It's just like the old radio show with the additibility to swear a lot from
the mac of All Trade studio in Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler, Dods,
Jube Bram. It's bilified the Bill Moran Podcast. Wow, Hello and
welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on. Thanks for telling a friend.
That's time we spread the word about the pirates ship. Look who's back.
I'm back, baby, I'm making it heaven. He freshes back. Got
stuck by the bridge, didn't you. I got stuck by the bridge.
I wanted to do an Evil Knevil. Oh. I just watched a documentary
on him two months two days ago. Yeah, what is that? That
was the one on Netflix? Or where's that one? It was on?
I think Prime. I think I saw that one because he's kind of a
fucked up, grumpy guy. He was at the end, but he was
well. I loved Evil can even now. I had the Evil Knevel toys.
I had the flexible Evil Knevil doll with the motorcycle that I could rev
this thing up in a red thing. It would shoot out, and I
had him build ramps out of my books and I'd have him jump over stuff.
Hours of fun. Yeah, I used to take my sister's doll she
used to have. I think it was the Ballerina dance Ballerina dance, and
I used to try to get it so I could see if I could get
the hair to be grazed and possibly get caught in the wheel and draped.
I browed my sister's dolls too, And I can't tell you what I did,
but there's a reason I stop it. You gotta say, now,
what the fuck did you do? Make it a rain with monopoly money?
And oh, oh, that's where the stripper stuff started? Where it started
way back? And how did you how did you introduce the girls? I'm
I'm my cookie Master microphone. I'm like, okay, here comes Diamond and
Cinnamon and Chestony Bello Up, Barbie chest to be. I only answer so
much, and Darth Vader and Han Solo in the front row Barbie and I
asked her, not Barbie, And oh it was a wild time in my
place. Yeah, I think, Kevin, you're too young for the Evil
toys. I don't think they were making it. I don't I don't remember,
but I think they were more a seventies toys. Oh, without a
doubt because I got X games. But I mean when he what was the
one he failed, the Snake River one? Yeah, yeah, that was
in Utah. Yeah, he was going to do the Grand Canyon right,
right right. I actually saw him jump at six or seven years old,
no um, in Toronto if you look it up that yeah. But yeah,
I was a huge fan of l back in the day. It's so
funny because you bring up the jumping in the fact that it's gone more now
into you know, the Red Bull whatever extreme stuff that they do. Oh
yeah, a few of the guys like Knevel started all yeah, Tony Hawk
and a few guys that made world record jumps, right, and it became
like the X game stuff. Yeah. And so I've gotten so into and
I've been staying here at night and doing work because I figure there's something about
separating your work from your home. Yeah. I didn't during the pandemic stay
home and work. That's true. That's a good fucking point. That's a
good point. I've been trying to fight and I haven't drank as much.
You know, that is funny. You're right, because it's psychologically your home,
you know what you have. But I've been staying here, so sometimes
it gets, you know, pretty quiet. So I'll put on the TV
while I'm editing stuff, and I if there's not a ball game on,
I've been watching Fast and Loud. So on the episode, I think I'm
still in like twenty fifteen, because they mentioned twenty fifteen, and I go,
fuck, this is eight years ago, right, But this show is
about this this garage gas Monkey in Dallas, Texas, where they redo they
build cars, they just refurbished and remake cars. So they got to deal
with hot wheels and they were going to take a sixty nine Corvette and try
to make it like a hot car. And then the hot wheel guys were
gonna come out and see if they could replicate it what these guys built,
and it was fucking fantastic, and then the whole show Wheel Show there is
Yeah, all right, well these guys did it in twenty fifteen, and
I watched it last night. Probably where they got the idea from I don't
know, Jay Leno's on it and they take hot Wheels and like, okay,
they build it from scratch. I think, wow, yeah, okay,
so these guys it looked like I mean, they took the corvette.
