WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.639 --> 00:00:22.120 I'm sorrygies. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? 2 00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:25.800 If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, so keep 3 00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:30.760 listening. I'm that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times 4 00:00:30.839 --> 00:00:34.960 a baby girl, We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling 5 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:40.880 our most empowered positive bitch self. That is baby in true connection with herself. 6 00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:45.119 On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully 7 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:49.759 step into exactly who we came to planet to be. Can I get a 8 00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:56.840 name? Men? Today? Waha ha ha ha. We are talking about 9 00:00:57.320 --> 00:01:03.200 validaean who is Why do we crave her? And how can we get her 10 00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:06.760 and give it to ourself? That is what we're going to be talking about 11 00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:10.120 today. A lot of us have been trained, if not all of us, 12 00:01:10.120 --> 00:01:15.319 have been trained to look to receive validation from others, and that is 13 00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:21.280 just a faulty program that we need to unlearn and rewire. Not only are 14 00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:26.000 we going to unlearn needing validation from others, but we're gonna learn how to 15 00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:29.959 give that ship to ourselves, because that is what life and being connected to 16 00:01:29.959 --> 00:01:38.200 ourself is truly about. We're going to talk all things validation to day, 17 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:42.159 But Dan Senta before we get into it, you know, I have a 18 00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:49.519 couple of announcements to give you. If you have not yet tried Magic Mind, 19 00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:53.959 Sis, what are you doing? Magic Mind is my little magic in 20 00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:57.319 a bottle. I love Magic Mind because prior to finding Magic Mind, I 21 00:01:57.359 --> 00:02:01.359 was using all these different pre work and they were giving me crazy high highs 22 00:02:01.400 --> 00:02:06.560 and crazy low lows. Did I mention they were also breaking me out and 23 00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.120 I was not having it with my skin. I take Magic Mind because it 24 00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:14.319 gives me the perfect boost of energy while still allowing me to flow with my 25 00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:17.919 natural, authentic flow of energy. The magic of Magic Mind really comes down 26 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:23.400 to its ingredients. It has macha, which contains way less caffeine than coffee 27 00:02:23.400 --> 00:02:25.759 and these other pre workouts. Plus all the ingredients are really clean. We 28 00:02:25.840 --> 00:02:30.080 have ashraganda helps reduce stress and anxiety. We got a little bit of lines 29 00:02:30.120 --> 00:02:35.599 main mushrooms again that helps reduce anxiety and inflammation. If you want to add 30 00:02:35.599 --> 00:02:38.840 a little magic to your life, you can get Magic Mind at www dot 31 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:43.879 magic mind dot com. Slash positive and get up to fifty six percent off 32 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:47.199 your subscription in the next ten days with my code positive twenty your code will 33 00:02:47.240 --> 00:02:53.439 be forever valid for twenty percent off both one time purchases and subscriptions, but 34 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:58.159 in the next ten days it's fifty six percent off with a subscription. That's 35 00:02:58.280 --> 00:03:02.199 www dot magic mind dot com. Slash positive and use my code Positive twenty. 36 00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:07.000 If you're not yet following me on Instagram, at Vibe and CCN at 37 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:09.639 that Bitch is Positive, follow me there where you can suggest topics for this 38 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:15.000 podcast and get daily tips on how to align with your most magnetic self. 39 00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:16.800 If you're going through a breakup, join the twenty one Day but Break Up 40 00:03:16.840 --> 00:03:21.520 Globe Challenge to take your power back, put yourself back on that pedestal, 41 00:03:21.759 --> 00:03:24.439 and of course glow up. If you're dating or want to learn how to 42 00:03:24.439 --> 00:03:29.120 become the subject of your life again, you can join the Pedestal Path, 43 00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:35.319 claim your pedestal and claim your life. That is what it's all about. 44 00:03:35.639 --> 00:03:39.319 I'm telling you this course. It has over four hours of video content teaching 45 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:43.919 you how to reclaim your power. You don't want to sleep on it. 46 00:03:44.360 --> 00:03:46.120 If you want to call your power back, but you want to get started 47 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:49.639 with a workbook, you can get the Call in your Power Back Workbook, 48 00:03:49.879 --> 00:03:53.520 and of course get the Healing your Divine Feminine Energy Workbook, which will also 49 00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:57.360 be in the show notes. Everything I mentioned will always be in the show 50 00:03:57.400 --> 00:04:00.400 notes. All the magical portals will be in show notes. If you want 51 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:02.800 one on one coaching with me, law, you can hit me in the 52 00:04:02.840 --> 00:04:09.360 DMS at vibing with CC. I almost forgot my Instagram name for a second. 53 00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:12.400 There. You can hit me in the DMS at vibing with CC again. 54 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:14.919 That will be in the show notes and we can talk there about how 55 00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:19.000 it can help you. Okay, without further ado, let's get into today's 56 00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:25.360 episode. Why do we crave validation? Why do we want it? What 57 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:29.839 the fuck is up with validation? Let's talk about it. So here's the 58 00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:33.199 thing. We're born, cool, awesome, Thanks mom and dad, good 59 00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:38.959 job. We're born. And when we're a baby, everyone's ooing and eyeing 60 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:42.959 at us. Oh my god, you're a baby. You're so cool and 61 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:48.920 awesome. So naturally we get all this attention when we're born. Everyone's obsessed. 