WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.120 --> 00:00:04.480 Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo. And Lorenzo on 2 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:08.119 this episode, I want to talk about being a compassionate leader. I think 3 00:00:08.119 --> 00:00:11.359 that's a great topic to have and we need more of it. We need 4 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:16.160 more compassionate leaders, and we need leaders who are more compassionate. And that's 5 00:00:16.199 --> 00:00:18.960 not the same thing, you know, like, there are leaders out there 6 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:22.559 who have none of it, and at the very least you know where you 7 00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:26.719 stand with them and you know what to expect. But there are also leaders 8 00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:33.560 out there who I think are They're compassionate in general, but then something happens 9 00:00:33.600 --> 00:00:38.359 where they have a harder time turning it on. And I'm thinking about an 10 00:00:38.399 --> 00:00:44.399 example that I had recently where a leader's job was to basically show a person 11 00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:48.920 how to do something, and this person was not new to the organization, 12 00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:53.039 and so I think the assumption from the leader was that they should already know 13 00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:56.600 how to do this, and it was clear in the way that they were 14 00:00:56.719 --> 00:01:02.439 teaching them that leader thought that they should have known how to do this already. 15 00:01:03.439 --> 00:01:07.000 And because of that, there was a complete lack of compassion in the 16 00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:11.319 in the training and the teaching style. And I thought, you know, 17 00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:15.000 we talked about it afterwards, and it was just it was a little out 18 00:01:15.040 --> 00:01:17.719 of character for this person, And so I thought, this is this is 19 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:21.519 an interesting topic because you know, I started looking at my own life and 20 00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:25.159 how I interact with people and thinking, Okay, do do I sometimes have 21 00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:30.359 an easier or harder time turning on compassion for other people? And when leaders 22 00:01:30.519 --> 00:01:33.519 do this for me, does the impact how I feel about them and how 23 00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:36.480 I feel about my relationship with them? So I thought it's a good topic 24 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:38.480 because I think it happens a lot. I think, you know, we 25 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:42.359 we're all individual people, and we all have different levels of compassion, and 26 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:45.640 sometimes it's easier for us to turn it on. Sometimes it's hard for us 27 00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:47.519 to turn it on. Yeah, I think too. It's one of those 28 00:01:47.560 --> 00:01:51.480 things where when you when you kind of see yourself in others, when when 29 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:55.719 you have a connection with people that that you can have a similar background, 30 00:01:55.840 --> 00:02:00.079 a similar you know, personality type, a similar view of the world. 31 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:04.640 Sure, those are the types of things where it makes makes compassion a little 32 00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:07.479 bit easier as far as for most you know people, because like there's there's 33 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:12.400 already a familiarity with who somebody is and kind of maybe what they've been through 34 00:02:12.599 --> 00:02:15.439 or or or how they see things. So I think that it kind of 35 00:02:15.560 --> 00:02:21.439 builds into your ability to be more compassionate for someone versus someone where maybe you 36 00:02:21.479 --> 00:02:25.719 don't have a great relationship with or a clear understanding of who they are, 37 00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:30.520 their background, their experiences in life, and it's hard to be more compassionate 38 00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:36.319 because you don't really have a true understanding maybe of the things that they're going 39 00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:38.360 through or what they're working on. So I think it's important because even the 40 00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:43.560 best leaders who I think are you know, who show an authentic element of 41 00:02:43.560 --> 00:02:46.039 compassion, you know, are going to have those opportunities in those places where 42 00:02:46.039 --> 00:02:51.520 it's kind of like working through for the first time a situation or someone that 43 00:02:51.520 --> 00:02:53.439 they work with that's very different than somebody they work with with people they've worked 44 00:02:53.439 --> 00:03:00.280 with before. There's a lot there that requires a certain level of not just 45 00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:02.919 like what you were saying earlier around compassion like compassion leaders, but leaders who 46 00:03:02.919 --> 00:03:07.680 are compassionate, Like there's an element of this that really is around I think 47 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:14.800 self awareness and an understanding of you know, how can you be compassionate regardless 48 00:03:14.879 --> 00:03:20.120 of maybe the initial connections you have or familiarities you have with people, and 49 00:03:20.360 --> 00:03:23.479 how can you be you know, not just