:35,639 --> 00:47:37,679
exactly one hundred and fifty years at
that point. They fell in fourteen fifty

712
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,840
three, So okay, yeah,
so, I mean, at this point,

713
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:45,000
she's just a rich lady living in
New York and he sends her yeah,

714
00:47:45,119 --> 00:47:46,519
nice present, which is send her
pet. What I want to know

715
00:47:46,599 --> 00:47:51,239
is so she like falls in love
with him. Yeah, I want to

716
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:55,000
know is was he sent to her
as just like a fuck boy dildo?

717
00:47:57,119 --> 00:48:01,400
Look at this strong dildo. It
kind of sounds like he might have been

718
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:07,480
sold into slavery but only for sex. So he's a sex slave, but

719
00:48:07,639 --> 00:48:10,559
dildo, he's a living dildo.
Yeah. So she becomes infatuated with them,

720
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:15,800
and she's really scared that her mom
is gonna sell him for some reason,

721
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:16,760
like the mom's just gonna sell him
off. Like, ah, she

722
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:21,760
can't be fucking the slave all day. Yeah. Yeah, so she hit

723
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:27,039
him under her bed and actually in
the nightstand. Yeah yeah, he would

724
00:48:27,039 --> 00:48:30,440
buzz and she would shut up.
Yeah damn it. Yeah, but she

725
00:48:30,599 --> 00:48:36,519
was sent but but oh sorry,
uh you guys playing footsie. No,

726
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:40,119
I'm fucking with chords. So she
was. I thought blasting your jewel into

727
00:48:40,159 --> 00:48:45,039
the mic would have done it enough. No, absolutely not. So she

728
00:48:45,199 --> 00:48:49,159
sent Smith to her brother. Her
brother was the administrator of an Ottoman fief

729
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,760
on the Black Sea. Yeah,
these rich people being rich. Yeah,

730
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:53,960
right, of course. And she
thought he could be trained into a bureaucrat

731
00:48:54,039 --> 00:48:58,519
that could eventually be married one day, like she could actually marry John Smith

732
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,840
because yeah title, well no,
but not a not a not an Islamic

733
00:49:04,039 --> 00:49:07,320
Turkish title. Yeah, apparently a
lot of converts in like the Ottoman Empire.

734
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:12,280
If you convert from Christianity to Islam, you can work your way get

735
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,400
a solid job. You can get
a solid job in administration in the government.

736
00:49:15,559 --> 00:49:17,639
Yeah, you could be a real
show his jewel sword that he got,

737
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:22,400
like I did cut off? Call
up general, what's fun? You

738
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,239
know. I don't think he was
allowed to keep it. He should have.

739
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:29,440
Why didn't he? They must have
taken it off him. Know,

740
00:49:29,519 --> 00:49:32,440
I would say, be like,
go like, call for this Turkish general.

741
00:49:32,639 --> 00:49:36,440
It is my boy. He'll say, he'll vouch for me. Yeah,

742
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:37,719
let me fight for that, dude. I don't give a shit.

743
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:42,000
And then I'll affect Austria or something. I don't know. Uh So,

744
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,000
you know, she sends him off
to her brother to like train him up

745
00:49:45,039 --> 00:49:47,159
to be like a good bureaucrat guy
and teach him all the Islam stuff.

746
00:49:47,679 --> 00:49:52,119
There was there's like, uh no, I'm gonna make him the slave of

747
00:49:52,159 --> 00:49:54,079
all the Christian slaves. Fuck this
guy. He was a fuck boy.

748
00:49:54,159 --> 00:49:57,800
He was a slave. He was
the slave of a slave. So now

749
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:01,760
he's gone from slave to gildo,
slave to slave slave slave slave. Yeah,

750
00:50:04,559 --> 00:50:07,400
apparently, And if you're a roller
coaster, people are like, man,

751
00:50:07,519 --> 00:50:13,519
my twenty twenty has been so bad. Sixteen o two was a nightmare.

752
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,679
Yeah, because imagine going from like, I don't know, you just

753
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:21,400
hit like the stock market boom in
the late eighties or whatever or early eighties

754
00:50:21,679 --> 00:50:24,840
whenever that was. And his sixteen
o two was cocaine. Yeah, well

755
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:30,519
sixteen o one, his sixteen oh
two was crack. Yeah, sixteen oh

756
00:50:30,559 --> 00:50:34,719
one was cocaine. Sixteen o two
was cracked for him. So he's the

757
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,159
slave to all these Christian slaves.
He's a slave's slave. He's the most

758
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:42,159
non nourished, the most abused.
He's your favorite slaves favorite slave. Yeah,

759
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,920
he's a real slave slave. Yeah. So he begins looking for opportunities

760
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:50,880
to escape. One day, the
brother out inspecting the work alone. The

761
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,599
same guy. Was it the same
guy, the brother? Oh it was

762
00:50:52,679 --> 00:50:57,559
that guy, the head of the
fief. Yeah, okay, the brother

763
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,519
is fucking hated John Smith. Yeah, this guy was like had it out

764
00:51:01,599 --> 00:51:05,800
for him. Yeah. So he's
out inspecting the work alone like an idiot.

765
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,920
He comes across Smith, He's like, huh, I'm gonna beat you.

766
00:51:08,039 --> 00:51:10,440
Yeah, I'm gonna beat the shit
this guy did he did he have

767
00:51:10,639 --> 00:51:15,440
any idea, no background research?
Yeah, no, no one knew.

768
00:51:15,559 --> 00:51:20,480
I guess what they had as the
slave slave, I'm nothing. No,

769
00:51:20,559 --> 00:51:24,000
it's fine. It's just like it's
like walking out into a field and I

770
00:51:24,039 --> 00:51:28,320
don't I don't even know you,
like find like Tom Brady out there and

771
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,760
you're like, I'm challenging this piece
of shit to a throwing contest, right,

772
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:36,039
be a good idea, now,
But this is Dan trying to tell

773
00:51:36,039 --> 00:51:39,880
you he thinks he can outthrow tons
today. No h So Smith snaps when

774
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:44,880
this guy's beating him in a moment
that he describes his forgetting all reason,

775
00:51:45,039 --> 00:51:47,760
which is so not true. He
was itching for this, Oh yeah he

776
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:51,480
wanted it, So so what does
that even mean? I was like,

777
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:53,360
I forgot I was a slave,
and I just beat his brain. She

778
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:57,320
should have been a better slave,
Yeah, I should have really not bashed

779
00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:00,079
his brain in with a fucking threshing
man. It wasn't measured enough. Yeah,

780
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,679
he was threshing wheat, and so
when the guy started beating him,

781
00:52:02,679 --> 00:52:06,599
he just bashed his skull in with
the threshing bat. Yeah. Which,

782
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:08,840
Yeah, he tried to beat a
guy with a threshing bat, which says

783
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:12,159
the thing, the guy's got a
bat, what do you hey, put

784
00:52:12,199 --> 00:52:14,440
down the bat. I'm gonna beat
the shit out of here. It's like

785
00:52:15,159 --> 00:52:16,559
who else he got around here?
No one just me. Yeah, it's

786
00:52:16,599 --> 00:52:22,039
just me for like two thousand feet, no one can see me. Put

787
00:52:22,119 --> 00:52:27,199
that bat down. Yeah, I
want to get it. So yeah,

788
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:31,679
Smith promptly killed him. Was probably
like I'm gonna fuck this pussy up because

789
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:37,320
this other guy was for sure not
a soldier and he was just like he's

790
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,559
just a rich guy. He's a
rich guy, and he was like to

791
00:52:39,599 --> 00:52:43,079
get you. Smith was just like, fuck, all right, come on,

792
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,440
let's go. Yeah. So Smith, after killing a guy, hit

793
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:49,599
the body under some straw and then
threw the dude's clothes on and stole his

794
00:52:49,679 --> 00:52:52,159
horse and then rode off into the
desert. And then I guess it would

795
00:52:52,199 --> 00:52:57,280
be like a year before he gets
back to England. In sixteen oh four,

796
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,639
Yeah, he he went back to
uh the vampire guy for I think,

797
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:02,239
yeah he did and was like,
hey, it's me um, I

798
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,440
you know, but got made a
slave, you know how it is,

799
00:53:05,519 --> 00:53:07,840
and uh and and like he was
like, Okay, I'll hope you get

800
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:12,519
back to England or thing. It's
yeah, it's not that much important detail.

801
00:53:12,599 --> 00:53:15,480
He just gets back. So when
he returns to England, like,

802
00:53:15,559 --> 00:53:20,440
colonizations starting to be the real hot
topic, and this is kind of yeah,

803
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:24,400
they're not. Just so at this
point, it's literally been a century

804
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:32,159
since the Americas were discovered, right, but there hadn't really been any English

805
00:53:32,199 --> 00:53:36,639
colony, serious English colonies, right, And the reason for that is that

806
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:40,320
England wasn't a total monarchy at the
time. So they couldn't just well,

807
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:44,320
I'm the king, we're gonna colonize
now. They had to I don't know

808
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,199
if it was through the Court of
Nobles or if there was some sort of

809
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:50,679
decision. We definitely know the House
of Lords was the more powerful. Yeah,

810
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:52,360
so Chamber at the time or whatever
you want to call it, or

811
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:55,559
the House of Lords, right,
so they couldn't just be like, well,

812
00:53:55,559 --> 00:53:59,159
i'm the king, We're gonna colonize
some ship front the money. Let's

813
00:53:59,199 --> 00:54:01,840
go. Spain could do that.
They were a total monarchy, and Portugal

814
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:09,119
and Portugal France also could. They
were pretty absolute. But I think that

815
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:15,000
unlike I mean France, Portugal and
Spain, I think we're pretty much just

816
00:54:15,159 --> 00:54:19,639
kind of like in the early phases
of like just strip mining basically, you

817
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:22,320
know, like they were just sending
people out. France actually developed a really

818
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,199
good network of trade. I think
it was more than the Spanish and Portuguese

819
00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:29,599
that were just like sending people over
and take the resources basically fun the people

820
00:54:29,639 --> 00:54:34,159
to France. France was pretty tight
with the with the natives. Yeah.

821
00:54:35,159 --> 00:54:38,239
Yeah, gotta forget where I read
this, but there was something to um

822
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:43,400
just to kind of pre preface this. I don't know where to insert this,

823
00:54:43,519 --> 00:54:47,079
but there was also just like a
very whitewashing of talking about indigenous people

824
00:54:47,119 --> 00:54:51,480
at the time too. They were
like, I know, England was very

825
00:54:51,519 --> 00:54:55,920
concerned about the Spaniards catholicizing, like
converting everyone to Catholicism over there, and

826
00:54:55,920 --> 00:55:00,760
they're like, oh god, we
gotta get these people to be more Protestant.