They put the pipes out the side, they built the engine way up,
and they gave it one of those uh sparkly gold you know paints, And
it was so cool because like the paint was still tacky and the guys are
leaning on They're like, we gotta way again anyway, and they are up
against this you know time because the guys from Hot Wheels were coming out and
they were always a time thing, and they were gonna let you know whether
or not they were going to remake this says a matchbox. Now, let
me just say this. It's it's always a time thing on TV. Oh,
we've got a deadline. We've got two days. You take your car
to the mechanic. Yeah, Thursday, I think maybe Friday, Monday the
latest. Now they just have to make mistakes a little higher. How about
It's funny you say that because tomorrow my buddy who runs a little speech shop's
gonna come in, Kevin van Waukenberg, and Kevin's gonna talk about something cool
that he's doing down to Watkins, Glenny. He sets up there every year.
He actually bought a house down there and everything. But he does service
to the Glenn. But he does mostly imports. Right. And I have
a friend who I kept saying, you gotta bring your car there. He
needed a whole new radiator for an eighties somewhere in the decade of the eighties
BMW sedan, and he got a quote from somewhere and it was about three
thousand dollars cheaper, little speech shop. And then he said, but everything
had to come from Germany, right, and we had the supply chain issues
and all this shit. So it was like, because we make nothing in
the US, nor apparently. No, it's months later and they have BMW
plants in South Carolina, right, I mean they do. They have places
at the manufactural I don't know why that is, but they it needed to
come from from there. Speaking of cars, Yes, I've got a big
uh what do you call it? A big I got a big engine.
Baby, I've got a big announcement. I guess I'm put on Facebook but
with ubering. Yeah, my car has got a quarter of a million miles.
I'm like twenty miles away, two hundred and fifty thousand miles. I
scare you at all. No, it's a lot, it is. I
have a great mechanic. His name's uh, Can I give a shout out.
You can give a shout all right. His name's Tony Karrakatti, owns
a brake clinic on Scottsville. Hey, Tony, Hey, Tony MICHELRONI a
fucking bald headed guy who watches Scarface. He's got Scarface going on. Twenty
four to seven is garage. It was like, get your fucking car running
again. I'm toning you No. I got it from Great Lakes Classic Cars.
They had seventy four thousand four years ago and now we got two hundred
fifty thousand miles at But this thing's running fine and running. If you drop
it off on Thursday, can you still get it? Thursday? To me
when to bring it in? And he's very honest, good, he's kept
it running. I mean I've got to put some money into it and a
new underframe, tires, yeah, you know, but I need a new
underframe myself. Yeah. Absolutely. The writer at two hundred and fifty a
special prize. I want to write forward and be like, look, if
you want a story about an uber, yes you know, yes, here
I got don't don't want to write forward fucking right, two miles forward over
the k It's an escape or as Dory says escop A, I would say
anybody finding the funny, it spelled just like escape um. But back to
the show, because we started with Evil Kneval, just to finish that thought,
because we went off a little bit here. They jumped the car,
They brought a guy out. They got a stunt man on a motorcycle and
he was doing. Now Evil just rode over and landed. Yeah, these
guys are doing like Ray's kicking their back ass bike flips in the by the
way, a much lighter bike than anything Evil Knevil ever jumped. The lighter
bike. Those bikes were heavy that he was on right, and even those
were probably like for the time, but they were way heavier than than he
was just going eight. Yeah, he was nuts. He was in fucking
insane. He was insane and I think I think alcoholic. Yeah, I
think had all kinds of marital issues. And then is his son still alive?
Yes, okay, because he was he was doing some shit too,
and then he had a bad, bad temper. Yeah, took a baseball
bat to somebody jail. That's when they dropped all the toys. I mean
he was making bank and then yeah, and in two days. Okay,
I forgot he was canceled ship with Petee Herman dying yesterday. I said he
was the godfather of being canceled because when he got busted in the theater and
Sarah Soda Florida CBS pulled a show, uh Disney, they pulled them off
the announcements in Disneyland. So there was like, I go, that's the
first guy that was canceled and nobody got hurt. I mean, even if
you want to say anything about Louis c kay, he was jerking off in
front of people, the unsuspecting people, like they would come to his room
and then that was Louise thing. He didn't know he was doing that.
