WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:04.639 What's up, y'all. Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I'm your 2 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:21.960 host, Jasmin dan Yale. Today is Saturday, March fourth. My birthday 3 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:26.679 was yesterday. It's been a hell of a week. It's been a hell 4 00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:32.600 of a day. Um Man, it's just so much. It's so fucking 5 00:00:32.719 --> 00:00:40.000 much. Um starting with my birthday. I had to cancel my birthday party 6 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:48.119 because I, um, it was a fucking snowstorm yesterday, and so now 7 00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:51.039 we're still dealing with the remnants of that. You know, a lot of 8 00:00:51.159 --> 00:00:53.799 niggas lost power. I saw a post on Instagram. I said, three 9 00:00:53.880 --> 00:00:58.000 hundred thousand people lost power. Thank god I didn't, and thank god that 10 00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:00.719 I was made aware of the snowstorm. I mean, I do be checking 11 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:04.519 the weather, but I hadn't checked it, you know, for the party, 12 00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:08.079 because my y'all, like Detroit been smooth selling in this bitch with the 13 00:01:08.120 --> 00:01:12.319 weather like it probably didn't snow with a good two or three times a whole 14 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:17.400 fucking winter. So I just wasn't even expecting that. And so one of 15 00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:21.400 my home girls had told me a couple of days before, like girls, 16 00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:23.560 gonna be a real bad snow storm off Friday, and I'm like, what 17 00:01:23.959 --> 00:01:30.959 the fuck. So I had to make the executive decision to cancel the party. 18 00:01:33.400 --> 00:01:37.319 People had already bought tickets. I had to refund people that money. 19 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:42.120 I had already put a lot of money into it, Like I had bought 20 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:46.719 all of the decorations and all of the shit that I needed. I hadn't 21 00:01:46.760 --> 00:01:53.920 paid for the food or like the drinks or nothing like that yet. And 22 00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:57.920 I didn't you know, I didn't pay you know, to rent the space 23 00:01:59.040 --> 00:02:04.120 yet, thank god. Um. And I had bought myself a cake, 24 00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:07.359 which I'm looking I didn't look at this cake two days in a row. 25 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:09.159 I ate a slice, yesterday, I ate a slice to day. I'm 26 00:02:09.159 --> 00:02:13.919 like this big ass fucking cake. Who's gonna eat all this fucking cake? 27 00:02:14.759 --> 00:02:16.800 So, um, I was able to give my money back for like the 28 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:24.120 decorations and shit like that. But another thing with the birthday, UM nine 29 00:02:24.199 --> 00:02:29.039 gonna like yesterday. So yesterday I had taught a class on my birthday and 30 00:02:29.960 --> 00:02:32.400 um, during the day, you know ninety five, it's my slide in 31 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:36.199 the class was really great, turned out, you know what, but not 32 00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:38.479 I try to throw me for a looping class. I got kind of thrown 33 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:47.639 off because I M I created a new playlist for the class, and you 34 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:50.439 know, just trying to switch it up or whatever. I'm like, I 35 00:02:50.479 --> 00:02:53.199 don't want to keep playing the same fucking playlist, But I also feel like 36 00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:55.840 I'm in a space where Jasmine, you need to get comfortable with everything. 37 00:02:55.879 --> 00:03:00.240 So keep that same motherfucking playlist until you know what I'm saying, till it's 38 00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:02.800 time to really move on. You trying to do too much? You still 39 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:06.919 you still in the beginnings that you just started teaching. It's probably like, 40 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:10.360 yo, what fourth maybe fifth class? You could keep the same playlist. 41 00:03:10.439 --> 00:03:15.800 Niggas is not paying attention like that, we're here for the yoga nigga. 42 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:22.319 So I created a new playlist and the length of the songs wasn't matching up 43 00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:25.560 with how long I'm queueing the moves or how long niggas should be doing something. 44 00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:30.360 So that kind of threw me off. And then for whatever reason, 45 00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:34.479 like the speakers or the music whatever just kept fucking up, and I'm like, 46 00:03:34.599 --> 00:03:36.960 oh, why are y'all doing this to me? So I ended I 47 00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:39.360 was able to go back to my original playlist and it ended up working out. 48 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:42.479 But that was the only thing that really threw me. The class went 49 00:03:42.599 --> 00:03:45.319 really well though, I mean, you know, I had my little end, 50 00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:50.080 my little spiel at the end about my birthday, and I also talked 51 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:58.159 about it on Instagram the sign. I also talked about the significance of turning 52 00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:02.280 thirty three. I guess I'll read, I guess I'll read all the little 53 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:09.759 post thirty three on three. Three is a true gift. Thirty three is 54 00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:14.159 a master number in the connection to the divine with enlightened influence, meant to 55 00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:19.240 guide and support humanity. Master number thirty three has the deepest desire to guide, 56 00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:25.759 teach, and nurture others. It's symbolical spiritual evolution. I'm currently walking 57 00:04:25.800 --> 00:04:30.040 into my greatest season. I could feel the transformative energy around my life. 58 00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:33.000 I have trusted my intuition and walk my path. This led to a journey 59 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:38.040 of healing. Every day I was working on healing myself and it has inspired 60 00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:42.800 so many others along the way. Black girl experiences every black girl's journey into 61 00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:46.959 the mental, emotional, and spiritual side of healing. Yoga fell into my 62 00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:49.959 lap when I needed it most. That encouraged me to heal physically. To 63 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:54.519 whom much is given, much is required. I've accepted my gift and I 64 00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:58.560 will forever share with the world. Cheers to another year of life and leveling 65 00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:00.839 up spiritually. Proud to say that I have become the best version of myself 66 00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:05.839 at thirty three. Three. Other people told me that their life changed when 67 00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:09.519 they turned thirty three, and I just really fucking believe