827
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:04,559
So well, the last thing you
want another hundred million people against you,

828
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,559
right, Yeah, so many fucking
people are where you know, so

829
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,920
Spain's like obviously building all these connections. It's like, well, shit,

830
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:14,159
they're really powerful already. Well and
the other thing too, is just Catholic.

831
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,239
Even if they don't get more people, it's more Catholic land and wealth

832
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:21,400
than resources. It's just more powerful
the pope. Yeah, baby, let's

833
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:24,960
go. So we took the NBA
today. We did shouts, man,

834
00:55:25,119 --> 00:55:30,320
I mean, Pope Frances is out
here like in a former TFM girls photos.

835
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,119
So it was this hue form TFM
girl. Yeah that was you know

836
00:55:32,199 --> 00:55:36,440
what. He was a bouncer in
Argentina, not Agata or whatever. Natalie

837
00:55:36,639 --> 00:55:38,960
she used to take over our snapchat. I heard that was fake. No,

838
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:44,119
there are so many worse things he
could have liked. So yeah,

839
00:55:44,159 --> 00:55:46,360
he's an ass man. He's from
Argentina. Yeah, he likes the juicy

840
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:50,840
ladies. I thought I heard it
was fake, but I don't care.

841
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:52,719
Yeah, you know what what the
Pope like an ass on Instagram? Yeah

842
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:57,760
whatever? Lease, he didn't like
like a young Hilly Joel Osman's picture.

843
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,480
So the hot ass, this cool
cool boat man he looks ask photos.

844
00:56:01,639 --> 00:56:07,000
Yeah, he just liked the trunk
whatever. Anyway, So um Smith is

845
00:56:07,039 --> 00:56:12,000
like, yo, you guys are
doing colonization. That's sick. That's another

846
00:56:12,079 --> 00:56:17,400
adventure. I want to be a
colonist. Guy's literally at this point he's

847
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:21,599
like, I was a slave for
so long. I think he also might

848
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,880
have, I believe it or not
becoming a slave, it becomes a real

849
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:30,840
hit to your wealth. Yeah,
it turns out think, yeah, well

850
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,760
I think I don't think he had
anything left. No, he did,

851
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:37,320
because he was he was. What
happens all your wealth? There's is there

852
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:39,679
a bank system back then? Do
you know? I was actually thinking that

853
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:45,960
as I was reading this, I
was like, I'm such a pussy that

854
00:56:45,039 --> 00:56:47,400
I was like, oh, boy, I hope before he went to Austria

855
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:51,119
to fight those Turks he put whatever
Goldie had left from pirrating in like a

856
00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:53,599
Venetian bank or something like, Oh, come on, Like you can't just

857
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:59,639
hope. I don't think you can
trust not being near the bank at that

858
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,280
time, because like you couldn't joy
in Italy you could those banks were fucking

859
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:07,679
oh really yeah tight? Yeah man? Yeah really yeah they were. They

860
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,400
were fucking serious. Damn. It
wasn't just like oh you forgot your money,

861
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:13,159
Oh no, you don't have any
money. I don't know who you

862
00:57:13,159 --> 00:57:15,960
are you gonna go and get out
that get out. So they were like,

863
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,840
I really want to bring my Italian
acts and every week now. But

864
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:21,360
they were like the Brasos of Yeah, we'll always just default a game of

865
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:23,719
throne. Yeah, that's how I
understand the fifteen hundreds. Yeah I believe

866
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:28,920
that actually was based on met Us. Yeah it sounds like it because if

867
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,239
you look at the city and stuff, it does look somewhat but y know,

868
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:32,880
I think it's like a port city. Yeah. Yeah. Um.

869
00:57:34,199 --> 00:57:36,199
Anyway, so he's like, yeah, I want to go colonizing, Like,

870
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:37,960
let's talk to the dudes that are
doing it, and they're like,

871
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:42,400
you're a fucking farmer, bro,
we don't care what the Prince of transport.

872
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:47,599
Yeah, some vampire made you not
a farmer. Okay, last night,

873
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,199
you have to meet us at noon
to tell us that. Oh weight

874
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:54,599
he can't because he's a fucking vampire. Yeah he's in Transylvania. I heard

875
00:57:54,679 --> 00:57:59,199
you were a slave. You're a
fucking farmer, dude. You're lucky if

876
00:57:59,199 --> 00:58:05,360
you don't have you in chains.
And so he, being the cunning little

877
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,400
guy is, he decides to make
friends with all the people that are actually

878
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,360
gonna be charting the expedition, right, So he makes friends with the people

879
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:14,440
that are doing all the navigation.
The ship captains, probably a fun guy

880
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,519
to drink with, great stories.
Oh my god, this guy's stories for

881
00:58:16,719 --> 00:58:20,639
days. Like I would drink with
him right now. If he's like going

882
00:58:20,719 --> 00:58:23,199
into an interview and somebody sees that
you were like a CEO of a company,

883
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:27,280
and then he went down to intern
it's like, what happened? He

884
00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:31,199
went to prison for the prison but
not but not for a white collar crime,

885
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:37,679
not like murder. And then it's
like in another country too. Yeah,

886
00:58:37,119 --> 00:58:40,800
it's like, CEO, I was
just arrested for murder in Thailand.

887
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,599
I was in this uh, I
was in this Turkish prison for a while.

888
00:58:45,719 --> 00:58:47,199
Yeah, it was really midnight expressing
it, you know how it goes.

889
00:58:49,119 --> 00:58:52,159
Hey, that's on the movie list
for anyone one bunch of the movies

890
00:58:52,159 --> 00:58:55,639
that we talk about. Yeah.
Um so anyway, Yeah, so eventually

891
00:58:55,719 --> 00:59:00,519
he makes good enough friends, and
of course England cannot do just like whatever

892
00:59:00,599 --> 00:59:05,159
colonization it wants, so the Virginia
Company is formed. They were more again

893
00:59:05,239 --> 00:59:08,079
talking about my ass, but they
were way more. I think not,

894
00:59:08,199 --> 00:59:13,960
I think I'm almost positive just way
more privatized. Yeah, it was a

895
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:17,280
privatized They outsourced the privatized industry,
so people would have to gather funds together.

896
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:21,760
A lot of rich people put funds
together, organized the trip, and

897
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,719
they'd apply for a charter, Yeah, to go over to North America,

898
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:27,960
specifically the East coast that was being
you know, it was it was,

899
00:59:28,079 --> 00:59:30,880
it was more I would say,
just this is more more of a private

900
00:59:31,039 --> 00:59:36,280
enterprise than the Spanish or Portuguese like
a travel agency. Yeah. No,

901
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:39,199
no, it's like a business.
It's like I don't know, it's not

902
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:44,719
quite like Elon Musk going to Mars, but businesses were made in order to

903
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,039
travel to places too, because basically, think about it like this, like

904
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:51,000
this is essentially a tech startup,
if you will. Like, yeah,

905
00:59:51,119 --> 00:59:53,719
they get a bunch of money together
and they have a board that oversees the

906
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:58,719
company, and they contract out people
to go over to these places and strip

907
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:02,519
resources and get money from those places. So it's an investment to put money

908
01:00:02,559 --> 01:00:07,360
into these expeditions to other places because
they're hoping to have more in return to

909
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,800
come back, and they'll also generate
more wealth from an stat like a plantation

910
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:15,920
there establishment there. Yeah, um
so Smith actually does have a little bit

911
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:16,960
of money now I think about it, because he was able to put down

912
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:21,320
some money for this too, and
by making funds with everybody, probably he

913
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,320
did put that goal away somewhere,
probably under a tree. Dug it back

914
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:30,000
up? Yeah, yeah, or
he pond is jeweled sword that long.

915
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:35,280
Yeah, I wish that was in
a museum somewhere. See it. Would

916
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:37,400
you buy John Smith sword? No? If I was like Nick Cage,

917
01:00:37,599 --> 01:00:40,599
yeah, put it up in the
Lollary mansion. Yeah, above the fucking

918
01:00:40,639 --> 01:00:45,199
fireplace. Just have a bunch of
Turkish and I just buy he buy the

919
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:49,559
three heads, yeah, skulls.
Yeah, these are the three heads that

920
01:00:49,639 --> 01:00:54,599
were cut off. Three skulls.
Anyway, so he gets picked to go

921
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:59,920
on He gets chosen to go on
one of the three ships to Virginia.

922
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:06,440
And this is where we start getting
into the Jamestown story finally. Yeah,

923
01:01:06,599 --> 01:01:12,119
the almost sort of Thanksgiving the part
of this story. Yeah, so I

924
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:15,239
like what we're like an hour or
something, doesn't matter, James. People

925
01:01:15,239 --> 01:01:20,880
are driving way, it's right now. Somebody's listening in their car. It's

926
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:25,039
Wednesday. They're about to go to
the bar. Yeah, when they get

927
01:01:25,119 --> 01:01:29,079
home, Well, it depends what
state you're in, so you Thinksgiving is

928
01:01:29,079 --> 01:01:32,159
gonna have to I'm taking a mental
break from before I dive into Jamestown real

929
01:01:32,239 --> 01:01:37,159
quick and discussing this with you since
Rob's up anyway. Yeah, Rob,

930
01:01:37,239 --> 01:01:42,960
you gratie can't see But yeah,
for the people listening in their car to

931
01:01:43,159 --> 01:01:45,760
the audio form of this, yeah, I'm sure that you know they're driving

932
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:49,519
a few hours home. This has
got to be the worst time ever to

933
01:01:49,599 --> 01:01:52,199
go home for Thanksgiving. Like,
you can't go out and see people if

934
01:01:52,199 --> 01:01:55,920
you can't see me, can't see
Mema. You're not a liability. Yeah,

935
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:00,320
you're a liability to Mema as well. I mean in Florida, Texas

936
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:05,800
if you're coming back here it's Wednesday
night before thanks Giving. Texas isn't doing

937
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:07,400
that bad on the map from what
I saw, except for in West Texas.

938
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:10,320
Yeah, i'll pass. It's not
doing too hot. Yeah, our

939
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:15,960
areas are Actually we're okay. Travis
County is doing right. Yeah. Regardless,

940
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:17,159
you're going to see that girl from
the high school that passed you up

941
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:21,639
and you're gonna give her COVID.
Yeah, you're gonna give her the worst.

942
01:02:21,719 --> 01:02:22,559
Yea, we've talked about this,
how COVID is the new STD.

943
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:27,760
Yeah, asshole, Brandon gave me
COVID. Then we're a face condom.

944
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:34,400
Yeah. Anyway, So, speaking
of long trips home or anywhere, they

945
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:38,000
set sail and this boat trip that
was supposed to take about a month to

946
01:02:38,079 --> 01:02:43,480
get over to Virginia takes five because
the weather is really bad, so really

947
01:02:43,519 --> 01:02:46,559
only a month usually swea. Yeah, if according to plan it was always

948
01:02:46,599 --> 01:02:49,400
gonna to take about a month,
a month and a half, it ends

949
01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:53,119
up taking five. Along the way, there is some sort of skirmish with

950
01:02:53,719 --> 01:02:59,199
John Smith and like no one's for
sure what happened, doesn't Yeah, no

951
01:02:59,239 --> 01:03:02,119
one says it doesn't really Yeah,
just they claim he did a mutiny.

