Hi everyone. My name is Alicia Gogan, the host of the Globe Secrets
podcast, where I help you expand your mind and become more self aware so
that you can glow up into the best version of yourself. Hello everyone,
how are we doing? I missed an upload date, which was Thursday because
I am just getting over a cold. I'm hopefully going to be posting this
episode on Friday or Saturday, so really only like a day or two later.
So I apologize for anyone who didn't get the memo and you don't follow
me on Instagram, what you should Alicia Gogan, and you didn't see that.
I said that I was sick and that I won't be posting, but
I really feel like life is coming back into my soul and I have enough
energy to record today, and I quite frankly missed you guys, and listen.
I have been sick for the past week, and at the beginning of
that sickness, I was basically going through a little bit of a mental health
crisis. Actually crisis is way too big of a word. I was resetting
my mental health and I did make a vlog because I think I had some
good tips for that reset. So if you're interested in that, then you
can go watch out on my channel, my main channel, Alicia Gogan.
But I have been going through it. I've also heard that it's mercury retrograde.
The gatorade is in the microwave right now, also that there's some sort
of either full moon eclipse. It's giving. The planets are doing things that
I don't really love, but it's needed. It's absolutely needed. I do
feel like I went through a death and rebirth. Partly was because I was
sick, but I do think the planets do be planeting, and I am
a Scorpio, and apparently the scorpios really got thrown into it this time around.
So I am feeling rebirth. And you know what, This happens a
lot when I get sick, but also when my mental health kind of goes
down in the dumps for a moment, I get triggered. I have to
work through things whatever. I always come out with so much wisdom, so
much knowledge, so much juiciness, so much zest for life. And that
is what I'm here to share with you today. I did so much journaling
in the past week. I really had to to keep myself sane and work
through and process a lot of my emotions, a lot of the things that
I have been feeling. And one thing I do love about a good journal
practice with me is I end up coming up with so many different topics,
so many talking points that I can bring to you guys. And I know
that you guys are going through a lot of the same things that I either
am currently going through or have been through, or whatever the case is.
And we need to talk about self love because I feel like I have not
talked about self love in a while on the podcast, although I feel like
every episode could really be you know, it's a part of your self love
practice, and listening to podcasts in general can be a form of self love.
But even for myself, I really haven't taken a look at my relationship
with myself in the way of really analyzing, like how much do I love
myself? Am I doing things that are truly self loving? And really have
I asked myself this question in a while? And the question is what would
somebody who loves themselves do? So let me give you a whole backstory and
let's unpack what I mean by this question that I'm posing to you, to
myself and really to the universe. So recently, I've been having conversations in
my life around feeling loved, and some of my friends have been struggling with
really knowing what it feels like to be in love, to have love.
I think we all struggle with, you know, having our lovers and consistency
and real relationships, and sometimes we're really experiencing people not showing up properly,
people being inconsistent, people disappointing us, and in turn we feel a lack
of love. Now, on one hand, it's totally normal to feel that,
especially when you have an attachment to somebody, when somebody's not showing up
a certain way, when somebody's disappointing, when somebody's being inconsistent, of course
you're naturally going to feel that lack of love. But realistically, when we
get so torn and shot down and so incredibly disregulated, when somebody's love is
not a consistent, flowing energy in our lives, this is when we really
need to explore just how much we are trying to experience the feeling of love
and trying to get love outside of ourselves versus how much is actually from our
own selves. And something that I've had to ask myself recently, same with
some of my friends. Is why are we looking so much outside of ourselves
for this feeling of love? Why do we feel so incredibly empty the moment
somebody doesn't show up a certain way. We don't get that text, they
don't show up, they don't send that emoji, they don't have that tone
of voice. Why do we get so incredibly distraught from that? And the
truth is, it's because we don't have a lot of that within ourselves to
begin with. We don't have that as our starting point. The only love
that we are actually experiencing is from that external source, and the moment that
someone quote unquote takes it away, we don't feel any of that. And
now that is a problem. That is a problem, and it's also in
my opinion, if you're looking at this from a law of attraction standpoint,
the more that we reside in this emptiness of love for ourselves and not being
able to cultivate any of it and only ever getting it from our external resources,
we are just going to attract more situations where that love comes and goes
and disregulates us more. And it's not it's not a good state of being.
