Made destangeon O Pace Sunny Sun on I hadasion nat Hey, everybody, what's
up? What's up? I'm your host, Lynnette Corolla. I'm Stephanie Wilder
Taylor. Welcome to for crying Out another another episode. Yep, let's say
on to our freaking stupid people. Oh boy, not Anna Ferris, by
the way, I just watched a lost in translation again for still holds up.
In fact, I might have liked it better, but Anna Ferris is
in that movie. I thought of our friend Anne Farrish. You've never seen
Transition? Seen it? I gotta watch it? So good? Yeah,
I think you'd really like it, Ashley, so she can share Bear and
do you want to hurshy bar and Kelly Lady dah and am he's at Katie.
Katie's rolling on. She's rolling on that e Aaron. Who does Nikki
call your girls? Leslie? Which one is it? I know? Is
the one that's coughing all day long? Or is it the one who's accosting
people? Both of you guys should be arrested. Jacob is very growley but
adorable. Rita rocks everybody's kids, all the fcol listeners kids in her basket
head yep. Elizabeth, including Elizabeth Williamson's and Athena ginshured. We love your
dancing and your lipstick. You wear some badass red lipstick. Eh, Polly,
we love your pancake and your SISO. I can use some pancakes.
Valerie Bubba Fenwick gets out of the park. And Katerina that's still with the
bowler. I know it's gonna fall out of her head. I know.
Gabby and Missy they're rolling on eye with Katie yep Ishan Voshpeg Rebecca Kelly Brandt
is not your aunt, but she has a mento's for you. Yes,
Alicia Leslie, Oh, we already did her. Sarah's the final Aaron during
Sanchez, Oh, Jennifer, get up, Sandra, it's not easy being
green. Christa. You make me want to SHOOTE think's going on? Uh?
I'm just getting a talking about rolling on E. Yeah, talking about
rolling on E. I okay. I feel that you will be proud of
me for this. I haven't. I haven't. It's not really an announcement.
But so Sadie, as you know, has her driving permit. Yeah.
I think that because of my memory issues, I think I've rewritten history
a little bit, and I like to think of myself as having driven with
LB all the time when she was learning to drive. But then it occurred
to me that I complained about it all the time on this show, right
because I constantly thought she was going to shave off of somebody's here in a
park mirror. I had a lot of anxieties. But somehow, and maybe,
like I said, maybe I've rewritten history. And you guys, you
and Kaitlin correct me if I'm wrong, But I did drive. I feel
like I drove with her quite a bit. Though you did well with who
with LB? Yes, And to be fair to you, you have anxiety
when you're driving with John, Yes, I do. You're driving with anybody.
I do, Okay, so I but I feel like I took LB
a lot at the beginning, and then I do think at some point I
was like, okay, I'm out, like this is hard for me,
and and John was like, it's not hard for me, and I was
like, then you do it right. And he's the he took LB on
the freeway for the first time, you know, and then he would drive
with her for long periods, like up the freeway and you know, I
will grant him that John has told me that he drove with LB like ninety
percent of the time, and I'm like, well, I have a lot
of memories of driving with her, a lot at the beginning when she was
first had her permit, because I remember a time early on where we were
driving and she, okay, you know the valley we're driving and we end
up at Resita and it's not a protected like there's no light, and Elbie
was like, oh, hell no, I can't. I don't. Like
she didn't want to make a right turn into traffic and she certainly wasn't going
to make a left turn, and she didn't feel like she could turn around,
so we had to. I remember her kind of freaking out and having
to switch sides with her and being like, don't worry, I got you.
And then, you know, I remember a lot of specific instances.
Okay, so going into Sadie, Now, Elb is a great driver.
Still won't drive with her, but she's I'm sure I've heard I've heard from
her, right. So anyway, with Sadie, the anxiety kicked in,
Like from the first time driving with her, I was like, oh god,
like, and I feel so out of control when she's in the driver's
seat because like, and I always think like the driver's ed people they have
a battle on their side, which god, I wish I had a break
pedal, I know, like that'd be amazing. You can't, and I
have to fight myself sometimes from reaching over and like helping, like going I
think you're okay, I know, but I don't do that right because anybody's
like, well, there's the thing to do that. I mean, more
nerve racking than driving with your team. But you did it and seem to
do fine. You let me drive all the time. Yeah, but it
well, she started it more with her dad and he was taken around.
So by the time I got with her, it was she was a little
more comfortable. Sunny is a little too cautious, so you know, I
it still was nerve racking because I'm like, you're going a little too swell.
These people are like piling up behind us, Like it's just nerve wracking,
right, Yeah. I I didn't. I didn't like it at all.
I hated it. So I have to force myself to do it.
