Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual assault that some people may find
disturbing. Please listen with caution. If you didn't catch the last five episodes,
What are you doing here? Go start the story from the beginning.
We left off last time with my ex sorority sister letting me know that her
and my other ex sorority sister were worried that I was going to Title nine
because it might get the sorority kicked off campus. Snapped. I wake up
and in about an hour and a half, it's my meeting with Title nine.
I can't believe that this is real life. You know when some ship
goes down and you wake up and you're like, please, let that not
be real. I checked my phone and I looked at my messages from last
night, and yeah, this was real. And I can feel my anxiety
in my heart, in my hands, My brain is foggy. I call
my mom and I'm bawling on the phone with her, and she asks me,
like, I do I know everything that's going on? And you know,
she didn't. She didn't know about Derek. And there's just something about
the word rape that is really scary to say, Like it's almost like you
don't want to define it as that, because then it that makes it real.
So she asks me if she knows everything, and I tell her no,
and I tell her she's of course very upset, and she tells my
dad and he calls me. He's like, mom told me that something awful
happened to you. Like he didn't even want to say the word rape,
and like, you know, even like with talking to friend ends about it,
no one wanted to say rape. Oftentimes people just refer to it as
like what happened, but not never really rape. I mean, we're taught
that rape is violent and it's like getting pulled into the bushes, and we're
taught that a rapist is a villain. And for a while I was more
comfortable saying sexual assault instead of rape because it felt like people could handle that
more. And sometimes I felt like rape didn't describe what I went through because
it wasn't violent, it wasn't with a stranger. But if I had my
stuff stolen for me, I'd call that person a thief. If someone killed
me, no one would have a problem with calling that person a murderer and
saying I was murdered. In Jessica Valenti's article, when you call rape anything
but rape, you are just making excuses for rapists. She poses a question
that I would like to ask you all right now, and that is,
how can we stop rape if we're not even willing to call it what it
is. I actually have a journal entry from that morning that I wrote when
I got off the phone with my parents, and it says I told my
parents that I was raped today. I was so stressed and anxious because my
quote friends were insinuating it was selfish for me to go to Title nine because
ute some of my good friends might really be affected by it. All the
trauma and pain that the sorority has put me through doesn't matter to them.
But I guess I'm just realizing who my real friends are. I just feel
like everyone is against me, and it sucks. The last thing I want
to do right now is go to Title nine, which if you don't remember,
is the Office of Civil Rights and Student Misconduct. But nevertheless, I
persisted. When I leave, my roommate says, good luck, You've got
this, and I'm like, yeah, I got this. And I'm walking
to the bus that takes me to campus, and I'm texting with my ex
boyfriend who I hadn't talked to in about two months, but we had dated
prior to this for about two years. And so he's someone in my life
who I know very well, and I had just been through a bunch of
shit in these last two months, and I guess I was texting him to
seek comfort in him. And something that I remember from this conversation, after
me giving him a rundown of everything that I was going through, he told
me like, Lucy, like I'm really worried about you, Like you need
to be more careful. This really pissed me off, because yeah, I'm
worried about me too, but no, I am not the one who needs
to be more careful, So please shut them up. I can no longer
engage in these text messages. I get to the Title nine Offices, which
is on campus, and I'm sitting a bit waiting. A representative from the
place on campus that helps survivors of any type of abuse, assault, etc.
Comes and sits with me. She is joining me in this meeting for
support. Eventually, a representative from the Title nine office comes and gets me.
We walk into the office, she makes me some coffee. I hand
her the twenty five page staple document that I've made, which includes a whole
bunch of stuff. Go back to episode five if you want to hear more
about that, but pretty much it shows proof and explanations of all the ship
that went down in this meeting. We don't go through every single thing in
the document. I give her a long story short of the major events,
and I tell her how the sorority told me that what happened wasn't considered haze
because it wasn't before new member initiation, but I wanted to make clear to
her that to me, this still was hazing. She sympathizes with me and
gives me a bit of information about reporting the rape and what that would look
like, and she tells me that she will get back to me in about
a week or two to tell me if they could potentially break the housing contract,
because that was the primary reason that I was here. I wanted to
break the housing contract. I also emphasized to her that I really don't want
the sorority to be kicked off campus for this, because it's just going to
make my life worse because I'm going to be the one to get the backlash
for that. So yeah, please don't kick the sorority off of campus.
