WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.120 Hi everyone. My name is Alicia Gogan, the host of the Globe Secrets 2 00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:06.719 podcast, where I help you expand your mind and become more self aware so 3 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:10.880 that you can glow up into the best version of yourself. Hello everyone, 4 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:17.519 how are we doing? I missed an upload date, which was Thursday because 5 00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:22.079 I am just getting over a cold. I'm hopefully going to be posting this 6 00:00:22.120 --> 00:00:27.640 episode on Friday or Saturday, so really only like a day or two later. 7 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:31.559 So I apologize for anyone who didn't get the memo and you don't follow 8 00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:36.159 me on Instagram, what you should Alicia Gogan, and you didn't see that. 9 00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:40.719 I said that I was sick and that I won't be posting, but 10 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:47.079 I really feel like life is coming back into my soul and I have enough 11 00:00:47.159 --> 00:00:53.119 energy to record today, and I quite frankly missed you guys, and listen. 12 00:00:53.399 --> 00:00:57.719 I have been sick for the past week, and at the beginning of 13 00:00:57.719 --> 00:01:00.920 that sickness, I was basically going through a little bit of a mental health 14 00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:04.879 crisis. Actually crisis is way too big of a word. I was resetting 15 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:08.239 my mental health and I did make a vlog because I think I had some 16 00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:11.840 good tips for that reset. So if you're interested in that, then you 17 00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:15.200 can go watch out on my channel, my main channel, Alicia Gogan. 18 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:21.519 But I have been going through it. I've also heard that it's mercury retrograde. 19 00:01:22.120 --> 00:01:26.439 The gatorade is in the microwave right now, also that there's some sort 20 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:32.239 of either full moon eclipse. It's giving. The planets are doing things that 21 00:01:32.359 --> 00:01:34.959 I don't really love, but it's needed. It's absolutely needed. I do 22 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:40.120 feel like I went through a death and rebirth. Partly was because I was 23 00:01:40.159 --> 00:01:44.480 sick, but I do think the planets do be planeting, and I am 24 00:01:44.519 --> 00:01:49.680 a Scorpio, and apparently the scorpios really got thrown into it this time around. 25 00:01:49.719 --> 00:01:55.480 So I am feeling rebirth. And you know what, This happens a 26 00:01:55.519 --> 00:01:59.239 lot when I get sick, but also when my mental health kind of goes 27 00:01:59.280 --> 00:02:00.439 down in the dumps for a moment, I get triggered. I have to 28 00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:06.400 work through things whatever. I always come out with so much wisdom, so 29 00:02:06.519 --> 00:02:12.039 much knowledge, so much juiciness, so much zest for life. And that 30 00:02:12.199 --> 00:02:16.080 is what I'm here to share with you today. I did so much journaling 31 00:02:16.599 --> 00:02:22.280 in the past week. I really had to to keep myself sane and work 32 00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:24.199 through and process a lot of my emotions, a lot of the things that 33 00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:28.439 I have been feeling. And one thing I do love about a good journal 34 00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:32.560 practice with me is I end up coming up with so many different topics, 35 00:02:32.599 --> 00:02:38.719 so many talking points that I can bring to you guys. And I know 36 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:42.080 that you guys are going through a lot of the same things that I either 37 00:02:42.319 --> 00:02:46.639 am currently going through or have been through, or whatever the case is. 38 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:51.159 And we need to talk about self love because I feel like I have not 39 00:02:51.560 --> 00:02:55.520 talked about self love in a while on the podcast, although I feel like 40 00:02:55.560 --> 00:03:00.400 every episode could really be you know, it's a part of your self love 41 00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:02.599 practice, and listening to podcasts in general can be a form of self love. 42 00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:08.599 But even for myself, I really haven't taken a look at my relationship 43 00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:15.000 with myself in the way of really analyzing, like how much do I love 44 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:20.680 myself? Am I doing things that are truly self loving? And really have 45 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:23.439 I asked myself this question in a while? And the question is what would 46 00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:30.360 somebody who loves themselves do? So let me give you a whole backstory and 47 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:35.439 let's unpack what I mean by this question that I'm posing to you, to 48 00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:39.639 myself and really to the universe. So recently, I've been having conversations in 49 00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:46.599 my life around feeling loved, and some of my friends have been struggling with 50 00:03:47.520 --> 00:03:53.120 really knowing what it feels like to be in love, to have love. 51 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:59.599 I think we all struggle with, you know, having our lovers and consistency 52 00:03:59.639 --> 00:04:03.240 and real relationships, and sometimes we're really experiencing people not showing up properly, 53 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:10.039 people being inconsistent, people disappointing us, and in turn we feel a lack 54 00:04:10.199 --> 00:04:14.039 of love. Now, on one hand, it's totally normal to feel that, 55 00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:16.040 especially when you have an attachment to somebody, when somebody's not showing up 56 00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:21.160 a certain way, when somebody's disappointing, when somebody's being inconsistent, of course 57 00:04:21.199 --> 00:04:26.160 you're naturally going to feel that lack of love. But realistically, when we 58 00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:34.480 get so torn and shot down and so incredibly disregulated, when somebody's love is 59 00:04:34.600 --> 00:04:41.040 not a consistent, flowing energy in our lives, this is when we really 60 00:04:41.079 --> 00:04:46.800 need to explore just how much we are trying to experience the feeling of love 61 00:04:46.839 --> 00:04:51.600 and trying to get love outside of ourselves versus how much is actually from our 62 00:04:51.639 --> 00:04:56.600 own selves. And something that I've had to ask myself recently, same with 63 00:04:56.600 --> 00:05:03.079 some of my friends. Is why are we looking so much outside of ourselves 64 00:05:03.480 --> 00:05:10.800 for this feeling of love? Why do we feel so incredibly empty the moment 65 00:05:11.399 --> 00:05:15.319 somebody doesn't show up a certain way. We don't get that text, they 66 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:18.160 don't show up, they don't send that emoji, they don't have that tone 67 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:24.560 of voice. Why do we get so incredibly distraught from that? And the 68 00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:29.120 truth is, it's because we don't have a lot of that within ourselves to 69 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:32.639 begin with. We don't have that as our starting point. The only love 70 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:39.279 that we are actually experiencing is from that external source, and the moment that 71 00:05:39.319 --> 00:05:44.000 someone quote unquote takes it away, we don't feel any of that. And 72 00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:48.399 now that is a problem. That is a problem, and it's also in 73 00:05:48.439 --> 00:05:53.040 my opinion, if you're looking at this from a law of attraction standpoint, 74 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:58.519 the more that we reside in this emptiness of love for ourselves and not being 75 00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:02.319 able to cultivate any of it and only ever getting it from our external resources, 76 00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:08.600 we are just going to attract more situations where that love comes and goes 77 00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:14.399 and disregulates us more. And it's not it's not a good state of being. 