compassion leader, but a leader 50 00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:28.520 that's more compassionate when it comes to the day to day work that we do. 51 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:30.159 What are the things that you're doing that show compassion. What are the 52 00:03:30.199 --> 00:03:35.919 things that you're doing that that you may have to think about, look upon 53 00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:38.840 and adjust to make sure that you're showing up in a way that you know 54 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:42.400 allows people to do their best work right. So, you know, I've 55 00:03:42.439 --> 00:03:45.639 often talked about on the show, and it's very important to me to try 56 00:03:45.639 --> 00:03:49.800 to assume positive intent and and sometimes it's to a fault. So I've I've 57 00:03:49.800 --> 00:03:53.479 been in situations where I've assumed positive intent and it has burned me because the 58 00:03:53.479 --> 00:03:59.400 person did not have positive intent and that became a problem. But in general, 59 00:03:59.439 --> 00:04:02.840 I think it's serves me well to assume positive intent and the times when 60 00:04:02.879 --> 00:04:10.759 I get burned for it are outweighed by the number of times where it helps 61 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:15.240 the relationship to start from that standpoint. So as a leader, you can't 62 00:04:15.319 --> 00:04:18.160 just assume positive intent and then move on with your day. If there's a 63 00:04:18.199 --> 00:04:23.040 person who needs to be doing something differently, or they need to get better 64 00:04:23.079 --> 00:04:25.920 at their job, or they there's something that they're expected to do and they're 65 00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:30.680 not doing it well. It's not enough to just assume that they aren't lazy, 66 00:04:30.759 --> 00:04:32.839 that they aren't cutting corners, that there's a if they're not doing it, 67 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:36.560 there's a reason they're not doing it, and it's not that they It's 68 00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:42.800 not something you can attribute to something either nefarious or malignant. It's it's something 69 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:46.800 that is you know, if you're assuming positive intent, you're assuming that they're 70 00:04:46.839 --> 00:04:50.040 they're at least coming to work wanting to do their best. And if it's 71 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:54.920 not happening, it's not because they going they're they're not saying to themselves, 72 00:04:54.959 --> 00:04:58.240 I don't care about this. They they think they are caring about it and 73 00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:00.800 they think they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. But if you're in 74 00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:02.160 a leadership role, that doesn't mean they get away with it. It doesn't 75 00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:04.199 mean that you can just say, oh, well, you know they're not 76 00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:06.839 doing their job well, but they think they're doing their job well. So 77 00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:10.839 that's enough, you know, Like, no, as a leader, you 78 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:15.839 need to fix that problem, whatever it is. And so starting from a 79 00:05:15.879 --> 00:05:18.279 standpoint of assuming positive intent, I think is a prerequisite, like you need 80 00:05:18.319 --> 00:05:21.839 to start there, because if you assume that they're cutting corners or being lazy, 81 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:25.839 or that they're unethical, or that they don't care, then it will 82 00:05:25.839 --> 00:05:29.680 come off in the way that you train and teach people that you don't actually 83 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:31.920 believe that they are. You know, they're not assuming positive intent. But 84 00:05:31.959 --> 00:05:36.959 once you've assumed positive intent and you go into this this these interactions with people 85 00:05:38.199 --> 00:05:42.920 from a standpoint of trying to fix the problem, it can be a touchy 86 00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:46.160 situation. And there are ways to do this right when it comes to teaching 87 00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:51.839 somebody or training something somebody on something that in actuality, they should already know 88 00:05:51.879 --> 00:05:57.199 how to do, and that can be difficult, especially when it comes to 89 00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:01.199 you know, if they are one of many people are already doing this well 90 00:06:01.240 --> 00:06:04.800 and they're not doing it well. Believe me, their team members and their 91 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:09.480 coworkers know they're not doing it well. It's not just them. And so 92 00:06:09.720 --> 00:06:12.160 how you go about it as a leader is it's really important to do this 93 00:06:12.199 --> 00:06:15.240 the right way so that you aren't just you know, solving the problem, 94 00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:16.360 but you're doing it in a way that keeps the rest of the team engaged 95 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:19.319 too. Absolutely, and I think that it's such an important you know, 96 00:06:19.920 --> 00:06:24.959 piece of this when it comes to being the leader of leaders One of the 97 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:29.319 things that I not only look for when it comes to assessing talent and making 98 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:33.720 decisions around a leadership team, but also that that I look for constantly is 99 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:41.319 people's ability to show