No, Louie would come in and then all of a sudden he would ask,
do you mind if I jerk off in front of you? I mean
I spend time with Louie. I'm a little surprised by that, but that's
okay. And then would find somebody that was into you know, they're into
yes, like do you like to get wild? But I think it was
some right right, But I think it was some funny like funny women and
stuff, other female comics, some who maybe didn't know him or whatever and
felt like, oh my, you know it's Louis c K. He had
a lot of writing credits at the time. I think he had Louis on
FX and you know, all this stuff was going on and they just sat
there and then it became what it became, that's bad, but nobody movement
but no, yeah, but nobody got touched. Okay, Well, in
in Paul Ruben's case, he was in an X rated theater. You're not
hurting anybody, no, right, that's it. So but he got canceled
for that. Then slowly comes back. Then it's his art collection and it
was a bunch of magazines. It was almost as like somebody had it out
for this guy, because well they always said, what were the cops doing
there? Anyways? Does somebody call? Does somebody blow them in? I
mean the pictures were those the fear Go team. What he looks like,
he looked like, he looked like a drug smuggler. And by the way,
what he did, he looked like he was just leave alone. If
they're in the in the audience was no shit, It's like, do you
want I wouldn't even want to sit in that theater exactly. I know what's
going on here? Fellas? Right? I mean one reason to go to
that. No, you walk in there and it smells like a handful of
pennies. You know it's fucking happening. You know what I'm saying, Rubbing
one off? Come on, Sometimes it doesn't get that nuts smell. I've
never smelled my hands in what are you talking about? Wear a sock?
No, you never made a tube, so I grabbed out a chick afterwards.
You didn't make it out. Whoa. I don't remember the smell.
I remember the good feeling I had. What's going on? Fantastic? Whatever?
Oh yeah, I guess when I was a teenager. You mask you
were wearing during the pandemic. You go, oh, I know exactly what
I smell like. I'm just saying that anyway. That was a joke of
mine during the pandemic. My girlfriend wanted me to wear a mask during sex.
I said, okay, so she had me Hugh Jackman whatever whatever.
I like that, I might, it's so funny. You should. You
should. Now, I don't know what to use. I'm gonna be uh
out of Bloomfield August twelfth with Danny Liberto doing a show out there, and
I did wearing Bloomfield. I got the tinerarias stop like, yeah, I'm
wondering. No, it's got to be probably one of the breweries out.
There's a brewery out in Bloomfield. Oh, maybe I'll come down August twelve.
Yeah, it's a Seray night, seven o'clock on the Saturday. Well,
I don't like to commit to anything, right, you're a busy man.
Oh, it's not about you know where I am mostly and I'm not
even lying right here, right here, yeah, right here, Saturday night.
You gotta put your time in Friday night. I'm here to see I'm
doing it. And if he's not here, it's one hundred and fifty feet
west at their smoke. Yeah. No, well sometimes there either one,
yeah, yeah, either one. Depends on where I want to start in
the alphabet that day. But I haven't been doing that a whole lot.
Did you guys get your mega million tickets tonight? Yeah, buddy, oh
tonight, as soon as you leave. Yeah, you got till ten o'clock,
ten fifteen. All right, Yeah, I'm pretty happy. So I
do mine on a jack pocket. It's the app. So I bought my
tickets right through there and they've already done. Now, I've never I think
the most I've ever won on there it was twenty bucks, but this is
one point one billion dollars. Yeah, they've had no winner since April.
I think they've had twenty nine consecutive drawings without a winner, Tuesdays and Saturdays,
Tuesdays and Fridays, Tuesdays and Fridays for this, Yes, jack Pockets
book ut pee wee Hermann in trouble. According to ABC News, the fourth
largest Mega millions jackpot ever and the sixth largest in US LATTO history, which
is also factoring in powerball jackpots. So that's a huge jackpot. The estimated
cash payout is five hundred and fifty point two million dollars. Do you know
why I went up? Because they added I think five numbers on the powerball.
