Hello, everybody, Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. I'm Laura Caine.
This is Eric Rimhi. I feel like I haven't seen you in two weeks.
I know we were I'll producer Brian over here. Okay. So ah,
by the way, I'll have to tell you something funny, well not
too funny for Brian. But we were gone last week because I went to
New York City to see Evan perform in her latest show, which we will
get to. But my roommate a Antonio tells me that on Monday night,
knock knock, knock, knock, dog knock, Brian showed up so bad.
You know what it was is that you had just texted us about them.
I was like, I was like that to me. I was like,
oh, there's my reminder for this week. Okay, it's not your
fault. I know I did. We did tell you right like, that
wasn't my fault? Well I did? I? Yes, I did?
Didn't I okay because I did not. I know, I wouldn't be surprised
if I did. And I'm really sorry. Okay. So the oscars were
last night, yes they were, or Sunday night or whatever. So Eric
has his best and worst dressed lists. I do. So here's the thing.
I didn't have a chance to watch the Oscars because I was so busy.
I can tell you who with other work. But I did. I'll
tell you the Red Carpet arrival. Okay, that's important. Yes, Brian
and I watched the whole show, and so we have I have a couple
of little notes. I have thoughts. I have some thoughts as well.
I did see online today. Well I'll get to it. And I'm going
to tell you why this picture from twenty fourteen is cursed. This is a
cursed picture. The last picture of you at the eye, Well, there's
me right there, but we'll get to it. There's like a whole story
about it. It's kind of crazy. So we'll get to that as well.
And then we have the list of the winners in case you're super curious
and didn't watch the show. And I'm going to tell you about my crazy,
funny, annoying, fun magical, frustrating, nightmarish trip to New York
City? Was it? Wait? Was all things boiled down into one big
thing. See that's because I wasn't there. You weren't there, and you
were gonna be on FaceTime with me when I went down to go buy all
the fake designer stuff. But there's a whole new ball game that stuff does
not like is not laid down on the streets anymore. Like there was a
crack down apparently, so it's very clandestine, and I did end up getting
some fake stuff. But yo, it was difficult, and it was very
scaredry. It was very secretive, and I felt like I was going to
be arrested any minute for buying a fake like Gucci purse, which is really
beautiful. By the way. By the way, Laura doesn't have hairy legs
that I'm petting. Elvis's between us sound asleep snoring. Dogs are not supposed
to be on the podcast, but he can be on this pod just as
long as you he does not deter you from your job, which is co
hosting the show with me. What he doesn't need a dog to that regardless.
I know, seriously, seriously, listen, you too, can it?
Okay? No no way, no way, Jose, Okay, So
before we get to or you know what, if you don't can't, if
you don't put a lid on it, I'll make a spectacle, you know
what That'll be like do it? Do it? Yeah? Fine, go
ahead like a spectacle. Go ahead. I'll just say the words like times.
It doesn't really matter. I don't matter because we're not making money.
You might know, right. I want to do one thing before we talk
about our fabulous sponsors that help us put on the show every week. Mister
j I had another audition, which I'm not going to talk about yet because
I don't want to jinx it from my fabulous profile on backstage talk. Oh
my god, but this one could be a cool one. Okay, So
I'm going to ask mister Predicto if I'm going to get it. I don't
know what I'm going to find out as good as call in. I don't
know Garrott. Oh, Garrett, it's a whole different thing. Make sure
they don't see that, otherwise I will not get that. Well. Unfortunately,
I needed to put down my Instagram and my Facebook and stuff, and
Garrett is on there. Oh wow. Okay. Anyway, so mister Predicto,
will I get this audition that I did today? The answer is no.
The answer is yes. Oh does he ever say no? I feel
like he only says yes. He does say no every once in a while.
Every once in a while ask him again, just to see if you
know, if the fortune's true, mister Predicto, Will I be getting a
phone call within the next few weeks saying I got this job? Yes,
I am sure. Hey, do you want me to one more time?
Sure, mister predictor. Am I going to get this job without hesitation?
Yeah? But he was already saying that he just does. Wait, wait,
wait, have Eric ask a question. Eric, ask him if he's
you're going to be straight next week? Ask him a real question. Well,
we want to know if he's right or not. Well, no,
I kind of don't want to just ask him any kind of question. Mister
Predicto, I took cilium husk last night, a lot of it. Well,
I have diarrhea for the rest of the week. It cannot be determined
at this time. Oh, that's a yes, that's a soft That is
it's gonna be a yes. Maybe he said he's saying that because it's not
gonna be all week, maybe just a few days, all right, Maybe
he's full of ship. Mister Predicto. Is Elvis the cutest dog in this
house? I would pay that little ball ten bucks to say no, Yes,
it is certain. Maybe he only does say yes. I swear he
said no a couple of times when we were using I think she reprogrammed the
chew. All right, Let's get to our sponsors, because we love them
and we thank them for helping us put on this show. For you,
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so do we want to talk oscars first? Or should we talk my New
York trip first? Lostkers. Okay, let's do oscars. Okay, I
got thoughts, all right, you do have thoughts. I have thoughts.
