Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the song We Welcome the Talking Point with Rayed
Angeler discussing the hot topics and answering your questions Saturday's five to seven pm on
Adventist Radio London. It's talking Point, it's talking point, it's talking point,
it's talking point, conversations you need to have. Yeah you good evening,
good evening, good evening, and welcome to talking Points. I apologize
we start a little late forew technical difficulties, but we are here. I'm
here in the studio. It's Angela and today I'm joined by Zenya, my
trusty co host. Sadly, my other co host is joining us, but
won't be hearing much from him unfortunately, has a bit of a cold or
maybe flu or dare I say the sea word. Let's hope it's not that,
But yes, Pedro, hopefully you get better soon. Yeah, we'll
miss your dulcit tones coming through the radio now. But well, I hope
you've all had a really good sabbath and you are here locked in with us
and ready to hear a really good show today. I hope you've all had
a good week, and yeah, here we are, So we're going to
get started. We'll say hello to everybody in a second, but let's start
off by having a word of prayer. Father God, I want to thank
you for blessing us with the Sabbath day, dea Lord, and I thank
you that we have the opportunity to be on the radio, to share a
word and share some information. And I pray de Lord that what we're going
to be talking about today will be a blessing to someone. We're touching on
one of our topics that we often talk around, mental health and how that
can that can things that we do can impact them and make a big difference.
I thank you Your Lord for blessing us. And yes, best I
show today. This is my prayer. Amen Amen. So I said,
yeah, how are we? I am wow rush today jumping from one to
the next, but I thank God for life, thank God for the saber,
thank God for bringing me through another week. So in all, I
am well, and well has you been a busy one? It has been?
It has been, But when is it not? Is the question?
As you. I mean, we've been saying it so often that it's become
the word of the month a YEARI how busy and hectically tired. Just how
quick time is going as well, which is yeah, yeah, you know
every week we say this, oh we're here again, and it's like,
yeah, how was seven days past already? But yeah, but thankful,
I mean, same with me, busy as always. It feels like I've
been without my car actually this week, and interestingly enough, I'm not verse
to public transport, but I realize how much having a car often makes a
difference. Everything's taken a lot longer than i'd normally normally do, and you
know, I probably miscalculating some of my time frames as well, so it's
taken a lot longer. But you know, yeah, it's not been a
bad week. I know, we always talk about the weather. It's been
a bit of a mixed bag again, although we've had a bit of a
some nice weather this week, which has been surprising for October. But you
know, the last few days's been a bit raining. But today on my
way, I actually saw a rainbow today, which makes me really happy,
you know, and yes, definitely reminders that God, yeah, it's definitely
turn I'm liking the kind of crispness of the air with the sunshine, not
so much with the rain. I got caught out in the rain. I
think on actually yesterday, that's what Pleasure was saying as well, Yeah he
was caught in it and possibly has just for people to be aware of this
weather is difficult to dress for, difficult to maneuvering in because you think,
oh, yeah it's going to be warm. It's not. You think it's
going to be bright. It's typical weather. It definitely is. Yes,
So we're going to jump right in. So today we are going to be
talking and highlighted. This week it was Mental World Mental Health Day on Tuesday,
and you know we like to talk about definitely want to you know,
have the conversation going about mental health of alls and you know, mental health.
The theme this year was that, you know, mental health is a
human right for everyone, and you know we all have mental health and we're
really trying to promote good, positive mental health and looking at ways and how
you can look after yourself. There are obviously, having said all of that,
it's a universal right, but there are disparities around mental health in terms
of different groups, different ethnicities, et cetera. More probably we speak probably
a lot about how mental health impacts young people and children. The high levels
of mental health maybe not so spoken about in terms with men, especially different
groups and what have you. But an area that we're going to touch on
today is actually with seniors. I know we were having a chat about this
in terms of the Golden Years or the Twilight years, I was told yesterday
and I was like, okay, so mental health and wellbeing the Twilight years,
which I have symptoms, isn't really spoken about as much unless it's to
do with an illness. I think as people get older, you know,
it's you know, these I suppose are breaking down. You know, you
can't do the things that we maybe used to do when we're younger. Having
said that, that's what we sometimes is a perception. However, actually,
you know, there are many older people who you know, they're thriving,
they're doing things from day to day and mental health is still just important to
them. So today, we've got a couple of guests on with us today
have joined us. One we made letters may recognize the nom already because she's
joined the show before. We've got Dorothy Elliott on, one of our resident
therapists and counselors, and we've also she recently ran a project at Ballum Church
for they have a senior citizens group called the Autumn Rose Club. Now,
as a member of Balam, I'm going to champion this one. So but
it was really interesting that they've done this now with the Autumn Rose Club has
been going for many years, and we've got one of the co founders on
with us today, in General Robinson. So we hear a little bit from
her second but I find it really interesting, and I'll get Dorothy to talk
a little bit about the team that she leads, Avertt Ballam and why something
like that's really important, but also then how they are working with different groups,
whether it's in the church or within the community as well. So we're
gonna hear from them shortly. I'm gonna play a quick track. I've picked
up another one that one of my favorite songs. I'm gonna I quite like
Kirk Franklin generally, but I'm gonna play I Smile because I saw a rainbow
coming in. Always makes me feel happy, always brings a smile, something
I haven't seen for a long time. So we'll start with that and then
we'll come back and we'll get this conversation going. So I Smile by Kirk
Franklin Depression today. But there is no sunshine, nothing but clouds, and
it started in my heart and it feels like a cold night. Today's a
do today? Where ama sky? Where is a love? And the joy
that you promised me tell me so right? I'll be honest with you.
I mostly a power that Candy Spain fell from heaven like a shower. When
I think comes better. I'm gonna beleeve when this is over. Even though
I see I smile, I know that is working. So e a beautiful
wow? What you do? I smile? Come on, smile show would
hate to sing again now God's people, ye so much shallow baes smile so
s every day gonna be perfect, but it's still on me today don't have
purpose? Come on today but there is no sunshine, nothing but clouds,
and it starting my heart and it feels like a cold night. It ain't
easy, but today's you tell me wherever my lucy, where is that love?
Y'all is love and the joy that you promise me tell me is all
right? The truth is almost power and I can't explay Holy goes power with
y'all from mad like the shower I know would hurt child, but still come
home even though I see and you have to feel that guy's fucking so much
skill stop town. So I hate to say it again cause people give us
so much. Let's whoa. Can you just smile whatever you're in right now,
smile and you just SMI and the people saying so much, you know
it's must say you and why you're waiting here? Yeah, and why you
praying? You look in the mirror, always remember the sommerstad almost but that
holy goes power yall turned down from having horse difficulties. Here's his doors.
This is what I do. This, whatever is good is all things are
working? Still stop. I know it's hard right now. We hate to
see again because you're a winner. You look better. Tell us much,
New Orleans, come on, Cleveland, Detroit, chose hello. All the
people say, see, I just don't want you to be happy because then
you gotta have something happen there. I want you to have joy, because
can't nobody take that tun I see you smiling, okay, Franklin, I
smile, And definitely smiling is definitely a good thing to be doing. Definitely
if you're will and facts, actually smiling and laughing is actually very good for
your well being. Releases what I would always call those happy hormones, but
the serotonin and mean so definitely whatever brings you joy, do more of that,
and let's see those smiles. So Cynia, we're talking today a little
bit about mental health in relation to older I just think, what's this term?
Actually we should be using senior citizens of seniors. But I also I
know when I was talking to Joan yesterday calling it the twilight years or the
golden years. You know, for many people they sort of see this the
best years of their life that maybe that could be questionable possibly but because things
obviously do very different. But yes, totally getting there and I have I
know, you know, I know, hopefully God willing, I've got years
to come. But I know sometimes I say that aging is real and it
comes around very quickly. But with that said, you know, you know,
if you're living well, staying healthy, you can be thriving into your
senior years as well. So so we have our guests today, Like I
said, we've got Dorothy in the studio with us, and we've got one
of the co founders of the Autumn Rose Club, Joe Robinson, who I'm
going to bring on now just to kind of introduce herself and just tell us
a little bit about the club itself, a little bit of the history.
Yes, so welcome Joan. Thank you so much for joining us and you
know, taking your time out this evening. And how are things with you?
And how's your week been? Okay, where do I start? How's
my week been a little bit? Tell us a little bit about you and
how you've been. I've been fine, very busy, as always occupied with
various commitments as most of us are, with our family members and siblings and
church and work. But thankfully I'm not in paid work, well not not
not for finance anyway. Okay, So but did reasons though that I've never
really retired. But I'm giving thanks, okay, and this opportunity is really
made very nervous. Actually, please don't be you know, we'd like to
think on talking point. It's like having a discussion amongst friends, right,
Yes we are on the airways. People are listening, but you know,
yeah, just ye just talk away. So so thank you for that.
