Oh, open a little wider please, Ah, there we go. Hey,
oh, hey, since I have you here, let me tell you
about Overworked and Underplate. It's an actual play D and D podcast section.
Ah, thank you. It's about some young professionals who find themselves in a
strangely familiar place full of fantasy and magic. Check your patient portal for episode
descriptions and content. Warding Woof was not expecting a barrel to explode in our
faces today, Crystal. Yeah, I would really loved someone to talk to
you about that. I just don't know who to reach out to. I
feel like we should be able to reach out to Jerry, but I can
never seem to find him. Maybe hr Oh look, there's a Bluegual terminal
right there. Oh that sounds amazing. Do you might if I step away
and like try and figure this sucker out? Sure? Hey, bluegul Hello,
I am Bluegle Terminal three one nine. How can I be of assistance
today? Hey? We just had some like a really traumatic experience and I
would like to give some employee feedback. Okay, please tap your badge on
my forehead? Really, yes, really? Oh that's unfortunate. Hello?
Oh yes, hello, my name is human with human resources here at Bluegel
headquarters. How can I be of assistance? Hey, I just had something
really insane happen and my supervisor was involved, and I would like someone to
talk to. Oh. Perfect. We have a very open door policy here
at Bluegel. In fact, we're doing some surveys. I saw you just
had your performance appraisal done. Would you like to give us some feedback on
that? Maybe? Two? Oh? Absolutely, I that would be wonderful,
Miss Crystal number two. Hold on, wait a second, can you
just refer to me as Crystal? That would be perfect. So, Miss
Crystal, I see here you had your performance appraisal. Can you tell me
a little bit about that? Yes, I really don't feel like it was
knacur representation of my skills in my level of effort. And also, I
have not met my manager, Jerry Well. I did meet him this past
like twenty minutes ago, but other than that, I had not had any
engagement with him whatsoever, and I felt like his direction is extremely lacking.
Personally, I have over seven thousand people on my downline and they all treat
me with respect, and I treat them with respect. They are here to
support me, and I must support them too, so I feel like he
just didn't provide that to us, and we're only a very small group.
You mentioned here that you met your manager. Why don't you tell me how
that went. Yeah, it has been sixteen whole episodes and we have not
engaged with him whatsoever. So for him to show up in the such last
minute it is not acceptable. I, like I said, have managed thousands
of people and have shown up for every single one, and he has not.
We've been receiving daily reports from mister Trick about y'all's whereabouts and everything you've
been doing, though, how is that possible if he hasn't been there.
Look, this world is wild to me, and quite frankly, I don't
know how this shit works, so I couldn't tell you, but I do
know that personally he has failed me as a manager, and I would like
that noted in my pod. I don't mind him not being heavily involved.
I let my people do exactly what they want to do as long as they're
producing results, but in the beginning I make the time to sit down and
give them clear instructions. Well, thank you, miss Crystel number two for
your comments. I've written them all down here and I'm going to pass them
along to my supervisor. I really appreciate that, mister Man. You said,
yes, mister hugh Man, welcome my paid and unpaid interns to Overworked
and Underplayed a D and D podcast. Four Young Professionals by Young professionals.
I am your DM or District Manager Alex Capps and today's ice breaker, What
is your character most proud of but can't put on their resume? Hi?
My name is Kyle. I played Jimmy the Sticks. One thing that Jimmy
th is really proud of that he can't put on his resume. So a
long time ago, in a land far away, he was out doing crime
and he was violently flung from a vehicle and it didn't hurt him. And
I'm not sure if that's a trait that I should be proud of. But
you know, durability plus ten. Those who don't know, that's a that
that that story might be a little near and dear to h it is amazing
how durable I am? Yeah, but not the crime? What up with
you? Boy? Marcel Hardy playing Richard Cox, the Human Consultants turned halfling
Bard, who Holly believes it's better to be lucky than good, but it's
best to be both. And the thing that Richard is proud of that he
can't put on his resume is that when he was in school, he won
the shopping cart jousting tournament three years in a row and incredible to prove it.
A. Hi, my name is Anelin Harding. I play Taylor Jacobs,
I sent our barbarian who's been betrayed by her boss. No, it's
fine, it's welcome to the workplace. I'm all right, just um.
And so one of the things that she's super proud of but can't put on
her resume or tell anyone else, is that she runs Club Crystal, which
is a fan club. Right, there's like a thousand plus members there.
Hi, everyone, my name is Katie and I play Crystal, a drought
druid who owns her very own MLM, or at least she thinks she does.