I leave the meeting, and life goes on for these next two weeks.
I dye my hair brown. Actually we all know that moment. I had
been blonde for maybe like seven years. Now I'm truly brunette. But I
have never felt comfortable to go back to brown and fear that I wouldn't look
good. But now that I'm out of the sorority, where there's not as
much pressure to look good, I don't give a fuck. Let's fucking do
this. I'm going back to my roots and I have brown hair to this
day. Hanna, I posed a picture on Instagram of me with my brown
hair that says Hannah Mont Hannah to meet Miley Cyrus. I'm also dressing more
like myself again. Feels so good to throw away and give away my sorority
clothing and that I'm waiting to hear back from Title nine. I hear from
my friend who was worried about me going to Title nine, she replies to
one of my snapchat stories. I don't remember what she said, but it
was acting like our friendship was normal, and I told her, hey,
like I'm not comfortable to talk normally. After our conversation, and then she
tells me that she doesn't want to continue this friendship because she doesn't want to
be made out to feel like a bad person for her opinion, and it
was too hard to be friends. She said, you're a good person,
but I won't be around. I genuinely don't know what I would have done
if I didn't have such supportive new roommates and my freshman year of roommate and
another friend who was not in a sorority. I finally hear back from Title
nine and they let me know that they cannot break the housing contract because the
sorority is a private organization. But they say that they could open up a
case on gender discrimination slash sexual harassment against the sorority, and I could also
still report the rape. After a lot of thinking, I ultimately felt like
I'm not ready to go up against the sorority and I don't I don't know
what this is going to turn into. Like Title nine said that, you
know the sorority would be involved in the investigation, it would probably in clude
people being questioned. I didn't trust people to tell the truth. I didn't
trust people to have my best interest at heart. I expected them to have
the sorority's best interest at heart, and also knowing that these are million dollars
organizations I don't know, maybe more. Either way, they're fucking rich organizations
who will probably have rate lawyers. And I don't want my parents to have
to now put all this money into a lawyer. And even if they don't
have to put money into a lawyer, if this investigation does go well,
like, what's that going to mean that the sorority gets kicked off campus?
Like there's no way that this investigation is going to go down without more trauma
for me and bullying. And I also want to start the healing process,
like if money is going anywhere, it's going to therapy. So I decide,
yeah, no, I'm not doing an investigation for that or for the
guy who raped me. The things that I've heard about investigations when it comes
to rape and sexual assault have been all on that negative. My friend from
another school who was raped, her investigation process with the school lasted a year,
and the criminal case started in her freshman year and it went till the
summer of her junior year. Also, her rapist family hired a private investigator
who took pictures from her Instagram, some of her bikini pictures and brought them
into court and slut shamed her and tried to show the jury that she was
promiscuous. So yeah, I didn't have faith in society. I didn't have
faith in my school. I didn't have faith in anyone to provide justice.
And you know this is not me saying don't report, like definitely not.
That is a personal choice, and I support anyone who decides or has decided
to report. I'm just explaining that for me, I had no faith that
this would go down in a way that would heal me. So yeah,
I told Title nine no, not right now for both of those potential investigations.
In terms of the housing contract, I mean now, my only hope
of breaking it was with my meeting with the adults who represent the sorority.
I was going to meet with two advisors of the sorority and make them aware
of the injustices that occurred and try and break the housing contract. I wake
up with a pit in my stomach because, like, at this point,
it was still so fucking draining to tell the story again, because it was
still so recent and it's hard to reveal your trauma to two strangers who probably
definitely don't have my best interest at heart. So I walk into the building,
I meet the two advisors and we find a classroom to have our meeting
in. I then hand them the twenty five page Staple document, you know,
the one I'm talking about, And in this meeting, I actually go
through each point and read it aloud rather than just summarizing. So the whole
meeting, my eyes are looking at the document. I don't look up until
I'm done reading. At the end of the document, I start tearing up,
and they empathize with me. One of them says, as someone who
has had a similar experience, I'm so sorry. And I'm not sure if
she was referring to the slut shaming the rape, but that statement seemed genuine.
