Comedy Central Podcast J BYA Wowow. This is great. I could be like
this all afternoon, or I can assure you, or I have a limited
time. And besides, the subject doesn' t go with it. Hey.
Well, I' m inaddin' good night. I' m here
to tell you what I' m addicted to. It' s very common
among people like me, fat people. Ostoy hooked the sugar, which you
didn' t look like. He' s surprised not to paint coke and
not bad. I don' t have it, but tampa berry, yeah,
motherfucker what' s for me in sugar is more drug than drug.
The drugs are really pipes, what do you say, well, the pipes
are drugs, too, and it' s true. Hey, you catch
yourself, a bag and it' s like that normejo en sal you get
to leave pipe aja? Asaja pipe? Ajala pipes? Pipaf puts your nose
on, as well as the pussy. The tits bat, you know,
you piped ja, pipe, you do that with cocaine. You don'
t do it in ten minutes You' re looking at the lamppost. That
' s it, I can do that Let' s hit it You know,
no, really. For my taste of sugar. It' s a
problem. I' m worried. But the worst is chocolate. The chocolate
in mieroin chocolate in my cruc, man, I tell you, you think
you control it and overnight and you' re going to listen in the bag
in case you find a muse, you know if you' re there.
It' s sad. It' s sad, man I stole my mother
' s thermomix to buy me a Starbucks smoothie. And it' s sad,
especially because it' s two things that image doesn' t even know
how to pronounce. You know like Facebook. It' s just sad.
It' s sad and I can' t eat in an onzal and I
can' t eat a piece of chocolate. I' m impossible. In
my house there is a chocolate tarvet and when I remain aware of nothing really,
I look at my hands, chocolate stains, I look for myself,
I look at my clothes, I look at my folds, I find myself
eating it and there is nothing left. Nothing. It' s what gives
remorse and silver paper. Dude, like in the' 80s. I'
m not fucking saying that. I' m thinking of getting help. I
' m going to point to something, some situation, compulsive dining rooms,
which I' ve looked at. I' ve been looking for compulsive comedros.
That' s what it' s like to eat compulsives, like alcoholics,
anonymous, but paragords. What we can' t call ourselves is anonymous
canteens, because of course you know it' s like you' re an
alcoholic ananisms and you' re tattooing bacardi on your forehead You' re making
yourself spoiler. I really think it' s the worst addiction of all is
food, because the others more than least have tools. Man, you'
re gonna take us, because don' t stick to the PP and what
' s alcoholic, because you don' t get hung up, Bacano,
resolved, but how you' re gonna stop eating if I can' t
even stop thinking about eating, man, if I wanted to aim for art
in martial in mystad because they thought it was with Ham Yurick, cheese,
that is, it sucks and you say good, because it makes you famous,
because like all famous, they have addictions and I say already, but
other additions. Aunty, my guahija died of an overdose. Jim Morrison,
super rocker gala tub, I' m going to die of Miguelito' s
filling of the roll, he doesn' t have love. That' s
what I mean, and being fat has a lot of bad stuff. It
' s the inviting consequence that you' re hooked blue, that you get
fat and there' s the hat. He has a lot of bad things,
but he also has good things. I really know because I' ve
made a list wait for you. It' s a little wet. I
' ve been here a lot of hours, but you' re waiting for
the list of good things to be fat. The good thing about the obvious
food, it' s not the most obvious point, but you can'
t. Let' s take it off. It' s important. The
bad thing, then self- esteem so I' m going to cheat you
recently. The good stuff. The feeling of eating how wonderful, how bad,
the feeling of failure, which is also instantaneous. Then all the food
fits the bad, all the clothes that you no longer head, not tral
pral is already. Good thing they don' t rape you. I'
ve said it the bad thing, they don' t rape you, they
don' t what is vera, they don' t, but fucker is
that yes, that rapes. Don' t leave out this thing that doesn
' t matter, or whatever you do, they' re gonna talk to
you, like, it' s got nothing to do with it, and
you' re gonna tell us why you' re making this joke. I
' ve already said that. The only thing I haven' t had fat
self- esteem for ever, ever since I was little, good, little
guy. It' s a way of speaking that I' m worth the
Communion suit. The priest didn' t give me the fuck. I throw
it at myself like I' m scared, I mean, it' s
like it was. What do I know as if it was his first day
working at the circus, they would have told him you have to invent the
hippo and uncle me. So it was, so it was in fact,
I was given the body of Christ and I asked for bread, uh,
I asked for bread seriously and I say to wet man. And I also
say the same, I am hungry that Christ is all real bone. She
' s a whore. She' s a whore having been complex. I
' ve got you someone wants you to study my mushrooms, take the presents
who waits for you to show up ah you spend it in the face one
day be famous, not sooner than later. Yes, it can be.