So tell us a little bit about the Autumn Rose Club. Now, as
a member of Ballum Church, I know of the Motor Autumn Rose Club and
since it's been going for a long time. So tell us a little bit
about the club, how it started and why it started. So I know
you're one of the co founders. Okay. So the club has been going
now for over twenty plus years. It started with some seniors who failed that
they didn't have any form of involvement in the community other than coming to church
or doing their shopping. And as a fairly new person in the church,
I was taken under their wings as the mothers of Zion. Yeah, and
they would often invite me to their birthday parties and various other things. And
I didn't feel that I had enough in relation with them apart from the fact
that they were initiating me into the church life. And because I coming from
an Anglican background, they were interested to know what made me chose to give
up my previous Christian religion and come to the Semi Adventists. So from that
we got talking and they were disappointed that the church didn't provide any social activities
for the seniors, and so individual homes became the place of socializing, which
was great and I loved it because I got to learn so much about the
seniors. So when I see them in church and Sabab. Whilst they were
mother in Zion, they were also my spiritual guardian, just like I am
to other people. So from that I remember thinking how can we reach out
for their needs? And one of the challenges that I was given was to
do a survey in the church and I did this survey and ironically Dorothy was
one of the instrumental person in that research that we did, you know,
and they it took many information gathering with the church members and getting it on
the church board agenda to be discussed and greed and eventually it did get on
the agenda, and it took a lot of debate and they did agreed for
us to have a club. However, at the time they were mainly concerned
with where would the club be if it is part of the church. And
at the time we were into our building project, Ballum Churches building project,
and we didn't have any washroom facilities apart from the porter cabins that we had
outside, and we didn't have any canting facilities either. So what we did
was we said we would only have the activities inside what was It wasn't a
gym, but it was the most suitable place that we could occupy very briefly,
and that's where it started. And then we got together again to choose
the name, okay, and again that took a number of research, so
it wasn't any one person who chose it. So the name became Autumn Rose
Club because it represented someone said the sunset when the sun sets in the evening,
so it's like twilight years. So that was that's where the Twilight Years
came from. And some of the individuals, I'd love to name them because
they were so instrumental. One of them was Dorothy's mother, sister Anderson,
and another Anderson. They all related. Eron's mom. I don't know if
you all know Eron Anderson his mom. And then and the number for the
brother Mum frees Senior and oh my gosh, I can't think of all their
names now. But the same eight person, Joyce Hinglton, who came together
and made it all what happened. We've been the same eight committee ever since
to this day, apart from those who were not alive, of course,
and so i'd like to made their sort of continued rest in peace. And
then Sister Page as well, and Sister Messiah. You know, these are
the people who were instrumental in making this all happen. And at the time
I was women Ministry's leader and Sister Bennett. I could I forget Sister Bennett
because she, Sister Bennett, was the one who came to me initially to
ask if I would like to lead out in it, and then from there
I'm going backwards, luck because I'm trying to remember off the top of my
head how it all went. But it took a lot of planning and a
lot of persuading and how we were going to run the club and which day
week it would happen. So it's changed over the years. I think we
used to start on a Thursday. Then it come on a Tuesday, and
it's been a Tuesday now for a very very long time. And we used
to have between thirty and fifty members, and it was about thirty thirty ladies
and my ten men, sometimes twelve men, and the men would only play
dominoes and there wouldn't and they were cooking any of anythings. So dominoes were
their baby. And that's sort of the things that happened. And here we
are twenty three plus years later, you know, and the major setback that
we've had is with It's with COVID back in twenty nineteen, early twenty and
we continued online for for nearly two years, which was great. Yeah,
and shall I shall I stop there? Yeah? No, that's coolus because
I was gonna say, it's interesting you brought in about COVID because I was
wondering. Obviously the key thing there, from what I can see, you
decided to put it together because it's a way of everybody coming together. There
wasn't anything for the seniors, and I guess one of the was one of
the main things then for you to kind of keep those connections going outside of
church. So you've got other things that it is. So what kind of
activities and things did you sort of would you put the club? Could the
members be doing club? Right? So we did a lot of activities.
Exercise was the main thing to because they felt that they didn't get any They
didn't have the opportunity to have any physical reason to leave their home other than
if they go shopping or to come out to church, right, So the
exercise was one of their priority. The next thing was to do with their
spiritual needs and their mental needs, and we were one of the first group
that connected with the community and we put on Alzheimer's Workshop workshop on Alzheimer's back
then, because Assimer's was the first area of mental health challenges and they focused
on seniors. And we have a recording which we I think we were to
get it out of the archive and show it to see how far we've come
and what was happening back then, you know. And we're still with that
community group now as well, and they've been supporting, supportive of our activities
and help us with access fundings as well to keep the club going. And
it's been quite interesting over the years, you know, to see where we've
come from and where we're going to go. Because we down COVID, we
didn't think it would survive, you know, especially when we it took so
long to get them into the technology being seniors right then we've got them active
and want to do it, and then they had to come offline and go
back in persons, which has taken a long time. But what has made
it more viable at the moment is partnering with Dorothy with the Mental Health and
Well Being Department, and that has really cared an interest so that people have
other ways of talking. So once once they were happy to come for the
exercise session. They were not challenging with the interactive part of their life because
they said they didn't see anyone, not in some of their family members,
yes, but anyone outside of church and never saw them until from one Sabbath
for the next, so that that was their main concern. So we used
to have prayer session as well, and we still do. And one of
the things that we were praying for was to get the young people to join
up with us. But it's taken so long because there were different reasons why
it's taking this long, But the main thing was the young people who we
approached, I don't think they were ready for people to know. And the
young I'm talking about those who were in their fifties, that's what I'm talking
about. I would say, oh, we don't want anyone to know that
we're fifty, you know, we're not going to say because when we started
it was sixty plus right then when we wanted more help because the seniors all
at the time, some of them were seventy and eighty, you know,
and I was their baby at the time to them, right So the other
members in the church who were in approateen sixty. They didn't want anyone to
know that they were sixty. So we said, oh kay, let's put
it down to fifty then, and that was all. We changed it from
sixty to fifty. And now that wanted to change a game. But I'm
not sure what's going to happen. But as long as it continues, I
really don't care. Yeah, well I don't care. I do care that
it was still continue in a progressive and positive way, of course, but
not sort of regress and going back to not being available to people. You
know, we wanted to be relatable and to be interactive and we just love
for more men to come. Okay, yeah, cool. So and you've
you've just to jump in because you said a lot there, and as you're
talking, I'm wanting to unpack a bit of what you've said. Firstly,
you talk about there being some difficulty in getting the project or the club off
the ground. I've got to start there because I want to know, if
you're to give advice to others who may be thinking of doing something like this,
what are some of the hurdles that they might expect and how do they
overcome them. You're saying that it was it took a while to get onto
the board. That surprises me. It took a long a while to be
approved. What are some of the things that they should look out for,
because I think this is such an amazing project, an amazing club, it
really should be wider spread. I quite agree with you on that. But
what we need to bear in mind is that church in its in its priority
learning has come a long way because when we started this, it wasn't the
done thing. You know, they just concentrated on their spirituality, so they
didn't see the need for from a club steparate to the church. Yes,
so we've come a long way from that. And also why it took a
long time, it's the objections because as you know, we're all human beings
and still there are some people who won't move with changes. You know that
they are setting their ways and until they see things happening, they won't support
it. So a lot of us and we as as our culture, we
won't support things until we see its progression and how much it's happening, how
much people bought into it. So what the time as well? The other
challenges was it's not the dumb thing, what kind of club it would be?
And Also there were some seniors who were still around saying that we've already
had the club and it just fizzled out after a little while. It didn't
last, So why do you think that our club would last? And I
said, I don't know why your club didn't last, but our club last
will last because we are serious about it. And the woman ministry was just
about getting recognition as well, you know. So it seemed like God has
brought me the church for starting things, but not just starting it and leaving
it. Because I'm a determined person in the sense of when I start something,
I want to see it start and finished. Yes, and if it's
not to finish, it must start and thrive to continue. Yeah, so
we've got to also, so in another answer to your question, with current
their current day culture and people, in order to get people to buy into
a new practice or a new vision, lobbying not like the politicians do,
but talking to people of like mind in order to let them see what it
is that you're trying to do. That it's not about changing the spirituality of
the church or being a offshoot. It's about meeting people's needs. Because meet
people's needs in all areas of their life. And often times when I'm in
the church, you know, people used to feel that, oh the ceremony
is all I've got and some sermons didn't even do it for me. Yeah,
and I'm home and my children may not be in the church, So
what do I do? Who do I talk to? You know? So
those are the things. So we need to be mindful of those things.
