WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:23.800 Comedy Central Podcastja eh, well, the Islamic State. Not that I moved 2 00:00:25.679 --> 00:00:30.079 you and wanted to start relaxing the atmosphere. What I mean. I mean, 3 00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:32.240 I' m not a commercial comedian. Okay, I mean, I 4 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:35.759 like to think that my comedy is like when you see you go down the 5 00:00:35.799 --> 00:00:39.600 street, you see two dogs fucking, you know everyone looks, as well 6 00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:41.960 as with apprehension as with disgust. But there' s always someone who stands 7 00:00:41.960 --> 00:00:55.479 and does, because it' s in my audience. So if you belong 8 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:59.439 to that pick- up late, you' re gonna have a good time 9 00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:02.479 if it' s not gonna be a very long few minutes. No, 10 00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:03.799 but no, no, I don' t care not to be a San 11 00:01:03.879 --> 00:01:07.319 comedian is famous or known, because I don' t believe in the majorities, 12 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:08.799 that is, I don' t believe in democracy, that is. 13 00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:15.799 In fact, Spain has been without President for months and everything remained the same. 14 00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:19.000 You know, I think democracy in Spain is like those living guy cars. 15 00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:22.719 You know that you' re going like the flyer, you think you 16 00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:27.920 ' re driving, you know, but you know you' re going just 17 00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:37.519 like it' s really important and you' re participating in ha ha and 18 00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:38.359 it' s among the banks selling chips. Of course, if you' 19 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:41.280 re going to vote ass, of course I don' t know. I 20 00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:44.000 would like to put an end to the farce of democracies. I think I 21 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:46.079 ' d close. Congress, I' d shut it down, you know, 22 00:01:46.239 --> 00:01:48.079 I mean, I' d throw it down. Congress is over, 23 00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:52.519 I' d leave the Senate not for real. I think it' s 24 00:01:52.599 --> 00:01:55.200 super important that the Senate doesn' t, because I live next door. 25 00:01:57.239 --> 00:02:00.640 It' s not true and for a cafeteria where all senators go, you 26 00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:02.920 know and there' s a wonderful atmosphere because they' re people know they 27 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:05.079 ' re always relaxed on good terms. It' s because they don' 28 00:02:05.079 --> 00:02:07.039 t scratch them all day. They' re super- boen- humored always 29 00:02:07.039 --> 00:02:08.680 don' t. And the other day a senator came in, a guy 30 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:14.159 about sixty and asked for a colacao and friends laughed a little and the guy, 31 00:02:14.360 --> 00:02:15.800 so very jocoso, said yes, I just have very childish tastes and 32 00:02:15.919 --> 00:02:27.000 added good, except for women. That clarification was necessary. I mean, 33 00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:29.960 what kind of person you think is necessary. That' s how you say 34 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:40.159 you like kids, yeah, but not to fuck me. I like them 35 00:02:40.199 --> 00:02:45.560 as friends two. That' s why I think it' s very important 36 00:02:45.560 --> 00:02:46.000 that we keep the Senate, because we have to keep these people under control. 37 00:02:46.039 --> 00:02:50.479 No. I don' t think so. I don' t think 38 00:02:50.479 --> 00:02:53.639 so. I don' t believe in democracy, because recently I was in 39 00:02:53.639 --> 00:02:57.159 a town outside Madrid called the Corcón. I don' t know if you 40 00:02:57.360 --> 00:02:59.199 know him or I had to go there and act. No and the comics, 41 00:02:59.199 --> 00:03:00.599 when we' re going to give a site you what you do is 42 00:03:00.599 --> 00:03:04.680 you Google information about that site to get there and make a joke about that 43 00:03:04.680 --> 00:03:06.639 site, that people on that site think you give a shit about their fucking 44 00:03:06.680 --> 00:03:12.879 site We call it empathy. The thing is, they' re looking for 45 00:03:12.879 --> 00:03:14.280 it doesn' t have on the cork. Well, he found wonderful news. 46 00:03:14.360 --> 00:03:19.919 The news was the mayor of Alcorcón will dedicate a roundabout to the victims 47 00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:28.960 of the Holocaust in earnest, six million dead, a roundabout in Alcorcón. 