M But the problem is that John doesn't it doesn't have as much anxiety about
it. But he's such a procrastinator that she'll say like, hey, can
I go driving? And He'll be like absolutely, like can you wait a
little while? And then a little while goes by. He's like this with
a lot of things, you know, going to the gym, right Like
when I decide it's time to go to the gym, I'm going to the
gym. Like I'm like, I'm ready to go to the gym. I've
I've just got the thought in my head, I've got a free hour,
like I'm going by. You know, if you leave it to John,
he'll be like, you know what if you wait, like I'll go to
the gym with you, And I'm like, no, you won't. If
I wait, then the next thing, then you'll be like, oh,
now we're getting into the busy time at the gym. You know what we
should do. We should go after dinner. And I'm like, no,
I ain't nobody going to the gym after dinner, right, are you high?
Like yeah, but that's not happening. Yeah, And John forgets any
kind of history, like he like, I will have to say to him,
John, you almost never in his mind. He'll be like I go
to the gym like twice a week. I'm like, you go to the
gym once a month if that. But you know, it's like a thing
where I think he really believes his own hype. Like he's like, no,
I'm like going to the gym, Like look at me going. I'm
like, you went once, and then you you do a lot of talking
about going to the gym. So anyway, Sadie was like not driving and
not driving and not driving because she would ask John and he'd be like,
I'm absolutely gonna take you. And then then he'd be like, you know
what, you know we should do tomorrow morning? I should take you.
Yeah, we're getting into traffic or they're starting to be a glare, you
know, so let's go. Let's make a plan to go tomorrow morning.
And she'd be like uh huh. And then the next day would come and
I'd be like, hey, I thought you were driving with d And she's
like, I thought so too, But you know, and she doesn't those
two are really close, so she doesn't want to throw him under the bus.
I will. I'll be like, what the hell, John, I
thought you were driving with Sata. To day He's like I am, We're
just waiting a few hours. And then I glare, glare, yeah,
and then it's like, oh, we don't want I don't want to drive
with her in the dark, So I wait till first thing tomorrow morning.
I'm like, oh my god. So meanwhile, Sadie goes on a has
an official lesson, and her last one her last official lesson, So they
have three. They have to at a minimum have three two hour lessons,
right, but the two hour lessons are two hundred bucks a pot us.
So like, you don't want to farm it out completely to them give your
kid all their training hours because you will go broke that way. So you
have to beef it up with your own hours. And they will tell you
when they bring your kid home, here's their strengths and here's their weaknesses.
And oh my god, I forgot I actually this is kind of funny.
I forgot to tell you this. So basically, almost every driving lesson she's
had, the instructor has been like, she needs like practice. You should
be taking her out like every day for like like twenty minutes so that she
can really get comfortable, you know, because yeah, duh, you don't
want to go a month between she hasn't been out on the road. Then
suddenly she's having a lesson. These poor instructors are like, you know,
you know, she's actually exactly and I'm here, I'm like, better you
than me. You got the brake pedal, You got the brake pedals,
you do it. Yeah, But the last lesson she went on hot on.
The instructor comes back and she's got a smile on her face and she's
like, yeah, Sadie did fine. She did, She did fine.
There were a couple of moments. Uh, she took a corner where her
right hand cornering hit the curb a little bit. She needs to be you
know, careful there, and like basically she needs practice. She just she
just needs to practice. But like, I think she's got good spatial awareness,
like she said a lot of nice things. She leaves, Sadie starts
crying. I'm like, oh no, what happened? And she's like apparently,
And I do not underst stand the whole extent of this, but she
says that she was trying to avoid a parked car and she went too far
to the left probably and hit a car's mirror. Oh driving, but the
but these I've done there plenty of times. Really, But like a car
that was moving my younger days. Oh, the car was moving, The
car was moving. The other car that she hit, yes, yes,
So I don't really understand. I really don't understand the situation because I'm like,
if you got into a move, if you got into an accident.
She's like, she goes, well, the other car didn't stop and but
it but it pulled our mirror back. She so, I was like,
so did you hit it really really slightly, because if you made contact with
another moving car, I would imagine that's an accident. So I don't understand
the full story. All I know is that she had to pull over.
The instructor had her pull over stop and looked at the mirror and determined there
was no damage, like it was just but it freaked completely freak drivers.