And it's not about forcing people to accept what you're trying to achieve, but
to let them see the benefits and the reason why you're doing it that is,
you know, it's selfless. It's not because you want to promote sale,
but because you really care. Good man. I love that. And
again, as you were just talking there, Joan in terms of you know
who you are as a person that I forgot to mention at the beginning.
It's also Black History Month and the theme is celebrating our sisters. So I
think it's really lovely again that we have two women who are making a difference
and an impact in our communities, both church and outside in our local areas
as well. So yeah, that ties in beautifully with that as well.
So I'm going to go to Dorothy now just to talk a little bit about
the team that she leads over at ballam so a new initiative that she set
up. So I just want to hear about that, and then we'll talk
a little bit about how the two of linked together autumn. Rosus. Obviously
you've done some kind of products around mental health, but especially after COVID I
guess many challenges that came from that as to where I'm going to go there.
So Dorothy, how are we today? I'm well, thank you.
Yeah, the weather's been beautiful. It's not it's been as hot as maybe
we'd like, but I think it's Once I see the sun, I'm happy.
And we've seen the sun and we've seen the rain and we've felt the
breeze. But I'm grateful. Had a great day this morning in church and
I'm here in the studio, which is a verse. Yeah. Is it
exciting. Yes, it's always nice to have the company. So that's fantastic.
So Dorothy, now, just for the listeners who may not have heard
you before, tell us a little bit about yourself, what you do,
and then tell us a bit about the team that you need at about them.
Okay, so yeah, my name's Dorothy. I am a psychotherapist over
twenty odd years, maybe thirty years, mainly practiced within education university colleges.
Right now I have a private practice. I go into organizations and do workshops
talk about on different topics. Let's talk about the church. This year,
eighteen months ago Ballam Church started a mental health and well being department, which
I'm heading and really really excited to do this because I think it's something that
the church needs. It's really important about our safety and giving people a safe
space. So what we've done at Ballam is try to get into each department
of the church. We felt it was really important not to be a stand
alone project, but something that is in it we get involved with. Each
department is entwined. So we were very very keen to work with the Autumn
Rose Club. One of the reasons, as Joan said, the Autumn Rose
Club real was beneficial for my mother. My dad used to that he kept
her out of problems, he knew where she was on a Tuesday, and
she built up some really good friendships. So that was one of the main
things, other than going to church on the Sabbath. There's some really solid
friendships and people in the community which she otherwise probably would not have what's met
with and spoken to. So it's really keen to work with the senior members
of our church. And it was how do we get to it? So
let's do this, and so I had an idea to do six weeks workshop.
We said, start somewhere, see how it all works. And it
was also because I used to speak with Journal and wanted to get involved with
Autumn Rows. And we spoke together and we thought, what do we need
to do to get people more involved get back after COVID And it was to
offer them something more than just the exercises because we try and do things holistic.
Their mind, bodies, under soul, spiritual life, and physical health.
Mental health really really important for Autumn Roads and the church at large.
So we came together and thought, right, yeah, let's do something.
We offered them six workshops. What were they on? Bereavement loss, difficult
communication in financial struggles, confusion, disconnected from the youth. That's initially their
workshops. We decided to do so with those workshops that you had, those
different themes and topics, were they ones that you were chosen? Was it
in collaboration or is it something because I guess what was I'm thinking there is
are the particular issues or concerns that seem the either person to seniors or that
seniors are facing. I don't know if that's necessarily universal across the board,
but why are those particular topics? So one of the reasons I had spoken
to some of the senior members of BALA, but in my own private practice,
I was just reflecting on the clienteles that I had and what they came
to me on at at a certain age, and those were some of the
themes that were coming through. That's how I chose those. Okay, cool,
So you did six weeks. Six weeks, so tell me a little
bit about how you ran the sessions. Okay, So the first week that
we started, we actually did seven because the first week we started, we
didn't get past introduction because we just said, you know, it was the
first exercise I gave them to do was just introduce yourself, and I gave
them excise how to do it, and we did it. And then it
was what is it you want from these workshops? And we just had a
whole session because the workshops were only an hour because we thought we wanted we
didn't want to make it too long, give them something and they want to
come back. And I just noticed they wanted to talk. They wanted to
talk, they spoke. We had to really manage them because they would have
just spoken and spoken. What was interesting for me because the week before I
had worked with some teenagers and I did a workshop with them, and then
when I came to do with our senior members, very similar traits. Oh
interesting. They spoke, they had their phones on, their phone was ringing,
nobody was listening to me. It was really interesting. But they liked
just being together in that safe place. Because the thing is the mental health
team, but we tried to create safe places for people to talk. So
a part of the how we made this safe was it was just them and
we offered them. What I liked this month is you I think you alluded
to mental health. We yeah, it word mental Health Day. And one
of the things as you're talking there, they're one of the things that they
encourage and it's come up across several campaigns is the idea of tea and talk.
So basically the idea of getting to I mean, food's always a good
thing to bring people together and people like to talk and food, tea,
cake, patties, whatever, it would be is often a way to kind
of get people comfortable sit around chatting and making those connections. So as you're
saying that that really yeah. Yeah. So when Joan and I spoke,
we thought food's important a light refreshment, and we offered them a patty and
a drink, okay, and they did like that. They stay and when
we get it was at the end. We gave them that and then they
could just talk to each other, sit down and talk together, and they
really did enjoy that. Cool. Cool. So in terms of how you
how many people attended the sessions now again is I guess this was a bit
of a new it's a new project that you were doing. What was the
interest like? So the first week Jones said that eight people turned up.
The second week it doubled, Oh wow, there were sixty, and every
week it doubled. And the week it really went we had the largest when
we did it was it we did one week on loneliness, that right,
Joe, And then the next was bereavement and everybody turned out to that.
That was the most attended one. The loneliness and bereavement that was we just
got I think the we had how much was it most we had their thirty
Hamminy Joe, Yes, we had thirty. I think it was over thirty
one week as well. But those two people were that it was amazing.
Those two were asked, is that just for trash? No? Was it
all goned to the community. It was open to the community, and most
of the people was from the community. Most of them were from the community,
and they came because the first week they're not on church people that they
go to their own church, most of them. And the first week I
said to them, let's do this thing. Each one, bring one.
So next week you come, bring somebody and they did. And that's how
it grew. Everybody just told everybody told somebody, and then we just came
from there and it just grew and grew. Okay, So it's it's quite
interesting you're saying about loneliness. Loneliness, and you know, loneliness has been
a big theme, especially after because of COVID, the fact that people were
you know, unless you're you know, you're around people, you have big
families and what have you. You know, that's definitely something been highlighted.
But I guess for many seniors, you know, you talked about bereavements as
well. That actually loneliness is a big thing off with it's partners or just
your friends, because you know, sadly people pass away and often they're kind
of people that they connect with, so I guess so with learneliness. But
that as a theme kind of what was the key things that were coming out
from that, and then again doing to jump in there as well with any
thoughts and then because then if you got any questions, yeah, to jump
in as well, do you want to start? Bereavement was high on the
list of interest and relevant to most of those who were there. But what
people were also concerned about was when their children leave off to go to university
or they go and live abroad, you know, so they don't have that
immediate contact with them, and it was hard for them to get through the
COVID period as well, you know. And then there were others who were
concerned that they were not getting enough information about why they should take the vaccine.
And because as really know, coming from the flu area flu era,
when we take the flu job, we know that it's some form of flu
that we're taking or that that's been given to us. So they thought that
it's safe to do with the vaccine. So a lot of people who didn't
want to come out and still don't want to come out, is still fearful
because of all that propaganda that've been bantered about. Yea, So if they
had contact with someone who will have the knowledge as to not so much from
a scientific background, but just the knowledge to come and sit with them and
say, this is all it does, and this is the reason why.