And the thing that she is the most proud of that she cannot put
on her resume is that she is a member of Crystal. She loves to
scan the posts just for that little boost of serotonin that she gets. Resump.
Hey, I'm Marjorie. I play Amyan basically rough and tumble human fighter
with a freshly minted dentistry degree, so something she was advised not to put
on her resume. Whether or not she took that advice, I don't know.
So in college there was a little bit of a bit between you know,
her and her all her classmates to see how many total teeth they could
remove through their entire you know, dentistry. Of course, right, she
won that by like ten times over, and I was like a mixed bag.
You know, she won the money, right, but she was called
into the dean's office a couple of times. I just feel like, for
the first time, like cracks in your like overly sunny demeanor are starting to
show, where, like this whole time, you've been played as you know,
this wholesome, nice individual who has like the like smile on their face,
and like you're starting to reveal some stuff where it's like, okay,
all right, we're gonna stay away. Yeah. Layers also a sidebar.
I imagine the dean at your college. IM I would be upset if the
plaque on his desk didn't say dentist. Dentist him Tyler I play the dead
and side had Paladin I say dead inside because I'm dead outside right now.
So, and something that he probably shouldn't put on his resume but definitely does
put on his resume. Does he have the highest batting average on his baseball
team one season and he hit like three home runs? Well that's a true
story. So it's just the most power flex you can give. They're like,
do you have any relevant qualifications? And You're like, please see my
resume you guys. High school baseball team twenty eleven. Of course, as
I said before, I'm Alex Capps, your DM. And the thing that
I'm proud of that I can't put on my resume is that I've actually finished
a campaign from start to finish with a group of players without losing anyone.
Wow. Is that like a one to twenty or like an shorter than that?
I think it was like a oh god, was this like a Level
three to Level sixteen? That's pretty solid. Yeah. Yeah, Hey,
listeners, this show is made possible by the support of our awesome patrons.
In addition to a thank you for their support, our patrons get an ad
free listening experience and access to exclusive bonus content. In the weeks between episodes,
our patrons are getting an extra show where we recap episodes and talk about
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supporting us on Patreon, check us out at patreon dot com slash own up
Pod. When we last left off, you guys had managed to complete your
performance reviews. You had a explosive meeting with your supervisor, and you headed
on down to the webcafe the server. So when we pick up you guys
will still be freshly damaged in walking it off. Hey, who got hurt?
I'm kind of singed. I've got some bandage I can wrap up.
Yeah, I would like some help, some heels. No, look at
Bentley and Bentley. Light looks completely unscathed. You look unscathed Bentley, Okay,
so let's didn't you use myself? He touched himself. So you'll get
some us, you'll get some heals. You'll get seven points plus the number
of hit die you have. So basically I'll go back up. Yeah,
I was gonna say maxed out there. Okay, so you're up to full?
Hey Bentley used his lay on hands? Are you full? Yeah?
Okay? Is anyone else injured? I have? I am injured as well.
You want me to cast healing word? Yeah, how how are you
going to heal me? Oh? Okay, so yeah, what word are
you using to cast the spills? No, I'm gonna give you. I'm
gonna walk up to you to pray. Yeah, pretty much, I'm gonna
I'm gonna walk up to Amy Ann and I'm gonna lay my hand on her,
on her shoulder, even though I don't have to touch her. But
I think this is more traumatic and I'm gonna be like, I wish you
clarity. And then hey, Cristall, oh thank you. I'm inside for
thank you Crystal. And then it is how much is that healer? Four?
So plus your wisdom? So wisdom is plus four so nine? Yeah,
yes, yeah, she may not act all that wise, but she's
she's got it in the bank. All right. Make sure to mark your
spell slot that you've used a man. Could I get some of that good
good, good, yes, ma'am. Okay, So it's gonna be seven
plus the number of hip dips you have. Okay, so that's back to
full. Ye, thank you, ma'am. You're welcome. And I just
want to be good. I want so from now on, I want you
to think whenever I'm healing one of you guys, I'm just taking out a
roll of bandage and taking your arm and rolling it around your arm, regardless
of where the actual Okay, so it's like air Soft rules, got it.
Yeah, it's like your leg is half amputated by happening around your arm.
So you're welcome, my pleasure, Taylor, and onwards. So you
would find a pretty standard looking brick building, and out in front of it,
it says the server. Is it like cozy looking or is it just
it's pretty cozy looking? Okay, because it's like a cafe, right,
Like it's like an internet cafe, so like Starbucks but off brand. Yeah.