They also said it's good that I told them because they only get told
so much by the sorority, and there's a lot that they're not made aware
of. The conversation ended with one of them saying the sentence that I had
probably received like twenty times now, and that statement is Greek life isn't for
everyone. And I said, it's an episode four, but I will say
it again here who is Greek Life for. They told me that they will
discuss the situation with the housing board and then get back to me. And
I leave your meeting. After this, I get a message from them that
says, just wanted to follow up with you since our meeting blah blah blah,
and I appreciate the time you spent with us and the information and concerns
you shared with us. We have already begun discussing some of the issues with
the chapter and will continue working with them to evolve as a chapter and sisterhood.
I hope finals went well, and happy holidays to you and your family.
Happy holidays to you too. The housing contract was never broken. My
parents continue to pay for the room for that whole semester and continued to pay
for my dues for that semester. At this point, that's exactly what I
expected and just wanted to start the healing process. Now stay with me.
I'm going to be jumping around a bit to show you how this affected the
rest of my college experience. Twenty eighteen begins. It's the second semester of
my sophomore year and I move into what we call the crib. In that
semester, it was me and my roommate against the world. She was friends
with the guys down the hall, and so I became friends with the guys
down the hall, and it was lovely to form platonic relationships with them and
not be suspicious that they're scheming to get with me, Like it was genuinely
platonic, which I had never experienced before. The Sorority of It still recruiting
new members, and so of course I see pictures on Instagram of their bid
day, and seeing these pictures definitely makes me feel uncomfortable, and in a
way, I feel bad for these new members. I feel like I know
something that they don't end. I hope for their sake that they never have
to find out. And I realized that I wanted to officially uninstall this SIMS
Sorority expansion pack from my life, like I'm done associating with this glitch,
and I slowly start on following right when I disaffiliated, some of them had
already began to unfollow me, and you know, it happens one by one,
it happens daily. But I delete the instant on follow app and I
just start on following myself. Every time I see something that has to do
with Greek life on my feed on follow Sorry not sorry, I'm no longer
getting as many likes or comments, but at least I have real friends now.
My old friend and the sorority, who was upset that I was going
to Title nine, ended up apologizing. She sends me a long, genuine
email apologizing for her actions and her words, and you know, saying maybe
sometime we can meet up and talk about it all all. And I respond
letting her know that, you know, one day I would like to talk
about it all, but for right now, I'm still really hurt about everything
that happened last semester, and I need time to heal and be away from
things that remind me of my troubling time so that I can move on and
forgive. In terms of my other old friends from the sorority, I hang
out with them a few times the semester and individually as people. You know,
I still respect them, but something's not sitting right with me. I
felt like I still needed to ask about sorority stuff, like going to formal
like all of that. What I wanted to escape I still got when I
would hang out with them. And I'm also starting to feel a sense of
betrayal that they're still in the sorority, and I like, I know we
didn't have the same experience, but I don't know. I can't help it.
Like hanging out with them just triggered a sense of rejection that I no
longer wanted to be reminded of. And so slowly I just kind of stopped
hitting them up, and slowly they stopped hitting me up. In terms of
Derek, the guy who raped me, I believe I saw him around once
and I just put my head down and didn't make eye contact. And in
February I received a text from his friend, and this text said, Hey,
Lucy, it's Derek's good friend. He's having an extremely hard time moving
on with his life and trying to potentially get back into Greek life. Is
there any way that I could act as a mediator between you two to get
some closure for the both of you. He wants to contact you and discuss
things, but obviously that hasn't worked. The only way he can move on
with this is if he can somehow talk to you or get into contact with
you. And I say, what does he want to say? I don't
have an interest in meeting up and he says he's just extremely distraught about the
situation. I'm sure you are as well, but this whole situation is really
messing with him. He's just looking to potentially talk to you about it.
It honestly has messed him up pretty bad, especially within Greek Life, and
I say, I don't see how that's my problem or how slash why I
should change that. It has messed with me badly as well, and his
reputation in Greek life is not my problem. And that's just the dumbest part
about it. I'm sure that this situation did mess with Derek pretty badly,
and I for sure see how it was probably traumatizing to be barbarically yelled at
by your almost frat brothers and then shunned by the entire Greek Life community because
the word gets around. But there is just so much that's wrong in this
message. First of all, if I'm going to have a fucking mediator,
it's not going to be you. Second of all, I'm sorry, why
is this being put on me? Like what do you want me to do?
Make an announcement to the Greek Life community being like oh, like never
mind, he didn't rape me. His frat kicked him out for nothing?
