Hey, look it. Hey, look he's it. Hey look he was
good. Chris. Why would you say that? Why would you say that,
Chris? Girls, I don't say that. Girls go to lion,
girls go to lion in the forest. Girls. Man, you can't.
I'm saying. Welcome to the Stark Tank Podcast. Our time is borrowed.
Welcome, Welcome to the show. Stop us bro, we're too niche.
Welcome to the show. We've we've got a lot of questions to catch up
on. We missed a week because a bunch of bullshit happens at the beginning
of January apparently that I personally don't feel like getting into person. But we're
gonna catch up. We got your questions here, We've got a lot of
I think there's stuff to talk about. I think there's like we we might
we might jump into some current events if it's if it's necessary, but we
want to focus on your questions. But first, before we get into it,
I want to I want to mention that Derek got really famous over the
last couple Yes, like shockingly it was exactly so you describe you described this
because you're you're the best person to describe this. Well, I don't know
I just well, essentially, I shared things that I normally like doing,
but it just really caught on, even even on Instagram. I'll start with
this and then I'll work to what I really want to talk about. Uh,
you know, we've been doing you guys know, extra anmial people and
whatnot. And we've actually posted on the YouTube channel itself with snark Tank some
of the gay covers we've done, and it's just like it's it's like hobby
shit. I just think it's fun, it's stupid. And I just did
one really fast when with Metallica the inter sand Man and that shit. It
probably has like ten million views on Instagram. It just went and to the
point where like the entire metal community, people that I've looked up to,
you are all like just and I was like, oh, I didn't.
It's always when you're not expecting it, right, when you're just releasing something
really fast. And then the same thing happened on Twitter, where so on
Instagram, I saw a handful of mods on Mortal Kombat one. Now I
didn't even think about because the body community doesn't really touch Mortal Kombat, but
apparently their engine is much easier to operate. I think there might be using
Unreal five and so unreal and re engine all that stuff like that is very
easy to manipulate. So I was shocked. I didn't know because all the
other Mortal combats, nobody really did anything. So I immediately just slapped them
on. And of course the first thing, the first thing I have to
do is you slap on bone or on some people, you make them naked
and then they just have the ridiculous hardest boners. Then I did a Wolverine
as baraka Braca's Wolverine, which makes sense, posted a little clip and I
knew it was pretty deceptive because Wolverine's fucking up Omni Man, right, so
you don't notice right away, and then the Hulk jumps in and you really
notice that Omni Man has the hardest penis. He's like, what I like
about it is that they're not unrealistic proportions of penises either, Like, well,
maybe someone can be walking around with that much heat, you know,
like he got like he got like a good like niner on him. You
know, yeah, I believe he got some heat on him, you know,
like that that's a bad bitch. You know, he probably got some.
He probably got some length on him. But the funniest thing is when
Hulks starts beating him, his hard cock is up against hawks as on his
stomach. Dude, Like, this is crazy. I do love how deceptive
it is. Like it really like if you're if you if you just scroll
past it, you there's a good chance you might not notice what the fuck
is going on. Because I didn't notice, I was like, why does
this doy have so many Well, it's just wolver It's just a wolverine mood.
I had to watch lot, guys. I had to watch it like
four times before I like it because of the as well. That's what I
was hoping for. I was hoping that you wouldn't. That's why you know,
I didn't allude to anything. I was hoping that people would notice it
probably the second watch or something. Uh yeah. And there were people that
I even saw some Coote tweets that were the same. They were being like
like like, it's not this is unimpressive because they didn't get it. They
were like you could do the ship in Mugen like years ago, like Nigga,
look closer, closer, look look harder, look way harder. And
dude, because one of my what about the creators Mighty keep Somebody that I
really enjoying YouTube? What the fuck is this? What the I knew it
was gonna happen. I was just like, I'm gonna I'm gonna let it
because I didn't, I didn't reset it, so sorry. I should have
get I should have gave you guys a warning. I just need to adjust
my volume. Derek's camera has a mind of its own, and it's really
upset Derek. That was a Junji e too moment. I'm like, you
move your face and then there's like another Derek, Fine, just chilling you.
That's some like grudge it now. I fixed it now, I just
my my phone's a little high. I'm just trying to fix it. What
were you gonna say? Kingston so one of my favorite creators, Mighty keep
Somebody, I watching you. I'm watching him for years on YouTube. It's
so funny because he comments and just like, yo, why is a meetout?
He commented meat out, and Derek's response was so simple. It was
so like just Joe only simple. Was just like you don't have your dick
out sometimes, and I'm just like what I mean, just sometimes, I
mean, sometimes people just get really excited, Like, you know, some
people like playing video games, some people really like fighting, and so I
feel like an omni man was a perfect representation of that, Like he really
fucking enjoys fighting so he can be getting sliced up by wolverine and maintain his
boner. And that's the thing that people don't there's a handful of people that
don't understand. And I've also learned this is like almost like a good social
experiment of people that are homophobic in a way that like penises make them uncomfortable,
where you know, to me, dick, it's just a dick man.
First of all, it's a video game dick. But even if he
saw like a real hard penis in real life, I'd be like, I
would be more like whoa surprised, but not like weirded out and scratching my
head and like what the fuck's going on? But there was a handful of
people that had this reaction of being like they don't understand it. They think
it's like a immediately, and I feel like it might be one of those
things where it's a little bit of projection where they can they're not coming to
grips with the fact that they like penises, but they don't want to,
so when they see it, they don't see it as comedy. They see
it as something that is like hot or lustful, so they don't understand the
scenario where they're confused. Were like how many comes from? How hard he
is? But that's the whole point, being completely in a situation exactly,
don't get hard like that when you fight well. Scenario like the the Ori
engine was so easy to manipulate, always putting like hard dicks on all the
characters because they're in the most dangerous and scary situations, which is completely antithetic
to being turned on. It's yeah, I just I love my favorite thing
about this. This this weeon has eight eight point eight million views. It's
also got four five thousand book barks. The amount of bookmarks is. It's
sad the bookmarks. It's not even the it's not the likes, it's not
the reason. It's the bookmarks that kill me, because it's like, why
don't this is a this is a treasure. This is one of those things
I gotta hold on to this. Yeah, I mean it's the goul video,
that Gokul video that you put in the chat that's a video you gotta
hold on to. That's a video you gotta download, you gonna give it,
and you have the go Coul video. That's all I can say about
it. That always the story, right, is the mom where he shouting
whistlers, Yes, you gotta hold on to that video. That's a video.
I saw a video on Twitter of Goku, like I don't even remember
where I saw I think it. I think it was Twitter. It was
like maybe maybe I'll maybe I'll kill you, yeah, and and like fucking
I wish I could find it. I don't know where the hell it went,
but it brings me joy to see just random random ship like this explode
in this way. It reminds me a lot of the Resident Grandma thing that
I made a couple months ago, where I was just somebody I commented about
that yeah someonemos like this is your version of this. I love that.
It's just he's so hard, it's unreal. Its so it's so ridiculous.
And then so so I saw Garris the Black Timekeeper character. I saw somebody
using him before, like mods are on it, and what they were doing
they would time freeze you while you were bent over and then he has this
move where he like hit, he humps you with his chest. Essentially he
bumps you, but he looks like he's thrusting his cock. So I've seen
people doing that on Instagram. So immediately my first thought was to Okay,
obviously I'm gonna mod Garris and then do that. And so here's the thing
to make it because some people probably would have had a problem with it,
because first I was going to do it to Omni Man since he's already naked,
and I was like, but that's too easy. And then I was
gonna do it to one of the girls because I have them nude in MK
one, But then I'm like, that's too I feel like people probably would
have a problem with that. So Mario Mario is like, it's so stupid
to take super Mario and have him getting violated. And it worked because it
it took off. Two other people started stealing it and shit, and the
gay porn community found it. Dude, there's like a handful of gay porn
what do you call them? Porn stars that are following me now because I
because I shared that, And there's a guy that got tagged that looks like
Garris. The dude tagged him and he's like, you've been immortalized. And
I clicked on his page and it's this bald, tall dude that looks like
Garris. But then if you scroll down a little bit, he's like pipeing
other black dudes and I'm like, okay, I gotta get off here,
I gotta get off his page. I ended up going down a rabbit hole,
and I can't explain. I can't explain this. I can't explain people
going back from this, and there being dozens of pages of it go back
from those are the moments that you can't, Like, you can't because,
like you know, everyone, everyone is mistakenly stuffed down the gay porn hole.
Once or twice you click one thing to be you're like, whoa,
you women have really big dicks. You go back, but you stop at
that moment you go back and you're like, all right, cool, I'm
I've seen scared. I'm gonna go back. I've seen the most gay porn
I have ever seen in my entire life in the past day or two because
of this, like like it was, it was so many because they were
they have big followers, so you would get you would get notifications I would
get I get better for notifications when large people have large audiences when they when
they re interact with your page, they repose to follow or whatever. So
then when I click on their profile and it was dozens of gay dudes pipe
and other dudes, and I'm like, I have seen a lot of gay
porn because of this. So then at a certain point, I was just
like, I'm just gonna let it die down because clearly it's going through its
communities like it went through the gaming community, went through uh, the more
combat community, now the gay community, so it's it made its rounds.
Was pretty fun, and some of the quote wheets, some of the quote
tweets got bigger, like there's that what's that Diary of a wimpy kid meme?
That gift there's that chubby kidd that he's waving and then he looks yeah.
Yeah. It had like one hundred thousand likes one of one guy,
one guy that did that, and I'm like, dude, it's bigger than
the post itself. I've never seen anything like it. That always yeah vins
go hard stole it, uh or vis that go hard stole it. It's
one of the it's one of the when you make something this big, it's
just you know, yeah, I know it's gonna get ripped for sure,
but like it's one of the things where this the vis a go hard guy.
I know that he saw exactly where it came from. It's not like
it went down a pipeline like say I share things that have I don't know
where it came from because it's who knows where it started. That's the whole
thing where I don't know. I have no problem with you reash like this
is the reason why I don't really do what do you call it a watermark?
Because I don't really care. But when it's just blatant that, that's
the only time it annoys me. Where I'm like, bro, like I'm
right here. You could have just quote tweeted me like I'm right here.
Whatever. It is pretty silly, but yeah, it was fun. Though.
I'm glad that so many people got to experience why I do this ship
in the first place, Like why because like I said in the beginning,
I feel like there's people that didn't understand the humor in it, Like they
just think it's like some gay shit and I'm like, no rest asure.
The women have giant tits and there naked too, Like this is this is
like a whole Yeah. I'm like, this is not just like, oh,
I'm showing the boners more often because it's funnier than just naked chicks,
because I feel like there's too many people that do do the naked chicks for
like hot reasons, like they think this is hot. You would just,
yeah, it's not funny. You would just jerk off to it. Yeah.
Like and me, I'm like, yeah, look good, don't get
me wrong. Chunn Lee and street Fighter six looks fucking awesome. Jerry looks
fucking awesome. You know what I'm saying. You don't jerk. You don't
jok you don't there's a level, there's level senten you don't go beyond.
You don't jerk off to that. You just enjoy it. Yeah, exactly,
I enjoy it. It's funny. It's funny at the same time because
situational, like I played the open world thing and then you first I'm running
into Chunn Lee and it's like funny because it's you know, it's awkward.
She's like just naked as ship and everybody's just casually not paying attention to her
giant ass and stuff and her massive thighs, like as if it just makes
it funny. Have you seen then you get to appreciated nice? Have you
seen what you know? How do you know Horizon like Horizon for midd West
and like Horizon zero. Have you seen the mod where it's like because in
the beginning of Horizon, the first one, you play child Aloy, like
it's like a it's like a kid version of the Protection as a kid.
But like, yeah, in the beginning, in like the first level,
like the tutorial level, she's like a child, but like there's a mod
that's that sticks the child model onto the adult model. So like her neck
is like giraft out and her her arms and legs are fucking real thin and
long. It is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen. That's
the shit that I like. That is That's the ship that kills me when
I see it. But I love such a fan brolet's speaking of this.