78 00:06:14.519 --> 00:06:17.879 It's not a healthy state of being, it's not an enjoyable state of 79 00:06:17.879 --> 00:06:25.000 being. You know the feeling. You know what it feels like when you 80 00:06:25.639 --> 00:06:29.519 haven't even realized just how much you've been getting your source of love from somebody 81 00:06:29.519 --> 00:06:32.680 else until the moment that they walk away. You go through a breakup, 82 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:36.759 of course, usually always that's really where we feel it the most. But 83 00:06:38.360 --> 00:06:42.800 I know, somebody ghosts you, somebody's not showing up, somebody disappointed you, 84 00:06:42.959 --> 00:06:46.040 somebody acted a way that you didn't expect them to act. Whatever it 85 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:51.040 is, you realize it's almost like your whole world is just completely in a 86 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:56.600 new reality. And I honestly think that it hits so deep and it hurts 87 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:02.040 so much sometimes because I think one of our human needs is to feel this 88 00:07:02.199 --> 00:07:09.120 deep level of connectedness and love and safety, and all we want is our 89 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:14.600 nervous systems to be regulated, honestly, and so when we don't get that, 90 00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:17.560 it does literally feel like death. Sometimes it feels like it's just like 91 00:07:17.639 --> 00:07:26.360 we would do anything to just have it back. But the problem with only 92 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:31.879 ever getting your source of love and stability and really regulating your nervous system from 93 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:39.879 everything external is that it's not as consistent as you needed to be. External 94 00:07:39.959 --> 00:07:43.720 love and external things that make you feel a certain way. It ebbs and 95 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:49.639 flows. It ebbs and flows because it's external, so that driving force is 96 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:54.680 out of your control. The person that is giving you the feeling of love, 97 00:07:55.079 --> 00:07:57.800 they have their own things going on in their life, which is going 98 00:07:57.800 --> 00:08:01.560 to affect the way that they show up their capacity to give you love or 99 00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:11.000 not. And the only source of consistent, grounded, regulated type of love 100 00:08:11.399 --> 00:08:15.920 that you are really going to get is the source from within. And I 101 00:08:15.959 --> 00:08:18.399 want to make a little side note here because I used to always hear people 102 00:08:18.439 --> 00:08:22.240 say you need to love yourself. Love yourself first. The only thing that 103 00:08:22.279 --> 00:08:28.079 matters is the love that you are creating internally for yourself. And on one 104 00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:33.360 hand, it is right. It is actually the most important thing that you 105 00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:37.600 could cultivate within yourself. But is not to look at relying on external love 106 00:08:37.720 --> 00:08:43.720 or validation or anything as something that you can't have or that you shouldn't rely 107 00:08:43.799 --> 00:08:46.799 on, or that you shouldn't want, because realistically, you did not come 108 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:52.840 here on earth to just be born and cultivate love and just be on an 109 00:08:52.840 --> 00:09:00.240 island by yourself, loving yourself and needing nobody ever we're human beings. We 110 00:09:00.279 --> 00:09:03.039 are literally wired for connection. So for you to tell yourself, okay, 111 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:07.000 well, I'm just going to be in this fully full state of self love 112 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:11.360 and I'm never going to need anyone, that's obviously it's very naive to think, 113 00:09:11.399 --> 00:09:13.919 because you even think about a child, like a child needs its mom 114 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:16.559 and needs his dad and needs a community, it needs everything, all of 115 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:20.720 these moving parts. Okay. So it's not to demonize external love, validation, 116 00:09:22.039 --> 00:09:26.879 wanting things outside of yourself instead of looking at it like I need all 117 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:31.519 of this external love and validation, even I want, I want, I 118 00:09:31.639 --> 00:09:35.480 want so bad. It's more so looking at it like it would be great, 119 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:39.639 it would be in a great addition to my life. I would love 120 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:43.519 to experience it, but I don't need it and I don't want it to 121 00:09:43.559 --> 00:09:48.799 the point where I can't be grounded and feel love within myself without it. 122 00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:52.960 So if you're feeling a lack of love in your life right now, you're 123 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:58.600 feeling alone, you're feeling heartbroken, you're just feeling like empty, empty, 124 00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:05.519 empty empty, it's a good indicator that it's time to start to cultivate some 125 00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:09.639 self love, some real love within you and realistically for again, I'm going 126 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:13.960 to look at it from a law of attraction standpoint being the change will create 127 00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:20.000 more of that positive outcome that you want, which is love. So how 128 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:24.240 do we feel love again? How do we feel and cultivate this feeling of 129 00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:30.080 love withinside of us? Because that is something that I really had to cultivate 130 00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:33.360 a lot in the past week and kind of get myself back to where I 131 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:37.960 needed to be. And also something that I realized that I lost a little 132 00:10:37.159 --> 00:10:43.440 part of that my ability to consistently sustain this feeling of love within myself and 133 00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:50.000 happiness and safety, and I lost a little bit of that because naturally, 134 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:54.440 when you start to get a lot of that from external resources, aka let's 135 00:10:54.440 --> 00:11:00.799 say you're in a relationship, naturally you kind of fall off of your natural 136 00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:03.519 ability to give that to yourself, which is totally fine, is normal, 137 00:11:03.679 --> 00:11:07.320 especially when you have attachment issues, like it feels so nice to have somebody 138 00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:09.759 just give you that love, right when, especially when you've been doing that 139 00:11:09.879 --> 00:11:11.879 all of your life, or you've been single for a long time and you've 140 00:11:11.879 --> 00:11:15.639 been given you've been loving on yourself girl, and you're just trying to get 141 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:18.200 that love on somebody else for once, like, totally fine, but it's 142 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:20.679 just to realize, Okay, there's a lesson to be learned here. Maybe 143 00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:24.519 I lost myself a little bit, Maybe I fell off of my self love 144 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:28.840 routines a little bit too much. So how do I cultivate this back within 145 00:11:28.919 --> 00:11:31.600 myself? And also, again, if we're going to look at it from 146 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:35.639 a law of attraction standpoint, once you start bringing your energy towards yourself, 147 00:11:35.679 --> 00:11:41.519 start cultivating that love within yourself, usually what happens is the people conform. 