compassion and to understand that that people are multifaceted, that 100 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:46.560 there's a lot of things that will help people either you know, be successful, 101 00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:50.120 to do their best body of work, to be able to show up 102 00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:56.079 in a way that is you know, not not only helpful, but but 103 00:06:56.800 --> 00:07:02.360 you know, allows you to truly think about, you know, how things 104 00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:06.079 not only at work but outside of work can impact them and like can can 105 00:07:06.199 --> 00:07:10.600 cause them to show up in a certain way, and like these are these 106 00:07:10.600 --> 00:07:15.199 are critical things that are super important to me as I think about motivating and 107 00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:20.519 inspiring people around them. And again there's as much as I've been in leadership 108 00:07:20.519 --> 00:07:24.920 for a long times and as much experience as I have, like, there's 109 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:29.839 still things that need to be worked on when it comes to understanding how to 110 00:07:29.879 --> 00:07:34.639 be compassionate and how to to do that consistently. Not to over use compassion, 111 00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:38.959 because that can also be a thing we can get caught up so much 112 00:07:39.079 --> 00:07:41.879 in one side of it that it can be difficult to kind of pull back 113 00:07:41.879 --> 00:07:44.800 from that. And when you're a leader of leaders or you have a lot 114 00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:47.800 of people on a team, there's also an element of like how do you 115 00:07:47.920 --> 00:07:50.439 how do you balance that across to everyone? How do you make sure that 116 00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:54.959 you are compassionate in the moments that call for it, but that you also 117 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:58.279 have the ability in the band with to be compassionate for many people. And 118 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:03.120 so like, there's a lot here that I think I'm always thinking about and 119 00:08:03.800 --> 00:08:07.040 considering. And that's why when you're thinking about building leadership teams and leading leaders, 120 00:08:07.480 --> 00:08:11.319 who you have on those teams, how they work together, how they 121 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:15.319 work well, how they help each other and support each other, that to 122 00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:20.279 me is also a way of making sure that you have a much larger kind 123 00:08:20.279 --> 00:08:24.480 of compassion pool to pull from when it comes from those that may need it 124 00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:26.800 in the moment. And hopefully that makes sense. But like I'm just really 125 00:08:26.839 --> 00:08:31.240 thinking of, like how the team dynamics and how you select leaders to be 126 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:37.960 on a team is such an important piece of providing the space for compassion to 127 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:41.279 truly live amongst a team in a business. Right now, it makes perfect 128 00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:46.840 sense because I think there are situations where people are miscast in roles right. 129 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:50.000 Either they're in a leadership role and they shouldn't be, or they're in a 130 00:08:50.080 --> 00:08:52.759 role that is non leadership and whatever it is that they're expected to do as 131 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:56.960 part of their job, they're just not good at doing it. And if 132 00:08:56.000 --> 00:09:01.039 you are a leader of people or a leader of leaders, to start from 133 00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:05.919 this standpoint of thinking, okay, is is there a way where this person 134 00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:11.440 does get to a place where they're able to do this correctly? And starting 135 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:13.679 there, starting with the assumption that okay, there is let's assume there is 136 00:09:13.720 --> 00:09:16.799 a way for this person to get there. Great Now, it's my job 137 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:20.480 as the leader to help them get there in any way that I can now. 138 00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:24.120 Where the compassion can be, where it can be too much, and 139 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:28.279 where it can derail you is if you lose sight of that initial thing that 140 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:33.799 north star to you needs to be Does this person have the ability to get 141 00:09:33.799 --> 00:09:37.960 there eventually? And am I seeing steps that are putting them along that path 142 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:41.480 to where I can still answer that question to myself as a yes. If 143 00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:43.279 the answer is yes, okay, great now, it's time to the next 144 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:46.000 interaction. Let's get them there. But at some point in time, the 145 00:09:46.279 --> 00:09:50.639 part of compassion becomes compassion for the rest of the team, which means if 146 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:54.799 a person is miscast in a role or if they're not doing their job correctly, 147 00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:58.600 holding them accountable doesn't mean a lack of compassion. It means that you 148 00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:01.279 are having compassion for more than just that