I'm actually I'm glad that we started off with this because did you hear I'm
of course you must have heard about this Chris Catcom fucking putting in d r
M in their old games because because of a so this the theory is,
well, it's not even a theory. The Capcom representatives come out and said
that like mods, even like uh just world mods, f ov mods,
everything, it's all cheating, all blanketed, and it's all cheating. You're
ruining the game. And people are theorizing though the reason why this happened and
why they're retroactively trying to swat away some mods of their games, which they
fucked up some of them, like for example, uh Residuval Revelations, they
fucked it up and had to immediately reverse the patch of the d r M
because it broke the game. But like that game is fucking over like ten
years old, and they're trying to go on the old things and stop people
from mody shit. Specifically because that one fucking guy that was streaming a tournament
a street Fighter six forgot to turn off the lid and because of that dumb
motherfucker he was in he was in a world championship. Yeah, thousands of
people that he had. The one that's literally on I can send it to
you right now. I have. I took a selfhich with my avatar with
nude chun lead dude, I have I looked for Fortnite bro. I've been
down bad. I've been down bad. I've definitely I'll tell you what that
would have a tournament has happened. Yes, that happened in a big tournament.
D like this, But my how do you forget though? That doesn't
even make sense to me? No, what I think, what I think
happens is this, right, what happens is on his screen. You see
that on the other screen, you don't, I don't think. I think
what happens is he didn't know that it was gonna stream his screen. That
doesn't make any like his screen of it. Because what happens usually in mods
if you play mods online, right, I'll see regular chun. Yes,
Na, that's no, that's no, that's actually not true. That is
because friend, he doesn't have new chun. I have new chun. Yeah.
Well, and also that's been the way you would the characters that you
because for example, it's just like how hacking works. It is interfering with
the p v P, so you put on your character. No, it's
that that's the whole what what what I'm saying. What I'm saying is like
there are some there are some games where I don't know if that's a choice
on the developer's part, because there are they're like in uh, what is
it Left for Dead? I remember specifically there are mods and Left for Dead
where you can have like your entire team is like Velociraptors and ship. But
like those mods only appear for you, like if somebody else joins your game,
they'll just see normal Left for Dead, like anybody can have their own
modes, like little ones I particularly have downloaded because my friend doesn't. I
was like, hey, do you see this? He was like, no,
I did see on my screen. Yeah. I don't know what that
is though for me. For me, what's his name is as big as
it's fit, so it's probably it's just it's a different Yeah, it might
be the differ like his fist. Just keep going like for example, for
example Red Dead Redemption, dude, Yes, Luke's fucking forearms or Popeye's disgusting.
I don't even know what the hell is bigger than that. So here's
the thing, uh, like read of Redemption. I was so excited to
see on TikTok that cars have been modded into the game. I was so
excited, but it turns out it is only a specific server online. There's
all community and the server, and they're fucking around with it, and so
it's they don't have the coding available for the single player, and that pissed
me off because that's all I cared about. I don't I don't play online.
So it's it's just a different encoding. And so the code that he
has it translates to the PvP to the multiplayer, which mine, uh the
ones that I have on Mortal Kombat, uh would as well, which uh,
I can't wait. I told my friend, I was like, dude,
we got to play MK one again. And so I and he doesn't
know about all this ship that I slapped on, so I'm like excited to
surprise him with like the hardest dix. That guy really everything for cop But
did he he really fucked everything? I don't understand. It happens, you
know, because you're like, you know, especially if you're a perversion,
if you're a pro player, you gotta be you gotta be more careful.
So that's a that's a file on this part. That's just stupid. Take
your you gotta you gotta carry your stick. That's that's your money. It's
through. It's through most of those mods like that, like Resident Evil or
shoot Fight or anything. It's through Fluffy. You have to do. Fluffy
is the easiest thing in to control. Literally press one button to slap all
your mods off or on. Like That's why it's so like reckless to even
like just literally open up your Fluffy mod and then just be like take them
all off and they're off. So that's why it feels almost like how did
you for? How did you just he's probably rushing into the tournament a bunch
of dumb shit, probably because there it almost feels like it was on purpose
to me, almost what makes for your money? You know, like you
don't watch porm of your computer? You know, yeah, like you'd like
there is there's way you gotta there certain things you gotta be, you gotta
you gotta clean up your active, you gotta watch your staff. That's why
it's so That's why I just feel so it's so irresponsible. It almost felt
purposeful to me, like you'd ask the question, why would you do that
on purpose? But a lot of people do a lot of crazy ship because
it's just it's just so easy to avoid. People are just dumb people don't
make like what was that? Was that retard? What was that guy's name?
Dream was a dream that got cheated in Minecraft, that got caught cheating
doing obvious stuff like his RNG was so good it was impossible. I'm pretty
sure it was dream. It's what makes that even funnier is that the The
thing about the dream one is that like he he kept bragging about it.
That's what made it worse for him. He's like, he fucking did whatever
he did was stupid. I was like, that's dumb. Yeah, he
kept like, well I did this in Minecraft, and it's like, bro,
shut up, shut up. It's weird. It's like the fact you
cheated. Stop, it's so easy. It's like it's so obvious that you
cheat. That's the weird thing too, where it's like people do these things
where it's so obvious, like nobody has that type of luck. It is
impossible. You were the luckiest person in the universe, not even the fucking
galaxy. It's impossible. But like, if you're gonna cheat, right,
you know, people are gonna try to make you recreate it right impossible.
You look you look stupid, you look like, oh, you got it.
This one time. Oh yeah, I beat this game and you look.
You look at someone's fine with Pokemon. I beat in like two hours.
It's like a really do that again? He was signing close to that
again. Yeah, like yeah, it's just what like the if you want
to say, if you want to be technical, sure and probably yeah blah
blah blah blah blah. But yeah, it's wild that Capcom did that stuff.
Now, apparently it's not in as many games as some people were saying,
Like I actually just tested on Ultimate More uh Ultimate Marvel three because some
people said it was fucked up with that too, but I didn't see any
issues with it. But definitely some resid evil ones and just old fucking games
they care very strange. I don't know that is funny that a nude mod
completely ruined everything though in a tournament that's she was naked. Uh So,
I don't know. The mods look good though, Man, there's some good
uh ZANGI fucking the what's who's the who's the that? That? Uh?
What? What is she? Uh? The the Italian chick, the big
one. Yeah, they there's mods. There's mods to fucking uh the because
I guess some people thought her tits were too small because she she's all muscle
mommy, yeah, giant tits, and like they fixed her hair because her
hair looks like Magneto, looks like Magnill's elle Bro dreams. Come. Yeah,
she definitely she can. She can. I want to see her versus
a Lady Dematraska or something or Madam more than her name is. I don't
got enough gas in the tank for that. I think. I think I
think got perish before I was able to finish watching that. I think I'd
be like my hands, my hands just corroded on themselves. I think,
Uh, man, I feel like, have you seen this fucking Power World
thing? Have you seen this at all? I just found out about it
two days ago. All right, you know I will. We'll save it
for the next episode then, because I'm sure a lot more will happen.
It's gonna be it's this is not going away for any time for a while,
like and definitely by the by the time we record next time, dude,
like, like, it'll still there's probably gonna be more of it for
those of you who don't know. I just want to Power World is this.
I mentioned that on the podcast a longer, like a while ago is
this game that's like Pokemon, it's likens, yeah, because it just it
didn't I don't know it. It was just this random trailer that was shown.
It's some like showcase or something. It was Pokemon for most of the
trailer, like some Pokemon type game, and then there's just this shot.
There's just a shot of all these Pokemon on an assembly line in a factory
making weapons, making like assault rifles. I'm like, Okay, I guess,
I guess this is real. But it came out I think, like
what two days ago at the time of recording this a day ago, and
uh it's it's the biggest game of the world right now. Basically. Uh,
like straight up, I don't understand how did it get so I have
not seen and you even said yourself that you mentioned it. I literally have
zero memory of this. I don't understand how big it got without anybody in
my circles online anywhere hyping it up. Yeah, I mean no one was
talking. No one was That's the thing. It's like, no one was
talking about it really, like like it was a trailer in like some showcase
that everybody was like, what the fuck is that? Like, what the
fuck is this. Why are there like Electa Buzzes manufacturing AK forty sevens in
a fucking in a fucking warehouse and you buy? What the fuck is going
on? What is this? Uh? And it was just kind of like
a funny. It was just like a funny thing. Like everybody was just
like, ah, weird. I don't know, but I don't think there
was anybody who was like excited for it, you know what I mean.
It wasn't like hype. It was more like what the fuck is that?
And then I think it just dropped. I think it came out on game
Pass, so like a bunch of people were able to play it without actually
like buying it. I think that's what really helped a lot. But I
think, what what what it really is, It's like, oh, people
are hungry for Pokemon outside of Nintendo, and so now that there's some kind
of option, even though it's more like no your turn, and so even
though it's like more like oh, yeah, I'm just I'm just it's literally
every time you time out, like you timed out for one moment and I
said something and then you spoke right when I spoke. I'm just fucking I
just thought it would be funny to say the the uh. But even so,
even though it's there's like this this Pokemon aesthetic, and even though it's
more like Rust or like Arc Survival Evolved and like all these other things,
there's like a Pokemon element to it where people are like, yes, I'm
hungry for this on consoles that aren't fucking you know, based on twenty fourteen
hardware. So it's exploding. But the thing that I don't know, it's
like there's there's accusations of AI art theft, there's accusations of straight up plagiarism
from Pokemon. There's there's I don't know. I don't know yet. It's
it's kind of a mess out there right now. I don't know whether or
not it's like ethically okay to play this even or if it's just a completely
stolen piece of shit made by like twelve people in a basement with AI,
you know, Like, I have no idea. I really don't know.
It's too early, it's chaotic, but what is it. It's looking a
little bit like that war god Zeus of Child, but just enhanced. Like
it looks like all of those things were. When I first looked at the
h it was it was the company whoever did it. I saw them on
Twitter posting that they had like over like four million units or something like that
sold. And when I saw the thumbnail of that, I immediately was like,
because I didn't keep up with Pokemon, I'm I'm on the I'm the
one hundred and fifty one and then I fell off. So when I saw
that, I was just like, hey, is this, Like are these
I thought it was actually affiliated with Pokemon because it they just look literally like
Pokemon, And I'm thinking, there's no way you can get away with this,
can you? Yeah, dude, there's one that's straight up, straight
up and elect the buzz just straight up. And from what I remember,
I liked, it's wild, Like how do you get away with that?
Shit? Like it seems way too like it's too similar. It's not until
the point it's like, uh what was it? Uh? What was that?
Remember when A blurred lines and then Marvin Gay remember that shit? Oh
yeah? Yeah, like uh yeah, Like there's a lot of examples of
that, but that was one of those things where they try to argue,
but it's so obvious that it was that fucking lifted. And I see this
and that was my first thought though, like, there's no way this isn't
gonna end in a lawsuit, is it? Like it's this is insane.
I mean maybe they cleared it. Yeah, maybe I heard that they got
suited a couple of times, but it didn't take so, like, I
don't I don't know what the fuck is going on with this thing. I'm
curious about it. I kind of want to spin it just because it's so
big and just so weird. But like I thought about buying it. I
saw that motherfucker with an axe beating the fuck out of some flying stingray things,
and I felt so bad. I saw fucking up some animals. The
thing, the thing that almost the thing that the thing that almost sold it
to me was this guy was like, uh, in Power World, you
can just go up and punch the Pokemon. And it was just some guy
walking up to like a sheep Pokemon and just just beating down on it until
it went unconscious. I was like, this is kind of I don't know,
I'm I'm kind of I'm kind of into I wonder how Peta feels about
this fucking game, but it's just it's just so twitter. Some more Pokemon
kind of game made. Bro. Yeah, I mean I don't know sold
copies. Though a lot of the is coming from Nintendo themselves. They're like,
hey, make a fake account, tweet a I did this. Anything
they can to make it seem worse. Well, the thing that I don't
I don't know because I've seen a lot of conversation online where it's like,
well, if you're a real Pokemon fan, you'd want Power World to succeed
because Nintendo's getting too comfortable making garbage, so they need to be put in
the dependent. It's like, first of all, that you don't. That
is the fucking stupidest opinion I've ever fucking heard of my life. You think
AI thefted or just straight up normal thefted shovel wear being really successful is going
to teach Nintendo a lesson? Are fortunately not? That is literally the opposite
lesson that you would want them to learn. It's literally the opposite. You
don't want them to be like, oh, look they could just do nothing.
They could just steal and do nothing and make a lot of money.