It's not a healthy state of being, it's not an enjoyable state of
being. You know the feeling. You know what it feels like when you
haven't even realized just how much you've been getting your source of love from somebody
else until the moment that they walk away. You go through a breakup,
of course, usually always that's really where we feel it the most. But
I know, somebody ghosts you, somebody's not showing up, somebody disappointed you,
somebody acted a way that you didn't expect them to act. Whatever it
is, you realize it's almost like your whole world is just completely in a
new reality. And I honestly think that it hits so deep and it hurts
so much sometimes because I think one of our human needs is to feel this
deep level of connectedness and love and safety, and all we want is our
nervous systems to be regulated, honestly, and so when we don't get that,
it does literally feel like death. Sometimes it feels like it's just like
we would do anything to just have it back. But the problem with only
ever getting your source of love and stability and really regulating your nervous system from
everything external is that it's not as consistent as you needed to be. External
love and external things that make you feel a certain way. It ebbs and
flows. It ebbs and flows because it's external, so that driving force is
out of your control. The person that is giving you the feeling of love,
they have their own things going on in their life, which is going
to affect the way that they show up their capacity to give you love or
not. And the only source of consistent, grounded, regulated type of love
that you are really going to get is the source from within. And I
want to make a little side note here because I used to always hear people
say you need to love yourself. Love yourself first. The only thing that
matters is the love that you are creating internally for yourself. And on one
hand, it is right. It is actually the most important thing that you
could cultivate within yourself. But is not to look at relying on external love
or validation or anything as something that you can't have or that you shouldn't rely
on, or that you shouldn't want, because realistically, you did not come
here on earth to just be born and cultivate love and just be on an
island by yourself, loving yourself and needing nobody ever we're human beings. We
are literally wired for connection. So for you to tell yourself, okay,
well, I'm just going to be in this fully full state of self love
and I'm never going to need anyone, that's obviously it's very naive to think,
because you even think about a child, like a child needs its mom
and needs his dad and needs a community, it needs everything, all of
these moving parts. Okay. So it's not to demonize external love, validation,
wanting things outside of yourself instead of looking at it like I need all
of this external love and validation, even I want, I want, I
want so bad. It's more so looking at it like it would be great,
it would be in a great addition to my life. I would love
to experience it, but I don't need it and I don't want it to
the point where I can't be grounded and feel love within myself without it.
So if you're feeling a lack of love in your life right now, you're
feeling alone, you're feeling heartbroken, you're just feeling like empty, empty,
empty empty, it's a good indicator that it's time to start to cultivate some
self love, some real love within you and realistically for again, I'm going
to look at it from a law of attraction standpoint being the change will create
more of that positive outcome that you want, which is love. So how
do we feel love again? How do we feel and cultivate this feeling of
love withinside of us? Because that is something that I really had to cultivate
a lot in the past week and kind of get myself back to where I
needed to be. And also something that I realized that I lost a little
part of that my ability to consistently sustain this feeling of love within myself and
happiness and safety, and I lost a little bit of that because naturally,
when you start to get a lot of that from external resources, aka let's
say you're in a relationship, naturally you kind of fall off of your natural
ability to give that to yourself, which is totally fine, is normal,
especially when you have attachment issues, like it feels so nice to have somebody
just give you that love, right when, especially when you've been doing that
all of your life, or you've been single for a long time and you've
been given you've been loving on yourself girl, and you're just trying to get
that love on somebody else for once, like, totally fine, but it's
just to realize, Okay, there's a lesson to be learned here. Maybe
I lost myself a little bit, Maybe I fell off of my self love
routines a little bit too much. So how do I cultivate this back within
myself? And also, again, if we're going to look at it from
a law of attraction standpoint, once you start bringing your energy towards yourself,
start cultivating that love within yourself, usually what happens is the people conform.