I watched the entire show, watching just the red Carpetcause that's all I had
time for. I love I'm gonna be very interested to see who you thought
was the best dressed and who you thought was the worst dress. So we'll
get to that at the the end, because that's like the big cherry on
top. Now, Jimmy Kimmel, I thought he did what I can't.
I don't I start thinking I love Jimmy. I don't hate him. I
don't. I think he's a pretty bad Oscar host, though he's just is
just you're not supposed to stand out that much, I really know. But
he's not like he's not that funny, Like his jokes are kind of like,
you know, they're like really short of being all right, but like
they're not funny. But he's also he's kind of like every every time he
starts talking, like everything about him just has kind of a snob sort of
like like persona and I just it rubs me the wrong way really much.
Everything like did you like it? At the end when he read the tweet
Trump, So that was that was kind of funny. It was it was
also their their token politics moment, which isn't it. I can't believe you're
still watching it, isn't it? That's you're jailed? I know? Well,
yeah, you know who should host? Who was funny is John Malaney?
John Laney was hilarious when he got up there. For like his is
that he's a comedian? Okay, because he's kind of well, I don't
know, maybe I'm just not aware of him. But is he fairly new
on the scene? Is he from SNL? Is he like A I don't
think he's that new. He stepped away for a little bit. There was
some sort of controversy. I don't know. It wasn't something he did.
It was just some stuff about him. I can't Maybe it was drugs or
something. I don't know. Okay, he got divorced, but we need
to talk about what the f is up with al Pacino? Oh my god,
Oh dude. He was just hammered. He just super old. They
have open bars out there, and he's like it was the last thing of
the oscars. He've been there all night. I'd have to be hammered to
sit through the oscars. I really really hope that that was it, and
it's not that he's just aging horribly. I would be hammered too if I
was a spot Did they at okay, this is the biggest award of the
night, this is the best picture and they show like he totally watched it,
because don't they usually show clips of each one? Or did my eyes
see and you just watched the delivery? Which you know. I kind of
liked it better that way though, because there was a moment where everyone was
like, what the fuck? I know, right, what's going on?
And even they flashed to who's who's the the other one that's like al Pacino?
Why can't I think of him? The other older action? Yes,
they flashed to him, and I was like, oh, I wonder what
his reaction? Who both had kids in their eightiessh. Also their wives are
like half their ages. Of course, Hey, if al Pacino asked me
to marryam I probably would. Well, you know, the first thing I
did this morning, since I didn't watch them, was googled best and worst
moments. Oh really? Ryan Gosling brought it with I am kid actually did
him and Emily Blunt with their when they did their announcement or the what you
call it where they announced one of the Yes, they did a great job.
They did a really good job on the on. One of the best
moments was John Cena walk out like naked naked. Yes, you know,
it was kind of funny, but it was more weird than it was funny.
And I was like, what is the point? I mean, best
costume might get it. Yeah, yeah, I had a body like that.
I would walk around like that. Oh. Best moment was Arnold Twartz
nigger though and Danny de Vito doing there. That was cute, hilarious And
is there anybody cuter than Emma Stone. She's just the most adorable actress,
real down to earth, seemingly nice person. I know she didn't think she
was gonna win. She was legitimately completely shocked. Oh she won, yeah,
yeah, Best Actress, Oppenheimer walked away with literally Cheryl everything. Let's
see Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor for Cilly and Murphy, Best
Supporting Actor for Robert Downey Junior. That was a cool really rooting for him,
divine Joy Randolph. That was a great speech too. She was in
the holdovers. She said that, Yeah, she was great she was.
I didn't see the holdovers. It was really it was really good. I'm
assuming she did a good job. I was kind of hoping Emily bluntma win
that one because I thought she did real she did a uncharacteristically good job in
Oppenheimer because she's not usually a huge drama actor. But I still haven't seen
Oppenheimer, and I'm here's why. I barely made it. I didn't even
make it through it. Well, I know I'm gonna love it. I
don't know if you will. But it is a good movie. Well,
it's important. I think it's important. Seemingly, isn't it about the making
of this horrible atomic bomb? Yes? So, I feel like so was
Evil Dead too? And you spent half the movie in the lobby Evil Dead
Rise or Evil Dead Rise? Yeah, side note. You know what I'm
in the middle of watching right now. I watched probably from four thirty to
five thirty this afternoon. Talk to me, Oh yeah, oh, what's
it on? I bought it for five nine something. It's not that scary.
It is freaky, all right, Oh my god? When they okay,
it is good, it is good. I think it was that scary
though. Guess what I watched Anyway Best Original Score Oppenheimer Oh totally does also
everything Oppenheimer one totally deserve too right. And then it was really great when
god Zella minus one one for Best Visual Effects. That was cute. I
was a little upset that the creator didn't win. Gareth Edwards directed that one.