Let's why would we why would we put effort into this? That's the if
you think they're going to learn a good lesson from this. You're fucking just
really really naive, and I I I appreciate you. I I like that
you're frolicking around in a field of dandelions while the rest of the world is
burning around you. But you need to fucking get inside and stop playing simple
jack. Okay, So what happens is Nintendo Nintendo is there. There's no
like I go for someone that had a play a Switch to have an O
lead, right, I got an O led Team Deck. The Nintendo's consoles
laughable. That consoles fucking is a terrible console. It's from seventeen. It's
even so. Even so, dude, you know what I just say.
It's a handheld from twenty seventeen. You know what I just saw it.
I feel like like I feel like the Veta was the I phone stronger than
the Switch. I'm pretty sure it wasn't. I'm pretty sure they're a phone
stronger than this. I'm not misremembering, but for its idea, it was
up to speed maybe len And this ship is so far behind that, like
if you try to bro I saw Arkham City on on Arkham City at twenty
I think twenty fifteen game, maybe twenty sixteen maybe Yeah. I saw running
on switch and it looked like absolute fucking ass shit. Yeah, And it's
like, bro, it's why do people let like they just people just let
Nintendo disrespect them so much? Because I saw people running defense for this ship
and I'm like, okay, and then and then switch to is gonna come
out and it's still gonna be ship because you guys keep buying this ship.
Stop buying this ship. I played. I'm playing. I am playing Resident
three on max settings on the fucking lead with the steam deck right now,
and it's running at ninety frames. There's no reason fucking thing. They just
don't care. I mean, obviously the switches, the switch is smaller,
right, but they they can do it. And and like if Nintendo wanted
to, they get like really not people sunking socks off they wanted. Well,
I think the issue that they've did, the issue that Nintendo, the
issue that Nintendo runs the dudes like a they don't have to b it kind
of doesn't matter because you have like I mean, you have you do have
like I don't know, you have the Xbox series as X and you have
like the PlayStation five, and they're like the strongest consoles on the market,
you know, like they do all this crazy ship, but I mean arguably
there's really not there's not a game as good as you know, Tiers of
the Kingdom on either of them, really, you know, like that's kind
of that's kind of where they're they're at, where it's like, we're just
gonna make really good software that's like impeded by the technology, but it's still
the software is still so good that you're gonna be you're gonna buy it anyway.
And also because this hardware is and also because the hardware, because the
hardware is uh, gimped in some way, it means it won't be as
expensive as the other one. So it'll be it will always be like the
cheapest and most affordable games are just expensive. The games are just expensive,
but they're also like generally better. Like they had two Games of the Year
nominations last year, you know, a year, but here's what we have.
May have another one. I had one, wasn't it Mario RPG came
out too late? No, But I get it. Look at I get
what. I'm one hundred understand what you're saying from I don't know this perspective.
It's just one of those things that if you know, if if the
if the, I know, this would never happen. This is all utopia
speak. But if gamers rose up, if they gamers and we're like and
they were like, we're not gonna buy this till you just just keep up
with the current market as far as the standards of a of A graphics and
fps and all that ship because personally me, uh like, say, I'm
watching Jojo play the first one on our TV. I might have mentioned this
before, but since it's not a four K TV, it looks like absolute
fucking diarrhea, and I'm like, I just fuck this. I'm like,
fuck looking at this. You know, you can get used to it and
ship, but it's just one of those things where it just feels like a
fucking disgrace where I would have I would have dove on to and jumped onto
the Nintendo bandwagon if they actually respected me and and their base right like you
know, but I'm I'm the odd person out right because people are gonna buy
it anyway, so I gues I mean their as I care about it.
I care about performances. In fact, I care about perform but most crazy
I wish doesn't any way. I wanted to correct. I wanted to correct.
I wanted to correct the record. They did have two Game of the
Year nominations last year. I was totally right. It was. It was
here's the Kingdom and Mario Wonder. We're both the nominated for Game of the
Year. Wonder. Uh. I don't think Wonder was up there. I
think it was. I think Wonder got something. But now, literally I'm
looking at you, literally looking at it. I'm literally looking at I'm literally
looking at the website. It was. It was Alan Wake two, Legend
of Zelda, Resident Evil four remake, Mario Brothers, Wonder, Balders,
Gay three, and spider Man two. Mm hmm. I guess it was
the early ranking of Game of a Year because at the ending of it it
was only four games and Wonder was not there. Kingston Okay. Well,
when they when they did the really were like, oh, that's four games.
They gave four things that I'm thinking during the Game Awards four games were
there. There's always there's always six games for the category. I'm looking at
the website literally right now where it says Game of the Year nominations voting closed.
Win is Gay three and it's Mario Wondering fucking Tire's the Kingdom. I
knew that sounded wrong. There is a wondrous, frighteningly mid no dispect to
that game. It's fun. That game is I've played that game literally a
thousand times. That's that so fun. But it's like games, you know,
dude, Mario Brothers. We you Super Luigi Brothers. Mario knew Super
Mario Bros. Bro I can I can name off, like genuinely seven of
that game. That game is repeated so many times, like I see,
I see what you're saying. I think you said you played Mario Wonder times.
I'm like, no, you didn't. No, no, not that
exact game. I've played that kind of game so many times. Did you
play? Did you did you play the new one? Though I've played and
finished it. It's a fun game. It was just like this is a
kid's it's nothing from what it was before. I mean, that's kind of
the point. You're like Wonder and it's on the point of Mario. It's
it's geared towards E for everyone. So you know, I feel like I
war God's juse of Child should have been nominated for Game of the year.
I think that's wild. I honestly think that there should be a culture.
Look, I don't know, I don't know how well this would go,
how well this would this would go with a with a general audience. But
I feel like there should always be another one slot for Game of the Year
that is just completely just like people who really don't deserve it, so they
can spend time around people who are actually like they have to go to the
award show surrounded by all of these people who are so clearly above them,
and they know they're not going to win, but they have to sit there
and be surrounded by people way better than them and then just feel the shame.
There's even like a special camera that pans to them specifically when they lose,
Like when I look a like, dang, we made so much want
to appreciate people like EA and he point to the guy. You guys fucking
suck. All right, let's let's uh, let's get into some questions.
I do want to get into this one because it's something that I mean,
I'm going to choose to trust this. I don't know how I accurate this
information is, but I have no choice. I know I could just google
whether or not this is true. I refuse to because it's simply not worth
my time. But salty lemon road and he says, not a question.
I just want to let you guys know that pastrami is made from brisket.
The brisket is brined for like a week to ensure the salt penetrates through the
meat. I just didn't know this because I felt like there was like a
million different types of astramis. It sounds it sounds legitimate enough, like I
could believe that, right. If this guy's lying to me, then he's
going to have a rude awakening when he wakes up with a fucking gun in
his mouth. Because I refuse to be lied to. That's I refuse to
be lied to. Do not lie to me. I will kill you,
just to the extreme. It's not extreme. It's called standing up hating nickel.
And he's like, it's a weight and a fucking gun in his face.
Sometimes you gotta you know. I just looked it up real quick.
It is is legit. It is good. Yeah. I was about well
yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I thought I
could have sworn. I don't know. I don't know what I thought about
pastromi, but it was not. I didn't think it was brisket. So
I appreciate the uh man bris gets a bi. It's a pretty fucking good
meat man that I know that. That's that's pretty It makes sense though,
I guess, you know, it's all smoked, Like since it's smoked,
it's all pink and ship so I get, yeah, it makes sense,
all right. That information though, that information that was like one of those
things where it's like it wasn't worth the effort to google it for me,
And I was kind of thinking about like what what things are worth? And
I was thinking about how like like how low the twenty dollars bill has fallen.
You know, it's crazy as a like a bill, like you know,
like I remember doing crazy shit for twenty dollars. I remember jumping down
like a two story elevator shaft and rolling in high school for twenty dollars,
which is fucking really stupid, especially because I'm small, So that's like twice
the high really really dumb. White. It was very white. It was
very white. We were in a very white area. And to be fair,
this is really not a lot to do for you. It's for moments
where it's like you have your moments where you're you're probably doing things and you're
like, I'm not technically white, and you're already I was with You're like,
yeah, I'm already here. The group of people that I was around,
it's like I was pretty heavily outnumbered and this was something that they wanted
to do. I was like, all right, well, I'm not gonna
be let the moment where everybody's like getting caught for doing something stupid and they're
giving their names and you realize, hmmm, Smith Jackson, Kent, Oh,
I'm gonna get in trouble for this because I'm not white technically. Oh
my god. So so I was playing last night, I was playing Gears
of War. I jumped onto the original Gears of War. I'm gonna run
through the I'm gonna, I decided, I'm You're just gonna run through the
trilogy again in my off time, just because like, I love it.
But I could not stop seeing I could not stop seeing Trump and tray Ho
from Our From Our fucking Gears of War Daily Wire extra Ammo Rewrite, which
you can find on the Patriot patroon dot com. Slash the Star Tank,
by the way, extra extra, There's so many. There's so many,
Like there's there's moments that I just forgot about, like when he's like when
when Marcus is in like the the the what is it? The Raven and
the guy's like, you're Marcus Phoenix, right, the guy who fought at
as Will Fields. Wow, that's so cool and he goes not really,
And I just thought about like Trump would be like absolutely, it's cool.
Even it's like, this is the coolest thing. I saved your life.
You're not here without me. I fucking risked my life to save everybody I
would give me right now. That trilogy, that trilogy is in some respects
completely ruined for me, but like I I love it still. It's not
ruined in a way that makes it worse, but it's it's definitely like I
don't know, it's like what when like too many memes come from like a
series. It's almost like how some people feel about breaking bad, you know
what I mean, Where it's like there's too many. Honestly, I can't
watch that show anymore, dude, it's so many fucking memes. Early twenty
three was obnoxious. I think it's a great show. It's a fantastic show.
It's like there's like maybe two shows that put up their break. No,
well there's two modern shows and then two shows from like maybe like ten
fifteen years. I put up there with young I think this is us and
Game are up there with it. I think it's a long Sheldon and the
Good Doctor. For me, it's like those are top tier. And then
with the new series of Your Mind, Well, there's cover, there's a
new there's a new series. There's a new series coming out around about even
younger Sheldon. Did you see that infant Sheldon. It's it's called it's called
Sheldon eternally it's young even younger Sheldon's the name of the show. That's crazy.
Even younger, more younger Sheldon, a pompous piece of ship. He's
just it's literally just fucking baby geniuses, but with one it's just one baby
with no one to talk to. He's Stewie basically, Yeah, have you
seen Bruno? Uh that the previous them. The opening of Baby Sheldon is
Dick coming is a Dick Sheldon sperm flying up his mom's uterus and then inseminating
her. Like I like the idea of it going so far like you have
young you have big Bang Theory, then you have young Sheldon. Then you
have even younger Sheldon. Then you have more younger Sheldon, and then you
keep going and they have very very very young Sheldon. Yeah, then you
have conceptually in like the Sheldon Sheldon Jones. But the Shelby question mark is
this Sheldon question mark? Sheldy, Yeah, it shows up aborted. Sheldon
is is an alternative uniforse. I adore, I fucking adore the idea that
it's just called Sheldon. That's so stupid show because that because that the announcers,
because then like the marketing, like the like the in between like a
you know, like coming up next on Disney Channel, like like those types
of people, they would have to be like coming up next on Sheldon.
They would have to enunciate the question mark. I love that. Oh man,
all right, come come, come, come come. I don't know
how the I don't know how the the Big that's two and a half then,
isn't it. Yeah, it's just it's all the same to me.
I know the show show. I really hate that show. I hate Big
so much that show. Dick literally likes her. Dad likes that show.
They don't. They don't. I I want to. I want to sit
every person down that likes that show and convince them because I know I'm right.
