WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:21.239 Energy. Not sorry. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing 2 00:00:21.280 --> 00:00:25.160 today? If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, 3 00:00:25.239 --> 00:00:30.440 so keep listening. I'm that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, 4 00:00:30.839 --> 00:00:34.719 other times a baby girl, We're gonna cry, but we will always walk 5 00:00:34.759 --> 00:00:40.759 away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self. That is positive baby, and 6 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:48.079 total connection with herself. If you're ready to gain true connection with your nature, 7 00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:53.039 with the energy you came to planet Earth to be. You want to 8 00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:58.920 find your purpose, your happiness, and you want to explode and thrive in 9 00:00:59.079 --> 00:01:06.319 magnetic energy, you have found the perfect podcast today. I'm so excited for 10 00:01:06.359 --> 00:01:10.959 today's episode. We are talking about how to see beyond the current circumstance, 11 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:15.599 because girl, we need to be reminded, but also really how to balance 12 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:26.079 our need to control aka our masculine energy when we are wanting to control everything, 13 00:01:26.439 --> 00:01:30.680 that is when we are in our wounded masculine and a lot of us, 14 00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:37.519 because of society, has learned hustle culture aka be in your wounded masculine 15 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.040 bitch, and you better like it because that's all you get to do. 16 00:01:41.239 --> 00:01:45.799 Yeah, a lot of us are walking around feeling burnt out. Tired, 17 00:01:46.760 --> 00:01:52.560 really just not happy with our circumstance, and we're thinking, well, this 18 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:55.439 is just life, so I guess I have to live like this. That 19 00:01:55.599 --> 00:01:59.879 is a damn lie. That is a damn lie. We have been sold 20 00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:04.719 this hustle culture. And listen, I'm a Capricorn. If that means anything 21 00:02:04.760 --> 00:02:10.479 to you, I want big things. I am a really huge visualizer. 22 00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:15.520 I have so many dreams and goals and ambitions. So trust me when I 23 00:02:15.639 --> 00:02:23.080 say this does not mean giving up control. Balancing your masculine energy does not 24 00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:25.039 mean you have to give up your dreams. It means you're gonna get your 25 00:02:25.120 --> 00:02:29.520 dreams, but the journey to get there is going to be a lot more 26 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:34.759 pleasant. You can accomplish all that you accomplish, but you can do it 27 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:38.319 either beating yourself up every single day in your wounded masculine hating your life, 28 00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:45.360 or you can love yourself to success. You can find the path that has 29 00:02:45.560 --> 00:02:52.879 least resistance. There is a very delicate balance between fight and flow that we 30 00:02:52.919 --> 00:02:59.120 need in this life to achieve what we want to achieve without completely destroying ourselves 31 00:02:59.599 --> 00:03:04.240 in the process. This is not for me to tell you, oh, 32 00:03:04.280 --> 00:03:07.960 you have to only live a soft life. Don't go after what you want 33 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:12.840 and everything should feel really easy. No, no, no no. We 34 00:03:12.919 --> 00:03:17.639 want a delicate, a delicate balance between our feminine the flow and the masculine, 35 00:03:17.719 --> 00:03:21.919 the fight, the action. And that is what we're going to talk 36 00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:28.080 about today. How to not have to feel like we need to control everything. 37 00:03:28.919 --> 00:03:31.120 And I think something really important that we're going to talk about today. 38 00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:35.599 That's one of my favorite topics, is to really highlight. We're going to 39 00:03:35.599 --> 00:03:38.919 get into it, but the point that we do actually have a lot of 40 00:03:38.919 --> 00:03:46.159 control. Our confusion comes from what we have control over. We're trying to 41 00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:49.719 control what we don't have control over, and we're ignoring what we do. 42 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:53.280 And that is something that we're going to dig into as well. Now, 43 00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:59.120 usually I have a bunch of announcements, but today I only have one, 44 00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:04.120 and it is to really put the spotlight on minew Healing your Divine Feminine Energy, 45 00:04:04.199 --> 00:04:09.000 the Light, the Dark and the Wounded Workbook. This is a sixty 46 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:14.560 six page digital workbook. Inside of this digital workbook, there are quizzes, 47 00:04:14.879 --> 00:04:17.759 there are tables for you to understand what is your divine feminine versus? What 48 00:04:17.879 --> 00:04:21.240 is your divine masculine? What is your wounded feminine, what is your wounded 49 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:29.000 masculine? There are journal prompts for you to write it all out, guided 50 00:04:29.079 --> 00:04:34.759 journal prompts literally hand in hand guiding you through the process, and so much 51 00:04:34.839 --> 00:04:42.319 more. There are so many different tools I loaded into this workbook to give 52 00:04:42.319 --> 00:04:47.600 you the most bang for your book. In this workbook, because it's digital, 53 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:50.959 you can do it directly on your computer or tablet, or you can 54 00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:56.360 also print it out. It is sixty six pages, so maybe it might 55 00:04:56.399 --> 00:05:00.720 be more beneficial on the computer, but it's completely up to you. In 56 00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:06.199 this workbook, I give you a ten step process to heal your wounded energies 57 00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:13.959 and to anchor in and embody your divine feminine energy. And I really I 58 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:16.800 do not leave anything out. So everything you need to tap into your