Hey. She' s a whore having complexes, because you' ve always
had, as a child, as a teenager, and I' m ashamed
to go to the beach and the swimming pool that they arm bikini. I
didn' t want people to know that there was Gorda than Ilusa. I
thought the clothes were magic. People already knew. You' re missing me
a lot of beautiful things for being dumber than Fat fucking. I' m
telling you, oh, thank you, I' ve lost a lot of
wishes. You' re a rock of desires. I' ve always asked
for wishes since I was right. I' ve always asked for it from
the freaking faces You' re late for birthday. I' ve always asked
for the same thing. I' ve always asked to be thin. But
it' s just that I' ve also asked for a lot at home
and of course it' s known that the opposite is worth the shit.
And yet. Still. I' m telling you, everything I' ve
kept, I' ve been keeping up these years. I' m not
that bad, because you can do it to me. I' m not
that much of a jog, but, as I' d say the Norway
lobster, it' s all about getting on, and I' ve been
playing sports and I' ve stayed until I broke my knee playing Rugby.
That' s also what I' m thinking. He' s telling you
he doesn' t hit you at all. You' re hit by the
classic ballet. I don' t know anymore, but I lost that train.
I lost it because my knee' s stuck. He' s so
into it. It doesn' t get through the breakup. This isn'
t bullshit, this isn' t bullshit. I' ve got it fucked
up. Really. I had to go to the traumatologist for this. I
went to the traumatologist and I swear to God the first thing he said to
me as he agreed. I walked in the door. It' s gonna
have to wear out and I say look at sorlock medicine studied wouldn' t
be the nortito. They' ve already done it to me in that now
they call buoniing You' re going to say something I want to say.
You' re going to work, what do you recommend, astita, there
' s exercise. I don' t have to do everything. I'
m gonna get your paycheck, motherfucker. I fae, I fae a lot,
man, no, not that at least it pretends to look at the
fizha that I checked the sources that I was already fat before I broke my
knee. I was already fat. It' s not the jusa, it
' s not good for me. I was already fat. And this didn
' t sound like it. And now I need silence because I know it
sounds, it wasn' t going to sound. It said the sound of
your dead. It' s not fixed. This is fucked up. This
sounds like a village fair. You' re gonna ride the monologue. It
' s like this, and you don' t think that the one who
' s crazy is the monkey. You know, this is bullshit I don
' t like it That' s why they always blame health when someone'
s fat or when someone' s fat, but then you know that'
s killing me, but I' m still upset about fucking shitty hippies.
I' m sorry if any of you just face the typical ones who tell
you. Aunt ale cas your body. Your body is wise. You'
ve never heard that body thing is wise. It' s almost your body.
Ma' am, if I were home, my body would sleep sixteen
hours a day and weigh two hundred and fifty pounds pure two hundred. It
' s just that it' s true to touch people who say the body
is wise. I say that' s not scientific rigor, and that'
s a lie. If the body were wise, there would never be what
I call the Bloodmer effect, which is when you get the rule and hangover.
That' s not wise. That' s what this motherfucker is.