But all right, anyway, okay, when you are done with your
best and worst dress list, I'm going to tell you why this infamous selfie
from the twenty fourteen Oscars that I am in right here is cursed. There's
evidence. But please give us your list of who should you start with?
Yeah, start with the best and then they do the worst, I say
real quick. I actually didn't think this was an egregious year for outfits for
the Oscars, Like everyone seemed pretty tamely they did. Yeah, it wasn't
crazy. I was watching the Red Carpet online and so, my I'm not
going to do this in any particular. Well, yes i am, because
I almost you have the number one for sure. Oh my god. When
she walked out, Zendaya, she's so beautiful, kidding you, she looked
a little different in the face. I thought she was She's so skinny,
she's so thin. This dress was gorgeous. It was so pretty, so
so so pretty. Yeah, so I agree with that. Tom Holland makes
no sense. Oh my god. And she just looks very classy. It
was very and her hair was great. Yeah, it was a very and
these are palm trees on the dress, so I mean it was It was
a beautiful, beautiful dress. I think it was gam Beast. I don't
know. I don't know who daddy is. Then, Emma Stone, you
like the peplum look. I actually really liked it. It did. I
did see this morning. It's very classic Hollywood. Now, this dress I
think was not versace, but anyway, it split up the back as she
was getting up to see her award. That was totally It's probably a twenty
five thousand dollars dress that was not well put together. That's insane to me.
Those things cost so much. Oh, they're so expensive. Care especially
do they pay for them or do they get sponsored by They'll probably get sponsored
like Charlie's Starren was wearing Christian door because all she had to do was say
I'm wearing Christian dere and it's paid for right well, and she is the
face of their true fume line if I was at the Oscars, unless they're
paying me to wear something, I'm wearing like jeans, graphic T shirt and
a blazer and that's what they got. Pay me to wear anything nicer than
that. When I went to the Oscars, what are you wearing? I'm
wearing windsor fashions for cashe Oh no, I was wearing cash Max. Nobody
would know Nordstern. Rac was one time I got a dressed off norths to
rack. Why there you go? Rac is nice. Actually, now this
might be a surprise for everybody, but I thought she looked great. Jodie
Foster looks like a like a prompt, like what parents wear when they supervised
prom I thought she looked fantastic. I thought her when she was in the
audience, she looked great and her face looked great. That dress is very
mom of the brightish it is, I thought for her, she looked fantastic.
I agree with doctor Lector. This I don't do. This is blows
my mind. Okay, so there's not a picture of the back. If
you could have seen the back of this, this is so one of these
actresses is my best dressed. One is my worst us, and they're both
in the upcoming movie Wicked. Cynthia Arrivo. This was an all leather dress.
Beautiful cool. It's a very odd color, emerald green, emerald green,
Wicked. This you know, I can see why she did it,
but the back, you guys look online. I couldn't get any of the
back, but it split and it was like tuxedo tails. Do you know?
I think it was Versaci. I'm not sure, but it was beautiful.
Now the ones that he didn't like can, I'm sorry, Oh god.
I really really like her a lot, and she usually knocks it out
of the park. I hated Charlie's their own in Christian Dior, the most
boring dress ever. It's so boring, washes her out. Makeup is too
severe, the hair is severe, and if you look at the necklace and
the earrings, they all run together. So she's got the necklaces on and
she has a pooch. She does she maybe she's praggy, but but hopefully
I don't seething wrong with that. It's just not great. It just wasn't.
Like Eric said, it kind of washes her out a little bit.
This color. The eyebrows were super severe and the eye makeup was really severe
and it's just lumpy, dumpy and bumpy. It's like a second dumpy bumpy.
I don't like it at all. She is a severe person, oh
man, but she is okay. This could have gone either way. It
could have well, and I think without the sleeping bag, it would have
been a really pretty dress. I knew this was going to happen yet in
Gambista whatever that Gsta ballet or something. The dress itself is very pretty.
That's a lot of volume right there. It just looks like she got stuck
in a cotton candy machine. It's awful. I was dying watching her up
at the microphone, like trying to use her hands and they were buried in
like pillows. I bet, I bet if she was to walk down the
street, there'd be tin cans and their like hair, like probably a condom.
Who knows what would be in there. It's kind of weird to me,
like it's because of the bleach blonde hair, the beach blonde eyebrows,
eyebrows sick. I was like, it was a very very odd it's the
eyebrows. Look. Yes, it was a very and the the makeup was
just pancaked on. Yeah, you can just come. Yes. And she's
another one that's so tiny. Oh, she must be the tiniest thing in
the world in person. Oh my gosh, she's so little on screen.
I this is going to be contra versial. But whatever, Billy Ellish eilish,
eyelish, eyelash in Chanel. She very rarely dresses like, you know,
it's very Billy Eilis. I will say it does. But the socks,
oh, get I couldn't with this thing. The socks aren't uneven.
