I'm sorrygies. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today?
If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, so keep
listening. I'm that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times
a baby girl, We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling
our most empowered positive bitch self. That is baby in true connection with herself.
On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully
step into exactly who we came to planet to be. Can I get a
name? Men? Today? Waha ha ha ha. We are talking about
validaean who is Why do we crave her? And how can we get her
and give it to ourself? That is what we're going to be talking about
today. A lot of us have been trained, if not all of us,
have been trained to look to receive validation from others, and that is
just a faulty program that we need to unlearn and rewire. Not only are
we going to unlearn needing validation from others, but we're gonna learn how to
give that ship to ourselves, because that is what life and being connected to
ourself is truly about. We're going to talk all things validation to day,
But Dan Senta before we get into it, you know, I have a
couple of announcements to give you. If you have not yet tried Magic Mind,
Sis, what are you doing? Magic Mind is my little magic in
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and these other pre workouts. Plus all the ingredients are really clean. We
have ashraganda helps reduce stress and anxiety. We got a little bit of lines
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That will be in the show notes and we can talk there about how
it can help you. Okay, without further ado, let's get into today's
episode. Why do we crave validation? Why do we want it? What
the fuck is up with validation? Let's talk about it. So here's the
thing. We're born, cool, awesome, Thanks mom and dad, good
job. We're born. And when we're a baby, everyone's ooing and eyeing
at us. Oh my god, you're a baby. You're so cool and
awesome. So naturally we get all this attention when we're born. Everyone's obsessed.
Is being a baby the ultimate form of being on your pedestal? Now
that I think about it, holy shit, it totally is. When you're
a baby, you literally don't have to do anything. In fact, you
can cry all day, throw temper tantrums and everyone will still be obsessed with
you. Okay, I think that being a baby is the ultimate form of
being on your pedestal. I mean, you get all of your needs met,
you have people doting on you, and people are obsessed, always paying
attention to you. Anyway more, All of the story here is that when
we're a baby, everyone's ooing and eyeing at us, everyone's giving us all
their attention, everyone is in love with us. We go to a party
and everyone's like, look at my baby, And people look at you like
you are Jesus Christ himself. They are obsessed. Now something funny starts to
happen. As you may have noticed about yourself, is we grow up,
oh pure, pretty high, Oh being a teenager, Oh being a young
adult, Oh being an adult, and people stop ooing andnawing at us.
What happened? Were almost obsessed with me, and now they're not. Everyone
was giving me that validation and now they're not. As a toddler, we
instinctively know in order to survive, we need our parent or caregivers attention and
affection. To survive, we need their affection, we need their love.
We need their connection. Who's going to pay the bill, who's going to
give us clothing and food, Who's going to take care of us? So
we instinctively know, okay, I'm not getting the ooh an eweing effect anymore.
What do I have to do in order to get their connection, their
validation, their love. And it is in that moment that we realize that
validation is something we have to fight for. It is something we have to
get from outside of ourselves. It is something we have to look to the
external world for. When we're growing up and our parent or our coach or
our teacher gives us a compliment, it leases us to the highest of highs.
When they tell us we weren't good enough, we didn't do something correctly,
it makes us feel terrible. We learn a program that says you have
to look outside of yourself in order to get this fuzzy feeling of validation.
And in fact, if you're watching on YouTube right now, I'm wearing a
fuzzy sweater because today's about the fuzzy feeling of validation. That is why I'm
doing them. We got the clear message if you want to feel this fuzzy
feeling, if you want to be validated, you gotta look out there,
you gotta search for in other people. You rely on others to give you
this feeling. And when you get the answer wrong or you don't do what
mom says or dad says, you're gonna get a terrible feeling of this disapproval.
Now, it's not like when we're growing up someone is walking around saying
you're not validated. You are getting disapproved right now. No one's saying that
to us. But it's not that hard for our self as a kid to
come to that conclusion. Anyway. Think about yourself, whether you were in
sports as a kid, and i'm talking ages from five to fourteen. Let's
say think about when you were in sports or you were in the classroom.
