Hey, everybody. I'm Emily Kaplan. I write under the name E M.
Kaplan. I write Josie Tucker mysteries and some Shingles books and some fantasy.
And I am playing Claudia the Rogue tonight. I'm Judy Black and I
write Dungeons and Dragons, modules and other stuff. I have a series out
from full Staff, Side Shows and Shadows. Yes, that's it. You
can find my stuff on DMS, gilled or wherever you buy books. Hey,
y'all, I'm Misty Massey and I play Malibu, the ever cheerful,
sun drenched cleric who just wants a party wherever she goes and a chance to
make silas can pay for his naughty behaviors in real life. Find the author
of the Madchestral series of pirate fantasy adventures, and I edit for Falstaff,
Lord Seekers and Mocham Memoirs. You can find me on my site Misty Massey
dot com and on Facebook, Twitter and TikTok and Mastodon. I'm on massadon
now and I was on Hive, but I think Hive has died, so
don't look for me there. Hi. I'm Teresa Glover. I'm the author
of the Caitlin Kelly Monster Hunter series at Falstaff Books and also an editor at
Falstaff Books. In the game, I am obviously Elatas Moonbrook, and I
will have to rule perception to see whether or not you're worthy of my notice.
But you know, don't take it personally or anything if I don't,
and that just leaves me. R. E. Carr, the Admiral of
this asshole Armada, mother of cats who may show up at any time during
this podcast because they have learned to open my office door when I am not
herding cats. Both in the game and in my own home. I am
the author of the Rule on Dying series and the False Icon series with none
other than Silas Kane himself qual Terry, and my latest book, The Accidental
Summonar, can be found available from Falstaff Books. So fair warning given.
At any moment, a random feline may attack the party. If a one
of my actual cats jumps on screen, you will be attacked by an actual
feline. Just be warned. This is what happens when the dam gets a
kitten. But other than that, everything's fine, right guys, you finally
opened the door. They opened the door. Everyone, They got all three
targets hit and they have opened the door, which I would totally use a
Zelda theme for if I didn't think we get demonetized. Just imagine it in
your head's everybody, they have opened a door and a lot of chaos is
happening. They have managed to make a paladin summon the spirit of the designated
driver, as well as summoning a very very Scottish zombie skeleton thing by the
name of Crewton. I love Creton like Crispy Friends on there that my fredsies
nutshell? All right, so everybody, we are on Ella minitosses turn who
is still stuck in the body of an eight year old. Before y'all start,
I would just like it known that a little sparkling portal appears next to
Mini Elatas and another piece of paper falls to your feet. What do you
do well? I believe I had thrown myself on the ground and was having
a hissy fit of a tantrum. Yes, and now a piece of paper
has fallen in front of you. Okay, so I will stop having the
hissy fit tantrum just long enough to grab the piece of paper and see if
I can read it. And this is like the eye of the storm in
the epic Tantrum, it is a note from the prosecution saying that Polly Darton
has been detained because the entire Gnomish bikini team has sued Fandango the Fantastical for
a joint paternity and lost wages suit nice so she has still been delayed.
They predict that since they have what they only could describe as the world's oldest
slowest turtle man reading out the proceedings, it might be a while. Okay,
what do you do now? So have I noticed that the door has
opened and that there's a little sparkway portal or anything like that. Well,
I think you should roll perception, because that's what you do best. Yes,
it is generally what I do best. Holy Acas, I noticed something
rock and roll you absolutely do in the moment of calm as all of your
excess like energy has actually been expended in the first half of your tantrum.
It's allowed you to have brilliant focus and calm as while you look up from
the paper, it gives you a perfect view of the door or off the
side to have opened. After Claudia made a glorious shot to the target that
Cruton was holding Okay, So I will get up and um dust myself off
as if nothing has happened, because obviously nothing has, and I will make
my way over to the door. It will take more than one turn,
as you have very short legs. I actually do have really short legs,
so you know. Yeah, but kids can run like like crazy pants.
Have you ever seen a kid run? Yeah, it's very fast, just
not very far yet. Okay, okay, so how far can I get
your normal movement minus one square? Okay, so that puts me over by
twenty five feet. I do believe, yes, we is. You'll anything
else in your turn, little tiny French la minitas. That's right, so
exactly, but I wish That's why I was reminding you. Remember very gently.
