1 00:00:07,879 --> 00:00:18,000 Good morning, Mother sphere good morning bad comonic sphere of the cover welcome to 2 00:00:18,039 --> 00:00:23,079 a new episode of Good morning, Mother Wait welcome to a new podcast of 3 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:31,960 this group of episodes where for already some seven years we love you accompanying with 4 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:38,679 interviews always very interesting people, themes that may be laughing. My guest is 5 00:00:38,799 --> 00:00:46,039 not good, he cuts me, he cuts me off the presentation, but 6 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,240 nothing happens, because he already knows it, you know it by heart, 7 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,320 that I always tell you how many things, but well it is that you 8 00:00:52,359 --> 00:00:56,719 have to introduce these things always not in the best way that I bring cool 9 00:00:56,799 --> 00:01:02,000 people who always know that here are current issues or that they are always relevant 10 00:01:02,039 --> 00:01:04,040 and that, although you think that you do not care and that you do 11 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,519 not care, they do not affect. That' s not true. Always 12 00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:12,680 from each episode you can get some reflection, some learning or some emotion, 13 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:18,120 because on many occasions, the most we can aspire to is entertaining how beautiful 14 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,680 and how little. And that much at the same time, today I have 15 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,200 with me virtually here a guest with whom I have already had the luxury of 16 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:33,560 chatting on several occasions that well, I am very excited to invite again to 17 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,640 this Good day Mother Sphere, because it is always a pleasure to talk with 18 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:41,239 him. We learn a lot, a lot from him and besides, I 19 00:01:41,239 --> 00:01:47,079 ' m going to ask him to be a pelin the mic apart so that 20 00:01:47,239 --> 00:01:52,159 in all his laughter, if his emotion does not arrive in that way directly 21 00:01:52,159 --> 00:01:59,280 to our audience hello. Alejandro, how are you, Alejandro Rodrigo, our 22 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,959 beloved admirer, Alejandro Rodrigo, with whom we have already spoken on many occasions. 23 00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:07,360 Alejandro, how are you going to see Monica, good morning, how 24 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:14,240 are you Mothersphere Hello to the whole Community. This is wonderful. I' 25 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:21,840 m here delighted, I laugh at jons, but I' m just so 26 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:29,840 happy to be with you at last here again, on this stage I feel 27 00:02:29,879 --> 00:02:34,520 at home, at your house. Well, not very happy, really. 28 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,240 Thank you very much. It' s an honor, it' s a 29 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:44,080 pleasure to see if, indeed, it gives us to talk about nice and 30 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:46,919 good things and it' s not you two hours here saying we' re 31 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,439 happy, but I have to tell you it' s an honor, that 32 00:02:49,439 --> 00:02:50,560 is, thank you very much. Sh How' s the microphone there? 33 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,879 What' s up? To see well well, little by little, little 34 00:02:53,879 --> 00:02:54,520 by little, the thing goes there before. Don' t touch it. 35 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,960 I think there' s better. There' s no better. Technical issues 36 00:02:59,039 --> 00:03:06,240 sometimes cost. This doesn' t come up, you just have to practice 37 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,120 and you know. We always have our technical stuff. They usually don' 38 00:03:09,199 --> 00:03:14,879 t listen, but this program has cost us a lot to achieve. Alexander, 39 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:16,520 for things of life that don' t come to the point. We 40 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,120 had a hard time getting here. It' s a hit. It is 41 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:27,240 a success for me to get to talk to you and even though we have 42 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,199 started very laughing and that well, it is always a joy to talk to 43 00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:37,479 you. Nor do I promise the audience that it is an episode of much 44 00:03:37,479 --> 00:03:42,800 haja, no, although with me you never know, because sometimes I laugh 45 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,120 at things that good, because there are people who bother because I laugh a 46 00:03:46,319 --> 00:03:51,039 lot but in this case it is true that laughter is not the predominant theme 47 00:03:51,199 --> 00:03:54,400 of our conversation, Alejandro, because it is true that with you, because 48 00:03:54,400 --> 00:04:00,000 we have to talk about hard things and more with the new book that you 49 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,400 have published, Alejandro. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? 50 00:04:00,479 --> 00:04:03,159 Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, and that' s where we squeeze our hearts. 51 00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:11,759 Look at adolescence, it' s pure emotion and a lot of humor. 52 00:04:12,639 --> 00:04:15,480 It' d be two o' clock today. Done, then, 53 00:04:14,639 --> 00:04:18,600 I, in fact, do this because I don' t want to stop 54 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:26,920 being a teenager. He does. This second book, well, it' 55 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,480 s different. First, the first one is one I don' t know 56 00:04:30,759 --> 00:04:32,879 if it guides, but it' s like a little bit more disclosure of 57 00:04:32,879 --> 00:04:36,839 good, so look. This is more technical things to learn to detect aggression 58 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:44,000 and violence, which is what I do. Young teenagers who present violent or 59 00:04:44,079 --> 00:04:48,600 aggressive behaviors within their family home with their parents, in fact, to cut 60 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:54,199 and but well, I was a probation technician in the player of Madrid. 61 00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:59,199 Here, in the player of minors in Madrid, and I specialized from the 62 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,519 two thousand eight to the two thousand thousand twenty, only in cases of ascending 63 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:06,519 domestic abuse, that is, boys and girls who had a judicial measure because 64 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:14,040 they had been denounced for a potentially criminal act and such a court had pronounced 65 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,079 sentence then, this which, indeed, has nothing of grace truth what you 66 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,920 had said the beginning of this good said, that is, my mother, 67 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,120 yes, I have judged minors from two thousand eight to two thousand twenty, 68 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,839 specialized only in that is what I dedicated myself hour after hour to see these 69 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:33,319 cases. But the first book is one more book of outreach, of understanding, 70 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,560 of sharing with all readers, for everything I had learned and how to 71 00:05:39,199 --> 00:05:46,279 detect aggressive behaviors differentiate it from violence. Why we can get there and somehow 72 00:05:46,319 --> 00:05:50,040 then extract learning worth, what we can do to prevent this from happening to 73 00:05:50,079 --> 00:05:57,800 us. And the secret of the first book was that we can' t 74 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,519 look at you. I, Monica, run away a lot from the management 75 00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:04,399 books that tell you what to do, you have to set limits, you 76 00:06:04,439 --> 00:06:08,000 have to tell your son this, you have to spend more time with him. 77 00:06:08,319 --> 00:06:12,120 It seems to me that with all respect and admiration, because making a 78 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:16,680 book is a titanic thing or spreading well too, but in the case that 79 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,519 it is my responsibility it is much more difficult, because each case is a 80 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:26,240 world, that is, really your family and mine, being practically the same 81 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,720 it is. Let us think, however, that we are a world. 82 00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:31,040 You as a mother and I as a father, I' m sure we 83 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,439 ' re a world. Then we must attend to the individuality of each case. 84 00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:38,879 That' s the first book and the second book. Well, you 85 00:06:38,879 --> 00:06:43,800 ' ve already seen it. I think it is entertaining, not there, 86 00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:47,680 yes, to see, entertaining, entertaining and we love entertaining, or here 87 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:56,560 anything, already between tower. You can' t let him go. I 88 00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,480 mean, it' s a book that hooks you from the front page by 89 00:07:00,519 --> 00:07:05,120 the way you narrate it, and we haven' t presented the book conveniently. 90 00:07:05,199 --> 00:07:13,399 Please forgive them for real news from within. Author Alejandro Rodrigo and his 91 00:07:13,519 --> 00:07:18,360 first book was how to prevent conflicts with adolescents. Published both the first and 92 00:07:18,399 --> 00:07:24,839 second by current platform. You have, not one, but two podcasts dedicated 93 00:07:24,959 --> 00:07:29,399 to the first book, because here, Alexander and I are very intense both 94 00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:31,160 and we didn' t have enough left with the one, which we said 95 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,240 is true. It' s true. Not in the world can be. 96 00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:38,439 No, we need others you can' t be. Two. Okay And 97 00:07:38,519 --> 00:07:43,759 then, he also came to a mother sphere space where we had the luxury 98 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:47,519 of chatting with you with Borjatswara, and I think there was also Carolina from 99 00:07:47,519 --> 00:07:53,240 Nia, where we talked about control, lack of autonomy or excess autonomy, 100 00:07:53,399 --> 00:07:58,800 how to manage autonomy in childhood. True, yes, yes, Human, 101 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:03,040 yes, and we also talked a lot about social networks, screens, but 102 00:08:03,079 --> 00:08:07,240 autonomy technology, as because all the sphere space is always in space of telephone 103 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:11,519 foundation. We always talk about family and technology. And there you were with 104 00:08:11,519 --> 00:08:16,040 us, that is, you' ve been leaving here several times, because 105 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:22,560 you' ve been able to listen to him several times and we said that 106 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,319 this book is entertaining. This book is entertaining. Real teenagers analyzed by an 107 00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:33,960 expert who will help you understand the risks and strengths of each stage of the 108 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:39,360 cover. Let' s start with the cover that already presents us with a 109 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,559 figure, a silhouette of a hooded character, so you don' t see 110 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:48,440 that it' s like a shadow and what that typical one could be. 111 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:54,399 She' s a teen already covered in the shade. Something is already telling 112 00:08:54,440 --> 00:09:01,120 us there that something more regular. And besides, I remember when you published 113 00:09:01,399 --> 00:09:09,279 this book that you told me is very hard. Hey, eye, it 114 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,600 ' s very hard, uh, yeah, it' s very hard. 115 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:16,440 Jo oysters is warning me now, fabric, cloth, I' m leaving 116 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,960 ready And it' s true that it' s very hard. It' 117 00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:24,039 s true that it hooks you from the front page to the last page. 118 00:09:24,159 --> 00:09:28,320 And it' s true that I cried no. That' s right, 119 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:33,360 that' s saying a lot of saying a little, because it' s 120 00:09:33,919 --> 00:09:39,000 true that I' m a crying person, but that goes beyond an outreach 121 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:43,519 book, it goes beyond a teen book, because I hooked you up in 122 00:09:43,519 --> 00:09:48,360 a very human way. You touch, emotions and things in there where we 123 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,559 ' re reading you, that leaves you, that leaves you a mark, 124 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:58,159 that' s a book that marks. There' s my little brief review 125 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:03,320 So first, to start seeing you say very excited, very excited, because 126 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:09,120 you' ve counted super excited. Really so much for the times you' 127 00:10:09,159 --> 00:10:11,879 ve given me the chance to be here with you. If I' m 128 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,960 here it' s because it' s a huge pleasure for me, so 129 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,159 thank you so much. Then, by the way, a brief note. 130 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,440 I found it super stimulating from that space where we were in presence and I 131 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:28,080 learned a lot in two companions and when you talk, you also learn from 132 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,159 yourself from saying my God what a fool. I' m already saying oh, 133 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,879 well, this fits what I thought, so good. Thank you very 134 00:10:33,879 --> 00:10:37,440 much. Let' s see, Mira. I sat down with the publisher 135 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,480 and told them I had an idea of a second book. Tomorrow come on, 136 00:10:41,639 --> 00:10:45,080 start tomorrow and then I sat down with the publisher I was going to 137 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,600 be my editor for and I posed several ideas that I had from where to 138 00:10:48,639 --> 00:10:52,120 focus a second book. I was very clear that I didn' t want 139 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,840 to make a second book that was a continuation of the first, because not 140 00:10:56,879 --> 00:11:01,039 to me that not to me that didn' t attract my attention and I 141 00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:01,759 wanted to make a book that would come out of my heart. And really 142 00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:05,919 