So when I was younger, I thought what loving myself meant was accepting myself
when I looked beautiful, when I had the body, when I had the
skin, when I had the money, the clothes, or whatever. Those
are the only times that I really loved myself. When I looked my absolute
best, when I showed up, when I finished a project, when I
did the task, when I was a good girl, when I X,
Y, and Z, I basically had conditional love for myself. I only
loved myself when I accomplished something, when I looked good. I never,
never, never, never actually loved myself on the days that I didn't look
good, that I slacked, when I was going through something when I was
confused with life, when I was breaking down in my emotions because I didn't
know how to handle them, and instead of accepting and loving on myself,
I got really mad at myself. And I think sometimes we slip up.
I've even slipped up on this too, thinking that loving myself is doing these
self care practices and spending time doing my hair and making sure that I looked
great, and making sure that my life is romantic sized and all of these
things, which are great things to do, amazing things to do. But
there's a whole other side of loving yourself, which I think is so important,
and I don't think a lot of us really actually ever learned to cultivate,
especially if you didn't have a parent who unconditionally loved you. So I'm
going to read out a few things that I wrote down in my journal the
other day when I asked myself the question what does it really mean to love
yourself? And I do want to say one thing. I thankfully had a
mother who showed me unconditional love. She loved me no matter what, she
accepted me, no matter what she still to this day, no matter what
I do, no matter what I say. She is a ride or die.
So I do think my ability to be able to tap into unconditionally loving
myself or others is a little bit I don't even want to say easier because
I'll tell you why it wasn't at the same time, but I do think
that I'm able to recognize what unconditional love might feel like or look like.
And again, these are just my definitions, like everyone has their own,
but I have witnessed it. I have been unconditionally loved my mother, and
really only recently have I really learned how to unconditionally love myself. And that
I am telling you changed my whole entire game. It changed the whole entire
game when it came to my glow up and just so much. So we're
going to get into that. But one thing I want to say is I
still struggled with loving myself for so many other reasons, Like naturally, when
you are in high school and you're going through puberty and your body's changing and
you're trying to be accepted in society, you naturally will start to not like
yourself and put conditions on yourself and only like yourself when you fit in,
or only like yourself when your hair looks like those girls, or when your
body looks like those girls, or ex y and Z. On top of
that, I did have a father who was the complete opposite then my mom,
so I picked up that very much so tyrant of a voice which was
very harsh and critical on myself. So it took me many, many,
many many years to even be able to basically self accept myself, because honestly,
loving yourself is accepting yourself for all of you, not accepting yourself for
only the half side of when you do everything perfect and amazing, for the
whole other side, the messy side, the unconventional side, the shadow side.
Realistically, so let me read out a few things that I wrote that
I really do believe is the representation of actually loving yourself. Loving yourself is
carrying yourself on the days that you don't actually love yourself, like you know,
when you have those days where you know you're not loving yourself, you're
looking in the mirror and you're eating every part of yourself and you're critical and
you're sabotaged and you're falling off your routines and everything. If you can still
love yourself and accept that state of being, that is a form of self
love. Another thing I wrote, loving yourself is creating a life for yourself
to be able to hold you a little bit better on the days that you
actually fall down. This is something that I've been thinking about every single time
I move and up level my life and glow up and just continue to evolve.
I continue to create a beautiful home environment, I create financial stability for
myself, I create time freedom, all of these amazing, beautiful things I
keep creating for myself. And I think that all of these things that I'm
creating for myself, the life that I'm creating for myself, is a form
of loving myself, because realistically, I'm still going to have bad days.
And you know what, I will tell you something. The bad days don't
feel so bad when you are out of the trap house, when you have
money to take off of work, when you can lay in your bed for
five days and not worry about a paycheck. And I experience that because I
decide to take certain action steps so that I can create the life that I
want, of course so that I can enjoy it and be amazing, but
also so I can have this life to carry me through my bad days.
