Energy. Not sorry. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing
today? If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here,
so keep listening. I'm that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh,
other times a baby girl, We're gonna cry, but we will always walk
away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self. That is positive baby, and
total connection with herself. If you're ready to gain true connection with your nature,
with the energy you came to planet Earth to be. You want to
find your purpose, your happiness, and you want to explode and thrive in
magnetic energy, you have found the perfect podcast today. I'm so excited for
today's episode. We are talking about how to see beyond the current circumstance,
because girl, we need to be reminded, but also really how to balance
our need to control aka our masculine energy when we are wanting to control everything,
that is when we are in our wounded masculine and a lot of us,
because of society, has learned hustle culture aka be in your wounded masculine
bitch, and you better like it because that's all you get to do.
Yeah, a lot of us are walking around feeling burnt out. Tired,
really just not happy with our circumstance, and we're thinking, well, this
is just life, so I guess I have to live like this. That
is a damn lie. That is a damn lie. We have been sold
this hustle culture. And listen, I'm a Capricorn. If that means anything
to you, I want big things. I am a really huge visualizer.
I have so many dreams and goals and ambitions. So trust me when I
say this does not mean giving up control. Balancing your masculine energy does not
mean you have to give up your dreams. It means you're gonna get your
dreams, but the journey to get there is going to be a lot more
pleasant. You can accomplish all that you accomplish, but you can do it
either beating yourself up every single day in your wounded masculine hating your life,
or you can love yourself to success. You can find the path that has
least resistance. There is a very delicate balance between fight and flow that we
need in this life to achieve what we want to achieve without completely destroying ourselves
in the process. This is not for me to tell you, oh,
you have to only live a soft life. Don't go after what you want
and everything should feel really easy. No, no, no no. We
want a delicate, a delicate balance between our feminine the flow and the masculine,
the fight, the action. And that is what we're going to talk
about today. How to not have to feel like we need to control everything.
And I think something really important that we're going to talk about today.
That's one of my favorite topics, is to really highlight. We're going to
get into it, but the point that we do actually have a lot of
control. Our confusion comes from what we have control over. We're trying to
control what we don't have control over, and we're ignoring what we do.
And that is something that we're going to dig into as well. Now,
usually I have a bunch of announcements, but today I only have one,
and it is to really put the spotlight on minew Healing your Divine Feminine Energy,
the Light, the Dark and the Wounded Workbook. This is a sixty
six page digital workbook. Inside of this digital workbook, there are quizzes,
there are tables for you to understand what is your divine feminine versus? What
is your divine masculine? What is your wounded feminine, what is your wounded
masculine? There are journal prompts for you to write it all out, guided
journal prompts literally hand in hand guiding you through the process, and so much
more. There are so many different tools I loaded into this workbook to give
you the most bang for your book. In this workbook, because it's digital,
you can do it directly on your computer or tablet, or you can
also print it out. It is sixty six pages, so maybe it might
be more beneficial on the computer, but it's completely up to you. In
this workbook, I give you a ten step process to heal your wounded energies
and to anchor in and embody your divine feminine energy. And I really I
do not leave anything out. So everything you need to tap into your divine
feminine but also understand what it actually is, is in this workbook. But
like I said, it's not just about the divine feminine, it's also about
how to balance your divine masculine, because, as we're going to talk about
in today's podcast, we need both energies. So if you're interested in this
workbook, it is so transformative. I'm going to leave the link in the
show notes, but you can always go to my Instagram at Vibing with CC
and find all of my links there or my other instagram at that Bitch is
Positive. That really just honors this podcast. Without further ado, let's get
into today's episode. So, as I said, a lot of us have
been pushed into this masculine energy, and about eighty percent women lead with their
feminine energy. So when we're trying to instead shove our feminine energy down and
embody this masculine energy, it feels like we're putting on a really uncomfortable pair
of genes. And that's our uniform for every single day. So when we
sit down at squeezing our stomach, when we stand up, we have all
the lines. These genes are not comfortable, and that is why we need
to learn how to balance out our energies so that we can get success not
through fighting our way there and screaming and crying, but gaining success through a
way that actually felt good. The journey felt good. We are learning how
to not destroy ourselves to success, but heal ourselves on the way there.