I have all my little French works that I can use. Um No,
I'm not gonna do anything else. I'm just gonna pretend that nothing has
happened and everything is fine. Alrighty, then the flinch one, go ahead
and end your tournament, and that will bring up Claudia barely power. You
are in the arms of a very shiny paladin with a very nice, hiny
boat, who has Sheba ears on his head, and you have read handed
ears on yours. That's right, true to form. She actually she didn't
remember what she was doing before. Um, rather than like me, but
you were dancing. You then shot a target and opened a door. Do
I do I know this guy's name? He is Bud the Light Ah right,
oh yeah, Paladin of the Great and Mighty Brew. Um. Let's
see, she can't decide whether or not this is the right time in her
life to start a relationship. She was just you know, feeling comfortable in
herself and her single hood and her adulthood, you know, feeling her personhood.
So um, let's see she should She's going to ask him one question
to see if he merits a place in her future. And that question inunch
worthy. Hold on, let's the same. You're staring at you with slightly
inebriated, wobbling eyes through a lot of armor, and she bow ears point.
Oh yeah, well the ears are very attractive and the tale. Don't
forget he does absolutely curling out of the shiny hiney. Who could forget that
for a very time. She's going She's going to ask him paper or plastic.
It depends on the purpose. One cannot decide such things without knowing context.
All right, she's gonna dump him that the answer was not satisfactory.
Um, listen, mister light or the light. Um, it's been real,
it's been yes, it has been real. Every time I see her
adorable ears, I am filled with joy, the likes of which I have
not felt into since my last IPA. That's the wool that that doubly solidified
it. Um, So she's gonna she's gonna high tail it out of there
toward the door. Um, how are you going to escape? You have
to disengage, disengage your tango. Okay, what do I need to do
or what does she need to do? Well, you are a rogue.
You could technically dash. There was a free action, which I hate.
Um, which means you could just use that to escape and go away.
You just have to declare that and you couldn't do anything else. Okay,
Yeah, she's gonna dash dash off. Maybe she'll leave a shoe behind.
Are you going to leave a shoe behind? Yeah, she'll leave a shoe
behind. Which which layer of shoe? Right, I'm pretty sure she is.
She probably has a boot on one foot because the boots are cool,
but the other one I'm assuming it's like a waitress ballet flat kind of thing.
Okay, so you leave the flat of that flat yeh, take off?
Yeah, just make a simple deck save and don't go below a five.
Okay, into the arms of a paladin. You do not fall into
the That's probably for the best. Yeah, you have successfully used your rogue
skills to escape a tango. Which direction are you heading for your regular movement?
She'd like to head towards Malibu, so I'm guessing, be right,
she'll She'll be right here near the little can. I have a percept to
me as you run, as she's running towards Ella or Mini Ella. Perception
is a ten. Yeah, you were focused on escaping the tango. Okay,
you stole my percent. Gig anything else you would like to do this
round? No, you can do oh gigi. A child near me and
I do not like this. So I am going to go towards Malibu.
No escape the wild children. No, are you going to use regular movement
or are you going to touch and use double movement? I am going to
use a double movement and GTF. Oh it's all you can do that round,
because that's not a rogue and that is not a bonus that's fine.
I'm gonna yell at Cruton, though, be like, come on this way,
boy, I don't as you do. I control your fake life.
Get over here, but the warner, there's bit over here, Lassie,
Well then I will kill you again. Those are those I am not a
nice person. I'm not a nice person. For the last person you dead.
I've known you for thirty seconds and I have hated all of them.
Hurtful, lassie. I'm gonna sit here and drink my beer, unless you
mayf worth my while tohead over there. And no, I don't boggain with
idiots. But why do you having around these people, Lassie. I'm not
boggaining with zim. I am associating with them. It is different word dumb
ass, dumas you called me and dumbers. You're the one who raised the
dead. I'm gonna have my beer. You see what happens when we let
her go to England. You enjoy that it will be the last thing you
do. It will be the last thing you ever do. Good Bye.
I would not remember you fondly. Oh it's just hopeful, thank you.
He just waves the sacred I hope you're dyeing another fire bla not the beverage.
Yes, but the fires are still happening, so just go wander into
and okay, being certainly make a will uh check not a safe to see
if you can overpower your salty cruton. Salty okay, I like Caesar crutons.
No, that's it. He takes command of an army of the dead.
He will be a Caesar Cruton. That should happen. Okay, it
just rolled like a million times because not a not a safe but check.