So just a little bit of inspiration for you if you're wondering sometimes when you're
getting up and you're trying to go to the gym, you're working hard,
or you're grinding and you're on your path, that there is a reason that
you are doing this, even beyond you experiencing what it's going to feel like
to have all the money, the time, freedom, the everything. You're
going to have those bad days still, but they're going to feel a lot
better, a lot manageable, because you've decided to get up and work towards
your dream life. And every time that I'm sick, every time that I've
been going through something, I always just sit in gratitude for the old version
of me that decided to love herself enough to get up and create this life
so that I could be carried in these moments where I needed to just relax
and chill and not feel like the way of the world was on me.
Another thing I wrote, loving yourself is knowing that you are okay, not
that you will be okay. So let me expand on that a little bit.
There's a difference between you being in the state of I am okay as
I am right now. Nothing needs to change. I don't need to go
back, I don't need to go forward. I am okay in all of
my glory, all my messiness, all my everything, versus trying to tell
yourself, Okay, you're not okay right now, but you will be okay.
Don't worry, You'll be okay eventually, eventually, eventually in the future
when you get up tomorrow the next day. Right now is really bad,
but don't worry. In a few days, you'll be better. Now.
Listen. Obviously, it's a great affirmation to tell yourself that sometimes, and
we need to. Of course, there's duality and everything. We can accept
that as truth. But sometimes what loving yourself really is is not saying that
in a few days you'll be okay. It's fine. No, we can
be okay right now. We can accept what is going on right now.
We are safe with ourselves right now. That is a form of loving yourself.
Another thing that I wrote is that loving yourself is not running away from
yourself anymore. Sometimes when we aren't feeling okay, we want to run away
from that feeling of not feeling okay by doing self care routines or getting busy
or being productive or doing X, Y and Z to get this feeling away.
On one hand, yes, let's not demonize that. That's amazing,
okay, but a lot of us don't ever do the opposite, which is
not running away from that feeling of I'm alone right now. I feel empty
right now, I don't know how to be in this stillness. I feel
abandoned. I don't want to be with myself right now. I don't like
my life because of course it doesn't feel good. Of course it doesn't feel
good to be in any sort of negative emotion. But the truth is we
have an inner child that is feeling that way, and sometimes what we do
is we want to slap a self care routine on top of that inner child
that is feeling abandoned or alone so that it can be quiet, so that
I can stop feeling what it feels, which is realistically a feeling that I
probably felt in childhood from maybe a parent or something in its environment. Now
you might ask a question, Okay, so do I just not do self
love practices to make myself feel better? And you can totally do that,
but this is what this is what I notice in myself when I am trying
to do all of these self care practices and more routines and more to do
lists and more goals and more, you know, like doing all of these
random things or not random, just normal things to get my mind off of
things. If I still feel alone, I still feel anxiety, I still
feel like empty, then that's a good indicator that these are not the things
that I actually need that's going to make myself feel better. And realistically,
I'm only looking at these I'm only doing these things in hopes that it will
take away this feeling of abandonment and loneliness. And realistically, if I'm still
feeling abandonment and loneliness and anxiousness as I'm doing these things, then listen,
these things are not These are great things where they're not going to work.
Right now, I am going to sit with myself and my inner child because
she needs me right now. She needs me to stop running away from her.
She needs me to just sit in the corner with her where she's sitting
right now and cry with her and say I see you, I feel you,
I'm experiencing you. I'm validating that it does feel like crap right now
to feel this alone, because sometimes what we actually really need is we need
resonance, our inner child just needs you to be there and say, yes,
it sucks right now, Oh my gosh, let's cry it out.
Let's get angry, let's get mad, let's get whatever it is, and
just process the emotion, let it out. Sometimes you just need to let
a baby cry. And I don't mean the type of crying where the parent
just leaves it and hopes that it will just stop crying on its own.