There ones up, ones down. I'm like, she looks like she's going
to a Catholic schoolgirls formal. I don't know. A beautiful face, She's
got a beautiful face. She looks like she does a math. She looks.
Look at those eyes are so gorgeous. She does have nice eyes,
but she looks as she's gotten older, she looks like kind of unhealthy to
me, like there's something like going on. I feel like I think she
likes that look of that. You know, that's just her persona spread.
She does some heavy drugs. Do you know she has churettes? Don't have
to do with anything. I'm just saying that she is like that's something I
did not know about her. She must not have it super severe. No,
I mean, I don't know. That's just something I heard recently.
I was like, wow, that's pretty amazing to be just like that public
and have something. Her face is just like very gaunt and like kind of
she looks a little sickly to me. It's fine. Okay, Okay,
my fourth worst dress. And I hate to say this because she is always
on my best dress list and I love love lover. She normally can do
no wrong. The face is everything the dress. First of all, I
hate polka dots. Okay, this did me in the minute she stepped out
it Jennifer Lawrence. I couldn't with this. And I don't know if it's
Carolina herre area. I can't remember who it was. It's just so dowdy,
Like, I don't it's got. I don't like the stupid cape or
whatever that stupid thing is. Her face is amazing. Her face is incredible,
and I think she's such a good I just yeah, this isn't I
mean, it's differentyone just saw her naked this year on TV. Yeah,
and she's so young that this was just very I don't know true, yes,
yeah, too old for her. Okay, now here's the thing.
I love her. I love this actress. I loved everything about the look
except for two things. I didn't like the hair. It looked like some
bee's nest on top of her head. And here's the other thing. Even
as a gay man, I know where a woman's vagina is. You don't
need to put like a map on where the badge is. I love Emily
Blunt. She usually gorgeous, is beautiful, funny. Her hair was awful.
The hair was terrible. Read that that is not that bad, actually
kind of actually really pretty. She liked her dress, her hair was I
remember they did a close up of her sday next to John and you could
see like all the flyaways on her Oh no that yeah, I was like,
job. I was like her gay should have whipped that up into shape.
This thing. I was like, come on, I don't need you
to put an arrow on where your lips are back passes. I don't think
it's not that bad. It's not actually actually it's not amazing. I don't
mind it. It looks like her. She told her kid, hey,
just do it design on mommy's dress wherever you want, and the kid was
like, I'll just show everybody where mommy's vagina is. It was awful.
I think it's supposed to be like a medieval like, kind of a Victorian
like medieval. I was even I was even kind of okay with these weird
straps that came up over the shoulders where there was room in between where you
could like pick her up and throw her and maybe that's what people were doing,
and that's where her hair got out of place. Caine. Okay,
now the selfie. Remember this iconic selfie. This was ten years ago.
Wow, Okay, before it Helm Degenerous got canceled. Well, listen to
this. The New York Post is asking is this photo cursed? Because here's
the evidence. This is the list of the carnage. Ellen called out in
twenty twenty article for a toxic work environment on her show. The allegations only
grew from there. She ended the show in twenty twenty two. Kevin Spacey,
where do we even start? He was fired from House of Cards in
twenty seventeen due to sexual assault allegations. He's still never been convicted of anything,
but his career has never recovered. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie filed for
divorce in twenty sixteen, and boy did it get ugly. In fact,
it's still very very ugly. Meryl Streep. Last year, it was revealed
that she and her husband separated her husband Don Gummer in twenty seventeen after forty
years together. That's normal in Hollywood, though, Bradley Cooper, as Meryl
Streep would say in The Devil Ware's Prana, that's all You're not going to
Paris. Here's Bradley Cooper. Now listen to this. He was nominated for
an Oscar that night. He didn't win. He's lost seven more oscars since.
He also lost one in twenty thirteen. He didn't win any for Maestro
last night, so he is oh for twelve, oh for eleven since that,
since this picture has been taken. Leonardo DiCaprio, though, you just
gotta keep trying. Eventually you will get one. Jared Leto He actually won
an Oscar that year for Dallas Buyer's Club, but since then he played the
most universally hated joker in Suicide Squad. That's what they say. And Moru,
what's going on? Julia Roberts in What Where's She Been what's been happening?
Would you? I was in that awful next Flix movie that I hated
so oh with Coming. Is it the one where they were like married?
No? That No, it's that that movie that was made for Netflix,
The End of the World or whatever. Oh, end of the fucking World
or something. Yes. Oh, and then there's this person in the selfie
right here, the one that started the demise of all the celebrities. That's
me and what is my life? Vincents twenty seventy You getting fired was the
worst thing to ever happen to all of them. It's happened in twenty fourteen.
I got blown out in twenty seventeen. This happened. That happened.