divine 59 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:21.160 feminine but also understand what it actually is, is in this workbook. But 60 00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:25.360 like I said, it's not just about the divine feminine, it's also about 61 00:05:25.399 --> 00:05:29.720 how to balance your divine masculine, because, as we're going to talk about 62 00:05:29.759 --> 00:05:33.519 in today's podcast, we need both energies. So if you're interested in this 63 00:05:33.560 --> 00:05:38.160 workbook, it is so transformative. I'm going to leave the link in the 64 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:41.639 show notes, but you can always go to my Instagram at Vibing with CC 65 00:05:41.800 --> 00:05:45.399 and find all of my links there or my other instagram at that Bitch is 66 00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:49.959 Positive. That really just honors this podcast. Without further ado, let's get 67 00:05:49.959 --> 00:05:54.879 into today's episode. So, as I said, a lot of us have 68 00:05:55.000 --> 00:06:00.959 been pushed into this masculine energy, and about eighty percent women lead with their 69 00:06:00.040 --> 00:06:06.279 feminine energy. So when we're trying to instead shove our feminine energy down and 70 00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:12.720 embody this masculine energy, it feels like we're putting on a really uncomfortable pair 71 00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:15.600 of genes. And that's our uniform for every single day. So when we 72 00:06:15.639 --> 00:06:18.600 sit down at squeezing our stomach, when we stand up, we have all 73 00:06:18.600 --> 00:06:23.279 the lines. These genes are not comfortable, and that is why we need 74 00:06:23.319 --> 00:06:29.360 to learn how to balance out our energies so that we can get success not 75 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:33.920 through fighting our way there and screaming and crying, but gaining success through a 76 00:06:33.959 --> 00:06:40.279 way that actually felt good. The journey felt good. We are learning how 77 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:45.639 to not destroy ourselves to success, but heal ourselves on the way there. 78 00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:51.480 There is this really interesting quote from the Buddha, and this quote says all 79 00:06:51.639 --> 00:06:59.000 suffering comes from desire. I learned something really interesting about this quote recently. 80 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:02.519 I look at this quote and I get it sort of, but I never 81 00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:08.319 could truly connect to it. As a capcorn. I have really really big 82 00:07:08.399 --> 00:07:13.279 desires and ambitions, and I have so many things I feel God put on 83 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:15.639 my heart, and I'm not putting that shut down no way. I have 84 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:20.360 things to do while I'm here, and I plan one hundred percent on seeing 85 00:07:20.439 --> 00:07:25.399 every single thing that I want to do. I plan on seeing it out, 86 00:07:25.759 --> 00:07:30.959 and so I will. So this quote all suffering comes from desire from 87 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.759 the Buddha. It never really hit home from me. While I could try 88 00:07:33.759 --> 00:07:39.800 to understand the whole entire point, YadA YadA, I didn't really love it. 89 00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:42.680 Sorry, Buddha. This is the one that I was like, maybe 90 00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:47.639 not. And then I recently learned that back then, when they were translating 91 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:53.040 all of these different quotes, whether it was Jesus or Buddha or whoever it 92 00:07:53.079 --> 00:07:57.639 may be, the way they translated sentences, they would do it from the 93 00:07:57.680 --> 00:08:03.839 whole sentence rather than word by word. So instead of translating the word the 94 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:09.439 and then dog and then went the dog went, they would translate the dog 95 00:08:09.480 --> 00:08:13.399 went to the store as a full sentence. So there are a lot of 96 00:08:13.480 --> 00:08:20.879 words that have been mistrans mistranslated in our language, and therefore we're not getting 97 00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:26.560 the true nature of the original message because it was not word for word translation, 98 00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:33.200 and they mistranslated the actual quote from the Buddha. You heard it here 99 00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:37.240 maybe first. I don't know, but the actual quote from the Buddha is 100 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:41.519 not all suffering comes from desire. Dun dun, dunt dun. The real 101 00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:46.279 quote is all suffering comes from wanting something to be different than it is. 102 00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:50.200 Mike Drop, I'm going to say it again. Mistranslation here, Okay, 103 00:08:50.200 --> 00:08:56.279 folks, it's not all suffering comes from desire. It's that all suffering comes 104 00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:01.200 from wanting something to be different than it is. So this quote from the 105 00:09:01.240 --> 00:09:05.200 Buddha. All these years we've been thinking, oh, all suffering comes from 106 00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:09.559 desire, All suffering comes from desire. I guess I can't have any desire. 107 00:09:09.799 --> 00:09:13.600 No no, no, no, no no no. The real translation 108 00:09:13.720 --> 00:09:18.759 is all suffering comes from wanting something to be different than it is. So 109 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:24.960 basically what we're learning from this is we feel upset, angry, uncomfortable, 110 00:09:26.200 --> 00:09:31.279 sad, grief, depressed, not when we have desires, but when we're 111 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:39.279 trying to resist what is That is a very big and stark difference. It's 112 00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:46.159 not desires that are causing us to be upset, it's us resisting what is 113 00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:52.720 going on in our current circumstance. So when we're not feeling happy or we're 114 00:09:52.840 --> 00:09:56.720 feeling really upset, we're feeling like we're fighting against the grain, it's not 115 00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:05.120 because we have desires, it's because we are resisting what's happening in the current 116 00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:09.840 moment. A lot of us think that if I just control everything, I'm 117 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:13.759 going to feel better. If I just control this current circumstance, I will 118 00:10:13.799 --> 00:10:18.559 feel better. If I just control Harry and make him like me, all 119 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:24.360 feel like I'm worthy and I'm good, and I'll feel better, that is 120 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:31.159 yet not a fun journey to go on to Controlling everything outside of yourself is 121 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:37.799 a huge sign that your anxiety is going off off okay on the inside. 