What And third of all, I don't give a fuck about his reputation in
Greek life. I try and become a better person, joined some fucking clubs.
And if Derek had sent this text, by the way, I don't
know what he was referring to about contacting me. I heard from him once,
like the day that he was kicked out. He was asking to talk,
and at that point I was not in the head space at all to
talk, so I said no. Other than that I had never heard from
him again. But if he messaged me and was reaching out with the intention
to understand and make amends, I would have been far more inclined to consider
having a chat with Derek. But the fact that I'm like his solution to
cure his reputation in Greek life, get the fuck out of my face.
I've heard from many individuals that numerous members of the Greek life community at my
school called me crazy. The first time I heard this was when my friend
told me that she was with the group of friends and someone was talking about
Derek and saying that he got kicked out of the frat because some girl accused
him of raping her. But she's crazy though, And I was told that
other top tier sororities were going around calling me crazy as well because of my
disaffiliating song. And I was told that they loved it because my sororities reputation
was taking a hit from it or whatnot, and it was just embarrassing that
the black eyes would sing it like apparently was making my sorority look bad,
and so the other top tiers were excited because that made them look better.
And I get that my disaffiliating video was bold, and I could see how
someone might cringe because of it, because they would never choose to disaffiliate through
a song or disaffiliate at all. But just how quick they jumped to put
me down and call me crazy and get joy about the fact that my old
sorority's reputation was taking a hit from this and it would make them look better.
I think shows a lot to what values these organizations perpetuate. I mean,
if sisterhood isn't about coming together to support one another and make every woman
feel safe, then what is it about. It seems that the Brotherhood does
a great job at protecting each other at all costs, while the Sisterhood values
being popular, which in sorority world means being accepted and approved of by the
brotherhood at all costs. When I see my old sorority sisters on campus,
I become very hyper aware of how I look, what I'm doing. We
slowly stop waving to each other. If it was someone that at one point
I was friends with, maybe we'll chat for twenty seconds, but this was
rare. One of my old roommates who lived with me in the sorority house
is actually in one of my classes this semester. You know, at first
we talk a bit, we chit chat. I asked her about rush because
I feel obligated too, and then eventually we stopped chit chatting in class and
stop saying hi. Summer twenty eighteen, I'm on a boat millions of miles
away from sorority world and the song Mister bright Side comes on, you know,
the fucking song. But it comes on. My heart tightens, my
brain becomes foggy, and I need to sit down. This is not the
last time I'm triggered by things that make me feel like I'm back in sorority
world. One of my favorite quotes is by alex This Haynes in her book
Recovering from Reality, and the quote is healing means having your heart shatter over
and over again. And this is exactly what my junior year of college felt
like. I didn't go out at all. I'm always feeling kind of uncomfortable
when my friends asked if I want to go to the bars, and I'm
kind of just like, like, you, you can go without me.
And usually my friends would be very supportive and fine with it, but there
were definitely moments where I can tell that I killed their vibe. But I
was just constantly afraid that I was going to run into people from the sorority
or that I was going to feel alienated by that environment. I hadn't been
to a frat party since I disaffiliated, Like that wasn't even in the cards
for me. Like my friends wouldn't even ask me to go to that because
they knew I was not stepping foot in a frat house ever again. And
you know, don't feel bad for me, Like I am happy than not
ever step foot in a frat house ever again. And I'm even happy to
not go to the bars, Like I still love my roommates. I'm becoming
closer with people in my major, and I'm still hanging out. I'm still
doing my thing at the crib, having dance parties, but I just really
don't want to go out. Two of my old sorority sisters are in one
of my classes this semester, and I transfer out of that class. Campus
and the areas around campus start to become a lot smaller for me. The
area by the sorority houses in frat row. For a while, I wouldn't
even dare to go, and if I would drive by, I couldn't not
stick my middle finger out the window. I kind of just go on my
route from my apartment building to the Performing Arts building, where I don't have
to go on campus. Because just seeing people wearing Greek life shirts, especially
seeing women wear frat shirts, especially the frat that my sorority was obsessed with,
really fucking triggered me. Seeing sororities go around doing the lanthropiece shiit just
makes me angry because I know that's not why you exist, and I'm mad
at my school for so openly enabling this. I truly start to resent my
school. And when those are the people that are supposed to protect you,
you just kind of lose trust in anyone. When I hear the word slut,
I just feel really triggered. Even if it's used it with a positive
connotation, my heart just like tenses up. I start to have reoccurring nightmares
every night. For a solid two months, I would have nightmares ever every
night. And one of these reoccurring nightmares was me being in the sorority house
screaming and people just like looking at me. Another reoccurring nightmare is me reporting
Derek and the sororities standing outside the court room protesting against me, and people
would often times ask me like, oh, why did you drop? And
usually I would just be like, it's a long story. Sometimes I would
get into it. But for a while, I'm feeling really lost with all
of this and still not really feeling any sense of closure. Something that did
make me feel a small sense of closure was when I talked with my old
friend from the sorority, the one who was upset that I was going to
Title nine in fear that it would affect the sorority, and we meet up
to talk and I find out that the semester she disaffiliated. I actually asked
her if she wanted to share anything on this podcast to show a bit of
her perspective, and her comment is, I think from the ending of me
and Lucy's relationship, our breakup, I learned that catastrophic things happen when you
know you're doing something that doesn't align with who you are. I know that
being confused about your identity is a very common thing in college. So when
you finally realize that something doesn't match up with the identity that you're growing into
and finding that's a problem and it's your own responsibility to fix it for yourself.