Sure, it's like a local coffee shop that's not Starbucks, because you
should support your local coffee shop a thousand percent. Agree? Okay, cool?
I well, let's go inside and see what's up. Could you use
a couple of coffee? Upon coming in, you would immediately smell the smell
of coffee. Ah yeah, and you probably feel the most at home you've
felt the entire time you've been here. Okay, Wow, I feel like
this is my place, these are my people. I am definitely gonna go
get some coffee. So I'm going to walk up to the coffee bar maybe
and or the barista we have are they called breezes in this world? Okay,
I'm gonna walk up to them and say, are you the barista?
Hello? Can I help you? Are you the barista? Are you in
need of food or beverage? Yes? I would like a triple shot of
espresso with soy milk and almond milk because I like both of them, and
also a little bit of sentiment on top. Ever, ever, requesting manager,
and you see us, the robot kind of walks off, Richard.
What happened? When should we tell her that it's espresso? Richard? We're
never gonna the rest of you walk in. You guys see what appears to
be just a quaint little coffee shop with some ominous looking doors. Towards the
back, you see a bunch of people sitting around round tables that they all
kind of look like crystal, And there are actually crystals on the tables displaying
different holograms. When you say crystal, what what do you mean? Like
hurt? Okay, yeah, hurt crystal like like it looks they look like
drought. And then on the table, no, no, no, on
the table are actually like the the rock crystals are displaying some for yes,
I know, I'm just making sure the listeners understand because they can't see Marcel's
shit eating grin. See his little hand shaped where he held up like a
tiny little like six inch like is this Crystal? Yeah, so you guys
see a lot of drought or what you would assume our drought since you've heard
people refer to Crystal as a drought. You see crystals on the table displaying
holograms. You see the ominous doors in the background, and you notice that
like all the tables have bean bag chairs around them. Finally, Crystal,
do you see do you see these people? They look just like you?
They're mirror around I want to find a mirror and take her to it.
You don't see a mirror, okay, well that bliscovered. Is there a
ways something reflective? I mean there's there's windows, Yes, that's true,
okay, but I mean you could kind of see a reflection in them.
See this, you can kind of see your reflection in it. You look
just like them? Yeah. Yeah, And in Crystal's mind, she's like,
I know what I look like but to Amy, and she's going to
be super nice it's Crystal, you're purple because you're still trying to recruit her
yactly to Amy, and she's gonna be like, yeah, yeah, I
see that, I see that we look alike. I definitely thought I was
like the only one like me. Um. I don't know what, um
why we're purple? Maybe I should talk to them. Do you want to
sit down at a table and see if it's like I mean, it's up
to you. I just know that last time we talked about it, it
seems kind of, you know, like a tenuous thing. So can both
of you roll a perception check really quick? Oh? Fourteen plus perception twenty
A nice fifteen? Okay, so both of you would hear this because it's
pretty loud. But you, Crystal, you hear the robot go there she
is? That is the one in need of assistants and then wander off.
As you turn and look, there's a like a dragon person standing behind the
counter. Uh, ma'am, are you in need of assistance? I heard
you were trying to order a custom drink or something. Does he look like
a barista? I'm the person who makes the drinks, So do you need
a drink? Yes? I asked for a triple shot of espresso with almond
and soy milk and sentiment on top. I don't what is espresso? Espresso?
What is what is that? It's coffee. We have coffee, but
like a concentrated coffee. Okay, I got you. It'll be one second,
you see, wonders off to the back. She turns to Amy and
she's like, man, I don't understand what I was. Baristas these days
they just cannot get anything right. Wow. I mean I have to take
your word for it, Crystal. I haven't been in a coffee shopping since
I you know, I can't remember when really Yeah. Yeah, Like I
don't like to spend money unless it's like at the grocery store. Okay,
Cristo cannot relate. So she's gonna stop because she feels like if she keeps
talking she's gonna get really shitty, really fast. She's never even been in
a grocery store. She only orders through shops. Bill Gates was like flowers,
probably twenty dollars. Yeah, she is no, Like she gets her
food delivered and she has a private ship. It's not even for cooking,
it's just for display. But Crystal, I just want to circle back to
something you said earlier. You said that you know something to the effect that
you didn't weren't unique or something. But I want you to know that you
are. Wow, Absolutely, I want to I don't want to let that
lie. I appreciate you to know that I appreciate you. I appreciate you.