But I will tell you this, kudos to the instructor because that did not
end the lesson. The instructor was like, oh, we are going to
keep going, and they went on the freeway, so she obviously had confidence
on their third lesson, they go on the freeway, right, So so,
but Sadie was still shaken up, and I was like, well,
the answer to that is that we start practicing like a lot. I was
like, you can't let that. Yeah, you gotta because you're going to
be you need a lot of reps. So they made a commitment that we
she was going to drive like every day. So of course I was like,
John, you gotta drive with every I was like, if it truly
doesn't make you anxious, because I do want to ship my pants every time
I'm driving with her. I am if the driving instructor has to have shit
running down her like once, that's me every time. Like I can't take
that many showers, you know, every day I got a shower. So
but here's where you're gonna be proud of me. Yeah, I drove with
her the other day. I was like, you know what, I cannot
let this kind of anxiety rule my life. And poor kid, like she
needs to drive, and she is a decent driver. She's not a bad
driver. She just literally needs practice and she's if anything, she's probably more
like Sunny. She's very careful, careful. So the other day I took
her out and I drove with her for an hour and it felt like going
to the gym, you know, Like I was like, we're going to
drive for an hour. I want you to get practice. Then I was
like looking at the clock, I'm like, oh, God, has it
been. And then just when I would think like can we turn around and
go, I'd be like no, no, no, keep going going,
You're going to go this way. We practice that backing up that they have
to do where they're not allowed to look at the mirror at the camera.
They have to like turn their head, you know how they have to do
the backing up parallel to the curve and they can't hit the curb or it's
an automatic fail. We did that a bunch of times. She did not
hit the curb. She's like good at it. But where I just get
so stressed out is like, first of all, the car that we're driving,
our pres and we're buying the car, like so it's still a lease
at this point, but it's out of the it's just left the lease window
and we're going to just buy it out right, but we haven't quite done
it yet, but like that's our car. Yeah, so if we get
into an accident, like we pay the deductible and it goes then it goes
on your insurance. Like it's not it's not nothing. If you get into
an accident right now, I know, it goes on your driving record and
then you have to put it at the body shop for six weeks, you
know. I mean because when Elbe got in her little she I don't know
if you remember this. It was a couple of years ago. She hit
somebody going onto an entrance ramp on the front light and she claims that the
car stopped short in front of her. You know, I don't know.
She was a very new driver. But that ended up and then the guy
was like, we're not going to go through insurance. But then he did
call his insurance company and then it was like a whole thing it for We
had to replace the hood of the car. I mean, it was in
the shop for a long time ever. We had rental cars, and it's
like it all goes through my head when I'm like one false move with a
new driver, right, and like you're you're so it's like I tried it.
I try to just like but to meditate, you know, I try
to just go like okay, like everybody has to learn how to drive,
like she has a permit, and then I want to get one of those
big student driver in a car you're not in an order, one of those
I just passed it. I land on a long walk last night and I
saw it. I was just like, that's a nice car for a student
driver. I was like, I don't know, some jeep Cherokee thing,
but yeah, yeah, it's a it's a magnet like a bumper stick,
but you just put a magnet on there. I do just want people to
understand because she got honked at for stuff that was not her fault. And
this is the thing. When you're with your kid and they are trying to
make an unprotected the thing they have to practice the most. There's two things
in my experience kids that it takes a while to get. Is the unprotected
left turn. Yes, so you're waiting for the light to turn yellow.
I'm like, okay, Sadie, when the when you're trying to make a
left turn and you're waiting for the light to turn yellow, what is the
most important thing? And she's like, have your blinker on. I'm like,
that's important, not the most important, more important than that, and
she's like, uh uh, I don't know. I'm like, okay,
it's that when the light turns yellow, you can't just go. You got
to make sure the cars that are coming are stopping, and that they're not
going to try to gun it and speed up and go through the yellow light
right because guess who got into a bad accident that way. Me. Yeah,
when I was sixteen, I totaled a car going through it taking my
left on yellow right. Because the cars are going to I think cars are
going to stop. You gotta wait, I said, even if you have
to wait, if you're not sure what they're doing, wait till the light
turns red. I don't care if cars honk at you. Obviously you don't
want to hesitate so long that the light's been red now and cars are starting
to go the other direction, of course not, but like, yeah,
if it's a long yellow light and and cars are coming and you don't know
what they're gonna do, please wait. Yes, So that's I needed that.
If you were in the left turn and we were talking, but he
was like he was a little nervous that we were waiting for the light to
turn yellow because there was a loud traffic. And then the light turned red
and he's still sat for a beat. I go like, go the lights
red, now we're fuck And he's like, oh shit, Like you've got
to pay attention to the light too. You can't just sit there. It's
all like a fast thing though, And like we don't realize when you've been
driving for a while, it's it's almost in your body right, You're you
know what to do and you feel it's all like a feeling it. And
I tried to have empathy for being brand new and every and also hot on.
Sadie takes a little bit longer, like I do think alb he's got
anxiety. Sadie's got a little bit of like things take her a little longer
to process. Xander is going to be the best driver. He's just he's
got none of that. He doesn't have the anxiety, and he doesn't he's
going to make decisions better. He's the one who's the most scared to drive.