No, I mean like, go with it and cry with it. You
know. I don't actually mean that, because that's not what you do when
you're a parent. But you know, sometimes you just got to be there
with yourself and you need to feel the feeling and feel it all the way
through. Something that I talked about in my mental health reset day, which
again is on my main channel, is before I was even able or not
even able, because I've done this so many times, but before I decided
to do any self care self love practices, you know, getting back into
routines and doing things that make me feel good, listening to music and doing
all that kind of stuff, right, all the great things. The first
thing I actually did was sit down in journal and literally were dumb and put
all my feelings out on the table, the feeling of disappointment, the sadness,
the anger, that all the emotions that I really was trying to suppress
by Okay, I'm going to have a self care day and do my nails
and do my hair and like hang out with my friends and look hot and
like remind myself that I'm so amazing. Like those are not the things that
are going to help me right now. Honestly, I allowed myself to experience
all of the ranges of emotions that were deep down within me anyways, and
I knew that if I didn't do that, it was just going to suppress
and they were just going to come out eventually, and I'd rather not.
I'd rather not let them come out when the time is not right. Instead
be there with myself, take a night, journal things out, let myself
cry. Girl. I cried, girl. I'd had a whole death inner
rebirth. I cried a multiple times, honey. And every single time I
do that, it feels so good, and I listen. I know it's
easier said than done, because I'm somebody who has done that so many times,
and I've seen so much benefit out of releasing and releasing again and releasing
again and purging and just letting it all out. But I know it can
be scary. It can be scary for people. There's people who are literally
like sixty seventy years old and never have actually let themselves feel emotions like that,
and it's so scary. It takes people years of therapy sometimes to even
get to that point. So I understand that it's harder said than done.
You might want to even try and do that with a therapist instead of doing
it on your own. Like there's a lot of because really what you're doing
is you're like sometimes you're processing, you're processing trauma really, so obviously,
if you can let yourself do that, then that's amazing. But nine times
out of ten, you're gonna feel so much better, so much better,
so much better. Okay, another thing that I wrote, loving Yourself is
allowing yourself to do messy things that you know that you'll need to pick the
pieces up from and still doing it. Anyways, Now I'll give you a
quick example, because obviously we don't want to make these irrational decisions in our
lives to the point where we have to pick up a pieces like we ruined
our entire lives. Like obviously not, but this is how I would think
about it. Let's say you have a baby, a little toddler, let's
say, and you have baby powder in your hand, and it's grabbing it
and it wants to play with the bottle, and you're like, okay,
here, you can have a play with it whatever, But you know,
you got to kind of be careful because if the baby gets too crazy with
it, like the baby powder is going everywhere, and you start to see
the baby get a little bit too chaotic with the bot and it's trying to
turn it around and dump it and whatever. You could take it out of
its hands and be like, hey, no, we're not gonna go there,
because it's going to create a huge mess. Or you know, you
start to see that the baby's kind of like tipping over the baby powder a
little bit and it's kind of getting everywhere, and like it's already kind of
creating a mess, and you can tell that the baby is having so much
fun with it, and you're like, you know what, just have fun
with it, and you let the baby just dump it everywhere. Baby power
is going everywhere, but the baby's laughing, You're laughing. It's a great
time and you're just saying, you know, what effort it is, what
it is, I can clean this up. It's gonna be fine. That's
the energy sometimes that we need to allow ourselves to be in. Again,
of course we've got to be careful with is it baby powder or is it
like our whole life savings that we're trying to invest something, And no,
we don't want to do that, but sometimes we just need to let our
hair down. We just need to allow ourselves to get messy, to make
a mistake, to have fun, to not be so picture perfect, pretty
proper in this box and just let ourselves have our way and enjoy it and
love ourselves through that, through that mess. Instead of getting mad at the
baby for making a mess and oh my gosh, now I'm gonna have to
clean up everything, you're just looking at the baby like I love you anyways.
I literally love you. I couldn't not love you. And that's bringing
it back to how I always experience my mom looking at me. It's like,
no matter how big of a mess, she's like, I love you
anyways, Like you're just I can't not love you, you know. And
I think that we really need to start having that same energy towards ourselves,
especially when we make mistakes. Okay, I'm not saying to make a bunch
of mistakes in your life, but just can you just allow yourself to make
a mistake for once, Like, is it really that big of a deal.