148 00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:48.720 So when I was younger, I thought what loving myself meant was accepting myself 149 00:11:48.840 --> 00:11:52.639 when I looked beautiful, when I had the body, when I had the 150 00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:58.039 skin, when I had the money, the clothes, or whatever. Those 151 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:01.240 are the only times that I really loved myself. When I looked my absolute 152 00:12:01.320 --> 00:12:05.200 best, when I showed up, when I finished a project, when I 153 00:12:05.240 --> 00:12:09.840 did the task, when I was a good girl, when I X, 154 00:12:09.960 --> 00:12:16.039 Y, and Z, I basically had conditional love for myself. I only 155 00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:20.799 loved myself when I accomplished something, when I looked good. I never, 156 00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:26.240 never, never, never actually loved myself on the days that I didn't look 157 00:12:26.279 --> 00:12:31.879 good, that I slacked, when I was going through something when I was 158 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:39.840 confused with life, when I was breaking down in my emotions because I didn't 159 00:12:39.879 --> 00:12:43.919 know how to handle them, and instead of accepting and loving on myself, 160 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:48.399 I got really mad at myself. And I think sometimes we slip up. 161 00:12:48.440 --> 00:12:52.600 I've even slipped up on this too, thinking that loving myself is doing these 162 00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:56.519 self care practices and spending time doing my hair and making sure that I looked 163 00:12:56.519 --> 00:13:01.960 great, and making sure that my life is romantic sized and all of these 164 00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:05.879 things, which are great things to do, amazing things to do. But 165 00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:09.960 there's a whole other side of loving yourself, which I think is so important, 166 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:13.240 and I don't think a lot of us really actually ever learned to cultivate, 167 00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:16.559 especially if you didn't have a parent who unconditionally loved you. So I'm 168 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:20.399 going to read out a few things that I wrote down in my journal the 169 00:13:20.440 --> 00:13:24.720 other day when I asked myself the question what does it really mean to love 170 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:31.799 yourself? And I do want to say one thing. I thankfully had a 171 00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:37.440 mother who showed me unconditional love. She loved me no matter what, she 172 00:13:37.519 --> 00:13:43.360 accepted me, no matter what she still to this day, no matter what 173 00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:46.159 I do, no matter what I say. She is a ride or die. 174 00:13:46.360 --> 00:13:52.320 So I do think my ability to be able to tap into unconditionally loving 175 00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:56.679 myself or others is a little bit I don't even want to say easier because 176 00:13:56.679 --> 00:14:01.080 I'll tell you why it wasn't at the same time, but I do think 177 00:14:01.080 --> 00:14:05.879 that I'm able to recognize what unconditional love might feel like or look like. 178 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.159 And again, these are just my definitions, like everyone has their own, 179 00:14:09.799 --> 00:14:16.559 but I have witnessed it. I have been unconditionally loved my mother, and 180 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:20.799 really only recently have I really learned how to unconditionally love myself. And that 181 00:14:22.039 --> 00:14:24.879 I am telling you changed my whole entire game. It changed the whole entire 182 00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:31.240 game when it came to my glow up and just so much. So we're 183 00:14:31.279 --> 00:14:33.120 going to get into that. But one thing I want to say is I 184 00:14:33.279 --> 00:14:39.879 still struggled with loving myself for so many other reasons, Like naturally, when 185 00:14:39.919 --> 00:14:43.960 you are in high school and you're going through puberty and your body's changing and 186 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:50.039 you're trying to be accepted in society, you naturally will start to not like 187 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:54.559 yourself and put conditions on yourself and only like yourself when you fit in, 188 00:14:54.679 --> 00:14:58.519 or only like yourself when your hair looks like those girls, or when your 189 00:14:58.519 --> 00:15:01.320 body looks like those girls, or ex y and Z. On top of 190 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:05.799 that, I did have a father who was the complete opposite then my mom, 191 00:15:05.080 --> 00:15:09.879 so I picked up that very much so tyrant of a voice which was 192 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:13.840 very harsh and critical on myself. So it took me many, many, 193 00:15:13.960 --> 00:15:20.399 many many years to even be able to basically self accept myself, because honestly, 194 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:26.159 loving yourself is accepting yourself for all of you, not accepting yourself for 195 00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:30.840 only the half side of when you do everything perfect and amazing, for the 196 00:15:31.080 --> 00:15:37.639 whole other side, the messy side, the unconventional side, the shadow side. 197 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:41.240 Realistically, so let me read out a few things that I wrote that 198 00:15:41.320 --> 00:15:50.759 I really do believe is the representation of actually loving yourself. Loving yourself is 199 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:54.440 carrying yourself on the days that you don't actually love yourself, like you know, 200 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:58.759 when you have those days where you know you're not loving yourself, you're 201 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:02.639 looking in the mirror and you're eating every part of yourself and you're critical and 202 00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:07.679 you're sabotaged and you're falling off your routines and everything. If you can still 203 00:16:07.799 --> 00:16:12.799 love yourself and accept that state of being, that is a form of self 204 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:18.600 love. Another thing I wrote, loving yourself is creating a life for yourself 205 00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:22.519 to be able to hold you a little bit better on the days that you 206 00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:26.120 actually fall down. This is something that I've been thinking about every single time 207 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:32.960 I move and up level my life and glow up and just continue to evolve. 208 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:41.080 I continue to create a beautiful home environment, I create financial stability for 209 00:16:41.159 --> 00:16:45.639 myself, I create time freedom, all of these amazing, beautiful things I 210 00:16:45.720 --> 00:16:51.519 keep creating for myself. And I think that all of these things that I'm 211 00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:55.240 creating for myself, the life that I'm creating for myself, is a form 212 00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:59.960 of loving myself, because realistically, I'm still going to have bad days. 213 00:17:00.519 --> 00:17:03.919 And you know what, I will tell you something. The bad days don't 214 00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:07.359 feel so bad when you are out of the trap house, when you have 215 00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:11.880 money to take off of work, when you can lay in your bed for 216 00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:15.160 five days and not worry about a paycheck. And I experience that because I 217 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:19.480 decide to take certain action steps so that I can create the life that I 218 00:17:19.559 --> 00:17:23.480 want, of course so that I can enjoy it and be amazing, but 219 00:17:23.519 --> 00:17:27.480 also so I can have this life to carry me through my bad days. 220 00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:32.759 So just a little bit of inspiration for you if you're wondering sometimes when you're 221 00:17:32.759 --> 00:17:34.640 getting up and you're trying to go to the gym, you're working hard, 222 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:40.400 or you're grinding and you're on your path, that there is a reason that 223 00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:45.000 you are doing this, even beyond you experiencing what it's going to feel like 224 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:48.599 