48 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:31.479 I mean. I like to imagine. I like to imagine the mayor of 49 00:03:32.199 --> 00:03:38.400 Alcorcón on a sleepless night watching the history channel. It' s a documentary 50 00:03:38.439 --> 00:03:40.560 about the Holocaust It' s the self that' s not very interested And 51 00:03:40.599 --> 00:03:52.639 as they say at the time, Hostia is not a movie and she' 52 00:03:52.639 --> 00:03:53.039 s going around all night. It' s spinning. So in plan it 53 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:58.319 is very affected to say expensive how I could, from the mayor of the 54 00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:02.080 corcon, with the OAS so that this tragedy never be repeated, what construction 55 00:04:02.120 --> 00:04:11.000 would be appropriate for a catastrophe of this magnitude. And he' s all 56 00:04:11.039 --> 00:04:13.520 night thinking about giving him back and he comes in the morning and he gets 57 00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:15.040 up to his wife and it starts to be breakfast and his kids start and 58 00:04:15.040 --> 00:04:17.040 a little boy starts playing with his trifci that starts puerta around, like the 59 00:04:17.079 --> 00:04:18.639 tricycle and uncle sardes pro you want to get out of the way. Around 60 00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:29.800 me I' m not a bloody red and I like to imagine I also 61 00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:32.639 like to imagine. I also make a Jewish elder named Abraham, who has 62 00:04:32.639 --> 00:04:35.120 been in the camps of OSVI hopes to survive, has lost me, his 63 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:38.759 parents, his little brothers, his first girlfriend, but has survived that hell. 64 00:04:40.040 --> 00:04:43.120 He has managed to remake his life in another country and dedicates the last 65 00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:48.839 years of life to travel the world and a parable of destiny takes him to 66 00:04:48.839 --> 00:04:53.920 the cork and finds the roundabout and a tear that is on his cheek and 67 00:04:54.000 --> 00:05:03.399 says in the end it was worth it. No. No. No. 68 00:05:03.240 --> 00:05:06.079 No. I think. I don' t believe in democracy, basically because 69 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:09.279 I' m Galician and we haven' t done very well with that. 70 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:14.199 You know, when you guys juggled. We looked at it and said still 71 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:18.199 thrown away another twenty years, I mean, that' s our level. 72 00:05:18.199 --> 00:05:21.360 That' s not where we' re strong. There' s no politician 73 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:24.759 Aña. There' s a politician there named José Luis Baltar. I don 74 00:05:24.759 --> 00:05:27.399 ' t know if it sounds to you he was the president of Ourense' 75 00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:30.360 s deputy. The edifice of Ourense was like the totem of plugging. They 76 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:33.600 didn' t bring out family members, brother- in- laws, militant 77 00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:36.480 cousins. You know, so you know an idea. Thirty- three porters 78 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:43.399 were hired, and they have two doors. Okay is him, because this 79 00:05:43.480 --> 00:05:47.560 man, this man, had a political adversary in the position that he was 80 00:05:47.639 --> 00:05:51.360 all day talking about his chanchullos of plugging. No and Joseis Valtar you a 81 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:57.040 wonderful answer and some rally answered him. He told her. This man talks 82 00:05:57.079 --> 00:06:00.920 a lot about me. He seems to have an obsession with me. If 83 00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:02.879 I were the woman, I' d understand, but since I' m 84 00:06:02.920 --> 00:06:06.519 a man, I must be a faggot. Not that' s a wonderful 85 00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:09.639 answer. I mean, maybe it' s just that they kept winning the 86 00:06:09.639 --> 00:06:12.560 selection. It' s like the people of urense saw this fight the dialectic 87 00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:23.279 and said there he caught him. But no one, let no one stay 88 00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:25.120 in a bad body. This man is no longer in office, he is 89 00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:27.639 no longer in the post of president of the council. Actually, there' 90 00:06:27.639 --> 00:06:31.759 s your son now. And the son recently had quite a scandal because a 91 00:06:31.879 --> 00:06:36.600 woman accused him of having offered him a position in the council. She has 92 00:06:36.600 --> 00:06:43.319 changed sex and the woman provided recordings with the President. No, but of 93 00:06:43.319 --> 00:06:45.920 course, the guy' s still there. You know nothing happened. They 94 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:46.920 left him there at the post. It' s not like Orense' s 95 00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:50.600 village. He saw the accusations, saw the evidence and said at least he 96 00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:56.439 ' s not a fag. It' s a sick criterion, but at 97 00:06:56.439 --> 00:06:59.399 least it' s a criterion. That' s