62 00:04:50.199 --> 00:04:56.199 Is being a baby the ultimate form of being on your pedestal? Now 63 00:04:56.240 --> 00:05:00.600 that I think about it, holy shit, it totally is. When you're 64 00:05:00.600 --> 00:05:03.279 a baby, you literally don't have to do anything. In fact, you 65 00:05:03.319 --> 00:05:09.560 can cry all day, throw temper tantrums and everyone will still be obsessed with 66 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:13.439 you. Okay, I think that being a baby is the ultimate form of 67 00:05:13.480 --> 00:05:15.040 being on your pedestal. I mean, you get all of your needs met, 68 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:19.000 you have people doting on you, and people are obsessed, always paying 69 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:24.000 attention to you. Anyway more, All of the story here is that when 70 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:27.439 we're a baby, everyone's ooing and eyeing at us, everyone's giving us all 71 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:30.279 their attention, everyone is in love with us. We go to a party 72 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:33.399 and everyone's like, look at my baby, And people look at you like 73 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:41.680 you are Jesus Christ himself. They are obsessed. Now something funny starts to 74 00:05:41.720 --> 00:05:46.519 happen. As you may have noticed about yourself, is we grow up, 75 00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:51.959 oh pure, pretty high, Oh being a teenager, Oh being a young 76 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:58.160 adult, Oh being an adult, and people stop ooing andnawing at us. 77 00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:04.480 What happened? Were almost obsessed with me, and now they're not. Everyone 78 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:10.160 was giving me that validation and now they're not. As a toddler, we 79 00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:15.160 instinctively know in order to survive, we need our parent or caregivers attention and 80 00:06:15.279 --> 00:06:18.160 affection. To survive, we need their affection, we need their love. 81 00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:20.720 We need their connection. Who's going to pay the bill, who's going to 82 00:06:20.800 --> 00:06:25.279 give us clothing and food, Who's going to take care of us? So 83 00:06:25.319 --> 00:06:29.839 we instinctively know, okay, I'm not getting the ooh an eweing effect anymore. 84 00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:32.480 What do I have to do in order to get their connection, their 85 00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:40.600 validation, their love. And it is in that moment that we realize that 86 00:06:40.759 --> 00:06:45.279 validation is something we have to fight for. It is something we have to 87 00:06:45.319 --> 00:06:48.439 get from outside of ourselves. It is something we have to look to the 88 00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:57.360 external world for. When we're growing up and our parent or our coach or 89 00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:01.319 our teacher gives us a compliment, it leases us to the highest of highs. 90 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:05.680 When they tell us we weren't good enough, we didn't do something correctly, 91 00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:14.319 it makes us feel terrible. We learn a program that says you have 92 00:07:14.439 --> 00:07:18.600 to look outside of yourself in order to get this fuzzy feeling of validation. 93 00:07:18.680 --> 00:07:21.680 And in fact, if you're watching on YouTube right now, I'm wearing a 94 00:07:21.720 --> 00:07:27.600 fuzzy sweater because today's about the fuzzy feeling of validation. That is why I'm 95 00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:32.480 doing them. We got the clear message if you want to feel this fuzzy 96 00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:36.480 feeling, if you want to be validated, you gotta look out there, 97 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:45.920 you gotta search for in other people. You rely on others to give you 98 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:49.160 this feeling. And when you get the answer wrong or you don't do what 99 00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:55.279 mom says or dad says, you're gonna get a terrible feeling of this disapproval. 100 00:07:55.560 --> 00:07:58.680 Now, it's not like when we're growing up someone is walking around saying 101 00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:03.839 you're not validated. You are getting disapproved right now. No one's saying that 102 00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:07.199 to us. But it's not that hard for our self as a kid to 103 00:08:07.279 --> 00:08:13.079 come to that conclusion. Anyway. Think about yourself, whether you were in 104 00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:18.360 sports as a kid, and i'm talking ages from five to fourteen. Let's 105 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:22.519 say think about when you were in sports or you were in the classroom. 106 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:26.000 There's a reason that most kids are so afraid to raise their hand. It's 107 00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:31.639 because we're afraid of getting the answer wrong. It's because we don't want to 108 00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:35.720 feel that disapproval. We want to feel validated, we want to feel loved, 109 00:08:35.759 --> 00:08:39.279 we want to feel connection, and when we don't get that connection, 110 00:08:39.320 --> 00:08:41.919 we don't get that approval. We don't get that love, whether someone's saying 111 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:46.120 it to us or not, and most times they're not. We come to 112 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:50.799 the conclusion in our own head as a kid that this feeling sucks and I'm 113 00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:54.279 not good enough, And in order to feel good enough, I need someone 114 00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:58.919 outside of myself to tell me that I am. I need someone to approve 115 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:03.000 of me in order for me to know that I am approved. I mean, 116 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:07.600 we are trained, from babies, throughout being a toddler, throughout being 117 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:11.840 a teenager, that our approval comes outside of ourselves. Think about peer pressure, 118 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:16.679 What is that about who? It's about approval. It's about being validated 119 00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:22.080 by the people around us. We are taught to look for it, and 120 00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:28.639 so we never stop looking for it, but we cannot find the correct things 121 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:33.559 in the wrong places. And that's where we fucked up as humanity. That's 122 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:37.080 where we went wrong. We keep thinking, oh, validations outside of me, 123 00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:39.639 validations outside of me. No, it's not. Now, it's not. 124 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:45.039 You can give validation to yourself. It requires, however, realizing that 125 00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:50.679 you're unconsciously looking for it outside of yourself. It requires coming to terms that 126 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:56.639 I can't keep doing this. I can't keep getting into relationships because I need 127 00:09:56.679 --> 00:09:58.919 someone to validate me, because every time I do that, the relationships suck. 128 00:10:00.679 --> 00:10:03.799 I can't keep looking for validation in my friendships because I never want to 129 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:07.840 do what they're doing, and because I keep morphing myself to be accepted by 130 00:10:07.879 --> 00:10:13.360 them. I hate my life. Take it from someone who's fucking done it. 131 00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:16.519 I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. When I 132 00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:20.480 was growing up, I did every sports camp, every sports team, and 133 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:24.080 I hated it all. But I wanted to feel that validation from my friends. 