WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:11.199 This is pod Populi Podcast for the People, the Great Love Debate. It's 2 00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:17.640 the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate. It's a Great Love Debate. 3 00:00:18.039 --> 00:00:22.120 Hi again, everyone's Brian how We welcome to the Great Love Debate, 4 00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:25.839 the world's number one dating and relationship podcasts. It's twenty fifteen. I am 5 00:00:25.879 --> 00:00:30.480 here in the very fine studios of pod Populi Podcast for the People. I 6 00:00:30.480 --> 00:00:34.200 am once again at the one in Scottsdale, Arizona, which I just love. 7 00:00:35.799 --> 00:00:38.320 I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I'm doing something that I consider 8 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:41.240 cheating in the podcasting world. I don't want to cheat on you, guys, 9 00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:44.200 but I'm gonna tell you so. I had a I am very very 10 00:00:44.359 --> 00:00:48.399 late to record and drop. The window between the time I recorded a podcast 11 00:00:48.439 --> 00:00:51.600 and when I release it to you guys is very very short. I like 12 00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:54.520 to keep my podcasts fresh. I do not bank a banch. I do 13 00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:57.640 not do them six months in advance. I do or I bang them out 14 00:00:57.679 --> 00:01:00.640 and you get them. And the deadline to drop them generally is Tuesday, 15 00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:03.200 very very early in the morning. I am recording this on a Monday. 16 00:01:03.239 --> 00:01:08.680 I had a couple of guests lined up and at the last minute, they 17 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:12.519 flaked and I have to get on airplane. And rather than make you guys 18 00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:17.280 wait a day and break my streak of four hundred and twenty something in a 19 00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:21.120 row eight years without ever missing a drop, I'm gonna cheat a little. 20 00:01:22.560 --> 00:01:25.920 As soon as they said they had to cancel, I'm like, oh my 21 00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:27.959 god, don't do that. And then I remember an episode I did about 22 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:33.000 a year and a half ago that was entitled please don't do that, and 23 00:01:33.040 --> 00:01:34.519 I really liked it and I got a bunch of feedback on it, so 24 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:38.760 I'm gonna run it again as sort of a rerun. This is an intro 25 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:42.200 to that rerun. And sorry if that seems like cheating, but a lot 26 00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:44.040 of guys didn't listen to that. A lot of you guys are new, 27 00:01:44.599 --> 00:01:48.719 so please forgive me if you've heard it before. If you have, If 28 00:01:48.760 --> 00:01:51.000 you haven't heard it before, take notes. If you have heard it before, 29 00:01:51.319 --> 00:01:55.159 good refresher for you. A whole bunch of things that I got submitted 30 00:01:55.159 --> 00:01:57.480 from you weird questions, and I did a whole episode called please don't do 31 00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:01.079 that. Don't cancel the podcast, guests, because it really screws up the 32 00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:06.200 timing and that trickles down to you guys. So without further ado, we're 33 00:02:06.200 --> 00:02:12.599 gonna roll it back again, and I appreciate it, thank you. So 34 00:02:12.680 --> 00:02:19.000 I'm gonna hit you guys with a whole bunch of scenarios and questions and habits 35 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:21.400 that a lot of people either have been asking about or are that I have 36 00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:24.840 noticed that they're doing. And my answer is, oh my god, please 37 00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:30.039 don't do that. So the first one I got because I noticed it and 38 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:34.120 somebody asked my opinion on it, which really doesn't have to do with great 39 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:38.479 Love debate. They just socially asked my opinion about the married people. And 40 00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:42.879 there are quite a few of you who listen to this show. And you 41 00:02:42.919 --> 00:02:46.520 are a couple who I'm going to rule out Grandma and grandpa who are eighty 42 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:50.639 five years old, and they do this, But say you are under sixty 43 00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:53.319 five, and you do this if you're a couple who combines your email address 44 00:02:55.159 --> 00:03:05.319 or your social media accounts, so it's Dave Brenda New York, or it's 45 00:03:05.800 --> 00:03:09.800 you know, Kelly and Andy at Gmail, And as they say, please 46 00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:14.360 don't do that, Oh my god, please don't do that. Be people 47 00:03:14.919 --> 00:03:20.360 just because you got married that shouldn't be you're defining characteristic. You are