because I think it would be easier to do one instead of how to prevent 143 00:11:05,919 --> 00:11:09,639 conflicts with teenagers such as intervening in conflicts with fingers. In the first, 144 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,159 I sell you prevention, in the second I sell you how to act. 145 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:18,039 However, I think it was going to be very forced and I didn' 146 00:11:18,039 --> 00:11:22,600 t want to. When I told my editor Mercedes Castro, and I said 147 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:26,360 look at Mercedes, I have thought that, like mine, the trench is 148 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:31,480 the job itself, that is, the you to you, the teenager one 149 00:11:31,519 --> 00:11:33,919 after another, the four o' clock one, the five o' clock 150 00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,759 one, the six o' clock one, the seven o' clock one, 151 00:11:37,639 --> 00:11:41,200 and I really have cases that are very good that I think can impact 152 00:11:41,279 --> 00:11:43,320 quite a lot and that the boys themselves have a lot of learning. They 153 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,799 have a lot of messages to tell. I told her what if she didn 154 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,840 ' t watch a few cases and then we did a technical analysis of each 155 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,440 case and then she looked at me that she' s a great editor and 156 00:11:54,440 --> 00:12:00,080 that she edited great texts and great novels and looked at me and said well, 157 00:12:00,799 --> 00:12:01,559 if you' re able to see what comes out of you. It 158 00:12:01,759 --> 00:12:05,000 ' s not without challenge, yeah, yeah, and good. Today I 159 00:12:05,039 --> 00:12:11,919 am super proud of the result. But the fundamental thing is that I want 160 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:16,240 to tell you is that I too was very excited in some section of the 161 00:12:16,279 --> 00:12:24,879 editorial, to remember those protagonists and those protagonists and I want to tell you 162 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:28,320 something that happened a month ago. Well, it doesn' t matter when 163 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,879 this is a podcast that' s gonna be listening to people. In two 164 00:12:30,919 --> 00:12:35,639 thousand fifty- three, so when we had the presentation of the second book, 165 00:12:35,919 --> 00:12:39,159 you notice what I' m going to tell you in the presentation of 166 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:43,559 the second book, I thought that from this book I wanted no one to 167 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,799 come, because it was a horrible day in Madrid, of rain and I 168 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:50,440 had many cancellations of there something to be done by Alejandro. I' m 169 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,399 not going I can' t go. Hey, I got a puncture in 170 00:12:52,399 --> 00:12:54,960 my car. Listen to real things and I said well, that' s 171 00:12:54,960 --> 00:13:00,720 it. I' m going to go my mother, the editor, and 172 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,840 no longer success, it' s not the numbers, but the love you 173 00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:07,279 have in the room. Don' t see it' s okay, but 174 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:11,080 suddenly they started to fill up people and I got a little bit out of 175 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:16,440 control and I started saying a lot of nonsense, I have to say, 176 00:13:16,639 --> 00:13:20,799 but they suddenly appeared as protagonists of the book in the room, and that 177 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:26,519 really removed me a lot. The mother of the first case showed up. 178 00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:31,639 This mother appeared conception there and didn' t give me time to say hello, 179 00:13:31,799 --> 00:13:35,360 but I was already with the microphone talking and suddenly I see her coming 180 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,960 in and then I see her look at you. I am still very excited, 181 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:41,480 I see her looking at me and smiling at me, as I say 182 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:46,519 here I am and she gave me a turn of heart saying of my God 183 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:52,360 has come and or came also the second wine in the chapter of all of 184 00:13:52,399 --> 00:14:01,559 them, which is a little difficult case of gender violence, and she came 185 00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:09,840 and came and also came accompanied by her parents and again she removed me very 186 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,480 much behind. There is no doubt that I had them, but sent the 187 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,759 manuscript so that they would have it, because it is not them. It 188 00:14:20,879 --> 00:14:24,559 ' s not really them, but it' s them. They themselves radiating 189 00:14:24,759 --> 00:14:30,840 were reflected in these paragraphs. It' s me and these others you' 190 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,440 ve touched more because I have to save everything, but it was extremely exciting. 191 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,000 So it' s a book that people who have read it tell me 192 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:45,519 depends on your theme and depends on what moves you. There are novels, 193 00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:48,279 forgiveness, there are cases that move more. It has removed me and I 194 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:54,200 the day of the presentation gave me a tremendous turnaround seeing good these people who 195 00:14:54,200 --> 00:15:03,919 have been so important and are so important. How you chose the cases and 196 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:13,799 how you wanted to put it so that it wasn' t an exhibition of 197 00:15:15,559 --> 00:15:24,440 the most dramatic or tragic or shocking that, to not fall into a big 198 00:15:24,519 --> 00:15:31,919 brother you know a show that could have fallen because we all know contained formats 199 00:15:31,919 --> 00:15:39,799 where it goes. Sometimes she also sells that she is a teenager, very 200 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,600 violent that drama that sometimes turns around in the best way. Not how you 201 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:50,080 got it, what themes you chose and how you organized it, just so 202 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:56,559 it wasn' t. Well, it' s very difficult what I' 203 00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,320 m going to tell you, but pretend to be honest. This is a 204 00:16:00,399 --> 00:16:03,480 book where you have to be honest about the respect for every family I' 205 00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:11,039 ve written there and every kid. First things first. All the cases you 206 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:15,399 ' ve read are intentionally diminished in their level of tension and gravity that they 207 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,320 had in real life, that is, they' re not at all as 208 00:16:19,399 --> 00:16:23,759 they were in real life. In real life there was much more explicit violence, 209 00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:29,639 but I can' t put so much in a book. There was 210 00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:32,679 a father once that I remember many times that came a talk from me years 211 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:37,919 ago and told me it' s the second talk that I came from you 212 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:41,039 in a hospital and I really like the content of all this. I was 213 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,120 waiting for the but, not all the time. It' s good to 214 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,919 see when the but arrives, and the but is a but, Alexander, 215 00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:49,279 it stresses me a lot, I' m very distressed to hear you, 216 00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:52,919 because our case is not such an explicit case of violence. There' s 217 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,320 no blood in my house and I realized that, indeed, without me wanting, 218 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,320 but it came from the juvenile court to work twelve years with the biggest 219 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,319 crimes you know you can imagine. And we' re not talking to a 220 00:17:03,319 --> 00:17:08,160 rebel boy. We are not talking about many times a rebellious boy and many 221 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,880 times a boy that a family has reached a certain level because they are hardly 222 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:17,440 imaginable. Therefore, the first thing is that the case of Raquel, the 223 00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:18,720 case of Ana, the case of Román, in the case of the Chavales, 224 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,759 the case of the teacher, the case are all cases that I have 225 00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:29,079 removed sensationalist parts and look, you will say, my mother, because you 226 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:33,799 get to put the sensational part. No, but I haven' t taken 227 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,279 him away because we really have a lot to spare one day, he took 228 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,319 a knife and did this not to his mother. The important thing here was 229 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:45,960 the opposite, everything else and then how to choose them. Well, well, 230 00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:51,519 as I have dedicated myself to this. I' ve had a lot 231 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,400 of cases that I' ve forgotten about and a lot of cases that are 232 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,279 there when they sometimes greet me on this case effectively, and there' s 233 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,960 been a lot of cases that have marked my professional life, especially when I 234 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,960 haven' t really known what to do or how to do. The case 235 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,599 of Román, for example, the father this coming a session and tells me 236 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,160 what this case tells me, which is an adoption case, well, because 237 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:19,880 to me somehow, somehow I am good, are cases that you working on 238 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:26,440 this touch you then the selection was a little bit by themes, by themes 239 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:32,759 and for wanting to have the maximum of topics important to me addressed and then 240 00:18:32,839 --> 00:18:38,240 in writing and with this out it was the writing that sent, that is, 241 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,319 there were cases that I have there written but that do not work, 242 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:48,680 that rereading it, you say it. This case struck me more than the 243 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:53,000 others, but it doesn' t work, I mean, it doesn' 244 00:18:55,079 --> 00:18:56,720 t flow, it' s not true what I' m counting, but 245 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,319 it' s not credible. I don' t know then no, and 246 00:18:59,319 --> 00:19:03,279 yet those cases that later reread him, you say Jolins, because I think 247 00:19:03,279 --> 00:19:07,480 this is, that it has value. So well a little natural tea. 248 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:17,079 It' s taken a lot to write it down, the process has stopped, 249 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,519 you' ve had to change and remove something consciously. Saying this I 250 00:19:21,599 --> 00:19:25,440 ' m not gonna put it. Apart from those details you might consider tougher. 251 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,680 No, the writing has been very. Writing has been very vomitive, 252 00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:36,319 which is what it is to capture each of the stories was very not the 253 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:42,279 pull. Sure takes a lot to put on. For me the most difficult 254 00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:47,559 thing has always been to delete and not have an extension of the quijote left, 255 00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:52,559 because I am of much talk as already seen, and then you start 256 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:55,279 to write, you will write, but then you have to delete to remove 257 00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:59,640 superfluous things and focus only. But in the end there are seven stories, 258 00:20:00,079 --> 00:20:03,400 very conscious and in a short space of time many things happen. It' 259 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:08,359 s not a 200- page novel every case. Then the hard part for 260 00:20:08,519 --> 00:20:12,640 me has always been the process of eliminating and being alone with the part and 261 00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:19,839 then I' ll tell you yes, there' s a case that' 262 00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:22,839 s removed from the book. I' m telling you, not this. 263 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,000 I think this is okay, let me tell you. It' s you 264 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:30,400 and me in this situation. There' s no one else. I don 265 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,319 ' t remember what number it is But there' s a case that' 266 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:42,920 s called rocking that if you open the book, it' s just a 267 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,039 couple of paragraphs and then it accompanies the case, that is, the technical 268 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:53,599 analysis, which is, don' t leave him orphaned and then rock talking, 269 00:20:53,759 --> 00:21:00,279 It talks about a teenager who at an age that doesn' t suddenly 270 00:21:00,279 --> 00:21:03,640 lose his father to his maximum reference figure. And that case is described, 271 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:08,759 it is developed, it was, in fact, seen by the publisher I 272 00:21:08,759 --> 00:21:15,319 tell you about it and here now, in the first place, it was 273 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:22,200 edited, it was clean, it was put on, it was modeled, 274 00:21:22,599 --> 00:21:26,759 it was about there, in all this writing process, there, the last 275 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,160 point is to hit the ok and then it is printed on the machines. 276 00:21:29,319 --> 00:21:33,240 And I, the day before I took it off, had a cathartic or 277 00:21:33,319 --> 00:21:42,920 cathartic moment. My wife and I and we reread it and there' s 278 00:21:44,039 --> 00:21:45,599 nothing like having someone knows to your side that he loves you, that he 279 00:21:45,759 --> 00:21:48,720 knows you and what he knows. And we said no to this, not 280 00:21:48,759 --> 00:21:55,799 because it was too personal. And then there' s a point where, 281 00:21:55,799 --> 00:22:00,640 well, there it is. In the end it was horrible to take it 282 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,039 off without boarding or I' m very happy to take it off. It 283 00:22:02,079 --> 00:22:06,079 ' s a different chapter and with those three paragraphs I tell you everything. 