I know I'm right that that show sun't actually like let's go get this,
let's go. Let's my benevolent dictator. I guess I wouldn't be so
benevolent in that because there would be a lot of people discriminate against. I
would brainwash and if they don't accept that that show isn't funny, I would
lobottomize them ad because it is. It is. It is a I've said
this before in the show, like, there's got to be case studies in
this in years to come on how these people tricked millions of people to think
this ship's funny? Because I still have yet to see a And to be
fair, maybe if I watched like an entire season, I get like maybe
three or four like Chuckles. But every other scene that I've seen did nothing
for me. And I'm like, I like a lot of Oh no,
I have I Am not just dick and fart jokes, guy, right,
I'm not. I have a wide array. I can enjoy a lot of
dry humor. It's it's very that's just not one of them. A lot
of those shows, to be fair though, a lot of those shows,
like say, yeah, those shows the CBS I think it was, or
ABC or whatever. I think CBS they're just not they don't do anything for
metten. They're just they're not good. I don't understand. It's it's like,
uh, even SNL. To to be fair, I think to be
fair, SNL to me was technically the writers were never funny. To me,
it was just the comedians at the time, like when the All Star
Cast, like you know, back in the day when like David Spade and
all those people were like killing it. I think that these are really funny
people and they just knew how to end prov really well. But I think
the right has always been ship in my opinion, I like a lot of
That's kind of the point of SNL really is like because like they have a
week to put a show together, you know what I mean, And it's
like a bunch of right, like the idea. It's kind of like Monty
Python, where like not most of Monty Python and most of SNL and most
most sketch comedy shows like most of it, especially if it's live, it's
gonna like most of it's gonna suck, like you're really kind of wading through,
like for the twenty percent of it that's golden, you know what I
mean. That's kind of what a lot of good SNL is. It's like
it's like the golden nuggets plucked out of like pretty mediocre episodes, Like iconic
iconic moments from like SNL are like like you could count probably months between them,
you know what I mean, In like it was more succession, like
it was more often in a certain period of time, you know. Yeah,
yeah, but still the early nineties group that was pretty consistently funny.
It all right, I feel I feel, I guess I feel I'm a
little bit harsher, and I feel like the vast majority of the show is
almost never funny. Uh. And there's like gold there's yeah, the diamond
in the roughs. Uh And and a lot of people that like say like
a big bang theory are the people that keep that show afloat, because god
damn, I watched I've I've given that show so many fucking chances, and
I was just like, I I'll put it this way. There have been
late night Jimmy shows and and monologues that I found more intriguing than a lot
of the skemes that I've seen. Yeah, easily, and I'm like,
what the fuck is happening? Yeah, it's good, it's it's crazy.
You gotta treat you gotta treat Saturday Saturday Night Live like it's a decade of
music you missed and you're just sifting through a playlist of like hits, you
know what I mean. Like it's just like you can't. Like I've seen
some clips recently, like from SNL that have been pretty funny, Like there's
a comedian Nate Bargatsy that was just on. He had like a cop he
had like actually like two good sketches, which is kind of nuts for like
modern SNL. Usually there's only one. Uh what Max. There's probably people
listening right now that are probably annoyed. I would say, die, no,
actually, just send me, send me, uh link me some shit
that you think, knowing who I am or who we are, send something
that you think, like, oh, you'll definitely like this because I am
I'm open minded. I was open minded with Big Bang theory. I gave
it multiple chances. I wasn't just I'm not a bandwagon hater at all,
and and then but it's solidified, it's it's there's a pretty there's a pretty
good one that I thought was pretty funny, which and it's largely because Nate
Bargaty as a comedian is so bad at acting that it like it makes it,
it makes it twice as funny that it's that it is what it is.
But he plays like George Washington founding the United States, and he talks
about like how he we're gonna make a nation that like like you know,
that arbitrarily measures things very differently and all this like all these like little little
things. And then he's like there's a black guy in his troop and he's
like what about what have men like me? And he goes, you asked
about the temperature, We're gonna go fahrenheit instead, and it's just like there's
something about it. He just completely completely and it's not it's not and that's
like a that's like a you know, that's like a Sea Tier joke in
it of itself, but it's like something about the how unconvincing this guy is
as George Washington, like really fucking it really sells it. But yeah,
I don't know. There's there's like some good ones, but it's like,
yeah, I don't know, it's snls is. I've given up on sketch
comedy until people link me things because even sketch comedy shows that I like,
like He and Peel, Like I'm watching a full episode of Ken and Peel
sometimes, I'm like that was one of those that was like really good,
you know, like they're all good, but like, yeah, like that,
I remember, I remember the episode with the burn victim insult comic,
like that was easily. That was easily that one of that episode, like
by a lot, and that snip is wild actually might not be more dude
that is that is probably one of my favor that that might be my favorite
sketch. I don't know. That might that might be a bit that might
be a bit intense, but it's definitely one of my favorite ones. It's
the same My favorite sketch is definitely the Zombies. I don't mean black people.
That ship had me in tears. I'm kind of I'm kind of realizing
maybe I haven't seen a lot of that show because you guys just named too
and I'm like the ghetto black names, like the like the like the things.
That's good. Yeah, That'sron. Duke married it is my favorite fucking
name. Duke marry it. I don't I feel like I feel like when
Keem Peeple succeeded that Chapotos is a motoralized show that it should be funny.
But why King Peele succeeded with Chappelle show did it? Is that Key and
Peel. I feel like comedy. What makes comedy work for me personally is
you have to be the joke at the end. Like your ridiculousness or your
wild reaction is what makes comedy funny for me. Like this thing may be
weird to you, but you makes it. It's it's it's like when you
watch babies fall out of skyscrapers and plummet to the ground and you laugh,
Well, that's just that's just that's just trauma. Laughing that I've become part
of my personality. Like that's what makes me laugh now. And it's sad.
It's really not good. I'm saying that babies get hurt. I watch
like people go through like really terrible situations and then I laugh at the situation
and then I found out they get hurt. I'm like god Man, and
then I watch it again. I don't know. Maybe maybe I don't want
to be just think. This is all making me think that maybe I should
give Young Sheldon another I say, another shot, as if I gave it
one in the first place. It was actually surprised. I've never seen a
single episode of Young Sheldon, but maybe I haven't been Yeah, I don't
know if I've seen a single clip of it, to be quite frank,
so maybe maybe I'll watch it. I'll report back to see if it's really
really life changing television. If it's not, you microwave my penis. Let's
go. Young Sheldon is so terribly bad that let's move on. I bet
I bet you couldn't sit through an episode of Young Sheldon. That's easily win
that bet. I bet you would dissociate. I bet you couldn't sit down
and focus on it. You can't. You couldn't sit down. You couldn't
sit down and then right up like just a quick four paragraph review of it.
I associate, I associate watching I'd associate watching things that I like so
like, no chance, no chance in hell? How many seasons was that?
Let's move on. I don't want to talk about more more than you
would assume, hey, sire, than you would assume. How many seasons
of Young Sheldon was there? What the android tell us? Six seasons?
My sin phone just told me that the fact that there's more than one season
of something like that is it is wild, is insanity. You know what's
crazy is that I read I read in like an article that like in order
because the show was going on way longer than they anticipated, Like they had
to keep shrinking Sheldon the actor, because he kept growing, like, he
kept growing, so they kept like they would shave him in the chins.
They would, they would shave his shins. They would throw him in the
dryer for forty minutes. They sk him for like twenty minutes a day.
They start whooping them. They gave him they get They took water out of
his diet entirely, only let him drink coffee. They threw him in the
dryer, They shaved his shins, they would, they would. They would
put him in like a really stiff, like full body straight cast and drop
him straight down from two stories so that his spine would compact. It's crazy,
speaking of a speaking of that that tactic that you just said, I
was I don't know how he got there. Oh. Someone was trying to
say there was a Mendela effect with the e t uh, saying that he
never said et phone home. But it's bullshit. He does. It's just
some people that are I think there's people trolling Mandela effects now. It's crazy.
Oh yeah, people are like the people love that, and I love
that. It's pretty good. It's pretty good, and so I would watch
it totally. Is it's actually pretty It would be a It would be a
good thing to start because it would go viral and then there would be a
handful of people in the comments saying no, and you ignore them. We
should do that, like next episode, next episode, we should just lie
like did you know that? Like you know this, you know that it's
actually the phrase from Superman. It's actually it's a play. It's a bird
and it's it's done. Yeah, that would be and people like, no,
no ship, no way, you did that good with the the wh's
is full metal? Sheen? Full metal? Yeah that was a good one.
But that's yeah, that's a guy like I do want to like I
do want to base it in something I do want to That would be fun.
Faked, like a fake Mandela, Like what is something like uh,
oh man, what is Yeah, we gotta we gotta work shop this off
off camera or something, because that's a good that's a really good idea.
Yeah, just be good lying to people. I love it. Things are
crazy because I don't even I don't even take time to get involved with them
anymore. I'm just like, whatever, dude, that could be true?
Like did you know the Food of the Loom thing was this? And I'm
like, I don't even care anymore, dude, whatever, Actually dick and
balls or something like. The thing that bothers me about that stuff is that
like we're past the point where we could ever truly know, you know what
I mean, like not really fruit of the Loom, Like because I saw
some by with like a shirt like an old shirt with the Cornucopia logo that
true to the Loom insists was never a part of it. But like,
fuck, do I know, Like you could just buy a label maker on
Amazon for like fifteen bucks and do that, you know what I mean?
Like it's over, Who's over? Like what person does that would do that?
That's the thing. It's like I would do that. I would reprint.
I would find the most authentic way to reprint that Pokemon card and spell
onyx the way I thought it was just so I could show it on a
video on TikTok and I would blow up and confuse millions, like I would
do that because because it's so cheap to do that. It's so cheap,
Like you used to be. You used to have to do crazy shit.
It used to be so expensive and so tedious to do that kind of thing
that it wasn't even worth it. But now it's like, bro, like
Derek's putting fucking moved Giant Dixon Omni man and getting eight million views. Why
wouldn't you, like, why wouldn't you just do this shit to fuck with?
Like, why not? Why wouldn't you just fucking lie? Just lie
with me, lie alongside me? Serpent of chastise, lying while also insisting
that he he's a good person every episode. I don't think. I don't
think I'm the best person. I don't think I'm the worst anyway. But
there's just no point of dis mistruth for no reason, like especially out of
boredom. That's so crazy kidding, I'm gonna I'm bored. I'm a fabricate
something. My grandma in case that was funny. Well, that's what I
was saying. Funny, That's what I'm saying. It's like it would be
funny, it would be funny. That is that takes no time out of
your day. Like I'm just gonna edit this real quick thing. That's fine,
whatever, I'll do this. I'm going fucking I'll go on photo shopping
photos. I go to photo shopping. I'm just I just put together.
But then like lying about the food of the loom thing, buying a fucking
label, buying a label and creating this fake shirt just to have people be
like, was that was that? What it was? It's insane. I
don't know, man, That's see. Here's the thing. The difference is
I understand why someone would do that because I see the I see the comedy
in it for the person doing it. I I don't have the energy to
do that though, Like I just don't. I don't care enough to do
that. But I see why people would, and that's why, like I
just I'm at a point where it's like I can't you can't trust anything now,
Like the Mandela effect is obviously just like your brain doing bullshit. It's
forgetting things it's not real, it's no alter alternate dimensions. But then like
a company will go, well, hey, we never actually did that,
that logo didn't exist. And then you see a label in the wild with
that fucking thing that they insist didn't never happened. And then you're like,
well, what the fuck is this? Why are you like? Why are
you fucking with us? Now you know it's I don't know, it's too
much. Let's move on getting stressed out. Uh, worm with a worm
sized worm with a worm sized gun? Rode in. That's fucking terrifying.
Interesting. So wait so is so wait a minute, is the gun?
So when he says worm sized gun, I assume he's trying to right,
it's it's not a gun that is the size of a worm, even though
that is, because then that'd be a hymn sized gun at the moment,
it wouldn't be a worm a gun size worm. How do you how do
you reconcile size to proportions when you're talking about a worm sized gun because a
worm is like long and thin, but like a gun has to be thicker
than that. It can't be like a long, thin gun, you know
what I mean? No, it's just a gun for this like. However,
however, a a nine M nine pistol for me, imagine a gun
that was proportionate to the size of a worm, not in the not in
not in like dimensions exactly, but in just proportionate size for you. Kill
you with a worm sized gun? Kill you? No, probably not,
Yeah, kill he wrote in he says, hey, they're legal mining operation.
Video game question for you. I have been and still am an oblivion
person. But I always felt like I missed out by not liking Skyrim,
But after trying the survival mode, I've been able to personally enjoy the game.
So it got me thinking, do you have any game modes or gameplay
systems that helped you get into a game you previously didn't care for. I
was about to make that like worse for some reason, but I just got
to say that it is. Man. I don't know, Man, I've
I've scarm is just a lot better. It's it's kind of bizarre to not
get into it. Yeah, well, to be fair oblivion, to be
fair to oblivion. Oblivion is fucking so funny. It's charging so no.