134 00:10:24.080 --> 00:10:28.559 I wanted to feel that connection, but ultimately it sucked. I hate 135 00:10:28.559 --> 00:10:31.600 it every second of it. I prayed every game would be rained out. 136 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:37.039 I literally remember this is probably how my connection with God started. I would 137 00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:39.240 just pray that every game would be rained out. I was like, please, 138 00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:41.120 God, just don't make us play today. I really don't want to 139 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:46.440 do it. It's something we all do, so reflect on it, reflect 140 00:10:46.519 --> 00:10:50.919 on it, think about it. What are things that I may be doing 141 00:10:50.960 --> 00:10:54.399 subconsciously to get validation from my friends, from my family, from my partner 142 00:10:54.519 --> 00:10:58.720 that I don't want to fucking do anymore? What are my praying doesn't happen 143 00:11:00.399 --> 00:11:03.080 so that I don't have to freaking do it. Maybe I'm not doing it 144 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:09.240 for the right reasons. Now here's something else that can happen, which is 145 00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:15.639 an extra added layer. I recently got a massage and oh my god, 146 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:18.120 it was amazing. Okay, it was amazing. And at the end of 147 00:11:18.120 --> 00:11:24.320 the massage, she was stretching out my neck and she was doing this amazing 148 00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:26.799 I literally told her while I was getting the massage, I was like, 149 00:11:26.840 --> 00:11:28.720 I'm just thinking about how you have magic hands. Thank you so much. 150 00:11:30.480 --> 00:11:31.600 At the end of the massage, she's doing this thing on my neck, 151 00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:37.440 I start hysterically crying. Yep, in the middle of the massage or at 152 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:43.320 the end, I guess I started to hysterically cry and she's probably thinking, 153 00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:46.039 like, am I hurting her? Like what the fuck? Oh, by 154 00:11:46.039 --> 00:11:48.840 the way, this is a couple's massage. So my partner was also there 155 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:54.600 and he looks over and I'm like, I'm crying. He's like it was 156 00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:56.600 like, Cecy, are you okay? Like what's wrong? Like did she 157 00:11:56.759 --> 00:12:00.840 hurt you? Like what's going on? He's like, you're ready to defend 158 00:12:00.840 --> 00:12:03.000 me. I'm like, no, no, no, she didn't hurt me. 159 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:07.120 It was fucking amazing. She didn't hurt me. I go, I 160 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:13.559 just released something that I've been holding in my neck and I realized and I've 161 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.679 realized this before because one time I had a I don't know what to call 162 00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:20.919 it, a disagreement with my mother and I was screaming at her. I 163 00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:22.600 was like, you never hear me, something along those lines of like you 164 00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:28.799 never hear me, you never hear me. And during this massage, when 165 00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:31.879 I started to cry, I just realized, I was like, I've just 166 00:12:31.960 --> 00:12:37.399 for so long have felt the need to be heard, Like I felt for 167 00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:45.360 so long that the things I wasn't the things I was saying wasn't getting through 168 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:50.000 to people, The true intentions behind what I was doing wasn't getting through to 169 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:54.480 people. That for so long I would have to walk on eggshells because I 170 00:12:54.519 --> 00:12:58.919 couldn't make people with louder personalities upset, because then it would be really freaking 171 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:03.759 embarrassing, Like I've had you know that when you go to a restaurant and 172 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:09.240 there's like that one family that's just like fighting really loudly. That's my family. 173 00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:15.200 Hi, nice to meet you, Like that's my family. And so 174 00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:20.679 for so long I would just not say anything because I was so afraid I 175 00:13:20.759 --> 00:13:24.320 was going to trigger someone and it's just my siblings whatever, so afraid I 176 00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:28.799 was going to trigger someone and it would be so embarrassing that everyone had to 177 00:13:28.840 --> 00:13:33.559 look at my family always being the ones fighting, and like, it's embarrassing, 178 00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:37.639 Like regardless of how confident you are, especially as like a kid in 179 00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:41.799 growing up, that that's really embarrassing. And I even remember thinking, like, 180 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:46.440 and I always had people my close friends at my house. Like I 181 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:48.240 had a best friend who I always had at my house because she had a 182 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:54.679 similar situation growing up. But every morning we my alarm clock was essentially people 183 00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:58.879 fighting in my house and I was like, oh, just ignore that and 184 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:01.679 like slammed my door shot. But for such a long time because people were 185 00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:09.320 so loud, I didn't feel heard. And it's like you forget your own 186 00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:13.000 inner child wounds as you start to grow up because there's just so many things 187 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:15.799 in your three D world going on. You have a job, you have 188 00:14:15.879 --> 00:14:18.519 school, you have your internship, you have your friends, and you go 189 00:14:18.639 --> 00:14:22.120 unconscious and something in this massage, whatever she hit, I guess my neck 190 00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:26.600 was holding onto emotions, which I know because I have a thing with my 191 00:14:26.679 --> 00:14:31.200 thyroid. And I just cried and released it and it felt so good. 192 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:39.600 The need to feel heard that is also a need for validation, and I 193 00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:45.399 think we don't really talk about that. There are needs of being understood, 194 00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:48.519 and that one I feel like I've gotten the best handle on the need to 195 00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:52.720 be heard. That one I feel like I am currently working on through subconscious 196 00:14:52.720 --> 00:14:56.879 healing and in our child's healing, and the need to be seen, the 197 00:14:56.919 --> 00:15:01.519 need to be loved, the need for connection, the need for validation, 198 00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:05.360 of course, which is what we're really talking about today. To me, 199 00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:09.440 these are all one and the same. The need for you to be understood 200 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:13.279 is really similar to you needing validation. The need for you to be heard 201 00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:18.720 is really similar for you needing validation. And for such a long time I 202 00:15:18.759 --> 00:15:22.799 was thinking that in order to be heard, that's not needing validation. That's 203 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:26.759 different like needing to be heard. I need that other person to see where 204 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:30.120 I'm coming from, and I need them to hear me. I need them 205 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:33.080 to hear my words, because for so long I felt like I haven't been 206 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:37.159 heard. And what I realized in that moment, what God really showed me, 207 00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:43.120 is that CC I am God, and I've always heard you. I've 208 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:48.559 always heard you. I've heard every prayer, I've heard every cry, I've 209 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:54.039 heard every scream, I've heard every hurt. I've heard every celebration, I've 210 00:15:54.039 --> 00:16:00.759 heard every intention and in that moment, and it makes me emotional now because 211 00:16:00.840 --> 00:16:06.039 not only has God and my spirit team always been there for me, always 212 00:16:06.200 --> 00:16:11.200 have heard me throughout everything, but God also showed me and CC you know 213 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:15.120 who else heard you? You did? You did, And that's what matters. 