952
01:03:02,239 --> 01:03:06,760
Did just Alpha's being Alpha? Yeah, I think that's that's that's my I

953
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:08,199
agree with that. I agree with
that theory. So one of the theories

954
01:03:08,559 --> 01:03:13,960
too, Alpha's bashing heads. HOLI
turkyads. You cut off Bro, you

955
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,320
could Anne, that's what thought.
Bro probably disrespected him, didn't know anything

956
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:20,440
about John Smith. John was just
kind of laying back and then he's just

957
01:03:20,519 --> 01:03:22,639
like all right, push comes a
shove. So I wreck heads. I

958
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:29,360
wreck heads also be off Yes,
bash one in bash one him with a

959
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:31,280
threshing bat, so it was a
fief. They probably thought he was a

960
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:37,440
liar. Let's be real, he
would have your goddamn Turkish story. You

961
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:42,880
didn't cut off shit. Wre's the
jeweled dagger, bro like or the jewel

962
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,639
Yeah, yeah, you got a
jewel dagger from a Turk. Where is

963
01:03:45,679 --> 01:03:47,679
it that? Oh you were slowing, that's fucking convenient. You're you got

964
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:51,800
hugged by a Turkish general for killing
his men and putting him on pikes.

965
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:53,719
Yeah, but you became a slave. Oh yeah, I heard that one

966
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:57,360
before. And then you batched the
guy's head in and you were just kind

967
01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:00,119
of a broke dude in England.
Yeah, no way to no way to

968
01:04:00,199 --> 01:04:05,000
prove it. Yeah, so and
this is all jumbled. I'm sorry I

969
01:04:05,079 --> 01:04:08,639
didn't write this all down. I'm
going from memory here at this spoint a

970
01:04:08,679 --> 01:04:10,840
month. So he did. Actually
he did have a little way way to

971
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:14,320
prove it, because he did get
proof I think second time around from the

972
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:17,440
Transylvania guy. Yeah, the vampire
prints. I don't I didn't honestly get

973
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:21,079
the Parne writing. Now. Either
way, he comes, you know the

974
01:04:21,199 --> 01:04:26,440
most of it. They're like,
whatever, dude, what so he almost

975
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:29,800
comes the blows with the captain,
one of the higher ranking people in the

976
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,199
ship, one of the gentlemen.
The nobleman on the ship wanted, like,

977
01:04:32,559 --> 01:04:35,000
you know, respect from the ranks
of people like John Smith. And

978
01:04:35,079 --> 01:04:40,880
John Smith's like, fuck, you
have cut off heads and like you got.

979
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,559
It's like this guy doesn't work.
That's talking shit to him too,

980
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:45,400
Like let's be real, the gentleman
in the nobles at this time, don't

981
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:48,960
do manual labor. You don't work. It's like an officer talking down to

982
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:54,320
an infantryman. It's been like like
a new officer, like just from officer,

983
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:58,440
just got out of West Point and
he's like you remember, and they

984
01:04:58,519 --> 01:05:02,360
do this other dude, it's like
kill don like seven tours in Iraq.

985
01:05:02,599 --> 01:05:05,400
Yeah, And he's like, man, I should frag you for that.

986
01:05:06,519 --> 01:05:11,440
Um so yeah, and before I
start so they put him in chains.

987
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:14,960
They're like, this guy's combative and
he's a dick. We're gonna put John

988
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:17,079
Smith in chains. Before they set
sale. Though, the Virginia Company had

989
01:05:17,119 --> 01:05:20,599
a strict set of rules for the
colony as well as a list of people

990
01:05:20,599 --> 01:05:26,199
who would be on high council for
leadership, and it was all completely it

991
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:29,440
was a sealed box. Open it
beforehand, you couldn't open it before Christmas.

992
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:33,039
And it was to make sure that
in fighting didn't happen within the groups.

993
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:36,960
Well, that people weren't pissed about
like who got to be governor before

994
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,760
you actually got there? Yeah,
high council and all that. So it

995
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:44,119
should be an open ocean. Gotta
be an awkward ride. Yeah. Also,

996
01:05:44,199 --> 01:05:45,840
does that mean there's a set of
command on the ocean and then a

997
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,760
new set of command on the land. Well, it's the implication, right,

998
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,679
there's right. I think it's implied
that, like, you know,

999
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:56,159
if you're not noble or you're gonna
be listening to them, but no one's

1000
01:05:56,199 --> 01:05:59,159
for sure who's going to be the
leader out of those noble men and things

1001
01:05:59,239 --> 01:06:02,480
like that, And so they throw
John Smith and everybody. Yeah, hey

1002
01:06:02,599 --> 01:06:08,119
be friendly basically right, Yeah,
so you know they're low on food,

1003
01:06:08,159 --> 01:06:12,079
they're all pistol. It's an episode
of Undercover Boss basically. Yeah, in

1004
01:06:12,199 --> 01:06:14,960
a weird way, you know,
I did, I do'tell I paid for

1005
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,679
an episode of that. No,
I did, like right after college they

1006
01:06:17,719 --> 01:06:20,840
shot who to this episode? No, they shouting in Saint Louis and uh

1007
01:06:21,199 --> 01:06:25,800
yeah, I paid or an episode
of Undercover Boss. What was the meal

1008
01:06:26,039 --> 01:06:29,320
or what not meal? What was
the businesses? I I don't even remember.

1009
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:32,400
It was in South County, right
off of forty four and one forty.

1010
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:34,719
That's that's the only reason that's on
the way I know it, um,

1011
01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:39,239
But I forget the company. It
was some it was like Fortune five

1012
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:42,079
hundred issh like it was pretty big
and it was based out of Saint Louis.

1013
01:06:42,199 --> 01:06:44,760
But I forgot. I'll have to
look it up. Um. But

1014
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:47,719
yeah, P eight do an episode
of that. So weird. It was

1015
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:53,079
very fucking weird and random. Anyway, So after like five months to see

1016
01:06:53,119 --> 01:06:58,000
they show up to what is now
James Town, Virginia and they opened up

1017
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:01,360
the box and Yo, who's the
leadership counsel? The man in chains?

1018
01:07:01,519 --> 01:07:05,639
The guy in chains, the guy
the one nobleman whips again. All right,

1019
01:07:05,639 --> 01:07:08,800
if this is gonna be a common
theme for this fucking episode, we

1020
01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:12,800
go back to Game of Thrones and
it's fucking Tyrian. Spoiler alert because that

1021
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:16,400
you shouldn't watch last season. Yeah
he's in chains, he's and he makes

1022
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:20,480
the call. Yeah he gets to
basically get himself on United Van lines.

1023
01:07:20,639 --> 01:07:25,519
I'm sorry, United Van lines,
Oh, thanks for the undercover boss story.

1024
01:07:26,159 --> 01:07:29,760
So they unchain John Smith. I
believe he's the only person not of

1025
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:33,199
like noble descent on the Leadership Council
because yeah, he made boys is noble

1026
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:38,119
though he's he is technically he is
titled. I don't think title noble.

1027
01:07:38,639 --> 01:07:42,880
I don't know, no money.
Yeah he's yeah, he's he's new money,

1028
01:07:43,519 --> 01:07:45,920
new money. Right, But I'm
a grandfather. Grandfather did this,

1029
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:50,159
and we have a console and all
this Brooke dude was cut off a couple

1030
01:07:50,159 --> 01:07:56,880
of Turkish heads anyone, so um
as it turns out a lot of people,

1031
01:07:57,639 --> 01:08:00,639
you know. So they get the
council started, and they have a

1032
01:08:00,719 --> 01:08:08,719
pretty hard time getting things going in
Jamestown one Jamestown as dude, So reading

1033
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:13,280
about and I already knew this about
Jamestown to an extent, but like rereading

1034
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:19,199
about it and stuff like that,
when you think, oh my no,

1035
01:08:19,359 --> 01:08:21,880
it sucked to settle it. I
don't think they sucked at it. I

1036
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:27,199
don't think anyone could do any better. Because here's the thing about the America's

1037
01:08:27,239 --> 01:08:30,039
specifically North America, but I think
the America is in general this time.

1038
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:35,159
When you think about a place like
Virginia, South or Missouri or anywhere like

1039
01:08:35,319 --> 01:08:41,640
that in kind of the middle uh
section, Like if you had to if

1040
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:45,359
you had to divide America in in
thirds by north to south, you know

1041
01:08:45,399 --> 01:08:49,840
what I mean, cut three lines
across America. You sort of have that

1042
01:08:50,119 --> 01:08:59,000
middle section, like Virginia and especially
like the middle Eastern section Atlantic Tennessee,

1043
01:09:00,119 --> 01:09:03,000
Misario. You think like, oh, it's you know, what could be

1044
01:09:03,079 --> 01:09:05,560
so hard about that? It's mild
weather, Like, yeah, there's winter,

1045
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:11,720
but winter doesn't get tear like horrifyingly
cold, and summer doesn't get like

1046
01:09:12,199 --> 01:09:17,840
horrifyingly hot. There's not like giant
bugs or it's not like the jungle or

1047
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:21,079
something like that where there's just all
kinds of fucked up shin disease. It's

1048
01:09:21,119 --> 01:09:27,399
pretty underdeveloped. Was a swamp,
That's the thing though. You think about

1049
01:09:27,439 --> 01:09:29,479
it and you're just like, yeah, that's kind of like normal weather.

1050
01:09:29,520 --> 01:09:34,880
What could be so hard? Everything? Everything could because before you know,

1051
01:09:35,239 --> 01:09:40,960
like Europeans before civilization or Western civilizations
showed up. You know, obviously there

1052
01:09:41,079 --> 01:09:48,399
was native civilizations who were super culturally
and socially developed, but uh, before

1053
01:09:48,439 --> 01:09:53,760
any but there wasn't an infrastructure there
much more than they're all separate tribes that

1054
01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:58,840
they're going on. And it's not
just like, oh, well, they

1055
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:03,039
could live there, But it was
the fucking Europeans who had the problem.

1056
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,960
Something like I want to say,
like not that long before the first people

1057
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:11,359
show to the Americas, like in
the fourteen fifties or something like that,

1058
01:10:13,079 --> 01:10:15,600
some kind of plague wiped out like
ninety percent of natives in North America.