it. You know, 68 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:15.040 people say that thirty three is Jesus year. You know, unfortunately a 69 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:16.560 lot of people die at thirty three. That's not where I'm going with it. 70 00:05:16.959 --> 00:05:19.600 But no, like when you think about shit like Nipsey Helseter that Nigga 71 00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:23.720 die when he was thirty three, like that type of shit, like thirty 72 00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:28.160 three really is like spiritual evolution. And I just feel like that's where I'm 73 00:05:28.199 --> 00:05:30.439 at on my path, and you know, everything is really just coming together 74 00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:35.079 to me, and so that is like the driving force in my life right 75 00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:42.160 now. Like anytime anytime something try to throw me off, or anytime an 76 00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:47.079 obstacle tries to come into my way, I just keep coming back to the 77 00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:54.000 fact that everything is aligned. Everything is aligned. You gotta look at any 78 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:58.240 obstacle or anything that comes to throw you off your path. That shit is 79 00:05:58.279 --> 00:06:01.759 a fucking illusion. And you can I accepted, do not accept the illusion, 80 00:06:01.879 --> 00:06:06.800 do not accept the distractions, do not accept the obstacles. You got 81 00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:11.360 to overcome them, bitches. So yeah, three people had told me that 82 00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:14.600 their life changed one turn thirty three. Like I said, I just really 83 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:21.639 believe that. So yeah, the party. I canceled the party. I 84 00:06:21.720 --> 00:06:30.720 was a little bit upset at first, and then I kind of came to 85 00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:34.319 the realization about some things with that. So I had a long conversation with 86 00:06:34.439 --> 00:06:39.560 my homegirl, Panda, my favorite. I had a conversation with her, 87 00:06:39.759 --> 00:06:42.040 and she was just telling me, like, girl, if you don't treat 88 00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:44.519 yourself like the queen that you are, you know what I'm saying, do 89 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:46.240 x Y and Z, do this, do that. It's about you. 90 00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:49.480 Whatever you want to do, treat yourself. And I really had to come 91 00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:54.519 back to that, and I think I kind of lost sight of my birthday. 92 00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:57.120 Like I feel like I was really trying to do it for other niggas 93 00:06:57.160 --> 00:06:59.680 more than I was trying to do it for myself. I care more about 94 00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:03.000 the part party and more about what I was gonna do for other people versus 95 00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:06.319 what it was gonna do for myself. When I mean, of course, 96 00:07:06.480 --> 00:07:11.399 like I wanted a party. I haven't had a birthday party since my sweet 97 00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:14.360 sixteen, so I was kind of excited about it. And it's also something 98 00:07:14.399 --> 00:07:16.079 that I had been putting in the air for a minute, Like I didn't 99 00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:19.879 talked about my birthday on Hella episodes on here like thirty three on three three. 100 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:23.399 That's so I don't like a party. Like so I think I really 101 00:07:23.399 --> 00:07:26.040 just hyped myself up for it, even though I'm not even really like a 102 00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:30.160 party person at this point in my life. And so I'm like, Jazzmine, 103 00:07:30.279 --> 00:07:34.040 what is the gift for your birthday? What is the gift to yourself? 104 00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:36.519 Like what? You know what I'm saying, what is this day about? 105 00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:42.319 And I had to think, like, it's really about me and for 106 00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:46.480 me, the gift nigga fucked. The party, fucked the outcome. The 107 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:55.240 gift to myself was the gift of yoga. Complete my yoga teacher training program, 108 00:07:55.240 --> 00:08:01.399 becoming a certified yoga teacher, actually securing a job opportunity at the yoga 109 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:05.040 studio, you know what I'm saying. And to me, not to come 110 00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:11.759 from like a braggadocious or egotistical type standpoint, but being the first person out 111 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:13.279 of my group to even you know what I'm saying, to have a job 112 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.120 at the studio, so like, and again, I feel like all of 113 00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:20.800 that stuff is just a reflection of how much intention I put into what I 114 00:08:20.879 --> 00:08:24.480 was doing, how much work and you know, like nigga, blood sweat 115 00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:28.000 and tears to be where I am today. And again, like when I 116 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:31.320 wake up in the mornings on the days that I do teach, I'm waking 117 00:08:31.399 --> 00:08:35.440 up with so much fucking gratitude. I'm in the car on my way They're 118 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:41.080 like, I'm so fucking happy that I'm waking up doing something that I love, 119 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:43.960 you know what I'm saying. Just being able to pour into others but 120 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:48.200 still being able to pour back into myself at the same time, Like I've 121 00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:50.200 never been this happy in my life, you know what I'm saying. And 122 00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:54.919 again it goes back to just turning thirty three and everything really aligning and all 123 00:08:54.919 --> 00:08:58.799 of that, Like this shit, like I'm really watching my life change. 124 00:09:00.360 --> 00:09:05.399 So that's the gift, the gift of being able to teach. The gift 125 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:09.840 is me accepting my gift from the universe, understanding that I do have a 126 00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:13.759 purpose and you're here for a reason. You are here to teach you are 127 00:09:13.799 --> 00:09:16.759 here to God. You are here to nurture, You are here to be 128 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:18.480 a light, you are here to shine you. You know what I'm saying, 129 00:09:18.600 --> 00:09:24.080 That's the gift. Fuck the party, Fuck the party, this is 130 00:09:24.120 --> 00:09:28.759 the gift. And then just the realization that, like bro, I worked 131 00:09:28.840 --> 00:09:33.320 so fucking hard for this, like you know what I'm saying, and niggas 132 00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:39.240 cannot Niggas can't take nothing from me. Niggas can't take nothing from me. 133 00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:45.080 So that's that. And you know, yes, it was a crazy as 134 00:09:45.159 --> 00:09:50.799 snowstorm yesterday. Oh I did end up treating myself. I treated myself to 135 00:09:50.840 --> 00:09:56.279 a massage. I ended up going to Yen yoga right after that, treated 136 00:09:56.320 --> 00:09:58.600 myself to dinner and a drink, you know what I'm saying, and just 137 00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:03.399 whatever, Like the day was about me. And then I'm supposed to be 138 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:09.320 doing some more stuff tomorrow, maybe another massage, whatever, yoga like whatever, 139 00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:11.399 but just a lot of fun ship but again, just treating myself. 