It's probably not. It's probably not. And you need to have more
love and more race and more childlike energy towards yourself when it comes to mistakes
and just being messy and doing things and experiencing life. Another thing I wrote
loving yourself is taking off the timeline of when you need to get back to
being more yourself again. It's this energy of really not fully accepting who we
are in this moment when we're not feeling our best or our lives are feeling
a little bit chaotic or unknown, or we don't know the answer, we
don't know the path. We live in a society that's just like go,
go go. We need the answer now, and we need to continue to
go and we need to be perfect and if not, it's unsafe, and
it's really not unsafe, we just perceive it to be unsafe. And so
when you're feeling like you're a little bit lost, allow yourself to be lost.
Allow yourself to not have a timeline on when you need to get back
to it. And I get it. We have work, we have responsibilities,
we have X, Y and Z, But even when we have those
things, we don't need to be one hundred percent. I've told myself,
even even like this past week when I've been sick again, I'm very good
at doing this with myself now too. It's like, of course, eventually
I need to get back to podcasting, making YouTube videos, doing my work,
but I also don't need to be one hundred percent. I don't need
to like feel one hundred percent, or make the most viral video or look
the absolute best whatever. Just show up how you are in this moment,
and that is good enough. Another thing I wrote loving yourself is to listen
to when your gut says time is up. This is something that I do
think is a big issue with us females. We have this beautiful intuition,
We have this beautiful gut instinct that we ignore time and time again, and
I think one of the most self loving acts that we can do for ourselves
is to honor that feeling and let our intuition tell us when the time is
up, and to listen to that, because realistically, when we have this
gut instinct that this is not it, this is not the one, this
is not the time, you're going through the same thing over and over again.
This is your intuition trying to kick in it to be like, Hi,
I need you to start loving on me. You are not loving on
me, you are not listening to me. So really, when you feel
this gut instinct with anything in your life, remind yourself it's an act of
self love and kindness to yourself to listen to your intuition, because you know
the answer that is something that is It's a journey. And it's kind of
sad that we look outside of ourselves for so many answers, so much guidance,
so much inspiration, so much motivation, so much to tell us what
to do, to tell us the right answer what we should do now.
Obviously, it's great to have people to guide you and to influence you,
and we need that because we are human beings and we are connected, and
we need community and we need support. But realistically, we do and we
can source at answer within ourselves and the way that we're going to strengthen that
relationship and that trust muscle is by not ignoring when our intuition tells us time
is up, this is not right, something is off. So please start
to listen to yourself, to your inner knowing, even if you cannot act
on it in that moment, start getting better at listening to it. A
practice that is really good that I'm actually going to be restarting now that the
summer months are here is having a very deep spiritual morning practice. And if
you guys want me to do maybe a video, a YouTube video on that
I could. I used to do it. I was just looking at my
archives on my Instagram and I was just like, so, I was in
such a good vibe last summer of doing this, but just waking up,
lighting some incense, pulling a Goddess card and writing out what I'm feeling,
what I'm thinking, what my higher self wants me to really channel today.
And that is such a good practice for you to have, is to really
just connect with yourself before anything else in the morning. And I think that
it's even nicer when the sun is out and you can go outside or even
just opening up a window and just having that peace and stillness and for you
again to connect to that inner knowing that you actually do have within you,
and you will find some profound answers. It's not even actually about finding answers,
but they will come to you. You will have them, you will
have insights, you will have something the more times you do it. And
in the past week, I have been doing this and I have gotten profound
answers, so much guidance, so much wisdom, so many ideas, so
many places that I'm going to take myself this summer from simply reconnecting to myself
in the mornings and for me personally, kind of stepping into my higher self
and asking my higher self like what does my higher self want me to know
today? And also just writing out anything that I'm currently feeling. And the
more times that I do that, it just leads me to profound realizations,
answers, wisdom, whatever. Okay, the last thing that I wrote,
loving yourself is an act of allowing allowing yourself to be exactly who you are
in this moment when you haven't before. And I had a little dialogue here,
so I wrote a little rebuttal and I feel like maybe some of you
might have thought about this before, but won't I lose myself if I just
allow myself to be. If you think about it, right, if I
accept my body for what it is, or my looks, or my financial
status or my current life, won't I just stay the same. I'm scared
of that. There's a lot of women who are very high achieving who struggle
with self love and accepting themselves because they're like, well, if I do
that, then I'm I don't trust that. I'm not going to continue to
create more success and be more financially free or have this accolade or that accolade.