There is this really interesting quote from the Buddha, and this quote says all
suffering comes from desire. I learned something really interesting about this quote recently.
I look at this quote and I get it sort of, but I never
could truly connect to it. As a capcorn. I have really really big
desires and ambitions, and I have so many things I feel God put on
my heart, and I'm not putting that shut down no way. I have
things to do while I'm here, and I plan one hundred percent on seeing
every single thing that I want to do. I plan on seeing it out,
and so I will. So this quote all suffering comes from desire from
the Buddha. It never really hit home from me. While I could try
to understand the whole entire point, YadA YadA, I didn't really love it.
Sorry, Buddha. This is the one that I was like, maybe
not. And then I recently learned that back then, when they were translating
all of these different quotes, whether it was Jesus or Buddha or whoever it
may be, the way they translated sentences, they would do it from the
whole sentence rather than word by word. So instead of translating the word the
and then dog and then went the dog went, they would translate the dog
went to the store as a full sentence. So there are a lot of
words that have been mistrans mistranslated in our language, and therefore we're not getting
the true nature of the original message because it was not word for word translation,
and they mistranslated the actual quote from the Buddha. You heard it here
maybe first. I don't know, but the actual quote from the Buddha is
not all suffering comes from desire. Dun dun, dunt dun. The real
quote is all suffering comes from wanting something to be different than it is.
Mike Drop, I'm going to say it again. Mistranslation here, Okay,
folks, it's not all suffering comes from desire. It's that all suffering comes
from wanting something to be different than it is. So this quote from the
Buddha. All these years we've been thinking, oh, all suffering comes from
desire, All suffering comes from desire. I guess I can't have any desire.
No no, no, no, no no no. The real translation
is all suffering comes from wanting something to be different than it is. So
basically what we're learning from this is we feel upset, angry, uncomfortable,
sad, grief, depressed, not when we have desires, but when we're
trying to resist what is That is a very big and stark difference. It's
not desires that are causing us to be upset, it's us resisting what is
going on in our current circumstance. So when we're not feeling happy or we're
feeling really upset, we're feeling like we're fighting against the grain, it's not
because we have desires, it's because we are resisting what's happening in the current
moment. A lot of us think that if I just control everything, I'm
going to feel better. If I just control this current circumstance, I will
feel better. If I just control Harry and make him like me, all
feel like I'm worthy and I'm good, and I'll feel better, that is
yet not a fun journey to go on to Controlling everything outside of yourself is
a huge sign that your anxiety is going off off okay on the inside.
Remember, we can figure out what's going on internally by just looking at our
external reality. So if everything feels like it's going sideways and then we're trying
to run after it and we're always on the defense, that is a sign
that our internal reality is tipping as well. But a lot of us.
Instead of just taking accountability for what we're manifesting, we say, well,
I'll just control this, I'll just control everyone. Think about a time you
are trying to control everything outside of you. Now, think about how shitty
you felt while doing that. The reason trying to control everything outside of you
feel so terrible is because you're depleting yourself of all of your energy, your
focus, your attention, your senses are on all of these things outside of
you, instead of you just being tapped into yourself. How can you know
what you're feeling and what you really want when you're trying to ensure that the
person you're dating is totally in love with you. How can you know what
you really want and be connected to yourself when you're constantly people pleasing everyone else
around you having this feeling of I need to control everything. That's just one
of the ways anxiety can manifest. But what happens is we get this temporary
relief of I'm controlling things, I feel powerful again, and then everything goes
to shit when what we thought we were controlling doesn't go exactly how we envisioned.
If you're trying to control a partner or your kid or a parent,
your friend. You're going to end up disappointed because eventually that control gives out
that other person realizes Dingling a motherfucking ding oh high a free will. That's
interesting. Trying to control everything outside of you is a very temporary winning game.