140 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:22.960 Another realization that I came to and I shared this um yesterday on Instagram. 141 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:26.879 I had a whole little praise break in the car because Stump came on by 142 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:31.559 Kurt Franklin and I was just really feeling the fucking words, Like it was 143 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:37.200 a very powerful moment, Like it was, bro what a whole moment when 144 00:10:37.240 --> 00:10:39.799 that song came on, and again I was just you know, reiterating the 145 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:43.639 fact that, like, I really worked my ass off to get to where 146 00:10:43.639 --> 00:10:46.799 I am. So when y'all see these blessings raining down on your girl, 147 00:10:48.039 --> 00:10:54.360 don't wonder how why where none of that, nigga, because it was due. 148 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:58.279 It was due to me. Another thing that I had shared was just 149 00:10:58.360 --> 00:11:03.399 that, like, I'm very happy with where I am in my life right 150 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:09.240 now, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, because I was not always here. 151 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:13.519 It took a while to get here. And even though I am here, 152 00:11:13.080 --> 00:11:18.120 I'm still learning every day. I still things are still being revealed to me 153 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:22.360 every day about myself, about my path, about my past, about my 154 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:31.080 patterns, about my childhood, about my traumas, Like this healing journey is 155 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:37.039 never ending, fucking right, But I'm just learning so much about myself. 156 00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:39.120 So one thing that I said was that, you know, I'm just so 157 00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:46.639 happy that right now I don't have a narcissistic man in my life telling me 158 00:11:46.679 --> 00:11:50.200 to dim my light, telling me to dim my celebration for myself. On 159 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:54.720 my birthday, you know what I'm saying, or just slowly trying to tear 160 00:11:54.799 --> 00:12:05.320 me down or break me down. It's crazy when you realize it's kind of 161 00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:07.440 you know, And this goes for anything in life. I feel like a 162 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:11.679 lot of times it's hard to see shit when you in it. Of course, 163 00:12:13.159 --> 00:12:15.720 of course, niggas from the outside looking in, it's gonna be able 164 00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:18.320 to tell you because they can see it, you know what I'm saying. 165 00:12:18.759 --> 00:12:22.960 But when you end some shit, it's very hard to see, especially when 166 00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:28.879 niggas gradually do things to you, or they, you know, subtly, 167 00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:39.559 subtly do things to you, and then you look up one day and don't 168 00:12:39.600 --> 00:12:43.399 even know who the fuck you are, how you got there, how this 169 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:52.960 happened, Like I'm not even the same person, no more so, m 170 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:56.919 But you gotta look at your patterns. You gotta especially your dating patterns, 171 00:12:56.039 --> 00:13:01.679 your romantic relationship patterns and all. You gotta look at that shit. But 172 00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:03.879 I was just saying that I'm so happy that I don't have a narcissistic man 173 00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:09.519 in my life. That's you know, them in my life. And it's 174 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:16.720 so crazy because a lot of times, a lot of times it's so funny 175 00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:22.159 that this is what I've realized about, you know, the past, with 176 00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:26.399 my relationships and shit like that. It's that men, the men that pursue 177 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:31.480 me, they lay it on thinking the beginning, They lay it on thick. 178 00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:35.879 They love me, They love the person that I am. They love 179 00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:39.840 the personality, they love the aura, they love what I bring to the 180 00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:43.000 table. Oh my god, you're so great. You're so fucking great, 181 00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:50.559 until you're not great. The same person that you loved the door, admired 182 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:58.120 the same the same things that you love me for are the same things that 183 00:13:58.200 --> 00:14:03.399 make you hate me when you get me. And then you don't want me 184 00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:07.759 to be that person no more. You don't want me to be jazzmine, 185 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:09.279 you don't. You don't want me to be podcasts, but you don't want 186 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:13.000 me to be black girl experience. You don't want me to be the person 187 00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:16.759 that I am. And it's like, do you not even like me? 188 00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:22.559 Are you in competition with me? Why don't you want to see me shine 189 00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:33.360 when you know that I'm a light? So you know, on my birthday, 190 00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:37.799 being in the space that I'm at mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, 191 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:41.759 I was just so happy like that I didn't have a hate nask nigga on 192 00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:46.799 my backer in the corner, throwing dirt, throwing salt. Don't do that, 193 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:50.080 don't post that, don't be yourself, you know what I'm saying, 194 00:14:50.200 --> 00:14:52.279 or just trying to tear me down on my on my fucking day, and 195 00:14:52.279 --> 00:14:56.840 it's salt. It's so fucking crazy. It's so fucking crazy. I've dealt 196 00:14:56.879 --> 00:15:01.480 with that my entire fucking life. When NI is my entire life, and 197 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:05.919 God rest his soul. My first boyfriend, Chris King, that I've talked 198 00:15:05.960 --> 00:15:11.600 about on here before. Baby, when I tell y'all from day one, 199 00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:15.639 niggas didn't I want to see me shine. I thought about this yesterday. 200 00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:20.600 I would never forget this that I had a hotel birthday party in the eighth 201 00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:26.799 fucking grade and my family allows him to come, not to stay the night, 202 00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:28.000 but just to come. You know what I'm saying, that's your boyfriend, 203 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:33.919 he can come to the party. He did not want me to shine. 