214 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:22.399 That's what truly matters. You hearing yourself because when you give yourself validation, 215 00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:26.519 when you hear yourself out, when you understand you you don't need it 216 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:30.480 from those other people, you feel confident, you feel fulfilled, you feel 217 00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:37.320 free. God is always gonna be there for us, always validating our experience 218 00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:44.360 because we made a contract with God about this experience. God is always going 219 00:16:44.440 --> 00:16:48.320 to be there with us. And I feel like I need to take a 220 00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:52.679 side note here before we really get into the validation stuff to talk about God. 221 00:16:53.440 --> 00:16:56.320 I know God can be a tricky subject for a lot of people because 222 00:16:56.320 --> 00:17:00.720 some people literally have trauma with the church and with word God. I understand 223 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:07.480 that. I want to take a side note here and just say the way 224 00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:12.880 I truly connected to God was by screaming at him when my mom dragged me 225 00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:15.240 to a chapel because I was just crying every single day. She's like, 226 00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:19.720 bitch, we gotta get you to the chapel, crying and screaming at God. 227 00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:22.839 I feel lost. I don't know what's going on. A fucking knack. 228 00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:26.680 That was me. That was me just screaming and cursing. Probably not 229 00:17:26.759 --> 00:17:30.960 the best thing to do, but I was just losing my shit. Okay, 230 00:17:32.279 --> 00:17:37.680 that's how that's how I felt. I just encourage you. If that's 231 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:41.480 how you're feeling, talk to God. Because after my mom dragged me to 232 00:17:41.519 --> 00:17:45.799 the chapel, within two days I believe it was two days. It was 233 00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:49.519 definitely the same week. Two days I got my answers. My whole entire 234 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:53.599 life shifted, and then I was like, oh shit, damn, God 235 00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:57.400 really does exist. Like you don't need to hear me preach about God. 236 00:17:57.480 --> 00:18:00.559 I'm not going to convince you God exist. I can't. That's not that 237 00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:04.839 I couldn't convince you if I tried. But all I encourage you to do 238 00:18:06.359 --> 00:18:11.839 is to find your conviction through yourself. Talk to God, Tell God what's 239 00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:15.359 going on, Tell your spirit team what's going on, your angels. They 240 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:19.480 will respond to you. I like, it's just funny because I always felt 241 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:23.480 like really misunderstood, you know, growing up and like my intentions were not 242 00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:27.480 heard clearly. But you know who always understood me? God, You know 243 00:18:27.519 --> 00:18:33.240 who always answers me. God. I don't always get an answer from you 244 00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:36.720 know, a long lost friend, or I didn't get the connections I wanted 245 00:18:36.759 --> 00:18:38.200 really growing up, I lost a lot of people who I used to be 246 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:41.880 close with. You know who stayed God. So I just have a side 247 00:18:41.880 --> 00:18:45.599 note of saying, you don't need to believe me. I'm not going to 248 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:48.799 try to convince you. That's a waste of my time in your time. 249 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:52.319 I just encourage you start screaming at God, start screaming out, okay, 250 00:18:52.359 --> 00:18:55.880 because God will hear you. You'll get your answers. Your life is going 251 00:18:55.920 --> 00:19:00.200 to change. It just will, okay, anyway, baccinating valid. So 252 00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:04.319 what I realized in this moment is not only did God always hear me, 253 00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:10.680 my angels always hear me, but there was me. There was me. 254 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:15.920 I have always heard myself. I've always known what I've intended to do. 255 00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:22.119 I've always known how I've felt. So if someone is going to stand up 256 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:26.519 for me, if someone's going to hear me, it's got to be me. 257 00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:30.359 Now, what I was doing is. I would hear my true intentions. 258 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:33.200 I would hear, oh CEC, I don't actually want to do these 259 00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:37.279 sports, but I would ignore my own feelings. I would ignore my own 260 00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:44.279 thoughts, I would ignore my own desires because I valued getting other people's validation 261 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:49.759 more than I valued being happy. I have always heard myself, but I 262 00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:56.160 have not always listened to myself. And there's the difference. I've always heard 263 00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:59.920 what I've truly wanted, what I truly desired, what I truly intended. 264 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:03.799 But I let all of that pass by my wayside, and I valued how 265 00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:10.400 other people were perceiving me more. Because I valued getting that fuzzy, warm 266 00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:14.720 feeling outside of myself more than I valued getting it from myself. I didn't 267 00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:18.960 realize how much happier I could be if I just started listening to myself. 268 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:22.359 And that's why I'm here to tell you you got to start listening to yourself. 269 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:26.119 I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again. 270 00:20:26.519 --> 00:20:29.880 There was one time when I was doing inner minute fasting, and for whatever 271 00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:32.960 reason, it turned to be like five PM and the day got away from 272 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:34.160 me. I didn't get to eat, I was out all day. I 273 00:20:34.279 --> 00:20:40.160 ran to the supermarket to get food, and I just started buying everything things 274 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:42.359 I was allergic to things. I would never eat things that were gluten I 275 00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:45.079 think I was vegan at the time. I was probably buying things un vegan. 