I think it was okay, twenty and then they went to twenty five
or thirty and then increased the odds. That's why we're having sometimes longer.
Powerball just hit a couple weeks ago. Yeah, they did with somebody,
Yeah won one winner in California. Right. Yeah, So given the long
odds of winning, it only makes sense to buy a ticket when the jackpot
is extremely long arch like because you always see like more and more people buy
it, and that actually raises Sometimes the jackpot. It could be like,
yes, one point one two, everybody's getting one or two dollars. So
with so many tickets purchased, the likelihood of sharing the pride is greater.
According to this. Now, I did go look into something called uh invent
I think it's in ventopedia. Inventopedia, say that fast Inventopedia. Thank you.
No matter which game you play, you have some pretty long odds.
For example, the odds of claiming the jackpot and a powerball darring are one
in two hundred ninety two point two million. One in one one million,
two hundred twenty two thousand is the chance of death or injury by lightning in
a given year, So you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning
than hitting the piping shot up. Got hit by lightning not once, but
twice. Smoking hot. She was don't get her near a microwave. I'll
tell you. We're laying in bed. Once and I said, what's that
on your arm? And she goes, oh, that was a second time
I got hit by lightning. And I'm like I'm like, you haven't even
you haven't even told me the first time? How do you start? And
uh? Once in the golf course and one in the antartics. Struck by
lightning twice? What was she? This is bizarre? It was yea,
where was the other one? The one was in the arm? Uh?
I think in the foot? So I was it sparked off and hit her
in the arm or direct hit I had to be right, like a ricochet.
I'm not sure. Did it knock her out? What's the story?
Yeah, knocked on her back. She was out for a while, called
the ambulance. Everything was signed and just one of those freak things. So
she's got a better chance of wearing the lottery than getting him. Does she
play the lottery? Oh? How long ago is this? This is a
while ago? Yeah? Yeah, this was a while ago. I don't
know if she plays the lottery. I think she does. She took a
better shot at love, she decided that was it. I got her nineiner
for her birthday, waited for out there. Hey, hey go play,
Ben Franklin. I don't think the heavy steps coming for a while. Right
one In fifty seven thousand, eight hundred and twenty five chance of dying from
a hornet wasper beasting during your lifetime, and your lifetime chance of dying of
uh something kind of just crazy storm is one in thirty five thousand. There
is an annual I don't remember what it is, but it's a list of
the top ten or top twenty ways that people have died in the previous year.
I can't remember who the name is, WED have to google it.
I think that's it might be. And one year, this was years ago,
I remember reading and I stopped looking it up. Year after year,
there was a a zookeeper and had to give an elephant a depository shut up,
and while he was putting suffocation. You might have drowned a friend of
mine. Why would you? Maybe you run? Don't you run? I
think the alpha had the runs. He probably don't started saying. The guy
probably started slipping. He got two hundred pounds. Okay, So how do
you have a straight face at that funeral? You can't? I mean,
you know you try to. I mean, this is I'm sorry, I'm
sneezing. Could you imagine could you imagine going up to like the widow and
be like, I'm so sorry for you, Hey, missus dumbo. How's
that? Hey, you need any peanuts? Oh? My god? Good
thing. Bob was all packed like his trunk. You know what, It's
all good? Oh God, I gotta tell one more effect. Um My,
buddy, he finds its hilarious. Four people die every year from vending
machines. Yeah, trying to knock them all over or get them out of
her right something that they fucking fall for a year. Could you imagine,
like, what would you do? Oh god, damn, how do you
explain this to somebody? I don't know. I didn't get my seventy five
cent bagged doritos my fucking ape. Shit crazy because well, fire department.