not 48 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:24.520 Siamese married can I is Siamese twins? Still? And an acceptable term? 49 00:03:24.599 --> 00:03:30.360 Is that offensive to conjoined? I think conjoined is the term. Sorry, 50 00:03:30.840 --> 00:03:35.439 any of our conjoined people out there who are listening, I'm sorry, but 51 00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:39.719 please don't do that. Be individual. People have your own thoughts and hobbies 52 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:45.960 and habits and friends and people you want to communicate with. I can't even 53 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:49.080 imagine the practicality of something like that, like honey email, Oh that's for 54 00:03:49.120 --> 00:03:53.520 you? Oh did you answer it? It's ridiculous, it's dumb. You're 55 00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:55.879 far more likely to break up if you do something like this. I do 56 00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:59.439 believe that. So you're gonna have to start a new at one anyway, 57 00:03:59.560 --> 00:04:08.599 So start now, save time. Sarah and John together forever at Gmail. 58 00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:13.800 Don't be together, not like that. That's the one that you can easily 59 00:04:13.800 --> 00:04:18.040 control. Set up your own social media. You're not an LLC, you 60 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:20.800 know, under one umbrella you could do your own thing. Set up your 61 00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:27.360 own emails, because if you don't get that an email that many emails, 62 00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:29.519 it's not a big deal. And if you get a ton of emails, 63 00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:31.240 it is a big deal. That you're sharing it. It's ridiculous. Stop 64 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:35.160 doing that. Please, don't do that. The next thing that I'm gonna 65 00:04:35.160 --> 00:04:41.160 give you is, I'm watching the local news the other day, the morning 66 00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:44.079 news. I like the morning news. I like to know what's happening in 67 00:04:44.240 --> 00:04:46.879 whatever community I'm in. I like it. I like to take the temperature 68 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:47.920 of it. I like how they do the weather and the traffic. I 69 00:04:47.959 --> 00:04:51.240 like it. But anyway, I'm watching the local news and they had a 70 00:04:51.319 --> 00:04:56.839 story on Devin Booker of the Phoenix Suns, of basketball player breaking up with 71 00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:05.279 Kendra Kylie Kendall. There Kendrick Kardashian Jenner, a jet of one of Kim's 72 00:05:05.319 --> 00:05:09.639 sisters, one of Kim's younger sisters. I don't know if she's a Jennor 73 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:15.120 Kardashian. Devin Booker was dating a Jenner Kardashian. I think it was Kendall. 74 00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:19.160 That's my final answer. Kendall. Sorry, Kim is top dog and 75 00:05:19.199 --> 00:05:24.360 then everybody else's everybody else. But anyway, the news people were reporting it 76 00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:27.560 as a news story, and I don't care how slow a news day. 77 00:05:27.639 --> 00:05:31.160 Your news story is. Devin Booker breaking up with whichever one of the Kim's 78 00:05:31.160 --> 00:05:36.319 sisters. That's not a news story, but that's not really my point. 79 00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:43.560 My point is if you were watching this and you had some sort of emotional 80 00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:49.199 reaction to it, please don't do that. You should never care about any 81 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:56.759 relationship other than the one you're in, and if you aren't in one, 82 00:05:56.879 --> 00:06:01.480 you should care even less about other people's. So when you look at celebrities 83 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:06.879 marriages, or your friends relationships, or things you see on social media, 84 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:14.480 or even your siblings or your parents or your grandparents, I think you know 85 00:06:14.680 --> 00:06:16.519 you know what is good and bad are going on with them. You think 86 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:25.279 you know, and you're like, I want to be like them and root 87 00:06:25.319 --> 00:06:29.279 for them. Whether it's celebrities or even mom and dad. You don't have 88 00:06:29.319 --> 00:06:32.360 any idea what is going on. And I'm serious about that. People like 89 00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:34.040 you don't. Oh, you don't know. You're not that close with your 90 00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:36.639 parents. Maybe I don't think you're as close with your parents as you think 91 00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:41.800 they are, that you know the status of their relationship. Maybe Mom is 92 00:06:41.879 --> 00:06:46.839 secretly unhappy, she doesn't want to tell you necessarily, and she probably doesn't 93 00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:50.040 want to tell dad. Or maybe Dad has lost his feelings and that's why 94 00:06:50.079 --> 00:06:54.920 he fishes all the time. So you should root for their happiness. But 95 00:06:54.959 --> 00:06:59.839 you should root for everybody's happiness. You should want everybody to be happy and 96 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:02.680 find love. That's what we're doing here. We want everybody to be happy 97 00:07:02.839 --> 00:07:08.319 and everybody to find love. But if you're trying to be like, oh 98 00:07:08.399 --> 00:07:12.879 my god, that I love that couple so much. I love them together. 