122 00:10:37.360 --> 00:10:43.360 Remember, we can figure out what's going on internally by just looking at our 123 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:48.240 external reality. So if everything feels like it's going sideways and then we're trying 124 00:10:48.279 --> 00:10:52.039 to run after it and we're always on the defense, that is a sign 125 00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:56.320 that our internal reality is tipping as well. But a lot of us. 126 00:10:56.399 --> 00:11:01.759 Instead of just taking accountability for what we're manifesting, we say, well, 127 00:11:01.799 --> 00:11:07.159 I'll just control this, I'll just control everyone. Think about a time you 128 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:11.799 are trying to control everything outside of you. Now, think about how shitty 129 00:11:11.799 --> 00:11:16.960 you felt while doing that. The reason trying to control everything outside of you 130 00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:24.000 feel so terrible is because you're depleting yourself of all of your energy, your 131 00:11:24.039 --> 00:11:28.639 focus, your attention, your senses are on all of these things outside of 132 00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:31.759 you, instead of you just being tapped into yourself. How can you know 133 00:11:31.799 --> 00:11:37.200 what you're feeling and what you really want when you're trying to ensure that the 134 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:43.440 person you're dating is totally in love with you. How can you know what 135 00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:48.440 you really want and be connected to yourself when you're constantly people pleasing everyone else 136 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:52.879 around you having this feeling of I need to control everything. That's just one 137 00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:58.639 of the ways anxiety can manifest. But what happens is we get this temporary 138 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:03.840 relief of I'm controlling things, I feel powerful again, and then everything goes 139 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:07.399 to shit when what we thought we were controlling doesn't go exactly how we envisioned. 140 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:13.279 If you're trying to control a partner or your kid or a parent, 141 00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:20.600 your friend. You're going to end up disappointed because eventually that control gives out 142 00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:26.759 that other person realizes Dingling a motherfucking ding oh high a free will. That's 143 00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:33.399 interesting. Trying to control everything outside of you is a very temporary winning game. 144 00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:37.600 You might have little wins here and there, but overall you're going to 145 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:41.600 be depleted and you probably won't get what you really want. This is our 146 00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:48.039 wounded masculine manifesting when we don't believe that there is a bigger plan that we're 147 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:52.279 being supported. If we just don't even believe other people are capable, that 148 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:56.679 itself can cause us to try to control everything. I find we become in 149 00:12:56.720 --> 00:13:01.960 our wounded masculine when we don't try. It's also having this root chakra block. 150 00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:05.840 Our root chakra, the one closest to planet Earth. It's red in 151 00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:11.679 color. It's all about us feeling safe and secure, and when we don't 152 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:16.480 feel safe and secure, it means there's some dysfunction in our root chakra. 153 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:20.679 If you're realizing I don't feel safe in my own body. I don't trust 154 00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:24.679 that my coworkers are going to do a good job every time. Whenever I 155 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:28.159 had a school project, I never trusted the other people to do a good 156 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:31.440 job on the project. So I would always be lead bitch, and I 157 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:35.159 would take it over because I thought, I'm not getting a bad grade because 158 00:13:35.159 --> 00:13:39.960 of you peeps. I need to get in a and so I would be 159 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:43.840 that overcontrolling person. But really I didn't even give anyone else a chance to 160 00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:48.120 step up to the plate. Maybe if I gave some space, somebody would 161 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:52.360 have, But because I believed I was the only one who could do it, 162 00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:56.120 I reaffirmed my own belief by not even allowing other people the space to 163 00:13:56.200 --> 00:14:03.240 come in and help me. We get even more anxious when we try to 164 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:07.360 control everything outside of us, because when we look back, we realize, 165 00:14:07.399 --> 00:14:13.159 oh shit, I wasted so much time and so much energy and so much 166 00:14:13.159 --> 00:14:16.559 focus on something I couldn't control, and I didn't even get what I wanted 167 00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:24.000 in the outcome. We focus on the external world because we think it's easier 168 00:14:24.039 --> 00:14:28.480 to change what's around us than realizing the thing that actually needs to change is 169 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:35.080 ourself. The thing that needs to change is how we're perceiving the situation, 170 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:41.720 not necessarily the situation. The thing that needs to change is how we're showing 171 00:14:41.799 --> 00:14:46.320 up to the situation, not necessarily the situation. The thing that needs to 172 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:50.919 change is the actions we're taking towards the situation, not necessarily the situation. 