284 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:15,319 Besides, it' s true that it' s a sudden surprise that it 285 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:21,960 breaks your reading and makes you even more hurt. So I don' t 286 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:27,680 mean. I think it connects in a way that absence connects in a very 287 00:22:27,759 --> 00:22:33,599 special way with all the people who can read you and who have lived something 288 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,519 similar or not. It seemed like a blow to me, not knowing the 289 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:45,799 reason behind it. I think he' s transmitting something. I don' 290 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,839 t know if it' s exactly what you wanted to transmit or not, 291 00:22:49,319 --> 00:22:53,839 but it transmits something and it gets very discouraged, that is, I get 292 00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:57,720 that part uff with hiccups. It' s true, because he plays. 293 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:04,559 No need, no need to decide many things to express such deep feelings, 294 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:12,279 something like the loss of a father or mother. Not sure, well, 295 00:23:12,319 --> 00:23:15,480 it was the hardest page in the book to write. It' s the 296 00:23:15,559 --> 00:23:19,839 shortest and yet, no doubt that' s not why it' s a 297 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:25,440 chest book discovered, it' s an open- hearted book and there it 298 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,680 is. There' s that chapter, just like the others, and we 299 00:23:29,759 --> 00:23:33,000 can do interviews. I' ve seen Corbata and we' ve already talked 300 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:37,039 about aggressiveness, but we can do interviews or outreach or books like this, 301 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:45,640 which is a because there goes life, not there is yes, with the 302 00:23:45,759 --> 00:23:48,680 despondent and how it has left you eh from what I see. Yeah, 303 00:23:48,559 --> 00:23:53,480 yeah, yeah, yeah, it' s great I had some moments in 304 00:23:53,559 --> 00:24:00,160 the book It' s all a roller coaster where you' re living the 305 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:06,279 most, a lot of emotions, and in some of them you have to 306 00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:07,960 get some air because it' s a book about adolescence. But first we 307 00:24:07,039 --> 00:24:14,640 ' ve all been teenagers. And on top of that if you' re 308 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:15,880 a daughter and you' re a mother or you' re a father. 309 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:22,039 The levels of intensity and situations that can touch you, on the one hand, 310 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:27,400 on the other, because it can disarm you as you are a little 311 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:33,920 soft. Alejandro, we have to put on a churning. Nothing looks at 312 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:41,559 the baker in my neighborhood. I send you my regards. The baker so 313 00:24:42,039 --> 00:24:47,200 had it, I don' t know what and then I' m going 314 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,200 to buy the bread and then he stops for a moment he looks at me. 315 00:24:48,559 --> 00:24:52,960 They start to fill her eyes with tears and she tells me I can 316 00:24:53,279 --> 00:25:00,240 ' t read it because I' m a daughter' s father and then 317 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,759 she read it, then she finished it. And but, well, I 318 00:25:02,759 --> 00:25:06,319 think it was the first time I realized a little bit because you, in 319 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,119 the writing process, are absolutely into it. No and there are times you 320 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:14,079 think and say well, this thing I' m writing is bullshit, this 321 00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:15,680 is wrong, this I can' t convey what I want. There are 322 00:25:15,759 --> 00:25:18,839 other times that you' re convinced that you' re going to get the 323 00:25:19,079 --> 00:25:23,480 Nobel Prize in Literature, because you get it tangled up and you say this 324 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,839 is the best thing that' s ever been my God. But it' 325 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,720 s really horrible. You know, it' s kind of like I don 326 00:25:30,799 --> 00:25:36,279 ' t want to rewrite a book anymore, and then in the end you 327 00:25:36,279 --> 00:25:37,359 say, and what idea do I have now for the third. But it 328 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:41,039 was the first time I' ve ever taken a little awareness of worth it 329 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,200 must be okay, because it' s really impacting them. I don' 330 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,839 t remember. Another father who comes and tells me is that my son has 331 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:52,920 an incredible consumption of joints and the chapter of the two draughts that is written 332 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,200 in another way, has impacted me a lot and I, at one point, 333 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,000 doubted a bit about that chapter. You know, I didn' t 334 00:25:59,039 --> 00:26:03,079 know without getting him in, not getting him in, and just because I 335 00:26:03,079 --> 00:26:07,720 had others. But in the end, the beauty within all these themes is 336 00:26:07,759 --> 00:26:14,680 that each family is connected to one of the chapters, then enjoy the others, 337 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:15,720 but connect it. Ah look and I' ll tell you something else. 338 00:26:15,799 --> 00:26:27,200 Tremendous story. Unfortunately I have unfortunately worked a lot on gender- based 339 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:33,880 violence. They also do not run penitentiary institutions. I was a co- 340 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:40,720 therapist of groups with adult aggressors and I have also taken many young girls to 341 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:45,920 juvenile courts, that the trajectories were seen in rather important levels of dependence, 342 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:52,759 of dynamics of violence in the couple, pregnancies that you see will occur and 343 00:26:52,759 --> 00:26:56,559 that you work. And it is a brutal desolation to see the pregnancy finding 344 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:02,039 and to see the process this pain. And yet I have the misfortune now 345 00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:08,039 that I know people who are affected by gender- based violence, women victims 346 00:27:08,079 --> 00:27:15,039 of this atrocious issue and I think I get quite naked in the technical analysis 347 00:27:15,079 --> 00:27:18,880 of this. It' s the worst face we have today in our society. 348 00:27:21,319 --> 00:27:26,279 And then, however, leaving him the book and reading it the victim 349 00:27:26,319 --> 00:27:30,200 of gender- based violence, look closely and tell me I loved the book. 350 00:27:30,319 --> 00:27:33,960 I didn' t like the case of gender- based violence. Why, 351 00:27:33,279 --> 00:27:37,079 then, because it' s not enough like what happens to us, 352 00:27:37,759 --> 00:27:45,119 I mean, it seems more lighth You even know and this means that there 353 00:27:45,519 --> 00:27:47,920 have been families who haven' t been able to read it the chapter. 354 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,559 If you remember correctly, start with a direct assault. We' re not 355 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:57,519 going to do spoilers, but it starts from boom directly and everything that happens 356 00:27:57,519 --> 00:27:59,920 next and there are families who haven' t been able to read it. 357 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,960 And yet, there' s a victim of gender- based violence who told 358 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:10,359 me a jolen It' s much lower than what we live in. Therefore, 359 00:28:10,599 --> 00:28:14,240 it is a book that removes enough for good or bad your reading. 360 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:21,440 Which one' s nice I look good to you, well, I' 361 00:28:21,839 --> 00:28:22,920 ve got a lot of readings, because every chapter. Besides, every story, 362 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:29,640 every situation you take us to, opens different scenarios that I as a 363 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:37,119 mother, we could consider it as putting ourselves in the worst of many things 364 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:44,200 that can happen so that the audience understands us. You bring us some stories 365 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:51,240 in which many of our worst fears as fathers and mothers are pushed to the 366 00:28:51,319 --> 00:29:00,480 limit. Not then already facing that like that, there are many readings there 367 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:07,000 when. But I want you, apart from my readings, to incentivize the 368 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:15,279 interest and curiosity of our audience. And why a family with children, with 369 00:29:15,599 --> 00:29:19,480 normal normal situations, good day to day, that can have everything, but 370 00:29:19,559 --> 00:29:25,599 that does not come up at all. So so limit let' s call 371 00:29:25,599 --> 00:29:33,279 it. You should read this book and get into stories that you might hear 372 00:29:33,319 --> 00:29:38,119 are listening to us and you' re going to look at. No, 373 00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:41,119 I don' t need to. I don' t want to be scared 374 00:29:41,119 --> 00:29:45,920 that I want to sleep well at night. Why do you think that or 375 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:51,680 because your children are two years old and are now there at a stage that 376 00:29:51,799 --> 00:29:55,559 doesn' t even come up with everything you' re telling us. Pregnancy, 377 00:29:55,640 --> 00:30:02,640 unwanted, addictions, gender- based violence. Well, then we' 378 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:07,119 ll go on with more things than but situations that already get us into the 379 00:30:07,119 --> 00:30:11,200 worst. Why good, because they have to read a book before they give 380 00:30:11,279 --> 00:30:14,640 us the Nobel Prize in Literature, not and have read the play before they 381 00:30:15,359 --> 00:30:23,160 see it. Well, most of the families in the book at first were 382 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:29,559 normal families. And this is a very important key, that is, your 383 00:30:30,079 --> 00:30:37,359 neighbor downstairs may be living in a situation exactly like the start of some of 384 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:42,200 these families. The family of the case one was a family and, moreover, 385 00:30:42,319 --> 00:30:51,119 in fact very well with working standards and very well life. Then it 386 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:56,640 takes you to other places, the family of gender- based violence. I 387 00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:02,960 have endeavoured, to portray very well that it is an absolutely non- standard 388 00:31:03,039 --> 00:31:07,440 family in which, as a good colleague and reference of my work recently, 389 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:14,119 Alejandro tells me, to educate alone is not enough. Then there are many 390 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:18,000 external factors. You' ve done everything internal in education and, of course, 391 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,720 you' ve helped build strategies so that your children will then face the 392 00:31:21,759 --> 00:31:26,200 outside ones. Don' t see a devil coming who' s like I 393 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,720 call the aggressor here. The devil comes to your daughter and crosses your daughter 394 00:31:29,799 --> 00:31:38,920 and only with past education is not enough. There is that I think that 395 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,200 being able to see the end of the road, of one of the paths, 396 00:31:42,799 --> 00:31:47,200 there is a lot of learning to know that along that path not if 397 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:52,039 we are going to see gender violence, to be able to extract the learning 398 00:31:52,039 --> 00:31:55,559 of Eye that is not going to happen to us this, but it can 399 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,599 get there and it is not a invented case, it is not a sensationalistic 400 00:31:57,599 --> 00:32:00,640 case of TV. Watch out that without my son, he' s starting 401 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:06,880 to use toxic substances. Look that you can end up there, I can 402 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,200 ' t shit at the moment of these issues. Notice that, if that 403 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:15,279 is to say, in each one at the bottom of the book, what 404 00:32:15,359 --> 00:32:20,559 it tries to convey beyond the entertainment it produces and the passion it produces and 405 00:32:20,599 --> 00:32:22,720 everything that removes you emotionally. For me, that' s already an achievement. 