1059
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:19,520
It might have been, but I'm
not sure, but it was pre it

1060
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:24,239
was pre European, pre European contact, Like they had a pandemic. There

1061
01:10:24,319 --> 01:10:30,119
was a pandemic before Europeans even got
there that basically like cold the hurt not

1062
01:10:30,239 --> 01:10:35,800
thin the herd, like cold damn
the Native American population. And by the

1063
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:41,960
time the Europeans got there, it
was still just like disease ridden and uninhabitab

1064
01:10:42,039 --> 01:10:44,520
fuck not just like you. You. My point is, you think about

1065
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:49,159
that, like naturally immediately when you
think about like the Portuguese landing in Brazil,

1066
01:10:49,199 --> 01:10:54,079
in the Amazon in Brazil, or
the Spanish landing in Central America or

1067
01:10:54,119 --> 01:10:57,520
the Caribbean or something like Florida,
yeah, or even Florida, you think

1068
01:10:57,560 --> 01:11:00,960
about that like you think about being
like, oh god, it's gotta be

1069
01:11:00,119 --> 01:11:03,520
mosquitoes the size of the fucking hawk, just sucking your blood out and shoving

1070
01:11:03,560 --> 01:11:06,560
malaria up your asshole. But then
Virginia, you're like, oh, yeah,

1071
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:11,279
there's some pine trees. Yeah,
I'm sure it's pretty it's it's pretty

1072
01:11:11,359 --> 01:11:15,399
much a wet mess there. Um. I believe the land wasn't necessarily fertile.

1073
01:11:15,119 --> 01:11:18,239
Um. They were having a hard
time growing crops. They didn't the

1074
01:11:18,319 --> 01:11:23,600
wheat stores were very low because the
trip took longer, so they were having

1075
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,720
a hard time getting food. And
yeah they can get in thing. And

1076
01:11:27,079 --> 01:11:30,720
so one of the things I wanted
to spell real quick for anyone listening before

1077
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:33,159
you get into that, like the
first year of Jamestown, like sixty of

1078
01:11:33,199 --> 01:11:38,479
the one hundred and five residents died. Yeah, it's really bad. So

1079
01:11:39,359 --> 01:11:42,399
I want to say for every stat
that I read, it was like more

1080
01:11:42,520 --> 01:11:45,600
died than didn't die. Yeah,
every time, because it was multiple statistics

1081
01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:47,880
that in the stuff you sent us
that was provided, it was like,

1082
01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:51,279
well, only two hundred of the
fucking six hundred survived, or yeah,

1083
01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:56,760
forty of the hundred. It was
always more die it was, and not

1084
01:11:56,880 --> 01:12:01,239
like like drastically more. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, it was like college

1085
01:12:01,359 --> 01:12:08,279
basketball three point percentage. Yeah,
and so I gotta preface a lot of

1086
01:12:08,319 --> 01:12:10,840
things here. So one of the
reasons they go to Virginia the first place

1087
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:15,319
is because there's this widespread belief that
North America has just an abundance of gold.

1088
01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:17,520
Oh yeah, I forgot about the
part. Yeah. So they are

1089
01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:20,000
like that was like, well,
that was the rumors at the time.

1090
01:12:20,039 --> 01:12:26,880
In general, there was like gold, like rare metals everywhere. You can

1091
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:30,600
just pick them, pick nuggets off
the ground, which from what I read,

1092
01:12:30,359 --> 01:12:38,000
was basically propaganda to get dummies to
go colonize and give money to colonize,

1093
01:12:38,199 --> 01:12:41,960
right, like it was lies that
lasted for a few hundred years because

1094
01:12:42,119 --> 01:12:46,600
you know the whole move West.
Yeah, well they kept they kept rebooting

1095
01:12:46,680 --> 01:12:49,640
that one. Yeahs aren't new reboots. People are like, oh man,

1096
01:12:49,680 --> 01:12:53,640
they make another Spider Man. No, they they've been rebooting. Everything's made

1097
01:12:53,640 --> 01:12:57,479
out of gold century. Yeah.
Well it's like, no, this school's

1098
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,199
in a mountain, deep in the
mountain. And here's the other thing it

1099
01:13:00,199 --> 01:13:03,079
would work today. Elon Musk is
like Mars nothing but gold. I found

1100
01:13:03,159 --> 01:13:06,600
it that gold. No, the
gold on Mars. Yeah, NASA is

1101
01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:11,720
not The fuckers would go trying to
build a fucking telescope in the moon right

1102
01:13:11,760 --> 01:13:15,680
now? How many motherfuckers would get
in a one way ship. I'd probably

1103
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:18,000
get gold. If there's gold,
I'd go, there's a point, did

1104
01:13:18,039 --> 01:13:24,720
you use it on? Would be
the king of Mars? Asshole? Yeah,

1105
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:27,199
Dan and I are gonna be Kings
of Mars with their hobo army.

1106
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:32,159
What are you gonna be doing working
on Earth? You know, Earth peasants.

1107
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:36,439
Is there any landing on the planet
right now that's kind of like still

1108
01:13:36,560 --> 01:13:42,479
technically inhabited, uninhabited or on our
planet? Yeah, Antarctica or that's not

1109
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:47,600
none of there's people, it's uninhabited, that's inhabitable, that's uninhabited. Yeah,

1110
01:13:48,479 --> 01:13:51,840
um no, not really because I
think nothing significant solved the boy,

1111
01:13:51,880 --> 01:13:56,880
Dan. I think there's a few
thousand people in Nantarctica. That's that's they're

1112
01:13:56,920 --> 01:14:00,560
not permanent residence. They do they
do They're like you know there rotations.

1113
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:02,840
Yeah, you can't live there forever. You ever see the thing? They

1114
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:06,520
go nuts. They have chefs and
stuff. Well if they don't get you

1115
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:10,760
know, copied by a body snatcher
or whatever. Yeah, but um,

1116
01:14:11,119 --> 01:14:14,720
anyway, so the gold thing is
a big thing. The population of Antarctica

1117
01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:17,319
is about four thousand in summer and
about one thousand in winter. Dude,

1118
01:14:17,359 --> 01:14:20,920
I bet you could tell people there's
golden Antarctica and we'd move there. Fucking

1119
01:14:21,079 --> 01:14:26,319
that's that's yes. The example that
should not Mars. That's fine. People

1120
01:14:26,359 --> 01:14:31,000
would go there without question if they
heard there was gold Yeah, I'd go.

1121
01:14:31,880 --> 01:14:36,840
I've always wanted to go to Antarctica. Live there, No go get

1122
01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:41,079
killed by some disease. How many
shoots up out of the peat moss after

1123
01:14:41,239 --> 01:14:45,520
more ice melts, like you're just
walking someday and you like step too hard

1124
01:14:45,079 --> 01:14:51,399
and some like eighty thousand year old
disease. If it is the most amount

1125
01:14:51,399 --> 01:14:55,079
of time you would spend an Antarctica, if you got paid the right amount

1126
01:14:55,119 --> 01:14:58,760
of money, six months, yeah, giving them out what's the amount?

1127
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:00,560
Hundred grand? So yeah, I
do. I do a year in an

1128
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:04,359
Arctic for hunter grand. Yeah,
okay, that's easy. My living expenses

1129
01:15:04,359 --> 01:15:09,920
would be zero k yeah, fifty
k yeah, that's that. I would

1130
01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:13,479
not do six months fifty k yeah, I do, like I do a

1131
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:17,439
quarter okay yeah yeah. Um.
Anyway, let's let's get back on track

1132
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:21,000
here. No, we're gonna be
adventures now, Okay, so all right,

1133
01:15:21,039 --> 01:15:24,039
fuck it. The Antarctica Company,
you guys want to start it?

1134
01:15:24,119 --> 01:15:27,159
Yeah, why not just tell people
there's the key is to tell people there's

1135
01:15:27,199 --> 01:15:30,640
gold there, and then we'll leave
strauss It where we just sell all these

1136
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:32,359
idiots coming for gold, the shit
they need to mind for gold, and

1137
01:15:32,399 --> 01:15:38,600
then we design golf courses. Wait
what why not? Well, because it's

1138
01:15:38,640 --> 01:15:42,520
the Antarctica. Yeah, hey man, Golden Tea has all kinds of snow

1139
01:15:42,680 --> 01:15:45,359
snow courses apparent true, they have
the Himalance. You can golf on Everest

1140
01:15:45,399 --> 01:15:49,319
and Golden Tea. Um. So
the gold thing is a thing. The

1141
01:15:49,399 --> 01:15:51,720
other thing is there's a lot of
God in country. Talk. To get

1142
01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:54,800
people to go over there, we
got to beat the Catholics. So there's

1143
01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:59,279
gold God in country and you know, beating the Catholics. Uh. I

1144
01:15:59,319 --> 01:16:00,520
don't know why didn't use that.
To be honest, I'm not trying to

1145
01:16:00,520 --> 01:16:05,000
get politically here, but it disappointed
me that he never beat the anti Catholic

1146
01:16:05,079 --> 01:16:08,920
drum um, just because why not
throw shit against the wall, Because it

1147
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:12,800
worked to get people to the America's
right, It worked against one out of

1148
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:15,119
the three Catholics who ran for president. It worked for the University of Miami.

1149
01:16:15,880 --> 01:16:20,920
It did. Yeah, convicts convicts
one. Convicts did win that one

1150
01:16:21,199 --> 01:16:28,000
unsurprisingly. So another day, if
you have like an uncle that really hates

1151
01:16:28,039 --> 01:16:33,640
socialism, you've probably heard this story
where Jamestown failed because of socialism. I

1152
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:39,680
have not heard this. There's not
a chance that your uncle at Thanksgiving remotely

1153
01:16:39,760 --> 01:16:41,920
knows anything about. Oh, this
is something that I heard at my dinner

1154
01:16:41,960 --> 01:16:45,159
table quite a bit. I love
this. So basically, when Jamestown first

1155
01:16:45,199 --> 01:16:50,199
started, everyone got fed from a
common house on the site of the settlement.

1156
01:16:51,159 --> 01:16:55,640
Regardless of the amount of work he
did, everyone got fed. And

1157
01:16:55,760 --> 01:16:58,800
this led to a lot of people
not working. Does this lead to the

1158
01:16:58,960 --> 01:17:02,000
famous quote from leads to the famous
quote if you don't work, you don't

1159
01:17:02,039 --> 01:17:05,319
eat. Yeah, And this is
kind of the he's a big believer in

1160
01:17:05,439 --> 01:17:11,039
that, absolutely, But this leads
to the famous notion. I don't believe

1161
01:17:11,079 --> 01:17:14,039
he was because how much work do
you have to do as a pirate.

1162
01:17:14,399 --> 01:17:16,079
You gotta sink the ship, bro, you gotta do all the work.