And what I wrote here was no, you won't lose yourself because there
is duality in everything, which means loving yourself means doing what is best for
you in that moment, and what is best for you and every single moment
is not always staying the same, is not always not having any discipline,
is not always accepting everything all the time and just relaxing and chilling. There's
the opposite of that. So let's talk about that, because I think a
lot of people struggle with self acceptance and loving themselves because they're like, Okay,
well let me try to not judge myself and accept myself and whatever.
But then they still have this desire, and of course you live in reality.
You still have things you need to work towards. You need to get
up and you need to go, and you need to do the self care
routines and the practices, and you need to be a part of society.
So how do I balance? How do I balance letting myself rest, the
feminine, the receiving, the relaxing, the soft life, but also the
masculine, the getting things done, the making sure that you know, we
have some structures, we have some walls, we have some goals, we
have some direction, And I think the first thing that you need to do
is to actually listen to what you need in this moment. You need to
tune in to what your needs and wants are in this moment. And this
brings me to that question that you're going to be asking yourself a lot this
summer. What would somebody who loves themselves do? Now? This is going
to be absolutely so unique to yourself because it is based off of what you
are currently going through and what you need. So maybe what the most loving
thing for you to do for yourself right now is to put your phone down
and stop waiting for a text. Maybe the most loving thing for you to
do right now is to take another sick day because you are actually sick,
instead of you trying to continue to push yourself and work through it. Maybe
the most loving thing for you to do for yourself is to stop forcing yourself
to try to come up with an answer, the answer that you've told yourself
that you need to come to, the decision that you told yourself you need
to make right now in this moment. Maybe the most self loving thing for
you to do is to finally go and ask somebody for help so you stop
feeling like the weight of the world is on you. Or maybe the most
self loving thing for you to do right now is to allow yourself to miss
somebody who didn't treat you right. The thing is only you are going to
know what you need, which is also so empowering, right because I could
tell you that you should take another sick day, or maybe you should get
up and just go to work. But the thing is only you know.
Only you know how not accepting you have been of yourself, or how much
you've probably been slacking on the goals in which the most self loving thing for
you to do is for you to add more discipline into your life. It's
going to take a big level of self awareness, and it's going to take
a lot of learning curves because sometimes we have a skewed perception of what we
think that we need for ourselves, which is good to always get guidance,
good to listen to podcasts of core, etc. So you can kind of
recalibrate yourself right because you might truly believe that you need another workout even though
you've been working out literally for the past twenty days straight. Or you actually
are convinced that you need to eat thirteen hundred calories because you have the skewed
perception of how you should look, or you should feel, or you should
be eating in life, and then sometimes it's actually not really that helpful.
So you need to see all the decisions that you currently have been making for
yourself and see are they really getting you to where you want to go?
Is the thirteen hundred calories that you've been eating forever is it really getting you
anywhere? If it's not, then maybe you need to reevaluate is this really
a self loving thing for me? Or let's say you're never letting yourself have
any time off and you're working through every day that you're sick or you're just
you're working all the time. Well, is that actually helping you or is
it hurting you? Are you burnt out? Okay? So if you're burnt
out, then maybe the decisions that you are making for yourself might be a
little bit skewed. Maybe what you actually need is to take a day off,
or you need to pull back on something, or you need to recalibrate
your mindset, you need to reset your mental health and listen. This is
a journey, a process, but this is something that you can take with
you in any moment that when you're about to make a decision, what would
somebody who loves themselves do? What is the highest, most good decision for
myself? Is it really to keep scrolling on TikTok past my bedtime when I've
told myself that I needed to go to sleep. Is it really waiting up
for somebody who hasn't been waiting up for me? Is it really putting off
all am I to do lists to another day just to streuss myself out more.
These are things that only you are going to know the answer to.