He still doesn't have his permit. Oh he'll be fine. Sadie's braver
than Xander. Okay, but takes a little bit longer to make decisions.
So with Sadie, I have to be like, Okay, you just got
to make you gotta do this. You got to gauge this. You watch
the cars. If there aren't a lot of cars, if there's like one
car coming and you really see them slowing down when the light turns yellow.
Then pretty much before the light turns rid, you can make that turn if
you have any question in your mind. Wait Also, you never know,
like sometimes cars look like they're going to stop, but then they change their
mind and they then they try and go. I know, it's scary.
I hate it when when the light turns yellow and just cars keep coming and
coming. In Now, I'm like, if that's the case, let them
be assholes, let them run the and you just wait and if carshunked behind
you, fuck up, I'm like, better safe than sorry, Like you
know. So a couple of times a car honked behind her and I was
like, that's okay, it's not you, that's on them, Like you
just have to be like it's fine, that's fine, that's fine, tune
it out. But anyway, I drove with her for and hour through those
situations. That's great. Practically had like fourteen heart attacks, but I was
like, I did it, and then I felt like I felt so proud
of myself. Right, she felt proud of herself. I felt more proud
of myself. I was like, I was like, we have for an
hour than the next day John's like, hold my beer, took her out
for an hour and a half. So, hey, she had a lot
of driving part did Yeah? Did she go on the freeway? She's on
the freeway with John, Okay, not with me? Okay, No,
I'm not that brave, right right, Like I have the thing. Yeah,
she needs as much practice as she can get because then she'll start to
get comfored is she feeling more comfortable? I think that that's what it is.
It's like I told her the same thing. I said, it's reps,
Like I go, the more you try to make left turns, the
better you're going to be at it. Yeah. And also, like another
thing that we forget that kids have to learn how to do is park the
car. Yes, Like you can't be out driving not feel secure about parking.
So like I made her park a bunch of times at the street.
Yeah I did that. Like parking in parking spaces, like in a parking
lot. Trader Joe's parking lots are always the worst, and you should take
them there. You have to have your license for like two years right before
you park down the street. Yeah, you're braver than I am. If
you're if you're practicing at Trader Joe's because it's up the street. I know
that's gonna go there, and you know, and the spots are little and
she got you. People are assholes and it's hard for me. I hate
it, like you just maneuvering in and out and it's like, oh,
here you come in my way. Like I had it free and clear until
now you showed up right behind me. What do you want me to do
with you now? Like? Now move? You know it's it's it's a
dance and it's it can be stressful. So I always tell Sadie two,
you know what, actually, let's take a quick break. Oh let's talk
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Honeylove because you deserve it. That's right, Okay, So I forgot what
I was gonna say about It was like I was gonna wrap it up with
Sadie. I'm telling you, So she's is she feeling a little she's feeling
a little better. When does she go to get her tests? Well,
so she was. She was just asking. She was like, I want
to schedule my test, and I said, I think you need. They're
supposed to have at least thirty hours of driving time with their parent. With
the parents, right, I think she needs. Listen, driving instructor who
brought her home the other day where she was like, she did something.
I think when she hit the corner. She was like, she did more
than one thing that was an automatic fail on the test. So she needs
more practice. But I'm like, listen, you just practice, practice,
practice. It doesn't met like I don't. I said, I'm gonna be
honest, I don't feel comfortable with you driving by yourself yet, license or
no license, right, So like, let's just practice at least for another
couple of weeks, going every day, and then we'll schedule the test.
That you don't have to schedule it six months in advance, you can schedule
it a week in it. Yeah, that's true. And you know that
there's the DMVs. There's certain DMVs that that are like better than others.
Right, we want to go to Wanca, you want to go to Aneka?
Our leader, I'll be passed it Van Eyes, So did Sunny.
Okay, I went to Van Eyes, but they say Waneca is like the
best one. Okay, yeah, yeah yeah, but it is what it
is, you know, And that's just the practice. Now. I drive
with Italian. I've been going places together and I let her drive because she
likes to drive. And I'm like, she's like, mom, I feel
so comfortable driving like it's nothing because I'm like, you're gonna drive where that's
far and she's like, mom, like I'm fine. So we've been driving
like just around town, you know, and she's like I feel totally comfortable
with her. Like she's fine. She doesn't scare me. Sunny is I
try. I drive with him too. He's a little more cautious, but
that's fine with me. You know. There's a Natalia could be a little
heavy on the pedal and I'm like, you realize you're going like you're going
ten miles over the steep. She's like oh, She's like I can't eat.
I don't even really. I'm like, I know that's like your mom.