1163
01:17:16,520 --> 01:17:21,720
I don't think piracy is much work. Piracy is stealing stealing, which is

1164
01:17:21,760 --> 01:17:27,720
a lot of work, not as
much work as working. You have the

1165
01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:32,039
murder anyway, murder that hard hard
murder seems really hard. You just have

1166
01:17:32,159 --> 01:17:38,239
to sink the ship. What's harder
to do earn money over a course of

1167
01:17:38,319 --> 01:17:41,119
time or shoot someone in the face
and take that money they earned over a

1168
01:17:41,199 --> 01:17:43,199
course of time. It's like the
key and Peel skit where it's like,

1169
01:17:43,199 --> 01:17:44,840
all right, this is how we're
gonna rob well, they're trying. We're

1170
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:49,119
gonna go in with some resumes,
get jobs there or you know, it's

1171
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:54,600
like robbing the bank by just working
there and getting promoted and leaving pally hard

1172
01:17:54,600 --> 01:17:58,399
to be a troop. Don't do
this? What stop? You're just being

1173
01:17:58,640 --> 01:18:03,079
you're doing dan stuff. It's easier
to kill someone and steal their shit than

1174
01:18:03,159 --> 01:18:08,880
it is to generally than it is
to accrue that ship in the first place.

1175
01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:12,520
It's harder to be an accountant than
a troop, is what you're saying.

1176
01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:16,760
Yeah, probably, Yeah, So
anyway, the reason that happened where

1177
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:20,520
there were people that weren't working that
we're eating was it was all the fucking

1178
01:18:20,600 --> 01:18:26,079
nobleman. They thought they shouldn't have
been working because they were noble people.

1179
01:18:26,159 --> 01:18:29,159
They don't work, they're there to
do all day. Though at that point,

1180
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:32,600
I don't know what they did,
like like I just read sit around

1181
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:38,079
and discuss like mentally masturbated about how
things should be run once everything gets going

1182
01:18:38,279 --> 01:18:42,039
right, Like yeahs. So that's
why I never like the whole Well,

1183
01:18:42,119 --> 01:18:45,000
socialism doesn't work because of this.
It's like, well, that's all the

1184
01:18:45,079 --> 01:18:46,800
rich people sitting around playing with their
dicks while other people worked, but they

1185
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:49,119
were still getting fed. Yeah,
you know what I mean. So it's

1186
01:18:49,159 --> 01:18:54,279
not really good argument against socialism.
It's a really poor example. I've never

1187
01:18:54,359 --> 01:18:57,319
heard that. No, it's funny. It gets if you look up like

1188
01:18:57,720 --> 01:19:00,880
Jamestown failed socialism, like it's oh, lovely goop talking. That's not even

1189
01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:05,880
anything. No, it's but they
love, like love people who actually work.

1190
01:19:08,680 --> 01:19:12,199
Yeah, but they also hate socialism. But John Smith was like,

1191
01:19:12,319 --> 01:19:15,000
hey, you gotta pull your weight. Essentially, it's just well because a

1192
01:19:15,039 --> 01:19:17,319
bunch of rich shoots didn't want to
work, so he's like, hey,

1193
01:19:17,520 --> 01:19:20,479
everyone's working here or else. You're
not eating from the common house anymore.

1194
01:19:20,560 --> 01:19:24,319
By the way, I do love. So there was from what I read

1195
01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:30,000
a flip side of the coin to
this where eventually there were people who were

1196
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:31,880
like man, fuck this, and
they tried to go move to the Native

1197
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:36,359
American villages. Oh yeah, who
I don't think were noblemen, who were

1198
01:19:36,399 --> 01:19:40,479
just people who were like, this
is too much work. And they tried

1199
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:44,039
to like just assimilate with the Native
Americans, but they had the same sinful

1200
01:19:44,119 --> 01:19:46,039
rule yeah, yeah, which was
I you don't work, you don't go,

1201
01:19:46,680 --> 01:19:48,840
don't pull your way and John Smith
was like yeah, and they came

1202
01:19:48,880 --> 01:19:54,880
back emaciated. Yeah, like they
came back being like, Okay, we'll

1203
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:58,760
work here. So um, I
just like I think I thought about that.

1204
01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:00,399
It was just like the funny thing. It's like, dude, this

1205
01:20:00,520 --> 01:20:04,199
is what you don't even understand,
like life is perfect and Sweden. Yeah,

1206
01:20:04,319 --> 01:20:06,199
like it stills like the rumor,
Like it was just like, dude,

1207
01:20:06,319 --> 01:20:11,439
the Native American villagers out there,
dude, they have it. I'm

1208
01:20:11,479 --> 01:20:14,319
telling you, they're doing it right. You know, you could do you

1209
01:20:14,479 --> 01:20:17,439
want there, and like everyone gets
a piece and it's it's fucking it's fucking

1210
01:20:17,520 --> 01:20:26,359
great, but wrong what masculinity not
being a pussy. Well that's what they

1211
01:20:26,439 --> 01:20:28,600
thought. And then they went and
they tried to do it and it was

1212
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:30,439
like the same thing. It's like, oh, we have to do something.

1213
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:31,960
Yeah, in the name, you're
not just gonna get free food.

1214
01:20:32,159 --> 01:20:35,920
Right, Yeah, there was no
free lunch. Yeah, oldest lesson in

1215
01:20:36,039 --> 01:20:40,479
history. There's no free lunch.
Ye there such thing, guys. Yeah,

1216
01:20:40,560 --> 01:20:42,560
so they tried to go and then
they came back and they're like,

1217
01:20:42,800 --> 01:20:45,399
I'm sorry. So yeah, so
John Smith basically it was like yo,

1218
01:20:45,640 --> 01:20:49,800
fuck this leadership shit. He kind
of got things going a little bit.

1219
01:20:50,239 --> 01:20:55,880
Unfortunately they weren't able to generate a
ton of food still, so wait,

1220
01:20:55,920 --> 01:20:58,159
no, I'm skipping around a little
bit. Whatever. It's all kind of

1221
01:20:58,199 --> 01:21:04,000
the same anyway. John Smith eventually
starts to there's this local Native American girl.

1222
01:21:04,880 --> 01:21:09,079
They need to start. I'm really
Pocohonas. Yeah, I know,

1223
01:21:09,239 --> 01:21:11,439
right, Like I'm like, oh
yeah, I gotta remember all the Pocohonas

1224
01:21:11,479 --> 01:21:13,479
stuff. Now. I should have
written more of this out. That's why

1225
01:21:13,479 --> 01:21:14,760
I was like, man, I
don't know if we're going to get to

1226
01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:16,079
this or not. The Pocohona is
kind of boring, to be honest,

1227
01:21:16,079 --> 01:21:20,119
it is Okay, it's bizarre to
me. It's it is bizarre. Let's

1228
01:21:20,159 --> 01:21:26,359
talk about this. It's bizarre to
me that Pocohonnas somehow we came the center

1229
01:21:26,359 --> 01:21:31,000
of John smith story. Do we
add this to our list of future films.

1230
01:21:31,760 --> 01:21:35,920
We got teen Jesus, Young John
Smith, and then there's another one.

1231
01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:39,159
But yeah, then young John score. What was the other one?

1232
01:21:39,199 --> 01:21:43,439
Actual John Smith? Yeah, actual
John Smith. Mel Gibson's in that for

1233
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:45,880
sure, well back in the day. Oh yeah, anymore, say now

1234
01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:50,199
it's more like a Tom Hardy vehicle. Yeah, maybe it's Tom Hardy yeah,

1235
01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:55,359
or Sillian Murphy. No, not
Sillion. It needs to be beef

1236
01:21:55,399 --> 01:21:59,439
here, beef here ceiling can put
some muscle on. Yeah. Tom Hardy's

1237
01:21:59,560 --> 01:22:01,760
natal he functuates too much. Now
he's he's a small man too, and

1238
01:22:02,119 --> 01:22:05,439
he's he's he's more beefy than not. Ye bane, No, you're right.

1239
01:22:05,560 --> 01:22:11,920
You know who it should be,
Shaaloma Shallome. I hated his fucking

1240
01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:15,159
medieval movie. I loved it.
It was so disappointing. I liked it

1241
01:22:15,199 --> 01:22:18,319
a lot. Anyway, just call
it. Just keep kumber Batch away,

1242
01:22:18,399 --> 01:22:24,680
please, look, it should not
now it just needs to be I'm just

1243
01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:28,079
just need a time machine mel Gibson
into it. Really, Yeah, that's

1244
01:22:28,119 --> 01:22:30,239
all the problem with it. The
problem with this. He couldn't play it

1245
01:22:30,319 --> 01:22:32,399
because well he's mel Gibson only murders
the British. She doesn't play that.

1246
01:22:32,680 --> 01:22:36,039
I also can't believe him as Young
John Smith because he's Santa Claus. Now

1247
01:22:38,479 --> 01:22:40,600
well, yeah, now you can't
do it. I'm trying to think of

1248
01:22:40,640 --> 01:22:43,399
it. This one o them Tom
Hardy anyway, where we had Team Jesus,

1249
01:22:43,479 --> 01:22:45,439
Young John Smith. What was the
other one? There's another movie?

1250
01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:48,600
Yeah, and somebody will remind us, Yeah, please remind us, please,

1251
01:22:49,479 --> 01:22:54,199
how did you forget the fucking Oh? Probably William Walker is a movie.

1252
01:22:54,479 --> 01:22:57,840
Yeah, yeah, I think we
William Walker one. That'd be a

1253
01:22:57,880 --> 01:23:02,039
good shaalomic role him as a dead
eye vampire. That's part that he's born

1254
01:23:02,119 --> 01:23:04,800
to play that. Yeah, man, we're gonna write he just like walks

1255
01:23:04,840 --> 01:23:08,079
into Mexico, like can you use
men and child? I mean like,

1256
01:23:08,800 --> 01:23:14,720
I'm gonna take here in Mexico anyway, Nick rog was mine. Now yeah,

1257
01:23:15,359 --> 01:23:17,680
I'm the president. This is my
Mexico. Now let me flip my

1258
01:23:17,760 --> 01:23:23,039
hair. Oh my god, Well, hey, ladybird, any fuck have

1259
01:23:23,359 --> 01:23:28,359
Tom Holland he's grown into his own
he's too nice. He's too nice too

1260
01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:31,159
now and he can't grow beard.
Well, there was a movie that's Daniel

1261
01:23:31,239 --> 01:23:35,039
Radfli that was pretty If he wasn't
a terrible actor, I'd be down with

1262
01:23:35,119 --> 01:23:39,920
it, Tom holland Douvil all the
time. I believe, Oh I need

1263
01:23:39,960 --> 01:23:42,359
to watch that. He's pretty good
in that. Okay, let me just

1264
01:23:42,640 --> 01:23:45,119
kind of cut to the chase with
this Pokehonas ship. So John Smith realizes

1265
01:23:45,119 --> 01:23:48,359
they're gonna need to learn how to
do some more agricultural stuff from the Native

1266
01:23:48,359 --> 01:23:54,560
Americans. They he falls in love
with the little ten year old girl that

1267
01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:57,119
is Pocohona's, the chief's daughter,
I believe, or something like ten.