Greek life kind of comes in it shapes the world around you for you,
and I know, for the ones found that on social values, your
identity ends up being shaped around sex, drugs, alcohol, and being conventionally
hot. I felt that I was in a volatile environment and wanted to get
out of that and see what else was out there for me. I felt
like my growth was just completely stunted, and I didn't give myself the respect
to grow into the person I wanted to be because I was too busy remodeling
myself into what other people wanted me to be. And if you're not respecting
yourself, how can you give respect to other people. I've just decided to
leave that part of my life behind with the bittersweet understanding that it overall didn't
do as much good for me as I anticipated, and affected a lot of
the things I care about, and Lucy is one of them. Full fucking
circle, and I'm really proud of her and happy for her that she was
able to realize how this organization was affecting her and take action. You guys
know how I've been feeling this past semester of junior year. And during this
I hear that my friend who's a freshman, is rushing a sorority, and
she knows about everything that went down in my time in the sorority, not
to the extent of all the details that I share in this podcast, but
a general play by play. You know. I try and warn her and
give her the spiel. I tell her join other things I promise you,
Like it's toxic, Like they're fucking cults. You know, She's a wide
eyed freshman. All of her friends are rushing. Everyone's telling her to rush.
She doesn't want to end up with no friends. She doesn't want to
be the only one not rushing, and she rushes. I see from Instagram
her mid day pictures and she joined the sorority that I was in. This
takes me back to feeling like I'm screaming to be heard, to be validated,
but instead feel shut down and silenced. And around this time I actually
have a pretty big falling out with my freshman year roommate as well, because
she's still in a sorority, and to be honest, I can no longer
handle it. I'm taking it personally, and I know that she was in
a different sorority than me, but at this time in life, I'm aware
that this is a systemic issue, like it's not just my sorority that's the
problem. I'm feeling like, oh, then she must not care about me,
Like, oh, but we must not have the same values. And
I end up breaking down and telling her how I'm feeling, and we end
up taking a break as friends for that semester, which killed me because I
love her. And in this semester I start therapy, and through lots and
lots of talking and thinking and crying, I realize that I have two options.
I can continue to be angry and hurt and take it personally that my
friend is in Greek life and project my feelings and lack of control for what
I went through on this friendship, or I can acknowledge that I had a
really traumatic experience and it's changed the way that I view the world. But
while I may not agree with my friends choices, I can still understand them
and remember that she was one of the most supportive people throughout all of this,
and it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about me. Interestingly enough,
my freshman year roommate ends up disaffiliating from her sorority. I don't know this
until we become friends again, which is at the end of my second semester
of junior year, where I apologize or projecting my trauma onto her, and
in my first semester of senior year, I go abroad. This helps me
a lot to distance myself from everything that I went through and look at it
more from a bird's eye view. And what really helped me do that was
creating this podcast, and I'll talk more about that process in the Q and
A. I come back to campus in my second semester senior year. Also,
I just want to make lots of shit is going on during all this
time. I'm just telling you all about stuff that's still related to my Greek
life experience. But yeah, this semester, when I drive by the sorority
houses, instead of sticking my middle finger up, I just don't look.