204 00:15:35.799 --> 00:15:46.000 This nigga took my birthday money for me at the party. I don't 205 00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:50.320 know if he gave it back or what. And I remember like getting into 206 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:58.200 it with him. The nigga took my money on my birthday? What type 207 00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:04.080 of person, bro, what type of person I look back at other relationships 208 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:11.200 in my life and just how people feel like they always want to have one 209 00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:14.039 up on me. People don't want me to be successful, People don't want 210 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:19.919 me to shine. People do certain things. People people do things and very 211 00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:26.960 like U I want to say, like low key manipulative ways, or you 212 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:33.639 know, just very in an underhanded way. People would do stuff, throw 213 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.679 rocks and hide their hands. You know what I'm saying, in ways for 214 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:41.320 you to not be successful or you know what I'm saying or whatever, and 215 00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:48.559 these I'm talking about romantic relationships. I'm talking about romantic relationships. I'm talking 216 00:16:48.600 --> 00:16:53.600 about niggas that would drink my bath water when they met me and then when 217 00:16:53.639 --> 00:16:59.559 they get me. Bitch, you should humble yourself. Not not that nigga 218 00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:03.559 ever said that, but basically, but you need to humble yourself. What 219 00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:12.000 who are you? Who are you? But a nigga will have you feeling 220 00:17:12.039 --> 00:17:15.680 like at the at the end of a relationship, you'll be looking in the 221 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:26.599 mirror like who am I? Who am I? Light gone? Light diminished? 222 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:33.240 And that's why I can't really fuck with society. Not saying that I 223 00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:36.359 don't want to be married or no shit like that. I don't even know 224 00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:38.279 what I really want. I don't know what I want, but I'll tell 225 00:17:38.359 --> 00:17:44.160 you what. I'd be more happy being an independent person by myself and being 226 00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:48.839 happy and having my peace within versus oh one of oh I gotta get married 227 00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:52.759 or I gotta keep up an image for the word like I don't want that 228 00:17:52.519 --> 00:17:55.839 because a lot of people don't be happy with that. And again, a 229 00:17:55.839 --> 00:18:00.880 lot of women can't even shine or be their their best self in a relationship 230 00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:03.240 because you gotta run behind a man and you got you know what I'm saying, 231 00:18:03.319 --> 00:18:08.440 like, I don't want that. I don't want that. And another 232 00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:15.440 thing that just came up for me just like today, like a whole another 233 00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:22.119 situation. But it just really opened my eyes to a lot of my patterns 234 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:26.759 and why I fall into certain situations. And this situation is not really a 235 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:30.680 situation where a person is, you know, treating me one way in the 236 00:18:30.680 --> 00:18:33.680 beginning and then flipping the script. But just like it just opened my eyes 237 00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:38.920 to how I just fall into the same situations, and it made me think 238 00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:45.799 about how I don't put myself first regardless of how I feel. One thing 239 00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:52.720 that has constantly come up for me in romantic relationships is that in this period 240 00:18:52.839 --> 00:18:56.279 across the board, I know I'm a very giving person. Y'all know I'll 241 00:18:56.279 --> 00:19:02.960 pour into everybody else. You know, I'm a genuine spirit it like I'm 242 00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:07.279 an overgiver. I'm a people pleaser, all of that shit. So think 243 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:14.440 about me being in my romantic relationships. Niggas is magnified times a thousand, 244 00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:18.319 Okay, overgiver, people pleaser, doing the most for niggas, all of 245 00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:26.319 that. And I've just realized that everything that I that I give to other 246 00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:32.279 people or that overgiven and all of that shit, not only does it dram 247 00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:41.240 your deplete me, but once should goes sour or whatever, it'd be back 248 00:19:41.279 --> 00:19:42.680 to square one. Like, damn, I did all of this, I 249 00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:48.599 gave all of this, I was this to this person, and I'll be 250 00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:53.200 feeling like I'm left with nothing when in reality, I'm supposed to be giving 251 00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:56.720 all of that stuff to myself. I'm always over and given to other people. 252 00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:02.960 Jasmine overgive to yourself, people, please to yourself. Why the fuck 253 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:06.079 don't you speak up for yourself when people do shit that you're not cool with? 254 00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:10.440 You know what I'm saying, why don't you, Why do you? 255 00:20:10.839 --> 00:20:14.160 Why do you accept less than you deserve when you know what you deserve, 256 00:20:15.559 --> 00:20:21.119 when you know you're not capable of giving me this. I'm worth more than 257 00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:25.160 what you're presenting. I'm better than this situation. You know what I'm saying. 258 00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:29.119 But you stick around, or you you try to have sympathy for people, 259 00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:32.319 or you want to make shit work, or you know what I'm saying. 260 00:20:32.359 --> 00:20:34.119 So today I just kind of came to the realization that, like, 261 00:20:36.759 --> 00:20:44.759 stand the fuck up, bro, stand the fuck up. And not to 262 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:49.240 say that anybody is a bad person or anything like that, but I gotta 263 00:20:49.240 --> 00:21:00.039 put myself first because people are gonna always do that for themselves. And so 264 00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:04.599 I feel like being on this path of thirty three and um, you know, 265 00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:10.519 just feeling like I'm spiritually aligned and everything is swalling into place. It'd 266 00:21:10.519 --> 00:21:15.480 be little situations like that, that that tests me, that that that pulled 267 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:18.160 my car, Like all right, bitch, you in alignment. Now, 268 00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:26.599 let's throw a little let's throw a little something in the game. Let's throw 269 00:21:26.599 --> 00:21:30.079 a little something in again. Let's play a game. Let's play a game. 270 00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:33.279 Jasmine, You're in alignment. Now, you see the opportunities coming. 