But I think of where this would happen. It could happen in a hospital
where people are stressed out right, you're worried about your loved one. They're
in there. The last breath could be in a moment you're starving, you've
been sitting bedside. You go over there and you're fucking onion dipped potato chips
are not coming down, and mean you just lose your goddamn mind. Dug,
you're over there, you're shaking it. God, it just takes the
little thing right over the straw that broke the horses, right, and then
at the funeral parlor I would wait for the loved one to die and get
a discount. It's good for one. Hey, I got a Pogo's terrible,
terrible, All right, we'll tell a moment when we come back.
People who have won, and what then what happened in their lives after they
won? And then some people who the first thing they bought after winning meg
it's uh mega millions tonight point one bill right, the ones that we have
here, But there's a few that I just I only pulled a couple of
stories, but there's a few that are very near and dear to my heart,
I really relate to. There's got to be people that were smart about
their money. Yes, it hopes so. Yes. I think there was
a couple in the Albany, New York area that bought, uh invested into
a water park in the name of their in laws or something, and they
built this water park for families that had sick kids and stuff. And they
put two hundred thousand in of their thirty five million, And yeah, like
that kind of stuff is good. It's the other shit. It's the kid
who tried to start a female wrestling league in Vegas. He needed he needed
to hire you. My friend, the guy who has a Bruno Mars concert
for their birthday. Yeah, that guy. I would hire. Sammy Hagu
open up for Bob Seeker at the War Memorial. That would be my first
right off. Wow, now you'd have to get Bob to come out of
retirement Seekers, all right. But first, Iron Smoke Distillery right here in
Fairport, New York making some of the best bourbon to ever pass your lips.
They use locally sourced products from the Greater Fingerlakes area. And the cool
thing is you can go take a tour. You can get a flight.
If you want a tour, email Scully at Ironsmoke Distillery dot com. But
then you go in there you have a great craft cocktail while listening to some
fantastic music, all made with the Ironsmoke brand of whiskeys. Now tonight they're
doing a really special show. They're doing karaoke for Katie. It's live band
karaoke fundraiser. And if you are a fan of the local music scene,
then you know about the band Seven Wonders. They're a Fleetwoodmac tribute band.
They were going to play in Syracuse and they had a terrible accident and Katie
Eberts was badly badly in that and was airlifted to Syracuse. I have seen
her talking, so we know that she is recovering or on the road to
recovery. And just thanking everybody for the outpouring of love on social media.
But I think it would be really, really wonderful tonight to head over to
Ironsmoke Distillery, have a fantastic cocktail as you join in and help raise money
for Katie with live band karaoke. That's tonight at Ironsmoke Distillery in Fairport,
New York. Baby Cobblestone on Maine dot Com Comedy at the Carlton welcomes Benjie
Brown this Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Benjie is hysterically funny. I haven't
talked to the guy in a long time. He is part of a syndicated
radio show with my friend Ricky Smiley. That's how I met Benjie and I'm
telling you he's hysterical. He's done TV. He's part of Ricky Smiley's sitcom
for about a year. He's also done Beets Comic View. You are Gonna
Love Benji Brown this Thursday, Friday and Saturday Comedy at the Carlston. You
can find out ticket information at Carlson Comedy dot com. It's Food Truck Inca
ring season at Jimmys Place in Shakes dot com. Manscaped has pampered me.
No, it's true. I don't want to be gross, but they have
like lotion. So after I used the lawnmower four point zero in the shower
with the LB lights so I can see exactly what's going on and then get
it right underneath, then they've got this lotion I put on there. It
just keeps everything nice and cool. Man. Oh, it's fantastic. You
gotta get that whole package because even the Manscaped underwear top notch went off.
Anything you buy it Manscaped, use the code bill twenty get twenty percent off
and free shipping. That's code Bill twenty at manscaped dot com. A gypsy
wind is blown when warm tonight the sky started and the time is right,
I'm still you're telling me you have to go. Oh, you leave this
something you should know. You should know that. Bill Moran, the head
roll the airwaves a point at your podcasting back for a round number two.
Bear, I've seen you smiling in the Sumer song go to Let's go to
a bar tonight and you'll accompany me. This is one of my favorite I
love Bob Secret. I'm a big Bob Secret fan too. You see him
when he was in the Blue Cross. I did not, I didn't.