I've gotten a lot of speeding tickets where you don't realize how fast you're
going, but you gotta. Like so now that I'm with her, I
have to call it out to her, like you're going away above the speedler
and she's like oops, Like she doesn't even I realize it because she's just
in the zone, you know, and just on the freeway going It's like
it's easy to do. So it takes practice too on city streets to mind
your speed because you know you will fail the driving test. Like so,
if the speed limits thirty five, yes you can't go below thirty, but
you can't go above the speed limit right, right, like if you're going
because Sadie was going forty at one point and I was like, well,
you're going to fail. Yeah, you have to stay at the speed limit
or it's a speed limit, right if you're on a driving test, I
don't think you can exceed the speed limit. But you also can't go way
below this. You can't go like more than five miles below it either.
I'm sure if you go a mile ahead, it's they're not gonna Yeah,
I'm sure if you go thirty six or even thirty seven, you're not gonna
get and then you slow back down. You're not gonna fail, but you
definitely can't be driving at like twenty eight right right, Yeah, yeah,
glad those days are over. I feel bad for you. And then you
had Xander too, Like Xander, I have a feeling I'm going to feel
more comfortable with that. But like, yeah, who told me to have
three kids? Like you got to do it three times over? Yeah?
And also like I remember when, uh so, when I found out I
was pregnant with twins, I had this thing in my head where, first
of all, I did not think I should have three kids. I definitely
was like, oh, this is not for me. You know you I
told you that. I was very honest, Yeah, I told I was
really scared. I told John. I thought briefly about like, you know,
oh, something happens to one of like if it gets absorbed, like
it won't be the worst thing that happened, you know. And uh and
I even had like I'm just gonna be I'm gonna be totally honest. I
had a moment where I was like maybe we could like really early in the
pregnancy, because I found out very early. I was like maybe we could
like reduce. Well, this happened at the genetic testing. I was freaking
out. Yeah, I think I told you this story. This is does
not make me look good. No, we talked about this because I had
I had triplets too, right, which is different, right, I only
had the I only knew I had twins until I had the CVS test.
Then they told me I'd been pregnant with triplets, but one of them had
already were pregnant with triplets. So so I know I've told this story probably
many times. But I found out I was pregnant. I knew I felt
like off right, and we had tried. So I took a pregnancy test
and it was I was pregnant. Then I went to the doctor and he
was like, I don't it's uh, they couldn't find a sack. And
then he did a blood test. Then my numbers like tripled went high.
And then he this doctor was like, yeah, could be a topic pregnancy.
Oh, he told me it was. He didn't think it was viable.
He was like, I gave it like a fifty percent chance. And
I was really pissed because you know, I don't know if I don't know
if you were like this, but I knew I was pregnant, like I
felt all the crazy hormonal like it's like a it's like feeling. Yeah,
it just felt like I was on something. I felt paranoid and crazy,
and I was like, no, this is this is pregnancy. Anyway,
I end up going to the doctor at seven weeks, got a different gynecologist
because I didn't like that doctor. And then she was like, oh,
yeah, yeah, you're fine. Here's the sack you have. You're pregnant.
There's the heartbeat. I saw the heartbeat at seven weeks. A week
later, I had like a massive bleed and I was like, oh my
god, I miss I miscarried. Called the called like Paige the doctor.
It was a Memorial Day. Yeah, it was a Memorial Day weekend.
It's like on Monday. And so I paged the doctor and they're like,
well you need to if you're still bleeding, you need to go to the
er. Went to the er, even though I was like, this is
a foregone conclusion. I definitely lost the baby. Then on call ultrasound person
comes in, does an ultrasound and the guy's like, oh no, there's
the heartbeat. Your baby's fine, and your other baby's fine too. That's
how I found out I was having twins. So now I'm freaking out.
Wow, so stressed out, and both of them seem to be doing fine,
you know. So then I decided I was going to get a CVS
test early on because I was like, I already have a kid. I
want to know what's going on with this pregnancy early. I don't want to
wait till like twenty weeks and have an ultrasound and find out something's really wrong.
So go have the CVS test. They do the genetic counseling first,
to go sit in a room and they tell you all the things that could
be wrong, and I'm like upset, not at that, the same but
not at that. But I'm not upset at that. And they're like,
oh, yeah, this can be really like hard for people to hear.
I was like, it's not that. She was like, oh, well,
what's wrong? And I was like, I just don't want to have
twins. I'm really scared. I can't afford it, Like this is too
much. You know, we only live in a three bedroom house. And
she's like well, she's like, well, you know there's options, like
you don't have to have twins. And then she gives me a card for
like selective reduction, right, so I keep that in my brain. But
then I go and have the CVS test and then they tell me while I'm
on the table, they're like, oh, there's another sack here, but
it's empty. No. Yeah, and they said, did you have like
an issue recently? And I was like, yeah, like a couple of
weeks ago, I had a bleed. And they're like, yeah, you
miscarried a triplet. You were pregnant with triplets. Wow, one of them.