271 00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:40.400 You see the blessings raining down. Let's throw something in the game. Are 272 00:21:40.440 --> 00:21:45.240 you gonna go against how you feel? Or are you gonna stand up for 273 00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:48.319 yourself so that you can get some more blessings so you can continue on this 274 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:59.920 path and be smooth selling. We're giving you the signs. We're giving you 275 00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:04.839 the signs, were giving you the signs you see in the red flags, 276 00:22:04.920 --> 00:22:08.440 you see in the patterns. Bitch, we coming to you in your fucking 277 00:22:08.680 --> 00:22:15.960 dreams. Baby. If you if you're not ready to be on this path, 278 00:22:15.839 --> 00:22:21.480 I'm not gonna suggest or recommend that you get on it. If you're 279 00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:25.240 not ready to really get in tune with yourself and really get on your spiritual 280 00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:29.599 path, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna suggest that you do it. Because 281 00:22:29.599 --> 00:22:33.559 this real shit over here. Baby. When when that shit start coming to 282 00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:38.279 you? When your dreams? And trust me, because you know I talked 283 00:22:38.279 --> 00:22:42.240 about this a couple of episodes ago where you know, I had a dream. 284 00:22:42.279 --> 00:22:47.119 I was on my Martin Luther King and I try to talk myself out 285 00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:51.920 of my dream. I try to talk myself out of what I already knew 286 00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:56.440 and and not fuck a dream, but just my intuition period, I will 287 00:22:56.519 --> 00:23:03.440 try to talk myself out of what I fucking know. I've been doing that 288 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:07.640 shit my whole life. I've been doing that ship with niggas since the first 289 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:15.839 time I ever fucked with a nigga. Why do you do that? Why 290 00:23:15.880 --> 00:23:21.759 do you do that? Jasmine? And That's what I'm saying, Like I 291 00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:25.920 really, after I cut a lot of certain a lot of niggas off, 292 00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:29.599 where I cut certain energy off out of my life, I started to see 293 00:23:29.640 --> 00:23:33.680 a shift. I started to see a change. I started to see how 294 00:23:36.400 --> 00:23:41.000 I was getting on a path to alignment right now, I'm talking about recently. 295 00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:49.279 I'm talking about very recently, But getting on that path, it's hard. 296 00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:53.680 It's hard to let go of that ship. But it's like, baby, 297 00:23:53.720 --> 00:24:00.759 I was drowning in the toxicity. That shit is all fun in games. 298 00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:07.359 That shit feel good, you know what I'm saying, for the time 299 00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:11.680 being. But then when you start to see the effects of what it does 300 00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:17.680 to you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, that shit is not fun. 301 00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:19.440 So that's why I don't understand. First of all, y'all know that 302 00:24:19.480 --> 00:24:22.839 it's power in the tongue. I don't understand why people walk around and be 303 00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:26.640 like, I'm on demon time. I'm toxic, I'm tired. Like that 304 00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:30.240 shit is not fucking cute. Number one, We're grown as fuck because that 305 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:36.400 shit is not cute. Number two, there's power in the fucking tongue. 306 00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:41.759 Why do you want to be on demon time? Why you want to all 307 00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:44.599 you a demon? I don't want to fuck with no nigga talking about he 308 00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:49.759 a demon that scares me, that scares the light in me, Nigga, 309 00:24:49.960 --> 00:24:53.440 It's very angelic over here. I'm walking around with a halo on in this 310 00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:57.400 bitch. I don't don't. I don't want nothing to demonic on me, 311 00:24:57.720 --> 00:25:06.720 near me, in me. Imagine what that shit do to you. So 312 00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:12.000 being able to step away from certain situations and see how the shift in my 313 00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:17.119 life, to see how shit changes, To see how good I feel when 314 00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:21.160 I'm around like minded individuals, to see how good I feel when I'm around 315 00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:23.319 my tribe. To see how good I feel, you know, just in 316 00:25:23.359 --> 00:25:27.799 certain environments, versus how I feel when I'm with toxic people, when I'm 317 00:25:27.799 --> 00:25:30.200 with people that I know I shouldn't be with what I'm doing, some shit 318 00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:33.160 I shouldn't be doing. You know what I'm saying, and then again the 319 00:25:33.279 --> 00:25:37.640 remnants of that stuff. So when I go to yoga in the morning and 320 00:25:37.720 --> 00:25:42.119 I'm drinking a smoothie and all of that, there's a remnants that comes with 321 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:47.160 that. Throughout the day. You continue to vibrate high, you on a 322 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:52.319 certain vibration. Go fuck with a toxic nigga. Go do some shit you 323 00:25:52.359 --> 00:25:55.920 ain't supposed to be doing. It's gonna be a remnant from that in your 324 00:25:56.000 --> 00:26:00.480 life. You're gonna feel that shit, You're gonna see that ship the shit 325 00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:04.480 around. It's gonna show in your life. So, like I said, 326 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:07.680 it's all funny games. So we on't demon time. We're doing this whatever, 327 00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:11.759 Yeah, nigga, until you like, all right, nigga, my 328 00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:21.160 life I'm drowning in toxicity. Bro. I feel like something has a hold 329 00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:23.680 on my fucking life. Bro. That shit, that shit don't feel good. 330 00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:33.240 So that but aside from that, just again just seeing myself keep I 331 00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:41.480 keep being presented with certain situations and baby, the enter me, the little 332 00:26:41.559 --> 00:26:45.799 jasmine in me is screaming like, bitch, please stand up for me, 333 00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:52.519 speak up for me. When you feel a certain type of way, speak 334 00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:56.519 on that shit, do that shit, like walk away from what don't serve 335 00:26:56.599 --> 00:27:02.440 you? If something don't make you feel a hundred percent, baby, it's 336 00:27:02.519 --> 00:27:11.200 not for you. Why do you want to stay in spaces that broke you, 337 00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:15.039 that make you feel less than that don't give you what you need, 338 00:27:15.960 --> 00:27:19.160 even though it might feel good or it might feel whatever, Like, why 339 00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:32.000 do you do that? Too? So, and I'm not saying that all 340 00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:34.559 people or every person that I don't was a bad person. I'm not saying 341 00:27:34.599 --> 00:27:41.599 that, but you know a lot of times some of them niggas will is 342 00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:51.200 bad. But also I just noticed like the more that I communicate, the 343 00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:55.799 more that I speak up for myself, I activate that chakra. Uh you 344 00:27:55.839 --> 00:27:57.160 know what I'm saying. The more I can get out of people, the 345 00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:00.119 more I could get people to understand. And that's another thing you ought to 346 00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:07.720 stand on all ten with motherfuckers. Okay, So when I'm having these conversations 347 00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:11.079 with people, and not only am I getting them to see my point of 348 00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:15.640 view, but I'm getting I'm getting people to understand the truth of the matter. 