1268
01:23:57,159 --> 01:24:00,880
At this point. Some people argue
between ten and thirteen. Yeah, so

1269
01:24:00,720 --> 01:24:04,000
people that don't like the story of
Pocohona's argue ten. People that are like,

1270
01:24:04,079 --> 01:24:06,159
oh, well it was a different
time. This issues more thirteen.

1271
01:24:06,239 --> 01:24:09,640
It was a different time. Yeah, I know you can say like,

1272
01:24:09,880 --> 01:24:12,159
oh, it was a different you
can't really, like, I guess you

1273
01:24:12,199 --> 01:24:14,039
could. You know, you can
apply that to anything to an extent,

1274
01:24:14,079 --> 01:24:15,920
like, oh, the nineteen seventies
were different time, but no, this

1275
01:24:15,960 --> 01:24:17,279
is a different time. Yeah,
this is a different It is different.

1276
01:24:17,319 --> 01:24:21,800
You can barely like I think you're
you're pushing point is thirteen though, where

1277
01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:27,439
anything younger than that more just like
an almost anything at this point in the

1278
01:24:27,560 --> 01:24:30,840
time of history is just different.
Yeah, you know what I mean,

1279
01:24:30,840 --> 01:24:38,560
it's a different Earth. Yeah,
totally. Essentially they are essentially on the

1280
01:24:38,680 --> 01:24:41,680
moon over there too, Yeah for
all intensive Yeah yeah, I just look

1281
01:24:41,720 --> 01:24:43,680
at all that stuff. But I'm
just like, yeah, man, like

1282
01:24:43,840 --> 01:24:45,960
to me, it's messed up,
but I can't argue. I'm not gonna

1283
01:24:45,039 --> 01:24:48,159
argue guys anyone that's not like I
guess that was like the fuck up.

1284
01:24:48,199 --> 01:24:53,479
I'm not gonna be like well actually, but like in personally, I just

1285
01:24:53,560 --> 01:24:58,159
look at it him just like this
is like you're different. You're perfectly cool

1286
01:24:58,239 --> 01:25:00,119
with the Three Heads and like all
the shit you was doing before the piracy.

1287
01:25:00,239 --> 01:25:04,760
It's more, I'm especially cool with
the Three Heads. They asked for

1288
01:25:04,920 --> 01:25:09,159
it, they really did. If
there was ever anyone to victim blame,

1289
01:25:09,279 --> 01:25:12,760
it is the three Turks that John
Smith, the one that said I'm bored

1290
01:25:13,399 --> 01:25:18,479
for head, the three Turks,
three Turks, three Turks and a horse.

1291
01:25:18,880 --> 01:25:25,239
Like this is like, this isn't
like like Earth in sixteen oh whatever.

1292
01:25:26,079 --> 01:25:30,880
It's you have to almost judge it
as a different planet. Yeah,

1293
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:34,680
like you literally like your spaceship landed
on a different planet. Yeah, this

1294
01:25:34,840 --> 01:25:38,760
is like sixteen oh seven. Yeah, and you're like, oh fuck,

1295
01:25:39,239 --> 01:25:42,319
let me get to this any Yeah, No, it's okay. Um.

1296
01:25:42,479 --> 01:25:45,800
So, yeah, they start to
trade a little bit more. Um.

1297
01:25:46,319 --> 01:25:48,920
I think at some point, you
know, things are running okay. They're

1298
01:25:48,920 --> 01:25:53,800
still pretty beat up, though.
John Smith blows a piece of his leg

1299
01:25:53,880 --> 01:25:57,279
off. Wait, it never sounds
good at this point. He's what twenty

1300
01:25:58,479 --> 01:26:02,600
he twenty twenty seven? He he's
anyway, he's like charting water somewhere.

1301
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:06,359
He has gunpowder and the ship it
catches light blows a chunk of his thigh

1302
01:26:06,840 --> 01:26:12,720
from someone smoking right almost probably yeah, what else would do it? So

1303
01:26:12,920 --> 01:26:15,640
he's doing a good job enough,
I guess to not warrant. He's not

1304
01:26:15,680 --> 01:26:17,359
really even doing a good job.
No, one's doing a great job,

1305
01:26:17,359 --> 01:26:20,520
but he's doing a better job than
most. He was easily the best governor

1306
01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:25,119
they had while he was there,
and he's the only one that kept everyone

1307
01:26:25,319 --> 01:26:28,359
well. Yeah. So he blows
off a chunk of his thighs, he's

1308
01:26:29,119 --> 01:26:33,640
incapacitated and he's hobbled for the rest
of his life. Basically at this point,

1309
01:26:33,760 --> 01:26:36,880
he goes back to England, I'm
pretty sure off. Yeah, and

1310
01:26:38,039 --> 01:26:41,039
so then someone takes over. I
want to say his last name was Percy.

1311
01:26:41,479 --> 01:26:45,439
Yeah, whatever, Yeah, anyway, someone takes over James Stone goes

1312
01:26:45,439 --> 01:26:48,359
to shit after John Smith leaves like
for a minute. Well yeah, so

1313
01:26:48,960 --> 01:26:51,479
it's a funny story. Actually,
I'm just gonna go through this real quick

1314
01:26:51,479 --> 01:26:55,760
because I think it's hilarious. Yeah, he brings Pocahonas back to England with

1315
01:26:55,880 --> 01:27:00,039
him, now John Rolf does.
Yeah, it's do you want me to

1316
01:27:00,079 --> 01:27:03,960
get into this? Like I just
the Pokeahona stuff's kind of boring. Like

1317
01:27:04,239 --> 01:27:08,720
they parade around this little Native American
girl around England. Well I just know

1318
01:27:08,920 --> 01:27:12,119
he was like talking like the bell
of the ball. Yeah, John Smith

1319
01:27:12,159 --> 01:27:15,239
talked her up. Yeah yeah,
but it wasn't He didn't bring her back

1320
01:27:15,319 --> 01:27:18,159
John Rolf did. But she also
saved his life a few times. Yes,

1321
01:27:18,279 --> 01:27:20,760
well yeah because kind of well that's
even debatable, but yeah, yeah,

1322
01:27:20,840 --> 01:27:25,560
there's so much debated shit about the
interaction between John Smith, pocahon Is

1323
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:29,039
the chiefs and all that. It's
really not even like there's no good,

1324
01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:31,520
Like the story is the story.
You know, they let him free and

1325
01:27:31,640 --> 01:27:35,600
they work together. Well also,
he also recounts the story ten years later,

1326
01:27:36,039 --> 01:27:40,239
and I saw there's like historians in
like the eighteen hundreds were still trying

1327
01:27:40,279 --> 01:27:43,680
to like poke holes in John's story
because yeah, from what I read as

1328
01:27:43,920 --> 01:27:46,159
essentially, they were like, he
was not known to be an exaggerator.

1329
01:27:46,640 --> 01:27:50,800
Yeah, because his his because when
he wrote about so a lot of people

1330
01:27:51,079 --> 01:27:56,479
who were invested in the colonies and
um, a lot of people who had

1331
01:27:56,560 --> 01:28:00,119
been there and come back were asked
to or did all their own volition right

1332
01:28:00,199 --> 01:28:04,039
about the colonies to get more people
to go, right, to get more

1333
01:28:04,319 --> 01:28:08,560
people to go, because that every
person that goes is more money for them,

1334
01:28:08,840 --> 01:28:12,479
right. Essentially, So a lot
of people were like what we were

1335
01:28:12,479 --> 01:28:15,600
saying earlier. They were like gold, everything's might have gold. Go yeah,

1336
01:28:15,680 --> 01:28:17,039
yo, just fine gold. You're
a ship gold if you go over

1337
01:28:17,119 --> 01:28:21,359
there. Yeah, and like you
eat a turkey shit out gold and um

1338
01:28:24,199 --> 01:28:29,640
I wish yeah, yeah, lots
giving the dopest holiday and John Smith was

1339
01:28:30,159 --> 01:28:32,239
John Smith's writings were more like,
Yeah, if you don't like hard work,

1340
01:28:32,319 --> 01:28:35,600
you're gonna fucking die. You're gonna
hate it over there. But if

1341
01:28:35,680 --> 01:28:40,319
you do like hard work and you
are a hard worker, you can make

1342
01:28:40,399 --> 01:28:42,800
some serious money. And he was
also like, no, there's not gold

1343
01:28:42,840 --> 01:28:45,359
everywhere, but there's a ton of
industry. Like if you like chopping down

1344
01:28:45,439 --> 01:28:53,239
trees, man, there's fucking trees
everywhere. Yeah. So he was like

1345
01:28:53,399 --> 01:28:56,239
he was very in in those writings, who was very realistic, and I

1346
01:28:56,279 --> 01:28:59,880
think historians were kind of like,
man, he was so fucking grounded on

1347
01:29:00,079 --> 01:29:01,319
the ship when he didn't have to
be, and no one else was.

1348
01:29:01,479 --> 01:29:05,279
It was more just like he wrote
about the whole Pocahana sing like a decade

1349
01:29:05,359 --> 01:29:11,800
later. Yeah, so it's just
mis misremember and stuff. So John Smith

1350
01:29:12,239 --> 01:29:16,920
goes away and Jamestown is now led
by incompetent people that don't know how to

1351
01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:20,800
communicate with the Native American tribes.
Don't pull their weight, don't pull their

1352
01:29:20,840 --> 01:29:26,039
weight, so they resort to begging. They resort to begging these Native American

1353
01:29:26,119 --> 01:29:30,880
people like, hey, give us
foods don't have a Thanksgiving? Yeah,

1354
01:29:31,520 --> 01:29:38,239
sos, we can give you some
food. We'll give you food this one

1355
01:29:38,319 --> 01:29:41,079
time if you need it, like
John Smith was cool, we'll hook you

1356
01:29:41,239 --> 01:29:45,359
up. Then they eat all food. They're like, we need more food,

1357
01:29:45,840 --> 01:29:48,279
and they're like, yo, we
just gave you food, right like,

1358
01:29:48,520 --> 01:29:51,560
and so they start trying to like
classic Americans, they just start trying

1359
01:29:51,560 --> 01:29:56,279
to like raid these people now and
steal their food. And basically the Native

1360
01:29:56,279 --> 01:30:00,680
Americans are like, if you guys
leave that fucking fort, gonna kill you.

1361
01:30:00,239 --> 01:30:02,680
Like you can't come out here taking
our food no more. Yea.

1362
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:08,359
And so this is a funny story
the Native Americans when whenever anyone will leave

1363
01:30:08,359 --> 01:30:11,720
at a certain point, they'd kill
them and they'd stuff their mouths with bread

1364
01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,640
and leave them on spikes in front
of the fort. Well perfect, Yeah,

1365
01:30:14,680 --> 01:30:16,720
it's like, oh, you'll get
food, but you're gonna be dead.