Yeah. Yeah, So what are the rest of you doing? Taylor
sense You can definitely sense that. Yeah, she's gonna be awkwardly standing close
by. Come over here. Yeah so cute? Okay, okay, So
this whole time this is happening, is it possible for Bentley and I to
go try to find where the actual server is in this building? You look
around and you don't really like, you don't really see anything that would resemble
normal network hardware. He Bentley, how do you think the internet works here?
I don't know that it does work here. But as you guys are
walking around, you kind of glance over at these tables and you see that
like there that three of the drought sitting around one of these crystals, and
they're definitely watching videos of like cats falling off the tables. So while you
know, they're arguing over types of milk in this world, which Also,
I want to point out this world doesn't have sauce. They're not gonna have
multiple kinds of milk, just as a side. Now there there's dragons milk,
there's calla milk, goat milk, pigs milk, yeah, chicken milk.
Anyways, so while they're you know, distracting the staff with the different
kinds of milk options, I want to I want to try to figure out
if we can't see, you know, what's going on while the staff is
distracted. So what you're trying You're trying to use one of the tables.
Yeah, okay, So you sit down at it and you like, you
start messing with the crystal and nothing really happens. Like you fiddle with it
for a little bit, and one of the drought leans over and he's like,
he's like, oh, but you need a web browser. Okay,
what can a web browser do I need? He's like, I don't know.
You just got to talk to one of them where the web browsers at,
Well, we're currently using this one. And you see the guy has
like a badge that's got like a fox on it and it's on fire.
Perfect. He's like, but the ones who are aren't busy right now or
back there at that table and he points, and there's a table with four
droughts sitting around. Looks like they're all drinking coffee on them. So one
of them has a weasel with like a storm cloud above it. The other
one has a bare flop that's flying through the air, the other one has
a bird of some kind made out of rocks, and the last one is
like a ghost shark looking thing. So they don't have tour here, got
it on? But I do you see that out loud? Sure? They
said, oh oh no, tour doesn't hang out in a place like this.
Okay, I do see how they have Java installed though, I'm picking
up the puns here. Yeah, I'm so glad you picked up on that.
Okay, this is now not the time. Uh yeah. So Benley
and I if Billy wants to go with me, I'm gonna go try to
acquire one of these web browsers and get them to help us navigate and brows.
Okay. So I'm gonna walk over the table and I'm going to pick
the one with the shark. Okay. So I'm gonna say, hey,
so you approach the table and you see as like they're all kind of talking,
and one of them like taps, the other one points, and you
see as turns around, he's like, yeah, what can we help you
with? Hey, I'd like to browse the web? Is there anywhere I
can get you to come help me? They all kind of chuckle and they're
like, yeah, we I mean that's what we're here for. Where the
where the current browser is on duty? Anything particular you're looking for? Yeah,
I'm hoping you can direct me to this, like some sort of information
repository that you have so kind of think of. I know you guys probably
don't have Wikipedia and here, but do you have an alternative that we can
use, you mean, like the library? Yeah, Thunderweasel can help you.
Hey, Thunderweasel, can you can you point me to the side I
need to go to? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, hold on one second.
And he gets up and walks over to the table and you see as
he places both hands next to the crystal and it looks like he's channeling something
and you see the crystal hours up and he says it would be just a
second, go grab you a drink if you want. Okay, cool,
So Bentley and I are going to walk away while that loads up. Yeah,
all right, hopefully nobody calls yeah, hey guys before we finde up
and kind of do our own things. Can we get back to what the
objectives are for our time here? I know we kind of lost the train
of thought with the goths, so I just want to make sure we're all
on the same page. Oh, oh, Taylor, can I try?
Yeah? Okay, So I think we need to we need to come here
to the web browser place, right, get some coffee, and then we
need to find a spider I think to ride on and then give him a
contract so that we can I think that's all we need to do, right,
find a web developer. So there are no spiders in this room.
You don't see any spider, right? Am? I am? I wrong?
I could be wrong? I remember? Okay, great, who has
the contracts? Hello, I've got one for uh Carstal. Oh that's here's
Crystal. I'll grab it for you. So, uh you go up there
and there is this like putred like black like it looks like motor oil and
it's in like a small cup and he's like triple distilled. Oh thanks,
I'll take this tour. Okay, just let me know if you need any
anything to go in it? Okay, is I don't know. I've not
had espresso before. Crystal take it. Looks like used motor oil. Crystal
takes it. She sniffs it. It smells like heaven. Like it smells
like the darkest, blackest coffee smell you've ever smelled. Do you I detect
cinnamon? You detect a hint of some kind of spice? Well, I
mean it was like, oh, the person, like the DND player in
me is like, do not drink this drinking? But Crystal is like,
it's okay, Christal's gonna take a sip, you see you take just take
like a little sip. I mean yeah, I guess because it's not so
hot that it'll like destroy your your life if you'd like take a sip.