349 00:28:17.319 --> 00:28:19.759 You're saying one thing, but you're showing me another. It's not adding 350 00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:25.079 up. Is that fair to me? Is this fair to me? You're 351 00:28:25.079 --> 00:28:26.440 saying this but is this fair to me? You're saying this, but you're 352 00:28:26.440 --> 00:28:30.240 not showing this. You're saying this, but you know what I'm saying. 353 00:28:32.440 --> 00:28:38.680 The little jasmine in me is like, yeah, yeah, bitch, stand 354 00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:45.279 up. Only deal with things that make you feel good. Only deal with 355 00:28:45.319 --> 00:28:48.920 things that are going to keep you on this thirty three path. Only deal 356 00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:52.440 with shit that's gonna keep you on this path to alignment. You know what 357 00:28:52.480 --> 00:29:04.720 I'm saying. Like, But again, I don't totally place blame on other 358 00:29:04.759 --> 00:29:08.640 people, because one thing that I always say on here is that you gotta 359 00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:15.599 understand and recognize that we are a co creator in every situation in our life. 360 00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:21.200 You have to take accountability. You have to take responsibility for the role 361 00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:26.839 that you play. Shit don't just happen to you. It's happening for you, 362 00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:29.880 But shit don't just happen to you, Nigga. You play a part. 363 00:29:32.119 --> 00:29:36.880 You play a part. A lot of people don't want to take accountability. 364 00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:41.440 A lot of people are not self aware, a lot of people don't 365 00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:48.319 want to do the work. And one thing that I'm not gonna do is 366 00:29:48.359 --> 00:29:52.000 do the work for you, because i have my own fucking work to do, 367 00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:55.039 and I've done a whole hell of a lot. And that's what I 368 00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:57.079 said on Instagram yesterday. Wh don't talk about niggas, can't take ship for 369 00:29:57.160 --> 00:30:04.519 me and all of that, Like I really did work. When I tell 370 00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:08.400 y'all, this is my real fucking life. The ship that I speak about, 371 00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:12.559 this is my real fucking life. And if you meet me, if 372 00:30:12.599 --> 00:30:17.839 you see me, if you are around me, you know it. You 373 00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:23.160 know that it's real because energy don't lie. And Nigga, my nigga, 374 00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:26.680 you you could purp on the ground, but if you if you really know 375 00:30:26.759 --> 00:30:32.359 somebody in real life, didn't you know how they live in I'm a walking 376 00:30:32.519 --> 00:30:41.319 testimony of my life. Black girl experience is my real fucking life. This 377 00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:48.720 healing journey, my real fucking life. I've been doing this shit for years, 378 00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:55.920 nigga, and I really didn't even at a lot of the times. 379 00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.279 A lot of the times, I didn't even understand what was happening. I 380 00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:02.720 didn't even know what type of path I was on. I didn't even know 381 00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:06.240 where I was going in life, nigga. I was just getting swept up 382 00:31:06.279 --> 00:31:08.000 by the current of life, not even like you know what I'm saying, 383 00:31:08.039 --> 00:31:11.519 just in it. Because again, when you in it. You can't really 384 00:31:11.559 --> 00:31:18.400 see what's happening. You don't really know what's happening. But I'm grateful for 385 00:31:18.519 --> 00:31:22.160 every individual in my life. I'm grateful for every person in my life weren't 386 00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:30.119 bad. I'm grateful for all the situations that didn't work out, for all 387 00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:32.759 the niggas that did me dirty, all the niggas that didn't meet bold, 388 00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:34.960 because that led me to where I was supposed to be, and that actually 389 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:37.880 gave me strength. Even though I felt like that ship was breaking me the 390 00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:42.519 fuck down, it was really building me the fuck up. And once you 391 00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:47.799 get to a certain place in your life and you really understand your value and 392 00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:51.079 your worth and what you want, and again I'm telling you this self. 393 00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:53.799 Love of journey ain't no hole nigga. I was telling somebody today, I 394 00:31:53.839 --> 00:32:01.720 cried today, and I'll be honest. Parent moment I could not like boohoo 395 00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:06.880 praying, but I cried today. I shed tears today with a person that 396 00:32:06.920 --> 00:32:19.000 I barely even know, and they apologize to me. They told me what 397 00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:28.759 I did didn't deserve and all of that. But I told them, you 398 00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:36.680 don't gotta feel bad for me, because everything that I'm experiencing in this moment 399 00:32:36.799 --> 00:32:43.880 is because of me, and I'm aware of that self awareness. This is 400 00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:47.359 happening because this is a pattern for me. This is what I do. 401 00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:54.200 I keep ending up in situations like this. Why because there's something that I 402 00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:58.359 need to change. There's something that I need to do. When I tell 403 00:32:58.440 --> 00:33:02.319 y'all that I'm an overgiver and whatever, and I do. I do want 404 00:33:02.359 --> 00:33:09.240 compaign ship, I do want love, But what I need to understand is 405 00:33:09.279 --> 00:33:15.640 that I have to give that stuff to myself. My cup is still not 406 00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:22.400 fool yet, and that's my problem. A nigga had eighty percent and I'm 407 00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:23.839 over here trying. Oh well, let me pour a little in your cup. 408 00:33:23.960 --> 00:33:28.559 Let me let me give you something. No letting niggas pour into their 409 00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:31.039 own cups. Baby, You at eighty percent, you need to keep pouring 410 00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:36.839 into yourself. Get to a hundred first. But first, yeah, not 411 00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:39.240 even a hundred, nigga. When you get to that overflow is when niggas 412 00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:43.400 can start grabbing shit up. You know, you put your cup on. 413 00:33:43.720 --> 00:33:46.240 My little tea cup right here is on a plate. When the water is 414 00:33:46.279 --> 00:33:50.440 pouring over. You could bring your cup over and put it up under that 415 00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:55.359 bitch and get some water at that point in the overflow. But I'm not 416 00:33:55.440 --> 00:34:01.119 even there yet. Yeah, I'm gonna keep getting my feelings hurt. I'm 417 00:34:01.119 --> 00:34:07.920 gonna keep getting the dagger to the heart until I pour into myself fully, 418 00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:15.840 until I show up for myself fully, until I deal with my insecurities fully. 