to have all the money, the time, freedom, the everything. You're 225 00:17:48.599 --> 00:17:52.160 going to have those bad days still, but they're going to feel a lot 226 00:17:52.519 --> 00:17:56.559 better, a lot manageable, because you've decided to get up and work towards 227 00:17:56.559 --> 00:18:00.559 your dream life. And every time that I'm sick, every time that I've 228 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:04.119 been going through something, I always just sit in gratitude for the old version 229 00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:08.720 of me that decided to love herself enough to get up and create this life 230 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.240 so that I could be carried in these moments where I needed to just relax 231 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:17.440 and chill and not feel like the way of the world was on me. 232 00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:22.000 Another thing I wrote, loving yourself is knowing that you are okay, not 233 00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:26.000 that you will be okay. So let me expand on that a little bit. 234 00:18:26.119 --> 00:18:32.559 There's a difference between you being in the state of I am okay as 235 00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:36.960 I am right now. Nothing needs to change. I don't need to go 236 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:40.880 back, I don't need to go forward. I am okay in all of 237 00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:45.599 my glory, all my messiness, all my everything, versus trying to tell 238 00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:48.680 yourself, Okay, you're not okay right now, but you will be okay. 239 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:52.599 Don't worry, You'll be okay eventually, eventually, eventually in the future 240 00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:56.599 when you get up tomorrow the next day. Right now is really bad, 241 00:18:56.759 --> 00:19:00.039 but don't worry. In a few days, you'll be better. Now. 242 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.200 Listen. Obviously, it's a great affirmation to tell yourself that sometimes, and 243 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:07.480 we need to. Of course, there's duality and everything. We can accept 244 00:19:07.519 --> 00:19:14.400 that as truth. But sometimes what loving yourself really is is not saying that 245 00:19:14.599 --> 00:19:17.480 in a few days you'll be okay. It's fine. No, we can 246 00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:21.480 be okay right now. We can accept what is going on right now. 247 00:19:21.799 --> 00:19:26.880 We are safe with ourselves right now. That is a form of loving yourself. 248 00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:33.640 Another thing that I wrote is that loving yourself is not running away from 249 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:40.160 yourself anymore. Sometimes when we aren't feeling okay, we want to run away 250 00:19:40.200 --> 00:19:45.640 from that feeling of not feeling okay by doing self care routines or getting busy 251 00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:52.160 or being productive or doing X, Y and Z to get this feeling away. 252 00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:56.519 On one hand, yes, let's not demonize that. That's amazing, 253 00:19:56.880 --> 00:20:03.960 okay, but a lot of us don't ever do the opposite, which is 254 00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:08.440 not running away from that feeling of I'm alone right now. I feel empty 255 00:20:08.559 --> 00:20:12.920 right now, I don't know how to be in this stillness. I feel 256 00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:18.000 abandoned. I don't want to be with myself right now. I don't like 257 00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:23.279 my life because of course it doesn't feel good. Of course it doesn't feel 258 00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:27.440 good to be in any sort of negative emotion. But the truth is we 259 00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:32.359 have an inner child that is feeling that way, and sometimes what we do 260 00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:36.400 is we want to slap a self care routine on top of that inner child 261 00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:40.279 that is feeling abandoned or alone so that it can be quiet, so that 262 00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:44.680 I can stop feeling what it feels, which is realistically a feeling that I 263 00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:48.640 probably felt in childhood from maybe a parent or something in its environment. Now 264 00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:52.000 you might ask a question, Okay, so do I just not do self 265 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:56.519 love practices to make myself feel better? And you can totally do that, 266 00:20:56.680 --> 00:21:02.400 but this is what this is what I notice in myself when I am trying 267 00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:06.799 to do all of these self care practices and more routines and more to do 268 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:11.759 lists and more goals and more, you know, like doing all of these 269 00:21:11.880 --> 00:21:15.559 random things or not random, just normal things to get my mind off of 270 00:21:15.599 --> 00:21:21.359 things. If I still feel alone, I still feel anxiety, I still 271 00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:26.319 feel like empty, then that's a good indicator that these are not the things 272 00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:29.799 that I actually need that's going to make myself feel better. And realistically, 273 00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:33.799 I'm only looking at these I'm only doing these things in hopes that it will 274 00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:38.839 take away this feeling of abandonment and loneliness. And realistically, if I'm still 275 00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:42.920 feeling abandonment and loneliness and anxiousness as I'm doing these things, then listen, 276 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:45.279 these things are not These are great things where they're not going to work. 277 00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:51.200 Right now, I am going to sit with myself and my inner child because 278 00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:55.160 she needs me right now. She needs me to stop running away from her. 279 00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:59.119 She needs me to just sit in the corner with her where she's sitting 280 00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:03.000 right now and cry with her and say I see you, I feel you, 281 00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:10.119 I'm experiencing you. I'm validating that it does feel like crap right now 282 00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:15.359 to feel this alone, because sometimes what we actually really need is we need 283 00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.559 resonance, our inner child just needs you to be there and say, yes, 284 00:22:18.759 --> 00:22:23.160 it sucks right now, Oh my gosh, let's cry it out. 285 00:22:23.559 --> 00:22:29.319 Let's get angry, let's get mad, let's get whatever it is, and 286 00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:34.640 just process the emotion, let it out. Sometimes you just need to let 287 00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:38.559 a baby cry. And I don't mean the type of crying where the parent 288 00:22:38.640 --> 00:22:41.960 just leaves it and hopes that it will just stop crying on its own. 289 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:45.880 No, I mean like, go with it and cry with it. You 290 00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:48.279 know. I don't actually mean that, because that's not what you do when 291 00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:51.960 you're a parent. But you know, sometimes you just got to be there 292 00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:55.759 with yourself and you need to feel the feeling and feel it all the way 293 00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:59.960 through. Something that I talked about in my mental health reset day, which 294 00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:03.880 again is on my main channel, is before I was even able or not 295 00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:07.920 even able, because I've done this so many times, but before I decided 296 00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:11.759 to do any self care self love practices, you