There's a reason that most kids are so afraid to raise their hand. It's
because we're afraid of getting the answer wrong. It's because we don't want to
feel that disapproval. We want to feel validated, we want to feel loved,
we want to feel connection, and when we don't get that connection,
we don't get that approval. We don't get that love, whether someone's saying
it to us or not, and most times they're not. We come to
the conclusion in our own head as a kid that this feeling sucks and I'm
not good enough, And in order to feel good enough, I need someone
outside of myself to tell me that I am. I need someone to approve
of me in order for me to know that I am approved. I mean,
we are trained, from babies, throughout being a toddler, throughout being
a teenager, that our approval comes outside of ourselves. Think about peer pressure,
What is that about who? It's about approval. It's about being validated
by the people around us. We are taught to look for it, and
so we never stop looking for it, but we cannot find the correct things
in the wrong places. And that's where we fucked up as humanity. That's
where we went wrong. We keep thinking, oh, validations outside of me,
validations outside of me. No, it's not. Now, it's not.
You can give validation to yourself. It requires, however, realizing that
you're unconsciously looking for it outside of yourself. It requires coming to terms that
I can't keep doing this. I can't keep getting into relationships because I need
someone to validate me, because every time I do that, the relationships suck.
I can't keep looking for validation in my friendships because I never want to
do what they're doing, and because I keep morphing myself to be accepted by
them. I hate my life. Take it from someone who's fucking done it.
I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. When I
was growing up, I did every sports camp, every sports team, and
I hated it all. But I wanted to feel that validation from my friends.
I wanted to feel that connection, but ultimately it sucked. I hate
it every second of it. I prayed every game would be rained out.
I literally remember this is probably how my connection with God started. I would
just pray that every game would be rained out. I was like, please,
God, just don't make us play today. I really don't want to
do it. It's something we all do, so reflect on it, reflect
on it, think about it. What are things that I may be doing
subconsciously to get validation from my friends, from my family, from my partner
that I don't want to fucking do anymore? What are my praying doesn't happen
so that I don't have to freaking do it. Maybe I'm not doing it
for the right reasons. Now here's something else that can happen, which is
an extra added layer. I recently got a massage and oh my god,
it was amazing. Okay, it was amazing. And at the end of
the massage, she was stretching out my neck and she was doing this amazing
I literally told her while I was getting the massage, I was like,
I'm just thinking about how you have magic hands. Thank you so much.
At the end of the massage, she's doing this thing on my neck,
I start hysterically crying. Yep, in the middle of the massage or at
the end, I guess I started to hysterically cry and she's probably thinking,
like, am I hurting her? Like what the fuck? Oh, by
the way, this is a couple's massage. So my partner was also there
and he looks over and I'm like, I'm crying. He's like it was
like, Cecy, are you okay? Like what's wrong? Like did she
hurt you? Like what's going on? He's like, you're ready to defend
me. I'm like, no, no, no, she didn't hurt me.
It was fucking amazing. She didn't hurt me. I go, I
just released something that I've been holding in my neck and I realized and I've
realized this before because one time I had a I don't know what to call
it, a disagreement with my mother and I was screaming at her. I
was like, you never hear me, something along those lines of like you
never hear me, you never hear me. And during this massage, when
I started to cry, I just realized, I was like, I've just
for so long have felt the need to be heard, Like I felt for
so long that the things I wasn't the things I was saying wasn't getting through
to people, The true intentions behind what I was doing wasn't getting through to
people. That for so long I would have to walk on eggshells because I
couldn't make people with louder personalities upset, because then it would be really freaking
embarrassing, Like I've had you know that when you go to a restaurant and
there's like that one family that's just like fighting really loudly. That's my family.