419 00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:25.039 And I'm cool with that. I'm cool with being able to say that 420 00:34:30.320 --> 00:34:37.679 what did make me happy? You know what really makes me happy. It's 421 00:34:37.719 --> 00:34:42.599 hearing the truth about myself from other people. Just knowing that, you know, 422 00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:46.599 even though a lot of times people take my kindness for weakness or I 423 00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:52.039 get taken advantage of or whatever, at the end of the day, niggas 424 00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:54.679 is gonna give me my flowers. Don't like damn Jesine, I ain't gonna 425 00:34:54.719 --> 00:35:00.159 lie. You were a solid ass individual. You were a real ass, 426 00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:06.199 and you got a good ass her your genuine as fuck. My best friend 427 00:35:06.199 --> 00:35:14.280 put on my birthday post, she said that what's she saying something about like 428 00:35:14.800 --> 00:35:21.519 she's the purest human that I know. I don't give a fuck about any 429 00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:25.119 talking about Oh you got to drip on this my whatever. We'll be in 430 00:35:25.119 --> 00:35:31.159 the club popping bottles that are Somebody told me I'm the purest human. They 431 00:35:31.239 --> 00:35:44.519 know. I take pride in that somebody told me that I'm the first person 432 00:35:44.599 --> 00:35:51.239 that has come in today life that actually cared about them, don't want nothing 433 00:35:51.320 --> 00:35:58.760 from them, that I was pouring into them, that I was helping them, 434 00:35:58.760 --> 00:36:00.920 that I was you know what I'm saying, being a being a positive 435 00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:07.639 person to them, that's the type of shit that I care about, you 436 00:36:07.639 --> 00:36:10.079 know what I'm saying. And again, but being all of that to other 437 00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:20.320 people when I really need to be that to myself. So again, being 438 00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:23.679 on this this path, this thirty three, this year, the blessings and 439 00:36:23.800 --> 00:36:29.639 just you know, really filling a line and all of that. When the 440 00:36:29.800 --> 00:36:32.880 obstacles come, when when that illusion hit, when all of this shit hit, 441 00:36:35.239 --> 00:36:37.920 when them red flags pop up, it's like, hey, do not 442 00:36:38.159 --> 00:36:45.239 proceed, nigga, do not proceed because how many times have you been through 443 00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:49.639 this before? How many times do you gotta do this? How many times 444 00:36:49.679 --> 00:36:54.400 have you gotta hit your head? How many times? Like I don't want 445 00:36:54.400 --> 00:36:58.360 to keep doing that, man, I don't want to keep living that life. 446 00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:04.760 I don't want to have to keep learning unnecessary lessons. I don't want 447 00:37:04.760 --> 00:37:07.960 to keep hurting myself. I don't want to keep putting myself through shit that 448 00:37:08.119 --> 00:37:14.320 I don't have to go through just because it feels good in the moment. 449 00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:19.239 You know what I'm saying, Like, it don't be worth it. It 450 00:37:19.239 --> 00:37:22.360 don't be worth the heartache, It don't be worth the pain. It don't 451 00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:25.199 be worth the like in the end, like damn, I gave my oil 452 00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:32.079 or I gave this and like really never got nothing in return. That shit 453 00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:44.960 does not feel good. So I am just trying to stay on my path 454 00:37:45.159 --> 00:37:51.320 and I'm just trying to continue to focus on myself, stay prayed up, 455 00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:58.960 stay affirmation, to stay focused, keep doing my yoga every day because that 456 00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:05.519 shit is a lifestyle and it helps with my mental stability, my spiritual stability, 457 00:38:05.639 --> 00:38:08.360 my physical stability. You know what I'm saying. It makes me feel 458 00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:19.000 grounded, It wakes me up, it gives me purpose. I enjoy it 459 00:38:19.360 --> 00:38:22.159 like I enjoy teaching, and I enjoy being that forever, like you know 460 00:38:22.199 --> 00:38:30.760 what I'm saying, Like, and then it's just a fucking by period. 461 00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:37.320 So my birthday was cool. Like I said, I got to treat myself. 462 00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:42.079 I got to I had a moment with myself to really just reflect on 463 00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:46.559 what does my birthday mean? To me. And that's another thing, like, 464 00:38:46.559 --> 00:38:52.280 like, what does my birthday mean to me? And not even just 465 00:38:52.280 --> 00:38:54.400 you, your butherfucking birthday. So even for y'all, not just your birthday. 466 00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:59.400 Of course, be all about yourself on your birthday, celebrate yourself, 467 00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:02.000 go all out whatever, treat yourself. But nigga, fuck a birthday. 468 00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:05.679 Treat yourself like that. Every day, Nigga, act like every day is 469 00:39:05.719 --> 00:39:07.599 your birthday. Act like every day is a reason to wake up and smile 470 00:39:07.639 --> 00:39:12.480 and be like nigga another day in this bitch, like every tree, every 471 00:39:12.519 --> 00:39:17.719 day like your birthday. And another thing that I realized, like I always 472 00:39:17.719 --> 00:39:21.239 feel like I do have good energy for the most part. You know, 473 00:39:21.480 --> 00:39:22.719 some days you got your off days where you're not gonna feel like that. 474 00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:25.920 But for the most part, I definitely feel like I always carry good energy 475 00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:29.239 with me with everywhere I go. I feel like I light up a room. 476 00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:31.880 I feel like I'm a positive person. Blah sah blah. But on 477 00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:35.920 my motherfucking birthday, nigga, when I tell you, I live up every 478 00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:37.760 room I was in. When I was at Coney Island, eat my food 479 00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:40.360 I was in that bitch had Nigga, just oh my god, oh my 480 