I um Bob was always one of those like I was now, I didn't
like It's only rock and roll. That was always the song that. It
was like a dog whistle at a fucking wedding, right every every plump,
oversized woman that you know every day to get him out of dance, every
aunt that's squeeze, she fucking olive oilder girdle to get it over those HAPs
man, she's out there and they do the same dance over and over and
over again. They do the same dance and DJing a wedding this Friday.
Oh you are, yeah, out of deerfields? Nice? Yeah, I'm
look at forward to it starts. We were talking about the Mega millions and
tonight it's one point one billion dollar with a bee. Yes, billion dollars
still brand with a bee, crazy crazy amount of money. So before they
won the two point seven six million dollars lottery Jackpott No. Five. Laura
and Roger Griffin's of England reportedly never argued. They never argued they had a
lovely, happy marriage. Just say two point seven six. Yeah, that
seems like nothing, it does It looks like it sounds like nothing of England
in England. So but but this is convert to I converted it to American
money. It was pound pay more than that. Then they won? Uh,
then they won and bought a million dollar barn converted house and a Porsche.
Not to mention trips to Dubuy Monaco. I would love to go to
Monaco. Yeah, I would really love to go. I wish for the
Formula one races. I wouldn't buy a million dollar house. No, I
wouldn't either depreciating value I would buy. I'd buy a nice place. Yeah,
I'd want a condo. I don't want to do any work and I
don't want to have to pay other anyone to do it. I'll get five
or six bedrooms, but what if fuck are you doing with five or six
bedrooms? I want my computer room. I want okay, painting room,
I want to wait, I want my what room? Painting room a paint
too. Okay, this isn't a joke. Computer room, that room,
I'm gonna I'm gonna say something. And what kind of paint are you doing?
Abstract with a sponge? It's fucking called kindergarten, Nora with the fucking
sponge. I gotta look all right, I'll get your pictures. No,
I want you to bring some in. I want to hang on piece on
the wall. I'll buy it. How much do you sell it for us?
How much is peeweez are going for? Half? Fucking jerk off?
You paint with a sponge sponges, yes, and just dabb a little and
just wherever it go. And so it's abstract, I mean yeah, like
like what it's okay, like we gotta it's not a portrait of anything,
just whatever colors start going. And it's very relaxing. I took it back
up a few years ago during the breast cancer stuff. It was getting so
stressful, losing my mind. Okay, so uh it's sort of a zen
thing. I get. Yeah, I meditation, just grab some canvases and
some critics and just started dabbing. It just took my mind off of things.
It's very relaxed. So I think it's the only thing they give back
at his charity events. So listen to this. I go to my mom's
house, she will be very upset, but she probably won't hear this.
I don't know if she listens all the time, but my dad does.
But she has an upstairs area. She has a nice two story condo and
it overlooks a pond, and so there's a back sliding glass door upstairs off
this kind of area. She has a TV and a built in desk,
built in bookshelves, and she had an easel with a canvas and some paints.
But it's a paint by number. Wow, Doug, That actually okay,
all right? That looks sort of cosmic in a way. It's like
the sun, and well it was I think it was doing an October,
so I just grab some ambers. So yeah, um uh huh. So
really, you have to have no talent to paint for the fun. I
was just waiting for I can see in his eyes he was gonna kill you.
He didn't want waiting for some It was right like I'm looking, I
go artist in the eye of the be holders, yes, yes, yes,
or the beer hold or the beer and that's what you want when I
think you could sell that, you know, if you do have any hanging
anywhere? Seriously, like in your house? Did your mom put it on
her frize? Like? What Doc did I actually gave He just turned fifty
three, he knows the numbers. Two. I actually gave some to a
place called Trillion Jewelers over and around Quinn patton Wood, and they headed for
about nine months, and I think they got compliments and nobody asked how can
I buy it? Well, you did? They need to put a little
tag on there. Yeah, they were first editions or what however you want
to call my first Why don't we Why don't we do this? I think
I'm serious. If you will give us one, we'll hang it in here.