I did know this, but I forgot one of them would have been
I think an identical. But now I can't remember which one right, right,
I'm thinking, don't I don't know which one. But anyway, so
that was like crazy. So then I was like, oh my god,
like the news keeps getting worse, Like I was almost going to have triplets
right anyway. Then I brought it up to John that like that they had
given me this card, and he was like, oh, hell no,
we're not doing that, and I was like okay, and then I adjusted
yes to the idea. See, I was the other way around because we
did IVF right, and I knew he was putting the three embryos in and
then but then he was telling me, like, your chances of this is,
you know, less than forty percent, and the embryo B is less
than twenty percent. So you put all three in. And then they called
two weeks later and they go, congratulations, you're very pregnant, she said,
and I go, what does that mean? She goes, it means
there's more than one? And I was like, oh my, more than
how many? More? So then they did and there was always those two
strong heart beats right, and then that other heartbeat was just kind of off
to the side. And the doctor was like, yeah, you could do
selective whatever reduction. But he's like, I get he goes, I've seen
this a lot. He goes, I bet like by twelve weeks, that's
going to be gone. And then it was gone. It was that third
absorbed. Yeah. I never bled or anything. It was just gone.
Yeah, that's so interesting. Never happened, no bleeding or anything. You
didn't feel sad. But then no, after that, I was like,
oh, twins, no problem, because for a long time, like triplets,
what right right now? I was like freaking out and Wendy's like,
oh, you can do. It's no problem. I'm about I'm like,
bitch, please like no, you know anyway, but I convinced myself that
I was like, Okay, so we're having three, but how much worse
is three kids than two? Really? If you think about it, I'm
like, you know, it's like at the beginning, yeah, double the
diapers and double that. But then it gets easier because I wasn't thinking I
had to freaking call it. You know, if I thought I head to
college, I would have had a lot more anxiety about it. I mean
I did have an anxiety. Of course I had anxiety. It's me,
But I mean the twins part, I was like, I just got to
get through this first like couple of years. That's what I kept thinking.
I on the prize and you know, I cried all the time in our
podcast and was like, is this going to get any easier? It's terrible
when they were Look, I'm sorry all the moms out there. I want
to be like more hopeful for you. If you're pregnant with twins, the
first couple of years are a bit yes, Then what happens is once they're
at an age where you can actually like go to a restaurant and you're not
just constantly running around, right. It's and they start developing their own personalities,
and then you're like, oh, yes, okay, I like having
like of course I love having three kids. Now they're all so different,
especially now that Elbie's almost out, I'm like, oh good, I got
two more. Yeah, now that's what I was thinking. I was like,
dang, you know, I've been thinking lately, like you know.
Then everybody's like, are you gonna have any more? And I'm like,
why would I have more? I got a boy and a girl one and
done at once, you know too, and done at once, you know,
like, hey, I don't have to do it again, like everybody,
you know. But then I was like, I want to be nice
if I had just done one more, like just one more. So there's
three a couple of years younger. Yeah, just to you know, so
I'm not such a shock when they go off to college, right, you
know. So, I guess what we're saying is it's really really hard also
have more kids exactly. It's just it is, it's it's like a blur
for like the first few years was just a blur, you know, and
you know, and and again like no grandparents or no no aunts or uncles
or anyone. I mean, Olga, that was, you know, my
only person and you know and uh it's and it's your first pregnancy too,
so you don't know what to expect. You don't know what what does that
mean when there's you know, this has happened, they're vomiting, or how
do you bring a fever? Like you know, like who do you have?
Right? Right? So remember that story about how when Elbe was like
she was like eleven I want to say she was like eleven days old.
She was less than two weeks old, and she was sleeping a lot,
you know, not at night, but I mean, you know, all
day long she would sleep. And I was like, this really seems like
something's wrong. And I remember trying to talk myself down, but I had
a lot of things I had. You think I'm anxious now. Post part
of anxiety was insane through the roof, like all night long, googling things,
you know, I mean, what does it mean? I wrote about
this in my book, even just the laying. I remember laying on a
bed with her, like testing her breath because I'd read somewhere that they should
be breathing a certain amount of times per hour. Like I was really stressed
out, you know, But I remember she was sleeping and sleeping and sleeping,
and she wasn't waking up to eat. So I called the pediatrician,
and I remember having to make that decision where you get the phone tree and
they go, if this is an emergency, like if a true emergency,
go to the er. But if it's an emergency, you can page doctor,
or you can just leave a message if it's okay if they call you
back like in an hour, right, or you can do an emergency page
and they can call you back like within fifteen minutes. I remember having to
make that choice. He's like, yeah, I mean she's not really waking
up much like I have to like really like jostle her to wake her up.