But like like the the the the unintentional comedy that happens as a result of
Oblivion being as jank as it is in a way that Skyrim isn't Skyrim's jank,
but it's not like Oblivion level jank. Like Skyrim's pretty polished in comparison,
which is wild, but Oblivion just has these like really awkward actors,
these really gross looking facial animations, these really like hilarious like why do I
come to the arena and then the guy like explodes and flies into the sky,
or like you have like a you have like a guy who's looking for
like I'm looking, I'm I'm looking for Gorthwyn window. He's in hiding,
and then you turn to the right and it's him and he goes, I'm
in hiding from the Imperial Watch. And it's like just these ridiculous moments that
are It's may I've missed out on Oblivion completely, Like I just didn't play
it, Like I played maybe five minutes of it before I was like this
plays like absolute dog shit and I refuse to play it. So I just
never continued with it. But it's it's like seeing these things online have made
me consider like going back to it or like trying any because like that's fun.
It's just comedy of it is. So everything is just so improved as
far as uh, especially like your fucking menu, dude, God damn.
Like it's one of the things where it's like, fucking off, it's horrible,
it's crazy, and uh, it's it's so it is interesting if somebody
is an Elder Scrolls fan and they didn't really get into Skyrim. It's interesting
to run into those people because it's, uh, because I know there's people
that are still like, oh tomorrow and superior. This is superior. I'm
like, I get what you're doing. I understand that. But as far
as just the way that Skyrim runs, it's just a better experience overall.
So it is interesting that that happens. But you know, to reach the
road. Uh. Now, as far as the question goes, Skyrim Survival
Mode sounds kind of dope. Actually, I don't think I ever thought ever
even that. Yeah, I've never. I've never thought about that either.
So I'm trying to think of like something, Oh I didn't I didn't get
into it until a specific mode, I guess. Literally, Actually I never
I never Modern Warfare Call of Duty. I never played the only game closer
to that. I ever played was Black? On PS two? Oh I
played Black? Yeah, I played Black, which was fun. Oh my
god, I haven't heard anyone mentioned Black in a long time. Did you
buy Yeah? Are you serious? And stuff like you get to like like
wrap people up with like shadow ten drills. That's that's no, that's uh
the darkness. I think, Yeah, this is just like that spec ops
or I forgot I don't remember what you bought Black because you're black, because
I guess I gotta play this game. I bought it specifically because I thought
the uh the the advertisement was cool. This nigga would be like Black and
it was all these shells on the on the cover. Like Black is a
game that I I totally it's weird, like I'm a big FPS guy,
but like I totally missed out on it. I think I just didn't.
I just felt like I wasn't allowed to play it or something. Black was
really fun. I only felt like it was. I even even at the
time I felt like I was going to fucking slow, like I felt like,
yeah it is. I felt like I couldn't, Like I was like
I let me go. I want to, you know. But anyway,
Uh, yeah, so I missed all of the Call of Duty's I didn't
play any I didn't play any Metal of Honor, any of that ship.
I didn't even play the first Modern Warfare. So Modern Warfare two came out,
and that's when you know, I, yeah, I skipped all that
ship. Model war for two got me hooked for a while where I don't
even I don't fuck with multiplayer like other than I did a little bit of
co op stuff online with Mass Effect and whatnot. When Mass Effect three came
out, I played that for a lot. But yeah, I normally don't
do pvps, what I'm saying, But that ship, like I prestiged like
one of my characters, which is something I never and I've never done since
then, because I just damn That's why I don't think I've ever done that.
Yeah, I fucking never again. But I was obsessed for a minute
at least once, and I think I had the option, and then I
was like I had the prestige, and then I was like, why the
fun do I want to get rid of? No? Yeah, why would
you want to start over again? I'm gonna reset my progress? Stupid.
I definitely did at least once. It's just it's just bragging, right,
it's so stupid. Yeah, I couldn't care. I could care, so
I couldn't give less of a ship about bragging rights and calls vide. I
was like, you're fucking out of your mind. I worked for all these
guns, I'm keeping them. I'm gonna I'm gonna low all you people like,
oh, yeah, prestige, have fun with your fucking unusable guns.
Stupid, but yeah, that's do you guys remember the first time you guys
used the famas for two Fuck, this gun is stupid as shit. The
first time I used that gun, I was like, this gun is fucking
dumb because I was just like, oh, I'm just gonna aim for the
head. And at least two of the shots hit the birds in the head
and they died. It was just like it's a busted. It's a yeah,
I really nice. I don't know. I'm trying to think of like
an exacting I think GTA online, the original Grand Theft thought of four got
me into Grand Theft Auto in a way that I wasn't previous because I don't
know, like putting in cheat codes and like getting a like a jet or
something in San Andreas. It was fun, but like it was still just
a sandbox of like AI, you know what I mean that we you're fucking
around with. But like when I when I learned that like GT four had
like a multiplayer mode where you could just like run around the entirety of New
York City and just mow other people down with your car, and just like
that shit was that shit was like I'm so excited for this. And I
spent hours in the original greandth Little four online. It was fucking ridiculous.
Me and I blind. We would get helicopters and we would like fly down
city streets and like tilt the blades so that they were like scraping against the
street, and just it was fucking ridiculous. The dude. I still,
honestly, I don't know how GTA five online is now. I just I
tried it originally and I just didn't like it. I felt like the overcom
they overcomplicated a lot of things with like with Vanilag, because like in GTA
four it was just straight up like free for all. You had like death
matches and stuff, but like it was mostly just like hey, you know,
here's New York City. There's weapons and equipment around the map and like
armor and stuff. Just fucking run around and have a good time. But
like in GT five they had like car insurance and like you had to buy
your cars and like you couldn't steal other players cars in a game in Granda.
Thought it was crazy. Yeah, if they had insurance, it would
like lock out and ship or whatever else. Yes, stupid. Yeah,
it just felt it felt too and maybe honestly, maybe it's dope. Now
I haven't played it since literally twenty thirteen, so maybe it's significantly better.
But I just I just loved the freedom of GJ four and how just chaotic
it was because that shit was you it just one back then? Yeah,
and what did it? Was? It? It did? But so Jesse
Online came out, I think like a month or two after, it was
still like a little bit. It was still a little It was a little
after. Yeah I remember that, but I know it was a little stuff
in your family and your parents and I was like, this is weird.
I remember playing you know, this is kind of not underdo. Then I
played it again, like maybe in twenty seventeen, I played it. I
played it over covid, over covid. It's wild. It was a wild
experience. It was like so much because when I had the Gang Wars,
so like people just hat like you if you had an alien suit on for
kidnap you and like beat your ass and like leave you random places like tah,
Like that's really fucking I'm kind of yeah, I'm kind of bummed.
I'm kind of bummed that I missed that, like because that I do love,
like Grandtha lit A four online is like some of the most some of
the fondest online memories I think I've ever had, like sincerely, like as
it's a little dudee running around New York City and fucking random people up as
hilarious. It's it's it's funny. So like I'm kind of I'm kind of
bummed that I let the initial kind of lame wave of g t A five
Online kind of sour me because I just never I never went back to it.
I feel like I missed that a long the cool ship. But anyway,
it's that's definitely the mode that I think of because I don't think without
without those memories of GT Online and Breadth of the Four, I don't know
if I would have bought They're playing and beating Grand the little five this like
this year, which I did, by the way, I finally finished it.
Oh wow, kind of backless. It's a long, very kind of
mad story story game. Very man. I disagreed to I thought it was
fucking SICKK five? Really did you say four? Oh? I haven't played
five? Well, I haven't finished. I haven't finished. I'd beat five
when it first came out, and I beat it again, like you may
be like, no, I beat I just I just finished four. It's
so funny watching my achievements because it's like my first achievement is like so,
I don't know, like two thousand and eight or two thousand and nine or
something, and then like the last one is twenty twenty four. It's so
crazy, it's insane. But anyway, what time is it? How much
time we got? We got? We'll do one more question and then we'll
back out. You're drinking prime right now. You're drinking prime. Man.
I didn't think you're gonna notice dance you got logan Paul's cocking your fucking throat.
I didn't watch you, and I didn't I was hoping me alla fu
get you look at you? Hey. I wanted a cheap, inexpensive,
non threatening energy drink because I'm having stomach issues again and so I'm trying to
drink something I shouldn't be drinking energy drinks at all, but I went hard
on the pain in the gym and I need something. I need to fix
that. Just it's cocky, your mouth, bro, it'sat Yeah, I'm
trying to get tweeted today, tweeted. I'll say that it has when you
say that, it has the energy of like a four year old coming Look
what I drew. Literally, it's a place where I dumped the stupidest ship,
my stupidest dude. That's what you stopped. Wait, hold on,
you did not stop the show to say that you tweeted that you did.
You did not. Just it's so stupid, so beyond stupid. Repeat again,
repeat again. I want I want everybody to hear hear what you what
you post on Twitter. I want everybody to hear the masterpiece here. It's
really, it's really, it's not special. You know you read it feels
a little a little more plump than usual. You know, that's it,
you know, just asking you know, all right, you feel a little
plump sometimes you feel a little more plump down there to you. You know,
yeah, maybe maybe it's a little bit more blood and the little more,
little more hog than you had last time. You know, I think
that's what I think. That is so actually common. You got a little
got a little more, a little more got a little more missed than p.
You know, miss thing p. It's weird. It's weird to even
notice that sometimes, Like sometimes I'll notice, I'm like, you're looking you're
looking thinner today, but a little fact today, goddamn bro, A little
Sometimes I'm a little disappointed. I'm like, hey, man, what's what's
going on? And then I get scared because I'm getting older, and so
I'm like, is this just is this? Is that? Yeah? This
is old pop on, like the hardest core of horn to like kind of
get myself a little amped up, you know, like just get a little
juiced up. But you're gonna start taking rhino pills. Bro. Do they
have I guess they have boner pills that are safe now? I don't.
I don't want safe ones. Yeah, yeah, you want those ones that
are gonna like damage your liver after like two fucking pills. I want I
want the ones that like I'm like I want the ones that, like,
you know, like in the fucking cartoons where like the character takes it and
they're like, I gotta use this one when I desperately need it. I
want those kind of ones. Dude. I don't have an excuse you,
because I can still do it whenever I need to do it, but like
when I need to, it's gonna be hilarious. All right, this is
a this is a good one. Bunch a hole through Lily, Dude,
this is a good one. I don't know about you, but my vote
goes to presidential candidate hilarious Rodham glitterists. I'm like, what if no mom,
no dad, and no sister. Damn? Oh really really really really
hit shit man, Damn, it is a good question. Trauma boys,
all right time, Welcome to Trauma cast. I'm sad. When was the
first time you ever noticed that someone you look up to is younger than you
are? Did it fuck with you? I remember finding out like nine years
ago that Joon Tron is two years younger than I am, and I couldn't
decide whether I felt hopeful that I could do that someday or more of a
mess than I already was. I love this question because I've come I've come
close, I've come close to this happening. I don't have any nothing at
all. Well, the thing that I noticed specifically was like a lot of
the YouTube animators that I knew, or a lot of the YouTube animators that
I was in high school watching, were either in my exact age or like
just one year older. And that kind of blew my mind. At the
time. I was like, what the fuck there are people like my age
making shit that everybody in my lunch room is consuming and like talking about.
That's when I'm fucking weird. When I find out found out that Lyle was
genuinely only like two years older than me, my jaw dropped. Yeah,
yeah, shocking, is really not much older than me at all? Like
that is I think two years older than me too? Zach, I mean,
Zach might be young. I don't know, Zach might be younger.
I honestly Zach Zach the same. Yeah, he might be a year older
than me. Yeah, I don't know, and two years older than you.
That's what's that. But so that's it's I've never had an experience for
somebody younger than me. I have definitely I have who Joey Bad asks,
my fair rappers when you're younger than me? Oh yeah, I don't know.
I would never. I would never listen to the music of people who
are younger than me. Like, here's no point, but it's wild.
It's wild. I'm thinking about it. He is, that's kind of crazy.
He's born in January. They have nothing to say. Really, that's
I mean the closest. Okay, okay, so the closest. Kendrick is
one year older than me, So that's what. Like, he's thirty six,
and so that's like the closest I get. I just looked on Wikipedia
because Jonathan Young is somebody who I admired. You, I think he's younger.
And wait, how old has been Young? John? Twenty eight?
I've had conflicting so I saw that he was twenty eight. But then I'm
like, I looked it up just to confirm, like where he was,
and I conflicting ages. I was like, wait, what is he?
So I guess, Okay, he's twenty eight, so that is pretty close
with him, he's twenty eight. That he's a lot younger than me.