Sorry, it's clinging and nothing was happening, and then it all happened all
at once. You were just so zellous. I mean, yeah, I
know is disobeying you for this turn. That's fine. He will die again,
he'd like to do. No, I'm going to spin the rest of
my turn making obscene gestures. Okay, not yourself obscene. Just are we
talking like it's you start in his general direction. I mean, you know,
I am a lady and he has to pay. He has to pay
for that privilege. Second, I started to okay, there's no tea in
my nostrils, all right, would you mind hitting into turn so that they
move on from this tragedy. Malabou is actually open. If you have met
you have previously fired a bolt and saved the sharonee because we don't want to
be sued. Um, priestesses who are currently doggy paddling up onto a statue
thanks to you and your zoom and enhanced bubble which still surrounds you. I
forgot about I'm still in the bubble. Um. Do I see my friends
coming to join me? I mean you do have a zoom and enhanced bubble.
Gigi is very close and that's quite large. Okay, they run fast
and see if you can burst my bubble by running into me. That I
didn't know or most people don't want their bubble burst. I know, just
just know her hugely. I think I'm bursting her. Sorry, my my
my character sheet decided to close itself, So here we go. Yeah,
a spicy to night, it is. It is. It's having a little
bit of a two. It's a wee bit spicy. But um uh but
yeah, I'm um, I'm gonna go bouncing toward my friends to get to
make sure that they know it comes into it. Yeah, just because the
priestess has got it under control for the moment. So we'll move your tune
then okay, actually, gee, she's already there, aren't you. Yes,
yes, that's what it is. That's why she's okay, sorry,
right, I misunderstood. Okay, well then I don't then end up go
running off. I just I'm bouncing and going. Come on, come on,
y'all, we have to help the priestesses. There is a bouncing baby
priestess. Just boun City, Bouncity, bounc City, Bouncity. Even Ella
could notice this. Wait, I noticed anything else? You want to say?
Not right now? I'm good? Am I still drunk? Yes?
Okay, that explains the bouncing you've been. You're you're like, you know,
when you're like really drunk, and your friends on your twenty first birthday
take you to see Saving Private Ryan and make you watch the beginning of that,
so like you're still intoxicated but also stone cold sober simultaneously from the shit
you've seen. I don't think those people are your friends. No, were
my best friends, and I can this is a very personal story. No,
honey, honey, they're not your friends, and Private Private Ryan was
years away when I was twenty one, so but yes, that's the sort
of thing like you have. You can feel the gravitas through a lens of
inebriation. Okay, all right then I then I am I am bouncing,
but I'm not bouncing um cheerfully. I'm bouncing urgently. Come on, come
on like Pepe bouncing like come on, come on co co co. Yes,
sort of yeah, kind of like that, but definitely not cheerful,
so very serious, definitely not not cheerful. Yes, like buncing. I
am bouncing like a grown up. That is so going on the live tweet
anything else. Alrighty then I feel in your turn. Let's get back to
Ella. Yeah, mini tosss um. Ellis just gonna try to There's a
Claudia now next to you. Hi. Hi uh yeah, I think what
did you say? Hi? I mean that didn't sound refredge. Well,
she did not feel formal enough to say hello. She said hi Hello,
Okay, hallo, I will accept it. Okay, let's see the accident
police are still in. Yes, yes, I think my movement. Oh,
I gotta measure a stupid thing again. Hold on it, I forgot
where I was twenty five fee yeah, I know, well I had,
I had done the measurement thing, and then I forgot which square it was
so I couldn't remember where I was going, but I do now. Okay,
it's so yeah, I'm gonna do my movement and I'll end up over
here, and I'm just going to again keep pretending that nothing has happened,
nothing is wrong, and just head towards the door, just being a little
snot okay, claud Yeah, apparently there is a paladin weeping and looking after
you and holding a shoe. Bunny, you won't be the last one.
Okay, how many shoes do you have enough? Or she's gonna she's gonna
stop shuffle, you know, off off balance um over to her friends.
Uh, just because she feels like she can feel the momentum of everybody leaving,
so she's gonna be um with them. Can you hear? Can you
and Ella both make a perception? Chat coal quick? Okay you'll be a
disadvantage, Claudia, because you've already missed it. Okay, disadvantage that's a
nine, right, Yeah, nothing to see here? Just sokay, second
here us both of you. Nothing to see here? Yep, nothing to
see here. Nothing's gone wrong, nothing's happened. We're just doing our no
right. Okay, you can see the door clearly. Now there is a
door. It's open. There is a door. Gigi, you have a
surly cruton. I do not call am. I will walk SZ. Are
you the door is open? Are you doing anything like investigating the door,
checking well, waiting for the rogue, anything like that? Am walking through
the door. I will cast my maid hand and send it through the door.