173 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:58.720 We aren't realizing that to make real change, we have to be the one 174 00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:01.080 to change. Here's another Be the change you wish to see in the world. 175 00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:05.679 I always say, be the vibe you wish to see in the world, 176 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:09.480 because when you're the changer, you are the vibe you start attracting different 177 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:13.799 It's easier to blame the world than to actually take control over what I'm doing 178 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:18.639 and how I'm showing up. Put it like this, you can host a 179 00:15:18.679 --> 00:15:22.200 really good party, but you can't control if people have a good time. 180 00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:28.639 I want us to expand that to our life. You can be the best 181 00:15:28.799 --> 00:15:33.879 you, but it doesn't mean that everyone's gonna like you. There are some 182 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:39.000 things that are in our control and there's other things that are just simply not 183 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:43.120 in our control. And where the frustration really stems from is us trying to 184 00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:48.720 control that which we cannot change, and us ignoring what we can change. 185 00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:52.480 You can change the decorations in your party, you can change the lights, 186 00:15:52.519 --> 00:15:54.960 the food that you serve, but you cannot change whether or not people have 187 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.600 a good time. You can change you, your attitude, your morals, 188 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:03.559 you're argues, your energy, but you can't change how other people are going 189 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:08.039 to perceive you. When we get obsessive about trying to change what we can't 190 00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:14.200 change and ignoring what we can actually change, we go into our wounded masculine. 191 00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:19.840 We get over controlling, overbearing, hyper focused on things outside of ourselves, 192 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:25.200 and all it does it makes us feel worse. I will say, 193 00:16:25.320 --> 00:16:29.080 some of us get that temporary ping of I feel like I'm in control, 194 00:16:29.639 --> 00:16:34.600 but we need to understand what real control is. Is real control having an 195 00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:40.879 illusion that you have temporary control over your situation and people are bending to you, 196 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:48.840 or is real control controlling how you show up? Is real control trying 197 00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:52.000 to manipulate people to get what you want? Or is real control being the 198 00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:56.840 vibration you want so you naturally attract the type of people you want. The 199 00:16:56.960 --> 00:17:03.440 control that we get from trying to change everything in our external reality, most 200 00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:07.880 of it is very illusionary. If you want real control, start gaining control 201 00:17:08.079 --> 00:17:14.519 over your self, over how you perceive, how you show up, what 202 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:19.079 you speak, beliefs, and the thoughts we have around situations really cause these 203 00:17:19.079 --> 00:17:25.039 problems to go to new levels. If we have the belief that I'm the 204 00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:27.599 only one who can ever do anything right, or I don't trust in others, 205 00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:30.480 I don't trust in God. Sort of like we were saying before, 206 00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:36.960 this is going to cause our reality to mold to those beliefs. So maybe 207 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:40.000 we need to take out a piece of paper and write down all of our 208 00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:42.359 beliefs that we need to be hyper masculine, that we need to be our 209 00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:47.200 own man, that we cannot trust anyone, in order to start bringing those 210 00:17:47.240 --> 00:17:52.920 two our conscious awareness. The thing that happens when you bring God and your 211 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:59.680 spirit team and the universe into your center, you start seeing everything differently. 212 00:18:00.359 --> 00:18:03.720 When I thought I have to do everything myself, I can't trust anyone, 213 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:07.119 It's all up to me, I was giving myself a little bit too much 214 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:11.079 credit. Honestly, I was thinking that I had way more control over the 215 00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:15.440 external, and I forgot I even had any control over myself. But when 216 00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:19.839 I brought God into my center, the universe, my spirit guides my angels, 217 00:18:21.319 --> 00:18:26.079 I realized I don't have to be so worried about everything that happened in 218 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:30.640 my external. If I want real control, I'm gonna control how I show 219 00:18:30.759 --> 00:18:33.960 up but the rest it's not just up to me. I have a divine 220 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:41.920 plan that I'm following. What happens is when you think that you are at 221 00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:45.359 the center of your own universe, meaning there's no other help, it's only 222 00:18:45.480 --> 00:18:51.440 you and there's no guidance system. When you think like that, you think 223 00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:53.680 all of the bad things happen because of you. You think all the good 224 00:18:53.720 --> 00:18:57.200 things happen because of you too, But when the bad things happened, they 225 00:18:57.240 --> 00:19:03.640 bury you. The difference is I can say to myself, now, whether 226 00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:10.079 I win or I lose, it's happening for me. Whether I get the 227 00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:14.119 job or I'm rejected, it's happening for me. Because I know I don't 228 00:19:14.119 --> 00:19:18.000 have total control over everything in my external I don't try to have it. 229 00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:21.559 I control what I can control, which is my own vibration and energy. 