Hi, nice to meet you, Like that's my family. And so
for so long I would just not say anything because I was so afraid I
was going to trigger someone and it's just my siblings whatever, so afraid I
was going to trigger someone and it would be so embarrassing that everyone had to
look at my family always being the ones fighting, and like, it's embarrassing,
Like regardless of how confident you are, especially as like a kid in
growing up, that that's really embarrassing. And I even remember thinking, like,
and I always had people my close friends at my house. Like I
had a best friend who I always had at my house because she had a
similar situation growing up. But every morning we my alarm clock was essentially people
fighting in my house and I was like, oh, just ignore that and
like slammed my door shot. But for such a long time because people were
so loud, I didn't feel heard. And it's like you forget your own
inner child wounds as you start to grow up because there's just so many things
in your three D world going on. You have a job, you have
school, you have your internship, you have your friends, and you go
unconscious and something in this massage, whatever she hit, I guess my neck
was holding onto emotions, which I know because I have a thing with my
thyroid. And I just cried and released it and it felt so good.
The need to feel heard that is also a need for validation, and I
think we don't really talk about that. There are needs of being understood,
and that one I feel like I've gotten the best handle on the need to
be heard. That one I feel like I am currently working on through subconscious
healing and in our child's healing, and the need to be seen, the
need to be loved, the need for connection, the need for validation,
of course, which is what we're really talking about today. To me,
these are all one and the same. The need for you to be understood
is really similar to you needing validation. The need for you to be heard
is really similar for you needing validation. And for such a long time I
was thinking that in order to be heard, that's not needing validation. That's
different like needing to be heard. I need that other person to see where
I'm coming from, and I need them to hear me. I need them
to hear my words, because for so long I felt like I haven't been
heard. And what I realized in that moment, what God really showed me,
is that CC I am God, and I've always heard you. I've
always heard you. I've heard every prayer, I've heard every cry, I've
heard every scream, I've heard every hurt. I've heard every celebration, I've
heard every intention and in that moment, and it makes me emotional now because
not only has God and my spirit team always been there for me, always
have heard me throughout everything, but God also showed me and CC you know
who else heard you? You did? You did, And that's what matters.
That's what truly matters. You hearing yourself because when you give yourself validation,
when you hear yourself out, when you understand you you don't need it
from those other people, you feel confident, you feel fulfilled, you feel
free. God is always gonna be there for us, always validating our experience
because we made a contract with God about this experience. God is always going
to be there with us. And I feel like I need to take a
side note here before we really get into the validation stuff to talk about God.
I know God can be a tricky subject for a lot of people because
some people literally have trauma with the church and with word God. I understand
that. I want to take a side note here and just say the way
I truly connected to God was by screaming at him when my mom dragged me
to a chapel because I was just crying every single day. She's like,
bitch, we gotta get you to the chapel, crying and screaming at God.
I feel lost. I don't know what's going on. A fucking knack.
That was me. That was me just screaming and cursing. Probably not
the best thing to do, but I was just losing my shit. Okay,
that's how that's how I felt. I just encourage you. If that's
how you're feeling, talk to God. Because after my mom dragged me to
the chapel, within two days I believe it was two days. It was
definitely the same week. Two days I got my answers. My whole entire
life shifted, and then I was like, oh shit, damn, God
really does exist. Like you don't need to hear me preach about God.
I'm not going to convince you God exist. I can't. That's not that
I couldn't convince you if I tried. But all I encourage you to do
is to find your conviction through yourself. Talk to God, Tell God what's
going on, Tell your spirit team what's going on, your angels. They
will respond to you. I like, it's just funny because I always felt
like really misunderstood, you know, growing up and like my intentions were not
heard clearly. But you know who always understood me? God, You know
who always answers me. God. I don't always get an answer from you
know, a long lost friend, or I didn't get the connections I wanted
really growing up, I lost a lot of people who I used to be
close with. You know who stayed God. So I just have a side
note of saying, you don't need to believe me. I'm not going to
try to convince you. That's a waste of my time in your time.
I just encourage you start screaming at God, start screaming out, okay,
because God will hear you. You'll get your answers. Your life is going
to change. It just will, okay, anyway, baccinating valid. So
what I realized in this moment is not only did God always hear me,
my angels always hear me, but there was me. There was me.
I have always heard myself. I've always known what I've intended to do.
I've always known how I've felt. So if someone is going to stand up
for me, if someone's going to hear me, it's got to be me.
Now, what I was doing is. I would hear my true intentions.