276 00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:48.759 I was just buying everything. When I got home and I looked at 277 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:52.839 what I bought, I thought to myself, what did I just Why did 278 00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:56.559 I spend money on this? What was I thinking? Why would I buy 279 00:20:56.599 --> 00:21:03.200 this food I'm literally not going to eat. Is so crazed, so starving 280 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.880 for something outside of myself with this food that when I got to the grocery 281 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:10.319 store, I lowered my boundaries, I lowered my values, I forgot all 282 00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:15.880 of my core beliefs, and I just bought everything. Now apply this to 283 00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:22.200 energy. When we are starving for validation, for love, for connection, 284 00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:26.799 we will drop our boundaries, our standards, our needs, our requirements, 285 00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:32.000 our beliefs, our everything. We will drop it all because we're so hungry 286 00:21:32.039 --> 00:21:36.680 for that thing outside of ourself. If I would have fed myself food that 287 00:21:36.759 --> 00:21:40.039 day, I wouldn't have been so hungry, and I wouldn't have dropped my 288 00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:41.960 boundaries and my standards, and I wouldn't have let in a bunch of shit 289 00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:48.200 that I didn't actually want. When we give ourselves validation love, we acknowledge 290 00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:52.319 ourself we're not going to be starving for all of those things outside of ourselves 291 00:21:52.519 --> 00:21:59.000 because we're already feeding ourselves. We're already taking care of ourselves. Think about 292 00:21:59.079 --> 00:22:03.160 on an airplane, who do you have to put the oxygen mask on first? 293 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:07.839 You? You have to take care of yourself first before you start taking 294 00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:11.880 care of other people, before you even allow your attention to go to other 295 00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:17.200 people, because if you don't, If you don't, you're not going to 296 00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:21.640 be able to be happy. And I think we all know a martyr in 297 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:25.720 our life, and we know that their happiness of helping others is very fucking 298 00:22:25.720 --> 00:22:29.960 fleeting. We know that their happiness is very unstable because it's all reliant on 299 00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:37.119 that other person. We know that modyrdom is not the way. The pedestal 300 00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:41.359 path is the way. And if you want to learn more about placing yourself 301 00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:45.759 on the pedestal, join the pedestal path course. Now, how can we 302 00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:51.119 start to give ourselves this validation because we know we've been trained to look at 303 00:22:51.160 --> 00:22:55.359 it from outside of ourselves and try to get it. We know that that 304 00:22:55.440 --> 00:23:03.000 feeling sucks. So how can we start to revenge our relationship to validation. 305 00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:07.480 How can we start to feed ourselves. The first thing is the easiest thing. 306 00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:10.960 It's just an affirmation I'm going to give you. And what it is 307 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:15.359 is I release the need for validation from others, or I release the need 308 00:23:15.559 --> 00:23:22.880 for external validation. You might not know the exact incident or circumstance that has 309 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:27.240 caused you to need validation from others. When you use the affirmation, I 310 00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:32.960 release the need for external validation. You don't have to know the cause, 311 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:36.240 you don't need to know the route. The mantra will take care of that 312 00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:41.839 for you. So the first thing is just using the affirmation, I release 313 00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:47.359 the need for external validation, and that's going to start helping you energetically and 314 00:23:47.400 --> 00:23:53.880 subconsciously releasing that hunger, that starvation for this feeling outside of yourself. Now, 315 00:23:53.880 --> 00:23:57.240 I want you to do a visualization with me. Okay, if you're 316 00:23:57.319 --> 00:24:00.920 driving, keep your eyes open. If you're doing a workout, obviously keep 317 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:03.839 your eyes open. But if you can take a pause from what you're doing 318 00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:07.279 right now and you can close your eyes, I invite you to close your 319 00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:14.160 eyes for this exercise. I want you to just take a deep breath in 320 00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:19.799 through your nose and let it out out through your mouth. And I want 321 00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:26.279 you to just visualize your younger self a couple of feet in front of you. 322 00:24:27.240 --> 00:24:33.119 Look at your big, beautiful eyes. You can see your pure innocence, 323 00:24:34.400 --> 00:24:38.240 whatever age you want to imagine, just you as your younger self, 324 00:24:40.559 --> 00:24:45.000 and you can see that your younger self has so much positive energy, and 325 00:24:45.119 --> 00:24:49.240 has so much excitement about the world, and has so much awe and wonder 326 00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:56.319 about all the beautiful things that can unfold for them. And I want you 327 00:24:56.359 --> 00:25:00.720 to just introduce yourself as your adult self right now, tell them who you 328 00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:07.720 are. And now I want you to tell your younger self something you have 329 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:15.559 accomplished, something that you did that you know your younger self would be so 330 00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:22.599 proud of. I want you to tell your younger self a win that you've 331 00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:26.480 had, whether it was getting the promotion, or getting a new job, 332 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:30.480 or getting into college, or even you got up today you cooked yourself a 333 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:36.480 really good meal. I want you to express this to your younger self. 334 00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:45.599 See how your younger self is so happy for you. Their eyes grow even 335 00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:51.039 wider, even bigger. They're looking up at you like you are a mega 336 00:25:51.319 --> 00:26:00.720 superstar. They're looking up at you in pure, pure happiness. They're looking 337 00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:07.440 up at you like you are the end all and be all, and embrace 338 00:26:07.559 --> 00:26:12.559 this younger version of yourself. Give them a hug, celebrate your win, 339 00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:18.200 and I want you to realize in this moment, how proud of yourself you 340 00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:25.119 truly are, how proud of yourself you really are, how much you can 341 00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:30.480 actually validate yourself, And when you're ready, you can open up your eyes. 342 00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:38.240 That feeling that you just felt you can give to yourself at any time 343 00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:45.319 of the day. You can give to yourself every day. What we just 344 00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:51.200 did is we prove to ourselves that we are capable of giving ourself validation. 