Oh, it goes through the bubble, It's really cool, goes right
through. You get buzzed by a random hand, Malibu, Your hand goes
goes through the door. Was that was anti climatic? Um? Okay,
someone who is better, didn't kit go ahead of me? Because I am
delicate. I will wait now that I'm good. Can you make a perception
check as well. You're a disadvantage because you have no idea what's going on.
That's fair. Oh boy, I'm so perceptible. I'm taking the first
one of the three. That's perfect me. You hear some creaking, but
you don't think anything of it. Not my problem. I'm not going first.
Not your problem. Yeah, I'm a push button. Officially, No,
I'm a problem Malibu. Oh gods it me again? That was staff?
Okay, okay, Well everybody's here, Okay, so y'all, look
look out the door. Do you see those the priestesses are climbing up on
the statue? Um? Those those are my my people. Those are those
are my posse, and we gotta go help them. When everyone make a
perception role with a difficulty of twenty because they don't have a zoom and enhance
bubble, you have no idea what you're talking about. Um No, Gigi
does not know Claudiet. You kind of can squint and see something looks like
maybe some ants crawling a blue person Elatas that is beneath you. Obviously,
do I understand that that it's the bubble that is letting me see them so
well? Or am I still a little too intoxicated to make that connection?
Tell me, were you ever drunk and took taking astrophysics or photo? Yeah?
Sure, yeah, I'm a clare breaker. I didn't go to make
I couldn't tell. Just check on the seminary school. Maybe you have some
idea that maybe it's a it's far away, but you can see really well,
and everyone looks huge and has giant boobs, except for Elatas, who
looks smaller than you'd expect. Oh, They're further away, aren't they.
You guys can't see them like I can. Yeah, that's reasonable. I'm
sorry. Um, way out there, can you see the statues sticking up
out of the water. Um, if you can see the statue, there's
people climbing on it and they need help. Well, it's not water,
is it? It's beer? Sorry, sticking out of the beer? Or
is it water? Yeah, but well we don't know if it's American beer
or not. It is, okay, but it smells beer like there is
a There is so much aroma of beer in this garden. Nothing doesn't smell
beer except for your build. It has a faint fill of beer and strawberries.
I was gonna say, I smell strawberries inside my my lovely, lovely
bouncy ball. You smell strawberries. Everyone else smells booze. Okay, up,
I don't. I'm looking. There as a door, and there is
a door, but there's no boats sitting around. There are people climbing up
on a statue, not with a giant tidal wave of beer. They might
have been chained up. Just before the possibility of a dinghy being chained up,
there is still a tsunami of beer. I mean, I'm not going
to tell you what to do, but I'll just leave that out there.
I'm looking. Is there a dinghy? Yes, we do have it.
It's just like, just stop, just stop. I mean, there is
a dinghy the little box the beach, and there is a door to the
Cathedral of the People who summoned the Brunami that is now open next to you,
like five feet less, not even five feet it's literally next to you.
The door to the cathedral is right next to me. I thought it
was not the Cathedral of not not the not the Charon a cathedral. This
is the Holy Beer Garden that used to be one of the temples of Charon.
Ay. They're a little well, it's not really a cathedral, but
they say it's a cathedral so that they get kicked backs from the government taxing.
It's more like a midsized church. So but if we but if we
step out, we're stepping into the into the ocean of beer like liquid.
Right. Well, they're okay, So if you can birth of where you're
at out this way beyond this, this black wall is a little bit of
sand, dude. There's a beach and then there's a whole bunch of water,
and then there's a brunami on top of the water and it crashed in
and it knocked the statue down, and it's still heading towards everyone here,
but people have sort of forgotten that because they're very drunk. And there is
also the door opened to the cathedral because we call it a cathedral so that
we get our tax breaks of Charona that's here attached to the now beer garden
that used to be a meditation garden. We might want to go up then,
Yeah, let's let's go in the cathedral to the beach and not into
the cathedral. Now into the cathedral. That's yeah, go into the cathedral
and go up. It's it's dark in the door. You're gonna actually go
inside and see what's in there? Yeah? Sure? Do you all want
me to check it out before we go through? Yes, that sounds good,
But do you know how to do that? I think? Ella,
are you doing anything this turn? Or are you going to hold your action
until Claudia checks the now open door? H yeah, I'll hold my action
until we find out what's happening here. Okay, Claudia, you're gonna go
ahead and detect traps. Yeah, I should do that? Is that the
end of my turn? I don't know how to do that if you're not,
If you're yeah, i'm turn. Ella's going to go after Claudia.
So Claudia is checking the door, and then we'll resolve these two actions.