This happened, that happened. This happened, that happened, This happened,
that happened. Anyway, So do you believe in curses? Do you believe
that this is a cursed picture with all that evidence? No? Okay,
you know what. I only have one thing to say to you. What
get away from me? Can you sit over there? No, you're stuck
with me. He wants to go to the oscar some days. Yes,
Why I'm rubbing you, I'm rubbing all over. Listen, all my juju,
great, all my curse great BUQ. Actually you know why it's probably
cursed because Jared Leto's in that photo and that man looks like if anyone in
that photo was like a devil worship or something, it would definitely he looks
like he could be it. And that man is in his fifties and he
looks like he could be in his No, he's not google it right now.
No, there's no frigging Jared. Jared Letto is in his fifties.
That's what I'm saying. I mean, I thought Tom Cruise looked good for
his age. Who's what now, sixty one? Sixty? Jared Cruise is
sixty yeah? Wow. Jared Letto literally looks like he's like thirty three.
He's always fifty two. Yeah, he's fifty two. What Tom Cruise I
think is sixty? Wow? Okay, Tom Cruise is sixty one? My
god. Yeah, it's just and again let's bring this up. The Golden
Girls, the TV show. Those ladies were in their fifties, I know,
and they're like white hair and that like that hair do the Grammar hairdoo?
Yep. Yeah, And Jared Letto stopped aging at like twenty one,
So gosh, do you know who he was the youngest of all the Golden
Girls, Stelle Getty, who played Sofia, the really old one them all.
Right. Now, moving on to my New York trip. That's why
we didn't have a show last week. We didn't have any shows because we
I left on a Sunday and I came back on a Thursday, which was
my seventeen year sober birthday. Happy birthday, Thank you, thank you,
thank you. It was really kind of fun being in New York and San
Diego for both, uh, you know, because I landed in San Diego
that day. But anyway, I went to Evan's show, and I just
have to I went every night she was. There was four performances. I
went to three of the performances because one of them was too late at night.
And I just have to say. I know, I'm her mom,
so I'm super duper biased. I realize this, but she I have no
words for how much she has grown as an actress in a year. It
is outstanding. Like she I couldn't. I didn't. When she walked out
on stage, it was a little bit dark, and she was from it
was from behind. I'm like, well, that's not Evan. She doesn't
stand like that, she doesn't move like that. The lights went on,
she turns around. It's Evan. That's what they they that's what she's learning,
like how to the nuances of acting, and it's so much shows and
oh my god, I was so proud of her. And this girl comes
up to me after the show is one of her classmates, I guess,
and said, are you Evan's mom? And I said yes, and she
said, I just want to tell you that Evan is the nicest, kindest,
most authentic, wonderful person. She started crying. And she has made
my time here at Fordham so wonderful. And I can't thank you enough for
a birthday her and like all this stuff. I was like, Okay,
that is the greatest thing a parent could ever hear. So thank you for
coming up and telling me that. Did you have to book your head for
a different flight, like a private flight because it was so big? No,
wait, I'm getting to the flight. I'm getting to the flight brutal.
I'm just telling you, Evan, just I'm just so proud. I
know I'm biased, I know I'm biased, but come on, I saw
a video. Didn't think, are you talking about Laura's video? I wasn't
allowed to video the performance, so I didn't know I was forbidden. Evan
said, Mom, I'm not even kidding this time. Please don't, because
I always do it secretly and I'm never supposed to every single one I've done.
But this time she said, Mom, I'm dead serious, Please don't.
And so I abided by her rules and I didn't film it even though
I wanted to. Okay, So I went with my friend I'm going to
call her Meg, and she has a kind of a busted ankle because something
fell on her ankle a while ago, and she has a hard time walking.
So we got her a wheelchair to take her because LaGuardia is huge and
it takes forever to get from one i to the other side. And it
was cool because we were able to board first and everything, and it was
good for her so she didn't have to walk. Well, I was the
one pushing the wheelchair. I must say, your forearms are massive. No,
this is funny. At the ant the way back, we were sitting
in one of the terminal and we're in the wrong terminal. I'm like,
oh crap, this is going to Cankon. We're not going to CanCon.
We're going to San Diego. So let's get you know, I piled stuff
on top of her. I'm like, all right, let's go. So
I start pushing the chair and it is so hard to push, and I'm
like, oh my god, which stuff did you pile on your lap?
I go, my legs are burning. I don't think I'm gonna make it
to Gate forty. I'm pushing so hard and I'm going, and we're going,
and my legs are burning. I'm like, what is going on?
This guy comes running over before the seat. He goes, you might want
to release the break. Yeah. I was like, you've got to be
kidding me. Oh my god. We get so luckily we got to board
first. Yeah. I have one thing to interject here. I have a
lipstick on my teeth. No, what at least you're getting practice because you'll
be able to do that for me and remember oh those so on that same
flight the way home, we first to boards. We picked the second row
because you can put yourself under, so it's just me, it's her and
then me, and then the flight attendant comes over and she goes, we
have an unattended minor. Do you mind if he sits next to you by
the window. I'm like, no problem, it's not a problem at all.