Okay, well we'll just sip it. Sip it. It's a little bitter,
Okay. But as you can tell, this is probably the strongest coffee,
like anything you've ever had. This is amazing. I was very nervous
at first. Um, I guess the Burriss can get something, right,
does it do? It's just coffee? Yeah, Like it's just coffee.
It's it's I mean We'll see what happens when you get through all of it,
but for now, oh okay, um we it obviously doesn't have any
milk in it though, right, No, there's no milk. I'm gonna
go ask for what kind of milk options non dairy milk options they have.
So you go up there and you ask him that, and he says,
uh, you want milk that's not milk? Yeah, oh you want nut
juice you could call it that. Yeah, yeah, we have we have
almond nut juice. What what kind? So unfortunate? She's so nervous.
Is it salty nut juice? No, it's not salty. No. He
brings out and you would recognize fault. He brings out like a picture and
he's like freshly squeezed this morning. That's still so bad. And Crystal knows
that sounds so bad. What's the color of It's like white? It looks
like what color do you think nut juice is supposed to be? Oh no,
I don't joke. She smell, does she smell? I'm gonna smell
it. We don't smell it. It smells like almond milk, like what
you would assume almond milk. Okay, so she's gonna take a cup and
she's gonna pour the milk in, and she's gonna mix in the She wanted
it like more like a latte, not just like shots of espresso. But
so he's like, you like, yeah, that's amazing. I really would
love to know what kind of coffee beans you guys use beans? Yeah,
He's like, coffee doesn't come from beans. She's like, okay, like
I know that I didn't finish college, but like Sailor's gonna be Oh,
they definitely come from bean's college. I thought, No, like I've been
with the coffee. I've been to Starbucks. I know they roast. What
is happening? What are they? What is this made out of? It
comes from from coffee? Cows hot? Well, no, you warm it?
You warm it, okay, I mean it comes out like like ninety
six degrees and then your elevations in my essential oils. We are not going
to continue questioning this, So I am just going to take the coffee and
the milk makes it together. We are dropping this. She's like, she's
like, thank you so much. I really appreciate this. It's it's it's
amazing. I will definitely be you will definitely get returned business. And then
she walks away. I'm having a moment here where it's like, as a
kid, I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows and coffee comes from coffee.
This is all making sense, no, you You like, if you
look in the back, you see like there's like a stall with like a
dark cow. It's in there. Yeah, is it live in a good
life? It seems comfortable. Okay, Taylor's gonna take out one of the
thousand apples? Yes, sure, okay, can I give this to her
cow? It's just an apple. Sure, here, I'll take that.
You know, health department and everything I can't have uh huh, you can
just have a cow in the back, but she can't let someone give it
an apple. Well, it's it's more like we can't. Okay, this
is gonna sound weird, and I don't mean it to be this way.
I'm not this way. But I'm not sure if you count as livestock or
not. She doesn't. Yeah, but I know we can't have horses in
the back, and like they'll like we had to get all kinds of paperwork
to get the coffee cow. And I'm not trying to be a jerk here.
I just I don't want to lose my business license, and don't listen
to him. More, don't listen to him. Taylor, Kate, Crystal
and Amy and are living thanks for nothing? Jerk. Yeah, and then
we're done with this conversation. Yea is it? So I go I go
over to Amy and and Taylor and I'm like, all right, well I
didn't go well, so we're looking for we are looking for a spider.
Where are those other Yahoo's doing? Where are they at? Yeah, we
probably they've made progress that the Internet. It's about this time. Thunderweasel says,
all right, we're We've got the library pulled up for you. So
Bentley and I are going to go over there. And first thing I'm gonna
look up is when this whole place came into existence. So it pulls up
article on the history of Trevaria. You find some information about the uh that
that used to have a king who is now like more of a regional governor.
It's considered a semi autonomous region of the of the Greater Empire. But
so it has a lot of liberties. But you do see some things listed
where it says but that might be changing soon. Okay. So I'm just
gonna quickly scan over this page and be like, all right, cool,
no need to take this off line. Overworked and underplayed. We'll circle back
after these messages. So we're in this internet cafe, I would like to
talk to a drought and figure out like. Okay, so you you can
go approach the table of browsers. Okay, but Bentley, what were you
looking up? I want to look up what's the body tiperature of a calf?