You might have little wins here and there, but overall you're going to
be depleted and you probably won't get what you really want. This is our
wounded masculine manifesting when we don't believe that there is a bigger plan that we're
being supported. If we just don't even believe other people are capable, that
itself can cause us to try to control everything. I find we become in
our wounded masculine when we don't try. It's also having this root chakra block.
Our root chakra, the one closest to planet Earth. It's red in
color. It's all about us feeling safe and secure, and when we don't
feel safe and secure, it means there's some dysfunction in our root chakra.
If you're realizing I don't feel safe in my own body. I don't trust
that my coworkers are going to do a good job every time. Whenever I
had a school project, I never trusted the other people to do a good
job on the project. So I would always be lead bitch, and I
would take it over because I thought, I'm not getting a bad grade because
of you peeps. I need to get in a and so I would be
that overcontrolling person. But really I didn't even give anyone else a chance to
step up to the plate. Maybe if I gave some space, somebody would
have, But because I believed I was the only one who could do it,
I reaffirmed my own belief by not even allowing other people the space to
come in and help me. We get even more anxious when we try to
control everything outside of us, because when we look back, we realize,
oh shit, I wasted so much time and so much energy and so much
focus on something I couldn't control, and I didn't even get what I wanted
in the outcome. We focus on the external world because we think it's easier
to change what's around us than realizing the thing that actually needs to change is
ourself. The thing that needs to change is how we're perceiving the situation,
not necessarily the situation. The thing that needs to change is how we're showing
up to the situation, not necessarily the situation. The thing that needs to
change is the actions we're taking towards the situation, not necessarily the situation.
We aren't realizing that to make real change, we have to be the one
to change. Here's another Be the change you wish to see in the world.
I always say, be the vibe you wish to see in the world,
because when you're the changer, you are the vibe you start attracting different
It's easier to blame the world than to actually take control over what I'm doing
and how I'm showing up. Put it like this, you can host a
really good party, but you can't control if people have a good time.
I want us to expand that to our life. You can be the best
you, but it doesn't mean that everyone's gonna like you. There are some
things that are in our control and there's other things that are just simply not
in our control. And where the frustration really stems from is us trying to
control that which we cannot change, and us ignoring what we can change.
You can change the decorations in your party, you can change the lights,
the food that you serve, but you cannot change whether or not people have
a good time. You can change you, your attitude, your morals,
you're argues, your energy, but you can't change how other people are going
to perceive you. When we get obsessive about trying to change what we can't
change and ignoring what we can actually change, we go into our wounded masculine.
We get over controlling, overbearing, hyper focused on things outside of ourselves,
and all it does it makes us feel worse. I will say,
some of us get that temporary ping of I feel like I'm in control,
but we need to understand what real control is. Is real control having an
illusion that you have temporary control over your situation and people are bending to you,
or is real control controlling how you show up? Is real control trying
to manipulate people to get what you want? Or is real control being the
vibration you want so you naturally attract the type of people you want. The
control that we get from trying to change everything in our external reality, most
of it is very illusionary. If you want real control, start gaining control
over your self, over how you perceive, how you show up, what
you speak, beliefs, and the thoughts we have around situations really cause these
problems to go to new levels. If we have the belief that I'm the
only one who can ever do anything right, or I don't trust in others,
I don't trust in God. Sort of like we were saying before,
this is going to cause our reality to mold to those beliefs. So maybe
we need to take out a piece of paper and write down all of our
beliefs that we need to be hyper masculine, that we need to be our
own man, that we cannot trust anyone, in order to start bringing those
two our conscious awareness. The thing that happens when you bring God and your
spirit team and the universe into your center, you start seeing everything differently.