This little boy comes home five years old Lorenzo for three and a half
hours, does not stop talking to me, asking me questions, wanting me
to play video games with them, and doing this. Wait, wait,
hold on, hold on, hold on. I was like, ohm,
like, oh my god, go to you know what would be so great?
You know what's so fun when you take a nap and you wake up,
you're gonna be home. It's gonna be awesome. He orders a coke,
of course for his little drink and she gives it to him, or
you a vodcast, you goes. The only thing that would have been better,
The only thing is if he would have gotten sick in the air.
Oh. I was very much thinking about that. I'm like, oh,
here's a kid. He probably just had too much to eat or too much
candy, and he's gonna puke on me. Yeah, not on the bag
on me. He was the cutest little kid though, But oh my god,
is that flight felt like seven hours? I bet who sends a five
year old to fly by himself? Though? That's crazy? But this kid
I'm got I gotta tell you, was like ten in his mannerisms. And
well, when you have parents that are not together and one lives in Houston
and one lives in San Diego, I mean, what are you gonna do?
I mean, it's kind of tough themself. Well, he has this
little thing and they have their I mean, they're they're very good about pepper
a gun tu be Oh the little like a lanyard thing that he has to
wear. Whatever. I know, five years old, I know, I
know. Just wait till we go to New York. Now I've now,
I've got an idea of what I'm going. Okay, but we had an
absolute blast. If you ever go to New York and stay at the Sheridan
Times Square, it's close to everything, It's walking distance to everything. It's
right there in Times Square, which is like electric. I know it's very
touristy and like, oh my god, Time Square, but wow, the
minute you go down there at night, like it doesn't matter what time it
is, it doesn't matter how tired you are when you're there, it's just
like, Wow, this is the center of the world. It's really cool.
So we had a great time and somehow. Oh, I know how.
We go into an Ordstrom, the flagship store of New York City,
and this guy where we were looking for lipstick for her. This guy comes
over and he goes, are you I know who you are? You're you're
famous. I was wearing a ball cap, a big jacket and sunglasses and
my hair looked like this. I'm like, oh, you're that's nice,
thank you, but no, you know, and he's like, no,
no, no, you're this is how you got me. Okay. Half
hour later, I bought not one, but two fifty dollars Prada lipsticks.
I have not missed to spending one hundred dollars on two lipsticks. Wait what
hold? I'm so confused because he flattered me so much and talked to me
and like magically like hypnotized me. I'm sorry, a salesman, miss pretended
that you were famous, and so you spend one hundred bucks on lipstick?
It worked? You should have said, what bitch? Whatever he did?
Like I got, I was flattered. I don't know he was a good
salesperson. Oh this lipstick is the best thing ever? Am I wearing it
tonight? No, that dude's laughing at you. You're a schmuck. Fifty
dollars. I didn't need to be spending fifty dollars on one lipstick. I've
got a dinner I would like to invite you to. Oh, you are
so stunned for schmuck. I mean I am a schmuck. I'm a total
schmuck. Anyway, I got something you might be interested in, though you
look like bo Derek. It's a grand piano. It's only five grand.
All the famous people have him. And since you're a famous person, you
have to have one. Wait, who wanted one? Are you being serious
right now? Are you interested? Not for five grand? Well? Do
you know anybody's selling a piano that can ship it to Oregon? Now somebody
I know an Oregon wants a piano for five Maybe? No? Anyway,
Yeah, I know, right, But I just want to say it was
really, really great seeing Evan, and I'm not going to see her again
for I don't know she's She claims she's not coming home this summer because you
know why her boyfriend. Yes, I'm sure that's and he is. I
met him. He is a doll. I approve he treats her like a
queen. He looks at her like she is like everything in the world to
him. It was just really special, like I look at you. Not
quite anyway, it was an awesome trip and and I just thank you Meg
for everything you did to make it happen. And she's a doll. She's
the best We had. We laughed our asses off. Oh I bet,
oh my god, did we get into some wacky situations. But anyway,
all right, coming up on Thursday shows. Oh wait a minute, I
have something for you, a present or something to say to me. I
have something to tell you that I just forgot. Is it going to upset
me? Or is it happy? It's probably it made me very happy.
What So on Friday, I was a Thursday, I wasn't super super hungry,
so I think I had a salad for dinner. So Friday I was
running here and said, I was like, I'm starving, And it was
about eleven thirty in the morning, and I thought, if I don't need
something soon, I'm gonna get angry. Huh. So there's a place in
Mission Valley, there's several in San Diego. It's called Keidoba. Yes,
I've heard of it. They Yeah, they have really good food. They
do healthy Mexican food. Well, they have the and since you eat there,
you'll know they have on their sign that you know, for an extra
two ninety five or something, you can upgrade your meal and get the tortilla
chips that are delicious, by the way, and their caeso and they have
a spicy caso in a regular caeso, and then you can get a drink.