It just makes more sense to do it that way. Yeah, cool,
Yeah do you? I mean you also do all have water breathing, so
that might be why you don't care. There's a brun approach. Yeah,
we have beer breathing. We're good, way better than beer goggles, water
than your goggles and beer snorgle neared My beare flippers? Next, do you
want me to do investigation for a check for traps? Okay, Claudia rolls
at twenty three. You're absolutely sure that there are no drops. It's just
an open door. Oh right, Like all the mechanisms were magical rooney type
things that seem to be deactivated. Now that like the door has three glowing
lights and everything around the outside seems to have stopped glowing and the door opened.
Cool. Okay, So Claudia does notice that all her friends are speaking
random languages, so she's gonna say, vamos, you did you pick that
up from Merle in the at the spot dungeon probably probably a little shout out
spat dungeon. All right, you guys are actually gonna go in, right
anyone not going in? Can I go in? Does my bubble fit?
Very good question that I yeah, we can. Somebody, somebody come behind
me and just smush me through. It will take some shoving, definitely,
some some shoving. She'll be a door shaped bubble. M h yeah,
yeah. Where is This is totally about the dam stalling and going uh please
hold there. Totally didn't lose it for a second. I don't know what
you're talking about. Uh, oh my god, more than one location?
Oh my god? Wow, the load I can you'll see them up yet?
Yes, yes, this is This is great because the DM can't can't
see the map yet, so just just use your imaginations. Imagination, imagination.
I want to go in the room with the big ketchup pill. Yes,
this is hilarious because right now all the mcs a beer. That's the
most important thing in the sungeon. Tell me how beautiful this map is?
While I wait for it? It is? Where did it come from?
It's gold jills. I love it. I can now see it. I
can see it in. I love the parquet flooring in the in the entryway.
Oh, this is the excitement of life. Unedited. L dropped off
the florence too beautiful. It took her out, or maybe it's at up.
No, they went trap. Do we miss them? The god the
god killer trap? You missed the trap? And now the DM against us.
We're never supposed to go to a new map. Our humorist took us
down. They yes, because I kind of want to. I mean,
I like that it smells like strawberries, but I really do want to get
out eventually. Well, I mean we could we could roll Malibu back and
forth like she's a hamster ball. That's that's how well I pushed the bubble
for a new question. Cool. We could put a handle on top of
the bubble and just let me ride it like one of those bounties from the
eight Yeah, exactly, Okay, I have I have, I have chill
touch. So what if we freeze the bubble and then roll her at people?
It would be like the dessert in a fancy restaurant that you just cracked
the shell. Yeah, and there's a Malibu truffle inside. Yeah. Just
freeze the bubble and roll her ahead at people. Rachel. Rachel says,
everything just crashed. It's probably gonna be a second Okay, weird, weird,
nailed. I was just thinking, you know, the guys in the
main game are ending their show, I mean, ending the main game,
and I was like, oh, what if what if this was Rachel's like,
she's gonna totally wipe us out in this new match. Little did we
know it was the reverse You reverse recorded us all she shook herself out by
more humane ending. If I could just kill killed Cruton, I can't just
kill Cruton. I'd have to physically do it. Not if you if you
hit Cruton, would he fracture into a million little crumbs That'll be like a
little tiny and then we can have a salad. Yeah yeah, yeah,
like more ingredient. About the time our water breathing ends will be Cruton's last
moments. Wow, he has twenty four hours of existence because I will not
renew it unless he redeems himself. What would pray? What would he need
to do to redeem himself? Folks, we're moving on to the We're moving
on to the questions since irreconcilable computer differences have gotten in the way of us
entering the brand new shiny map room. Um and um. Of course,
as it was, it was kitten battage. But um, as you know,
we always we always answer questions from folks, and we go to the
Discord friends first because they pay the moolah to be in our Patreon and you
can pay the moolah to just go to Authors and Dragons slash Patreon and find
it on the website and authors and Dragons dot com slash Patreon and you can
find it and you can join up and you can be with the cool kids.
And so from the Discord we have Heinous Lizard who wants to know if
your character had to take one of the guy's characters on either of their games
on a date, who would it be and where would you go? Oh?
Do we have to No, I don't think Ella would associate with that
level of riff raff like eat unwillingly. I mean there would have to be
a court order involved. I think you know what, Gigi would go out
with Fendingo to the most flammable location possible and they would have a good time.