I would hear, oh CEC, I don't actually want to do these
sports, but I would ignore my own feelings. I would ignore my own
thoughts, I would ignore my own desires because I valued getting other people's validation
more than I valued being happy. I have always heard myself, but I
have not always listened to myself. And there's the difference. I've always heard
what I've truly wanted, what I truly desired, what I truly intended.
But I let all of that pass by my wayside, and I valued how
other people were perceiving me more. Because I valued getting that fuzzy, warm
feeling outside of myself more than I valued getting it from myself. I didn't
realize how much happier I could be if I just started listening to myself.
And that's why I'm here to tell you you got to start listening to yourself.
I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again.
There was one time when I was doing inner minute fasting, and for whatever
reason, it turned to be like five PM and the day got away from
me. I didn't get to eat, I was out all day. I
ran to the supermarket to get food, and I just started buying everything things
I was allergic to things. I would never eat things that were gluten I
think I was vegan at the time. I was probably buying things un vegan.
I was just buying everything. When I got home and I looked at
what I bought, I thought to myself, what did I just Why did
I spend money on this? What was I thinking? Why would I buy
this food I'm literally not going to eat. Is so crazed, so starving
for something outside of myself with this food that when I got to the grocery
store, I lowered my boundaries, I lowered my values, I forgot all
of my core beliefs, and I just bought everything. Now apply this to
energy. When we are starving for validation, for love, for connection,
we will drop our boundaries, our standards, our needs, our requirements,
our beliefs, our everything. We will drop it all because we're so hungry
for that thing outside of ourself. If I would have fed myself food that
day, I wouldn't have been so hungry, and I wouldn't have dropped my
boundaries and my standards, and I wouldn't have let in a bunch of shit
that I didn't actually want. When we give ourselves validation love, we acknowledge
ourself we're not going to be starving for all of those things outside of ourselves
because we're already feeding ourselves. We're already taking care of ourselves. Think about
on an airplane, who do you have to put the oxygen mask on first?
You? You have to take care of yourself first before you start taking
care of other people, before you even allow your attention to go to other
people, because if you don't, If you don't, you're not going to
be able to be happy. And I think we all know a martyr in
our life, and we know that their happiness of helping others is very fucking
fleeting. We know that their happiness is very unstable because it's all reliant on
that other person. We know that modyrdom is not the way. The pedestal
path is the way. And if you want to learn more about placing yourself
on the pedestal, join the pedestal path course. Now, how can we
start to give ourselves this validation because we know we've been trained to look at
it from outside of ourselves and try to get it. We know that that
feeling sucks. So how can we start to revenge our relationship to validation.
How can we start to feed ourselves. The first thing is the easiest thing.
It's just an affirmation I'm going to give you. And what it is
is I release the need for validation from others, or I release the need
for external validation. You might not know the exact incident or circumstance that has
caused you to need validation from others. When you use the affirmation, I
release the need for external validation. You don't have to know the cause,
you don't need to know the route. The mantra will take care of that
for you. So the first thing is just using the affirmation, I release
the need for external validation, and that's going to start helping you energetically and
subconsciously releasing that hunger, that starvation for this feeling outside of yourself. Now,
I want you to do a visualization with me. Okay, if you're
driving, keep your eyes open. If you're doing a workout, obviously keep
your eyes open. But if you can take a pause from what you're doing
right now and you can close your eyes, I invite you to close your
eyes for this exercise. I want you to just take a deep breath in
through your nose and let it out out through your mouth. And I want
you to just visualize your younger self a couple of feet in front of you.
Look at your big, beautiful eyes. You can see your pure innocence,
whatever age you want to imagine, just you as your younger self,
and you can see that your younger self has so much positive energy, and
has so much excitement about the world, and has so much awe and wonder
about all the beautiful things that can unfold for them. And I want you
to just introduce yourself as your adult self right now, tell them who you
are. And now I want you to tell your younger self something you have
accomplished, something that you did that you know your younger self would be so
proud of. I want you to tell your younger self a win that you've
had, whether it was getting the promotion, or getting a new job,
or getting into college, or even you got up today you cooked yourself a
really good meal. I want you to express this to your younger self.