230 00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:26.200 When you know that your spirit team is with you, and they're with you 231 00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:30.759 at your center of the world, and it's not just you all alone there 232 00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:33.240 in the cold, freezing and you have God and these angels, you know 233 00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:37.640 that, Okay, maybe if there's something I don't understand, it doesn't mean 234 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:41.160 it doesn't make sense to my higher self. Because a lot of the time, 235 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:45.119 our human self is going to say, what the fuck? I don't 236 00:19:45.160 --> 00:19:49.440 get it, But our higher self is gonna understand. Let's put it this 237 00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:53.400 way. Let's say I'm at the center of my own universe, but I 238 00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:57.279 don't believe in my spirit team, or God or my angels. I think 239 00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:02.480 everything happens because of me, good and bad. Now, if I get 240 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:04.559 a new boyfriend, I'll feel good this happened because of me. But if 241 00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:08.960 I get rejected, forget about it. I think I'm not good enough, 242 00:20:08.960 --> 00:20:11.279 I'm not pretty enough. There's something wrong with me. What is wrong with 243 00:20:11.319 --> 00:20:15.759 me? How am I causing this rejection? There must be something inherently wrong 244 00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:19.480 with me. That's the problem of thinking it's up to you and only you. 245 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:27.720 This is a problem when we reject our divine ness. Yeah, it's 246 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:32.880 really easy to see our humanness. It's really easy to see our human self. 247 00:20:33.160 --> 00:20:37.440 It's much harder to understand, comprehend, and connect to sometimes our divine 248 00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:41.519 self when we're not used to doing that. When I have me, my 249 00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:45.839 spirit team, and God at the center of my universe, I understand, 250 00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:48.920 well. If I get rejected, well, that's protection, not rejection, 251 00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:53.319 it's redirection. If I don't get the thing that I wanted. Oh, 252 00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:57.200 there must be something even better for me, because everything is working out for 253 00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:03.920 me. What you believe is going to dictate how you react, And if 254 00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:07.000 you believe that bad things happened because of you, you're going to end up 255 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:11.680 in your wounded masculine trying to control everything, and you're gonna feel terrible about 256 00:21:11.720 --> 00:21:17.359 it. I remember during COVID the first time I heard that TikTok might get 257 00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:21.839 canceled, I had a mental breakdown. TikTok was my outlet. It was 258 00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:25.880 where I was connecting with all of you beautiful positive bitches before there was even 259 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:30.599 a podcast. It's really where I went to feel safe and at home and 260 00:21:30.680 --> 00:21:36.519 talk to other people like me. The people I was connecting with on TikTok 261 00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:40.680 and still to this day and on Instagram, they were my friends, soulmates, 262 00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:44.079 my people. And when I heard that was going to get canceled, 263 00:21:44.279 --> 00:21:47.920 I freaked out. I was like, there's nothing else that I love to 264 00:21:47.960 --> 00:21:52.079 do and TikTok where is where I began. If you don't know, there's 265 00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:55.039 nothing else I love to do. I'm in love with TikTok. I love 266 00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:59.160 creating. This is my short form content this is how I like to create. 267 00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:03.880 And multiple days went by and I still was just feeling so terrible. 268 00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:06.720 And then I started reading all the tweets that TikTok was going to be taken 269 00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:10.240 away, and then I started watching the videos about people saying TikTok is going 270 00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:12.440 to be taken away, and then I was just crying, crying, crying 271 00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:18.160 that TikTok was going to be taken away. I can't control if TikTok is 272 00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:22.400 going to be shut down, but I can control how I react to it. 273 00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:26.799 I can control what I do next. I can control the direction in 274 00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:32.960 which I change. So now, when I hear that TikTok is going to 275 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:37.160 be possibly shut down, what did I do? I changed me. I 276 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:41.519 couldn't. I can't change the law nothing I can do right now, but 277 00:22:41.640 --> 00:22:45.279 I can change me and how I