And we've been having vaccine for many I'm sure if I say two hundred years
that anybody can support me and that I'm sure we've been having vaccine, Yes,
because polio go back that far. Yeah, so we've been having that
happening. So for me, putting that relation to the seniors helped them to
understand that it's their choice if they want to take the COVID vaccine or not,
you know. And I encouraged some of them to let them know that
any vaccination they take in order for it to for them not to react too
much, is to eat an egg because of the consistency that they're putting the
vaccine, the ingredients that's in the vaccine. And you might find this funny,
but this came from we discovered this because of my husband when they were
giving him vaccination because of his dialysis. He was having adverse effects when he
took it. And then we found that it's the ingredients that they're put in
and egg was something that could take you know. Yeah, But again,
like you said, so that's what affected people is meant to help, right,
Yes, that kind and I guess, like you said, having that
be able to And I come on to this as well, in terms of
the reassurance of somebody that you can sit there and talk because there's so much
chatter going on, but you have someone to kind of sit there and go
through. But as you were talking about that the whole idea of trusting,
because I can imagine sometimes people, as much as they want to make connections
and they want to talk to people, sometimes they're not that comfortable sharing stuff.
So how how was how was the sharing idea? I mean you said
that you like to talk? How was that? I guess how do you
build up the trust? How were people trusting in that kind of context?
So because I was new to the group, if they knew Joan, so
I was the new person. Although everyone were kept saying I know your mother,
I knew your mother. She was part of it, and I said
to them, so we did the ground rules. So it was really important
for me to set we want to create this safe space for you. You
can say how you want it. Do you want it to get to a
certain amount, and then you don't want anymore people come into the group.
But what we did say is, well everything that's says heir, we just
keep it here because we want to encourage people to talk talk about things that
maybe you don't talk to anybody else. This is a place where you can
do it. So each week we just did and what I did was break
them down sometimes and didn't work in a large group, so they worked in
twos because some people didn't like talking in the large group, but they would
talk in when they're talking one to one with somebody. Each week they spoke
and every week I shared a little bit more about myself and if I share
them then encouraging them to share, and a few other people just it was
just creating the atmosphere saying it's confidential. What we say here stays here,
it's not for anybody else. And what we found when we were talking about
loneliness, it was really hard for people to admit I was lonely. Who
do I tell that I am lonely? How does that come to? Up?
Was empty nest syndrome syndrome. There was that. Some people were saying,
Oh, I'm glad I've got my own space, and others, you
know, there was I remember one particular member she was saying, we all
thought that because she had people around her that she was okay, but she
wasn't. What She had lost her partner, her husband, so she was
lonely. Yes, she may have had children and grandchildren, but she was
lonely because she had that partner. And that's how it came about as well,
you know, and it was about encouraging them to ask for their needs
to be met. Find one person that you can say how you really feel?
How do you really feel? We talked about when we go to we
attend church and we asked people how are you and they say they're fine.
And I said, if you say you're fine, people are going to think
you're fine and you're not fine, So you're not getting your needs met and
how many times you know? And then we need to look out for each
other. So if you see somebody or they do say they're fine, but
you can see because sometimes when you can hear somebody, but you can also
look at them and they're same fine, but their face isn't the same.
Fine. Yeah, So encouraging them to talk to each other, take an
interest with each other, and to also try and say to people, take
responsibility for how you feel and what you share. If you don't ask for
things, you might not get it. And then they just started to open
up the topics. We ask them as well, what is it you want
to talk about? What do you want from us? And we listen to
them and we try to give them what they needed and that encouraged them and
they made oh so you are interested, Oh, because Joan talks about when
Joan started, they said to Joan, we've had a club and it didn't
last. And it was the same thing with the workshops. Well, how
long are you here for many workshops? Are you going to do? They
wanted to know are you going to leave us? That was really important.
So it was it was important to be clear we're going to initially just do
six workshops and then we'll look again and see what we can offer us.
We broke it down. We're not saying we're going to do this to you
forever, So there was a beginning and an end, so they had that
and once we established that, so even now people are saying, when are
you going to do it? When are you going to offer more of this
safe space, we recognize that they wanted that safe space. Interesting statistic that
I came across it. So there's one in four older person is living with
a mental condition mental health condition, but only fifteen percent will receive NHS help.
That's scary. It's our elders. So our elderly are out there trying
to navigate this on their own. And I just salute you both because this
is an excellent project. It allows for our elders to have a space,
as you've said, Dorothy, a safe space where they can share their concerns
and if there's anything that's beyond your scope, then I'm certain that you can
then sort of signpost them where they need to be. So that's that's crucial
exactly. That's what we do, and this is what we've been able to
do to continue with the openness and building the relationship because one of the first
activities that we did, not activities recording that we do for the community,
was about managing your moods, managing the moods as seniors, you know,
especially from a cultural perspective, because what a lot of the seniors found or
rather shared back then about their loneliness and isolation from church from one week to
the other is that when they were at work, there was a club at
work that they could go to and sit and have a chat and laugh with
their friends. But at church they don't have that, you know. So
we were able to tap into that and let them realize that our five senses
covers our mental health and our mental wealth, you know, so if we
don't have the five senses functioning as it ought and basing it on the scripture
so that we see where the spiritual come, as to where the physical come,
where they emotionalize. So once we were able to do that, that
time that went on for a whole year, that workshop on and off,
you know, because we did it in blocks because we didn't want to pressure
people into just twelve months of our workshop on mental health. So each team
properly was all another era that we focused on. So cooking was something to
show them that the food you eat is what helps you to be healthy.
And then for Alzheimer's. You know, it was part of what we helped
to address at the time. So to see now that it's been taken up
and that we've got the got figures to refer to, it's a big improvement.
And this month, it's interesting that it is our Women's month, so
we should be congratulating one another for the video achievements that we've been successful.
Okay, I'm going to take a pause there for some more music and then
when I want to come back, actually just to kind of talk a little
bit about another topic that you did, and I know you had You've got
quite a big teams door a thief of various ages and different people within the
group, and I know you did intergeneral and intergenerational and communicating with others.
So I want to talk a little bit about that, and I've got some
feedback what I did. I spoke to some people who were participants or had
been involved in that and got some feedback on that. So I want to
share some of that as well, and also hear a bit more about some
of the other topics that you did and the feedback and the impact that you've
seen that it's had on people. So we're going to go to my track
now, Maurett Brown Clark. I just want to praise you. I just
want forever. Come on, I never you don me. That's sing down,
okay, be low, be below. Thank you Jesus, he see
me. We just come to forever forever. Yeah, yeah for all that
chipto Pummy. Put your hand on your chest and say, fumy call me.
Can nobody tell it like you can tell it? And dona they all
belong to you, Jesus, get some crded out of my son. Thank
you, Jesus, Thank you, Jesus. Hold on, pet come on
and clap your hands. You've done some phrase up in here. We're gonna
phrase him forever and never and never do for everything that you turn from me,
everything that you tell. Bumpy Pummy, Bumpy Pully, You're just so
on the glory. You just somebody gonna cheesus every thing to you, to
you do Jase. So we say thank you, my blessing. Moe Plea.
The just want to thank you. Cheese rever. We've got to write
to have them we've done right to praise you. We've got to write some
blessing because we'll be thinking about everything that you've done for us. Some of
us may your hand, some of us cut my hands. Some of us
sleep, some of us sleep off because he brought us the money. Look
tame and tefer thing, but honks to your cheeta. Everything belongs to your
cheat. We come to let the world down now with nothing without your hair.
We talk tom bless your day. We come to bless your name.
Come on and he the lift God up. Fine, he deserves it to
be ahead. Come on, han si today, come morning, let's bless
his day. We come to Gimmer. We come to Gimmer God, we
come to give floor. We come together over the prey. Don't get tired.
And yet this God doesn't get tired of here put just so something blooring,
He just sun so the Lord to make it a bless you you created
and made a bla said so to praise. I've got a ride right to
bless him. Oh no, bless your holy name. I want to bless
your holy name. I don't want to beg came not giving your name,
praise, not giving your name? Ray? Why because he's worthy one,
because he's holy? What, because he's right es what? Because he's just
God? We bless him? We bless him, We bless him, We
bless him. Boome, praise be Bason, please rise, we are you,
we are you were you were missus Town. No, No, that's
bout down. Pray bless your well, bless him, Pray bless you,
pray, bless you, pray blessing, pray bless you, pray blessen,
prave bless er, pray bless your Lord. Impressure No, we can your
namebor glory ka chloris. Then you cheat me hollowoo jum, thank you cheeser.
Just what a praise you my brown Clark. Yeah, and again you're
playing. I've shows a few sort of uplifting songs for this show today,
because again, music is definitely something good for your wellbeing. And you know,
I'm sure what do you think about as seen as the amount of music
they may have heard listen to Yeah, over the years, So definitely a
wellbeing practice listening to music. So yes, So, Sonia, you have
some other questions you're going to go to well, I just wanted to unpack
a little bit about the topics that were discussed. There's some really heavy topics
I feel like bereavement, loss. What were some of the issues that were
raised or some of the solutions that came out of those discussions, because it'd
be interesting to hear from you for those who weren't there, but our elders
themselves or careers, what what were some of the things that came out of
those those discussions that might be useful. I'm mindful as I speak. One
of the things we said is what we say here stays here, And any
of them could be listening to this, and I don't want them to think,
oh, she's gat to talk whatever. I mean, what how do
we tackle bereavements and help our seniors through, you know, these periods of
loss because as we age, that's that's kind of the stage of life where
we're at where we see more loss and more more death in our own circle.