She doesn't want to wake up. And I couldn't decide, And in
the end I decided it was an emergency. So the doctor calls me on
call doctor and he was like, what's what's going on? And I said,
well, she's really like lethargic, you know she's not, And he
goes, okay, I go, she's just like sleeping and sleeping and sleeping
and he goes, well, she wedding diapers and I said, yeah,
yeah, and he goes, is she when she's awake? Like, is
she eating? And I go and he's like, maybe she's tired. And
You're like, what is this bitch tired from? She's only even alive eleven
days? Was she got to sleep? For? I wish I'd had the
wherewithal to say that, like, is she going to the gym? No,
she needs to wake up, right. So yeah, I had one
of those things with Natalia where she was like I just remember she would her
eyes would roll in the back of her head a lot, like when she
was really young, like like a month old, and I'm like, why
does her eyes keep rolling? Like after I fed her and stuff, her
eyes would roll, and I'm and so, I don't remember if I called
a nurse, if I called the doctor or Wendy or somebody. But eventually
they were just like, yeah, that's what babies do. They're they're they
they're happy, they're happy, and they're she's sleeping like, but she would
sleep with her eyes kind of half open, and it freaked me out.
I was like, what is she doing? Why doesn't she close her eyes
right? You know, right right, yeah, but but yeah, I
had so many of those moments though, because you're like, you don't know
what to do. Yeah, you just don't, I know. And my
mother was you know, I know this isn't Patreon, and I try not
to like bag on her too much on our regular show, but I remember
her coming over. Her whole thing was like, you're fine. All the
time. I was trying to breastfeed and it was impossibility, you know,
and I'd had the breast reduction at that point, like twenty years before,
and they had said you might not be able to breastfeed. So, as
we've talked about many times, it was really really hard. But I felt
a lot of pressure to do it because I had, remember I told you
about that crazy postpartum doula I had who was like like a lactavist, Oh
yeah, core like giving me the list of foods I can and cannot eat,
and then she would come over and she would literally like grab my booth.
I think she thought she was a full time black tas And then I'd
have to lie and go no, I already just breastfed just right before you
got here. But I was very stressed out about it. And it was
I remember my mom just being like, well, I don't want you to
stop, right. I'm like, because every what do you mean, I
know, just stop? But she had breastfed too. She was like a
hippie mom, but she was like, just don't worry about it. Yeah,
that's the thing with twins too, because I was always like, you
know, on this like sleep schedule, they got to eat at the same
time, they got to go to sleep at the same time. And all
my other friends were just like, why what it Just bring them over and
let them sleep in the other like, and I'm like, but you don't
understand. If like one falls asleep then the other one, then that one's
gonna wake up, then the other one's gonna want and it's just never gonna
end. It's a vis psy, such a bad cycle. Yeah, let's
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So yeah, the beginning with the babies is really really hard, yes,
and you constantly think something's wrong, and my mom would come over and
not help me with that. Like my mom's attitude was, I think,
just like I raised three kids. It's it's easy. What are you complaining
about? You know, And it's just like a different time though, And
you know, there was a lot of eye rolling about the amount of stuff
I needed, But I was like, I have to have an extra saucer
and a swing and a jiminy, and I need all the things. I
keep it moving. I gotta keep them moving, right, That's right.
I remember, though, I got home from the hospital with you know,
just speaking of like family support. I get home from the hospital, my
mom comes over. I want to say, like maybe the day I get
home because I had a C section with her, so I was in the
hospital for a couple of days. I am trying to remember, maybe she
visited me in the hospital, but you know, I feel like I might
have handled things a little bit differently. The day after, you know,
I get home, I'm home for a couple of days. She comes over
and she brought soup. But the soup was like from her dinner that she'd
have like a couple of days before. I told you that it was like
leftovers, not not much was left over. She brought me like a bit
of soup that was on her left over, her freaking leftovers, Like you
can't go to a deli and get some like matza ball super like b Yeah,
no, I you know what it was. It was like I was
such an afterthought. It was such a like, oh, I guess I
have to go help my daughter. I could tell that she didn't really want
to be there. She was there for a little bit and then she was
like, Okay, well I'm gonna go come luck with that, goodbye.