react. So what did I do? 278 00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:48.440 I started posting consistently on Instagram. I said, Okay, I got to 279 00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:52.519 build a community somewhere else. Okay, let me start a podcast where I 280 00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:56.240 can really go into depth about all of the topics that I love to talk 281 00:22:56.279 --> 00:22:59.279 about, where we can have long form. Let me just try it out. 282 00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:02.599 And it turns out I loved it writing down on a sheet of paper 283 00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:06.440 things I can control on one side, and on the other side, things 284 00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:11.039 I cannot control. And getting really clear about what you can control versus what 285 00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:15.599 you can't control will help keep your masculine energy and check. Now you don't 286 00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:18.319 have to waste time trying to control TikTok. You can control how you're going 287 00:23:18.359 --> 00:23:22.319 to show up, what you're going to change, how you are going to 288 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:26.200 shift your business plan or your brand, so you can still follow the vision 289 00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:32.480 that you've always had. I fully know I have a vision in my heart. 290 00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:36.160 I have a dream, I have a plan. How that plan unfolds, 291 00:23:36.279 --> 00:23:41.279 I do not know. Will my dream be accomplished? Absolutely fucking yes. 292 00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:44.759 And that's how I go about my day. I don't know how I'm 293 00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:47.799 going to accomplish X, Y and Z. Do I know it will get 294 00:23:47.799 --> 00:23:52.440 done? Yes? And that is how I work with God, with the 295 00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:56.799 angels, with the universe. Some of my favorite affirmations that I've been retapping 296 00:23:56.839 --> 00:24:03.119 into recently is I am safe, I am supported, and I see God's 297 00:24:03.160 --> 00:24:07.440 presence in my life every day. I see God's support in my life every 298 00:24:07.480 --> 00:24:11.240 single day. Now you can use the word universe, you have to really 299 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:15.839 cultivate this to be your own. So saying I am safe, I'm supported, 300 00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:19.839 I feel seen by the universe. I see the universe is support in 301 00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:23.799 my life. I can taste it, touch it, feel it. I've 302 00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:29.720 been saying these affirmations every single day to remind myself of how safe and supported 303 00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:33.400 I feel. Because if you grew up and you've been in survival mode a 304 00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:38.240 really long time, you're probably really comfortable in your wounded masculine I was the 305 00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:42.720 exact same way, and sometimes it can be so easy to revert back to 306 00:24:42.759 --> 00:24:48.440 it. So I still to this day have to remind myself I'm safe. 307 00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:52.559 God's got me. Let go and let flow. I am supported. I 308 00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:59.720 see God's presence in my life. I see the universe supporting me every single 309 00:24:59.799 --> 00:25:04.480 day. And even when I notice the universe supporting me, when I see 310 00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:10.599 something a mini miracles what I call them mini miracles because I see them everywhere, 311 00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:14.200 and I think that we're so used to thinking about miracles, like oh 312 00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:18.720 Jesus turned the water to wine. There are miracles in our day every single 313 00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:22.039 day, and I call those mini miracles. I point out every single mini 314 00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:25.079 miracle in my day, and I'm like, thank you, God, Thank 315 00:25:25.119 --> 00:25:27.960 you God, Thank you God, because I want to remember my support. 316 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:33.279 If you have anxious attachment, it's really common that you are going to see 317 00:25:33.319 --> 00:25:37.440 all the negative because you're always trying to protect yourself. So in my life 318 00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:41.079 I was prone to seeing negative. I mean, if you just have a 319 00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:44.720 fucking brain, it's easier to see the negative. But what you want to 320 00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:48.200 start doing is listing all the mini miracles you see every single day in your 321 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:53.319 life to convince yourself, to remind yourself, to show yourself that you are 322 00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:57.000 being supported. I look around and I say, oh, the light just 323 00:25:57.119 --> 00:26:00.559 turned green and I just got here. It's any miracle. In Florida, 324 00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:03.240 there are some bridges that go up. And when I get a bridge and 325 00:26:03.319 --> 00:26:06.799 I pass it and it didn't go up when it was supposed to go up, 326 00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:10.839 I say, yes, mini miracle. When I get a soulmate client, 327 00:26:10.920 --> 00:26:15.039 I say yes, mini miracle. I mentally make a list all day, 328 00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:18.640 every day of all the mini miracles I see in my life, and 329 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:23.759 I thank the universe for them because it reminds me that I am being supported. 