Our circle changes because of that, we're no longer working. It's such
a soul and people move away, even not to die, but just move
away. Interest change. So there's a lot of difference change that happens at
that stage in our lives. And how do we support our elders or how
do our elders support themselves in that process. So one of the things I
did say to them is try not to stay alone. It's really easy when
you're going through a bereavement to just cut yourself off and think that nobody cares,
nobody's interested, nobody understands. So one of the things I said,
it's to make contact. To go for a walk, even if you at
first just start with just sitting in your garden, just going to your front
door and saying hello to one person, you know, to find somebody that
you can really talk to and be open up to about how you're feeling about
it. So that's the firstly when it comes to bereavement, not stay limited
time by yourself. To talk to people, to find a group, to
find somebody to open up. And the same with the loneliness. It's hard
sometime to admit that you're lonely, but it's to find at least one person,
take up a new hobby, take up an activity, whatever it is,
open up to somebody and talk. Listen to the radio like what we're
doing now, get in touch with someone on the radio. Send a message
in because it could be anonymous, so you might not want people to know
that it's you, but you can send in messages in the radio like this
show, an anonymous message about something and as you're saying that again. I've
got to do that the top of the show. If you didn't want to
contribute to our program today, you've got any thoughts on what we're talking about
or any tips that you want to share, please you can email us at
studio at Advintage Radio dot London, or you can text us on eight trip
or two eight write hope and then your message. You can also whatsappers as
well on seven four five nine six four to eight nine eight. So do
contribute. We'd love to hear from you. As Dorothy said, sometimes just
sharing your thoughts can be a way of making those connections. There's one a
person that did attend. She was from the community, and she doesn't mind
me sharing this. She came back after we spoke about I think it was
loneliness or was it very And she came back and she said, last week,
what's the best week I've had in my life since I lost my husband.
Wow. Because she'd attended this group and what she got she used some
of the tips. She'd been out, she had been out, she had
made new friends by coming to the group. She had started to talk and
be open and honest. She said it was the best week in her life
because she tried some of the tips. So they're simple and they're basic.
But in one week she came back and she said, that was the best
week I've had since I lost my partner. Wow. So simple, ones,
Zani, when you ask the questions, I tried to keep it simple.
Yeah, that's amazing. That's amazing. And as you as you're saying
that, I know, I've been sort of speaking to a few people who
had attended, just to kind of get some feedback of what their experience was.
And I spect to one gentleman. There wasn't many men that attended,
I understand, but he will say, you know what, actually I may
not necessarily feel I have some of those particular issues. However, he was
quite you know, he felt it was really important. You could see the
benefit because people were really talking and sharing, as you said, and actually
kind of raised his own awareness of maybe what's going on and actually give him
some ideas of what he can do going forward as well. Because as much
as you may think you're not impacted now, maybe at some point later on
you may do. So there's definitely always something to learn from that. So
so definitely that and also, you know, I got a message from Sister
Bennett as well. Actually she's actually away getting some sunshine over in Spain,
so shout out to Sisbnett. I think is listening by. Andrea was her
daughter, and she was saying that, you know, for her, you
know, she liked Dorothy's style. She was very calm, allowed each person
to speak and express himself without feeling pressured. And as she said, some
of these topics are pretty quite heavy. You know, people may have got
quite emotional about certain things or you know, but they felt comfortable enough to
do that even under those sort of circumstances. She also mentioned the same sort
of example that you used that lady there as well. You know, she
was almost like a different person, more cheerful, more upbeat, and again
you know, she was recognized that she wants to do things more of her
life, recognizing the action and I guess, you know, gentle encouragement to
be able to say, you know what, despite my situation, I can
still thrive, I can sid of enjoy life, and it's a complete change.
And she said, you know, this is a powerful example of the
positive impact of the program, and it made us more aware that it was
a definite need for these sort of programs as well, especially with so much
sadness in the world, the idea of end able to come together to share
and you know, feel and deal recognize that you're not alone to deal with
some of these things as well. So thanks has been it for that feedback?
Aren't there as well? Yeah? And because of the feedback, like
you were saying, so and they are deep questions, we and Joan and
I are going to be talking about doing a longer term workshop just on loneliness
and berief because like you said, it can run deep. And what we
try to do, what I try to do when I'm facilitating it to make
it participant lead, So they tell us what they need and what subjects they
want, and they bring the questions to us and we support them through that.
We felt that was really really effective. Cool. We also had the
intergenerational one whereas another member of the mental health team, she's a younger woman,
she's at university studying psychology. She also helped facilitate and was a participant
of it. I think you got some feedback from her. I did,
she as a general thing, but she did ask her went back to and
answer her a couple of questions and one of the questions I asked him was
what was her kind of perception of older people. Now we haven't really touched
much on this, but there are sometimes stereotypes of mintsal what happen you around
the things that's seeniors do or say. And she said that the perception was
that they were completely obedient to instructions, which I thought was really interesting.
I thought they had the same recognition of authority as they expect from younger people.
She was surprised, however, that in the group situation they were just
like teenagers, which Dorothy you said that, you know, they would get
distracted, natter away, tell jokes among themselves so often sometimes had to be
reminded to stay focused, which I thought was really interesting. I know,
right, you know, it's interesting how our perceptions of people, and you
know, not that we're all the same, so there are differences, but
a younger person, that's a perception. And I think she's then went on
to say, you know, she's thought, you know, older and younger
people can connect more by doing the sort of things that she did, getting
involved, attending activities and clubs together and making sure that you listen to each
other's experiences and you get to understand, you get to bond with each other.
I also asked her why she thought it was important to address seeing as
mental health, and she said, you know what, they're members of the
community too. I think sometimes older people could sometimes become forgotten. You know,
maybe they're not as involved in certain things that are happening, whether it's
in the church or the local communities, but you know they are and sometimes
she said she mentioned that she did they often referred to as a silent generation.
So again, it's really important that we include everybody. We talk about
inclusion, diversity, etc. But it's very easy to forget people, you
know, especially if they sit silently, not as but it's you know,
our older members are valued. They should be included, and their mental well
being it's just as you know, important and also some of the things that
maybe we're addressing and that they can share their experiences can be beneficial for them.
It's like, you know, they're passing down their own knowledge. So
John, did you have something you wanted to add to that there, just
to say that the safe space that was emphasized was when they were invited and
found that it was a church church premises. They didn't think it would be
as welcoming as it was. They thought they would have to be sick like
straight laced, can't relax, can't talk, can't joke. So when they
claim, they found that it was quite the opposite as to what they were
expected. So that's why they were able to be relaxed and free to speak,
especially with what you talked about having the rules and let them make the
rules themselves, so that is more owner, self owned, rather than re
dictating, and the other things that we did to make it safe. If
you remember Joe and when when I got in there, they were in rows,
you know, like you do on a on a church morning. Everybody's
one behind the other. And I went, no, no, no,
no, get rid of all of that. Let's have a circle here.
Let's have a circle. Get rid of all the barriers, and you just
sit so we're all together. No one hides. And you saw the naughty
ones on the road they went to the back. It was really strange.
Some people took the back seats. I'm not going to say, come to
the front. If we're in a circle, then we're all here together.
It's one. We're here to hold each other. It's not you know,
I think that helped them as well. But it was really important to say,
no, no, we want to listen to you. You talked about
listening in the silent generation. Sometimes I think that they feel that they're not
going to be listened to, or sometimes they might feel that we don't think
what they've got to say matters. So it was really important to say that
to encourage every member. That's the other thing we did wasn't general. I
did was to encourage them all to talk. That's what it was really important.
To break them down into little groups. And when they were in the
smaller groups, I'd go around to each group and I would let and encourage
them to talk. So I didn't all have to talk in a large group
because that's not for everybody. No, no, And one person was so
excited she said she would she has many appointments after the first session she came,
and if it were possible, she would cancel all the appointments and be
there. But because she'd be waiting so long for the appointment, she didn't
do that. But she was the third week. That's good. Yeah,
go back to inter generational they did. How was honestly, sometimes there is
that sometimes there is that perception or challenge of younger people and older people connecting
some does I find that odd really because of mini many young people have grandparents,
they have older people within their families, but sometimes there does seem to
be a bit of a disconnect. What was the kind of things that came
out from that session that you think kind of made a difference or that actually
we could take away from that, Actually that dispelled all those myths that actually
young and old can get on just fine. But what would you know,
how would that happen and how can we sort of take that forward and encourage
more younger people to all young people doing connect with older and vice versa.