one person. There's a broader thing 149 00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:05.200 going on here that you have to, you know, make sure that you 150 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:09.240 maintain and how you interact with that person in the accountability also has to be 151 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:13.879 compassionate. It doesn't, you know, signify a lack of compassion just because 152 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:18.720 that you it's turned from hey buddy, let's walk and talk together and tell 153 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:22.440 me about what's going on to now all of a sudden, there's a problem 154 00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:26.519 that needs to be fixed. And these are the expectations, those things, 155 00:10:26.519 --> 00:10:31.120 those conversations need to be integrated with each other at all times, not a 156 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:35.360 transition from one to the other, because there it can't ever be a surprise 157 00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:39.399 or a shock to a person that all of a sudden it's moved from one 158 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:41.720 to the other. It always has to be like this. So the first 159 00:10:41.720 --> 00:10:45.879 conversation that you have with a person when it comes to getting better and you're 160 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:48.240 trying to have compassion is Hey, these are the expectations of the role. 161 00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:52.360 I'm committed to helping you get there. Let's do it together because you need 162 00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:54.840 to be able to do this and this and this and these are the expectations, 163 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:56.720 so let's do it together, right. And if all the conversations start 164 00:10:56.799 --> 00:11:01.720 with that kind of reiteration of these are the expectations, then the compassion is 165 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:05.279 on how you get them there and how you train them and how you teach 166 00:11:05.320 --> 00:11:09.000 them. But it can't just seem informal from the beginning because then at some 167 00:11:09.120 --> 00:11:13.759 point in time, if they're not moving along, you need to turn it 168 00:11:13.799 --> 00:11:16.679 on, and that can be more derailing to the interaction into the relationship than 169 00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:20.440 if it was there all along. And then so I think part of that 170 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:26.159 compassion again is really clear expectations on what the expectation is, so that when 171 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:30.480 you are doing the training and the teaching, they understand that there's a goal 172 00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:33.840 in mind, and that goal is that expectation of what you need to be 173 00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:35.399 able to do to be able to do this job well and maintain the job. 174 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:39.480 Yeah. I think it's a great point because I think this is where 175 00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:43.639 I think some leaders get stuck a little bit when it comes to thinking that 176 00:11:43.799 --> 00:11:50.720 kind of compassion in leadership is almost acting like a counselor or someone who's there 177 00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:56.559 to help people unpack and work through things that may be impacting them. And 178 00:11:56.600 --> 00:12:00.120 again, a part of a job of a leader is to show compassion and 179 00:12:00.120 --> 00:12:03.919 to understand, but it has to be built within the framework of the there's 180 00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:07.480 a job here, there's there's an expectation here, there's things that we do 181 00:12:07.559 --> 00:12:11.879 at work, and so like you can't fully kind of like spend your time 182 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:16.159 all day long, you know, kind of thinking that you're going to show 183 00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:22.279 compassion through spending time talking about things not related to work, Like like there's 184 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:24.279 definitely those times you're gonna have those conversations and you need to step up in 185 00:12:24.279 --> 00:12:28.279 those spaces. But like so much of that it to your point, like 186 00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:35.000 the base and the foundation for that really has to be in the framework of 187 00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:37.639 the expectations of doing the job and being clear. And people say clarity is 188 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:41.759 kindness. I think this is a really good example of what you're of that 189 00:12:41.799 --> 00:12:43.759 and what you're talking about, Like to be kind is to be clear, 190 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:48.440 like to be able to share and talk to people about the responsibilities that we 191 00:12:48.519 --> 00:12:52.240 have in the jobs that we have and the expectations of the jobs and being 192 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:56.440 really clear about that, then we can focus on getting that work done. 193 00:12:56.559 --> 00:13:00.200 And then when there's times that things pop up where you could address them, 194 00:13:00.200 --> 00:13:03.240 you can just address them and then kind of get back to what is expected 195 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:07.080 and what's what's clear about the role that we have to get to. And 196 00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:09.200 again, I know it's it's tough because