406 00:32:23,079 --> 00:32:25,920 I mean, if the reading has removed you a little emotionally and it 407 00:32:27,039 --> 00:32:29,799 hasn' t been a good book, then I' ve read it very 408 00:32:29,799 --> 00:32:32,240 well. The pirates are coming to rob this or they' re on the 409 00:32:32,319 --> 00:32:35,599 ship, they' re taking the princess booty. I don' t know 410 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,400 what, I don' t know how many if it' s a book 411 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:42,079 that has removed you and that you in ten years' time see it and 412 00:32:42,279 --> 00:32:43,440 say, how it happens to me Sometimes, this one I like and I 413 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,920 don' t remember. But I liked this one, I liked this book, 414 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,640 I don' t remember. What a story. That' s it, 415 00:32:47,839 --> 00:32:52,240 that' s it. It' s an honor to me, and 416 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,920 it' s priceless. But if you can also build prevention, knowing what 417 00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,240 you can go to, then today is fine. I have not tried to 418 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,880 do what, which is a very valid strategy of the DGT, the General 419 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:07,519 Directorate of Traffic, putting us into hyper- impact images. I didn' 420 00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:10,359 t want to impact so much because, as I say, I didn' 421 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,480 t want to bring the blood, although there has been. But the idea 422 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:20,880 is this is one that strikes you to be able to do prevention, so 423 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:25,559 that when your daughter tomorrow brings you this boy and you your mother' s 424 00:33:25,599 --> 00:33:30,880 instinct, you know, you say, because you can build your strategy and 425 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:36,039 not look the other way, well, this they say on TV but to 426 00:33:36,079 --> 00:33:39,319 us not good, because it can happen to us. It is that, 427 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:46,680 moreover, as you address such diverse topics because I am remembering, all the 428 00:33:46,759 --> 00:33:52,440 stories have something special, but I am remembering, for example, the story 429 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,960 of Román. It seems to me that you have said that it was called 430 00:33:54,960 --> 00:34:02,599 the subject of adoption, things that, for example, are not spoken openly 431 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:09,039 too much is not a topic that is usually considered to the best topic of 432 00:34:09,079 --> 00:34:17,320 adolescence, so it is speaking quite more, fortunately, but there are issues 433 00:34:17,559 --> 00:34:24,000 that are not talked about, and it is, for example, when adoption 434 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:34,159 involves situations that are not the usual or the ones that were expected. And 435 00:34:34,159 --> 00:34:36,559 I don' t know how you came up with it, for example, 436 00:34:36,679 --> 00:34:38,320 when you approached that which is also very peculiar. That story has even a 437 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:45,800 certain touch of how your mystery story, not how you put it. That 438 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:51,840 part of him telling you or telling you he' s gonna tell you he 439 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:54,559 doesn' t want you to interrupt him. It is posed in a way 440 00:34:54,599 --> 00:35:00,320 that already intrigues you, Already intrigues you, but as you go reading it 441 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:04,360 gives you a feeling of then also of uneasiness and of uy This does not 442 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,360 go well? This isn' t going well? This isn' t going 443 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,519 well? And the stories, I don' t want to make spoilers of 444 00:35:09,599 --> 00:35:14,760 any endings, but how do we assume that there are stories that don' 445 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:21,880 t go well. That' s life. Not suddenly you' re a 446 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:27,119 teenager and suddenly your father dies. That' s not it. That doesn 447 00:35:27,199 --> 00:35:29,599 ' t have to happen. He' s not playing. What he touches 448 00:35:29,639 --> 00:35:31,880 is that he dies. I don' t know when you' re sixty 449 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,000 or fifty. It doesn' t touch his death. It doesn' t 450 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:39,000 touch a child dying. Or it doesn' t touch that an adoption you 451 00:35:39,039 --> 00:35:45,239 do with or that in this case they did with all the passion and love, 452 00:35:45,639 --> 00:35:49,480 because it ends as best. It ends well, uh, maybe. 453 00:35:49,519 --> 00:35:53,519 The reading is even very positive. That case depends on the prism from which 454 00:35:53,519 --> 00:36:00,000 one looks, but life is not always. Today I go very philosophical, 455 00:36:00,119 --> 00:36:05,320 but life is not always winning. Sometimes you lose me the free optimism and 456 00:36:05,679 --> 00:36:08,000 come on, come on, go on, go on, yeah, well. 457 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,360 There are times when I don' t. No. There are times 458 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:14,280 when I don' t. There are times when families are torn apart. 459 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:21,159 There are times when there are families that success lies in simply being able to 460 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:27,320 live together, not in embracing us I wake you up with a love you 461 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,800 and with a pink donux every morning. There are no families in which success 462 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:36,480 is to have been able to survive among them to continue living and, well, 463 00:36:37,039 --> 00:36:37,960 to be able to continue. Looking at the roman case, I didn 464 00:36:38,039 --> 00:36:42,360 ' t expect it, but Romana' s case draws attention to the way 465 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,880 you' re described. I' ll tell you two anecdotes. One day 466 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:52,320 I had to do a prom interview and I literally tell you here here, 467 00:36:52,559 --> 00:36:57,159 you and me, and suddenly it didn' t come. I have interviews 468 00:36:57,159 --> 00:37:01,679 to tell me I don' t arrive and then I say I don' 469 00:37:01,679 --> 00:37:05,159 t stop the car and I do the interview recorded in the car. Then 470 00:37:05,199 --> 00:37:08,000 the reporter just watch me don' t put out on screen and you can 471 00:37:08,119 --> 00:37:10,119 be here, or you can be in the car. And in the car 472 00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:15,000 the first thing that starts laughing and I looked at her and I said Holin, 473 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,760 I' m sorry if I already know it' s the car and 474 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,559 she says no it' s not that that' s where you already called 475 00:37:21,559 --> 00:37:23,599 Rebo to Román. No, because the chapter starts like this. No and 476 00:37:23,639 --> 00:37:27,840 I say Mother, or it will be that and then in the presentation, 477 00:37:29,159 --> 00:37:30,920 if anyone reads it, they will understand it. Because I say this, 478 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:35,000 because the chapter starts with a phone call and in the presentation there was someone 479 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,519 in the presentation who took my microphone and asked me Alejandro everything very well. 480 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:43,199 I want to know if he' s here among us. Román said that 481 00:37:43,199 --> 00:37:47,039 and in the presentation and I have followed a little bit this part of a 482 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:52,320 lot of respect in confidence and say a no, I answer it. There 483 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:58,599 was a game there, a tension game because well, when you read the 484 00:37:58,639 --> 00:38:00,039 chapter, you also know, you know, because I mean all this, 485 00:38:00,599 --> 00:38:09,639 because I keep so much confidentiality and mystery in this case. Yes, yes, 486 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:15,039 we have to leave them eagerly to our readers, our readers, because 487 00:38:15,199 --> 00:38:19,599 it really is worth it, but it really impacts a lot by the way 488 00:38:19,639 --> 00:38:24,639 the facts arise that also fascinates me, because surely, that is, it 489 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:30,639 will be, but it seems that you have invented it you know is like 490 00:38:30,679 --> 00:38:36,000 me so much life will be action. I don' t tell you things, 491 00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:38,320 I mean, all cases are real cases. I' m not going 492 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:45,079 to swindle anyone there. What happens is they' re like they' re 493 00:38:45,159 --> 00:38:51,239 made up to protect and to do a pleasant reading. And so it' 494 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:55,000 s like I' m telling the case of Monica, Monica, because maybe 495 00:38:55,079 --> 00:38:59,679 I' m talking about a monic, because she doesn' t wear glasses 496 00:38:59,679 --> 00:39:01,320 and she has seven children. You read yourself and you know that you wear 497 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:05,320 glasses and that you don' t have seven children. But when you read 498 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:10,440 yourself you say but it' s me, I mean, it' s 499 00:39:10,519 --> 00:39:12,320 me, you know, and then it goes a little along that line. 500 00:39:13,159 --> 00:39:15,840 And Roman' s case is an adoption case. It' s a real 501 00:39:17,199 --> 00:39:21,960 case, it' s a case you change men, of course, it 502 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:28,400 ' s a case where, when you read it it was me, but 503 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,800 there are also small things that are mixtures of other cases. I take or 504 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:37,119 in some case the mother, because she' s not exactly that mother and 505 00:39:37,159 --> 00:39:37,679 she' s another mother I' ve had in the case of Román. 506 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:44,679 The dynamics of John' s situation in my office have happened quite a few 507 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:49,519 times and I don' t know what I' m going to receive and 508 00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,119 strange and much more bizarre things to say, but this is happening to me 509 00:39:52,559 --> 00:39:55,519 here, where the House is, which is recording this situation to me, 510 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,920 which I am listening to this man, but he doesn' t want anything 511 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,039 else. But what do I do? I' ll take the money thanks 512 00:40:02,079 --> 00:40:06,760 to God and how I take my house and say hello how about the affection 513 00:40:07,119 --> 00:40:12,079 hello girls, not well, I did, it was a case to put 514 00:40:12,119 --> 00:40:15,679 it, not to what deserves the dinner and what happens, that it is 515 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:21,559 also true that it leaves wanting more. I' m also telling you because 516 00:40:21,599 --> 00:40:27,079 I really do, especially because it' s an issue that is rarely discussed 517 00:40:27,159 --> 00:40:35,639 in the world of adoption. Perhaps because it also linked a little to the 518 00:40:35,679 --> 00:40:40,239 other issues of situations. It' s hard to talk about what doesn' 519 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,719 t go well and what happened so it doesn' t go well. It 520 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:49,760 ' s not easy to blame the rest of them. But in a family 521 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:55,079 situation in which there are obviously more factors, but that there is an adoption, 522 00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,440 it does not go as you thought it had to go or within the 523 00:41:00,559 --> 00:41:04,000 parameters that we have accepted as normal. Or what' s good. It 524 00:41:04,039 --> 00:41:07,159 ' s very difficult to assume. As a society, as fathers, as 525 00:41:07,159 --> 00:41:13,320 mothers, no one comments on it in a then clear way. It doesn 526 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,199 ' t take much to talk about it, and the adoption issue just caught 527 00:41:16,199 --> 00:41:22,079 my attention, because it' s something we need to talk about and it 528 00:41:22,079 --> 00:41:25,360 ' s not going on yet. It' s pretty hidden. Doping is 529 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:30,079 very difficult technically to deal with in a professional way. I think it' 530 00:41:30,119 --> 00:41:35,440 s the hardest thing to do. I' ve never wanted to approach adoption. 531 00:41:35,679 --> 00:41:37,960 I' ve always had the adoption. I do, the underage player. 532 00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,599 You choose which cases you' re carrying. They don' t come 533 00:41:40,639 --> 00:41:47,360 to you in cases they give them to you according to the profile that you 534 00:41:49,079 --> 00:41:52,000 are your bosses come, Alejandro these and they give you the cases to. 535 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,119 I don' t know that you have something very traumatic, but the reality 536 00:41:54,159 --> 00:41:58,960 is that you' re choosing per accepting the cases they give you in the 537 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:04,400 intervention. Yes, you can do it in private office, but the reality 538 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:12,079 is that I have never looked for it because it is very difficult and because 539 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:17,880 there is a very deep psychological component and that almost always my work in cases 540 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:23,079 of adoptions at the end bring them to hand therapy, because they have a 541 00:42:23,119 --> 00:42:28,559 very very complex bonding process, some attachment disorders often quite difficult, and this 542 00:42:28,639 --> 00:42:32,400 should be exclusive territory of the clinical part of the psychologist. It is true 543 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:36,960 that I only see bad adoption cases, because I do what I do. 544 00:42:37,599 --> 00:42:40,039 Then nobody comes to say hello to me Alejandro, we come to see you, 545 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:45,079 because our family is wonderful. This does not happen then I inside the 546 00:42:45,119 --> 00:42:49,599 gaus bell if we had there. I see the small curve below is the 547 00:42:49,599 --> 00:42:54,280 limit. That' s why, every time I see foster families and they 548 00:42:54,639 --> 00:42:58,199 have kids in adoption and they' re doing well, I' m sorry 549 00:42:58,199 --> 00:43:00,719 a lot. I apologize for them, but I go as in a research 550 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:06,079 team and then what you do And all right, and then I dive into 551 00:43:06,159 --> 00:43:14,920 understanding and there are amazing adoption processes and with some levels. Also, in 552 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,119 fact, notice that I' m remembering two people I work with now, 553 00:43:16,519 --> 00:43:22,599 who are foster mothers and who are wonderful. And besides, you see, 554 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,599 you don' t need to see it, you see it, you see 555 00:43:25,599 --> 00:43:29,480 it. But the cases that I have led to doubling have always been very 556 00:43:29,519 --> 00:43:36,079 limited, very limited and very difficult. And to the professional extremely limit. 557 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,960 I' ll tell you one quick thing or one time a kid that I 558 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,679 ' m working on the juvenile game. Then I stood by this which I 559 00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:47,199 explain of self- fulfilling prophecy, that they pursue doing it wrong so that 560 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:52,400 you end up abandoning him and in that way he can confirm that I am 561 00:43:52,519 --> 00:43:57,440 worthless because they abandoned me when I was born. Then they do it wrong, 562 00:43:57,639 --> 00:44:00,480 wrong, bad, bad for you to end up telling him so far 563 00:44:00,519 --> 00:44:04,159 you stay. Then I remember a case that is in some way also there, 564 00:44:04,199 --> 00:44:07,920 put in this case of Román, that I already stopped, I tried 565 00:44:08,039 --> 00:44:12,480 myself and told Mira I' ll tell you something. Whatever you do. 566 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,000 I' m not going to modify your training measure, that is, I 567 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,960 ' m not going to ask the prosecutor to intern you while the other one 568 00:44:20,039 --> 00:44:22,440 looked at me was Antithetically, all the kids in the court measures come so 569 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,760 you don' t interfere with them, so that you don' t mean 570 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,360 them, so that you approve them in quotation marks and I told this one 571 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:30,800 a do as bad as you want, that I' m not going to 572 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:31,679 do it in any way. It was a me I' m not leaving 573 00:44:31,679 --> 00:44:36,519 you. You' re playing hook- up and whatever you want, I 574 00:44:36,599 --> 00:44:40,159 mean, hit me if you want. And that brought about a change without 575 00:44:40,199 --> 00:44:45,360 me knowing it, but it was very impulsive, a change in this boy, 576 00:44:45,519 --> 00:44:51,360 very radical, of look, of positioning, of I no longer know 577 00:44:52,079 --> 00:44:54,000 how I do with you, if I do all the bad that I can 578 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:59,679 and do not internalize. And that intervention that day gave me a click. 