Do you want to take that one? Do you want me to talk?
We haven't had a chance to do that, to address that openly, but
I'm going to base it on past managing the moods of seniors. And what
we did in one of the workshops was to get the young people to come
and interview a senior person. Okay, and we didn't choose those individuals for
them. The young people who came had to choose who they wanted to interview,
and also the interview had to say if they didn't mind by the person
who's chosen them. So that's something that we need to do to match people
up in the future for other sessions that we want to have. And so
that would help us to have to do some groundwork to talk to the young
people. So what would encourage them to come and attend The name Autumn rows
because the automy itself makes makes makes it seems old, so you know,
that might put be young people lot. So I don't know, but we're
looking into that. I don't know if I'm already got any Yeah, anything
to add to that. So when we did it as well the other day
again it was a thing like they don't want to listen to us. They
don't think we're important. That's what the older people say, yes, but
the younger people they don't listen to us. They don't think what we've got
to say is important. They're too busy, they're always on their phones,
they're on their gadgets, they're you know, things like that. They felt
left out. No one's talking to me. And it was like, well,
what is it that you can bring and encourage them? What they did?
You know what them talking there today? I said, how difficult was
that for you? Because you know I was saying, I actually shared with
them what it was like when I worked with the teenagers, and that there's
similar, similar characters. That you're funny. You guys have got a sense
of humor. How much times do you give that? Let other people see
that? You're just doing it here with your peers, But maybe if you
let other people the younger generation, you're funny. You've got so much to
offer other people. Yeah, you've got life, You've got life. We've
all got stories. You guys have real stories. But if you don't value
them, then it's going to be hard for you to share it. So
you need to value that you value yourself and that you do your stories are
important and share them. Sit down and say to them, come on,
let's go for a walk, let's talk. You know, when you go
to church, say hi to a younger person because they feel like you sometimes,
but nobody wants to listen to them. So the same fears that their
older generation have of the younger generation, the younger generation have the older they
don't the older people think that they don't want to listen to them, right,
they don't trust them. It's a similar thing, and it's to encourage
them to look back to when they were younger. Yes, how did they
feel? Yeah, yeah, and going from that as well, said shout
out to Annabel, which is my I know, but she asked us well
about that in terms of, you know, what was your experience like and
how how can some of the things you may be learned and perspective you got
from that you can kind of relate to your own look after your own mental
health and wellbeing. And she said, you know, she recognized that there
are parallels between young people and older people and the things they struggle with.
You know, who've talked about loneliness. Often young people feel lonely as well,
or they feel that they can't talk about things because they're running so much
pressure to look or be a certain way, so they say silent and don't
say anything. So often there is you know, there's parallels with the same
sort of struggles, the challenges, et cetera. So she said that she
felt she gained a real different perspective. There's a lot to be learned from
that, so, you know, definitely something to encourage, you know,
however you do that. But as you said, Dorothy, do connections and
the idea of coming together as a club, you know, like I said,
tea and talk, food and drinks, all those things that will be
helpful. So thank you for those young people you've got in your team who
did get involved in this project as well, because definitely you can see that
it didn't make a difference. So you've got anything to add on that.
Well, just to echo what was said, I mean, there's so much
wisdom to be had, and by myself, I love to sit at the
feet of my elders. I mean, the stories, the knowledge that they
can pass on, I mean, saves us a lot of mistakes really if
we could listen and learn from their own mistakes, you know, and I
think our young people need to learn to value that and appreciate that. Just
maybe about a month or two ago, I spent a weekend myself and my
partner, we spent a weekend with one of our elders and she'd been married
for ups of forty fifty years, and you know, she invited us up
by her and you know, it was an amazing time. She lives at
the seaside and we spent time with her and it was just a weekend of
counsel you know. Make sure you do this, Make sure you do that,
and I'm like, what, No, that's for him to do,
you know. And it was a lot of back and forth, a lot
of talking and hashing it out, and it was just a week and well
spent. And our young people just need to realize that and acknowledge that.
And as you said, Dorothy, our elders need to understand the value that
they bring to the table. I was just so appreciative. I think we
left there stronger than we arrived, yes, but also in order for our
both age group and anyway not there, but both it's up to us as
well to value both age group and make a connection with them. So if
we're just keeping ourselves to ourselves and not interacting with them, then when it
comes to chastisement, because seniors seem to think they have that authority to chastise
you when they're not even spoken to you before wanting to tell you what you
know. So for me, I would love for us to be more loving,
more caring, you know, and go back to the days when we
used to invite people to our homes in the church, you know. And
that's what your people are not pleased about, because there's the only meeting church
and then they form a picture of you and they think that they can't approach
you, and then you sceni you feel that because you are other adults,
you can tell me what's what's just start doing up there. You know,
I'm not going away from the topic, but I'm talking about building a relationship
so that we can know that each of us are the part to play in
our lives. But relistically, it's all about taking everything into into our consideration
so that the stages that we're going through we don't forget it, but we
pass it on. And some of us, as grandparents as will need to
also interact more with their own grandchildren alone other children in the churches. You
know. It's interesting, yeah, to do that, definitely, but it
can be done. And as you said, there's so many similarities that it's
amazing. You know, when you're telling me that they're naughty elders who are
looking to sit in the back of the room, I'm like, what,
yes, and they're chatting away. My imagery has just gone shot, you
know. And what I found you we don't spend the time together, we
won't realize that the differences are a little, yes, compared to the similarities,
and what we can learn from each other. Absolutely totally agree. I
learned a lot as well. I really learned a lot. I absolutely loved
it. It was drained at some stage. But that's a challenge for me,
which is great because again it's expectations. I'm thinking, oh, they're
older, they're going to sit quite dear listen, But why should they?
Why should they? Why am I putting that on them that they should encourages
them to be themselves with themselves is okay, you think you're in charge,
then be in charge, and that's great. How do what did I learn
from that? How could I work with them to still make them feel comfort
but to also let them get engaged and that It was a challenge, but
it's a great challenge. And if we're all open and we don't have this
expectation that the older people are like this or the younger people are like that,
let's just embrace people. People are people. We are all people,
and we want to love and work together and encourage and support individuals. And
for the senior ones to recognize their value. It's really important. And one
of the things I said, you know, as older people, sometimes we're
so straight faced. I think Joan touched on this. You know, we're
not it's hard for someone to come up and speak to you because you look
angry even when you're not. You're looking a particular way. You're not inviting.
So just be aware of your dominion when you're walking around. Smile,
say hi. You know, if you then people feel like, oh I
can talk to them, want to hear from them. But if you're not
inviting, and people will find it more difficult to come and talk and open
up. As you're saying that as well, because I was kind of moving
into kind of what other tips and things we can kind of encourage old senior
what's the term we should be using seniors twilighters, all of those, you
know, what kind of things can they do? You've mentioned you've you've talked
a few about a few things in terms of some of the things that's come
out from the workshops, but in terms of other people looking after their mental
health and well being. Definitely talking making connections, Joan, you've mentioned about
exercise, you know that was part of your remit in terms of the club
as well, are there any other things that you would suggest and can encourage
our listeners to kind of, you know, help them look after and strengthen
their own mental health and well being, and also those people who are supporting
them as well to encourage them. Do you have any between the two of
you, have any sort of other tips that may have come from the workshops
or just the work that you've been doing with the project show and with the
club. I should say, yeah, well, a few things that's come
to mind, and it's about self care. And self care is important in
the sense of the majority of our race and culture, especially when we have
a family. We put ourselves out of the picture and we give our own
to our children and husbands and when and wait until when the children have grown
up, married, and then you're alone. What do you do with your
time? What do you do with yourself? That's another thing I found that
came out of the recent time workshop that we've had. You know, because
they're not on their own, and they didn't have a hobby, because church
was their hobby. So they look forward to coming to church, and because
of our religion, our practices as seven of their Adventists, people tend to
think they can't do anything outside of that, right, you know. They
can't go to parties, they can't go to clubs, which of course we
know that, but they've got to be selected. So what sort of things
is out there for me? The community have a pleaser of activities and they
call it clubs that they can join and and find to find themselves and to
find what their hobby is or what they can do to keep themselves occupied.