345 00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:56.160 What we just did is prove to ourselves that we are capable of filling up 346 00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:00.119 our own cup and it feeling good. What we just did is realize so 347 00:27:00.279 --> 00:27:04.079 we can celebrate ourselves and we're actually fucking proud of the accomplishments that we have 348 00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:10.880 created in our life. If you like to that exercise, I invite you 349 00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:15.680 to after this podcast, maybe tonight or tomorrow, write a letter to your 350 00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:19.599 inner child and make them a list of all the positive things or changes that 351 00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:25.440 you've made in your life. Maybe you have let in one toxic person after 352 00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:27.759 the other. Tell your inner child, your younger self, how you just 353 00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:32.799 broke that habit you started listening to that bitch is positive, and suddenly you're 354 00:27:32.799 --> 00:27:36.799 a positive bitch. Tell them about all the things that you have accomplished. 355 00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:42.799 Connect with them. A lot of the programming we have comes from our inner 356 00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:47.839 child, from our younger self. So if we go straight to the root 357 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:52.079 and make that connection with our inner child, we're going to make a lot 358 00:27:52.160 --> 00:28:00.359 of changes really quickly, really quickly. Now Here are are some quick tips 359 00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:06.640 that you can use to start validating yourself. I've talked about this before, 360 00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:14.960 but when you make a mistake, it's so easy to just jump to all 361 00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:18.640 the criticisms that you've heard about yourself growing up. If you make a mistake, 362 00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:22.039 it's so easy to say, oh, I'm so stupid. But you 363 00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:27.240 are not born feeling stupid. You were not born believing you were stupid stupid. 364 00:28:27.640 --> 00:28:32.599 You are born being all loving, all confident, all magnetic. So 365 00:28:32.759 --> 00:28:38.200 thinking that you're stupid, well, that's a learned behavior. Your inner critic. 366 00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:44.440 How was that inner critic created? Your inner critic was created from the 367 00:28:44.599 --> 00:28:51.000 external critics you had around you growing up, and those external criticisms have been 368 00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:56.359 internalized and now they're on replay twenty four seven. Now this is up to 369 00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:02.519 you. Do you want your external critics from your past to control your current 370 00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:07.279 lifestyle, your current success. Do you want the people who have hurt you 371 00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:14.559 in your past to still have control over you today? I think not so. 372 00:29:14.599 --> 00:29:18.079 The first step to really taking our power back, or maybe not the 373 00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:22.279 first step because we've already talked about too, But the third step that we're 374 00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:26.920 going to talk about is working alongside your inner critic and healing your inner critic 375 00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:32.720 to the light. How do we heal our inner critic. We start to 376 00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:37.480 engage with our inner critic, because anything we run from will chase us. 377 00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:41.759 We're not going to run from our darkness. We're not going to be in 378 00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:45.599 denial of our darkness. We're going to communicate with our darkness. We're gonna 379 00:29:45.720 --> 00:29:52.079 dance with our darkness. So when your inner critic starts to chirp away, 380 00:29:52.119 --> 00:29:59.240 instead of you agreeing with your internal critic and identifying with your internal critic and 381 00:29:59.359 --> 00:30:03.119 thinking that you are your internal critic, we're gonna create some separation. We're 382 00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:08.640 gonna create some room between what you're thinking and who you are because you are 383 00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:15.640 not your thoughts, and you're certainly not your negative thoughts. Those criticisms are 384 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:21.240 not yours, so why are you believing them? Don't let someone else's projection 385 00:30:21.559 --> 00:30:27.519 become your prediction. It's time to release ourselves from these external criticisms that we 386 00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:33.200 don't even really believe. They just happen to be on AutoPlay because that is 387 00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:37.079 how our brain works. So what you're gonna do the next time you hear 388 00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:41.960 your inner critic First of all, we're gonna name them. I name mine 389 00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:45.920 Sheila. Anytime I hear Mine talking bad about me, I'm like, Sheila, 390 00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.359 girl, you are funny, but I'm not letting you bring me down 391 00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:53.200 today. I don't care if you call your negative thoughts the devil Sheila Santa 392 00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:57.599 Claus, I don't care, but I need you to start realizing that this 393 00:30:57.799 --> 00:31:03.799 inner roommates, these thoughts, are not you. The first step of moving 394 00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:07.519 away from our negative thoughts is to realize that they are not us and we 395 00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:18.000 are not them. Depersonalize these thoughts. That's it, that's it. We're 396 00:31:18.039 --> 00:31:25.480 going to unconnect with these thoughts. We're gonna unconnect from thinking that they're ours 397 00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:29.160 and us because they're not. So what do you want to name your inner 398 00:31:29.160 --> 00:31:33.480 critic? Now? When your inner critic comes up and starts talking to you. 399 00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:37.480 The second part of this is instead of agreeing with your inner critic or 400 00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:38.279 being like, oh, yeah I am, I'm such a dumb bitch, 401 00:31:38.519 --> 00:31:45.920 instead of doing that, what you're gonna do is say, oh, that's 402 00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:52.359 so silly. That's silly. When we get annoyed or upset or angry at 403 00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:56.039 ourselves, there's gonna be this surge of energy. Now today, I don't 404 00:31:56.079 --> 00:32:00.319 like loud noises, and when there's a vacuum going off or like a really 405 00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:05.400 loud noise when I'm trying to do something, it makes my brain do just 406 00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:12.079 weird things like I can't. So there was that happening today whereas trying to 407 00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:15.160 eat my food in peace and there was a really loud noise going off and 408 00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:21.200 it was driving me cray cray. And instead of allowing myself to get upset 409 00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:23.119 now I didn't have like a negative thought of hatred towards myself, but instead 410 00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:27.240 