579 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:06,159 It is very important, but adoption is very difficult and at the same time 580 00:45:06,199 --> 00:45:13,119 very precious. As you were talking, I was thinking that this book, 581 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:19,840 apart from attracting very diverse stories, tells us a lot about you as a 582 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:24,800 professional. A lot. It is true that in the previous account you also 583 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:32,079 talk about your work, but this one in a way that could go unnoticed 584 00:45:32,159 --> 00:45:36,559 because the stories are shocking, but it is not. In fact, it 585 00:45:36,599 --> 00:45:39,760 ' s a very direct approach to your work and everything you have to do. 586 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:47,239 I don' t know how you handled that question, because it seems 587 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:54,199 to me that you' re talking about teenagers, but you talk a lot 588 00:45:54,199 --> 00:46:01,119 about how you work with teenagers. It' s been super difficult, mónica, 589 00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:07,159 pretty difficult. Well, I' ve taken a lot away because I 590 00:46:07,199 --> 00:46:09,400 think sometimes I was getting into issues that it' s not so much about 591 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:13,159 talking about me but about them. But then there have been other times that 592 00:46:13,159 --> 00:46:16,920 I' ve already said, but I need to be honest. Then all 593 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:21,480 of a sudden, you reread things. Writing this book is a long process 594 00:46:22,039 --> 00:46:27,599 and then, at two months you revisit the technical part of the one and 595 00:46:27,599 --> 00:46:29,800 I read and say, but I say as I say that when I get 596 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,519 home and my daughter tells me I have a wound and I come to the 597 00:46:32,519 --> 00:46:37,159 nose of having heard brutal aggressions. No, like I say this, but 598 00:46:37,159 --> 00:46:39,800 it' s reality. No, and then nothing has cost me a lot, 599 00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:45,199 really. But, on the other hand, then it has been very 600 00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:50,440 rewarding in things like this one of yours not that you say now or some 601 00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,920 families of mine in office that of course have read it and come and say 602 00:46:54,960 --> 00:47:00,440 that it is you, that it is all, not everything, and indeed, 603 00:47:00,639 --> 00:47:07,599 nothing like I say look at me I love music as a young and 604 00:47:07,599 --> 00:47:07,599 as a teenager and I have rocking spirits. I still loved rock and roll, 605 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:12,320 you know, and when a band made a brutal first record, everybody 606 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,679 had a hard time doing a second. I, in my case, didn 607 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:20,199 ' t do a brutal first, but I knew that I wasn' t 608 00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,679 going to replicate my first book and that I wanted to dare and that if 609 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:28,000 life had given me the opportunity to write a book, you know, you 610 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:32,519 write a book in your house, on your computer, you send it and 611 00:47:32,519 --> 00:47:34,840 then it appears in the mall. There, put, this is a step 612 00:47:35,159 --> 00:47:38,199 and then I said good maybe. Never again, I write more books, 613 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:42,960 because it can happen. So I' m gonna stay calm and comfortable and 614 00:47:43,039 --> 00:47:45,239 I' m gonna do something. I haven' t had any pressure from 615 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:49,239 the publishing house in any way, I mean, I haven' t been 616 00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:51,039 vetoed at all. There hasn' t been a paragraph I' ve been 617 00:47:51,039 --> 00:47:53,599 told. This is very heavy, Alejandro, because the book, in fact, 618 00:47:53,599 --> 00:47:58,239 starts with a phrase that already says fuck. There' s a swear 619 00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,039 in the first one, in the first line of books you know and I 620 00:48:01,119 --> 00:48:06,199 said well this I' m going to want it back and then I' 621 00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:07,920 m super happy and comfortable. I think the word is like the taste of 622 00:48:07,039 --> 00:48:10,559 it, so there it goes and, on the other hand, with fear. 623 00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:14,280 With fear because I get a little undressed Sometimes effectively, what I do 624 00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:20,400 in intervention or how I get wet sometimes in what happens to me, because 625 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,519 there is a part that I tell that I' m actually in interview sometimes 626 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:30,599 and I pass thoughts around here that I can' t take them off and 627 00:48:30,599 --> 00:48:32,440 that there they come. I' ve even been told sometimes, because I 628 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:37,000 ' m honest, with you and there are times I' m here with 629 00:48:37,039 --> 00:48:39,639 you, we' re not here now You and I are talking and suddenly 630 00:48:39,639 --> 00:48:43,679 you get crossed and I, maybe, have a catastrophic situation and I remember 631 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:47,800 that I haven' t bought toilet paper God and Monica didn' t take 632 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:53,400 the toilet paper out of my head and maybe I' m working with Román. 633 00:48:53,519 --> 00:48:59,559 No, but nothing good, because this is true. It' s 634 00:48:59,599 --> 00:49:04,719 honest, that' s it and it might be fatal or not, I 635 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:05,480 don' t know, but there it is. It' s true. 636 00:49:05,599 --> 00:49:07,639 I didn' t remember it was so sweet of me. A lot, 637 00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:13,360 it' s true and it' s true that it' s not the 638 00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:17,599 first thing you think about when you read it, uh, because it' 639 00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,239 s true that because stories are so powerful, all the messages, the tips 640 00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:22,400 you give. But it is true that there is the background. That' 641 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:27,280 s me working. It' s me at the office. This is what 642 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:32,800 happens and helps the reader put us in your skin in a way, of 643 00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:37,880 course, very well. So I' m not behind the pages of the 644 00:49:38,039 --> 00:49:43,480 book that, obviously, bring us a little closer to what it can be, 645 00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:50,199 to what you can get to see and to see how difficult your work 646 00:49:50,199 --> 00:49:55,480 is. Not really, but it' s true that you don' t 647 00:49:55,480 --> 00:50:01,480 have a very empathetic look, very tender, that gives us hope, because 648 00:50:01,639 --> 00:50:09,039 it could be a look that well, then I' m the fucking master 649 00:50:09,079 --> 00:50:12,119 pardon, but all these people I' ve saved. And it is not 650 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:16,360 a book of the Saviour Alexander who has brought all these people out of misery, 651 00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:22,760 but this is what has happened, what can happen, what could have 652 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,559 happened or what has not happened or what and I put it here and you 653 00:50:25,679 --> 00:50:31,800 draw your conclusions. I give you my thoughts on subjects that are of course 654 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:36,079 of interest to us. Education, on gender- based violence, on prevention. 655 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:43,920 There' s a lot of prevention, lots of tips on where to 656 00:50:44,599 --> 00:50:46,800 look, where to put a little eye. But there is also a lot 657 00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:52,800 of humor. I' m even thinking about one of my favorites is the 658 00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:57,599 conversation of teenagers in the friends' bank. Really, really? Yeah? 659 00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,360 Yeah? In the booth yes? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? 660 00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,519 Yeah? Yeah? It' s one of the ones I liked most, 661 00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:10,039 precisely because of the weight of those powerful messages, that it costs a little 662 00:51:10,039 --> 00:51:15,519 at first. That' s four kids. In addition, so posed in 663 00:51:15,599 --> 00:51:22,880 a half theater way, so with dialogues, and I liked it very much. 664 00:51:22,039 --> 00:51:25,679 I liked it a lot and it has an important weight the message and 665 00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:30,599 at the same time it has a load of is relaxed. Break the most 666 00:51:30,679 --> 00:51:37,480 dramatic part a little, but leave you there too. I threw it at 667 00:51:37,559 --> 00:51:40,840 the dukes and you eat it straight. Look at this thing you just said. 668 00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:44,119 It' s fair, smooth, exact. That one and you take 669 00:51:44,119 --> 00:51:46,960 it. No, it' s yours. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? 670 00:51:47,079 --> 00:51:50,719 Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Wow, I love this thing you said. 671 00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,800 Then it' s all right. Well done, got the one- day 672 00:51:53,880 --> 00:52:00,599 object. Look at working a lot technically on cases. What happens in the 673 00:52:00,639 --> 00:52:05,880 workers who do case analysis is that you go expose a case and then the 674 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:09,960 worker always counts the strengths of skills where in finta and I always saw a 675 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:15,599 lot of self hype in the analysis of the case. So what I did 676 00:52:15,639 --> 00:52:17,800 is clear, I transmitted in a referral to mental health and there we saw 677 00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:22,360 that psychopathology was and then I pauté and I don' t know what, 678 00:52:22,679 --> 00:52:25,079 and I always separated that a little bit like reality, that' s not 679 00:52:25,079 --> 00:52:29,360 to say it' s okay. But in this precisely while I wrote it, 680 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,440 talking to some colleague, you' re going to do technical analysis of 681 00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:36,039 the cases. No, and then I said no, man, I can 682 00:52:36,039 --> 00:52:37,440 ' t do a technical analysis of the case. And besides, they' 683 00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:39,760 re going to read it, fathers and mothers. No. So nothing. 684 00:52:40,079 --> 00:52:45,760 I was just being honest with me. I think some have been long, 685 00:52:45,559 --> 00:52:50,519 others have been short, others are more technical, others are smoother, but 686 00:52:50,599 --> 00:52:54,960 well, like life itself, no, but the analysis serves to actually see, 687 00:52:55,079 --> 00:53:00,480 that is, that it' s not self- pumping you know or 688 00:53:00,519 --> 00:53:02,159 precisely if you realize that that' s why it leaves the book a little 689 00:53:02,159 --> 00:53:08,800 so removed. There' s no case of flowers at the end and amazing 690 00:53:09,519 --> 00:53:13,880 kisses, because I' m trying to try. On the other hand, 691 00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:16,800 listen to the one in the booth. You let me tell you something. 692 00:53:17,639 --> 00:53:21,280 The one in the booth. The one in the booth is a tribute to 693 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:25,239 my three friends of the soul and it' s the four of us on 694 00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:30,119 some park benches. And the real message, beyond all the technical content of 695 00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:36,280 other things, the real message, at one point is yes, they are 696 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:40,840 cafres, but there are times when they don' t have such stupid conversations. 697 00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:46,480 I mean, there are times when those four you see there can even 698 00:53:46,519 --> 00:53:50,639 have conversations. I don' t understand what the fuck you' re saying. 699 00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:58,039 No forgiveness for swearing, but of oysters, even they themselves understand us 700 00:53:58,079 --> 00:54:04,159 some of them. But what do you say, man, and there' 701 00:54:05,039 --> 00:54:06,800 s something else there, and I' m gonna put it as spoiler. 702 00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:08,880 This time I do, because I feel like it and I am with you 703 00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:20,360 here and in my book it is one of the chapters that most project if 704 00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:24,480 you pay attention to admiration to parents. I mean, there' s a 705 00:54:24,519 --> 00:54:30,199 point where you can see the admiration of the father. And I say that 706 00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:35,760 sometimes I' m a miracle witness because in session and it' s a 707 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:39,400 shame that it' s not recorded, you know, obviously, but it 708 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:45,159 ' s a guy when, suddenly, after all he has with the parents, 709 00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:50,880 he doesn' t and he picks up and defends him And yes, 710 00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:54,920 but my father and then you say oysters here, yes, there' s 711 00:54:55,039 --> 00:55:00,360 no, and when this on top, it happens in session with the father 712 00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:01,880 next door, well you' re a mother. I am the father of 713 00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:07,800 two girls and I with all the hard work I am and the extreme cases 714 00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:12,360 I see then my little girl who is two years old, now I don 715 00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,199 ' t have one that she has in a moment of recording this podcast. 