So it's it's all about where do they place themselves and where would they find
Where would people find that information? Like the library? The library is okay,
the library is a lot of information and their local authority so Freud and
they just need to go on their website and there are lots of farm Forum
now and there are lots of Age UK site they just need to type in.
Because most people, most people have got some form of digital phone,
yeah, or access to it, and a lot more people are encouraging their
young, their the their great grand it's not the grand children that's helping them
now, it's the great grand is in the seniors to get more familiarized with
technology. They can also help them to access that through friendship online friendship,
although they've got to be careful, so you know, we recommend people to
different sites that they can go to, even learning sewing is another area that
people have picked up a game antswer craft, you know, mm hmm.
It's the history. Knowing your history and ancestry is another area that these widely
promoted outside of the church. And as we in the church need to be
a bit more flexible by encouraging our faults as well. So we've got our
bulletin, so our church bulletin and any church bulletin, they can also put
some tips in there acknowledging the seniors so that they know that they're being thought
about. It's noted stop doing that. But as you say that, I
mean I regularly. That's one thing I do like with the mental health team.
Every week they do have their image with a different message and again you
know they want to encourage obviously the different parts to do that. But that's
a really good, a good way of doing that as well. Yeah.
So, because we've got twenty or more than twenty four departments in our churches,
all of our churches. Because if we're practicing the corporate identity of self
with the adventism, we should be following this pattern. So if we start
to work together so that we're not struggling individually as departments, we would be
more united, and we wouldn't be so thinking that it's your baby or my
baby, but it's all our baby, right, So that's it becomes more
strengthened. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the other tips that I could offer
is just say to you, if you're not working any longer, have a
routine every day. Have a routine. Again, it's basic things. Get
up, have something to get up for, so you may do your devotion,
say your prayers. And even if you don't do that each day,
I said to the group, say two or three things you're grateful for.
As you wake up in the morning, just say two or think three things
you're grateful for. Your physical health is important. Drink a lot of water.
How you start the day is going to impact the rest of your day.
So if you get up and you're grateful for something, and also you're
drinking water, there's a lot of feedback here there. You make sure that
you're drinking water. There's an akerman and I'm not going to tell you what
it means because it's homework for our listeners. Okay, new start something.
In the Adventist Church, we practice, so I'm not going to say,
but I'm just going to say to listeners to find out what you started,
and then you can message us and if you find out, let us know
what you started. What's the akerman? What does that mean? But some
of the things maybe to get up, go out, go for walks,
speak to one person every day, whether it's by phone, into or in
person. The other things you're saying, where do we where can they find
this information? Pop into your GP, Your GP surgeries will have this information
because some people will take it. Some people don't want to use the internet.
They may have phones. They don't want to say to the grand or
the great grandchildren, tell me how to do it because that might be annoying.
Just and it gets you out of the house. Walk to the GPS,
speak to receptionists, walk to the libraries, speak to a librarian,
get out of the house and ask people. So these are a few basic
tips. Conversation, what you eat, what you drink, how you start
have a routine every day and I can guarantee you that it will help you
mentally. And also, just as I'm going to add us to them,
you talked about the devotion you know, doing your devotions and what have you?
Club like this and projects like this? How does that also enable and
benefit your spiritual lives as well. Jenny talked a little bit. You know,
you pray together. You know we're trying to stay well, it's in
the church context, but how does this also enhance our spiritual life? I
mean, is this in another form of encouragement to answer that. We purposely
have a devotion every time we need, and we asked the permission of our
community attenders how they feel with their mind, and they give us their permission
and blessings. And when one week we didn't have it and they were not
pleased, they wanted to know why we weren't having it. Okay, Yes,
and that is because the person who was asked to do and come and
they didn't get to communicate that early enough, so we we had to improvise.
But it just shows you that even though they may not be part of
our church community, people still need guidance and we need to let them know
and see how the Bible relate to their lives, to their daily lives.
And that is not an animate Yes, the babis sofas animate, but the
instructions is admonition to our lives. Yeah. And the other one of the
other things that we did was. It was where we were talking about loneliness,
and I guess we're also saying to encourage a church is to be opened
more than once or twice a week. So we told them what was happening
in the church. So we open on a Tuesday, we open on a
Wednesday for prayer meeting, we open on a sabas, so that's at least
three days of a week. So we're saying, at least three days a
week you can attend our church. But we're also encouraging churches to open up
their doors more often every day, try and see if have a reason for
the church to be open, because people will attend because they are alone.
But yeah, it's really important for us to have little activities because it's not
just we're talking about elder folks now, but when we look around us and
what's been happening recently, the young people don't have anywhere to go, and
maybe if we opened up our doors a little bit more for them as well,
you know, you would see that the church will be fulled, not
just on the day to worship, but on other days. Yeah, and
again, it's about meeting the needs, and it's about meeting people's needs.
Isn't it. It's about meeting the needs, whether it's the church members or
your local community people in your local area. So as we mentioned that,
you know, how can churches set up a group like this? Now?
I know, Joe, this has been going for over twenty years and the
challenges that you may have had then may be very different now. But you
know what kind of we talk to be Leed a little bit at the beginning
of the show, but you know, how can people start this? And
I guess some of the key things just and what you've sort of said is
to you know, get people together, have a plan, and I guess
consistency, but you know, making sure it doesn't just fizzle out because sometimes
the intentions are good, but you know, you need the commitment everything else.
But you know, is there anything else that you kind of think is
going to be really key to setting up a group like this or to kind
of run projects like Dorothy has done. Well. I think the community needs
to buy into it, want it right, Yeah, So somebody in the
community, so before Joan was talking about she wanted to do it, and
there were a group of people at Balan that wanted to set up something and
Joan had the expertise and worked with them. Sister Bennett went to Joe and
said, look, this is what she thinks is missing. So people need
to want to do it. And I know that a few of the other
churches are doing like the Silver Years, Golden Years, Autumn Rose type.
Okay clubs, they are doing it and it's too Maybe initially you can talk
to chair, you can talk to you, go and visit. That's what
I would say. Visit other clubs in the community. You might not live
near Balam, but there are other clubs in the community that are like this.
Go and visit. The council have funding for projects like this, and
it's to connect with the community, your local authority, your church. Speak
to your pastor. Yeah, speak to your pastor. That's important. So
in addition to those things, the physical things that we need to think about
people. That's the resource and people of like mind or who would buy into
the idea. So you and before you set up the community, you first
of all need the people. So how many of you are there going to
be and who is interested. Once you've done that, you didn't have to
submit if you don't have your own premier, because when you don't have your
own premises, you need to hire premises outside who's going to pay for it?
So you need to think of a budget, you need to have people.
You need to think how long do you think this would take to set
up or to implement? Who are the people that we need to talk to?
Yeah, because those are the key people that you need to get on
board first of all, so that the barrier for you to be granted permission
will be minimal. Yeah. So so and is it going to be long
term or is it just short term? Who are the target people? Yeah?
The target audience, so whether it's seniors like now or Gen Z or
they're the priority at the moment. Yeah, and the different generation. So
you've got to think of people budget, how you're going to the budget is
how you're going to fund it. And usually it's good to get people who
are already experienced. So you're looking for accountants, you're looking for secretary,
you're looking for photographers. Yes, someone is going to do your own media,
your publicity. So all of those areas are the ones that you need
to take take on board. Take Oh, we're losing a slightly jone back
to secretary definitely as well. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm being deserbed.
That's okay, I'm gonna say as you're saying all of those things.
I guess this is also another way that other people can get involved as well
in terms of volunteering and helping out. There are so many skills often there
are many people with so many skills within our churches, and they're definitely something
like this is where they could actually volunteer, hopefully volunteer their time and put
those fiels to good use and obviously, you know, sharing their own knowledge
as well and in the process learn from it as well from this experience.
So yes, that's clear things. So Joan, obviously you've been you've been
running one of the leaders of the Autumn Rows for a very long time.
For you, what was your what's what was your main takeaway from this project?
How you experienced it, and you know, how has it benefited you
as well? Because sometimes when you know you have an idea of something and
then you something comes, you know, it hopefully comes to fruition. Did
it achieve what you set out to achieve? You know, how has it
impacted you? One hundred percent? Because the eight of us who initially put
it in place, I didn't know that we were still to be together all
this time. So two of the age, it is no longer with us,
as I said earlier, So that was a godsend. So that happened
because our mine were on the same path. Yeah, so that kept the
consistency right. So the Yeah, I won't name anybody because I might forget
anyway. So so that's what I got out of it. And I got
out of it for myself, which I didn't intended because I just wanted to
do things for others and myself never came into the picture. Of course,
myself have to be there because I had to do the work. Yeah,
But but to become discouraged, no, I didn't get discouraged. My strength,
my personal grew from strength to strength because also representing the church and the
club in the community. Oh, looks like we've lost confidence. To to
to represent the church was was an honor, you know, because I had
been representing the club in the community for about six years before I felt confident
to even mention about the balance church. I spoke about my Christianity, but
I never said that I was seven of the Adventists, Okay, And one
day I attended one of their committee meetings, and when I attended, everybody
stood up when I arrived and enter the room, and I was horrified.