what you can say. 98 00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:00.480 No. I don' t think, not that in democracy, in fact 99 00:07:00.519 --> 00:07:01.920 I won' t even vote. It' s very badly seen I don 100 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:04.839 ' t vote I mean I don' t vote when you address my only 101 00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:09.800 wish I say to see Rachón, he takes a hell and sometimes life gives 102 00:07:09.800 --> 00:07:18.920 you those gifts. No, but I' ll take care of it when 103 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:20.279 it was you missed me. I think we' re all serious now, 104 00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:23.360 we' re a little bit the same. You don' t read no 105 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:25.519 on Twitter, on Facebook, and a rajoy host has been hit by a 106 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:28.800 rahoit host and you laugh no, but watch out later we see the images. 107 00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:30.439 If I think we all did the same thing, it' s the 108 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:31.360 images. You know, you' ve got the body left, you' 109 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:34.319 ve got the chungo body not left. You stay dead, man, I 110 00:07:34.399 --> 00:07:36.319 had time to give you two. No, what the fuck happened here, 111 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:44.759 what a fucking youth we have that even psychopaths don' t come out lazy. 112 00:07:47.720 --> 00:07:50.000 It is clear to me now that democracy is not an expensive function. 113 00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:51.959 I mean, that doesn' t work. It' s obvious. No. 114 00:07:53.079 --> 00:07:55.439 I think the best test we have on Facebook, that is, Facebook 115 00:07:55.480 --> 00:07:58.360 is the best invention of humanity. I love Facebook, no, I mean 116 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:01.680 young people that I haven' t met another world without Facebook, you have 117 00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:05.560 to freak out when you tell them that before to know that someone you dislike 118 00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:09.360 you you have to spend time with him. Now you don' t just 119 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:15.720 have to open the moro says oh me, they' re assholes, but 120 00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:16.519 the cool thing about Facebook, the wey of Facebook is that you can delete 121 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:20.839 them. And that frees you from a sense of power. You get rid 122 00:08:22.199 --> 00:08:24.360 of it, I mean, I don' t eliminate you, that' 123 00:08:24.360 --> 00:08:26.160 s how it works. First, you start by eliminating assholes who put sexist 124 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:28.680 or racist things, not those. Out or those assholes. Then, if 125 00:08:28.759 --> 00:08:31.840 you press him all day talking about politics, you know about another political party 126 00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:35.519 and such were not later the assholes are all already with football outside the flus. 127 00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:37.919 Then the flus listen to shitty music. That out there, too, 128 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:41.799 then there' s the guys in every morning and they put an optimistic phrase. 129 00:08:41.799 --> 00:08:45.440 You take them out again and you take them out again because they' 130 00:08:45.480 --> 00:08:56.240 re doubly assholes. And in the end, in the end, you stay 131 00:08:56.279 --> 00:09:00.159 with a select group of people who think like you, who have your sensitivity, 132 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:03.240 who are exactly the same as you, you have your own tastes and 133 00:09:03.320 --> 00:09:07.360 you can sit down and go with their thoughts and you realize they' re 134 00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:09.559 fucking assholes, too. And then you get an instagram that no longer fails, 135 00:09:09.799 --> 00:09:11.720 because there is already. You know they' re all assholes in advance. 136 00:09:11.799 --> 00:09:16.080 You know that' s the Facebook cycle. But while one of the 137 00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:18.200 Facebook cycle is wonderful, because it is very relaxing. I think that if 138 00:09:18.279 --> 00:09:22.519 Hitler had Facebook, he would have relaxed a lot. So you know, 139 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:24.879 imagine it as a Jew or eliminate Jew or jutuous, limina arévalo I like. 140 00:09:26.279 --> 00:09:37.240 You know it' s very p- to- top If Hiller had 141 00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:43.039 Facebook maybe, now I opened a less roundabout in cork. No. I 142 00:09:43.159 --> 00:09:43.720 don' t think, I don' t think democracy will ever work. 143 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:46.279 I think the only person who could fix Spain, the only person who could 144 00:09:46.360 --> 00:09:54.759 fix the situation in Spain is Juan Carlos