1366
01:30:16,720 --> 01:30:19,760
And here's how you did. There's
no there's no living beggars outside of

1367
01:30:19,840 --> 01:30:25,960
your fort. The first American quarantine
basically one of the funny things too that

1368
01:30:26,039 --> 01:30:29,359
I read was I guess John Smith
gave word that shit wasn't gonna be good

1369
01:30:30,439 --> 01:30:32,600
to the Virginia Company when he was
gone. Yeah, so they sent another

1370
01:30:32,760 --> 01:30:36,920
round of people. Oh they kept
saying people actually regardless of what he said.

1371
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:41,039
Oh okay, just that's this whole
thing is like the Virginia. Smith

1372
01:30:41,079 --> 01:30:44,239
and other people were like, foot
is fucked up here. Yeah, Like

1373
01:30:44,399 --> 01:30:47,159
dude, everyone's like people are literally
shitting themselves to death every day, like

1374
01:30:47,239 --> 01:30:50,079
a people are dying every day,
so they need the Virginia. He was

1375
01:30:50,119 --> 01:30:54,800
like, well, we're just gonna
have to throw bodies at the problem.

1376
01:30:54,960 --> 01:30:57,359
So like you throw, we'll just
throw money at the problem in where I

1377
01:30:57,359 --> 01:31:00,640
guess is like, we're just gonna
throw human beings. Eventually this investment will

1378
01:31:00,680 --> 01:31:02,199
take yeah, and we'll make money
off it. So they send three more

1379
01:31:02,279 --> 01:31:06,279
ships to Jamestown, and this time
they're like, all right, everyone's gonna

1380
01:31:06,319 --> 01:31:10,520
know who's in charge. We're putting
all the leaders on one ship and we're

1381
01:31:10,520 --> 01:31:14,920
gonna keep all the workers on two
other ships. Guess what happens guys to

1382
01:31:15,000 --> 01:31:17,600
the one ship it crashes, The
one ship of all the leaders crashes.

1383
01:31:17,680 --> 01:31:21,279
The other two ships make it.
So the one ship of level leaders crashes,

1384
01:31:21,319 --> 01:31:25,640
I want to say in a Spanish, oh, crashes in Bermuda.

1385
01:31:26,079 --> 01:31:28,239
So I end up in Bermuda.
They don't have a way to get off

1386
01:31:28,279 --> 01:31:32,079
the island. They actually live very
well because they the Spanish ship built up

1387
01:31:32,079 --> 01:31:35,279
the island to be like run overrun
with pigs, so it's like a stopping

1388
01:31:35,319 --> 01:31:38,720
place and they just slaughter some pigs
and eat while they're stopped. Nice.

1389
01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:42,600
So they have this pig island and
they're just like chilling and like nice temperate

1390
01:31:42,640 --> 01:31:45,439
weather, eating pigs all day.
They're like, we shouldn't leave. Fuck

1391
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:47,800
no, fuck those workers. Meanwhile, those workers show up to Jamestown,

1392
01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:51,920
it's already fucked. Three hundred new
mouths to feed, show up to a

1393
01:31:53,039 --> 01:31:57,800
mud pit with like rotten corn.
Three dude, three hundred new heads show

1394
01:31:57,920 --> 01:32:00,960
up that aren't skilled at lead and
they don't know what to do. Is

1395
01:32:01,079 --> 01:32:05,079
the most fail upward shit I've ever
heard in my wife. It's just like

1396
01:32:05,199 --> 01:32:13,239
the rich guy's ship gets wrecked and
they go to Bacon Island. Yeah,

1397
01:32:14,319 --> 01:32:16,800
they stayed there long enough to like
they're building ships, and the whole time

1398
01:32:16,840 --> 01:32:21,359
they're like, should we like this? Meanwhile, the blue collar workers just

1399
01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:27,760
show up to a fucking swamp graveyard. Yeah. I think I'm mixing up

1400
01:32:27,800 --> 01:32:30,560
timelines. I think after whatever,
it doesn't matter. We're not mean on

1401
01:32:30,640 --> 01:32:32,920
John Smith anymore. So Smith goes
back to England, then comes back and

1402
01:32:33,640 --> 01:32:36,800
explores New England. Yeah, yeah, he goes to New England. He

1403
01:32:36,920 --> 01:32:40,439
named New England. Yeah. I
still want to talk about Jamestown for a

1404
01:32:40,439 --> 01:32:45,359
minute though, because it gets worse. So finally the leaders were like,

1405
01:32:45,359 --> 01:32:46,800
all right, we build the ships, we should go figure out this whole

1406
01:32:46,840 --> 01:32:50,760
thing over there in Jamestown. Let's
go lead them toward the light. They

1407
01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:55,000
show up, and the way it
was written is like the gates of the

1408
01:32:55,119 --> 01:32:58,760
fort were off the hinges when they
show it up, meaning that the place

1409
01:32:58,840 --> 01:33:00,840
was in such disarray they hadn't even
bothered keeping the doors up. They were

1410
01:33:00,880 --> 01:33:05,159
like fucking while natives they're murdering them. Yeah, leaving right, Yeah exactly,

1411
01:33:05,319 --> 01:33:08,840
and like the natives already pissed off
on them too, because they're trying

1412
01:33:08,840 --> 01:33:13,439
to Maradi. Imagine like your car, your car like gets consistently broken into

1413
01:33:13,760 --> 01:33:15,600
and your front doors off its hinges, and you're just like, god,

1414
01:33:15,840 --> 01:33:20,159
I'm just not I can't even I'm
not gonna replace that's get knocked down,

1415
01:33:21,800 --> 01:33:26,399
smashed in. Yeah. So they
show up and they're like, nope,

1416
01:33:26,640 --> 01:33:30,479
everyone on the ship. We're going
home. Fuck Jamestown. So they get

1417
01:33:30,520 --> 01:33:33,840
them on the ship and they're sailing
back. Virginia Company has already sent other

1418
01:33:33,920 --> 01:33:38,399
people. Yeah, they catch them, and they catch them. The ship's

1419
01:33:38,439 --> 01:33:41,640
cross and they intercept the ship coming
back. All these people like, thank

1420
01:33:41,680 --> 01:33:44,439
god, we're get the fuck out
of Jamestown. They stopped them, like

1421
01:33:44,479 --> 01:33:47,520
all these healthy people, turn your
ass around. You're going back to Jamestown.

1422
01:33:47,720 --> 01:33:50,520
This colony's gonna work. Yeah,
And eventually it does, yeah,

1423
01:33:50,600 --> 01:33:55,520
eventually to start the flourish eventually.
Yeah. So I mean that's basically you

1424
01:33:55,560 --> 01:33:58,039
know, it's a disrate. Yeah, but John Smith eventually goes on to

1425
01:33:58,199 --> 01:34:00,279
explore New England names New England,
writes all his stuff. Yeah, it

1426
01:34:00,279 --> 01:34:02,359
writes all his memoirs, and that's
why we get to learn about all the

1427
01:34:02,399 --> 01:34:06,079
cool shit he did before he died
in England. Was it thirty one something

1428
01:34:06,079 --> 01:34:11,279
like yeah, old yea, yeah, but he Uh, it's a miracle

1429
01:34:11,359 --> 01:34:15,680
he made buried until six And when
they say he was buried in that church,

1430
01:34:15,720 --> 01:34:17,159
I think it meant he was reburied, okay, because it's like two

1431
01:34:17,279 --> 01:34:20,279
years before. Yeah, actually it
wasn't. Like no one check John Smith's

1432
01:34:20,279 --> 01:34:26,000
house for two years. John Yeah, he's asleep. Yeah, he's probably

1433
01:34:26,039 --> 01:34:30,960
banging that little American girl found a
thirteen year old native. Uh. But

1434
01:34:30,199 --> 01:34:34,159
I mean it's really the breadth of
what we wanted to talk about was all

1435
01:34:34,159 --> 01:34:36,640
the stuff he didn't know about John
Smith, and I think we covered that

1436
01:34:36,720 --> 01:34:41,279
in Great Yeah, which is everything. So um gosh, let me look

1437
01:34:41,319 --> 01:34:45,560
this up real quick. Sure thing, because there's a guy who listens to

1438
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:49,000
our podcast who sent me a thing
being like you guys need to fucking dude,

1439
01:34:49,039 --> 01:34:56,600
John Smith, and UM, let
me look it up. Damn.

1440
01:34:56,600 --> 01:35:01,000
It doesn't let me search pete.
Um, it only lets me search people.

1441
01:35:01,079 --> 01:35:05,159
Not not like discussions, sure,
or like what was in a discussion.

1442
01:35:05,960 --> 01:35:09,640
But anyway, one of our listeners, I'll try to find one side

1443
01:35:09,640 --> 01:35:12,039
table this. Yeah, well I'll
tell you why. I will. I

1444
01:35:12,119 --> 01:35:15,760
will shout you out on Twitter.
Um. I gotta look through my dmsum

1445
01:35:15,279 --> 01:35:18,279
to see who suggested this. But
do you remember the gist of it?

1446
01:35:18,800 --> 01:35:21,119
He was just like you gotta do
fucking John Smith. Oh, if you

1447
01:35:21,159 --> 01:35:25,640
guys are doing like crazy lives,
Yeah, no, definitely, I had

1448
01:35:25,680 --> 01:35:28,479
no idea who did all this shit? Yeah? It's wild? Yeah,

1449
01:35:28,960 --> 01:35:31,159
um, I guess here, let's
let's throw a question out there for the

1450
01:35:31,800 --> 01:35:36,000
for those at home and for us
here, Who's life would you rather live?

1451
01:35:36,479 --> 01:35:44,560
John Smith? William Walker or Boston
Corbett? Uh? John Smith?

1452
01:35:44,640 --> 01:35:48,479
I think what we who? Boston
Corbett was from the Civil War? Right?

1453
01:35:49,600 --> 01:35:54,920
Which one was? He? He
avenged Lincoln? Oh? Yeah,

1454
01:35:55,079 --> 01:35:59,600
that's definitely not John Corbett or Boston
Corbett or Boston Corbett. Yeah, definitely

1455
01:35:59,640 --> 01:36:02,039
not pay William Walker is mad hatter, though he's always Oh yeah, that's

1456
01:36:02,079 --> 01:36:04,960
right, he's the hatter. I
love that guy who I definitely don't want

1457
01:36:04,960 --> 01:36:08,920
to live his life ever, always
high ki of mercury. It's not like

1458
01:36:09,439 --> 01:36:13,479
he also cut off his dick.
Yeah dude, what Boston's out? So

1459
01:36:13,680 --> 01:36:16,079
William Walker, John Smith, John
Smith, William Walker. William Walker was

1460
01:36:16,119 --> 01:36:21,000
kind of tied. He got executed
by firing squad. John Smith didn't,

1461
01:36:23,000 --> 01:36:26,840
and he did all that cool shit, so did fucking William Walker. No,

1462
01:36:27,079 --> 01:36:30,560
John Smith did arguably way cooler shit. William Waker. John Smith did

1463
01:36:30,640 --> 01:36:34,000
cooler shit. I mean William Walker
did was like a pirate in the sense

1464
01:36:34,079 --> 01:36:41,520
that he stole other He was like
a country pirate where he steal countries from

1465
01:36:41,600 --> 01:36:44,279
places I don't know. Like,
Okay, I'm just throwing it out there.