When someone's talking about greek life, I just don't listen. And I'm able
to be completely friends with my old friend who joined the sorority I was in,
and have no negative feelings towards her. Life is great. I love
to not feel resentment now. When I see people who are rushing or people
who are in Greek life, I just kind of think to myself, good
luck, Charlie. And you know, I still feel sad for them,
and sad that these organizations exist on campus and people are joining them, but
I just don't take it personally or look down on them for it. Because
the truth is, Greek life can sink its clause into anyone. Go back
to episode one, Go back to episode two. Go listen to how I
was completely complicit with the greek life system. Go back to episode five and
listen to what my friend was texting me about going to title nine. She
would have never said anything close to that if she hadn't been completely sucked in
to sorority world. It doesn't matter how great the individual is once they're sucked
into a group that enforces conformity and loyalty to the group over everything, their
values can be thrown out the window. I mean these organizations have a cult
like psychological effect on its members. Think about it. The love bombing at
the beginning, the repetitive chanting at rush about how amazing the sororities are.
Being discouraged or even punished for doubting or leaving the organization. The leadership dictating
how members should act, think, and feel, the us versus the mentality.
The leader not being accountable to any authorities. The leadership inducing feelings of
shame and or guilt in order to influence and or control members. The group's
main focus on recruiting new members, the group being preoccupied with making money.
Members being expected to devote a wild amount of time to the group and group
related activities. Members being encouraged or required to live in and or socialize only
with other group members. I mean, if it looks like a cult,
and it sounds like a cult, then it probably is a cult. But
either way, these characteristics will lead you to value the group over anything at
all costs. Also, let's not forget that these groups are recruiting you in
such a vulnerable time. I mean, as a college freshman, you'll latch
onto anything to feel a sense of community. And the power that group think
holds in these organizations can make it almost impossible to get out once you're in
it if you don't know what groupthink is. It's based on the desire not
to upset the balance of a group of people, which creates a dynamic within
a group where creativity and individuality tend to be stifled in order to avoid conflict.
This leads to one way of thinking, one way of dressing, one
way of talking, and no one wants to be the odd one out.
No one wants to disaffiliate, no one wants to be the only one not
rushing. And group think is at its highest risk when group members are very
similar to one another. So in these sororities, you've got a bunch of
white heterosexual ciss woman who come from wealth the backgrounds I mean, at the
least these women are middle class because I mean the money to pay dues,
that's to come from somewhere. And then you have the tier system on top
of it that groups the women into different categories based on how conventionally attractive they
are. So you have all these people that look the same and come from
similar backgrounds, and so the group of think meter is like bipthink I occurring.
Sobrities and groupthink will always be there. The group think meter may not
be as high, but it will always be there. But we need to
flip it so that the group think is fuck Greek life. This ship is
fucked up. Let's all disaffiliate. By the way, this is not talking
about black and multicultural fraternities and sororities. Those organizations were made to hold space
for people of color because people of color were not accepted for a while in
traditionally white sororities and fraternities and are still tokenized and or not accepted. What
I was saying before is it makes sense why my friends gave into that group
pressure, or why I gave into that group pressure, why you gave into
that group pressure and got sucked into the Greek life system. But when you
gain the awareness and see the truth of what these organizations really are, and
if you listen to this whole podcast, I hope you gained that awareness,
it's then your responsibility to think about what you're going to do about it,
and I know some of you are like, oh, Lucy, like that's
just your sorority, Like my sorority would never do that. I had such
a different experience than you, And to that, I say, congratulations,
you're one of the lucky ones. And I completely validate all those amazing friendships
that you've made. No one can take that away from you. But what
I want to remind you of is that those friendships that you have are not
the sorority. Right. Let's say I met one of my friends through a
theater company and we end up realizing that this theater company is very sist,
sexist, and exclusive. And you know, maybe the show that we were
in everything was great, the director was great, but the theater company is
actually really fucked up. You're not going to defend the existence of that theater
company because you met some of your best friends there. So what's different about
other types of organizations and sororities is that sororities do an amazing job at making
you equate your friendships to that sorority. And I mean, that's what a
positive sorority experience is. No like meeting your forever friends and maybe gaining some
leadership skills. I mean what else does a positive sorority experience mean that you
didn't get raped and that you didn't get excluded or ostracized and bullied and slut
shamed or discriminated against. Because yes, let's say none of these things happened
to you, and maybe the people in power at the time that you were
in the sorority were great and didn't abuse the power. But just because it
didn't happen to you, it doesn't mean that it's not happening to your peers
or that it won't happen in the future, because the fact of the matter
is that these organizations are set up for abuses of power. These systems aren't
broken. These organizations are working exactly how they were made to work, which
is why reform is not possible. People have been trying to reform this system
for years and years now, and as we can see, it's not working.