And and I will tell you that ship. I get really upset when when
noone. That happens when I see someone who's a lot younger than me and
they're like, so they're so beyond it. But this happens. It just
happens to everybody. When do you think about it. Most people are sports
fans. They grow up watching sports, and then at a certain point everybody
is younger than them because all the other people aged out, they're all retired.
So I'm dealing with that right now. We're these these people that are
making millions of dollars. They're at in the height of their career. They're
fucking like they're like thirty years old. They're like thirty two, And I'm
like, fuck, So I'm experiencing what a lot of people experience. And
uh so it is weird though, because looking up is usually you're young is
fuck looking up towards people that have existed for a long time. So it's
rare when this happens. Yeah, I can't. I can't look up to
people who are younger than me. Though I can't do it, I can.
I can appreciate it. I can admire it. I can be like,
hey, that's good, that's a good talent. Man, that's that's
sick. Well, because I'm glad you dropped your pacifier to do this really
cool, fucking, really cool thing. God bless. It's weird. You
have to be like a non family is a musician family. They are musicians,
all right. I was literally just I was literally just messing him.
I gotta I gotta be there all musicians. He like, he is not
an abnormal, Like he may be abn melody because of how far he's taken
it when it's tell that Nigga to come back on the show, but he
wouldn't hit him up again. But he's not like they all play instruments,
and has his instruments to piano, which is insane. That's his instrument And
I'm like, like, that's your COMMUNI when he's like, yeah, I'm
a I'm a pianist, it's fucking weird. I mean everything, like the
most piano is the most versatile instrument. Now it's like it's the one that
teaches you that. It's just like, dude, you can play If you
can play piano, you can play anything because just plug it into a program
and it just it just Yeah, it's insane. Yeah, seeing his solo
is his key soul. You can tell that that is his instrument of choice
because like, while like it's like I would feel bad if, like,
you know, like for me, it's like with my favorite medical Like everybody
in my family is in a medical field for the most part, stuff and
my sister who eventually went back into the medical field. But I'm just like
whatever, you know, like I feel no, I will say, I
will say something similar to this. It's not exactly the same thing, but
it's in the same vein I guess is. There was a point, and
I remember this very vividly, there was a point in my life where I
started to realize that porn stars could be younger than me, and that was
disturbing that. I think it was like twenty I think it was like twenty
twenty three or twenty four. By the time I thought about it, I
was like, oh, m oh, huh, because when you're fifteen,
none of that, like you're not thinking about that. Ass that's a world
away from you, the world away from h mode. Yeah, that that
bothered the hell out of me. I remember this one time I girded up
my whole intick computer completely discovered in gert. I had to chisel it out
while I was too living out saw the Age of a pornstar. I was
like, damn, dude, twenty four. Fuck, I'm twenty four right
now too, felt really weird. We're gonna be at the age soon where
the milk porns I used to watch were definitely younger than us. That's weird.
The what is gonna be younger than us? It's gonna be crazy.
We already I'm gonna turn thirty and I'm thirty in three months, right,
Derek, you're thirty four, right, I'm thirty. I'm gonna be thirty
six in March. Give me thirty six and then you're thirty now right,
Yeah, I just turned thirty in like ten more years. Is gonna go
on part and I'm looking up. I'm gonna look up mature. It's gonna
be the same age as me. Bro, I'm gonna hit my h my,
my classic MILFs. I'm like, damn thirty. What I'm gonna I'm
gonna sit down and be like, damn, all right, I'm done with
this, that note on that. Let's get the let's get the fuck out
of here. Yeah, life is strange, Bro. I love that game.
No, I don't, No, you don't pretend we played that game
together. I've never seen you insulted game more viciously in my life. It
was for let that game live. It was for content to be fair,
like, I mean, whatever, you're having fun, you're you're sure you're
joking anyway, cant me the fuck down? Hurry up? Three two one?
Wait, hold on, I didn't have anything gonna start speaking. Sorry,
I had a I had this. Did you guys get the video of
Goku that I sent you in the chat? Yeah, where he's just like
talking ship. I love. I love that video so much. Maybe I'll
kill you. Yeah, all right, fuck fuck bitch ass Patreon. This
website can suck my fucking balls and my dick and cock. I love the
stammer. It's the stammer and the excitement at the end that really gets me.
It's like, yeah, I'll kill you, yeah, yeah. I
love the idea of go Goku being like I'm gonna beat you to you too,
you can't walk, or maybe I'll kill you yeah yeah. Like a
tone is fucking awesome. I love anytime a character stammers. I'm completely in
for it. I agree. There's I think you know what it is that
I I honestly think that's why Family Guy got so popular really early because there
was a lot of that going on, like the authentic like capturing of like
stammering in normal human conversation. Like there was a lot of that in early
Family I don't know if it's there so much anymore, but it used to
be like that that that I love that scene and like I can't rememberf it's
like one of the first three seasons or not. It's definitely early where like,
what is it Peter and mister petersman rob a train? Do you guys
remember that clip? Yeah? Really, And they're just having the like they
rob a train, but like they're just like train robberies don't really don't really
happen anymore. It's like really an old and and they're just kind of like
engaged in a really awkward small talk with the fucking ticket guy and then they're
gonna like, oh, well we're gonna we're gonna take your stapler and he's
like, well that's they're gonna dock that for my pay if you take it,
like it's your really only hurting me, Like you're not. It's there's
I don't know, there's something I love. I love that style of writing
a lot so smiling friends is quite a bit of too, actually, Zach
show, I love it makes everything better, dude, Yeah, fuck you,
gay system of a down be like we're left with no Colm right in
the power bottom. The song is bubbles. I like like people. People
are just the bubble. He didn't even try anymore to this is. This
is the name of the song. People are so sick of us not getting
it that they're just like, Okay, well, this is what I asked
you for months. By the way, for the parentheses, the song is
bubbles, I appreciate it. I have not heard bubbles though, so I'm
I'm in the dark with this one. Not really much of a system of
a down person, honestly, Like I've heard a little bit of it,
but I haven't actually dived in for like Toxicity and Lost in Hollywood and Chop
Suey and the big Ones. But of course I think I probably would have
listened to them a lot more if I hadn't lived in Glendale or Bank for
as long as I have. Because I hear the opinions of our media.
You know, I'm not saying I'm not saying it's like I don't mean in
like a derogatory way. It's not like racist. I'm just like, you
know, I've heard what you have to say on masks like I don't.
I don't need it with like a melody that's crazy, cuts off my nuh
uh a SpongeBob SquarePants more like blow job gay pants, that's dumb. But
I also can't believe I've never heard that before, bargains imprisoning me. All
that I see absolute savings, no parentheses on this one. Is that what
that is? It's absolute savings, absolutely gay at all. The next wave,
the premise is he's having PTSD for such good sales, and the sales
are too good, we should that should be a new honestly not a bad
idea taking song, you know, because because that is something that actual commercials
do, like they will take the patular songs and rewrite them to be about
like like I remember specifically Secret Agent Man uh for Walmart. They had like
a commercial in like the late nineties, in nineteen ninety nine, maybe two
thousand and one at the latest, where it was like that happy face going
around with like a Zoro mask slashing the prices to the song s Agent Man.
But it was like I don't know why this is stuck out to me.
Oh, because I thought it. I remember because I got chastised by
my parents because I thought it said secret Asian man, and they were like,
that's n as I did too. I did too. Literally, Age
hold On had for years secret here it is nineteen ninety nine. Well I
nailed it, Asian man. Yeah, my grandmother were so secret Asian and
it's just Keanu reeves so back in my back in my younger years, back
when YE had a lot of Asian friends, right, and my grandmother constantly
heard me make fun of my Agian because we made fun of each Obviously these
kids did to make fun of each other. Or my grandmother heard make fun
of my Asian friends so often she thought I was probably becoming racist to Asians.
So every time I made a joke like that, she would like,
fucking like call me. I was like, stop, that's not funny.
Quit that, and she's like, who talking about? What did his grandma
grandfather come back from nom and make him not like Asian people? Like what
pushed him down this road? And I was like, Grandma, it's I'm
just repeating silly things. I hear like, it's nothing anything like that.
He's like, dude, seeing this, seeing this fucking commercial again, I
put it in the chat. I can't fucking believe how how effective this thing
is that taking me back to that time. It's fucking ridiculous. But uh
yeah, they changed it to seek mister rollback Man, which is which sucks.
But like the idea is that he was slashing all the prices and stuff.
I see, but but he's not Zoro. He's doing the James bunch.
I was like the way you described it, I was like, they
so they mashed up two things. Yeah, I remember it. I think
it's just because I remember the sword being I remember because I do remember him
having a rapier in one for sure. Yeah. Yeah, but do you
guys remember the there was like did you guys ever want past the time?
But they used to play cartoons on Channel five, like way back in the
day, like back maybe I don't know, I remember watching cartoons that I've
talked to people about cartoons that nobody remembers and it and it just it makes
me feel crazy. So I have I've learned to stop talking about cartoons,
like talking about Dolphin and people telling me it's not real, and I'm like,
well, talk about well, I'll talk about stuff like hey, remember
Lloyd in Space or like or fucking uh uh uh the the Jumanji cartoon,
and everybody would be like no, and I'll be like, okay, sorry,
and then I'll apologize like earnestly because I don't want to put that position
walk out the room anyway. The point the point of bringing up secret Asian
man walmart in the fucking credits which are apparently going to take six hours,
is uh we that's not a bad like to make to like if we pick
a company, right like Epstein's Island. It's not a company, but like
let's say, for instance, that it is, and then find a song
that we can like write like a commercial version for like that could be kind
of that could be kind of fun island. Yeah, yeah, you know
do you know Gola Gola Island the theme song to that I I don't remember
raped together in Oh My God's anywhere. Let's go to Jeffrey Epstein's Island and
then there's that, uh and then we'll have the announcer coming well, the
female announcer talk about like how like tickets to Epstein's Island are free if for
everybody with six kids anyway. Anyway, Leon, Sam's big meaty stinks Andy
the man whose handies are stre and Dandy names Son? What names son?
GOCKU not cock a rot? Okay, I don't know what I'm saying.
That's like gotk and not cock a rock cock? Got yeah? Got cock?
Derek quick picture, Chris and Kingston both gazing into your eyes while they
simultaneously corn cob your cock? What is corn cob? What is that?
It's like people, you know how people eat corn cobs in a very aggressive
manner. Sometimes it's like that. That's crazy. Heke smoth, he smoke,
Heath smoker, homeless trans woman giving y'all the f slur pass Hell yeah,
I mean it's too late. I already said it right, So it's
it's too late. Just set it and forget it, Set it and forget
it. Only sleeping with only a shirt like squid word is peak. Yeah,
it's all at the space. It's the silence that makes it okay.
Sleeping with only a shirt. Sleeping with only a shirt like squidward is peak.
Jesse pink pickman, Uh Colin sleeps like that, By the way,
I hate that. I I don't I don't understand how it's like a cartoon
car he does that. Can you imagine going to bed with a T shirt
and no underwear? Like sincerely, like, that's so fucking animalist. He
wanted to poose it. It's crazy. That's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's
disgusting easy access. I don't get it. Just no, there's immediately have
sex immediately. What am I supposed to do? Oh my god, have
some fucking patience and resolve. He wanted to poose it. That ship's hilarious,
bro, that is that's great. I like that fucking crazy to me
to have some pants on and shirt off, which is normal. He's like,
nah, funk that that. I sleep in jeans and no shirt and
boots, like I sleep in just my blazer. You know, it's really
crazy. It's so it's that's oh my god, it's I've definitely fallen asleep
blazer once. I've definitely like laid in bed and just passed out after a
wedding and just been like two man, Yeah, that's the first thing that's
coming off. Well, the thing is, it's like I wake myself up
taking all of it off, like straight up, like I'm I'm stumbling into
my room. And if I take the energy to take my belt off,
take my take all that ship off, it's I'm I'm awake now, or
more awake than I would be. And then it's so it's like, you
know what, I'm just just gonna pass out. This is I'm not gonna
make a habit of this, but for tonight or it's the exception Rise against
re education to the sound of a black eye panting away, to the rhythm
of the thrusting deep inside may homeless transferm whose resolution is to fuck Alexander and
the horse eating Philadelphians. Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot about that.
We talked about how people horses. Yeah, I just saw that Chunnel
five documentary about that. Oh yeah, but the uh, the zombie zombie
land that's Kensington, Kensington, phil Kensington, Pennsylvania, fucking insane. It's
it's ridiculous. There are people scraping on the ways, face off. Yeah,
they're all on tranks. Literally their flesh is rotting. It's crazy.