of allowing myself to get upset, I started laughing. I was like, 411 00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:30.880 of course this is happening the second I eat my food, like of course, 412 00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:35.480 when I need peace the most to digest. Of course, the loud 413 00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:39.240 noise happens, and I laughed about it. So whether you're having a surge 414 00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:46.279 of negative energy thoughts about yourself or a surge of angryness surging through your body, 415 00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:51.599 because I was literally me today, laugh it off, laugh it off. 416 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:57.039 Laughter is truly the best medicine. I cannot recommend enough watching a comedy 417 00:32:57.079 --> 00:32:59.480 before you go to bed. If you're a reader, go off and read 418 00:33:00.200 --> 00:33:01.920 to put me to sleep. I like to watch something, and I've been 419 00:33:01.960 --> 00:33:08.000 watching The Mindy Project. Oh my god, what an amazing freaking show. 420 00:33:08.079 --> 00:33:13.640 You gotta watch the Mindy Project. You gotta watch them Indie Project anyway, 421 00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:16.039 and I started watching Love Is Blind too, which is just always making me 422 00:33:16.119 --> 00:33:20.200 laugh. And of course married at first at Australia, another one of my 423 00:33:20.200 --> 00:33:22.920 faves. If you don't know, I went to school and part of my 424 00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:29.920 major was film and television, so I am a huge I love some TV 425 00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:31.559 programs like the News. I'm like, no, I wouldn't do that, 426 00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:37.079 But I love reality television. I love all that stuff, and you never 427 00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:42.039 know, maybe I will create a reality show myself one day. Of course 428 00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:45.759 I will have healing and positive programs in it. But anyway, if you're 429 00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:47.519 like, that's so weird that you watch all this TV, well I fucking 430 00:33:47.559 --> 00:33:50.880 love it and I came here to be human, so I'm gonna keep doing 431 00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:54.440 it anyway. So we're gonna laugh off the inner critic. And when you 432 00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:59.400 laugh at your inner critic, you don't give it control over you. If 433 00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:02.359 my inner critics starts going off, and I believe it, well, now 434 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:07.359 those past critics have control over me. Well, now that in our critic 435 00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:12.760 has control over me too. But if I laugh it off says what no, 436 00:34:12.880 --> 00:34:15.199 it's not gonna work, it's not gonna work. That puts the control 437 00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:19.920 back into my hands. Now I'm not gonna laugh it off and be like, 438 00:34:19.960 --> 00:34:23.639 oh, I'm so stupid. No, I'm like, ha stilling me. 439 00:34:23.800 --> 00:34:28.519 Oh, Sheila, you're really on one today, but trying to get 440 00:34:28.559 --> 00:34:32.880 me again because you can't. You can't. I won CC one Sheila zero, 441 00:34:34.199 --> 00:34:37.400 okay, and you're just gonna laugh it off. Funny, Sheila, 442 00:34:37.039 --> 00:34:42.880 Funny, you thought you could try me today, failed, failed, failed, 443 00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:45.079 I'm winning. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. Even 444 00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:50.000 if so my cousin the other days I said something and we're talking about something, 445 00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:52.599 She's like, yeah, no, I won't subscribe to that. I 446 00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:57.360 love that. I love that. So if you have a negative thought about 447 00:34:57.360 --> 00:35:01.599 yourself where you think you need validation and from someone, or you're starving yourself 448 00:35:01.639 --> 00:35:06.559 from validation, just be like, I don't subscribe to that thought. I 449 00:35:06.599 --> 00:35:12.199 don't claim that thought. I don't subscribe to this negative programming that I need 450 00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:16.440 other people to validate me. I don't subscribe to this negative programming of feeling 451 00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:20.960 not good about myself. I unsubscribe and just don't subscribe from it. I 452 00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.239 just thought that was so funny. Now, how do we start to validate 453 00:35:23.239 --> 00:35:28.519 ourselves? There are so many ways you can celebrate your big and little winds. 454 00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:31.960 Whether it's making a cup of tea or you got promoted, celebrate it. 455 00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:36.800 Your self talk is so important because it's what you hear twenty four seven. 456 00:35:37.159 --> 00:35:40.599 Celebrate your big and little wins. Another thing you can do is literally 457 00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:45.000 have affirmations and put them somewhere you're going to see them every single day, 458 00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.800 whether it's the back of your phone or on the wall. I feel like, 459 00:35:50.039 --> 00:35:52.719 where should I put my affirmations. I put them inside my mirror where 460 00:35:52.760 --> 00:35:55.679 I go to open my mirror every single day to get my teeth paste. 461 00:35:57.039 --> 00:36:00.639 And then I put my affirmations on my phone. I have widgets and there's 462 00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:05.079 affirmations there. Your affirmations won't work unless you're working them. Put them in 463 00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:07.840 places where you are going to see them. How else can you validate yourself? 464 00:36:08.159 --> 00:36:13.480 When you're feeling a negative emotion, let it the fuck out. For 465 00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:15.920 most of my life, I've been told I'm too sensitive, YadA, YadA, 466 00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:19.320 YadA. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Okay, So 467 00:36:19.519 --> 00:36:22.199 I used to think that I had to shove down my emotions. I used 468 00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:23.480 to cover my face when I would cry. I used to pretend like I 469 00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:28.239 didn't feel anything. Look, pretending like you have no emotions is not a 470 00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:30.360 flex It's a sign you have a lot of trauma. Okay. When you 471 00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:35.360 want to validate yourself, the best way to validate yourself is to allow yourself 472 00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:37.760 a safe space to let your emotions out. How can you let your emotions 473 00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:43.400 out? Journal about them, cry about them. If you're having trouble evoking 474 00:36:43.480 --> 00:36:45.800 your own emotions. This is something I say in the twenty one Day break 475 00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:51.840 up globe challenge, watch reality dating television. There is bound to be someone 476 00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:54.000 who's going to cry and have a mental break, not down, but through. 