I'm thinking, why all standing up? And I said, oh, well,
the clergy is walked in, so we've got to acknowledge the clergy.
And I'm thinking, wow, where did you get that from? It says
you are a dog, a dark horse, that says you never told us
that you're in the love for your church, and so you know that sort
of thing. And I really am the worst person to ask about myself,
you know, because I can't. I'm very, very humble and very shy,
you know, so you don't know when Dorothy asked me, I didn't
know it was going to be like I should say that I was going to
be on everybody else. And it's been fantastic having you hear sharing Jones.
So whilst you may say you're shy, I'll pretend I didn't hear that one.
So I'm shy, just like me, so shy, so shy.
But no, it sounds like, you know, it's been a positive experience
over the period of time, definitely good for your own mental well being,
you know, whether it's from the topics that you've been looking at or just
for the supportive the supportive nature and the connections that you've made and the friendships
that you've made over the years as well. You know, So what plans,
what have you got coming up? Going forward? We're coming to rapidly,
coming to the end of the show as per usual, but we can
always do a part two. There's always going to be a part two if
we've said this every time, because again, we start these conversations and we
definitely want to keep them going. So what is what's he planned for autumn
Rose? What's coming up Dorothy for autumn Rows? I can tell you for
mental health, but maybe you need to talk it's particular and obviously I'm hoping
you mentioned and the projects. We will be meeting together and deciding how to
go because it's what we did find out was, like I said earlier,
we the older people need timeline, right, so we're promising them something.
We're going to do it, how long for? So we need a period
of time where we can say, right, let to another six weeks.
So there will be that from the Mental Health and well Being department, we
will be offering another six weeks, but more imminently tomorrow at Balling Church.
If anyone's available, everybody wants to attend, we are having that. We
said this week has been mental health. We had mental Health Day and what
was it meeting Greeks situation tea and talk about Yeah tomorrow, but we're actually
going to we aren't having We're opening up for the same group to attend and
we're having like a little tea party. We're having them to come and talk
and again have a little light refreshments. We've opened it up to them.
And we also have run a food bank on tomorrow at Balam, so we're
inviting people that do attend there to come in and have a chat. Okay,
So that's what we're going to do imminently. But also we're going to
be joining I know Auto Roads will be joining up with other departments of the
church, health, community services and arranging similar type work as well, and
then the woman Ministry as well. But at the same time, this is
a thank you for their efforts and their participation for coming out. That's what's
happening tomorrow, so we all they take the opportunity to come. I know
it's on a Sunday, but at the same time we can't do everything on
Tuesday, and Tuesday is the only day that we've been given to have the
premises for our time, which is usually from eleven to three, but we've
only been finishing up up one two o'clock, so you know, we have
to be that in mind, Okay. So I just wanted to see that
we're not just there to dictate to them or to talk at them and have
them restrictive, but just for them to come and network with each other.
So for the Autumn Rose Club that runs on a Tuesday, what times if
anybody's interested in it, if they'd like to attend, So that's Tuesday,
from what time to what time? From eleven to twelve o'clock is the exercise
session, okay, and then from twelve to thirty to one thirty they workshops
which based on a flutterer of activities, but the activities are usually six weeks
at a time, but at the moment we have having three weeks health and
well being, which is the cooking part of the around they're eating eatingly is
space and if people okay, and if people wanted more information, would it
be a case of going to the Ballum Church website. Is there information on
there it is. Yeah, okay, so that's Ballum dot Adventist Church dot
org dot UK and you can find information there. So thank you both,
ladies. Like I said at the beginning, actually I didn't say the beginning.
I forgot that. I was reminded that it's also Black History Month and
we're celebrating our sisters, and we have two strong sisters here with us who've
joined us today. So I really appreciate you taking your time and sharing with
us the impact and the projects, the project you've been running and the impact
that it's been having on people's lives ultimately, and the differences that you can
make sometimes by starting small and seeing how that can grow and making those connections.
So I really appreciate you being with us. We're coming to the end
of our show. Oh two hours always go so quickly, well sometimes always
tempted should it be longer? And then we think different and think how maybe
not. It's always a part two, always for another conversation on that one.
So what we want to do We're going to pray to close and to
kind of bless the projects and the work that you guys are doing, and
then I'm going to end out with a song. I guess in o di
our senior members for Shelley Caesar so saying he'll do it again. I want
to thank you all for joining us here today. So we're going to close
and answering me to pray for us, and then we'll finish and close.
Yeah, I just wanted to share, as I are forty six four,
I found it very reassuring, even to your old age and gray here as
I am he I am, he will sustain you. I have made you,
and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue
you. Yes, that's a good I was a very reassuring. Yeah,
absolutely promise, and maybe I shall post it somewhere on my screen. But
yes, God is good and He's able to keep us right through to the
end. Let's pray devenily Father once again. We know we have tackled a
huge topic and we're very happy that we have started the conversation. Give us
the grace and the wisdom to continue it. Lord be with Joanne and Dorothy.
We've taken the time to have this conversation with us. Bless them and
the wonderful, wonderful work that they do. We also want to pray for
our elders, our seniors. We haven't quite found the word yet, but
you know who they are. We pray for them. I know, whatever
they may be struggling with, whatever they may be battling, we are sure
that you have given them the victory. Lord. We also pray that they
will get the support that they need and deserve. Lord, we pray that
we will have the patience and the kindness and the care that we need for
them as well. There's so much that we can learn at their feet.
Lord, give them the courage to speak up as well, to voice their
concerns and to seek the support that they need. Bless them, bless us
with health and strength and more abundant ears. In Jesus' name, I pray
Amen. I didn't get to share Isaiah Ebrew five and those four routine,
which is about the five sences. Oh right, okay, well, definitely
if there's any more resources, do let us know. When the shows are
podcasted, we can always add some information into the descriptions there. So yeah,
and definitely, you know this we could be talking about this. There's
so much that we could cover around this as well. You know, we
had so many questions and different things areas we could talk about, so we
could definitely have you guys back on again. Someone's going to really want to
thank you guys for your time for joining us on Talking Point. It's been
fantastic. I hope you have listeners out there and we've enjoyed the show,
and we'll join us again next week. We're continuing around black history and hopefully
we're going to do a health one actually around menopause, which again is a
timely topic became I think it's International Menopause Day and as we know, people
are getting older for women, this is an area and I know it's been
kind of quite there's been a lot of media attention around it more recently,
so again we're going to be looking at that, so do join us again.
So thank you so much. Enjoy the rest of your evening. Do
join Advantage Radio London tomorrow for more live programming. So it's good night for
me, Angela, me Zanya, Me, Dorothy, me Joan and Pedro.
Get well soon. Thank you so much for joining us. We're going
to close out with He'll do It Again by Shelley Caesar. Thank you very
much, thank you for joining us, and see you again. Bye.
You may feel down and feel like God has some help forgotten that you're first.
We'll circumstances that you can't get through right now, it seems, but
there's no way out. You're all under God, even time and time again
you'll take care of you. He'll do it again again. Just take a
little where you are and all your dad has it always gone through? Ah
are you? He's a saying now as dud has God saying you may you
may not do man, but he'll do it again on those things that you're
going through and how you are hurting. You understands just how your has been
walking into. He's a god of the sun, the storms, the sea.
It's your father. He'll calm the storm. You'll not pay and he'll
feel sad more of you. He'll do that again. Can you get set?
He just take a little when you are? You there has always come
to me. Ah you, he's a shame now as he's not said you
may not, you may not go where when he's he's still call, he
will not fear of you. He's still gone, he has not changed.
I'm changed. Still go if he's foes for you, shills like damn you,
that shows like moss like chose, like shack shot. I'm yeah,
just take way you as your old come through far you. He's the same
now as the you pay. You pay that the open. But you'll do
it. I can't. I don't sol You need him to not have friends.
You don't to know when you want to know? How gone? So
you don't. Don't. You don't know how. I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go. The old word of God said you like to hear from
it had great Jack. You don't want a dark than you. You don't
cannot, you don't canny. You may not know what you're doing. Adventist
Radio, London inspiration for the song