00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:44.000 god. And it's your birthday, Oh my god. But like, just 481 00:39:44.039 --> 00:39:46.079 the energy when I walked in a gas station. Baby, the gas station 482 00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:50.320 is probably the most low vibrational place on the fucking earth. Like, I 483 00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:52.400 don't know, trust me, when you want the gas station, it's just 484 00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:54.639 low vibes, nigga, low fucking vibes when I went in that bitch, 485 00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:58.000 because you know, I played the lottery, I played my numbers for my 486 00:39:58.039 --> 00:40:00.760 birthday, all that shit. But baby, just the inner that I brought 487 00:40:00.800 --> 00:40:02.760 in, like I could tell that I was just lightening up everybody else, 488 00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:06.519 making everybody else feel good. Niggas was talking to me, and niggas like 489 00:40:06.519 --> 00:40:07.840 oh whatever. And again I did bring up the fact that it was my 490 00:40:07.880 --> 00:40:10.760 birthday. But again that's what I'm saying, like, don't just go around 491 00:40:10.760 --> 00:40:14.639 with that energy because it's your birthday and it's like, you know whatever, 492 00:40:14.679 --> 00:40:17.239 that's cool, But go around with that energy every day and see how you 493 00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:22.079 change. You know what I'm saying, because again, say you walk into 494 00:40:22.119 --> 00:40:23.880 the gap. First of all, Again, the gas station being the lowest 495 00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:29.639 vibration on the fucking earth most times, niggas being their drunkest hill whatever, 496 00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:34.360 you know, whatever, but imagine walking into the gas station and somebody just 497 00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:37.599 coming here just energy just off bad as fuck, Like you know what I'm 498 00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:42.039 saying. Think about it, how think about how it affects other people. 499 00:40:43.480 --> 00:40:47.000 So imagine if you walk into the gas station with high vibes, with good 500 00:40:47.119 --> 00:40:52.760 energy and you're putting that off every that Again, it transferred. Energy is 501 00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:59.719 not created or destroyed. It's only transferred. So wherever you go, give 502 00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:06.880 a good energy period, whatever you put out into the universe, you're gonna 503 00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:10.239 get it back tenfolds. It may not come when y'all wanted to, it 504 00:41:10.280 --> 00:41:15.840 may not come when you ass It's gonna come when you need it, though, 505 00:41:17.480 --> 00:41:22.679 And baby, when they come back, it's gonna rain. It's gonna 506 00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:29.320 rain on you. And I just feel like that's where I'm at in my 507 00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:31.599 life right now, Like that ship is just raining on me. Period. 508 00:41:31.719 --> 00:41:37.079 Blesses, the rain down on may la la la la la if all oh 509 00:41:37.239 --> 00:41:52.360 man rain down man if all rain period rain period Right Like, I'm there, 510 00:41:52.599 --> 00:41:59.800 I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. I'm present for all of 511 00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:02.440 my blessings. I'm present for all of my abuntance. I'm present for all 512 00:42:02.440 --> 00:42:06.800 of the prosperity coming to me, nigger. I'm here, I'm here, 513 00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:13.000 I'm in the moment. Thank you, I'm here, I see it, 514 00:42:13.199 --> 00:42:19.440 I receive it. It's mine like I worked for this. I work to 515 00:42:19.559 --> 00:42:28.159 get to this motherfucking moment. So excuse me while I shine. And if 516 00:42:28.199 --> 00:42:34.000 you got a problem with it, that's just an indicator that you need to 517 00:42:34.039 --> 00:42:38.679 figure out what the fuck is going on with yourself. Shout out to Kat 518 00:42:40.760 --> 00:42:45.119 from the trap. I appreciate her. She kept telling me the other day. 519 00:42:45.159 --> 00:42:47.760 She was like girl. She just kept telling me, like you really 520 00:42:47.800 --> 00:42:51.440 a light, like you just really a good person. She's like, girl, 521 00:42:51.639 --> 00:42:53.519 you that girl. She kept saying that to me. You that girl. 522 00:42:53.639 --> 00:43:02.480 And I'm like, thank you. And I think that number one. 523 00:43:05.800 --> 00:43:07.480 I was just grateful to hear somebody tell me that. You know what I'm 524 00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:12.599 saying, to acknowledge my light, to acknowledge my shine, to give me 525 00:43:12.639 --> 00:43:16.519 my flowers. A lot of people don't do that. But again, the 526 00:43:16.639 --> 00:43:21.400 light in me sees the light in you. I see the light and Cat 527 00:43:21.440 --> 00:43:23.000 too, you know what I'm saying. So for her to be able to 528 00:43:23.039 --> 00:43:29.239 give me that respect and to give me that acknowledgement, I see that in 529 00:43:29.320 --> 00:43:32.000 her as well, you know what I'm saying, But it just felt really 530 00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:36.239 good to hear somebody say And when I say, she kept saying it to 531 00:43:36.280 --> 00:43:37.800 me like you that girl that she just kept bringing in my head like you 532 00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:44.840 that girl. And I'll be telling myself that too sometimes. But it's like 533 00:43:45.079 --> 00:43:49.239 you need to tell yourself that all the time. Jasmine, you are that 534 00:43:49.320 --> 00:43:54.000 fucking girl. That's why the role was so fucking hard. That's why the 535 00:43:54.079 --> 00:44:00.280 struggle was so fucking tough. Because you are that girl, Nigga. That 536 00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:06.400 shit ain't just gonna be given to you on a silver platter. Nigga, 537 00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:09.000 you don't have to go through you don't have to go through the trials and 538 00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:14.719 the tribulations. You're gonna have to rise from the ashes like the phoenix. 539 00:44:15.039 --> 00:44:23.559 Why, because you are that girl. I'm the one that got away for 540 00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:29.559 a lot of niggas. You know something, I ain't gonna lie. There 541 00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:30.960 have been times in my life where I just sit and I think, like 542 00:44:31.159 --> 00:44:35.559 dang, you know, I internal lot shit like dang, why did he 543 00:44:35.639 --> 00:44:37.960 do this? Or why did this happen? Or did he not see who? 544 00:44:38.039 --> 00:44:39.960 Did he not see my light? Did you not know? I would 545 00:44:40.920 --> 00:44:44.960 he ran away? From you, Jasmine, because you are that girl. 546 00:44:50.920 --> 00:44:53.760 He's not one hundred percent of his masculine energy. He's not there. He's 547 00:44:53.800 --> 00:45:00.760 not he hasn't come to that place of self awareness. He's still a and 548 00:45:00.920 --> 00:45:04.440 afraid little boy. You scared. I scare a lot of niggas. I 549 00:45:04.440 --> 00:45:13.320 intimidate a lot of niggas. Why because you are that girl? When I 550 00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:16.840 sit and I wonder why the niggas that pursue me and admire me and adore 551 00:45:16.920 --> 00:45:20.679 me try to break me down? Why do they do that? Because you 552 00:45:20.719 --> 00:45:25.079 are that girl and they're not there. They're not mentally strong enough in their 553 00:45:25.119 --> 00:45:29.639 own masculine energy to be the man that that you know what I'm saying. 554 00:45:29.639 --> 00:45:34.920 They're not there yet. You are that girl.