What a body I' m hesitant about. My body' s got a
look at me, it' s got a mess, I' ve got
gray hairs coming out, they' re starting to want other splinters. Now
I don' t have a problem with that, but I' m also
starting to sais grains. I haven' t had grains in my whole life,
neither in that, nor in puberty, nor in adolescence, nor in
the time of making me many wages, never grains. But now with the
gray hairs, all together, all together. He put it there for me.
Dude, uh, man, I' m confused that you' re
looking at twenty- seven pussies, sixty- two. A little bit of
balance. A little bit of balance is bullshit, and besides, when they
hit it, it still doesn' t lower my rule. Six months he
put the rule in like that without taking off. I had to go to
the gynecologist too and as she walked in the door. She tells me you
' ve gotten really fat lately and I, like Mira Whatson, don'
t have a boyfriend. Another kills something that the hell is going on,
because nobody here wants to work. Ha later, then the crack was my
nice. He told me not to tell you because you have a polycystic ovary
that I already know what I' m thinking. I know the guys I
' ve lost since I said. Gynecologist, I' m not interested in
my polycystic mario theme either It sounded like something like I went to the Pope
de Poblos wedding and they put us in a muses pita bread. The polycystic
father. My Greek accent sucks, but the other Greek I' m good
at, let me explain the case. He told me not to see polycystic
ovary meaning various vague. So I say like the rest of the body and
materialized up here. A minimum service is that it commands here There' s
use of this which is uh, I feel bad, why don' t
you call it a vague variety and that' s it. The sound of
the name is that it' s the desire to make the case dizzy It
' s a bitch. She' s a bitch and you' re thinking
she' s got to see all this as she' s fat plot twist
turns out here fat has testosterola, she' s got you is torterone male
hormone. For those of you who don' t know this is three tiger
jokes, these telana have male hormones. Okay, so I' m an
inside guy who explains that I like porn so much and blame it on the
issue of my problem. But it' s a bitch. She' s
a little slut, she' s a bitch, she doesn' t look
like it, but she' s a bitch because, well, between the
borbonic and that I' m going more verb than Jordi Wyne. If I
want blood, it' s the roo of the pussy. I' m
going to have to buy a Soa Owski vibrator worth the aunt, already told
me, tells me, but you want to have his and not that good,
because if you don' t want so many children, nothing happens.
I mean, don' t get confused. It' s different. I
don' t want to have children and I' ve never really wanted to.
I mean, I' m not gonna say the typical thing about giving
a figure, because let' s be honest. I took care of it
all by myself. But if you remove in the chichi that I' ve
seen photos, that stays as if you dropped a pistol just a barbershop.
That' s a wreck. Or they' ll seal it for you,
they' ll put the other daughter in you. There to smoke joints.
Then I' m scared, I' ll look at myself. I'
ve got Jimenez doing a psychophony. Hey, I' m not kiddin',
but he scratched me Don' t think I' m not touching the
girls. You' ll understand, you don' t call him not wanting
to have children, not being able to have children. I scratched a lot
and scratched a lot and realized that I wanted the same thing as everyone else.
I want to be able to get pregnant and abort. I have the
right to abortion. Hell, yeah, feminist, yeah, pro chois what
' s up, thanks. What if this ace can kill me to see
the skinny ones or what I want too. That' s why. That
' s why he gave me a lot of frogs. I got really scratched.
I stayed or not. I felt good. I started a very,
very, very, very convulsive spiral. Not free buffel and junk food.
You' re thinking of nobody. You mean junk food. Don' t
touch bottom Some bakeries still have pictures of me to attend to. I mean,
yeah, I was breaking up personal relationships and he' s gonna have
a flea market without realizing he' s got a problem. Until one day
I realized I had a problem. He left a bathroom at 4 a m
on New Year' s Eve with Jaime Marichalar and Miguel Miguel Bosé. I
saw a mirror with a white film, the istra of guilt because I was
eating a desaimada and there I realized that I had a problem because I still
had Annun going up to the tiles of cocaine. Man, thanks a lot.
That' s it.