1466
01:36:44,319 --> 01:36:48,600
I think John Smith's the winner,
but Boston Corporate is not. This

1467
01:36:48,720 --> 01:36:53,560
is in the cellar very, you
know, Boston. He was like,

1468
01:36:53,720 --> 01:36:57,960
went insane on Mercury, you dick
off and ship. Yeah no, dude,

1469
01:36:58,039 --> 01:37:00,479
what I love. I love the
thing from Boston, Corbett's thing where

1470
01:37:00,479 --> 01:37:04,439
the hat the people running the hat
shops knew that, Like the hatters were

1471
01:37:04,439 --> 01:37:06,600
going crazy too. They're like,
oh, he's just got the shakes.

1472
01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:10,000
He's a hatter. Look, I'm
just I'm just keeping on your toes,

1473
01:37:10,039 --> 01:37:13,319
making sure you're paying attention to episodes
we've done in the past. We've covered

1474
01:37:13,359 --> 01:37:15,600
a lot of stuff actually already,
Like I forget about people we've talked about

1475
01:37:15,600 --> 01:37:19,279
already, like Boston Corbett. I
totally forgot about the whole hatter thing like

1476
01:37:19,840 --> 01:37:24,399
that was like the first half of
his life is just shouting shit like you're

1477
01:37:24,399 --> 01:37:28,960
all going to Hell repentance, like
like piggybacking off of other people's street corner

1478
01:37:29,039 --> 01:37:30,159
sermons and be like, yeah,
what are you said? People were like,

1479
01:37:30,239 --> 01:37:33,479
yeah, I get your own corner. But he never technically died.

1480
01:37:35,399 --> 01:37:40,159
He used to list this, Yeah, that we know of. I think

1481
01:37:40,199 --> 01:37:45,239
William Walkers still have somewhere. Yeah, he's in Argentina or Burt Brazil with

1482
01:37:45,720 --> 01:37:50,199
Hitler, Tupac Biggie. Yeah,
why do we start this podcast? I

1483
01:37:50,239 --> 01:37:57,199
don't remember. Fuck, um,
it's been a while. August actually yeah,

1484
01:37:57,279 --> 01:38:00,239
it's been maybe no, maybe July, No, not that long,

1485
01:38:01,079 --> 01:38:05,560
right September. I think it's like
August, dude, Okay, had quite

1486
01:38:05,560 --> 01:38:09,279
a few episodes we have. Make
sure to go back. I mean,

1487
01:38:09,319 --> 01:38:11,279
if you're on a long drive right
now, go back, listen to that

1488
01:38:11,359 --> 01:38:15,359
catalog. Yeah, catch what you
haven't caught yet, of course, right,

1489
01:38:15,119 --> 01:38:18,399
subscribe? Tell a friend about the
podcast, brob, you look like

1490
01:38:18,439 --> 01:38:21,279
you want to say something. I'm
just trying to find that. I'm just

1491
01:38:21,319 --> 01:38:24,479
trying to find it and say it
on the episode. I'll definitely shot them

1492
01:38:24,520 --> 01:38:27,079
out next time. And on Twitter. We're on YouTube too, so make

1493
01:38:27,079 --> 01:38:29,520
sure to subscribe there if you want
to see our pretty faces. Yeah.

1494
01:38:29,600 --> 01:38:32,119
Sorry, And and not to end
this on a on a slowly fading out

1495
01:38:32,239 --> 01:38:35,640
moment, I think, what did
you learn from John Smith's life? Dan?

1496
01:38:38,880 --> 01:38:44,800
Pretty much? Uh? You know, uh, when you're when you're

1497
01:38:44,880 --> 01:38:47,760
at your lowest, when you're a
slave slave, there's nothing you know,

1498
01:38:48,039 --> 01:38:54,199
just kind of push forward, maybe
brutally murder a man with like a that

1499
01:38:54,479 --> 01:38:57,680
was a bat threshing bat, yes, freshing bat, and uh, you

1500
01:38:57,760 --> 01:39:01,560
can make your way to the biggest
thing. Yeah, absolutely, that's the

1501
01:39:01,640 --> 01:39:06,439
lesson. Bash life's face in and
then to cut its head off and then

1502
01:39:06,520 --> 01:39:10,800
take its clothes and right off into
the desert. Yeah, yeah, my

1503
01:39:11,399 --> 01:39:14,399
big I think the big thing I've
learned is from the onset here is that

1504
01:39:14,840 --> 01:39:16,399
I want to be an adventurer.
I want to do something that my dad

1505
01:39:16,439 --> 01:39:20,760
doesn't do is a common theme throughout
history. It didn't change. So yeah,

1506
01:39:20,800 --> 01:39:25,479
an adventure back then was way cooler
than a person who has adventure in

1507
01:39:25,520 --> 01:39:30,720
their bio on Tinder. Now,
wanderlust does not mean when you see wanderlust

1508
01:39:30,800 --> 01:39:35,239
in an Igoro. Yeah, it
does not mean what John Smith had.

1509
01:39:36,000 --> 01:39:40,039
No, they went to like Costa
Rica for a week. Yeah, they

1510
01:39:40,119 --> 01:39:44,279
did mushrooms maybe in Tuloom. Yeah, you know, they just kind of

1511
01:39:44,319 --> 01:39:49,159
surved in Yako. Yeah. What
I learned is that, um, we

1512
01:39:49,279 --> 01:39:53,840
live some bitch ass lives. We
really do. Yeah. That That's what

1513
01:39:53,920 --> 01:39:58,399
I've learned throughout this entire podcast,
everything we've touched on. It's that we

1514
01:39:58,520 --> 01:40:00,319
just don't have nothing to really worry
about, so we create all these fake

1515
01:40:00,439 --> 01:40:08,760
things to get upset about. We
have absolutely so fucking little to worry about.

1516
01:40:08,760 --> 01:40:10,960
And look, you know you should
safeguard again, you know, it's

1517
01:40:11,000 --> 01:40:14,520
and I guess, yeah, it's
good to be it's good to be on

1518
01:40:14,720 --> 01:40:17,600
point about stuff, like focused on
things. But like, oh my god,

1519
01:40:17,680 --> 01:40:19,479
do you kind of miss it though? Like do you kind of feel

1520
01:40:19,479 --> 01:40:23,079
like missed it? I never experienced
it. Do you feel like you missed

1521
01:40:23,119 --> 01:40:27,960
out. No, My grandfather was
quite haunted by World War two and the

1522
01:40:28,000 --> 01:40:31,680
rest of his life was pretty comfortable, So I can't imagine they didn't really.

1523
01:40:31,920 --> 01:40:34,199
I feel like back then they didn't
know any other life. I will

1524
01:40:34,279 --> 01:40:38,079
say they didn't. That was more
normal to them, I guess. I

1525
01:40:38,199 --> 01:40:40,800
will say, though, I think
we missed out in the idea of the

1526
01:40:40,880 --> 01:40:45,920
world having mystery in it. You
know, they're undiscovered places and things like

1527
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:48,159
that. The world is so mapped
out now you can see everything from a

1528
01:40:48,279 --> 01:40:50,800
screen. There's cameras everywhere. Yeah, you know what I mean, Like,

1529
01:40:50,960 --> 01:40:54,079
I think there is something missing to
that, and I think, you

1530
01:40:54,119 --> 01:40:58,600
know, that's why we eventually do
need to expand space exploration again to kind

1531
01:40:58,640 --> 01:41:00,720
of capture the hearts and minds of
not just a nation, but a whole

1532
01:41:00,880 --> 01:41:04,359
society of people, you know what
I mean. It's just like I was

1533
01:41:04,399 --> 01:41:10,560
watching Pushing Forward. I was watching
the crown Um episode where Prince Philip gets

1534
01:41:10,600 --> 01:41:14,159
really into the moon landing, okay, and like he's just like they're just

1535
01:41:14,359 --> 01:41:17,239
he's talking about it. And it's
funny too, because like he he's talking

1536
01:41:17,239 --> 01:41:21,439
about how it's just this monuments moment
for a whole species and not like borders

1537
01:41:21,479 --> 01:41:25,600
don't matter. In that one moment, everyone's like, fuck, like we

1538
01:41:25,800 --> 01:41:30,239
did this, we man did this. We don't have any like species wins.

1539
01:41:30,439 --> 01:41:32,760
Well, Hollywood did it, but
go ahead. Yeah sure, Stanley

1540
01:41:32,840 --> 01:41:35,920
Kubrick did it. We all know
that. But um no, But it's

1541
01:41:35,960 --> 01:41:40,000
it's interesting that we don't really have
that. There's been such a lack of

1542
01:41:40,039 --> 01:41:44,000
focus on like united human effort.
I guess like the closest thing we have

1543
01:41:44,159 --> 01:41:46,960
right now is this fucking vaccine.
Probably, Yeah, pretty impressive. I

1544
01:41:47,039 --> 01:41:50,159
mean it's impressive for even then we're
still kind of being dickheads. That's the

1545
01:41:50,239 --> 01:41:56,039
world. That's a reactive achievement,
not a like we're gonna go conquer something.

1546
01:41:56,119 --> 01:41:58,199
We're not we're gonna go plant the
flag, right, we don't.

1547
01:41:58,319 --> 01:42:00,399
We don't have just one thing to
unite the entire world together at this.

1548
01:42:00,479 --> 01:42:02,560
Yeah, that's why we need the
aliens to show the fuck up right.

1549
01:42:02,680 --> 01:42:04,800
Yeah, we want to get into
a war with aliens if we want to,

1550
01:42:04,880 --> 01:42:08,680
we would lose thing. Everybody together, It doesn't matter. No,

1551
01:42:09,119 --> 01:42:11,680
I will be an alien slaver for
means like it's about the friends we make

1552
01:42:11,720 --> 01:42:15,000
along the way. Yeah, gleep, court. I don't know anyway.

1553
01:42:15,119 --> 01:42:19,359
This is software history. Yeah,
please share with your friends all that shit.

1554
01:42:19,520 --> 01:42:23,880
Enjoy us over the Thanksgiving break,
Show us to your drunk uncle who

1555
01:42:23,920 --> 01:42:26,279
likes to talk about weird, fuck
up history shit all the time. Get

1556
01:42:26,319 --> 01:42:29,560
to that James sound packed thing,
Yeah, rub it in his face.

1557
01:42:30,319 --> 01:42:32,760
You just got self served. There
we go, Happy Thanksgiving.