It's it is. It's literally a zombie apocalypse in Philadelphia. This is what
I'm talking about, Like, man, Philadelphia is what people think so many
places are what people think New York is and Philadelphia and Boston are those places.
Like it is crazy, how standoffish. Everybody in Boston is like to
an unreasonable degree, like unreasonably like mean, like for no reason. They're
really proud of being called massholes. I think that's the problem. Yeah,
somebody gave them that name, and they're like, yeah, like, let's
embrace them at a nine to eleven also kind of even though it was only
like a fraction is bad. But we'll talk about it a lot. We'll
talk about it so much. That's so fucking rude. But I'm I'm with
it. Oh, big deal, big deal, your marathon got bombed,
big fucking pressure cooker or some ship by a pressure cooker, by a pressure
cooker, some fucking like what was it, some guys from like Chechnia or
wherever the fun they were from, I don't remember, get by a pressure
cooker. That's like somebody microwaving the Statue of Liberty into the ocean. That's
fucking embarrassing. Oh, we put a fork in a microwave and put it
in the Statue of Liberty and now now it's a Now it's gone that's just
that's wild. I love, I love how horrible you guys are in Philly.
I think Philly's so fine. Have you lived there? I've never lived
there, Now that's the problem. Yeah there, everywhere's fine to live there.
Everyone's fine until you live there. San Francisco's great until you live there,
and then your car is always broken into every It is wild. It
is crazy how often people's cars are broken into in San Francisco, Like,
sincerely, it makes you there? Are you people leave their doors open,
like open like a jar, just to prevent people from busting their windows.
It's outrageous. It makes sense, that makes that's such a making sense thing
on people like you feel. But I'm like, well, like, how
many fucking homeless people are there, dude? I mean that there's a lot
of homeless people kind of everywhere. It's still not there's a lot of homeless
people in LA and I still just still wouldn't expect my cart. It's crazy.
It's it's worse there. It is actually worse there than his here.
Well yeah, I know, but like it's still kind of like, it's
not homeless people breaking into cars, though I would assume it a good portion
of them are No, it's just people stealing. It's not homeless people not
that also homes you on fucking thieves, you know, yeah, would be
like, listen to our audience, it's all homeless. I am. I'm
a thief. I'm Derek the homeless Thief. I will steal your come.
Do you think I got all this equipment? I got this, this seat,
there's there's microphone. I will steal your sperm out your nutsack. Don't
fuck with me, bro, How would how would you do it? Would
you do it with like a capris on straw, you'd like I would do
it with a knife and a a broken straw, a knife and a broken
straw, But I would get it. I was just gonna be curious and
beat it out of them. Jesus Christ many where you just beat it out
of them and then then you siphon it that one blood born death screen.
Bitch where you where? Bitch? Where you when I had this cock in
King Kuma, I don't know. You are tuned into ninety seven ninety eight
point seven w R R I P with Negro in this big mariachi music with
fog horns. I want some cock sludge. I love to swallow man splooge.
I really love to make this dick cry so tonight. I'm sucking this
this guy's ball sack by Cman m uh The Star Tank is my favorite Marxist
podcast. Very cool, Yeah, very cool? Uh fuck it? Carry
on with the Britton slander. Shit sucks here. Listening to Sweeny makes me
consider racism. Sweeney, thank you for being the voice of reason. Chris
should kill himself baller of the first sin iron deficiency man spums, I mean,
I mean somebody said no, mom, no, Dad, no sister
earlier, so like I don't, I don't know. It's pretty cool that
anything would surprise you at this point, is crazy, spum spum befutters.
What the fuck? Uh? Sweeney is just start? I just started watching
one piece. When will my skin turn black? Also come to Sweden,
we've discovered mule near that would that's a lot to handle, Like if that
was in the news that like Mulenir was found. Like there's a hammer.
No one can pick it up. It's not even heavy, no one can
pick it up. I'm sure it's just a kid, like the fucking aliens.
I'm sure it's just a kick like aliens, Like what if it's not.
What if it's like not though, Like that's the thing, Like things
like that are funny until it's like went away so fast, it's it's wild.
Like people just all we all forgot about the Mexican aliens. Instantly,
we knew they were fake. It makes me look like anything else, man,
make them look like anything else. Make them look like an offshoot of
squid or something like raise, come on, you do make them look like
squids with pussies on their fucking body. But also that sounds kind of cool.
But ew yeah, because then all of a sudden, now we're intrigued,
we're gonna talk about it, We're gonna try to break it to the
facility and fuck them. That is kind of do you remember? I say,
it is kind of wild that the universal consensus to like the agreed upon
joke that everybody had about Area fifty one was that yeah, we're gonna,
yeah, we're gonna break in there and rape them like that was like that
was just the that was just crazy, Like if you really think about that,
crazier would you say that that is true? If you No one sat
down and said that, but that is what that is what the joke was
that like, yeah, we're gonna go into the facility. Like imagine,
imagine if you were observing ants, right, if you were observing ants,
like you somehow got like a little drone, like an ant sized drone to
go down into like an ant colony or whatever, and you went into a
boardroom and then you saw a bunch of people being like, we're gonna fuck
that. We're gonna fuck the people against their will when we find them,
you'd be a little perturbed. I think, maybe just a little. Maybe
it's a little anyway, jolly old dipshit. Could you nut in the can
you? Could you nut in the vacuum of space? Or would it freeze
in your urethra mm? What would what would happen to come in space?
I'm sure because like I keep hearing conflicting information about what space does to people,
Like I heard a long time ago that the conception that you would boil
was wrong. The conception that you would freeze instantaneously was also wrong. So
I don't I'm not going to pretend like the freezing one was the accurate one.
There used to be one. People say your head would explode. I
know that's not real. There's but apparently you don't instantly freeze. I think
I don't know, but like I'm just saying, like I've heard like actual
like scientists talk about, like how there's like really drastic misconceptions about what space.
You are not going to survive at all, and you won't live for
very for like even a proud probably a fraction of a second. But what
happens to you, our idea of what happens to you is very not what
we think it is. But then I just couldn't remember what the fuck it
was. It's a place, it's a place that's below freezing temperature to an
extreme degree, and it's no, it's no atmosphere. Your head blows up,
your your organs fail, they explode or I think something your organs,
But it's something like you freeze so much, you freeze to the point where
you're basically boiling or something. I don't know. I don't know. Look,
fucking I don't know. I've never been in space. Yeah, why
don't we just put them? Why don't we just put somebody who Look,
Look, Okay, I'm gonna say something. I understand that I understand that
this is unethical, but we are we are very curious people. We want
to know what things do. Yes, I've always kind of wanted to see
somebody fall into a woodchipper, to be completely honest with you, like just
just just for the shear, just for the because I'm so curious about how
quickly, like what like how quickly? And space is one of those where
like I just want to know what happens to a huge like a real human
body in space. Can't we just find like a pedophile or something and just
record it just so we know, Like I don't like this theoretical ship that
we're doing, you know, like where where we just have to like assume
what happens because you know they've done it to chimps already, right, No,
they see it. Yeah, see if they have the footage of it,
you know they do they Oh yeah, of course they do. They
have footages. They have footages of monkeys experiments, just like there's footage of
experiments that they test on animals on planet Earth. For sure, when they've
when they've blasted dogs and apes and stuff into into orbit, they definitely recorded
it to see what happens. But then they would absolutely be crucified if it
ever leaked out, So they probably after they conduct the experiments, they probably
kill the people to make sure that they doesn't leak out. That's crazy,
but for sure, Like why wouldn't they Why wouldn't they record their findings?
I don't know. I just think it's people really die in space, Like
has anyone tried? I really thought that for a while, Like how do
we know people die in space? I really believe that for a little while,
you know what, because they saw them, they saw I'm like,
wow, I do love I do love the people who believe like the moon
landing is fake. I love those people. Those are my favorite people.
I think. Anyway, let's move on. I don't think it's fake.
But like, if it was fake, I'd be like, all right,
cool, that's right. I thought it. I don't know. I didn't
have a dog in that fight. For a long time, I thought like,
if it's fake, like whatever, I could believe that we I could
believe that we would want to do something like that. But then like,
I don't know, there's just too much about the foot Like there's so much
about the footage that would be harder to fake around that time, like even
just the way that the dust reacts to to like how they're moving around like
it just it would It makes no sense. It could. It definitely seems
to be real. That's why I stand by it's real. The big thing,
it's like, oh, why haven't we gone back? It's because there's
nothing there. It's a fucking moon. Like we've seen we've won money issue.
It's like, oh, we're gonna spend six billion dollars to go to
the fucking moon again so we can get more nothing like, there's nothing up
there. So I think India went back way because India was like, hey,
we finally have some money. And then they they're like, we're gonna
go on the Dark Side of the Moon or something, the Dark Side of
the Moon or some ship like that. And I'm like, that's cool,
but you know, you're disating a shipload of money to feed your population.
You know, it's crazy. I think something just do that. I just
thought something wild. It's wild because of like how poor India is on average,
and they're like, now, how long how long do you have to
work at a call center before you've saved enough money to go to the moon.
That's crazy. Given sometimes like just do it. Do it? The
what's your real name. It's not Paul, tell me your name. Don't
disrespect me, you that bro. I mean, it just shows how Americans
are because it's like the fact that they have to do that at all whorts
like nigga, I know you're outsourced. I know this. I'm fine with
your nameshi or whatever. It's a it's a listen people, some people freaking
your name is it is me John Williamson. And you're like, no,
dude, it's okay, it's okay. In the tam yeah, please tell
me you really works with a bunch of anyone. I'm good works with a
bunch of them, right, Like my girlfriend does. She does obviously does
tech work, but she works with a bunch of people from India and they
all just give their real names. They're like, oh, yeah, my
name is my name is like Lily or likes my name is Lily. I
have I have a degree. But it doesn't matter anymore for her. It
does for us, It wouldn't for her, it doesn't she has the job
already. It doesn't matter, like if you know, yeah, yes,
I have a degree, but it doesn't really matter because I'm already working.
It was it was a way some time for me to spend all that money
on nothing, but uh, I'm dating. I'm dating a piece of shipmen,
love, live, laugh, love, bro. I'm not upset about
it, Lily, a piece of ship. I love. Impersonating. My
favorite thing is impersonating women is so fun because like we just we can't so
like we just default to like, have you heard my this is gonna This
is not going to be fun for anybody listening because it's it relates to just
somebody that me and Kingston. No, but you have you ever heard my
impression of Alex kingson which Alex are Alex are our friend, our girl,
Alex our friend, our friend. Yeah, what is it? Let's hear
it. Let's hear how rude it is impressive of its Like, hey,
it's me Alex, and I did that for her dad. I did that
in front of her dad, and her dad's like, that's so accurate,
man, that's so fucking accurate. That is not how she sounds at all.
It's funny that you do that, though, because I essentially, whenever
I'm doing an impression of a woman, it turns out a March Simpson I
sent you, Yeah what I do? Hey, it's me Joe Joe,
I always do. That's like, yeah, that's how I sound. Yeah,
it's me Lily, my I can't, we gotta, this is gonna
be with We can't let that happen. How sounds that it is exactly how
Lily sounds. It is exactly it is. I've heard Lily say all of
these things verbatim at least seven times in the last week, and I haven't
even seen her this week. I'm ruining the upholstery of a four to f
one fifty with the boys becoming homeless to support the homies. Cypergraph gay Peter
be like, I'm gonna put some dick in your mouth. That's crazy crazy,
that is evasive. Brude Melmo found at in New York City apartment,
getting loud in the clubs, smoking meth in the McDonald's play space. Damn
damn oh greens and tidy tables, and welcome back to Snart Tank, a
gay racist podcast. This is episode three hundred. My name is Carl Moriarty
and I'm gay. Whoa nice nice rideing? Uh? Andy? Why you
so gay? So Andy? Why you so gay? Are you homo?
Andy? Have you been dicked down? You've been dick you Andy? Why
okay, I see Andy? Why you so gay? Yes, it's smooth,
so Andy? Why you so gay? Are you homo? Andy?