Also, why are we putting it in the hands of our diversity chairs
literally like nineteen year olds, to solve this systemic issue? And if you
weren't aware of what these organizations are capable of, then I urge you to
open your eyes, literally, just open your eyes and count the amount of
women of color in your chapter and know that that's not an accident, and
know that it's not an accident that we rarely hear about the traumatic experiences because
those individuals were very likely silenced, either by the chapter or by society in
general. When Greek life fails you, it's easy to feel like it's a
U problem, Like all Greek life isn't for me, That's what everyone's telling
you. But I'm here to tell you with this podcast that it's not a
you problem. This is a Greek life problem. And I am done with
our schools treating these organizations as something that's remotely safe. I mean, what's
it going to take for schools to abolish Greek life? High schools, high
my school. I know you're listening. I'm asking you right here, straight
up, what is it going to take for you to abolish Greek Life?
How many people need to be rape? Who needs to die for you to
take these organizations off of our college campus? People fucking die from hazing from
these organizations, and yet there's still excuses to keep them around. And yes,
there are apologies, workshops and investigations, and sometimes with these investigations will
kick a few of the sororities or fraternities off of campus, but those will
never address the systemic issues that are built into greek life. Just because you
kick one sorority off doesn't mean that the next isn't designed to fuck someone over
in the exact same way the next day. And that's one huge reason why
I want to share my story through podcast and not open an investigation against my
sorority after having gained the strength to potentially do that, because I don't give
a flying hoot if my sorority gets kicked off campus. I'm interested in abolishing
the entire system. And it's time that you schools start caring about your students
instead of openly supporting organizations that perpetuate and give a huge platform to sexism,
racism, classism, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, and white supremacy. And
I know in this podcast, I don't name my school because I wanted to
make it clear that it's not just my school, and I still want to
make that clear. But now that we're at the end of the podcast and
I have your attention, I'm calling on University of Maryland to abolish greek life,
set an example for other schools, and do what's right, And I
know you schools are like, oh, but Lucy, we get we get
so much money from the Greek Life alumni. And so that I say,
you are charging your students thousands and thousands of dollars to attend your universities,
you will be just fine. And then there's an argument of, oh,
then everything is going to go underground, and then the schools won't be able
to control them at all. And I'll tell you right now, you're not
controlling them at all. And you so openly supporting it shows a lot to
what you schools are willing to tolerate. And if you schools denounce it and
ban it from campus, less people will join it. Maybe then all the
wide eyed freshmen who come in trusting their school won't join those organizations or go
to a frat party and get raped in their first month of college. Because,
by the way, more than fifty percent of reported college sexual assaults occur
between August and November, and freshmen are at the highest risk since they have
fewer friends, less drinking experience, and an eagerness to fit in. And
let's not forget that frat men are three hundred percent more likely to rape than
someone who is not in a fraternity. All my citations will be in the
episode notes if you'd like to check. We need all that support and money
to go to groups and organizations on campus that will include all students and not
base the membership eligibility on looks, social skills, gender, and money,
Like why are schools holding so much space usually an entire fraternity row for those
who are already so privileged and uplifted. These spaces need to go to the
students that actually need it. And those positive things you can get from Greek
life, like making friends, gaining leadership skills, and participating in philanthropy,
you can still do that in other organizations that aren't built off of exclusivity and
gen z. It's time that we shut this ship down. Greek life doesn't
align with the future that we want to create. New Being in Greek life
doesn't just affect college campuses, it's affecting our political climate as well. Do
some research about where the money of your dues is going towards. But a
hint is that there's a good chance that your political values don't align with the
people that are being supported by your dues, and acknowledge that you're participating in
a system that is making it so white men stay in power. Eighty five
percent of the fortune five hundred executives belong to a fraternity. Forty of the
forty seven US Supreme Court justices since ninety ten were fraternity men. Seventy six
percent of all congressmen and senators belong to a fraternity. If you've ever thought
about disaffiliating but haven't out of fear, this is your sign to take the
leap. And maybe you're like, oh, but if you know, if
I disaffiliate, what's that going to do? It's gonna make those around you
think about what they're doing. Sing it with me, add up the socials
and into the bus. But I'll see you all that happy, and I'll
become a jed, do my thing, go my pace, and disaffitlyate.