When I thought I have to do everything myself, I can't trust anyone,
It's all up to me, I was giving myself a little bit too much
credit. Honestly, I was thinking that I had way more control over the
external, and I forgot I even had any control over myself. But when
I brought God into my center, the universe, my spirit guides my angels,
I realized I don't have to be so worried about everything that happened in
my external. If I want real control, I'm gonna control how I show
up but the rest it's not just up to me. I have a divine
plan that I'm following. What happens is when you think that you are at
the center of your own universe, meaning there's no other help, it's only
you and there's no guidance system. When you think like that, you think
all of the bad things happen because of you. You think all the good
things happen because of you too, But when the bad things happened, they
bury you. The difference is I can say to myself, now, whether
I win or I lose, it's happening for me. Whether I get the
job or I'm rejected, it's happening for me. Because I know I don't
have total control over everything in my external I don't try to have it.
I control what I can control, which is my own vibration and energy.
When you know that your spirit team is with you, and they're with you
at your center of the world, and it's not just you all alone there
in the cold, freezing and you have God and these angels, you know
that, Okay, maybe if there's something I don't understand, it doesn't mean
it doesn't make sense to my higher self. Because a lot of the time,
our human self is going to say, what the fuck? I don't
get it, But our higher self is gonna understand. Let's put it this
way. Let's say I'm at the center of my own universe, but I
don't believe in my spirit team, or God or my angels. I think
everything happens because of me, good and bad. Now, if I get
a new boyfriend, I'll feel good this happened because of me. But if
I get rejected, forget about it. I think I'm not good enough,
I'm not pretty enough. There's something wrong with me. What is wrong with
me? How am I causing this rejection? There must be something inherently wrong
with me. That's the problem of thinking it's up to you and only you.
This is a problem when we reject our divine ness. Yeah, it's
really easy to see our humanness. It's really easy to see our human self.
It's much harder to understand, comprehend, and connect to sometimes our divine
self when we're not used to doing that. When I have me, my
spirit team, and God at the center of my universe, I understand,
well. If I get rejected, well, that's protection, not rejection,
it's redirection. If I don't get the thing that I wanted. Oh,
there must be something even better for me, because everything is working out for
me. What you believe is going to dictate how you react, And if
you believe that bad things happened because of you, you're going to end up
in your wounded masculine trying to control everything, and you're gonna feel terrible about
it. I remember during COVID the first time I heard that TikTok might get
canceled, I had a mental breakdown. TikTok was my outlet. It was
where I was connecting with all of you beautiful positive bitches before there was even
a podcast. It's really where I went to feel safe and at home and
talk to other people like me. The people I was connecting with on TikTok
and still to this day and on Instagram, they were my friends, soulmates,
my people. And when I heard that was going to get canceled,
I freaked out. I was like, there's nothing else that I love to
do and TikTok where is where I began. If you don't know, there's
nothing else I love to do. I'm in love with TikTok. I love
creating. This is my short form content this is how I like to create.
And multiple days went by and I still was just feeling so terrible.
And then I started reading all the tweets that TikTok was going to be taken
away, and then I started watching the videos about people saying TikTok is going
to be taken away, and then I was just crying, crying, crying
that TikTok was going to be taken away. I can't control if TikTok is
going to be shut down, but I can control how I react to it.
I can control what I do next. I can control the direction in
which I change. So now, when I hear that TikTok is going to
be possibly shut down, what did I do? I changed me. I
couldn't. I can't change the law nothing I can do right now, but
I can change me and how I react. So what did I do?
I started posting consistently on Instagram. I said, Okay, I got to
build a community somewhere else. Okay, let me start a podcast where I
can really go into depth about all of the topics that I love to talk
about, where we can have long form. Let me just try it out.
And it turns out I loved it writing down on a sheet of paper
things I can control on one side, and on the other side, things
I cannot control. And getting really clear about what you can control versus what
you can't control will help keep your masculine energy and check. Now you don't
have to waste time trying to control TikTok. You can control how you're going
to show up, what you're going to change, how you are going to
shift your business plan or your brand, so you can still follow the vision
that you've always had. I fully know I have a vision in my heart.
I have a dream, I have a plan. How that plan unfolds,
I do not know. Will my dream be accomplished? Absolutely fucking yes.