99 00:07:13.639 --> 00:07:17.199 I loved j Lo and Ben Affleck. That's what she's still on Ben 100 00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:21.040 Affleck, right, Ben Affleck, I love them together. That's insane to 101 00:07:21.079 --> 00:07:28.160 me. Please don't do that. If you're someone who spent one second, 102 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:30.879 and there are a lot of you out there who spent far more than one 103 00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:36.120 second hoping that that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt will get back together, please 104 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:43.480 don't do that. They don't do that. I don't think Jen Aniston sits 105 00:07:43.519 --> 00:07:48.160 around wondering if she's gonna get back together with Brad Pitt. He's like fifteen 106 00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:55.160 boyfriends ago, and a marriage ago and twenty years ago. So they don't 107 00:07:55.199 --> 00:08:01.360 do that. Why do you do that? Don't do that? Or you 108 00:08:01.399 --> 00:08:05.120 looked at pictures from your friend's vacation with her husband and think I want that. 109 00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:11.839 You don't even know what that is or who they are together. Please 110 00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:18.720 don't do that. Their business is not your business, and the reason for 111 00:08:18.759 --> 00:08:26.199 that is you truly have no idea about their business. So I have a 112 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:30.560 little bit of idea about our business. I gotta take a quick break, 113 00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:33.120 because this is, after all, a business, even though I'm passionate curious 114 00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:37.399 as a business. And we'll get into some more of these things that you 115 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:46.039 should please not do right after this, and we are back and I'm running 116 00:08:46.039 --> 00:08:50.960 through a whole bunch of things, a grab bag full of things that please 117 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:58.399 don't do that. So we've done whole episodes on this before. But if 118 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:01.960 you go up to an AX, or not even an X, maybe it's 119 00:09:01.960 --> 00:09:05.480 someone who just stopped calling you back, whether they ghosted you or not, 120 00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:07.679 they just you don't talk to them anymore. And you see them at the 121 00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:11.679 supermarket or you see them at a bar or a club, and you want 122 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:13.360 to go up to and say, hey, why did you do that? 123 00:09:13.080 --> 00:09:18.480 Please don't do that. Don't do that. You won't get the answer you 124 00:09:18.519 --> 00:09:24.039 want. You're not Chris Hansen. These these these gotcha techniques, they are 125 00:09:24.120 --> 00:09:28.639 pointless with people who don't care about you, and they clearly don't care about 126 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:35.639 you, certainly not now, probably not ever. If you do something because 127 00:09:35.639 --> 00:09:41.639 you're looking for answers, please don't do that. You're not getting them, 128 00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:45.080 not in the way you want, not what you want. It's just more 129 00:09:45.320 --> 00:09:52.279 wasted time thinking, wondering, worrying, missing someone who doesn't think, wonder, 130 00:09:52.399 --> 00:10:00.559 worry, or miss you. If you're someone who's online dating, opener 131 00:10:00.919 --> 00:10:03.080 a lot of people. I ask people all this time online dating, what 132 00:10:03.120 --> 00:10:05.159 do you open with? What do you reach out with? And if your 133 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:11.360 first line is how is your day? Oh my god, please don't do 134 00:10:11.399 --> 00:10:15.960 that. Don't do that in person, and don't do that online. It 135 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:18.080 is the laziest form of conversation. It does not show that you care. 136 00:10:18.200 --> 00:10:22.919 It shows that you don't care because you gave it no thought. Their answer 137 00:10:22.039 --> 00:10:26.799 won't matter because your question has already shown you were too boring to be dated 138 00:10:26.840 --> 00:10:31.159 in the first place. If that's what you're opening up with, small talk 139 00:10:31.240 --> 00:10:37.519 kills a friendship, and it kills a potential relationship because you started things on 140 00:10:37.559 --> 00:10:41.000 a dull note. So I'm not going to get back into all the things 141 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:45.200 that we've told you that you need to say and that you should say. 142 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:48.759 Go listen to all of the episodes if you want those but that is something 143 00:10:48.759 --> 00:10:54.360 you should never say or ask, how is your day? Use your imagination. 