See how your younger self is so happy for you. Their eyes grow even
wider, even bigger. They're looking up at you like you are a mega
superstar. They're looking up at you in pure, pure happiness. They're looking
up at you like you are the end all and be all, and embrace
this younger version of yourself. Give them a hug, celebrate your win,
and I want you to realize in this moment, how proud of yourself you
truly are, how proud of yourself you really are, how much you can
actually validate yourself, And when you're ready, you can open up your eyes.
That feeling that you just felt you can give to yourself at any time
of the day. You can give to yourself every day. What we just
did is we prove to ourselves that we are capable of giving ourself validation.
What we just did is prove to ourselves that we are capable of filling up
our own cup and it feeling good. What we just did is realize so
we can celebrate ourselves and we're actually fucking proud of the accomplishments that we have
created in our life. If you like to that exercise, I invite you
to after this podcast, maybe tonight or tomorrow, write a letter to your
inner child and make them a list of all the positive things or changes that
you've made in your life. Maybe you have let in one toxic person after
the other. Tell your inner child, your younger self, how you just
broke that habit you started listening to that bitch is positive, and suddenly you're
a positive bitch. Tell them about all the things that you have accomplished.
Connect with them. A lot of the programming we have comes from our inner
child, from our younger self. So if we go straight to the root
and make that connection with our inner child, we're going to make a lot
of changes really quickly, really quickly. Now Here are are some quick tips
that you can use to start validating yourself. I've talked about this before,
but when you make a mistake, it's so easy to just jump to all
the criticisms that you've heard about yourself growing up. If you make a mistake,
it's so easy to say, oh, I'm so stupid. But you
are not born feeling stupid. You were not born believing you were stupid stupid.
You are born being all loving, all confident, all magnetic. So
thinking that you're stupid, well, that's a learned behavior. Your inner critic.
How was that inner critic created? Your inner critic was created from the
external critics you had around you growing up, and those external criticisms have been
internalized and now they're on replay twenty four seven. Now this is up to
you. Do you want your external critics from your past to control your current
lifestyle, your current success. Do you want the people who have hurt you
in your past to still have control over you today? I think not so.
The first step to really taking our power back, or maybe not the
first step because we've already talked about too, But the third step that we're
going to talk about is working alongside your inner critic and healing your inner critic
to the light. How do we heal our inner critic. We start to
engage with our inner critic, because anything we run from will chase us.
We're not going to run from our darkness. We're not going to be in
denial of our darkness. We're going to communicate with our darkness. We're gonna
dance with our darkness. So when your inner critic starts to chirp away,
instead of you agreeing with your internal critic and identifying with your internal critic and
thinking that you are your internal critic, we're gonna create some separation. We're
gonna create some room between what you're thinking and who you are because you are
not your thoughts, and you're certainly not your negative thoughts. Those criticisms are
not yours, so why are you believing them? Don't let someone else's projection
become your prediction. It's time to release ourselves from these external criticisms that we
don't even really believe. They just happen to be on AutoPlay because that is
how our brain works. So what you're gonna do the next time you hear
your inner critic First of all, we're gonna name them. I name mine
Sheila. Anytime I hear Mine talking bad about me, I'm like, Sheila,
girl, you are funny, but I'm not letting you bring me down
today. I don't care if you call your negative thoughts the devil Sheila Santa
Claus, I don't care, but I need you to start realizing that this
inner roommates, these thoughts, are not you. The first step of moving
away from our negative thoughts is to realize that they are not us and we
are not them. Depersonalize these thoughts. That's it, that's it. We're
going to unconnect with these thoughts. We're gonna unconnect from thinking that they're ours
and us because they're not. So what do you want to name your inner
critic? Now? When your inner critic comes up and starts talking to you.