And that's how I go about my day. I don't know how I'm
going to accomplish X, Y and Z. Do I know it will get
done? Yes? And that is how I work with God, with the
angels, with the universe. Some of my favorite affirmations that I've been retapping
into recently is I am safe, I am supported, and I see God's
presence in my life every day. I see God's support in my life every
single day. Now you can use the word universe, you have to really
cultivate this to be your own. So saying I am safe, I'm supported,
I feel seen by the universe. I see the universe is support in
my life. I can taste it, touch it, feel it. I've
been saying these affirmations every single day to remind myself of how safe and supported
I feel. Because if you grew up and you've been in survival mode a
really long time, you're probably really comfortable in your wounded masculine I was the
exact same way, and sometimes it can be so easy to revert back to
it. So I still to this day have to remind myself I'm safe.
God's got me. Let go and let flow. I am supported. I
see God's presence in my life. I see the universe supporting me every single
day. And even when I notice the universe supporting me, when I see
something a mini miracles what I call them mini miracles because I see them everywhere,
and I think that we're so used to thinking about miracles, like oh
Jesus turned the water to wine. There are miracles in our day every single
day, and I call those mini miracles. I point out every single mini
miracle in my day, and I'm like, thank you, God, Thank
you God, Thank you God, because I want to remember my support.
If you have anxious attachment, it's really common that you are going to see
all the negative because you're always trying to protect yourself. So in my life
I was prone to seeing negative. I mean, if you just have a
fucking brain, it's easier to see the negative. But what you want to
start doing is listing all the mini miracles you see every single day in your
life to convince yourself, to remind yourself, to show yourself that you are
being supported. I look around and I say, oh, the light just
turned green and I just got here. It's any miracle. In Florida,
there are some bridges that go up. And when I get a bridge and
I pass it and it didn't go up when it was supposed to go up,
I say, yes, mini miracle. When I get a soulmate client,
I say yes, mini miracle. I mentally make a list all day,
every day of all the mini miracles I see in my life, and
I thank the universe for them because it reminds me that I am being supported.
And if you don't feel financially supported by the universe, you don't feel
supported. On planet Earth, you have to start cultivating a relationship with the
universe in which you can feel supported. That can be affirmations, it can
be listing the mini miracles. And what this is gonna do is instead of
you feeling cold and alone at the center of your universe alone, now it's
you at the center, but the universe too, but your guides and your
angels too, your guardians too, So you can remember, oh, I
am being supported, I am being guided, I am being I am not
alone. I know we have mercury retrograde around the corner, we have an
eclipse, and I have so many dms of people getting into their wounded masks
skill in worrying about how is this going to affect me? What is this
going to change in me? What am I going to have to do?
Getting so cautious about what possibly could change in their life that they're resisting what
is and already focusing on things that they might not even have control over.
Sometimes things happen for straight up good fortune to come into your life. Sometimes
things need to be removed, they need to be shifted, they need to
be transformed to make room for something better to come in. If we're freaking
out about what we cannot change, it's going to be impossible to see the
mini miracle. If we're freaking out about what we cannot change, it's going
to be so hard to focus on what we can change. When I deleted
my first chapter that I was writing. If you don't know, I'm writing
a book, and I wrote the first chapter, perfected it, whatever I
deleted. It, spent like two days crying about it, whatever it was,
and eventually I've realized, Okay, I can't control that I deleted this
chapter. I can control how I write it the next time. I can
control infusing even more positive energy, making it even better than it was the
first time, And it ended up being better than the first time go around.
There is gold at the end of your change. Okay, there is
a pot of gold at the end of your change. When you accept what
change is happening and you instead just focus on showing up as your best self.
It becomes too confusing and too clouded when you're trying to focus on what
you cannot change, because it deprives you of the opportunity to shift what is
possible, which can be your attitude, your focus, your attention, your
emotion. I think understanding your values is really helpful to know where to focus.
I wrote down all the things I value my health, my wellness,
my relationship, my career. Said, I can understand where to put my
focus and my attention. We also want to do this when it comes to
Okay, what do I value and what can I control that I value?