716 00:55:15,639 --> 00:55:19,239 One is nine years old and has two. The two look at me when 717 00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:22,840 I swing and smile at me and it' s all gone, you know, 718 00:55:22,199 --> 00:55:28,679 I' m dead, I mean, it breaks me whole and the 719 00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,199 older one looks at me out of the cabbage and tells me I don' 720 00:55:30,199 --> 00:55:34,079 t know what. And it just breaks me. So when a father lives, 721 00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:40,840 it' s an office. Nothing is super magical and I think it 722 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:49,559 ' s one of the moments, i e, you get your heart hooked, 723 00:55:49,639 --> 00:55:53,880 i e, there' s one of the phrases one of the guys 724 00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:59,599 says when he tells the other he' s complaining about one of them from 725 00:55:59,639 --> 00:56:00,920 his mother and the other or his father. I don' t remember so 726 00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:01,960 much, but I think it was from the mother and then one of them 727 00:56:02,519 --> 00:56:08,480 tells her already, but your mother is there. And that, that' 728 00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:12,559 s for me, that' s one of the more things and that' 729 00:56:12,639 --> 00:56:20,239 s also in the first book Jode that we also talk about that presence of 730 00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:27,079 parents, that many times we get very upset because we want to do it 731 00:56:27,119 --> 00:56:34,559 right, we want to get to everything, we want not to do it 732 00:56:34,599 --> 00:56:38,400 too bad and it' s not to be that you say it on many 733 00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:43,599 occasions, but in that sentence, that dialogue, it makes it very clear 734 00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:49,000 and it' s so hard, so beautiful at the same time you said 735 00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:53,360 it well, so hard and so beautiful the time you look at many times 736 00:56:53,440 --> 00:57:01,400 how much this is something that I talk about the most magical moments are when 737 00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:06,920 in office you and a son of yours that you carry with me, with 738 00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:06,920 any of my companions, from the courthouse or any professional that sells families. 739 00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,760 No, in this case it' s me because I see it and all 740 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:15,719 of a sudden I' ll get rid of some really bizarre questions that you 741 00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:15,280 say, but it' s not like I' m a daughter. I 742 00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:20,000 can' t do this to myself, you can' t steal from me, 743 00:57:20,519 --> 00:57:23,440 you can' t assault me, you can' t touch me in 744 00:57:23,519 --> 00:57:27,800 places where you know it hurts me more. And yet, months later he 745 00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:34,360 sits down and looks at me Alejandro with you in front of me and he 746 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,239 tells me he looks at me with all the bad things that I did to 747 00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:44,320 him at the point of her, because, in fact, going away, 748 00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:51,039 you know horrible and she never abandoned me is always there. It' s 749 00:57:51,079 --> 00:57:54,960 when they say it, because they say it about the soul, and when 750 00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:58,920 the mother can' t hold it, that is, you tell that to 751 00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:06,840 your son, and you break because you actually get the sense of how clear 752 00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:13,039 I wasn' t going to be, even if you did that to me, 753 00:58:13,239 --> 00:58:14,320 but how I' m not going to be here with you. And 754 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,960 that is profoundly healing for the child and the mother. For the mother, 755 00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,840 those who do not have a good prognosis are those who have no one who 756 00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:30,000 is with them, they do not have a wound and they do have violent 757 00:58:30,079 --> 00:58:32,679 or aggressive behaviors. From another point, from the point of I' m 758 00:58:32,679 --> 00:58:37,280 broken. I' m not having a hard time. It' s a 759 00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:40,239 horrible phase. I don' t understand myself with my parents. I' 760 00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:45,679 m not doing well. It' s not broken. No, and that 761 00:58:45,719 --> 00:58:52,119 reads a lot too. It looks but indeed very harsh, but a beautiful 762 00:58:52,119 --> 00:59:00,440 one. When a boy says this, he does not hear and accept everything, 763 00:59:00,639 --> 00:59:06,880 he forgives everything in this relationship fathers, sons, mothers, sons, 764 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:16,519 daughters, is all forgiving. I don' t know, I don' 765 00:59:16,519 --> 00:59:20,880 t know, and there are times that it' s even okay, that 766 00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:21,840 it' s not forgivable, I don' t know. There depends a 767 00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,320 lot on each one and I' ve seen the whole truth. I think 768 00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:30,519 against more, I believe what I have seen that with more balanced tra, 769 00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:34,920 there is you, against more worked and worked you have as a person, 770 00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:37,559 as a mother, the more you do not know your weaknesses and your strengths. 771 00:59:37,599 --> 00:59:42,519 When you know and are well, you are able to forgive more. 772 00:59:43,119 --> 00:59:46,840 If I don' t see much of myself, father and mother who at 773 00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:52,480 first gets a lot into revenge unintentionally and there are very dark dynamics, because 774 00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:57,039 the boy assaults, but he attacks almost always in a reactive way, because 775 00:59:57,079 --> 00:59:58,360 he interprets that you like him as a father and then he attacks you. 776 00:59:59,599 --> 01:00:05,559 You have to have a lot of packaging and a lot of self- knowledge 777 01:00:05,679 --> 01:00:07,599 and a lot of knowing to be to understand that dynamic and, therefore, 778 01:00:07,599 --> 01:00:12,880 not to fall into it. Of course you are this viscereality and there are 779 01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:17,679 dynamics that generate non- forgiveness. I don' t know if the word 780 01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:25,360 is forgiveness or understanding it or fitting it in or worth it assimilating or seeing 781 01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:29,519 a higher interest that is it. Let' s go forward or it' 782 01:00:29,519 --> 01:00:34,079 s oblivion. I don' t know what it is. But it is 783 01:00:35,159 --> 01:00:39,360 true that all those who travel and are able to take those steps forward then 784 01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:46,920 have a much healthier reconciliation than in the end we are the parents and if 785 01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:52,639 you project revenge. It' s usually difficult, but they' re very 786 01:00:52,639 --> 01:00:59,079 difficult issues. I' ve dealt with cases Look at a mother, for 787 01:00:59,079 --> 01:01:00,880 example. This is when we' re here so it can be seen that 788 01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:06,199 it' s not cases that come out in the book a little girl who 789 01:01:06,199 --> 01:01:07,920 gives a mother' s finger a whore. It' s your daughter so 790 01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:14,320 fucking a finger. Now you' re not born another finger anymore. Okay, 791 01:01:14,559 --> 01:01:16,280 you' re out of finger for your whole life. And a mother 792 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:22,400 in whom I remember perfectly how she counted, besides how we omitted that, 793 01:01:22,599 --> 01:01:30,119 told the understanding of the moment and the understanding that she also had some accident 794 01:01:30,159 --> 01:01:35,159 and we pulled forward. Of course, I was looking at more. I 795 01:01:35,199 --> 01:01:37,599 remember that I was young, then younger than I am now, but I 796 01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:42,760 looked and said Holy God, I don' t know if I would forgive 797 01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:45,679 being cut off by my fingers you know, I mean, a finger anymore. 798 01:01:46,719 --> 01:01:52,000 And that mother, without wanting another one of the cases that come out 799 01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:55,079 in the book, because we would have stayed only in this not sensationalist part. 800 01:01:55,800 --> 01:02:00,519 But that mother gave a lesson, I mean, but it wasn' 801 01:02:00,519 --> 01:02:04,840 t no, it' s okay, no, it wasn' t a 802 01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:06,880 total understanding and she was dead with her daughter to get her out. Not 803 01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:12,519 without a finger. Not this saying of me would give anything for you, 804 01:02:13,239 --> 01:02:17,119 for somehow forgiveness for humor, is not that. But that mother did give 805 01:02:17,119 --> 01:02:22,639 me a titanic lesson, and there were also other parents who with something lighter, 806 01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:24,920 because the car is scratched and never forgive him to see said take the 807 01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:29,440 car at night, drunk scratch his car and this has been uneasy for many 808 01:02:29,599 --> 01:02:40,840 months. What do you think uff because it leaves me because besides, we 809 01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:49,000 are not prepared, that is, I think it does not enter our mind, 810 01:02:49,559 --> 01:02:52,519 in our possibilities, that that can happen. And I think many times 811 01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:57,480 you don' t talk about it, precisely because where you' re going 812 01:02:57,800 --> 01:03:00,360 to, that is, who you' re going to tell that your son, 813 01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:06,719 daughter, is tea, is mistreating. No, that doesn' t 814 01:03:06,719 --> 01:03:10,639 count. Sure, sure, look, you don' t usually count these 815 01:03:10,639 --> 01:03:14,320 four factors. You don' t count money, sexuality, politics, or 816 01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:20,119 the problem with your children. It' s like four things that we don 817 01:03:20,199 --> 01:03:22,599 ' t tell each other, not because they' re like a lot reserved 818 01:03:22,719 --> 01:03:24,960 for our intimacy, our people, very close, confident. But if there 819 01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:34,039 is a problem with a child, usually because there is still a small stigma 820 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:40,559 of guilt and clear, then well that is to say, however, it 821 01:03:40,679 --> 01:03:43,760 is the number one suffering we have. I remember a father who came to 822 01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:45,679 my sessions and said to me, Mira, Alejandro, I don' t 823 01:03:45,679 --> 01:03:49,480 understand. I, in my company, give an order and the 100 workers 824 01:03:49,519 --> 01:03:53,119 comply. He doesn' t do it at home. My son at work 825 01:03:53,199 --> 01:03:57,840 I give an order a hundred guys, I get it. I get home 826 01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:00,280 and my son doesn' t comply with the order. Well, that face 827 01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:09,400 of yours tells her all the same message. No and it doesn' t 828 01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:12,840 happen to you from your professional perspective and everything you see and what you' 829 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:19,000 ve seen in this book. When they tell you, because a situation we 830 01:04:19,079 --> 01:04:27,239 call normal it is worth understanding me, because with an adolescence it involves movement, 831 01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:34,599 because that looks of contempt situations slashes such normal and perhaps someone in front 832 01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:39,599 of you loose. That' s what I' m looking at. I 833 01:04:39,639 --> 01:04:43,760 can' t handle my son. My daughter' s getting out of hand 834 01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:50,360 like this, and you' re missing that look from my idea. He 835 01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:58,079 traveled you Gaul. That' s nothing. Don' t look look. 836 01:05:00,639 --> 01:05:04,239 I am. I do a job that' s a lot of tension, 837 01:05:06,079 --> 01:05:10,000 you know, a lot of tension, a lot of pain, a lot 838 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:12,119 of explicit violence. I' m really stressed out by the kids. Besides, 839 01:05:12,679 --> 01:05:16,119 it looks like a lie because I swear to you, you look like 840 01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:20,639 the most relaxed person in the world. No, but so good, he 841 01:05:21,119 --> 01:05:28,039 does not, but I mean, I' m relaxed, I' m 842 01:05:28,719 --> 01:05:30,880 alive, but I really like having fun, you know, I' m 843 01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:34,360 very humorous. I' m very young with my daughters. It is not 844 01:05:34,440 --> 01:05:41,280 the typical phrase of games, but I like a lot to be a child 845 01:05:41,599 --> 01:05:45,840 and play and with my friends that I have of adolescence, of those of 846 01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:48,000 the booth, not changed of names and such we are still children. And 847 01:05:48,239 --> 01:05:55,639 then I usually, when I' m already on the street and I see 848 01:05:55,639 --> 01:05:59,480 situations like that, I don' t prefer to hear myself, I mean, 849 01:06:00,159 --> 01:06:00,880 I don' t want to know much, because in the end it 850 01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:02,159 ' s work. She' s not a girl who tells her in line 851 01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:08,320 the other day in the English court under was a wonder, the teenage girl 852 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:12,480 telling her mother very derogatory things and another saying jolie. I want to get 853 01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:14,119 out of here. Well, I want to work harder, I mean, 854 01:06:14,719 --> 01:06:18,800 I don' t want to hear the same thing, I don' t 855 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,159 need air, no, but I had to swallow the tail and in the 856 01:06:21,159 --> 01:06:24,119 end it' s what happened that I loved. I said take macho how 857 01:06:24,199 --> 01:06:28,400 bad professional I am, but made a bad hypothesis suddenly come to the counter 858 01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:31,880 and it was the mother who stole a lot of things. The mother put 859 01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:35,079 the thing in, the blocks and the way she paid with the girl and 860 01:06:35,119 --> 01:06:39,159 they both left and I looked and said if I have much to learn. 