know, getting back into 297 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:15.480 routines and doing things that make me feel good, listening to music and doing 298 00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:18.359 all that kind of stuff, right, all the great things. The first 299 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:23.359 thing I actually did was sit down in journal and literally were dumb and put 300 00:23:23.400 --> 00:23:29.559 all my feelings out on the table, the feeling of disappointment, the sadness, 301 00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:33.160 the anger, that all the emotions that I really was trying to suppress 302 00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:36.319 by Okay, I'm going to have a self care day and do my nails 303 00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:38.119 and do my hair and like hang out with my friends and look hot and 304 00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:42.720 like remind myself that I'm so amazing. Like those are not the things that 305 00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:48.440 are going to help me right now. Honestly, I allowed myself to experience 306 00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:51.519 all of the ranges of emotions that were deep down within me anyways, and 307 00:23:51.519 --> 00:23:52.960 I knew that if I didn't do that, it was just going to suppress 308 00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:56.279 and they were just going to come out eventually, and I'd rather not. 309 00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:03.559 I'd rather not let them come out when the time is not right. Instead 310 00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:07.119 be there with myself, take a night, journal things out, let myself 311 00:24:07.160 --> 00:24:11.640 cry. Girl. I cried, girl. I'd had a whole death inner 312 00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:15.839 rebirth. I cried a multiple times, honey. And every single time I 313 00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:19.920 do that, it feels so good, and I listen. I know it's 314 00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:23.440 easier said than done, because I'm somebody who has done that so many times, 315 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:29.359 and I've seen so much benefit out of releasing and releasing again and releasing 316 00:24:29.400 --> 00:24:32.519 again and purging and just letting it all out. But I know it can 317 00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:34.599 be scary. It can be scary for people. There's people who are literally 318 00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:40.559 like sixty seventy years old and never have actually let themselves feel emotions like that, 319 00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:44.920 and it's so scary. It takes people years of therapy sometimes to even 320 00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:47.839 get to that point. So I understand that it's harder said than done. 321 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:52.559 You might want to even try and do that with a therapist instead of doing 322 00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:55.640 it on your own. Like there's a lot of because really what you're doing 323 00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:00.599 is you're like sometimes you're processing, you're processing trauma really, so obviously, 324 00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:04.279 if you can let yourself do that, then that's amazing. But nine times 325 00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:07.680 out of ten, you're gonna feel so much better, so much better, 326 00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:12.400 so much better. Okay, another thing that I wrote, loving Yourself is 327 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:18.519 allowing yourself to do messy things that you know that you'll need to pick the 328 00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:22.599 pieces up from and still doing it. Anyways, Now I'll give you a 329 00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:29.200 quick example, because obviously we don't want to make these irrational decisions in our 330 00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:32.000 lives to the point where we have to pick up a pieces like we ruined 331 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:33.680 our entire lives. Like obviously not, but this is how I would think 332 00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:38.000 about it. Let's say you have a baby, a little toddler, let's 333 00:25:38.039 --> 00:25:42.640 say, and you have baby powder in your hand, and it's grabbing it 334 00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:45.880 and it wants to play with the bottle, and you're like, okay, 335 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:48.640 here, you can have a play with it whatever, But you know, 336 00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:52.200 you got to kind of be careful because if the baby gets too crazy with 337 00:25:52.279 --> 00:25:56.119 it, like the baby powder is going everywhere, and you start to see 338 00:25:56.119 --> 00:26:00.559 the baby get a little bit too chaotic with the bot and it's trying to 339 00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:06.000 turn it around and dump it and whatever. You could take it out of 340 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:07.000 its hands and be like, hey, no, we're not gonna go there, 341 00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:11.480 because it's going to create a huge mess. Or you know, you 342 00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:14.400 start to see that the baby's kind of like tipping over the baby powder a 343 00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:17.720 little bit and it's kind of getting everywhere, and like it's already kind of 344 00:26:17.720 --> 00:26:21.119 creating a mess, and you can tell that the baby is having so much 345 00:26:21.119 --> 00:26:25.400 fun with it, and you're like, you know what, just have fun 346 00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:29.839 with it, and you let the baby just dump it everywhere. Baby power 347 00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:33.480 is going everywhere, but the baby's laughing, You're laughing. It's a great 348 00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:37.920 time and you're just saying, you know, what effort it is, what 349 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:41.240 it is, I can clean this up. It's gonna be fine. That's 350 00:26:41.240 --> 00:26:45.400 the energy sometimes that we need to allow ourselves to be in. Again, 351 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:49.799 of course we've got to be careful with is it baby powder or is it 352 00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:52.839 like our whole life savings that we're trying to invest something, And no, 353 00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:56.279 we don't want to do that, but sometimes we just need to let our 354 00:26:56.319 --> 00:27:00.240 hair down. We just need to allow ourselves to get messy, to make 355 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:06.240 a mistake, to have fun, to not be so picture perfect, pretty 356 00:27:06.279 --> 00:27:11.920 proper in this box and just let ourselves have our way and enjoy it and 357 00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:17.119 love ourselves through that, through that mess. Instead of getting mad at the 358 00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:18.680 baby for making a mess and oh my gosh, now I'm gonna have to 359 00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:23.440 clean up everything, you're just looking at the baby like I love you anyways. 