I say, I love a person on your face when you said that
because it was just perfect, just day dreaming of fall just ar thing and
you know, and that actually with y'all y'all, you know, setting things
on fire and him probably playing accompanying music. Um, Malibu would probably grab
Biorn and say let's go dancing and go dancing to the music by the fire,
you know, not so much a date as just a you'll dance with
me, and you wear flowers because you are a positive masculinity barbarian and so
so she would probably hang out with with Born. So yeah, yeah,
um, Claudia is pretty much ascial borderline anti social. Um. But I
kind of set her up as like a possible twin to Klaus because they're so
alike. But um, so I am assuming she would like want to observe
him, but keep him at a distance of like maybe twenty feet and just
like proceed throughout an evening that way, so close enough, you know,
you two just stalking another separately together, right. I mean, she does
have beer breathing right now, but she doesn't have pea breathing. I guess
I don't. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going only it's only so healthy
to breathe in so much ammonia, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I can't remove poison. I'm not y'all could like sit at the bar with
two seats in between you and you know, as long as the seats stayed
in between you and the and the bartender's right there to watch over you know.
Yeah, right, okay, Zach of All Trades says, what is
the stupidest argument that you've ever taken? Way too seriously? Well, I'll
jump in because this one I knew right away when I saw it. I
could that I could answer this one. My husband has been our DM for
a number of years, and one night we were gaming and in the game,
it was night and my character was hiding under a wagon and combat was
going on, and I said that I looked out and I was trying to
see what was going on, and he said it was too dark, but
we were in town. And we have argued ever since about how dark it's
too dark and whether in town could be dark enough for me not to be
able to see something from under that wagon. And I am not giving in.
I will hold this line until I die, and I even if he
dies before me, I'm still gonna be. I'm gonna be going to my
deathbed, going I was right. I took him outside that night and made
and look at how dark it was in the yard and that we could see
so and I will never give in. I will never give him. So
he's smiling. Anybody else have one? I mean none of my none of
my arguments have ended in death, so I don't think I've ever taken them
too seriously. I mean, come close. But you know everybody survived,
so there's it was fine, gotcha, gotcha. I'm I'm not an arguer.
If if if I can't convince somebody of my opinion, which I would
I would if I were really thinking that I'm just right, then I disengage
from the argument. I guess I'm like non confrontational that way. But I'm
just like, m this is I don't, I don't, I don't you
know. Yeah, anyway, I kind of like check out, that's that's
oh gen x, And I'm just like I'm out of here. I guess
I'm like Claudia, Uh yeah, I am the same. I'm the same
way Emily like I'm just like, okay, waste your own time and fun.
Uh yeah. I don't generally try and waste my time arguing because to
me, that's what it feels like. Like, I know I have friends
who love getting into like debates and arguments, and like that is the best
thing for them. It is not for me. That's not fun for me.
So I am just like okay, and then i'm you know, fet
out, So I leave conversations because nobody knows how to respond to that.
So that would be a pretty good way probably to end an argument. Actually
on a try try, ye had to reset the router. Sorry our internet.
Oh no, I know. Did we explain that the wild lag monster
ate us? But we will start our next session in the Dungeon of the
Great and Mighty Brew formally known as the Cathedral for tax purposes only of Sherry
Nice said, yes, there was a vicious kitten attack. I think they
were set by Fandango's lawyers to try and stay the proceeding. Well, you
know Polly wasn't around to wrangle them exact. Yeah, yeah, they're free
roaming kittens now. A um, we did the discord questions and we were
just getting ready to move on to the Facebook questions. Do you want to
if you'll have me? Oh, we lived for you to be here.
Well, you know I said that that the discord people get to go first,
and they do get to jump the line. But that does not mean
that we don't adore our Facebook friends. And so we've got questions from our
Facebook group as well, and one of them is Matthew wanting to know.
Well, he asked, what would you get from and for your character if
you were exchanging gifts? But I decided to exercise my privilege as an editor
and change the question around a little bit. And so now the question is
what would our characters give to our DM and what would she give them?
Oh my god, I would do a deck of many things, because that
causes the most problems suffering. H thank you. I would probably give you
a slightly less surly undead minion, oh slightly. Yeah. Carton has twenty
four hours and he's dead again. By the way, you omitted the fact
that he was soaked in magical beer. Yeah, that makes him extra flammable
though, So if in twenty four hours he is still alive, I will
find him. M reverse taken. Notice. Well, Malibu would give you
a big, big, giant case of white of ivory talents, all different
flavors or whatever they're called in your world. Ivory talents are fine. I
actually received a case of them at the last Authors and Dragons gone. Who
knows what I'll receive at the upcoming Authors and Dragons Colm what author I think
I would have to gift Malibu a trip to Portland, Oregon in August eighth?