Monedero. Stay with me fine but 145 00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:56.360 little confidence. But this makes a good sense. I don' t know 146 00:09:56.360 --> 00:10:01.879 if you know. A while ago Juan Carlos Monedero became a colleague of Carmen 147 00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:05.720 Lomana. You know what it is that Carmelomana, the woman is sub megapija, 148 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:09.080 not as if they have supercolleagues and had spread the rumor in Madrid that 149 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:11.519 they had had a mess, not you that they had fucked. I think 150 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:13.679 it' s a lie. I think it' s impossible. No, 151 00:10:15.039 --> 00:10:18.399 but I wish with all my soul that it is true, that is, 152 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:20.799 I pray every night because it is true, because they have fucked you, 153 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:22.639 I swear, because they represent in both Spains. Then Spain knows face to 154 00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:26.480 face. On the one hand, you have the Marxist university intellectual in Hellinist, 155 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:31.240 not then you have the Catholic and Millionaire right- wing Mrs Sabes. 156 00:10:31.320 --> 00:10:33.759 It' s not the two of them. Don' t watch them join 157 00:10:33.759 --> 00:10:37.679 you. You know, I wish they' d fucked and if they didn 158 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:50.000 ' t fuck, we should force them to fuck you and have a son 159 00:10:50.120 --> 00:10:56.720 and the son make him emperor ja and take it another way from the Royal 160 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:00.200 Palace, present it as the Leogo king like this Spanish eye, has all 161 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:01.559 taken the first king half fat half red. Now everybody' s gonna be 162 00:11:01.559 --> 00:11:16.440 chojo. I' d made it possible I don' t know. This 163 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:20.080 has been a bit. What I think. I' ve started dici te. 164 00:11:20.120 --> 00:11:22.759 I started by saying I didn' t want to be a famous comedian 165 00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:24.399 or popular. But I have to say that this is a bit of a 166 00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:26.600 lie, because I, when I started this, I mean, all the 167 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:28.759 comics, we started because you see someone who inspires you. Not the comics 168 00:11:28.799 --> 00:11:31.759 that inspired me. The first ones who made me dedicate a show were the 169 00:11:31.799 --> 00:11:35.320 most commercial thing in their time, which were the hordes of the terio, 170 00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:37.559 you remember the clowns of the TV and then, tonight, as you have, 171 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:41.120 was very nice public. I' d like to say goodbye with a 172 00:11:41.159 --> 00:11:43.799 poem I' ve written for you. It' s a little bit, 173 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:48.840 a little silly, not a little nobody, but I' d like you 174 00:11:48.840 --> 00:11:50.799 to hear it in good. At one point I' m going to ask 175 00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:54.039 you to collaborate You know, I don' t know if you remember when 176 00:11:54.080 --> 00:12:01.360 they said how you are, that you have to say very well which Democrats 177 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:07.159 already are. I was about five years old when I saw you on TV, 178 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:11.759 dear clown friends, I mean, how are you? At five o 179 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:16.080 ' clock in the afternoon, before my homework, I sat in the living 180 00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:20.480 room hearing how you are. That summer, the circus came all the way 181 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:24.159 to my town I had to see you. I couldn' t let him 182 00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:28.840 get away you were kind and affectionate, I' ll never forget my ricky 183 00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:37.559 Gaby fofito miliquito, you were a bit of a pilipis, you rape me 184 00:12:37.559 --> 00:12:50.799 you are or alcohola ball coves. I was about five years old when I 185 00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:56.120 saw you on TV, dear clown friends, say how are you? Wow, 186 00:12:56.919 --> 00:13:01.919 I' m calling what pain are we going now our Yasa Tala Tala? 187 00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:09.360 My childhood Bagalete, how much blood, what a mother, what a 188 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:13.399 time we put in with tostosis, put in is an abuse, I pregnant 189 00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:18.240 screams of death. Hello, hello, well, how are you? Thank 190 00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:20.799 you so much for getting a visa with you.