So I've been going there since it opened, and I get the same
thing every time because I don't eat meat. Karen story, I'm waiting for
you to get something. So the casa wasn't spicy enough, so I sent
a letter to the Well, you've got part of it right. Oh yeah,
So I've ordered the same thing every time I go in. I order
a bean and cheese burrito with a little dalp of caeso on it, and
then I upgrade my meal and I get the tortilla chips, the caeso,
and a drink. Okay, never ever, ever have I had a problem
until Friday, and possibly could have happened to make him and I want to
talk about it. Let me tell you. So I get up to the
register everybody else and they're very nice in there. Get up to the register
and the woman goes anything else and I go, uh, yeah, I'd
like to upgrade my meal. No, and I'm like, I'm sorry what
and she goes, we don't do that, and I said, I'm sorry.
I come in here all the time and I I've never had a problem.
I just want to upgrade it. No, and I said I don't
understand, and she goes, you have to order protein with it, not
just a burrito of being a geez burriedo. And I go, that doesn't
make any sense. The sign says what difference does it make? And she
goes, we don't do that, and I said since when? And I
go, they do it every single time for me, and she goes like
she literally looks at me and goes, ugh, rolls her eyes, types
it in the machine and then she goes, I'm never doing this again for
you. And I I'm like, Jesus, what you know. So I'm
completely like what I said, I don't understand. Where on your sign does
it say that. She goes, oh, it says it, and I
said, okay, where because I'm reading it right now and it does not
say that. So she's like, well, I'm never doing it again.
And I said Okay, then I guess I'm never coming here again. And
so she oh, no, I bet she was so hurt when she could
have cared. She could probably would have let me on fire and not cared.
So she literally throw slides the bag across the counter at me and stands
there and looks at me and Mama, can I get my drink? So
she literally goes she goes never again. So I turn around and there was
a couple of people in there and they're looking at me like, just what
did you do? So I get my drink and I'm all, you might
want to change your sign, and she goes, oh we are, we
are? So I, oh god, here we go, now here we
go? Here, here we go. As I'm walking out, I'm all,
and what's your name? And she turned around. One wouldn't tell me,
so I call the corporate office. Oh god, eg And she was
probably being shitty to you because you're kind of shitty. No, I was.
You're a little shitty, you know, but you always you know.
I actually like, I'm sorry, we don't do that that protein and he's
like, you are no, it's so rude. Did you just say you
just say that? I did? With God? Is my witness on a
stack of bibles. I did not because I didn't understand what was happening.
I was just like, you do have a kind of a bitch face,
not meaning to, but you do. I was, I was being super
super nice, and I don't. I'm just wondering, because it always happens
here if you invite it a little bit. I asked them to pull the
security camera. I'm sure to see so I want no. I did not,
So I call the corporate office and it gives you two. It gives
you an email address that did not go to anywhere. It bounced back because
they forgot to add the AD symbol. You didn't know to add the ad
well, I know they said it was it was whatever dot whatever dot com
and I'm like, Kindova corporate office. Yeah. So then it says like,
if you want to be removed from our mailing list, press one,
blah blah blah, press two for customers or three for customer service. So
I pushed three. It goes to a voicemail that is completely full and you
can't leave a message, so it hangs up on you. So I call
the store and the girl picks up, and I'm all Hi, Dode,
what's your number for corporate? And she goes look it up online? Click,
So now it is. So I figured it out. I go online
and I I it says, if he's really obsessed, you've probably spent like
two hours on social media. Now the hamster wheel was spinning and I couldn't
get off. I was like, oh no, this is going to be
made right, like you know. So I fill out like this little comment
thing and I send it in. Well, I didn't feel like that was
good enough because the number didn't go anywhere, the email didn't go anywhere.
So I decided to put the AT symbol into the email and I copied and
pasted it. I had a response back within like an hour, and they're
like, uh, we're sending the district manager down there, and what's your
your q Doba account and we'll upload it with a bunch of you Wow.
So squeaky wheel, there you go. Yes, squeaky wheel, get shut
the fuck up. Why so a he has a Cadoba accounts? Yes,
that's pretty common, okay, And do you know how much you put in
there? I think fifty bucks all right, just for your blood boiling.
And I wonder if she got reprimanded or if you got her fired, well,
well whatever, you don't know. I don't know. We don't hope
anybody gets fired. But that that she's kind of being a ship d She
wished she was being a bitch. According to Eric story, Yeah, she
was being a bitch. They are to know if you had have been there,
you would have agreed with me. I bet I would have. I'm
wondering if you enter it kind of a state of like rage to do psychosis
where everything is slightly different. No, because I don't do that anymore.
I used to think he did. He used to be a lot or not
a lot, and she put a gun and she shot at me. I
would have been I would have jumped over that Oh, I would have jumped
over that counter and he there would have been fisticuffs first, like police probably
would have been called. Yeah, or there would have been video cameras out
videoing you. Or I'm very polite and I'm very very nice to wait staff.