Was it the eleventh through the thirteen, twenty twenty three to Portland,
Oregon so that she could party and partake in ivory talents with me. She
likes that idea, and you too can join us. You just have to
go to Authors and Dragons dot com and go click on the part about the
con and get your tickets and then show up and join us and watch us
be ridiculous in person because we're almost worse in person, almost almost, not
almost, we are almost almost. We do have to avoid getting arrested,
so we're not as bad in person because you know, there's like authorities,
but like online, no holds bar. Speaking for yourself, this badass bitch
got banned from Twitter for my co writer. Did you insult Elon's intelligence or
his genital size or something? No? No, I used the idiom beat
you to the punch, which doesn't even have any sort of violent action in
it. It literally refers to a beverage. But the bots determined that was
hate speech and I was threatening Rick well Terry so because yeah, I finally
gave up and just deleted it and called them idiots. And thus I am
back with my tail between my legs. Oh no, well, well,
my DM, which is which is Rachel right there, gave me ears,
I did. I gave her a real life um bare ears. Yeah,
and that you know, the exchange of bare ears amongst anybody is like the
best thing in the world. I love them. As the saying chocolate and
white, it's true, that's true. Yum wine gums. Rick likes wine
gums. I've never had them, and I, oh my god, yeah,
I had to share. That was my own personal bag too. So
that's how much I love you. Oh my gosh, thank you. I
have the two pound box, a one kilo box. It's from from England.
Cool. But yeah, that's the question was the question was what our
characters would give the DM or what we would the characters same barriers. It's
barriers. I try to get them, it's not gonna work. I'm going
to rocket off like a bear. I think it are from Japan too,
so they're very like dainty. It's like a Rakish angle. There we go.
Ah, I love it, I love it. What about you,
Theresa. I think Ella would probably forget that this was a gift giving holiday
and she would give you, at the very last minute the honor of being
worth her notice I always wanted and I would have to just give you land
of your own to have Henchman rule, because nothing makes a GM happier than
putting extra mechanics. She a fucking memorize and have you spend on side quests
would be amazing. That would be so good awesome. Okay, well,
then we have one more question and it is from our dear beloved super fan
you you know him, you know who I'm gonna say it would be bark.
Do we want to say it? That was very uncoordinated, but actually,
um so, Mark wants to know what is your most favorite and least
favorite holiday song? Oh gosh paw. Favorite holiday song is this is Halloween
from Nightmare Before Christmas. Huhne. My least favorite is fucking Last Christmas,
which knocked me out of where I'm ageddon again this year at the one time
I put my breaking Cars stereo on the radio. No minute. I got
knocked out last Thursday, barely into December, get at a CAF name got
knocked out. Yeah, I'm still holding straw because I want fourteen on serious
xm Emily and I though will drink in Wamahala. So yeah, it's really
I don't I do. I run from the from the Boy. I do
the Little Drummer Boy challenge, which is really hard because it's any version of
the Little Drummer Boy. Any section of the music that is used in a
commercial counts anything that is the Little Drummer Boy, and so you really have
to be on your toes. And the boy the boy chasing Oh absolutely,
the David Boy, one that gets a lot of people every year. So
but um, I'm safe. But I am a gentle DM. I want
running through my head. I actually do not like the Little Drummer Boy as
a song. It so yeah, just sometimes I like him as a person.
Yeah, I mean, you know, a little jerk shows up,
the baby is finally Hey, I'm gonna play the Driver's ruined by an asshole
and a drum set all over the Mary looked up and said, okay,
where's your mama. My least favorite is definitely one hundred percent absolutely that freaking
Mariah carries my eyeballs out. Oh god, I'll go with that. Hate
it, you know what? I I think I hate it because it's been
so overplayed, Like if I did hear every fifteen seconds during the season,
I probably wouldn't hate it. Actually, And it's like that first note she
digs into it's like a howl. Yeah, everybody, Yeah, there's some
TikTok that has like that that first note of it as like a howl,
and it has her like bursting out of ice or it's like or oh god,
I did it get like the shining. It's just like Mariah at the
door, like Mariah basically. Oh um. My least favorite is the Christmas
Shoe song, Shoes for my Mama. That song. I hate it.
Um yeah, I want to buy these shoes for my mom so she can
die in them. Yeah. Yeah, she's gonna die in these shoes.
That's what. That's the meaning of Christmas. So many melancholy, so good.
Then there's what Christmas in New York by the pokes. Now that one's
that one's just like so down. I actually enjoy it. Trouble during the
holidays. Why are we bringing everybody down? Why do they could set her?