And I already did this and it's loss at you and it's whatever it
is you looked up. Okay, whoa we need to while we're here and
we've got the browser you know, warmed up. Does this universe have like
indeed or LinkedIn jobs? Okay? So, uh so you ask Thunderweasel and
he says, oh, yeah, there's the job posting board. Yeah,
brought to you by by bluegle and he pulls it up. Okay, so
we're gonna search into the search term web developer. Okay, so you enter
this web developer and you see a whole lot of postings looking for one.
You don't see a single posting for one available. And he says, oh,
you're looking for a web developer. Yeah, you gotta go down into
the Worldwide Web for those guys, they don't come out of the of the
under dark very often. How do we access that? Oh, he says,
we can take you down there, but you know it does come with
a cost. Right now, normally I would take you to the city of
calm Uh to find a web developer, but uh, they're pretty much dried
up. There's a lot of stuff going on right now. Some say it's
a bubble. I think this is gonna I think we're gonna ride this way
forever though, a lot of success here in the in the valley, says,
but you know you might be able to find one in the city of
net What what are you What are your specific things you're looking for? Like,
is there is there a specific developer or specific task. Yeah, we
are trying to make a cloud hosting service. Oh you're working with Bluegle,
aren't you. I mean sure, I just want, you know, I
want to I want to host my own website and have my information story.
He leans in, He goes, is this about the whole cloud thing,
like the Bluegle, the Bluegle cloud old thing. What's it to you?
Well, you're gonna need a special kind of web developer for that, because
not just anybody's gonna work on that thing. And the only guy I know
of he hangs out down on the dark web. Okay, so we're going
to first probably need to find a no offense to you. You seem like
a great browser, but you know, I just don't want you to get
in trouble and I want to keep us everyone you're safe. So I think
we need to we need to find a more secure browser. No, no,
no, I know the guy. There's a guy down in net.
He hangs out down there. It's where he likes it. His name's Tour.
I think he can help you. Okays, the guy that I mentioned
earlier, you know Tour. Sure, I mean sorry, sorry, you
know Tour. Yeah, you're being a little bit loud. Yeah, yeah,
it's sorry. I just get excited. I'm not used to seeing normal
you know, surface people that know Tour like he's kind of a big deal.
And to call me in normy. Well, you're not drought, that's
fair, that's fair enough. You stick out like a sore thumb with all
that shiny armor in the under dark. Okay, fair point. I want
to look up Bluegle real fast to see if I can find anything on this
like founding and how long? So you find that Otto von Bluegele the third
was the founder. The one thing you see that like really stands out was
that Bluegle started as like a food delivery service. Wait, one other thing.
I want to look it up. I just want to search therapy question
mark, no results. We need to be put in contact with your friend.
Okay, I can take you to him. Just give me a minute
to get everything arranged and I'm gonna wrangle up Safari and then we'll be on
our way. Sounds good? All right? Hey, so we don't have
to get into this right now, mister Browser, But is there a way?
Mister Browser's my dad. You can call me Thunderweasel. That was really
good. Um So, Taylor, is it possible to like get a print
out or something on the Crystal occult business that's happening just like a history baby
suppliers, anything that's about we don't really like he see he looks through like
the library. We don't really have anything on them. They're kind of secretive.
Do you think we could find anything about them on the dark web?
Ah? You might try in the like the message boards, but that's the
only thing I could think of. Is he going to go through those ominous
stores in the back. Yeah, he goes through the ominous stores in the
back. Should we now? He say he'll come get you. Oh,
I don't like waiting. But while you're waiting, you approach the other drow.
Okay. So I'm going to go up and sit with the Are there
any drow that like look more like me? Like? Because I'm assuming they
all look more like regular drow where they're all dressed in dark clothing and they're
kind of moody. The whole vibe is kind of gothic. Um, but
that's not the way Crystal dresses. So she's more flowy, non dark clothing.
So so the vibe you get from them is less moody and gothic okay,
and more like help desk technicians, like on their lunch break. Oh
okay. So I'm gonna walk up to them, to the one that looks
the most free, I would assume. I don't want to interrupt it.
The one wearing the shark badge turns and he's like, un can I help
you? Miss? Crystal stares at him. Very intently. So Crystal's going
to sit down in front of the drought and she's gonna be like, Hi,
my name is Crystal. What's your name? I'm ether Shark. Ether
Shark. Is that like your given name or like? Is that like your
job title? Well, it's it's a little bit of column A, a
little bit of column B. Like should I just call you ether shark?