I can control eating high vibe foods. I can control if something in my
body happens to be going on and oh, dermatitis, for example, I
could not figure out what the hell was causing dermatitis to happen on my face
for a very long time. It was not in my control. It felt
very out of control. I eventually realized I was allergic to almonds, and
then it was in my control to stop eating the almonds. I think it's
important to highlight here that sometimes tis what's in your control versus what's not in
your control might shift too. For the four oh my god years, I
could not figure out why I was breaking out in dermatitis, and it wasn't
until I got an allergy test that I was then able to stop eating the
almonds. I literally changed my almond butter three times. I tried doing different
protein different I cut off caffeine. I was trying so many different things,
but it never dawned on me to take almonds out completely. And so at
the time, dermatitis and taking it off my face was not in my control.
It wasn't until I got the allergy test that I was able to have
better control over it and stop eating the almonds so I could stop causing the
allergic reaction. So sometimes what's in our control can even shift. So it's
important that we pay attention to what's happening in our reality. The best way
to manifest and align with good experiences is to feel good. Now, if
you're going through any sort of circumstance that doesn't feel good to you, how
can you accept what is and also understand beyond it? How can you accept
what is but also understand from your higher self point of view? Then maybe
this wind is going to knock down some trees but ultimately clear a path for
your purpose. How can we start to open ourselves up? All we have
to do curiosity. You don't have to believe a damn word I am saying.
You don't, but it would help. It would help you if you
were just curious about what I was saying. If you were like, maybe
CC could beyond to something. That's all you need. You just need a
little seed of what if this is happening for me for that to start to
grow. You just need a little seed of maybe I could work with this.
Maybe I can't control that, but I can control how I'm showing up
every single day. I even think about high school. So many of us
go to high school every single day so miserable, or went to high school
so miserable every single day, like oh, get me out of here.
But really, if we just changed our attitude, it probably would have been
a little bit more enjoyable. Even just reflecting on things that we've done and
gone through and we're like, you know what, if I just had a
little bit of a better attitude that day, that vacation, that high school
experience, probably would have been a little bit better. So we're writing down
what we can control and what we can't control, all while knowing what is
in our control system might change, it could alter. We might have more
control sometimes than other times. If we get injured, if something happens,
you never know. So we want to understand right now, this is what's
in my control center, and right now, this is what's outside of my
control center. Here's what I can control. How do I want to control
this? How can I show up better? How can I encode myself to
be my best self and show up every single day so life feels a little
bit better? And ultimately, how can I accept what is for me?
I was so depleted by the end of dermatitis. I had no choice but
to accept it, because what the fuck else was I going to do.
I kept trying to experiment with myself. I kept my magnifying glass close to
my eyes, and I kept exploring for what could possibly be the real culprit
here. But I stopped letting it dictate how I was going to feel.
I kept looking for a cure, I kept looking for an answer, but
I didn't let it beat me up as much as it did at the end
of it, because there's no point. There's no point. When you start
putting your energy towards what you can control, you start to realize you have
a lot more fucking energy than you originally thought. When you start putting your
energy towards what you can change, realized, Wow, I don't feel as
bad as I did before, And it's actually so liberating to say oh,
I have no control over that. Whatever. When something someone may perceive as
negative happens, now, I just try to laugh at it. I'm like,
oh, okay, silly me. Didn't realize that my mistake. But
maybe this happened for a reason. You never know. Every time the bridge
comes up and throw rata and I'm like, mother effer, I have to
sit behind this thing. Instead of being so upset I'm in traffic, I
put on an audiobook and learn something new. Instead of being so upset I'm
in traffic. I think, you know what, maybe if this bridge didn't
go up, something bad could have happened. I tell myself a story that's
going to empower me to keep living my best self. So what the fuck
story are you telling yourself? Because that's dictating how you're feeling every single day.
I love you so much. If this podcast episode resonated with you,
which I hope it did, it would mean the world to me. If
you left a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If not for me,
do it for you. It's good karma. The sparkle in me as
always honors the sparkle in you, and I will see you in the next
one. Mom, sema into jes. Can't change I. Cannage cancer,
I can't. Sus me, can't such me