144 00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:58.080 Even if you're really curious about how someone's day was because you knew they 145 00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:03.399 had a tough day, get in a better way, or honestly, just 146 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:11.519 say hi, how are you doing. That's better. It's a it's not 147 00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:13.559 an assessment of their day. And you're asking somebody, how is my day? 148 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:18.120 I don't fucking know. It's two o'clock. It's not over. It's 149 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:24.039 nails on a chalkboard. It's excruciating. Please don't do that. Do better. 150 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:30.320 One of the oldest tenants we have around here at the g LD is 151 00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:37.399 to get rid of the words not my type. If you're over thirty and 152 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:39.759 you're still single, you have no type. Your type is not working out 153 00:11:39.799 --> 00:11:48.039 for you. Please don't do that. Please stop saying we're thinking I need 154 00:11:48.039 --> 00:11:52.360 this, this, and this. You don't because you you've probably had some 155 00:11:52.440 --> 00:11:54.000 version of this, this and this before it and didn't work out for you. 156 00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:56.720 Because if you're looking for this, this, and this, you're missing 157 00:11:56.720 --> 00:12:03.000 out on that. That and that and that is definitely better than this because 158 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:07.600 you haven't had that yet, you had this. You're still here, still 159 00:12:07.639 --> 00:12:11.080 here, saying so and so is not my type, too big, too 160 00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:16.600 small, too blonde, to this, that all of it. Get rid 161 00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:20.159 of. Please don't do that anymore. That is probably number one on the 162 00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.799 things people like. What piece of advice do you gotta give people? Get 163 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:28.960 rid of the words not my type generally speaking. Also, just get rid 164 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:35.960 of all your dumb rules when you when you will call them, when you 165 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:39.440 think, oh, I'm gonna call them now now it's time for me to 166 00:12:39.480 --> 00:12:46.120 say I love you. Most importantly now is when I think I will have 167 00:12:46.200 --> 00:12:52.240 sex with them. All these pre calculated formulaic equations that you've mapped out. 168 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:54.279 If I do this, this and this, it's going to make them do 169 00:12:54.360 --> 00:12:58.759 this, this and this. It's never going to be that. Ever, 170 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:03.080 some woman emailed me the other day with I have a firm three month rule, 171 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:07.840 no sex for three months of a new relationship. She meets somebody, 172 00:13:07.879 --> 00:13:09.799 she goes out of them. She wanted sex some one for three months, 173 00:13:09.799 --> 00:13:15.480 which is absurd and insane and inconsistent. Not the three months, but because 174 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:20.000 I guarantee you she has never waited three months for sex. Ever, it's 175 00:13:20.039 --> 00:13:24.639 just an arbitrary line in the sand that she decided to draw up one day 176 00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:28.519 to see if it's sort of magically changed things for her. Please don't do 177 00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:31.919 that, because what is three months mean? What if you saw somebody four 178 00:13:31.960 --> 00:13:37.039 times in three months, you still go by to three months. I say 179 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:39.240 that people in long distance relationships, So I go how long even day? 180 00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:41.120 And they're like two years, And I'm like, when do you see each 181 00:13:41.159 --> 00:13:48.120 other like every other weekend unless you've see each other like like forty times, 182 00:13:48.120 --> 00:13:52.320 So I'm not sure that's a relationship. Anybody can see anybody on weekends and 183 00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:56.320 holidays, that's easy. It's Tuesday morning when you got to get up and 184 00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:58.320 go to work. That's a relationship anyway. So if you saw somebody four 185 00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:01.200 times in three months, I don't know. Is that three months? Well? 186 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:05.279 What if you saw somebody every single day for eleven weeks? You still 187 