You know, thank god I had. You would think I wouldn't have even
needed a postpartum doula if I had a who lived in town exactly, you
think brand new. I don't know. I know a lot of women my
age who are becoming grandma's yeah the first time, and they are so excited,
like there's a lot of stuff they can't do because they're like, oh
no, I'm gonna go be with my daughter the baby. And they get
so excited if they're going to watch the baby, you know, they're like,
oh, I get to watch the baby. Like no, none of
that was my mom's so bizarre. Did not want to watch I'll be that's
crazy. It was a huge imposition. So yeah, no help. Now
we're saying, and I remember not to you know whatever. But when I
gave birth to the twins, my ex husband decided that was the two weeks
he was going to take off of work to film his movie, so there
was no extra hands. Wow. Yeah, you know, it was just
I was just kind of thrown to the wolves with this new like you know
nanny that we just way like, yeah, okay, I'm gonna take off
time right, so the twins come so I can make a movie. Yeah,
so the kids. Yes, I remember him coming to the hospital,
sitting with the kids for a little while, and then leaving because he had
to get up extra early to go film. It took two weeks to go
film. Did you get it mad? Yeah? Yes? Wow? Yeah,
But you know we're we We have a guest coming this week who is
an ex. She's a Kate Anthony and she has a podcast about divorce.
I listened to and I got a lot of questions, a lot of questions.
We can't wait for her. Yeah, very successful podcast. You know
who she's friends with, Robin Wazinski. Oh yeah, yeah. A lot
of our audience is dealing with this. Yes, that's true. A lot
of women in general deal with divorce. She's a divorce coach, right,
so, which is awesome. I think something maybe I might need I could
have used you. Well, you know, there's before, there's before divorce.
There's deciding if you should be getting a divorce. Then there's going through
the divorce. Then there's the post divorce. So I can't wait to talk
to her. Yeah, and you know what we wanted to bring up before
we have her on Thursday. Yes, on our Thursday show is the idea
of because I was just listening, Okay, this is why I was listening
to a forty eight hours Yeah, as you do. Yeah. And and
by the way, Kate's in the room so she can hear this and then
maybe speak to it. Yeah, on the show that she's on. Right,
So I'm listening to this forty eight hours and it's about this this guy.
And but this is a lot the theme of quite a few datelines and
forty eight hours where the person is like, hey, if something happens to
me, like my wife did it or my husband did it? Right,
and they're like journaling, like I think something's going to happen, and I
think this person's going to like poison me or kill me in my sleep or
whatever. That seems like a good time to get a divorce. Maybe that's
right. Yeah, Like, and I understand that there are I understand why
people don't leave. Like it's really easy to say, of course, I'm
not trying to blame the victim and say, like, if you're in a
domestic violence situation, of course it's complicated, and of course it's dangerous to
leave, and all of that I'm not trying to be problematic, right,
but I'm saying, if you're like this person, if you're telling your friend
friend like hey, if something, if I die, like check this guy
out, how is your evening together? Like are you just watching Love Is
Blind and being like, hey, money, I'll make you a cocktail?
No? No, no, all myself one? Thank you? Right?
Like that just seems ye, yeah, that seems like kind of a clear
cut like this is probably a good person to divorce. Yeah, let's start.
There's a lot of time, there's a lot of situations where it could
seem more complicated making that decision. That one seems kind of pretty clear cut,
right right, Yeah, but I don't know. We're gonna, well,
we're gonna we're gonna talk to her. We're gonna ask about that.
Okay, this has been super fun. Yeah, let's uh give our Patreon
shout out. Yes, Adam Lerner, Yes, that's right. He's a
car broker. He if you are looking to buy a new car, or
or a used car or Lisa car, why would you not use a car
broker. You're gonna save money, You're gonna not you can't get a better
deal by yourself. A car broker has access to like better deals and then
they'll handle they'll get you the best finance they do. They'll shop the rate
for you and then they just bring the car to your driveway and you've signed
some papers. It's the easiest thing ever. I would never not use a
car broker. So get a hold of Adam Lerner at adams got acr dot
com and he loves our FCOL listeners. Helped a lot of them get a
car. Also, Christine has Storybook World Travel. They do travel around the
world, not just theme parks. There's never a cost to use her services,
It's free. She loves FCOL listeners, so go to Storybook World Travel
find them on Facebook or Storybookworldtravel dot com. Also, sorry, Family Skeptical.
Yes, the podcast about raising your kids without any kind of religious beliefs.
Yeah, it's a good idea. Yeah. And if you're doing that
and you don't want to feel so alone, why not listen to the Family
Skeptical And I do. I'm not going to say the name of the person
who hosts the show, by the way, because she asked me not to,
right, she doesn't want to get hate. That's how ridiculous it is.
That people get mad at you for that anyway. Also Wilmanfrida, Palm
Springs pod Me. Yes, we love their food. We love Kelly.
Go check them out if you're in Palm Springs or Palm Desert. Also basicly
Becky, just Basic Bey or basic Becky on Facebook. Get a T shirt,
get a mug, get a mousepadad yes, god to get all the
things. You can make your own design. She'll design it for you,
or you can look on our website and use what she has. Yeah,
and we'll do the rest on Friday. All right, Thanks everybody, everybody.
You're a parent, now, don't if it up. It's good letting go.