330 00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:29.079 And if you don't feel financially supported by the universe, you don't feel 331 00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:34.319 supported. On planet Earth, you have to start cultivating a relationship with the 332 00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:40.480 universe in which you can feel supported. That can be affirmations, it can 333 00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:44.920 be listing the mini miracles. And what this is gonna do is instead of 334 00:26:44.960 --> 00:26:48.039 you feeling cold and alone at the center of your universe alone, now it's 335 00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:52.079 you at the center, but the universe too, but your guides and your 336 00:26:52.119 --> 00:26:56.319 angels too, your guardians too, So you can remember, oh, I 337 00:26:56.359 --> 00:27:02.279 am being supported, I am being guided, I am being I am not 338 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:06.920 alone. I know we have mercury retrograde around the corner, we have an 339 00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:11.359 eclipse, and I have so many dms of people getting into their wounded masks 340 00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:15.559 skill in worrying about how is this going to affect me? What is this 341 00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:18.240 going to change in me? What am I going to have to do? 342 00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:25.720 Getting so cautious about what possibly could change in their life that they're resisting what 343 00:27:26.039 --> 00:27:30.400 is and already focusing on things that they might not even have control over. 344 00:27:30.759 --> 00:27:37.440 Sometimes things happen for straight up good fortune to come into your life. Sometimes 345 00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:41.960 things need to be removed, they need to be shifted, they need to 346 00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:48.279 be transformed to make room for something better to come in. If we're freaking 347 00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:52.480 out about what we cannot change, it's going to be impossible to see the 348 00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:56.440 mini miracle. If we're freaking out about what we cannot change, it's going 349 00:27:56.480 --> 00:28:02.000 to be so hard to focus on what we can change. When I deleted 350 00:28:02.079 --> 00:28:04.359 my first chapter that I was writing. If you don't know, I'm writing 351 00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:10.079 a book, and I wrote the first chapter, perfected it, whatever I 352 00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:12.960 deleted. It, spent like two days crying about it, whatever it was, 353 00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:18.559 and eventually I've realized, Okay, I can't control that I deleted this 354 00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:22.200 chapter. I can control how I write it the next time. I can 355 00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:27.319 control infusing even more positive energy, making it even better than it was the 356 00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:30.599 first time, And it ended up being better than the first time go around. 357 00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:36.640 There is gold at the end of your change. Okay, there is 358 00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:41.759 a pot of gold at the end of your change. When you accept what 359 00:28:41.880 --> 00:28:45.799 change is happening and you instead just focus on showing up as your best self. 360 00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:52.240 It becomes too confusing and too clouded when you're trying to focus on what 361 00:28:52.319 --> 00:28:59.039 you cannot change, because it deprives you of the opportunity to shift what is 362 00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:03.359 possible, which can be your attitude, your focus, your attention, your 363 00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:10.799 emotion. I think understanding your values is really helpful to know where to focus. 364 00:29:11.319 --> 00:29:15.559 I wrote down all the things I value my health, my wellness, 365 00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:18.759 my relationship, my career. Said, I can understand where to put my 366 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:23.000 focus and my attention. We also want to do this when it comes to 367 00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:27.279 Okay, what do I value and what can I control that I value? 368 00:29:27.640 --> 00:29:33.359 I can control eating high vibe foods. I can control if something in my 369 00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:38.519 body happens to be going on and oh, dermatitis, for example, I 370 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:44.720 could not figure out what the hell was causing dermatitis to happen on my face 371 00:29:45.240 --> 00:29:48.480 for a very long time. It was not in my control. It felt 372 00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:52.440 very out of control. I eventually realized I was allergic to almonds, and 373 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:57.000 then it was in my control to stop eating the almonds. I think it's 374 00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:02.880 important to highlight here that sometimes tis what's in your control versus what's not in 375 00:30:02.920 --> 00:30:08.079 your control might shift too. For the four oh my god years, I 376 00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:11.920 could not figure out why I was breaking out in dermatitis, and it wasn't 377 00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:15.720 until I got an allergy test that I was then able to stop eating the 378 00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:22.960 almonds. I literally changed my almond butter three times. I tried doing different 379 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:26.599 protein different I cut off caffeine. I was trying so many different things, 380 00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:30.839 but it never dawned on me to take almonds out completely. And so at 381 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:36.359 the time, dermatitis and taking it off my face was not in my control. 382 00:30:36.599 --> 00:30:40.160 It wasn't until I got the allergy test that I was able to have 383 00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:44.799 better control over it and stop eating the almonds so I could stop causing the 384 00:30:44.839 --> 00:30:51.400 allergic reaction. So sometimes what's in our control can even shift. So it's 385 00:30:51.480 --> 00:30:56.599 important that we pay attention to what's happening in our reality. The best way 386 00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:03.079 to manifest and align with good experiences is to feel good. Now, if 387 00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:08.279 you're going through any sort of circumstance that doesn't feel good to you, how 388 00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:15.119 can you accept what is and also understand beyond it? How can you accept 389 00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:19.519 what is but also understand from your higher self point of view? Then maybe 390 00:31:19.799 --> 00:31:25.079 this wind is going to knock down some trees but ultimately clear a path for 391 00:31:25.160 --> 00:31:30.559 your purpose. How can we start to open ourselves up? All we have 392 00:31:30.599 --> 00:31:33.880 to do curiosity. You don't have to believe a damn word I am saying. 