The second part of this is instead of agreeing with your inner critic or
being like, oh, yeah I am, I'm such a dumb bitch,
instead of doing that, what you're gonna do is say, oh, that's
so silly. That's silly. When we get annoyed or upset or angry at
ourselves, there's gonna be this surge of energy. Now today, I don't
like loud noises, and when there's a vacuum going off or like a really
loud noise when I'm trying to do something, it makes my brain do just
weird things like I can't. So there was that happening today whereas trying to
eat my food in peace and there was a really loud noise going off and
it was driving me cray cray. And instead of allowing myself to get upset
now I didn't have like a negative thought of hatred towards myself, but instead
of allowing myself to get upset, I started laughing. I was like,
of course this is happening the second I eat my food, like of course,
when I need peace the most to digest. Of course, the loud
noise happens, and I laughed about it. So whether you're having a surge
of negative energy thoughts about yourself or a surge of angryness surging through your body,
because I was literally me today, laugh it off, laugh it off.
Laughter is truly the best medicine. I cannot recommend enough watching a comedy
before you go to bed. If you're a reader, go off and read
to put me to sleep. I like to watch something, and I've been
watching The Mindy Project. Oh my god, what an amazing freaking show.
You gotta watch the Mindy Project. You gotta watch them Indie Project anyway,
and I started watching Love Is Blind too, which is just always making me
laugh. And of course married at first at Australia, another one of my
faves. If you don't know, I went to school and part of my
major was film and television, so I am a huge I love some TV
programs like the News. I'm like, no, I wouldn't do that,
But I love reality television. I love all that stuff, and you never
know, maybe I will create a reality show myself one day. Of course
I will have healing and positive programs in it. But anyway, if you're
like, that's so weird that you watch all this TV, well I fucking
love it and I came here to be human, so I'm gonna keep doing
it anyway. So we're gonna laugh off the inner critic. And when you
laugh at your inner critic, you don't give it control over you. If
my inner critics starts going off, and I believe it, well, now
those past critics have control over me. Well, now that in our critic
has control over me too. But if I laugh it off says what no,
it's not gonna work, it's not gonna work. That puts the control
back into my hands. Now I'm not gonna laugh it off and be like,
oh, I'm so stupid. No, I'm like, ha stilling me.
Oh, Sheila, you're really on one today, but trying to get
me again because you can't. You can't. I won CC one Sheila zero,
okay, and you're just gonna laugh it off. Funny, Sheila,
Funny, you thought you could try me today, failed, failed, failed,
I'm winning. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. Even
if so my cousin the other days I said something and we're talking about something,
She's like, yeah, no, I won't subscribe to that. I
love that. I love that. So if you have a negative thought about
yourself where you think you need validation and from someone, or you're starving yourself
from validation, just be like, I don't subscribe to that thought. I
don't claim that thought. I don't subscribe to this negative programming that I need
other people to validate me. I don't subscribe to this negative programming of feeling
not good about myself. I unsubscribe and just don't subscribe from it. I
just thought that was so funny. Now, how do we start to validate
ourselves? There are so many ways you can celebrate your big and little winds.
Whether it's making a cup of tea or you got promoted, celebrate it.
Your self talk is so important because it's what you hear twenty four seven.
Celebrate your big and little wins. Another thing you can do is literally
have affirmations and put them somewhere you're going to see them every single day,
whether it's the back of your phone or on the wall. I feel like,
where should I put my affirmations. I put them inside my mirror where
I go to open my mirror every single day to get my teeth paste.
And then I put my affirmations on my phone. I have widgets and there's
affirmations there. Your affirmations won't work unless you're working them. Put them in
places where you are going to see them. How else can you validate yourself?
When you're feeling a negative emotion, let it the fuck out. For
most of my life, I've been told I'm too sensitive, YadA, YadA,
YadA. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Okay, So
I used to think that I had to shove down my emotions. I used
to cover my face when I would cry. I used to pretend like I
didn't feel anything. Look, pretending like you have no emotions is not a
flex It's a sign you have a lot of trauma. Okay. When you
want to validate yourself, the best way to validate yourself is to allow yourself
a safe space to let your emotions out. How can you let your emotions
out? Journal about them, cry about them. If you're having trouble evoking
your own emotions. This is something I say in the twenty one Day break
up globe challenge, watch reality dating television. There is bound to be someone
who's going to cry and have a mental break, not down, but through.