861 01:06:40,039 --> 01:06:46,920 Not yet as a professional, but usually not in but no or if some 862 01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:54,039 friendship tells you nothing I like, but I prefer to have fun, no, 863 01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:58,079 and then I already entered my office. I focus and we' re 864 01:06:59,159 --> 01:07:00,039 going to work and it was a key that I want to share with you. 865 01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:05,239 The kids want to have a good time You know in session. This 866 01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:13,199 is something you often say to parents with the song. I can' t 867 01:07:13,199 --> 01:07:18,960 put it now, but I would give to put it in the final program 868 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:23,079 see see it proposed. They want to have fun, they want to be 869 01:07:23,119 --> 01:07:25,880 fine, they want to be relaxed, they want to be in peace and 870 01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:28,159 then they want to work there. What happens is that many come and stress, 871 01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:34,239 challenge you. I' ve got a lot of challenging guys to see 872 01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:36,840 where you' re gonna fall or hold on or not. But in the 873 01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:41,360 end, deep down, what they want is to be okay and when they 874 01:07:41,559 --> 01:07:46,119 ' re okay and when they have fun. I' ve spent so many 875 01:07:46,159 --> 01:07:50,039 minutes of session listening to horrible music. You know this, Punchi puche I 876 01:07:50,039 --> 01:07:56,199 tell them again the washing machine uncle. But in the end they want to 877 01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:59,840 be fine, in a circle of trust, of knowing you don' t 878 01:08:00,079 --> 01:08:01,840 get that way. Let' s see today' s main emotion what it 879 01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:06,920 was. She' s not a mother open up to your house, but 880 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:12,239 it' s a job of a lot of tension and, unfortunately, it 881 01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:15,640 doesn' t happen to you on the streets that lately we see a lot 882 01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:21,840 more kid, the kid, very uncontrollable. There are also other times that 883 01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:26,159 we see beautiful things. Well, as I tell you, I prefer the 884 01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:31,239 one you stole. It was the mother that I loved that. Robbery. 885 01:08:31,279 --> 01:08:34,960 The mother left me with pictures saying take already I was messing with the teenager. 886 01:08:35,359 --> 01:08:39,359 Hey, you imagine the teenagers were saying mom you' re not gonna 887 01:08:39,399 --> 01:08:41,880 steal that, uh, don' t steal and it was the mother at 888 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:45,640 the end that they might have been. It might be that we explain ourselves 889 01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:49,239 a lot in teenagers and it' s not logical. But with this, 890 01:08:49,439 --> 01:08:51,800 for example, with the theme of screens, you will surely come worried families 891 01:08:51,920 --> 01:09:05,279 with screens, screens and bulbs. If the screen is number one of the 892 01:09:05,279 --> 01:09:09,119 problems today in session. We didn' t have this in two thousand five. 893 01:09:09,399 --> 01:09:12,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey the reason you consulted one is three 894 01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:15,119 years old. I can' t take his cell phone because he' s 895 01:09:15,119 --> 01:09:17,279 getting up. Let' s remember that my cases are more serious, but 896 01:09:17,279 --> 01:09:21,960 he gets up. And he tells me to take it off, you take 897 01:09:21,960 --> 01:09:27,960 it off, and then the father tells you I can' t, that 898 01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:31,399 ' s because taking it off is going to be fighting him, struggling with 899 01:09:31,399 --> 01:09:33,000 him and struggling with your 13- year- old son. Watch out he 900 01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,479 doesn' t have two anymore. No, and what it does to you 901 01:09:35,520 --> 01:09:39,079 as a father, to go down into the sand, to remove it, 902 01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:42,640 to try to take away your son by force. It' s not that 903 01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:46,000 it' s a dissociation. Pissicles call you dissociating. No, on the 904 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,640 one hand, it' s what I want most in my life and, 905 01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:51,119 on the other hand, to use force to take something away from you, 906 01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:58,119 because be good if the screens are being the most horrible today. But if 907 01:09:58,199 --> 01:10:00,279 you give me thirty seconds to count on a new one so incredible that it 908 01:10:00,319 --> 01:10:02,920 has nothing to do with screens, but yes, in the reference there was 909 01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:08,199 a girl in court. I' ll remember every time he came with wine 910 01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:10,600 with Grandma in the player. I laugh because it' s funny. Hey, 911 01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:15,880 please, I can give good grandma. You' ll see, let 912 01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:17,720 ' s see, you' ll see, I' ll get the girl. 913 01:10:18,279 --> 01:10:20,399 Will you see? You' ll see and I' ll get the 914 01:10:20,399 --> 01:10:23,439 girl with Grandma. I didn' t already know them. I was working 915 01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:26,560 to be clear so that you can see that, like everyone else, there 916 01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:30,640 are cases at last and this little girl the grandmother came fatally and the girl 917 01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:34,399 didn' t even with her eyes full of blood very continous judgmental rope to 918 01:10:34,399 --> 01:10:40,159 sit by. She had been working with them for a while and then the 919 01:10:40,159 --> 01:10:43,319 little girl, very short, very small in the game fourteen years. It 920 01:10:43,359 --> 01:10:46,199 ' s small because it' s the age of criminal responsibility. The fourteen 921 01:10:46,239 --> 01:10:48,760 is the minimum. Not with less than fourteen you can' t be at 922 01:10:48,760 --> 01:10:51,359 the game. This girl had fourteen which already means a lot, but with 923 01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:56,760 fourteen in court means that duties take a omen tour and she came with Grandma. 924 01:10:57,159 --> 01:11:00,359 So, Grandma had asked the girl that for some reason I don' 925 01:11:00,439 --> 01:11:03,279 t remember, that I couldn' t go out on the weekends. In 926 01:11:03,359 --> 01:11:08,319 fact, it was safe to protect her from herself and then, suddenly, 927 01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:12,119 she comes bloodied by Grandma. I had punished her. Why does Grandma tell 928 01:11:12,159 --> 01:11:15,479 me I don' t understand her? He intervenes They know they can' 929 01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:19,159 t talk. I manage the word shift, but that ends up being a 930 01:11:19,199 --> 01:11:23,000 rosary of the aurora and they appreciate it. Besides, they don' t 931 01:11:23,119 --> 01:11:24,560 look at you and say Alejandro, it' s my turn. She won 932 01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:26,840 ' t shut up. No, yeah, it' s your turn. 933 01:11:27,359 --> 01:11:30,279 She can' t talk now. Look, the parents have to shut them 934 01:11:30,279 --> 01:11:33,960 up a lot. Also good a kiss for parents, that we are all 935 01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:38,439 parents. Then, please, I then came the fatal, bloody girl, 936 01:11:39,399 --> 01:11:42,239 just like in the eyes, such that Grandma had punished her without going out 937 01:11:42,319 --> 01:11:45,600 and told me Grandma Alejandro, you had punished him without going out and came 938 01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:47,000 to me at 1: 00 in the morning. She tells me, uh, 939 01:11:47,760 --> 01:11:50,279 the mother at 1: 00 in the morning and then the girl I 940 01:11:50,439 --> 01:11:55,119 saw since she almost hit me. And there you have to read very quickly 941 01:11:55,119 --> 01:11:57,560 and you have to see that girl needs to talk. I can' t 942 01:11:57,600 --> 01:11:59,920 keep her 20 minutes quiet, not because she has something to tell me. 943 01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,279 Usually you don' t see much and then I stop the grandmother who had 944 01:12:03,359 --> 01:12:06,960 the reel for a while longer than I stop her and tell the girl to 945 01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:11,479 see what happens and then I break to cry the mine. I think it 946 01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:14,760 escaped in insult, but grandma, uh, but you, what would you 947 01:12:14,880 --> 01:12:19,760 know if when I got there you were still at the disco. Then Grandma 948 01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:25,279 looked at me, said well away I like to dance then and the other 949 01:12:25,359 --> 01:12:28,479 yes, you arrived at seven o' clock in the morning from the discotheque. 950 01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,000 I loved that, uh, Carla was already right about God. I 951 01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,720 got here at 1: 00, but this one was at 7: 00 952 01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:36,279 in the morning at the disco and I was punished well, I was right 953 01:12:36,279 --> 01:12:40,800 both of them. The question here is if I' m not a referent, 954 01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:43,680 I can' t ask you for anything. I know I can' 955 01:12:43,720 --> 01:12:47,439 t ask my daughter that well, my daughter doesn' t use it, 956 01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:51,920 but my 16- year- old daughter not to watch Tiktok all the videos, 957 01:12:53,159 --> 01:12:55,640 as they tell you. If my dad watches all the YouTube videos, 958 01:12:56,000 --> 01:13:00,000 we' re also sitting there wasting time exactly the two of us. Okay. 959 01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:02,560 It is also not about bonism, because nothing has to do with the 960 01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:06,960 use of an adult with a child. But yes, we do have a 961 01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:11,079 problem. Everyone except for speech. I got you in, but it just 962 01:13:11,159 --> 01:13:13,399 got to my soul, Grandma at seven in the morning dancing the disco. 963 01:13:14,399 --> 01:13:17,159 Eye deserved it to her, not maybe. What happened to me is that 964 01:13:17,239 --> 01:13:24,840 I was envious that I wasn' t in the disco my mother is that 965 01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:28,560 they make you want to tell us so many stories. Alejandro, really, 966 01:13:29,079 --> 01:13:36,079 that is a dagger so much to think about and I like it so much 967 01:13:36,399 --> 01:13:45,000 because it is very far from the breeding manual, do this and you will 968 01:13:45,039 --> 01:13:47,279 get what is good, because by marketing, because life is like this also 969 01:13:47,279 --> 01:13:49,800 because it is demanded. We are becoming more and more used to it, 970 01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:53,319 not and that is often asked for. The parents ask you, they will 971 01:13:53,319 --> 01:13:58,960 ask you, Alexander, give me the recipe so that this does not happen 972 01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:03,800 completely. And of course listening to You is a catalogue of this. It 973 01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,520 ' s life. Life, life? Life? Life? Life? Life? 974 01:14:09,079 --> 01:14:15,199 And yet we will continue to ask you, Alexander, how we managed 975 01:14:15,279 --> 01:14:17,640 not to reach these chapters that you have written. What' s the key. 976 01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:30,279 Recently with tea that I too Claudico know I also my little daughter asks 977 01:14:30,319 --> 01:14:34,119 me I don' t know what ah look the last mita. A while 978 01:14:34,199 --> 01:14:40,239 ago, two years ago. Then we were in the shower. I was 979 01:14:40,239 --> 01:14:42,600 bathing my daughter. Then I' d be seven six, I don' 980 01:14:42,680 --> 01:14:45,159 t know how to help him take a shower and at some point I don 981 01:14:45,159 --> 01:14:46,600 ' t know why. The older one who is like an angel fallen from 982 01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:49,840 heaven, because he had a bad day or something not and then we were 983 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:55,479 there and I, that is Malicia, Alicia Shampoo, clarify what you have 984 01:14:55,479 --> 01:14:59,680 everything. Then she who doesn' t know, then knocks on the usual 985 01:14:59,720 --> 01:15:01,520 door, the bathroom. I say what, and he says uncle you haven 986 01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:08,000 ' t read the book and I say what book yours is oh Liens, 987 01:15:08,239 --> 01:15:11,520 uncle of every day. So whole, I say, my mother, what 988 01:15:11,520 --> 01:15:14,319 a reason. Not good, because why do our children connect us with the 989 01:15:14,439 --> 01:15:18,319 most instinctive, the most animal and where I, surely you meon, get 990 01:15:18,359 --> 01:15:23,399 into a little hole in my house and tell me Alejandro, no, this 991 01:15:23,399 --> 01:15:26,560 no, and I get into yours, but because you are not linked. 992 01:15:28,199 --> 01:15:31,399 It' s just that they' re my daughters, you know, and 993 01:15:31,399 --> 01:15:35,359 they' re already in a lot more dramatic situations like the ones we' 994 01:15:35,359 --> 01:15:35,960 ve told in the book or something here, so nothing. It' s 995 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:40,000 just that we just lose a little bit of the north and that' s 996 01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:43,600 what we want most in our lives. It is us, because it is 997 01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:49,319 half of us, our children, and we see ourselves in them and they 998 01:15:49,359 --> 01:15:55,079 know the responsibility we have, because they look at us every thing we do 999 01:15:55,159 --> 01:15:59,359 and then it is the most beautiful thing there is and, therefore, what 1000 01:15:59,359 --> 01:16:00,479 hurts us the most. No, but if there isn' t, there 1001 01:16:00,479 --> 01:16:04,000 ' s really no magic recipe, you' re not sure. Yeah, 1002 01:16:04,039 --> 01:16:10,520 and if you find it, you give it to me. Please, look 1003 01:16:11,520 --> 01:16:14,960 at that You didn' t run away. It is very clear and anyone 1004 01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:18,560 who says that he has it, lies and I am sure that those who 1005 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:21,680 are listening to us when this chapter is published, that they will be thinking. 1006 01:16:23,239 --> 01:16:27,520 This man will reach the adolescence of his daughters and that will come and 1007 01:16:28,039 --> 01:16:32,079 we will want to hear him see what he thinks of everything he is saying. 1008 01:16:34,159 --> 01:16:36,520 Look, I took my daughter, little girl of two, the other 1009 01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:41,079 day in the park, and I picked her up, and I told her, 1010 01:16:41,079 --> 01:16:44,600 you' re gonna ruin my business. You know, please calm down, 1011 01:16:45,159 --> 01:16:47,479 yeah, well, sure, but it' s beyond doubt. There 1012 01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:51,760 is no doubt that I will have to pass in my moments and I will 1013 01:16:51,800 --> 01:16:55,880 pass them now with the eldest. I go to the teacher' s tutoring 1014 01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:01,279 and it' s not all perfect. Of course not, and indeed they 1015 01:17:02,359 --> 01:17:05,920 will have to be dealt with. And it' s true that there' 1016 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:10,119 s a plus in which you know that can happen no and that you have 1017 01:17:10,119 --> 01:17:12,239 that look. My wife, in addition, is a psychologist, that is, 1018 01:17:12,439 --> 01:17:15,520 at the house of the two poor ones of mine they have to do 1019 01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:20,640 this already mom, that psychologist, but, of course, that will pass 1020 01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:25,640 the interviews, your daughters have them. You know that true in a few 1021 01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:31,279 years the chamo totally, totally, totally poor ones of mine, to say, 1022 01:17:31,520 --> 01:17:38,079 is also the book, the free one or the reality about my parents. 