Well as browsers? Like when in our tribe, when we become a browser,
we get our rouse your name? Really? Yeah, that's you?
Are you not one of Are you not in a tribe? No? No?
What are you your tribeless? She has a downline? I do have
a downline? Is that is that? I don't know what that word means.
I guess it's like a tribe. It's like a boss babe tribe.
Boss. So you are a Crystal of the boss Babe tribe. I am
I am Crystal Tribe. Um, he says, well, I'm ether Shark.
This is earth Falcon, wind Bear, and of course you've already met
our other friend Thunderweasel, and over there is Firefox. Okay, well,
I'm relatively new to being like you. So am I supposed to have two
names? Uh, most most people have two names, don't they. I
guess they do. I guess I'm not used to having two names. So
anyway, what would you do if there was another crystal running around? Look,
it's a long story. I don't want to like get into my personal
mama and do any trauma dumping on you right now. But he's like,
think it. There's He's like, I mean, I know at least three
crystals. That's so nice. How do you how do you differentiate yourself from
the rest of them? My name spell with the k oh. Two of
them's names are spelled with k's. Also there's a y in there. Anyway.
Um, so I I'm new to this. I'm new to looking like
this is Um is there anything special that I'm supposed to know? Or Um?
I just feel like you're my people and I'm supposed to kind of You
know about about the spiders right there? You know, did you never learn
to ride one of the spiders? As a matter of fact, I think
that sounds pretty rough? Um? What well, No, they're there.
Their backs are actually quite soft, are they? Oh? Okay? Um?
Well yeah that sounds awesome. Um, but no, I did not.
Are you an orphan ye, yes, yes I am, Yeah,
I am an orphan. Yes, that's what I am. I'm so sorry
to hear that me too, is there? So can you give me like
the rundown of like what I'm supposed to be or how to find more people
like me? Okay, okay, you can do this. You can do
this, ether shark. So we live underground. If you ever lived underground?
Uh no, but the parking deck to my apartment complex was underground.
I don't know what any of those words mean, but I heard underground,
so I'm gonna assume we're on the same page. Uh uh Well your eyes
okay, I see you have the sun blockers on your head, Like,
do you wear those when you go outside? Yes? Okay, that's because
we hate the sunlight. Well it is really bad for your skin, so
like I could, yeah, horrible for our skin, it is, ah
the So so we like underground. We ride on the back of our giant
spiders. How do I get one of those? Uh? Well, there's
a whole like ride of passage when you come of age. But you being
side quest, you being an or, I'm not exactly sure how that works.
Okay, In fact, I'm not really sure how any of this works.
I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to be telling you this, But
I've never met a draw who wasn't a member of one of the tribes.
What I have a tribe, It's just it's not like a normal tribe.
That's okay, you know, whatever, whatever it takes to get through the
day. So yeah, and we live in there's the Four Great Cities underground,
there's Eddu, there's Calm, there's gov and I just got it.
I did too, Okay, so that's awesome. Is there anything so like
we are trying to like I've been course into working for this company, and
I really don't want to be here, and I would like to end this
contract as soon as I possibly can. We are looking for like a web
developer, and we were already we've already got that process started. Um,
but like, is there anything that I should know, like as one of
you that would help me on my journey, like help us on our little
like quest. He looks at you and he's like, well, no,
Thunderweasel. If Thunderweasel's helping you, you got it, Okay. Cool.
He's great guy, great guy, And and Safari is a fantastic spider very
smooth ride used to passengers. You guys will have a great time. Oh
oh, we're going to ride one now soon. Well, he said he
was taking you to net right. I guess I just saidn't realize what that
meant. Um, I'm not looking forward to that. But you know what,
apparently, why wouldn't you look forward to returning to the land of your
ancestors. You know what, It's just performance anxiety, you know, it's
a Oh, I understand that, it's a yeah. So, but I
really appreciate your help. Yeah, And if you're ever in need of some
amazing essential oils and whatever like to engage in a marketing campaign, to work
together on something, I would be totally willing to do that. And Crystal
has officially now made business cards for herself and she is handing one too.
Okay. He takes it and he goes, I don't know what to do
with this, but I will keep it as a cherished gift. Oh,
thank you. And you see as he pulls out a pen and he writes
like on the back of it, he writes tribelists out. Okay, he
says, oh, one one word of warning, hold on when you're on
the spider and don't stare at the lights, okay. And Crystal looks around
to Amy and Taylor and she's like, yeah, that's okay, that's not
ominous at all. But again, appreciate you. It's been amazing getting to
know you. Like I said, thanks for the tip on the sunglasses any
time, and I look forward to seeing you again. Maybe we could get
some coffee and you could give me some more tips, maybe talk about some
business opportunities. I'll probably be here. Cool, awesome, thank you.