You will cry with them, or put on a sad movie and cry
with the movie. If you don't know how to evoke your own emotions,
put something on that's gonna make you cry and let it out, let it
out. I will set aside twenty five forty five minutes for me to just
cry, journal about my emotions and let it out, and then I feel
so much better. It's like oiling the wheel. You just gotta let that
water out. Because so many think I'm gonna so many people think I'm not
gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. Your crying
is what allows you to feel better. It's alchemizing your pain into power.
Let it be there, Let it be there. Another amazing way to validate
yourself is to find a strain that serves you. And every time you find
this strain, so maybe it's working out finding a strain that serves you.
I say it a lot, so I assume you know what I'm talking about,
but I should explain finding a strain that serves you means you choose something
that's not the easiest for you to do, but you do it anyway.
So maybe it's running or walking, or creating a TikTok every single day,
or reading a book or learning quantum physics, and you engage with that difficult
behavior and you prove to yourself, Wow, I am more powerful than I
thought. That's another amazing way to validate yourself. I'm all about living a
soft life, but I truly believe that there are certain seasons that you're gonna
have to fight, and there's certain seasons that you have to flow. So
find something to fight for and make that fight for you, Make that fight
for you. What is something I can fight for? I can fight to
validate myself. What can I choose that's going to be a strain to serve
me? And how can I start weaving that into my weekly schedule. I
promise you, it's going to change how you see yourself. It's gonna change
how you feel about yourself, it's gonna change your life. Now. I
feel that a huge part of me validating me has been just talking to God
and creating space for me to talk to God. Now, if you like
your traditional prayers, do your traditional prayers for me. I like to just
talk to God and create space for conversation with the divine. And I think
that a lot of us might be good at talking, but I don't know
how good we are at listening. If you want to start to validate yourself,
create space to not only hear yourself through meditation, but to hear the
divine. I love my prayers. Prayers is talking, prayers is asking,
Meditation is when you receive. I want you to start creating space where you
put on a healing frequency and you just listen to yourself. You just let
divine inspiration channel through your body. Maybe God has a message for you,
your spirit gods have a message for you, or maybe your subconscious mind has
a message for you. But you can't validate you. You can't hear you
if you don't create space to listen. I had to go to this massage
and have fifteen minutes of silence for her to do something to my neck and
for me to hear something that I wasn't listening to because, like I said,
we can always hear ourselves, but it doesn't mean we're listening. You
have to create space to hear yourself and then step two is listening to your
true desires act on them. If you really hate sports, stop playing them.
If you want to build up trust and validation with yourself, you can't
just be like, oh, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. No,
you need to create space to hear yourself, and then you need to
actually listen to what it is you're saying. If you feel like going out
and blacking out every single weekend isn't serving you anymore. I don't want you
to just hear that. I need you to listen. I need you to
sit in meditation and hear what it is you need to do next. Because
I can guide you, but I can't tell you everything exactly that you need
for your path. That's your job. That's your job to find that out.
So I want you, in order to start validating yourself, it's to
not only hear yourself, but create space to listen and act on it and
start following your true, authentic vibration. I think that if you are into
prayer, an amazing thing you can do. The specific way to pray about
this is to ask God to change your heart's desires. Ask God change my
heart's desire instead of me needing or feeling like I need people to validate me
outside of myself. God show me how to validate me. Change my heart's
desire that I don't even care about their validation anymore. Change my heart's desire
so that I only care about me validating me. Ask God to change your
heart. There have been things that I'm like, I am so dead set
on and then God changes my heart and I'm like and a girl did not
care anymore. Ask God to change your heart and you will be shook at
the results. If this podcast resonated with you, please share it with a
friend or a family member. You never know who may need to learn how
to validate themselves. And if you enjoyed it, please leave a positive review
on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Follow me a vibe with CC so you can
suggest topics for this very podcast. Right now, I want spooky topics for
the month of October. You know, every October we do a spooky subject
and by spooky we talk about negative energy entities, et cetera. But what
do you want to hear about? Let me know. The Sparkling Meat Honors
is sparkling you and I will see you in the next one. Changes can
change? Can such me, can such me