You've been dicked down, You've been fucked in your smooth booty hole. I
do like I do like smooth booty hole as a as a as a replacement
sweety superpowers, being constantly wrong. Back to tank of com, Caucasian container
and the crackle bell for gays, Donald Trump burping on Dom's clip fight me,
Greg Mill for what you have done to my boo? Do Christian girls
squirt holy water? King Kong's ding Dong rode in. All I want to
do is bust inside a guy or two. I'll fuck them and then I'll
fuck you. Thank God we're gay parenthesies. No rain uh she pipkin on
my pippa possum is gay and homeless. F slur on the roof be like
if I was a gay man. Yeah, yeah, but F slur on
the roof. That's such an insane thing here. You know what's crazy is
that that is such an insane thing. It works better if you say f
slur and not and not the actual slur and actually, yeah it should be.
How about the inward with an ellen there on the roof. If I
was a gay, that is such a great that's there's nothing better than that.
And n word with the ellen. It is such a good sounding word,
dude, it is is It's terrible. It's like, damn, I
can never really use this word, but it sounds so funny going nigger.
Yeah, yeah, Chris, yeah, Chris, exactly, that exactly,
and lure on the roof, Hey, get down there, nigga, what
you doing? Hey, we do do up there? Buddy's da up there?
Do get down, get down there. Black. I love the idea.
I really do love the idea of buying the video game Black because you
saw it and you're like yeah. I was like, yeah, well,
yeah, of course I gotta get that form. That is so crazy.
I was and the and the and the clerk was like, oh, you're
here to buy Black, right, And I directed right to it. Broye.
He took the money out of my pocket and then you walked and he
walked past the game stop. He was like, wait, went out there,
grabbed Remember I remember when I walked in. I remember I walked into
a game stop looking at Puerto Rican as possible, and I was like,
Hey, I'm here to buy grand theft thoughto and he's like, I actually
think you're just here for theft obviously, it's just how theft do you want?
Idiot? How many copies it? Yeah? You must be here for
theft three or something? Uh mean wild? It was just called theft,
average clit energy. What starts with my hell cat is pushed to start and
ends with her just the hard r star coffee. Yo, I can work
on gangst the Quest? Yo? Can I work on gangst the Quest?
Derek? Some guy I remember some guy I wrote and thought it was Edward
quest Derek. Check out checkout Speed of Light. Uh petition to turn Starlight's
actor actors face back to normal? Yeah that's yeah, Yeah, yeah that
is that's some That a thing is really fucking tragic. Wait what was that?
That was so Aaron? Aaron Moriarty? I think, right is her
name? I think the actress, the actress who plays oh my god,
uh star Starlight in Uh the boys got like buckle, fat, rouble and
ship. Yeah, just all sorts of stuff. And how old is she?
How old is she? Yeah? She was weird. She looks like
an alien. Now she looks like a fucking alien, like like like it's
so that alien sad. She's twenty nine, she's younger than me, dude,
and she I can't believe she's what happened. She was she was such
a son, She was such a like, dude, she was like the
exact thing that I would picture when I when I woul think like the like
the like literally the girl next to or you know that you would have like
a crush on. It's like, this is what a what a nice looking
person, just genuinely and then just that's yeah for sure. And then it's
just like now she just looks she straight up looks like a fucking alien and
it's so and I don't I don't say that to be like, oh,
you know, fuck this person. It's not even like a just like I
understand it's mean, but like I just feel so sad when I see that,
because I'm just like, dude, people look you look fine, like
you look fine. I want I I really do think that there's and we
talked a little bit about it on the Extra AMMO, where like I feel
like there's this we really put women on a pedestal in this weird way where
like it's really fucking with them. It's it's really fucking with them in this
in it like oh hey, Kylie Jenner and the fucking Kim Krashi and all
these people like like make up all the time, filtered all the time,
and then they're just like if you look normal, it's not okay, and
it's like, dude, like you're fine, Like you are fine, Like
truly her, she's an extreme example because what did she see that made her
feel that she wasn't attractive. It's especially when the amount imagine the amount of
thirst trap, not thirst trap, the amount of thirsty messages she would get
from being on that show, Like what it that? That's I get regular
people getting to it. I don't know, man, that shit is.
That's probably the biggest example of like an unfortunate Yeah, a situation of that
where it's like you were so above average as far as like conventional attractiveness and
you still were like, nah, I gotta fuck myself up. Yeah.
I don't know. I just I wish more people were just kind of comfortable
with like who they I don't know. It's something I want your message to
come from. It's it's a weird message to come from this podcast, which
is like so mean and just fucking derelict and and just fucking in the gutter.
But like I it does make me sad to see people just like that,
unhappy with themselves that they're willing to completely fucking butcher themselves in this way.
I only care so much, you know. But like, like,
I don't know, dude, I don't. I'm not really a fan of
Drake, you know. I don't hate him or anything. But that one
line where he says, like sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup
on, that's when you're the prettiest. I hope you don't take it wrong.
I've always identified with that a lot because that I in that scenario where
the girl is just chilling no makeup in normal fucking clothes, Like, that's
when I'm like, that's top tier, right there, Yeah, chilling,
no makeup, her Rod's out, yeah, just out there, this fucking
pride knife and plumb. I'm like, damn, dude, I can't wait
till my girl straps me up. And I can't wait till my girl mounts
me. Bro. I stopped. I stopped. I stopped paying rent so
I could be a real fan transform Gremlin appreciate. Make sure that money goes
doors though. Yeah, yeah, give us send us the money you would
have spent on rent, like right now, send it to us right now.
You sweets coming for you for sure? Uh? All right? So
transferment exposing people with lactose intolerance and niney million rodgers of ionizing radiation yoush not
Vin Penn, God damn it. Come on, bro, we need homeless
gear. Homeless They can't buy it, but like, yeah, yes,
I mean you know, they can save it for like six months and then
get something. So we'll get play at a loss. We'll save it,
We'll, we'll, we'll well, we'll just spend all of our money making
homeless murs to sell it for one dollar and then we'll go bankrupt and then
and then we'll and then the show will be over because we can't afford to
do it. I like it. Yeah, the angelic DM big dudes fuck
the living shit out of me. Jesus. They could care less as long
as I'm on my knees. So take off your clot. I don't know
clothes I assume is what that is. But it cuts off you. Guys
gotta be really mindful about how long you make them because it's just straight up
cuts off. I don't know about you, but my vote goes to the
president presidential candidate. Hilarious Rodham clitterists Craig the Canadian. This episode of Shark
Tank or Star Tank is very normal, I swear kind of is it's your
boy? Shawne d Daily Wire present Matt Walsh's what is a Black Ben and
Jerry's Funky Monkey If they ever make a Smash Brothers movie, Paul Just of
Washington to play Master Hand and Crazy Hand racist racist, Alanis morrisse At be
like, and what did you expect? They're n words, parentheses, ironic
melody. That's what you get when you trust a black person. What that's
in words? When they're stealing cakes. I don't know. I don't know.
I have a black black, Amy Black, Amy Black, because Amy
black, I can do gay shit, have iron like I got I gotta
switch my I gotta switch my meter if I really want to get racist with
the songs, like if it's like clockwork for me, bro, it's really
bad. It's really bad person, it's really fucking it's some ship. Dude.
You probably collap with that one. Dude that that hard our song you
know, Edward Edward, Edward Ardward, you know it's crazy. I make
songs like that, and I laugh about it and I lay down. I'm
like, don't what would what would Donna Summers think of me? And I
tear up a little bit and I go to sleep. You don't tear out
there, He's never take a little bit like one. Tear wells up.
And then I watch a guy fall off building. I'm like, well,
I watched, I watched. I watched Kingston fold his dog into five in
five different directions, put it in an oven, turn it on, and
not shed a tear because he was that low on foot, like he was
just that hungry. Crazy. The idea, the idea of someone doing something
like that and just going about their day is so horrifying, I know,
to imagine having to see it. Such a three x three x O inventing
a new sect of Islam where you get seventy two fan boys after blowing up
the bathroom, uh, slurping, stroking, smoking, joking, emoticon's going
like this homeless drip at age, Lord of Homeless Drip, Dean Martin voice,
Ain't ain't that a dick in my ass? That's funny. That's really
funny. That's Ain't that a kick in the head, right, that's good?
I like, yeah, OBI want you blow me? Uh Norwegian game
dev? Let me dev you'r let me devel up your game. Mister Blackman,
You've got a lot of people wanted to make Gangs the Quest. Oh
wow, wow, I mean Norwegian, So I don't know how. I
don't know how true to form he can really capture Gangst the Quest? Did
you find out Gangst the Quest was made in like fucking Finland or something?
If like Remedy made Gangst the Quest, I'd be baffled. It would be
man funny to see their take on gangst Black American gangst the culture. I
would love that they like, good, you're finally awake, nigga and not
understanding in ward they would make up the hard ship. It would be watermelon
and sheep's head. Someone stole your corn bread. It's just all it's just
all like, it's just it's just it's just like, oh, that's probably
what an a I would do, like, hey, could you could you
make a Skyrim mixed with san Andres and then it would just take those lines.
Is that dragon parthen Parthax, I forget part and that parth and X.
Yeah, why does it sound wrong? Because it's been a long time.
I think that's very true. Can we finish this guy's we gotta finish.
Yeah, yeah, we gotta go. Oh yeah right, Kremlin and
Grandma. And if I hear one more chumba Casino, I'll kill and I'll
kill you deep Cavid Appleton, Oak fucking police coming hard as I thrust some
brown abby. I don't want to be queer anymore. By rise against Donkey
crying out. Shrek helped me as Kingston savagely beats him to death while dual
wielding hammers. That's crazy, hell stri please he's killing me, Strick please,
I like they have it being two small hammers, like really tiny,
like ballpeen hammers. Uh wage slave five to eighty three A sad guy from
Michigan down bad for a helicopter Dick emoticon so I can see Chris going emoticons
going like this to it the Peppini brothers and pour him all right, snark
snark Tank feasts your eyes on that gay doctors mix. Donk Donkerson, Monk
Giatsu. You gotta pay the trolls. Hold to get in the boys,
hold gaye six. I can mathematically prove why liking fanboys isn't gay, fellas,
give me a second, please listen. Just be gay. Yeah,
there's literally not a there's literally no problem with being gay. I want to
hear your video essay on it. Yeah, can give you give a video
essay? You know what if you well, I can't call you by name
because your name is what you said. But if you the person who wrote
this, make a video essay and send it to us, we will review
it on the show. We'll have an extra AMMO dedicated to it. How
about that? Yeah, that'll be fun. Bilbo Faggins be like, I'm
going on an adventure but gay of course. Of course, silly classic.
Yeah, that's as Dildo Swagons is another one. Uh uh, here comes
the come do doo doo. Okay, here comes the boy. I forgot
about that. I forgot about that. That's what it is. Pretty much.
It's just no, it isn't is it? Yeah, you're right,
you're right. It's some TikTok meme from like twenty twenty one Master of Baiting.
I'll come on his face Metallica if I were gay if I were a
gay man with a femboy or two an evil lesbian Gumball's voice actor calling a
dream the f slur Sandman dot Gov, John Strickland, Nick Kerrs, Upcoming
arch Nemesis, Noah k Naga Nice the College basket Football Arc Marks eighteen eighty
nine. Synagogue of Keith David check out our junnals. The First Church of
Keith David featuring Paul Joseph Watson's massive fist waffle punching his shit down the sink
train. The Second Church of Keith David featuring being better than the First Church
of Keith David. Pre Roz Blake eight nine six. Crypto scammer and YouTube
station logan Paul winning the United States Championship a we cron duel. He said,
Son, have you sucked the balls? Would you? What would you
say? If I said that you cock? Just grab on this dick.
You'll even get laid. I know what you're trying to do. You're trying
to do a hero of war by rice against If I said that you cock,
doesn't make sense, fix that it's almost fine. You'll even get laid.
Its perfect because you'll even get paid. Is the line. Uh,
Sween would rather die than deal with furries, yet would gladly fuck a girl
who can turn into a cat. Yeah, Sweeney's mentally ill. We've established
this. I literally like furry arc is gone like that. You're fine?
Yeah, okay, A little dishrag, A little dishrag. This happens off
screen. I guess for him. Britney spears toxic with the taste of your
dick. I want to ride your cock tick. I'm sipping inward. I
remember this one. I'll ask an oilfield trash Texas state of Salad, suck
me cocktra Uh sue hulk tickle my ass hair is nikky ziggy, good friend
of the show, Marcus currently working on what Marcus currently working on? Turning
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frying bacon with my shirt off. Melphus won the angerous crowd enjoying the view
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