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:09.480 need to wait that last week because if this random thing you decided three months 188 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:15.000 was magically going to change the outcome of your relationships? No, And the 189 00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:20.600 sex thing comes up so much at our live shows, the aforementioned live shows, 190 00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:24.480 and I usually steer away from it. And it's not I stay away 191 00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:26.440 from because it's lazy or I'm a prude or anything. It's just such a 192 00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:33.639 random hole to go down, no pun intended. People are so nonsensical about 193 00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:37.519 it. So I'll just say this, if you are using sex as a 194 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:46.720 referendum or a reward, please don't do that. Don't do that making him 195 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:54.120 her wait. It doesn't mean you know them better. It doesn't mean they 196 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.279 like you better. It doesn't mean they respect you more. It just means 197 00:14:58.279 --> 00:15:01.320 they waited a little longer for sex after a while. For a lot of 198 00:15:01.399 --> 00:15:05.159 especially dudes, it's ROI like, you don't have an eighteen times I guess 199 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:07.559 I gotta wait eighteen times more. But eventually I'm gonna get that ro. 200 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:11.559 I'm gonna get some return on this. It doesn't mean anything other than they 201 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:15.720 just waited a little longer, and you're just as likely to break up the 202 00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:18.360 day after you had sex for the first time if you waited five years to 203 00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:22.960 do it as if you waited five hours to do it. It's the same. 204 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:28.960 You don't know them well enough to commit to them or to be in 205 00:15:28.039 --> 00:15:33.279 a quote unquote monogamous relationship with them until you've had sex, because the sex 206 00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:39.039 changes everything. Everything prior to the sex is just ping pong warm up. 207 00:15:39.960 --> 00:15:43.919 It's fine, it helps. There's some feelings involved, but ultimately it's irrelevant 208 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:48.279 until you find out about the sex and how that changes things because people get 209 00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:54.080 crazy both ways. It always changes things for him, for her, for 210 00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:58.759 you. So if you're playing games with it, please stop doing that. 211 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:03.039 It's a dangerous game to play with yourself emotionally. You do it when you 212 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:06.799 want to do it and when you're comfortable to it, and has nothing to 213 00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:08.480 do with the other person and their feelings that they may or may not have 214 00:16:08.600 --> 00:16:12.679 for you. If you do it or don't do it, take ownership of 215 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:18.080 it. If you're playing games with it, you're gonna get hurt. You 216 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:22.799 wait three months great doesn't make you any more likely to be his girlfriend or 217 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:26.759 fiance or wife. It just means you simply didn't have sex with somebody for 218 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:29.879 three months, and then when you do, the clock starts again on some 219 00:16:29.960 --> 00:16:34.240 other avenue of your relationship. That's really the extent of it. It's a 220 00:16:34.279 --> 00:16:42.320 footnote in the paragraph in the chapter in the book on that note running of 221 00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:48.360 these people. If you're constantly taking the temperature of your status or how the 222 00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:53.600 other person feels, please don't do that. Am I your boyfriend? Do 223 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:56.519 you see us together for five years? What are your hopes for us? 224 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:06.039 Please stop doing that. People hate quizzes, People hate summing up feelings in 225 00:17:06.119 --> 00:17:10.039 words when you want them. Not everybody's good at it. I'm pretty good 226 00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:11.880 at it because I spent a lot of time thinking about it. But most 227 00:17:11.880 --> 00:17:15.960 people, when you ask them a question on the spot and they know that 228 00:17:15.960 --> 00:17:18.119 that question is you want to hear a certain answer in a certain way. 229 00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:22.799 It's not an honest conversation. It's not honest for you to ask it, 230 00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:26.680 and the answer you're going to give it is probably not fully formulated. Words 231 00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:32.200 take time and they are private in their formation. To get the articulation. 