a lot of times you hear about 197 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:11.480 compassion, you hear about these examples and you want to go right to the 198 00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:16.759 extremes of you know, something really that's it's kind of really out there that's 199 00:13:16.840 --> 00:13:18.799 going on that somebody needs help with, and like, look, that's why 200 00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.799 you know, you have great relationships with your team, You build trust with 201 00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:26.600 your team, You leverage resources, you leverage benefits that companies have. You 202 00:13:26.679 --> 00:13:30.759 do the right thing to make sure people have what they need to work through 203 00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:33.840 what they're working through. But there's there's always a part of it which is 204 00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:39.279 like that there's a there's a job, and there's expectations that have to be 205 00:13:39.320 --> 00:13:41.759 done. And if you don't ever talk about those things, then to your 206 00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:45.320 point, I think you're setting yourself up. You know, to to to 207 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:50.440 really you know, have some some hard times when when you have to start 208 00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:52.039 talking about those things and it feels like it's coming out of left field, 209 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:54.679 and it feels like, oh, well, what happened to your compassion? 210 00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:58.919 You know, you used to never talk about these expectations, and now we 211 00:13:58.960 --> 00:14:01.360 have to talk about these expectations. Where if you always talked about the expectations 212 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:05.120 and then provide compassion, then it's not such a shock to the system when 213 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:09.600 things have to be you know, be pivoted to talk about the work right. 214 00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:15.000 I think that's a great example because oftentimes when when leaders find themselves in 215 00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:18.360 difficult situations like this, it's when something extreme comes up, right, something 216 00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:22.759 happens and you think, oh my gosh, I really have to develop the 217 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:28.639 compassion here. But something extreme can rise to the level of maybe this person 218 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:33.799 is one hundred percent not in the right role, or maybe something has happened 219 00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:39.240 where the company expectations are that this person needs to be held accountable to something, 220 00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:43.080 or or I'm putting my own role and my own job at risk by 221 00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:46.879 not holding them accountable. And if you've never had a conversation with them in 222 00:14:46.919 --> 00:14:52.039 the past about accountability and about what their responsibilities are as an employee. It 223 00:14:52.039 --> 00:14:54.919 can seem like, oh my gosh, this is the this is the wrong 224 00:14:54.039 --> 00:14:58.720 time to hold them accountable. It's like it's like you know the stories you 225 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:03.720 hear online that are you know, sometimes real, but sometimes not. Where 226 00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:07.720 it's like, oh, this person was fired because they were late to work 227 00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:11.559 because they were taking their mom to the hospital, right, and it's like, 228 00:15:11.799 --> 00:15:13.399 oh my gosh, how could you ever do that. It's like, 229 00:15:13.480 --> 00:15:16.759 uh no, that's not how it happened. This person was late to work 230 00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:20.360 seven thousand times and this happened to be the final time. Now is it 231 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:24.639 wrong for that to be the final time? I don't know. Every situation 232 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:28.240 is different. It's between you and your company and your people to figure that 233 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:31.759 out. But in general, that doesn't happen to a person. That's not 234 00:15:31.799 --> 00:15:37.200 why they were fired. They there's a pattern, and there's probably a lack 235 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:43.240 of accountability and a lack of compassion in explaining what the expectations are to a 236 00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:48.039 person that happened in advance that then led to this happening. And if you, 237 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:50.720 as a leader are going through this the right way, and you are 238 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:54.879 and you are making sure that you know part of being a compassionate leader is 239 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:58.720 making sure your people understand what the expectations are from the very beginning and in 240 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:03.960 every conversation. Then it's so much easier to make sure that that is part 241 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:08.960 of a broader conversation. When something happens that is larger or more impactful, 242 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:14.039 where you have to kind of where the accountability might be dialed up, then 243 