360 00:27:25.079 --> 00:27:27.519 I literally love you. I couldn't not love you. And that's bringing 361 00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:33.559 it back to how I always experience my mom looking at me. It's like, 362 00:27:33.640 --> 00:27:36.960 no matter how big of a mess, she's like, I love you 363 00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:40.039 anyways, Like you're just I can't not love you, you know. And 364 00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:42.920 I think that we really need to start having that same energy towards ourselves, 365 00:27:44.119 --> 00:27:48.039 especially when we make mistakes. Okay, I'm not saying to make a bunch 366 00:27:48.039 --> 00:27:52.319 of mistakes in your life, but just can you just allow yourself to make 367 00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:56.119 a mistake for once, Like, is it really that big of a deal. 368 00:27:56.279 --> 00:27:59.279 It's probably not. It's probably not. And you need to have more 369 00:27:59.319 --> 00:28:04.759 love and more race and more childlike energy towards yourself when it comes to mistakes 370 00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:11.680 and just being messy and doing things and experiencing life. Another thing I wrote 371 00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:15.720 loving yourself is taking off the timeline of when you need to get back to 372 00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:23.079 being more yourself again. It's this energy of really not fully accepting who we 373 00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:29.640 are in this moment when we're not feeling our best or our lives are feeling 374 00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:33.359 a little bit chaotic or unknown, or we don't know the answer, we 375 00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:37.839 don't know the path. We live in a society that's just like go, 376 00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:41.200 go go. We need the answer now, and we need to continue to 377 00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:45.359 go and we need to be perfect and if not, it's unsafe, and 378 00:28:45.480 --> 00:28:49.319 it's really not unsafe, we just perceive it to be unsafe. And so 379 00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:55.160 when you're feeling like you're a little bit lost, allow yourself to be lost. 380 00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:00.519 Allow yourself to not have a timeline on when you need to get back 381 00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:03.920 to it. And I get it. We have work, we have responsibilities, 382 00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:07.200 we have X, Y and Z, But even when we have those 383 00:29:07.240 --> 00:29:11.000 things, we don't need to be one hundred percent. I've told myself, 384 00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:15.039 even even like this past week when I've been sick again, I'm very good 385 00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:18.319 at doing this with myself now too. It's like, of course, eventually 386 00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:22.640 I need to get back to podcasting, making YouTube videos, doing my work, 387 00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:26.759 but I also don't need to be one hundred percent. I don't need 388 00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:32.839 to like feel one hundred percent, or make the most viral video or look 389 00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:36.880 the absolute best whatever. Just show up how you are in this moment, 390 00:29:36.880 --> 00:29:41.359 and that is good enough. Another thing I wrote loving yourself is to listen 391 00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:48.079 to when your gut says time is up. This is something that I do 392 00:29:48.519 --> 00:29:55.240 think is a big issue with us females. We have this beautiful intuition, 393 00:29:55.759 --> 00:30:00.880 We have this beautiful gut instinct that we ignore time and time again, and 394 00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:07.240 I think one of the most self loving acts that we can do for ourselves 395 00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:12.839 is to honor that feeling and let our intuition tell us when the time is 396 00:30:12.920 --> 00:30:17.920 up, and to listen to that, because realistically, when we have this 397 00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:21.880 gut instinct that this is not it, this is not the one, this 398 00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:25.240 is not the time, you're going through the same thing over and over again. 399 00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:27.359 This is your intuition trying to kick in it to be like, Hi, 400 00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:32.240 I need you to start loving on me. You are not loving on 401 00:30:32.359 --> 00:30:34.759 me, you are not listening to me. So really, when you feel 402 00:30:34.839 --> 00:30:41.319 this gut instinct with anything in your life, remind yourself it's an act of 403 00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:48.200 self love and kindness to yourself to listen to your intuition, because you know 404 00:30:48.279 --> 00:30:53.920 the answer that is something that is It's a journey. And it's kind of 405 00:30:53.960 --> 00:31:02.799 sad that we look outside of ourselves for so many answers, so much guidance, 406 00:31:03.279 --> 00:31:07.240 so much inspiration, so much motivation, so much to tell us what 407 00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:11.799 to do, to tell us the right answer what we should do now. 408 00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:17.319 Obviously, it's great to have people to guide you and to influence you, 409 00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:19.559 and we need that because we are human beings and we are connected, and 410 00:31:19.599 --> 00:31:26.440 we need community and we need support. But realistically, we do and we 411 00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:34.680 can source at answer within ourselves and the way that we're going to strengthen that 412 00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:41.680 relationship and that trust muscle is by not ignoring when our intuition tells us time 413 00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:47.039 is up, this is not right, something is off. So please start 414 00:31:47.400 --> 00:31:52.279 to listen to yourself, to your inner knowing, even if you cannot act 415 00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:56.720 on it in that moment, start getting better at listening to it. A 416 00:31:56.839 --> 00:32:00.799 practice that is really good that I'm actually going to be restarting now that the 417 00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:05.720 summer months are here is having a very deep spiritual morning practice. And if 418 00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:07.519 you guys want me to do maybe a video, a YouTube video on that 419 00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:10.240 I could. I used to do it. I was just looking at my 420 00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:15.480 archives on my Instagram and I was just like, so, I was in 421 00:32:15.559 --> 00:32:21.599 such a good vibe last summer of doing this, but just waking up, 422 00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:27.119 lighting some incense, pulling a Goddess card and writing out what I'm feeling, 423 00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:31.119 what I'm thinking, what my higher self wants me to really channel today. 424 00:32:31.640 --> 00:32:36.440 And that is such a good practice for you to have, is to really 425 00:32:36.480 --> 00:32:42.160 just connect with yourself before anything else in the morning. And I think that 426 00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:45.359 it's even nicer when the sun is out and you can go outside or even 427 00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:51.440 just opening up a window and just having that peace and stillness and for you 428 00:32:51.480 --> 00:32:55.440 again to connect to that inner knowing that you actually do have within you, 429 00:32:55.640 --> 00:33:00.720 and you will find some profound answers. It's not even actually about finding answers, 430 00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:02.960 but they will come to you. You will have them, you will 431 00:33:02.960 --> 00:33:07.119 have insights, you will have something the more times you do it. And 432 00:33:07.319 --> 00:33:12.039 in the past week, I have been doing this and I have gotten profound 433 00:33:12.119 --> 00:33:20.119 answers, so much guidance, so much wisdom, so many ideas, so 434 00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:25.440 many places that I'm going to take myself this summer from simply reconnecting to myself 435 00:33:25.440 --> 00:33:30.720 in the mornings and for me personally, kind of stepping into my higher self 436 00:33:30.720 --> 00:33:35.440 and asking my higher self like what does my higher self want me to know 437 00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:38.440 today? And also just writing out anything that I'm currently feeling. And the 438 00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:44.200 more times that I do that, it just leads me to profound realizations, 439 00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:47.319 answers, wisdom, whatever. Okay, the last thing that I wrote, 440 00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:54.319 loving yourself is an act of allowing allowing yourself to be exactly who you are 441 00:33:54.400 --> 00:33:59.759 in this moment when you haven't before. And I had a little dialogue here, 442 00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:02.759 so I wrote a little rebuttal and I feel like maybe some of you 443 00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:07.960 might have thought about this before, but won't I lose myself if I just 444 00:34:08.039 --> 00:34:12.280 allow myself to be. If you think about it, right, if I 445 00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:16.000 accept my body for what it is, or my looks, or my financial 446 00:34:16.039 --> 00:34:22.800 status or my current life, won't I just stay the same. I'm scared 447 00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:27.800 of that. There's a lot of women who are very high achieving who struggle 448 00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:30.239 with self love and accepting themselves because they're like, well, if I do 449 00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:34.679 that, then I'm I don't trust that. I'm not going to continue to 450 00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:39.159 create more success and be more financially free or have this accolade or that accolade. 