1023 01:17:38,439 --> 01:17:41,920 You imagine, yes, yes, yes, of course this has here 1024 01:17:41,920 --> 01:17:45,399 and this is written there in stone and then it will come to our children 1025 01:17:45,439 --> 01:17:48,760 to look at us. Okay, but I' m gonna tell you one 1026 01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:53,720 more thing. You cut me off, please, and you drive not this 1027 01:17:53,800 --> 01:17:57,439 yes, the older one is in one way and I thought, I thought, 1028 01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:00,600 I was convinced for seven years that she was an only child, that 1029 01:18:00,920 --> 01:18:04,159 she is so good, because we are excellent, not clear. But then 1030 01:18:04,239 --> 01:18:13,920 came the second silvia wine, which came sought dear we come wine and then 1031 01:18:13,960 --> 01:18:17,239 one realizes that genetics long ago being a wonder also as a child in every 1032 01:18:17,479 --> 01:18:23,079 way, but has another very different temperament. Where one is more angry, 1033 01:18:23,159 --> 01:18:29,520 the other may be more blood, where another is more melancholy, the other 1034 01:18:29,560 --> 01:18:32,399 may be more whatever it is, not phlegmatic or such. But we each 1035 01:18:32,479 --> 01:18:35,359 have our temper. So, if I had been left alone with the first 1036 01:18:35,479 --> 01:18:40,840 one, I think I would have always thought I was amazing if I had 1037 01:18:40,840 --> 01:18:44,199 been left alone with the second one, I would have thought my mother, 1038 01:18:45,239 --> 01:18:46,479 how difficult this is, no, what a move. Well, I think 1039 01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:50,319 I' ve also learned something very nice there, and it' s that 1040 01:18:50,439 --> 01:18:57,359 I notice that each, every circumstance, and then there are also very difficult 1041 01:18:57,359 --> 01:19:00,039 external factors, our children' s couples. It' s going to be 1042 01:19:00,079 --> 01:19:04,600 very difficult for my daughters' boyfriends, but well, the couples of our 1043 01:19:04,640 --> 01:19:09,840 sons, the friendships that so much makes us suffer as parents of our daughters, 1044 01:19:10,279 --> 01:19:15,119 of our alcohol sons That is, there is so much external factor that 1045 01:19:15,119 --> 01:19:19,039 nothing. This is almost a feat and I don' t want to forget 1046 01:19:19,079 --> 01:19:23,239 the subject of the College, the subject of teachers. One of the chapters 1047 01:19:23,319 --> 01:19:30,000 that I also find very significant, because we have talked about the whole interview 1048 01:19:30,039 --> 01:19:35,520 of parents and your role as a professional, about the professionals that help the 1049 01:19:35,760 --> 01:19:44,079 family, the adolescent. But we don' t do this alone. The 1050 01:19:44,119 --> 01:19:50,359 teenager has his family, in the best cases, present his environment of his 1051 01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:56,359 own friendships and then he is also in the educational environment, which is fundamental 1052 01:19:56,439 --> 01:20:00,800 and you tell it from a different point of view, which also helps a 1053 01:20:00,920 --> 01:20:05,920 lot to put on a little bit, a chapter in two shoes of that 1054 01:20:06,199 --> 01:20:11,760 person and that also eye, is that we can not take off his weight, 1055 01:20:12,279 --> 01:20:15,920 because he has our teenagers. They spend a lot of hours in high 1056 01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:21,640 schools and schools, in schools and so on and there a lot of things 1057 01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:28,079 happen and to be attentive to that also seems very relevant and I think it 1058 01:20:28,159 --> 01:20:33,800 is very important that you have also included it also as well as having had 1059 01:20:33,840 --> 01:20:40,239 your experience in that regard. No, I' m working with Colles as 1060 01:20:40,239 --> 01:20:42,279 an outsider now. I' m going to work with the boys. That 1061 01:20:42,359 --> 01:20:45,520 ' s what I do, but in the two thousand and twenty I left 1062 01:20:45,880 --> 01:20:51,479 my job as a technician, as a probation officer and accepted against all odds, 1063 01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:58,479 a job as a primary school teacher And that was supposed to me, 1064 01:20:58,600 --> 01:21:03,479 that is, I don' t put my hand here first the unconditional love 1065 01:21:03,479 --> 01:21:06,199 of my fellow teachers, incredible of families and children and then you will tell 1066 01:21:06,199 --> 01:21:09,079 me where the problem was. Well, the program based on me isn' 1067 01:21:10,039 --> 01:21:13,239 t that it' s tremendously difficult to be a teacher. It is necessary 1068 01:21:13,359 --> 01:21:16,640 to master the matter, to master the behaviors of the children, to master 1069 01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:23,159 the attitudes of the children, the differences of aptitudes now with mp mastering also 1070 01:21:23,199 --> 01:21:29,720 the whole tug of the families, to dominate the internal organization, to go 1071 01:21:29,840 --> 01:21:31,640 to the para in the résumé with the other and then you already at five 1072 01:21:31,880 --> 01:21:36,960 o' clock in the afternoon that I was leaving, that is to say, 1073 01:21:38,279 --> 01:21:42,159 I preferred to return to the juvenile court with the level of explicit violence 1074 01:21:42,319 --> 01:21:43,920 and not to be in that, that was a balm, but that I 1075 01:21:43,920 --> 01:21:47,079 did not control. That' s where I learned a lot of good. 1076 01:21:47,119 --> 01:21:51,239 This is a vocation the teacher when he becomes a trade and bases himself on 1077 01:21:51,279 --> 01:21:55,720 money, of course, something fails, not the unfortunate thing is that he 1078 01:21:56,239 --> 01:21:58,880 should be otherwise recognized, but this we have already talked about many times. 1079 01:21:59,199 --> 01:22:04,920 But it' s titanic to be a teacher, and then he comes to 1080 01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:08,079 me, and it happened a lot to me to come to the mother to 1081 01:22:08,079 --> 01:22:10,680 pick up a little girl. Then the girl came out with a bad face 1082 01:22:10,720 --> 01:22:14,600 and looked at me. I wasn' t wondering today and I wasn' 1083 01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,560 t telling me, man, I' m amazing in class. I mean, 1084 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:19,520 you should have seen him. It' s been brutal. No, 1085 01:22:20,199 --> 01:22:25,000 and so did another kid who was suddenly dating Daddy Mommy, and I was 1086 01:22:25,079 --> 01:22:29,720 looking at him Daddy Mommy. Teo or the repertoire of swearing you know Daddy 1087 01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:38,800 Mommy, this is what' s wrong, man, so good. It 1088 01:22:38,840 --> 01:22:43,239 was an amazing learning, a wonder. I now left him and went back 1089 01:22:43,279 --> 01:22:46,760 to mine that my teenagers, my office, my vacation Roman. He didn 1090 01:22:47,039 --> 01:22:49,560 ' t convince you. No. No. Don' t you? Don 1091 01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:48,920 ' t you? Don' t you? Don' t you? Don 1092 01:22:48,920 --> 01:22:50,720 ' t you? Don' t you? No, I didn' t 1093 01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:56,800 leave anything for you. I prefer work and what it was. He really 1094 01:22:56,840 --> 01:23:00,159 gave it to you amazing, one of the most important jobs he had neither 1095 01:23:00,199 --> 01:23:05,880 learning. Little time, but learning and fortunately I left it. I think 1096 01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:10,840 you know well with good recognition. And such, but no, I, 1097 01:23:10,880 --> 01:23:14,239 no, no, no, no, I didn' t, and the 1098 01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:17,600 last episode, the last chapter, I told the teacher I had in mind 1099 01:23:17,600 --> 01:23:23,560 when it came to portraying him. Then I read it and he thanked me. 1100 01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:27,159 And so, but above all, it' s me, pretty, 1101 01:23:27,359 --> 01:23:32,520 it' s me going into school, it' s me, because of 1102 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:39,359 the inability not to reach all the mails that come to you and so I 1103 01:23:39,359 --> 01:23:43,680 also tell you here now I' ve almost fired, I guess, but 1104 01:23:43,680 --> 01:23:45,880 nothing is once again, that man of yours. The truth is that it 1105 01:23:45,920 --> 01:23:51,439 is a chapter too, because that gives you a feeling of having read many 1106 01:23:51,520 --> 01:23:57,319 stories, but at the same time having accompanied you to IT in them, 1107 01:23:57,640 --> 01:24:02,319 not to a single interlocutor. And it' s a reading that' s 1108 01:24:02,319 --> 01:24:05,159 pulled, that is, with how hard it can be, because there are 1109 01:24:05,239 --> 01:24:10,359 times when your breathing stays there, it' s cut off, it' 1110 01:24:10,520 --> 01:24:13,359 s read from the pull. Super good. Written by Alejandro. So, 1111 01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:16,840 thank you very much. It was made literary criticism, but it really is 1112 01:24:16,880 --> 01:24:21,600 a luxury, a delight and it leaves you, well, yes, it 1113 01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:27,840 leaves you cut, but it really is worth it. I' m convinced 1114 01:24:27,840 --> 01:24:31,279 that, after this wonderful talk that we' ve had our audience, you 1115 01:24:31,319 --> 01:24:35,199 ' re going to run to your neighborhood bookstore, ojicharlo and ask for it. 1116 01:24:35,680 --> 01:24:41,439 And, of course, I also recommend that you do with the previous 1117 01:24:41,479 --> 01:24:45,600 one, because it comes a little bit as in order, that is, 1118 01:24:45,840 --> 01:24:51,279 but you have in one not as it is a little bit unguided, but 1119 01:24:51,439 --> 01:24:57,159 yes more or less as much, a little more aseptic, which also has 1120 01:24:57,199 --> 01:25:00,920 very interesting parts and a little more pers because if it wasn' t you, 1121 01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:03,439 if it wasn' t personal, because it is true that it has 1122 01:25:03,439 --> 01:25:10,119 a seal. First you get a little bit of the base and then you 1123 01:25:10,239 --> 01:25:23,079 get fat, get ready or read straight into the second real teens from within 1124 01:25:23,079 --> 01:25:33,000 and stay good enough. Now I' ve seen this. How ordo holy 1125 01:25:33,079 --> 01:25:43,079 Monica can sell you span you can sell also correct packaging and a tipip with 1126 01:25:43,159 --> 01:25:45,960 a pack, with a linden. I have gone ideas to the publishing house 1127 01:25:45,079 --> 01:25:55,119 a linden and so for parents with sensitive heart and high tension. Yes, 1128 01:25:55,199 --> 01:25:58,520 yes, I, that' s why I recommend at the beginning of the 1129 01:25:58,560 --> 01:26:05,640 book that you read one episode per day I integrated calm and so or so 1130 01:26:05,680 --> 01:26:09,239 people who did tell me, I didn' t take it and I don 1131 01:26:09,239 --> 01:26:12,279 ' t care. That' s what you or I say in one afternoon, 1132 01:26:12,560 --> 01:26:15,520 in one sitting there I was already telling you that these are from the 1133 01:26:15,560 --> 01:26:17,840 books you have to read from the pull. That' s right. I 1134 01:26:18,039 --> 01:26:21,159 ' m not very sorry, you have to take it out for a little 1135 01:26:21,239 --> 01:26:24,800 while, but you read it from the pull. Heed me very, very 1136 01:26:24,840 --> 01:26:30,600 recommendable, I had no doubt, but after reading it as I recommend it, 1137 01:26:30,920 --> 01:26:32,760 no doubt and of course, thank you very much, Alexander. What 1138 01:26:32,840 --> 01:26:35,680 am I going to tell you if it' s a pleasure to chat with 1139 01:26:35,720 --> 01:26:40,319 you for how generous you are always, for the stories you tell us and 1140 01:26:40,319 --> 01:26:43,720 everything in the background, that I like a lot, because you don' 1141 01:26:43,720 --> 01:26:46,720 t want to tell a lot of things, but you leave them there and 1142 01:26:46,720 --> 01:26:50,680 it' s a delight. It' s a delight to chat with you 1143 01:26:50,680 --> 01:26:53,880 all the time. Thank you very much. You and I both know what 1144 01:26:54,600 --> 01:27:00,439 it' s cost us, but hard and hard, and as we' 1145 01:27:00,439 --> 01:27:03,159 ve been here, deligate her to be with you forever and I want to 1146 01:27:03,159 --> 01:27:06,239 thank you. Also, in one part, I think it' s very 1147 01:27:06,479 --> 01:27:15,279 important because of your rigor you know and your work and quality content, not 1148 01:27:15,279 --> 01:27:17,680 in what you broadcast, but today, for example, it' s not 1149 01:27:17,680 --> 01:27:21,159 the same. Approaching a talk with you about and how about your teen book, 1150 01:27:23,079 --> 01:27:30,279 how good is not what you say worth ok Oh Jolinés. That requires 1151 01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:36,000 an investment of time and of wanting to make things right and there we go 1152 01:27:36,239 --> 01:27:39,600 without a doubt. That' s why I' m here with you again 1153 01:27:39,640 --> 01:27:43,039 and I' m gonna be all you tell me, but whatever you want, 1154 01:27:43,279 --> 01:27:45,119 but he' s really super grateful. It' s wonderful to talk 1155 01:27:46,079 --> 01:27:51,159 to you and the rigor you have. Anyway, well, the audience is 1156 01:27:51,239 --> 01:27:55,760 already tired of us. This is where you' re fired, since we 1157 01:27:55,840 --> 01:28:01,520 already know that you love each other very much that the most people could hate 1158 01:28:01,560 --> 01:28:04,079 each other, but that' s not the case. Another thing clear, 1159 01:28:04,319 --> 01:28:08,399 yes, it is. And besides, it' s lucky that the luck 1160 01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:12,840 that I have with this job is that I can talk to people I learn 1161 01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:15,880 and I have fun and I can recommend it. You' re the luxury 1162 01:28:15,960 --> 01:28:21,039 of recommending that you read to someone you' re going to learn. Sure, 1163 01:28:21,159 --> 01:28:25,319 everyone who listens to me will learn reading, Alexander and you will enjoy 1164 01:28:25,359 --> 01:28:28,479 it. Then you listen to me and write to me. Okay then I 1165 01:28:28,520 --> 01:28:33,359 ' ve seen it, Alejandro, nothing looks at how long we' ve 1166 01:28:33,399 --> 01:28:36,800 been and I' ve told you before we start, no more than forty 1167 01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:43,520 - five minutes. I knew you wouldn' t. I knew that was 1168 01:28:43,600 --> 01:28:45,960 a utopia, but well, I said the same thing. If I say 1169 01:28:46,199 --> 01:28:49,880 it your project and it manifests, not like now. The young people will 1170 01:28:49,960 --> 01:28:54,760 demonstrate a lot and manifest, but they knew it, not true, because 1171 01:28:55,520 --> 01:29:00,600 I have among myself in order that in the notes of the program I will 1172 01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:05,800 leave the information of this wonderful book, also of the first, with the 1173 01:29:05,800 --> 01:29:11,800 link to the program, to the two previous programs and to the space and 1174 01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:17,840 mother sphere, where Alejandro also intervenes, and I am convinced that we will 1175 01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:20,279 speak again and we will continue to talk and nothing that goes well with you, 1176 01:29:20,399 --> 01:29:23,800 that you will be very lucky with this book, that I am convinced 1177 01:29:23,800 --> 01:29:25,560 that it will go very far and that it will excite many people. Thank 1178 01:29:25,760 --> 01:29:31,880 you from the heart. We' re leaving I' ll leave you to 1179 01:29:31,880 --> 01:29:34,800 the gea fan song. I' m going to put it later, since 1180 01:29:34,840 --> 01:29:41,680 they take my rights away, but I' m going to put it on 1181 01:29:41,680 --> 01:29:44,880 because I played so that you have it in mind that in teenagers and also 1182 01:29:44,880 --> 01:29:45,319 parents and they were mothers. We just want to have a good time. 1183 01:29:46,199 --> 01:30:05,359 We' re not going to Bye- bye, nudity.