00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:18.639 the interaction with between you and the employee won't be any different than it was 244 00:16:18.759 --> 00:16:22.879 before. It's just now the consequences are larger, the implications are higher than 245 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:27.480 what they were before. But what the employee has come to expect out of 246 00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:33.480 you when it comes to okay, clarity, kindness, compassion, and accountability 247 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:37.120 altogether, that will be the same. And you will have exercised that muscle 248 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:41.720 often enough in interactions that require, you know, lifting the five pound weight 249 00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:44.960 to where now all of a sudden, you're lifting the fifty pound weight. 250 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:48.279 It doesn't feel quite as heavy, because if you don't do the five pound 251 00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:51.279 weight over and over and over again, that fifty pound weight is going to 252 00:16:51.320 --> 00:16:56.559 feel very daunting. And oftentimes it's when leaders get derailed during those conversations and 253 00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:59.200 it doesn't go off for them either. Absolutely, And with that it brings 254 00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:00.679 us to this episode's Women at Hack. But first, if your works for 255 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:04.119 our sponsors, all right, Today's Woman at Hack is about getting out of 256 00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:08.799 the mindset that as a leader, your your role is binary. Either you 257 00:17:08.839 --> 00:17:12.960 should be solving problems or staying out of them altogether. If you're a leader 258 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:18.039 of people and your job is to is to get people better and to make 259 00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:22.519 people better at things, it doesn't mean that responsibility falls wholly on you. 260 00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:26.000 It's on the employee as well, and it could be on other leaders. 261 00:17:26.039 --> 00:17:27.640 And it's a kind of a group effort thing here. So what I see 262 00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:32.200 out of a lot of leaders where they get stuck is they think to themselves, 263 00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:36.000 I can't solve this problem, so I'm not going to get involved altogether. 264 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:38.759 And you know, change that mindset. You know, if you can 265 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:42.240 do anything, you should do something. It doesn't mean you have to solve 266 00:17:42.279 --> 00:17:45.839 the problem. It doesn't mean that you have to make it so the problem 267 00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:48.640 goes away, or that the employee is now all of a sudden great at 268 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:52.880 doing whatever it is at their job. If the idea of being a compassionate 269 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:57.960 leader is taking empathy or sympathy to the next level, So compassion is if 270 00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:03.720 you if you have empathy for something or for somebody, and that empathy drives 271 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:07.160 you to feel like there's something that should be done or something that you should 272 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:10.039 do. It's like watching a new story and thinking, oh, that's that's 273 00:18:10.119 --> 00:18:12.480 terrible, or watching something and saying, that's terrible. I have to do 274 00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:17.319 something about this. And if you if you get that feeling, that's what 275 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:19.759 compassion is. I have to do something about this. If just because you 276 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:23.359 don't feel like you can solve the issue doesn't mean don't do anything about it. 277 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:26.680 Start working with the employee and help them in whatever ways you can. 278 00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:32.680 That's what being a compassionate leaders is about. Don't don't imply that you can 279 00:18:32.720 --> 00:18:36.839 solve the problem from the beginning if you can't, but be clear about what 280 00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:38.480 you can do or what you think you can do, and work with the 281 00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:42.000 employee to get them there. And then ultimately it's on them. But if 282 00:18:42.039 --> 00:18:47.200 you can show that compassion those interactions, it will strengthen your relationship with them, 283 00:18:47.400 --> 00:18:49.799 and employees are more likely to want to put effort into solving problems if 284 00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:53.400 they know that they're being surrounded by leaders who have compassion for them. Yeah, 285 00:18:53.480 --> 00:18:56.000 I think it's a it's a great point, you know, the element 286 00:18:56.079 --> 00:19:00.480 of kind of taking action. And I think that I think sometime times leaders, 287 00:19:00.599 --> 00:19:03.440 you know what we were talking about, kind of get stuck in the 288 00:19:03.480 --> 00:19:07.039 idea that it's their responsibility to solve it versus it's kind of your responsibility to 289 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:12.160 help, you know, and and and that means like everything from again offering 290 00:19:12.200 --> 00:19:17.119 resources or benefits to saying, you know, hey, my my my car 291 00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:18.480 broke down, you know what I mean, Like it broke down or I 292 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:21.720 got an a fender bender, so I don't have, you know, reliable 293 00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:25.200 means of transportation to get to work, and saying okay, well, like 294 00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:27.359 I obviously I can't buy you a new car, you know, like I 295 00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:32.000 can't. I can't. I can't solve that aspect of your transportation issue. 