So yeah, this has been my story about how Greek life failed me.
But I am only one victim of the Greek life system. This is only
one story, and I know that there are more stories out there and I
want to hear them. That's the power behind me too. The more we
share our stories, the more we discover how many others can relate. Our
voices are our power our stories are our power. Our bravery to share our
stories are our power, which is why I think there's should be a Snap
season two to give a platform to more of these stories. There are so
many perspectives that we have yet to hear from. I want to hear about
people of colors experiences in these institutions. I want members of the LGBTQ plus
community to come on and share what it was like to be in such a
heteronormative space. I want to talk to fraternity men, I want to talk
to sorority women. I want to keep talking about rape culture and slut shaming
and any other topics that young adults have to deal with. This conversation is
not over yet, and before we close this off, I have a few
more questions ready. What are you willing to put up with to be part
of a community? What are you willing to ignore? And my final question,
and this is to everyone, but specifically to those who are in Greek
life, and this final question is is it worth it? The answer for
me is no, none of it was worth it. Snapped. I just
spoke by truth, and that truth would not have been able to be spoken
without the motherfucking Snapped team. In alphabetical order by last name. We're gonna
start it off with Isabel Preacher. Isabel was best friends with me throughout all
of this bullshit. She helped move me out of the sorority house and has
provided so much support throughout this entire podcast. This amazing woman has been helping
me write pitches and provide outreach. Next, we've got Rose Crusa. Before
Snapped was anything, Rose sat with me and went through all of my pages
and pages of bullet points and helped me organize all my thoughts. Next up,
we've got Kneel Gotlia, our audio engineer. We fucking stepped our sound
quality up when knee La joined the Snap team in episode three. Let's slide
on over to Sadie heck Off. Oh my gosh, she just texted me.
She's sending us good vibes, and that's something that she's always been doing,
sending Snapped good vibes. When this podcast was originally a web series,
Sadie sat hours and hours with me, asking me questions to help me tell
my story. Up next, we've got Jonathan high On. Jonathan helped me
direct and film the interviews that you can see on at Snapped. The podcast.
There you can find all of the names of the lovely actors who participated
in this project. So Fia ilk I don't know anyone else who could have
done such a beautiful job at creating the Snapped cover art. What an iconic
design. Taylor Jones, thank you for letting me use your song. This
song you're listening to you right now in the Snapped finale. The song is
called Regular and you can find it on Spotify and iTunes. It's by Taylor's
band Magic. Elizabeth Piper actually my life coach throughout all of this. She
is a life coach for gen Z and Millennial Woman. At the beginning of
this project. She also that hours and hours with me, helping me put
a lot of this story into words. Next, we've got Sienna Share.
Sienna made the iconic Snapped theme song. If you need any type of music
for your projects, hit up Sienna. Megan Thompson. Megan has been my
roommate for the past three years. She also helped me move out of the
Storty house and we were barely friends then, so that just shows a little
bit about what kind of person she is. The amount of questions that I
have asked this woman about this podcast is absurd. Thank you Megan for answering
all my questions, correcting all my grammar, helping me create in Brainstorm,
social media captions, episode titles, and information you name it, Megan and
has been there to at least check my work. There are so many friends
who have supported me so much with uplifting words and told me to keep going
when I felt like I couldn't, and have been such a huge source of
inspiration throughout this podcast. You know who you are. I love you so
much. Thank you, and thank you to my parents who have shown me
nothing but love and support towards this podcast. Also, big shout out to
my role model Miley Cyrus. You have been such a huge source of inspiration
throughout my entire life and if anyone has any connection to Miley, please send
her this podcast. I guess I'll shout myself out as well for being the
narrator, creator, editor, and producer of this series. And I want
to thank myself for never giving up. There were moments where I was close,
but there was always something in me that kept going. Who knows what
the future holds. All I know is that I'm not stopping here. Bom bom bom