477 00:36:54.639 --> 00:36:58.519 You will cry with them, or put on a sad movie and cry 478 00:36:58.519 --> 00:37:01.199 with the movie. If you don't know how to evoke your own emotions, 479 00:37:01.239 --> 00:37:06.719 put something on that's gonna make you cry and let it out, let it 480 00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:09.480 out. I will set aside twenty five forty five minutes for me to just 481 00:37:09.559 --> 00:37:13.920 cry, journal about my emotions and let it out, and then I feel 482 00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:16.760 so much better. It's like oiling the wheel. You just gotta let that 483 00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:21.199 water out. Because so many think I'm gonna so many people think I'm not 484 00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:23.280 gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. Your crying 485 00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:29.840 is what allows you to feel better. It's alchemizing your pain into power. 486 00:37:30.880 --> 00:37:35.800 Let it be there, Let it be there. Another amazing way to validate 487 00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:39.519 yourself is to find a strain that serves you. And every time you find 488 00:37:39.679 --> 00:37:44.079 this strain, so maybe it's working out finding a strain that serves you. 489 00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:45.159 I say it a lot, so I assume you know what I'm talking about, 490 00:37:45.159 --> 00:37:50.320 but I should explain finding a strain that serves you means you choose something 491 00:37:50.320 --> 00:37:52.920 that's not the easiest for you to do, but you do it anyway. 492 00:37:52.119 --> 00:37:55.840 So maybe it's running or walking, or creating a TikTok every single day, 493 00:37:55.960 --> 00:38:00.840 or reading a book or learning quantum physics, and you engage with that difficult 494 00:38:00.840 --> 00:38:05.280 behavior and you prove to yourself, Wow, I am more powerful than I 495 00:38:05.320 --> 00:38:09.519 thought. That's another amazing way to validate yourself. I'm all about living a 496 00:38:09.559 --> 00:38:14.519 soft life, but I truly believe that there are certain seasons that you're gonna 497 00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:17.480 have to fight, and there's certain seasons that you have to flow. So 498 00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:22.000 find something to fight for and make that fight for you, Make that fight 499 00:38:22.039 --> 00:38:25.159 for you. What is something I can fight for? I can fight to 500 00:38:25.239 --> 00:38:29.920 validate myself. What can I choose that's going to be a strain to serve 501 00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:34.519 me? And how can I start weaving that into my weekly schedule. I 502 00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:37.119 promise you, it's going to change how you see yourself. It's gonna change 503 00:38:37.119 --> 00:38:45.360 how you feel about yourself, it's gonna change your life. Now. I 504 00:38:45.400 --> 00:38:50.039 feel that a huge part of me validating me has been just talking to God 505 00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:53.440 and creating space for me to talk to God. Now, if you like 506 00:38:53.519 --> 00:38:58.920 your traditional prayers, do your traditional prayers for me. I like to just 507 00:38:59.079 --> 00:39:05.360 talk to God and create space for conversation with the divine. And I think 508 00:39:05.440 --> 00:39:07.760 that a lot of us might be good at talking, but I don't know 509 00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:13.239 how good we are at listening. If you want to start to validate yourself, 510 00:39:13.880 --> 00:39:17.960 create space to not only hear yourself through meditation, but to hear the 511 00:39:19.039 --> 00:39:23.639 divine. I love my prayers. Prayers is talking, prayers is asking, 512 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:30.039 Meditation is when you receive. I want you to start creating space where you 513 00:39:30.079 --> 00:39:32.760 put on a healing frequency and you just listen to yourself. You just let 514 00:39:32.920 --> 00:39:38.159 divine inspiration channel through your body. Maybe God has a message for you, 515 00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:43.199 your spirit gods have a message for you, or maybe your subconscious mind has 516 00:39:43.199 --> 00:39:45.960 a message for you. But you can't validate you. You can't hear you 517 00:39:46.280 --> 00:39:51.519 if you don't create space to listen. I had to go to this massage 518 00:39:51.559 --> 00:39:54.840 and have fifteen minutes of silence for her to do something to my neck and 519 00:39:54.920 --> 00:40:00.559 for me to hear something that I wasn't listening to because, like I said, 520 00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:05.239 we can always hear ourselves, but it doesn't mean we're listening. You 521 00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:09.760 have to create space to hear yourself and then step two is listening to your 522 00:40:09.800 --> 00:40:15.119 true desires act on them. If you really hate sports, stop playing them. 523 00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:20.400 If you want to build up trust and validation with yourself, you can't 524 00:40:20.440 --> 00:40:22.519 just be like, oh, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. No, 525 00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:24.679 you need to create space to hear yourself, and then you need to 526 00:40:24.719 --> 00:40:30.360 actually listen to what it is you're saying. If you feel like going out 527 00:40:30.360 --> 00:40:32.760 and blacking out every single weekend isn't serving you anymore. I don't want you 528 00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:36.440 to just hear that. I need you to listen. I need you to 529 00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:39.199 sit in meditation and hear what it is you need to do next. Because 530 00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:43.360 I can guide you, but I can't tell you everything exactly that you need 531 00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:46.480 for your path. That's your job. That's your job to find that out. 532 00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:52.039 So I want you, in order to start validating yourself, it's to 533 00:40:52.119 --> 00:40:55.559 not only hear yourself, but create space to listen and act on it and 534 00:40:55.760 --> 00:41:02.320 start following your true, authentic vibration. I think that if you are into 535 00:41:02.360 --> 00:41:07.239 prayer, an amazing thing you can do. The specific way to pray about 536 00:41:07.239 --> 00:41:14.239 this is to ask God to change your heart's desires. Ask God change my 537 00:41:14.360 --> 00:41:19.360 heart's desire instead of me needing or feeling like I need people to validate me 538 00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:23.639 outside of myself. God show me how to validate me. Change my heart's 539 00:41:23.679 --> 00:41:28.960 desire that I don't even care about their validation anymore. Change my heart's desire 540 00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:32.199 so that I only care about me validating me. Ask God to change your 541 00:41:32.199 --> 00:41:36.039 heart. There have been things that I'm like, I am so dead set 542 00:41:36.119 --> 00:41:39.280 on and then God changes my heart and I'm like and a girl did not 543 00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:44.880 care anymore. Ask God to change your heart and you will be shook at 544 00:41:44.920 --> 00:41:47.760 the results. If this podcast resonated with you, please share it with a 545 00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:52.280 friend or a family member. You never know who may need to learn how 546 00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:55.039 to validate themselves. And if you enjoyed it, please leave a positive review 547 00:41:55.079 --> 00:41:59.960 on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Follow me a vibe with CC so you can 548 00:42:00.079 --> 00:42:04.960 suggest topics for this very podcast. Right now, I want spooky topics for 549 00:42:05.599 --> 00:42:07.920 the month of October. You know, every October we do a spooky subject 550 00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:12.800 and by spooky we talk about negative energy entities, et cetera. But what 551 00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:15.920 do you want to hear about? Let me know. The Sparkling Meat Honors 552 00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:27.840 is sparkling you and I will see you in the next one. Changes can 553 00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:47.119 change? Can such me, can such me