296 00:19:32.039 --> 00:19:33.000 But we can talk about all right, well, what can we do? 297 00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:37.640 How what are your options? What are things that are going on? Is 298 00:19:37.640 --> 00:19:41.119 there something that we can do to help you get public transport to get here? 299 00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:45.359 Can we adjust your schedule? Are I can you carpool with someone? 300 00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:48.359 Like? Like, what are some things that we can do to help still 301 00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:52.920 accomplish the goal of the expectations of getting to work and doing the work so 302 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:55.759 long as they can, so long as they're healthy and they're okay. But 303 00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:59.319 at the same time, like that's the element of helping of like here's some 304 00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:03.680 ideas, and here's you know what I can maybe suggest to you to think 305 00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:06.200 about so that you don't have to miss work, so that you can be 306 00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:08.200 here and be on time and be able to get your work done. Like 307 00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:11.920 that, that's the helping piece versus saying, Okay, well, let me 308 00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:14.880 get on the phone, let me call uber, let me see what I 309 00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:18.480 can do, let me solve for this. And I think that's where again 310 00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:23.119 it's it's important to kind of help leaders work through being the person who gets 311 00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:26.720 the help, but not the person that's responsible for the solve. That's I 312 00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:30.960 think that's a perfect perfect way of putting it, because when when a person 313 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:33.519 comes to you as a leader with a problem this this, it can be 314 00:20:33.640 --> 00:20:37.119 this knee jerk to think, Okay, this is my problem to solve, 315 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:41.240 and that is a that is a tremendously heavy bag of bricks. So put 316 00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:45.759 that bag of bricks down and instead think about what you are actually capable of 317 00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:49.480 doing in a way that doesn't put your own job and your own relationship with 318 00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:52.240 your team at risk too, you know, right, because you can't. 319 00:20:52.279 --> 00:20:56.759 It can't start from a standpoint of you spending your time trying to solve this 320 00:20:56.799 --> 00:21:00.440 person's problem. They came to you and and you know what you have available 321 00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.680 to them, and you know what you don't. That's where it needs to 322 00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:07.440 lie. And it's okay to say that upfront, as opposed to you know, 323 00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:12.039 it's not just sucks to be you see tomorrow and it's not okay, 324 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:15.319 let's solve this together, and now you're putting off or putting on the back 325 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:18.319 burner everything that is your responsibility as a leader to the rest of your team. 326 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:22.359 You have to have that balance. And knowing that you have to have 327 00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:26.920 that balance and knowing that it is not your responsibility to solve these issues. 328 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:30.519 That's the first step. Entering these interactions with that knowledge and that kind of 329 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:34.920 that reassurance, that saying Okay, yes I am a leader, Yes there 330 00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:38.160 are things that I can do, but no, it is not my responsibility 331 00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:42.799 to fix this problem for this person. That is a tremendously freeing mindset to 332 00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:47.359 be in, and oftentimes it can lead you to think about ways outside the 333 00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:49.640 box to help this person, whereas if you approach it from the standpoint of 334 00:21:49.720 --> 00:21:52.799 now it's your responsibility to solve it, it can feel like I'm much more 335 00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:56.680 daunting task. Absolutely with that, it brings us to the end of this 336 00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:00.240 episode. This is hacking your leadership. I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris. Talk 337 00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:00.000 to you all next time.