393 00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:37.799 You don't, but it would help. It would help you if you 394 00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:41.680 were just curious about what I was saying. If you were like, maybe 395 00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:45.480 CC could beyond to something. That's all you need. You just need a 396 00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:49.160 little seed of what if this is happening for me for that to start to 397 00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:53.799 grow. You just need a little seed of maybe I could work with this. 398 00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:57.519 Maybe I can't control that, but I can control how I'm showing up 399 00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:02.000 every single day. I even think about high school. So many of us 400 00:32:02.079 --> 00:32:06.799 go to high school every single day so miserable, or went to high school 401 00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:08.480 so miserable every single day, like oh, get me out of here. 402 00:32:09.079 --> 00:32:13.440 But really, if we just changed our attitude, it probably would have been 403 00:32:13.559 --> 00:32:19.160 a little bit more enjoyable. Even just reflecting on things that we've done and 404 00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:22.240 gone through and we're like, you know what, if I just had a 405 00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:25.359 little bit of a better attitude that day, that vacation, that high school 406 00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:30.160 experience, probably would have been a little bit better. So we're writing down 407 00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:35.559 what we can control and what we can't control, all while knowing what is 408 00:32:35.640 --> 00:32:39.640 in our control system might change, it could alter. We might have more 409 00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:44.839 control sometimes than other times. If we get injured, if something happens, 410 00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:49.720 you never know. So we want to understand right now, this is what's 411 00:32:49.720 --> 00:32:52.559 in my control center, and right now, this is what's outside of my 412 00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:57.960 control center. Here's what I can control. How do I want to control 413 00:32:58.039 --> 00:33:02.119 this? How can I show up better? How can I encode myself to 414 00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:06.640 be my best self and show up every single day so life feels a little 415 00:33:06.680 --> 00:33:10.680 bit better? And ultimately, how can I accept what is for me? 416 00:33:12.119 --> 00:33:15.079 I was so depleted by the end of dermatitis. I had no choice but 417 00:33:15.160 --> 00:33:19.680 to accept it, because what the fuck else was I going to do. 418 00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:24.720 I kept trying to experiment with myself. I kept my magnifying glass close to 419 00:33:24.759 --> 00:33:30.720 my eyes, and I kept exploring for what could possibly be the real culprit 420 00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:35.039 here. But I stopped letting it dictate how I was going to feel. 421 00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:38.400 I kept looking for a cure, I kept looking for an answer, but 422 00:33:38.519 --> 00:33:43.039 I didn't let it beat me up as much as it did at the end 423 00:33:43.039 --> 00:33:47.720 of it, because there's no point. There's no point. When you start 424 00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:52.839 putting your energy towards what you can control, you start to realize you have 425 00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:55.799 a lot more fucking energy than you originally thought. When you start putting your 426 00:33:55.920 --> 00:34:00.880 energy towards what you can change, realized, Wow, I don't feel as 427 00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:05.640 bad as I did before, And it's actually so liberating to say oh, 428 00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:09.239 I have no control over that. Whatever. When something someone may perceive as 429 00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:12.960 negative happens, now, I just try to laugh at it. I'm like, 430 00:34:12.960 --> 00:34:17.199 oh, okay, silly me. Didn't realize that my mistake. But 431 00:34:17.480 --> 00:34:22.599 maybe this happened for a reason. You never know. Every time the bridge 432 00:34:22.599 --> 00:34:24.840 comes up and throw rata and I'm like, mother effer, I have to 433 00:34:24.880 --> 00:34:29.159 sit behind this thing. Instead of being so upset I'm in traffic, I 434 00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:31.760 put on an audiobook and learn something new. Instead of being so upset I'm 435 00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:35.800 in traffic. I think, you know what, maybe if this bridge didn't 436 00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:39.400 go up, something bad could have happened. I tell myself a story that's 437 00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:44.039 going to empower me to keep living my best self. So what the fuck 438 00:34:44.119 --> 00:34:47.800 story are you telling yourself? Because that's dictating how you're feeling every single day. 439 00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:52.840 I love you so much. If this podcast episode resonated with you, 440 00:34:52.920 --> 00:34:54.079 which I hope it did, it would mean the world to me. If 441 00:34:54.079 --> 00:34:58.960 you left a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If not for me, 442 00:34:59.039 --> 00:35:01.559 do it for you. It's good karma. The sparkle in me as 443 00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:05.559 always honors the sparkle in you, and I will see you in the next 444 00:35:05.599 --> 00:35:24.519 one. Mom, sema into jes. Can't change I. Cannage cancer, 445 00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.320 I can't. Sus me, can't such me