451 00:34:39.239 --> 00:34:45.159 And what I wrote here was no, you won't lose yourself because there 452 00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:50.679 is duality in everything, which means loving yourself means doing what is best for 453 00:34:50.760 --> 00:34:53.559 you in that moment, and what is best for you and every single moment 454 00:34:53.719 --> 00:35:00.000 is not always staying the same, is not always not having any discipline, 455 00:35:00.280 --> 00:35:06.599 is not always accepting everything all the time and just relaxing and chilling. There's 456 00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:09.079 the opposite of that. So let's talk about that, because I think a 457 00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:14.960 lot of people struggle with self acceptance and loving themselves because they're like, Okay, 458 00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.360 well let me try to not judge myself and accept myself and whatever. 459 00:35:19.400 --> 00:35:22.719 But then they still have this desire, and of course you live in reality. 460 00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:25.199 You still have things you need to work towards. You need to get 461 00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:28.199 up and you need to go, and you need to do the self care 462 00:35:28.280 --> 00:35:30.800 routines and the practices, and you need to be a part of society. 463 00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:36.360 So how do I balance? How do I balance letting myself rest, the 464 00:35:36.440 --> 00:35:43.159 feminine, the receiving, the relaxing, the soft life, but also the 465 00:35:43.239 --> 00:35:46.800 masculine, the getting things done, the making sure that you know, we 466 00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:50.960 have some structures, we have some walls, we have some goals, we 467 00:35:51.039 --> 00:35:54.440 have some direction, And I think the first thing that you need to do 468 00:35:54.599 --> 00:36:00.199 is to actually listen to what you need in this moment. You need to 469 00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:06.199 tune in to what your needs and wants are in this moment. And this 470 00:36:06.280 --> 00:36:09.840 brings me to that question that you're going to be asking yourself a lot this 471 00:36:09.880 --> 00:36:15.079 summer. What would somebody who loves themselves do? Now? This is going 472 00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:21.039 to be absolutely so unique to yourself because it is based off of what you 473 00:36:21.079 --> 00:36:25.679 are currently going through and what you need. So maybe what the most loving 474 00:36:25.840 --> 00:36:30.320 thing for you to do for yourself right now is to put your phone down 475 00:36:30.679 --> 00:36:35.280 and stop waiting for a text. Maybe the most loving thing for you to 476 00:36:35.320 --> 00:36:38.559 do right now is to take another sick day because you are actually sick, 477 00:36:38.920 --> 00:36:44.760 instead of you trying to continue to push yourself and work through it. Maybe 478 00:36:44.760 --> 00:36:49.480 the most loving thing for you to do for yourself is to stop forcing yourself 479 00:36:49.519 --> 00:36:52.000 to try to come up with an answer, the answer that you've told yourself 480 00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:57.360 that you need to come to, the decision that you told yourself you need 481 00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:00.440 to make right now in this moment. Maybe the most self loving thing for 482 00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:06.079 you to do is to finally go and ask somebody for help so you stop 483 00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:08.679 feeling like the weight of the world is on you. Or maybe the most 484 00:37:08.679 --> 00:37:13.519 self loving thing for you to do right now is to allow yourself to miss 485 00:37:13.599 --> 00:37:17.519 somebody who didn't treat you right. The thing is only you are going to 486 00:37:17.559 --> 00:37:22.840 know what you need, which is also so empowering, right because I could 487 00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:27.719 tell you that you should take another sick day, or maybe you should get 488 00:37:27.800 --> 00:37:30.760 up and just go to work. But the thing is only you know. 489 00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:37.760 Only you know how not accepting you have been of yourself, or how much 490 00:37:37.800 --> 00:37:42.039 you've probably been slacking on the goals in which the most self loving thing for 491 00:37:42.079 --> 00:37:45.360 you to do is for you to add more discipline into your life. It's 492 00:37:45.400 --> 00:37:47.960 going to take a big level of self awareness, and it's going to take 493 00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:53.360 a lot of learning curves because sometimes we have a skewed perception of what we 494 00:37:53.559 --> 00:37:58.320 think that we need for ourselves, which is good to always get guidance, 495 00:37:58.440 --> 00:38:00.760 good to listen to podcasts of core, etc. So you can kind of 496 00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:07.199 recalibrate yourself right because you might truly believe that you need another workout even though 497 00:38:07.239 --> 00:38:12.079 you've been working out literally for the past twenty days straight. Or you actually 498 00:38:12.119 --> 00:38:15.760 are convinced that you need to eat thirteen hundred calories because you have the skewed 499 00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:19.960 perception of how you should look, or you should feel, or you should 500 00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:22.880 be eating in life, and then sometimes it's actually not really that helpful. 501 00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:27.840 So you need to see all the decisions that you currently have been making for 502 00:38:27.960 --> 00:38:30.440 yourself and see are they really getting you to where you want to go? 503 00:38:31.159 --> 00:38:35.559 Is the thirteen hundred calories that you've been eating forever is it really getting you 504 00:38:35.599 --> 00:38:39.159 anywhere? If it's not, then maybe you need to reevaluate is this really 505 00:38:39.159 --> 00:38:44.079 a self loving thing for me? Or let's say you're never letting yourself have 506 00:38:44.119 --> 00:38:47.000 any time off and you're working through every day that you're sick or you're just 507 00:38:47.119 --> 00:38:51.519 you're working all the time. Well, is that actually helping you or is 508 00:38:51.519 --> 00:38:53.519 it hurting you? Are you burnt out? Okay? So if you're burnt 509 00:38:53.519 --> 00:38:58.920 out, then maybe the decisions that you are making for yourself might be a 510 00:38:58.960 --> 00:39:02.079 little bit skewed. Maybe what you actually need is to take a day off, 511 00:39:02.280 --> 00:39:06.239 or you need to pull back on something, or you need to recalibrate 512 00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:09.519 your mindset, you need to reset your mental health and listen. This is 513 00:39:09.559 --> 00:39:14.760 a journey, a process, but this is something that you can take with 514 00:39:14.880 --> 00:39:19.800 you in any moment that when you're about to make a decision, what would 515 00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:24.679 somebody who loves themselves do? What is the highest, most good decision for 516 00:39:24.800 --> 00:39:29.920 myself? Is it really to keep scrolling on TikTok past my bedtime when I've 517 00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:31.760 told myself that I needed to go to sleep. Is it really waiting up 518 00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:36.280 for somebody who hasn't been waiting up for me? Is it really putting off 519 00:39:36.599 --> 00:39:39.519 all am I to do lists to another day just to streuss myself out more. 520 00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:43.199 