But I want you to start trusting yourself. I want you to start trusting
the answer that comes to you and bringing this whole thing back to the beginning
of this episode of cultivating this feeling of love within ourselves. The more times
that you make these little micro decisions to do things that somebody who loves themselves
would do, you will start to feel love for yourself. You will start
to feel confident, like you trust yourself, like you back yourself, like
you show up for yourself doing these small things for yourself. I promise you,
not only will you feel that internal change within you, you will see
people conform. You will start to see people show up in your life with
that same level of love that you have for yourself. When you have boundaries,
when you're saying no, when you're prioritizing yourself more, those people have
no option but to fall off or to stand up exactly where you are.
Another thing that you can journal on if you want to to get yourself like
really going. If you're just realizing, like I am not loving on myself
girl, like I've been slacking on this, that and the third dad,
and you're really hyper focused on somebody else that's not giving you love or everything
external, then here's a journal pomp for you. What are all the ways
that I've been putting myself last in everyone first and putting yourself last. Sometimes
we don't even see just how much we are putting ourselves last. Like you
sitting in your bed scrolling on TikTok past the time that you told yourself is
putting yourself last, because now you're going past your bedtime, which means you're
going to mess up your sleep, which means in the morning you're gonna be
more tired, more angry maybe or grumpy whatever. You might not have enough
energy to do your workout xyz like those little micro things, or staying up
and waiting around and checking messages to see if somebody would ever again, you're
leaving yourself and you are your focused on on everyone else but yourself. Or
when you're saying yes the plans when you know your body can't handle it right
now, you're tired, you're depleted, you don't have the money, you
don't have the resources, whatever it is, but you're saying yes, you're
putting yourself last again. Or let's say, when you're hyper fixating on a
situation or you're thinking about, well, what should I say to this person
and should I say it? Like this, or you're talking to a million
friends about how you should act or how you should look or whatever. Again,
you're putting yourself last. And a follow up journal prompt that you can
write out as well is what do I need to do to start showing up
for myself more? And I can guarantee you there's five to ten things that
you can list out that you haven't been doing that you need to be doing
for yourself. So do those things. This is the time, guys.
If not now, then when I'm waiting. Yeah, there's no answer.
It's now or never. And again, if this is this, you loving
on yourself should not be why you are trying to get love from someone else
realistically, but realistically as well, you will start to get more of that
love and that consistency in that juiciness of life that you're really wanting to experience
when you start to be the change and you know what, it's okay that
you want that, it's okay that you want to love from someone else.
You want consistency, you want people showing up a certain way, whatever,
But it starts with you, and the universe is talking through me to you
and telling you it's time for you to choose yourself. It is time for
you to stop waiting for somebody to make you feel what you can feel within
yourself. I know it's hard. I know it's hard. It is something
that I have tried to fight so long in my life because it is hard.
It is messy, it is boring, It is like not the work
that we want to do. We just want somebody else to do it for
us. But I promise you, when you can have fun with it and
you can start really enjoying this process, it's gonna be great. And you
are going to be a magnet for more love and more abundance and more everything.
And I think we're going to talk about that. I think next week's
episode, I want to talk about why you need to romanticize your life because
I think that romanticizing your life and your routines and really enjoying your life and
the process it's going to help you with this relationship with loving yourself, because
you know it's hard work. And we don't want to look at everything as
like boring and hard because in what happens we don't do it. It's so
much easier to go back to the X and wait for the text and wait
for them to make us feel good. But we can't do that because we
know where that leads us. When they don't, when they don't show up,
when they don't text, when they don't X Y and Z, because
people are not consistent. Because that is life. So let me know if
you guys want me to talk about that, romanticizing your life, things of
that. I'm in the era of romanticizing my life, being obsessed with myself.
I don't love saying I'm gonna be obsessed to myself and I'm obsessed to
myself because I know how that comes across. But listen, it is the
time to become obsessed with yourself this summer, and we're gonna do that.
I'm gonna show you how to do that, and we're gonna talk about how
to do that on the podcast and my channel. Okay, all right,
that's it for this episode. I love you guys so much. Rebrand coming
soon for the podcast. Cannot wait, cool things coming for the podcast,
and yeah, I love you guys so much, and I'll see you in
the next one. Bye.