232 00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:36.480 It's hard for people to do that. It's hard for people to write it, 233 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:37.880 it's hard to people to say it, and it's certainly hard for you 234 00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:42.200 to boom get exactly what you want. Please don't do that. Putting somebody 235 00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:47.720 on the spot won't get you that. Asking how they feel in a moment 236 00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:52.400 might not say anything about how they'll feel in the morning. You're asking somebody 237 00:17:52.440 --> 00:17:56.200 to guess about the future when they're still getting comfortable with the present and with 238 00:17:56.319 --> 00:18:02.160 you and with the two of you. Just focus on the feelings, not 239 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:06.359 the expression of them, and a lot of people just really need to know 240 00:18:06.519 --> 00:18:08.799 because they want to give an answer to other people who are asking that, 241 00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:12.920 what's the deal with you two? Are you guys exclusive? Are you gonna 242 00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:15.200 get engaged? Are you gonna get married, You're gonna have kids? Blah 243 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.400 blah blah blah blah. Everybody, all the outsiders want to know. It 244 00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:22.200 takes me back to the beginning where you got to ignore everybody else doing it. 245 00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:26.720 Fuck them, fuck them, your need to announce every aspect of relationship 246 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:33.400 followers social media, Please don't do that. It's not necessary. Nobody cares, 247 00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:40.119 or the people who do care, you don't really want them to care. 248 00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:45.759 I'm not sure everybody's rooting for you. I'm not sure everybody's noticing what 249 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:48.880 you want them to notice or the way you want to to. Like, 250 00:18:48.039 --> 00:18:53.480 stop doing that, Just be present in the moment, in the relationship and 251 00:18:53.559 --> 00:19:00.720 see where it goes. Not everything means something. Everything has to mean something, 252 00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:07.400 and not every question has an answer, which is fine too. We 253 00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:11.160 raise a lot of questions around here and we don't always have answers, and 254 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:15.839 there's just as much value in that. And I really like that. So 255 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:18.759 you ask me where my passion and curiosity is in this whole thing where I 256 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:22.960 started out him. It's raising the questions. Sometimes we find the answers, 257 00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:27.160 sometimes we don't. Sometimes we share possibilities. That's all part of it, 258 00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:30.519 and that's what I like about it. Everything else, all these other little 259 00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:37.359 tricks and techniques and things you're trying to do, please don't do them, 260 00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:41.519 all of them. Shoot us an email. Great Love Debate at gmail dot 261 00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:45.359 com. Like I said, we have a listener letter episode our annual Summer 262 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:48.799 lovin. It's a little late this year, but we got to do it. 263 00:19:48.359 --> 00:19:51.720 You might get one under the wire if it's really really good. Shoot 264 00:19:51.759 --> 00:19:55.240 it to us. Great Love Debate at gmail dot com. Check out the 265 00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:59.359 aforementioned tour schedule. By the time this drops, I assume one or two 266 00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:02.279 will be on sale. I hope, so if not, check the social 267 00:20:02.279 --> 00:20:03.799 media. I don't know. The Great Love to Boat is still happening. 268 00:20:04.279 --> 00:20:10.160 Don't give up on that. We're still doing the cruise. Most importantly, 269 00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:14.200 as always, like share, subscribe, please review this podcast. Your reviews 270 00:20:14.359 --> 00:20:19.039 will always be appreciated and mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem because, as 271 00:20:19.079 --> 00:20:23.119 always, at The Great Love Debate we never stopped making love. See you 272 00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:33.640 next time. The Greatest love Debate. It's the Great love debate. The 273 00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:37.599 Great love Debate. It's the Great love Debate.