I always tip, well you do, yeah, so I and I
didn't you tend to have a tone when you ask a question sometimes Well I'm
just saying no, not not this time. I didn't because I just so
I was so completely Maybe she confused your confusion for like, wait no,
because I was just like what, like I didn't get And then of course
the sweet little girl that made my food kind of looked at me and kind
of looked at her, and I said, don't you do that? And
secretly when no, I already have my food. Oh you already had it.
Yeah, Oh my god, oh my god. I love I don't
know what the thing. I love Eric calling corporate businesses, business, corporate
headquarters all day long. I could hear these stories and let me just say
that it's done. Let me just tell you one more thing. It wasn't
the first time this week that I had to call the corporate Jesus. Okay,
so you must be part of the problem, is all I'm saying.
No, I'm part of the solution because I look all the people out there
that don't like he may be helping others. I had to call Uber the
other day. Begause, I got I went and saw the Michael Jackson musical.
Okay, wait no, he called Uber because what happened? I called
an uber? Huh? And he showed up and I said, I'm on
my way out, and he canceled the ride. Well they do that sometimes,
yeah, but then he charged me for it. Oh's And I was
like, no, no, I think you're supposed to be there when they
pull up. No, you can. I was texting the guy because he
said he preferred to be text and it said he was coming in two minutes,
and then within like fifty seconds he was there. Okay, And so
I was like, oh, I'm on my way down, and so in
a nutshell, did you and did you get anything? I did? Did
you get your money back or anything else? No? Just got my money
back, okay, all right? Twice? Oh no, no, no,
no, there was a third time. Seriously, who else can there
possibly be? The log We're a little bit ready this week? No,
I was on there's no one this week. You know, I know where
every cent of my money is. Eric does know where that some times I've
called a corporate number in my past lifetime zero and you've called it three times
this week? Oh my god. It's endless than what he's done over the
since I've known him, saying and percent of the time the outcome is good.
Well yeah, because it takes a minute sometimes. As someone who has
dealt with those types of customers. Even if they are I'm stand the wrong.
They always have a good outcome, so they come back and give us
more money. So I would I would never do it if I knew that
I was slightly in the wrong. Okay, that's what they all say.
No is the third one worth mentioning? Was there a solution? Yes,
in your favor? You know what company just did? It? Was?
It was an It was an online company that I ordered something from and part
of the order went to my current address. Part of the order went to
my old address, and USPS did not forward it even though so you called
USPS, the United States Postal Service, you called the boss, you called
Joe Biden the boss, And how did you just change? Did they give
you anything? Huh? Did they give you anything? What? Free mail?
I don't know what do they do? What did they just say?
Okay, sorry? No, I got refunded for the package. Oh,
because that nobody could figure out where it was. And I was like,
well where my old address? They don't have it. So they refunded you
what you bought, the amount for what I paid. I love Eric,
I love you, this makes you you? This is like so perfect.
Three times in one week, three times. Big corporations say that's a record
record. But hey, you're you're three for three. You'll be it next
week. I am, oh, yeah, you will call for four next
week? Okay, speaking well, not next week, but speaking of well,
we weren't even speaking of but our next episode on Thursday. Okay,
you know the neighborhood app Yes, okay, each one of us here on
the show, Me, Eric, producer, Brian, we each live in
very different neighborhoods, yes, and so I thought it would be funny if
we did the Not So Neighborly Neighborhood News and read a couple of the posts
on like where Brian lives, where you live, and where I live,
and see how different it is the not so neighborly neighborhood News. Come on,
by the way, what I found right before I came here today.
I just happen to get a notification and it is a good one. Oh,
a new one. Yeah, so I'm going to read it. Oh
my gosh, I can't wait to hear Brian's I know, because I know,
well, like it's just because it's going to be so different than not
as far out there as you think. It's not all cows. There's actually
no cows. Well, there's maybe a couple of horses. But I'm thinking
there's not like a lot of things that happen in my neighborhood that go on
in your neighborhood. This is what I'm saying. We'll see, we'll see,
we'll see. So we're going to have the nots of neighborly news,
and I'm going to tell you all about a fantastic new product that I just
okay, love it. Well, that's it. Thank you guys so much
for joining us live live, and thank you for listening after the fact on
all platforms. Why are you leaning away from me? No, this is
comfortable. I'm comfortable. It looks like, actually think you're trying to get
away from me. Do you know why I'm doing that because my microphone is
right here. Anyway, love you, and thank you guys for come listening
and everything. And I'm glad to see both of you so much. I
missed you both a lot. I did. And with that, thank you,
Oh God, love your podcast. I love you and I've missed you
so much. I thank you, thank you, and you look very beautiful.
Thank you. If you might want to talk to you you look very
beautiful. Thank you, Oh my god. Love your podcast. Good Greece.
I love you, my sweet babes. Bye bye, guys, Bye bye.