If you want to work for yourself, you just reach out. Why would
I work for myself. I work for the tribe. Oh no, okay,
Well, if ever you would like to gain your independence, just just
shoot me a message. It's oh lucky at a bluegel terminal. Yeah yeah
sure, oh okay, yeah yeah, I follow Okay cool cool, And
she just like gets up and walks away. Crystal, I didn't know you
were an orphan. I'm so sorry. If you ever want to come to
like a gathering, let me know you're always welcome. Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, it's really sad. I don't have a family left. She's doubling
down. Here's her big hug. I feel like Taylor would know that she's
She looks it Taylor crystals like, I need you to make me a deception.
Oh no, when you tell that to Amien, it's one thing to
tell a complete stranger that that's true. She came up to you and y'all
had some bonding moments here, so I want to see some pain. Okay,
Um fuck? What is it? Three? But it's also plus plus
five, so it's an eight. Taylor's gonna be like, oh man,
and that happens so recently too. I'm so sorry to hear that. Are
you trying to aid her? Oh my god? Did you just aid her
by saying your orphaning happens so recently? Yeah, just before we came Okay,
I'm gonna that in context, she's alive. I don't think that's how
orphans work. Everyone knows the best way to give more details. I don't
think you could. If I lost my parents today, I would be an
orphan, right? Is that technically how that works? I thought you're only
an orphan if it happens when you're a child. The Oxford Dictionary defines an
orphan as a child whose parents have passed away, So I guess it depend
on how you define a reroll your three O. God, the whole time,
Amy A's just hugging the longest hug ever and and the fun part will
be what happens next. Um that is a thirteen. Okay, So now
Amy and I need you to roll an insight check. I feel like Amyan's
just thinking about Crystal's teeth. So here's here's how this happens. Is they
both doubled down, and you get the feeling there there they might be fibbing.
How do you react to that? She's gonna squeeze your a little little
tider and do a little sniff and let let it go all and the patter
on the head is everything I wanted. Thank you so much. Like it's
like she knows, but it's like, no, they need this. Crystals
having a really tough time in this world. So it's about that time Thunderweezel
comes back up, says, all right, Safari, he's all fed and
ready to go. You guys ready to hit the hit the web. Do
we have a light that's not fire base? Oh you don't need that where
we're going. It's quite dark there. Well we can't. I can cast
dancing lights if you want well, I can't see in the dark. Guy,
don't worry. That's not going to be necessary. It's just your first
time on the web. Yeah. Oh, well, come on down.
Okay, okay, So he leads you all down the stairs and he thunderweezel
even turns. He goes, sorry, it took so long. I had
to make some you know, adjustments to the transport cart for your whole party,
so you'd all be comfortable. But he says, he says, don't
touch the spider. She can be a little antsy when she's doing her work.
But uh, and just hold on and don't stare at the lights.
And as you get down at the bottom of the stairs, you see what
appears to be like a bottomless chasm in front of you, hundreds of what
look almost like fiber optic lines running, but as you get closer you realize
they're just really thick spider webs. And you see off to one side several
spiders tapping the strands of the web and sending lights running down the channel.
And and then you see a very large spider, and as you get closer
you realize it's like half machine, half like organic and it looks over at
you and like leans down so that you can get on its back. You
have it has like this massive Are you familiar with the howdah? It's like
that thing they put on the back of elephants to ride on, a little
carriage thing. So it's one of those on its back. That's that's looks
like they've removed the roof and extended a little bit. He says, all
right, everyone, all aboard, next stop. Net A gratitude today keeps
the haters away, and that's why we want to thank you for listening to
Overworked and Underplayed. You just heard Alex caps as our dm Anelyn Hardy is
Taylor Jacobs, Katie is Crystal two point zero, Marjorie as Amy Anne,
Marcel Hardy is Richard Cox, Tyler as Bentley, and Kyle as Jimmy Styx.
Episodes are edited by Marcel and circle back episodes are edited by Katie.
We hope you enjoyed it and we'll circle back in two weeks on June twenty
nine for the next episode. You can help us to get the word out
by rating, reviewing, and subscribing wherever you listen to podcast. You can
also follow us on social at one up pod that's owwn up p o D
subreddit r slash o. No, she's not like the Tooth Fairy breaking into
people's houses. Okay, like that. No, no cries. This one
went off the rails.