These are things that only you are going to know the answer to. 521 00:39:44.039 --> 00:39:46.880 But I want you to start trusting yourself. I want you to start trusting 522 00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:51.679 the answer that comes to you and bringing this whole thing back to the beginning 523 00:39:51.679 --> 00:39:58.920 of this episode of cultivating this feeling of love within ourselves. The more times 524 00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:04.280 that you make these little micro decisions to do things that somebody who loves themselves 525 00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:08.400 would do, you will start to feel love for yourself. You will start 526 00:40:08.440 --> 00:40:15.039 to feel confident, like you trust yourself, like you back yourself, like 527 00:40:15.239 --> 00:40:21.199 you show up for yourself doing these small things for yourself. I promise you, 528 00:40:21.559 --> 00:40:25.719 not only will you feel that internal change within you, you will see 529 00:40:25.719 --> 00:40:30.920 people conform. You will start to see people show up in your life with 530 00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:35.199 that same level of love that you have for yourself. When you have boundaries, 531 00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:38.760 when you're saying no, when you're prioritizing yourself more, those people have 532 00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:44.519 no option but to fall off or to stand up exactly where you are. 533 00:40:44.679 --> 00:40:49.039 Another thing that you can journal on if you want to to get yourself like 534 00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:52.280 really going. If you're just realizing, like I am not loving on myself 535 00:40:52.280 --> 00:40:53.320 girl, like I've been slacking on this, that and the third dad, 536 00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:59.840 and you're really hyper focused on somebody else that's not giving you love or everything 537 00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:02.800 external, then here's a journal pomp for you. What are all the ways 538 00:41:02.840 --> 00:41:09.480 that I've been putting myself last in everyone first and putting yourself last. Sometimes 539 00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:14.800 we don't even see just how much we are putting ourselves last. Like you 540 00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:19.920 sitting in your bed scrolling on TikTok past the time that you told yourself is 541 00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:23.679 putting yourself last, because now you're going past your bedtime, which means you're 542 00:41:23.719 --> 00:41:27.679 going to mess up your sleep, which means in the morning you're gonna be 543 00:41:27.719 --> 00:41:32.360 more tired, more angry maybe or grumpy whatever. You might not have enough 544 00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:37.760 energy to do your workout xyz like those little micro things, or staying up 545 00:41:37.800 --> 00:41:43.679 and waiting around and checking messages to see if somebody would ever again, you're 546 00:41:43.800 --> 00:41:47.400 leaving yourself and you are your focused on on everyone else but yourself. Or 547 00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:52.159 when you're saying yes the plans when you know your body can't handle it right 548 00:41:52.199 --> 00:41:57.519 now, you're tired, you're depleted, you don't have the money, you 549 00:41:57.559 --> 00:42:00.280 don't have the resources, whatever it is, but you're saying yes, you're 550 00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:05.519 putting yourself last again. Or let's say, when you're hyper fixating on a 551 00:42:05.599 --> 00:42:08.400 situation or you're thinking about, well, what should I say to this person 552 00:42:08.440 --> 00:42:12.239 and should I say it? Like this, or you're talking to a million 553 00:42:12.320 --> 00:42:15.400 friends about how you should act or how you should look or whatever. Again, 554 00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:20.239 you're putting yourself last. And a follow up journal prompt that you can 555 00:42:20.239 --> 00:42:22.960 write out as well is what do I need to do to start showing up 556 00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:28.440 for myself more? And I can guarantee you there's five to ten things that 557 00:42:28.519 --> 00:42:31.079 you can list out that you haven't been doing that you need to be doing 558 00:42:31.119 --> 00:42:35.559 for yourself. So do those things. This is the time, guys. 559 00:42:35.719 --> 00:42:42.840 If not now, then when I'm waiting. Yeah, there's no answer. 560 00:42:43.559 --> 00:42:49.280 It's now or never. And again, if this is this, you loving 561 00:42:49.280 --> 00:42:53.880 on yourself should not be why you are trying to get love from someone else 562 00:42:54.039 --> 00:43:01.079 realistically, but realistically as well, you will start to get more of that 563 00:43:01.199 --> 00:43:07.559 love and that consistency in that juiciness of life that you're really wanting to experience 564 00:43:08.039 --> 00:43:12.880 when you start to be the change and you know what, it's okay that 565 00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.119 you want that, it's okay that you want to love from someone else. 566 00:43:15.159 --> 00:43:17.119 You want consistency, you want people showing up a certain way, whatever, 567 00:43:17.880 --> 00:43:24.039 But it starts with you, and the universe is talking through me to you 568 00:43:24.440 --> 00:43:30.480 and telling you it's time for you to choose yourself. It is time for 569 00:43:30.519 --> 00:43:36.000 you to stop waiting for somebody to make you feel what you can feel within 570 00:43:36.039 --> 00:43:39.519 yourself. I know it's hard. I know it's hard. It is something 571 00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:45.480 that I have tried to fight so long in my life because it is hard. 572 00:43:45.679 --> 00:43:50.559 It is messy, it is boring, It is like not the work 573 00:43:50.599 --> 00:43:52.519 that we want to do. We just want somebody else to do it for 574 00:43:52.679 --> 00:43:58.519 us. But I promise you, when you can have fun with it and 575 00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:02.920 you can start really enjoying this process, it's gonna be great. And you 576 00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:07.840 are going to be a magnet for more love and more abundance and more everything. 577 00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:10.719 And I think we're going to talk about that. I think next week's 578 00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:15.800 episode, I want to talk about why you need to romanticize your life because 579 00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:20.960 I think that romanticizing your life and your routines and really enjoying your life and 580 00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:27.519 the process it's going to help you with this relationship with loving yourself, because 581 00:44:27.760 --> 00:44:30.079 you know it's hard work. And we don't want to look at everything as 582 00:44:30.119 --> 00:44:34.679 like boring and hard because in what happens we don't do it. It's so 583 00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:37.360 much easier to go back to the X and wait for the text and wait 584 00:44:37.360 --> 00:44:40.599 for them to make us feel good. But we can't do that because we 585 00:44:40.639 --> 00:44:44.119 know where that leads us. When they don't, when they don't show up, 586 00:44:44.239 --> 00:44:46.400 when they don't text, when they don't X Y and Z, because 587 00:44:46.440 --> 00:44:52.400 people are not consistent. Because that is life. So let me know if 588 00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:54.199 you guys want me to talk about that, romanticizing your life, things of 589 00:44:54.280 --> 00:45:00.920 that. I'm in the era of romanticizing my life, being obsessed with myself. 590 00:45:00.159 --> 00:45:05.199 I don't love saying I'm gonna be obsessed to myself and I'm obsessed to 591 00:45:05.239 --> 00:45:07.840 myself because I know how that comes across. But listen, it is the 592 00:45:08.480 --> 00:45:13.280 time to become obsessed with yourself this summer, and we're gonna do that. 593 00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:15.880 I'm gonna show you how to do that, and we're gonna talk about how 594 00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:19.719 to do that on the podcast and my channel. Okay, all right, 595 00:45:19.920 --> 00:45:22.760 that's it for this episode. I love you guys so much. Rebrand coming 596 00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:27.719 soon for the podcast. Cannot wait, cool things coming for the podcast, 597 00:45:27.800 --> 00:45:30.599 and yeah, I love you guys so much, and I'll see you in 598 00:45:30.639 --> 00:45:30.840 the next one. Bye.