I think it was because they didn't really know much about what acts.
Seasonal effective depression actually was like, we're gonna sing about people die and during
Christmas, for the holidays, that's the love die. We're gonna drink heavily.
We're gonna be mad at our relatives who are awful have three hours of
sunlight. Actually that's kind of a human condition. In song, oh boy.
Uh and if I had to pick a Christmas song, but I liked
if, I was like, it's just that holiday, so I I mean,
yeah, that's true. Uh, I do like that one. Uh
my first in sync with Aky Breaky Heart for Valentine's Day, but that doesn't
really Now it's in my head and I'm trying not to sing it to get
demonetized. But that one still is better than like my funny Valentine, which
is horribly Yes, that is you know what. I'll just find Aky Breaky
Heart because I can't think of another song with that now playing in my head.
We should just christmify it, shouldn't we? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
So if anyone can think of Chris my Christmas lyrics for Achy Breaky Heart,
we will sing them, because then we can say we're doing fair use
parody. It's my it's my achy breaky back because when I was up on
the step and I were putting up the Christmas lights outside, I forgot I
was on the second step breaking time and stepped back and slammed my foot into
the ground because what I mean, self injury more than once, in the
same way as how I freaking rolls. How did you have like an epic
way of doing the Christmas lights that was so easy last year? Yes,
and I still don't know what it is, probably with my notebook with all
the game notes, right. Oh No, he was a very bad brain
day that day, and it got worse because there's construction on the lot next
to us, and they were so the truck started up and it's so loud
that it vibrates your skull and your brain just started to do like you know,
buffering wheels. Yeah. I had to go inside because I was like,
no, bueno, wow, thank you, thank you all done.
M brain No worked good in those conditions. Oh no, it did not
not at all. I wish I couldn't imagine sounds because now I have that
horrible vibrating really loud construction sound in my head, I prefer Aky Breaky Heart.
Just think of Akey Breaky Heart and the Little Drummer Boy. Gah,
I've just read elim in my mind the power of words I will never use
responsibly on that terrifying note. Maybe time that we just stop. I don't
see this getting any more positive behind. Yeah. I didn't want to do
one thing though, um if I could, since this is our this is
our last show of the year, right, thank goodness. I mean not
that I want to see you guys, but like, let's put let's let
twenty two die. Well, yeah, before we go, I did want
to give a shout out to somebody, um, Jamie, who I met
at Carolina Renaissance Festival. Hey you Jamie came and bought books from me at
at the Carolina Renaissance Festival and was a fan of the show. And so
oh, I said, well, let me make sure and and do a
shout out. So so hey Jamie. But by Jamie, I have to
do a shout out to my co worker who just discovered I was on a
podcast. So hey, deb please don't play this at the office, please,
no, no, no, no, we have to shout f you
debrab episode a little spell? Anyone else have any other shout outs? Ye,
shouble the dirt on this year. Shout out to my roommate to only
hear my side of the conversation and never know what's happening. You're arguing with
an undead named Cruton. They probably think you're having a salad issue. Yeah,
why are you telling Cruton? You've known him thirty seconds and you hate
him? What is what? How about you Emily or Theresa? Any shout
outs to end the year? Shout out to my team that I manage at
work. I hope you never ever listen to this, I guess. Shout
out to my six year old nephew, who I hope never over never listens
to this because there's no coming back from this. But I think we should
also end with one very special We have one more chance to get it right
this year. There is one fan who has been with us since the beginning,
and he brought us booze last con Yes he did, he did.
Can we get it right on three? No? No one. That was
even worse than the first year, but still better than we've done in the
past. Indeed, I don't know what that says about us, but anyway
that we love all of our fans, we are average white girls with no
sense of timing. As a sincere shout out to everybody in the Authors and
Dragons group for giving me such a lovely and warm welcome and for just being
like the most awesome little community pretty much ever, as well as you lovely
ladies for tolerating Gigi, And may many more crutons come to us all man
in next week, sorry next month, don't tune in next will be une
in next year to find out how faulty this cruton will be? And will
our e car ever see the beautiful map? Will it ever load for her?
I think literally it crashed the Internet along with my cats, and hopefully
they'll be better behaved next time we joined. But seriously, peace, love,
light, loot buy from the Calamity James. Peace out. Also,
some Dragons brought two hundred Creative Commons license, meaning you were free to share
this material so long as credit is given to those who create it, which
is us. You just started to play became opening and closing themes performed by
the Gore Core four