If people see it on the camera, well on it, yeah,
okay, And maybe we auction it off for your breast cancer. Absolutely,
and then if one sells, then we maybe we sell some off for the
UH for the Dug Phelps two hundred and fifty thousand mile fund, Sure new
Car, New Uber Fund. I have the I have the campus. Now
I buy the nice two inch yeah, thick one. I'm working on one
now. Every time I get a little stressed out, stressed out. You
go in there, just work on it. And I've got one over the
TV. One of the bathroom. What's the one in the bathroom. It's
just to it's my poocasso. That's Bill Moran add GMAILAP. I'm trying to
find my favorite because you'll be you'd probably be impressed. Yeah, I think
I'm just yes. No, I like this. I like knowing this about
you. So you would have a painting room, commuter room, bedroom,
a masturbation room, a master bedroom. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, master
bedroom, a guest room that's four guest room, and a couple of the
rooms far friends. No, but that would be down in your living space.
Don't need a bar up in your bed. Do you got alcoholic yet?
Got the tap right there? Bring home ugly women. You gotta keep
the buzz going at it turn. One of these guys never released the second
floor of his house where he stuck. I don't know. I want to
fire pole see forever at bottom. One of my favorites that won the one
lottery was William budd Post. He got sixteen point two million in the Pennsylvania
Lottery and eighty eight but he was a million dollars to debt within a year.
Wow, he said, I wish it never happened. It was a
total nightmare. Former girlfriend successfully sued him for a third of his winnings,
and his brother was arrested for allegedly hiring a hit man to kill him in
hopes. What the fuck? What did the girlfriend get the money for to
say? I think probably because they bought the tickets together into maybe some common
law. I don't know if they have a common law third Pennsylvania, who
knows. I don't know. That movie with Nicholas Cage, it could happen,
you bridget that was based off of a real story that happened in New
York. Yeah. And then he said after sinking the money in the family
business, he lost that he died in oh six living on four hundred and
fifty dollars a month and food stamps. And he said his life was happier.
But this is my favorite guy. This guy's name is Americo Lopez.
He was a construction worker in New Jersey. He quit his job, lied
about it, claiming that he needed foot surgery. This is according to reports
from the New York Times. After coming clean to a former co worker,
saying he actually won the lottery. The I and a few others ganged up
on Lopez for not splitting the winnings as he promised. Like they all went
in on a kind of Oh man, what a jack for a few months.
How does one quit a construction? The co workers claimed they all had
pitched into the winning and the court ordered him to split the prize. How
about that? And then there was this kid Vargas who was nineteen. He
won thirty five point three million dollars in Powerball in two thousand and eight.
He was nineteen when he wins that kind of money. Wow, that's dangerous.
Yeah that day. I mean, my oldest sons are twenty two and
twenty one. I'd be very nervous, I think now. I mean,
of course, you want to take care of your parents. First, they
got a house. Oh shit, I didn't even think of that. Oh
fuck boys, buy a ticket. Yeah. With his newfound round, this
guy, this guy created Ressolitious, a woman's wrestling promotion. Restolicious Takedown lasted
one season on TV, showing audience members scantily clad women performing sketch comedy.
I don't even care what it. CBS News reported that this kid was looking
to create a reality TV show based on the original program, though he had
some regret about how he spent his winning So, I don't know. I
think I would pay off debt and try to clean things up first, And
I wouldn't. I would not. I would want very few people to know.
Yeah, I don't think it's right that they give your name out.
I don't need, especially with that kind of money. Your family could be
kidnapped. Yeah, family nowadays, right, crazy, we're gonna get that
money. We don't now what if it's a family we really could give a
shit about, Like what if it's a really old family member with dementia who
shits their pass some money? I'm like, yeah, I gave me some
last week, don't you remember? No, no, no, if they
got kidnapped and be like, oh, well I got kidnapped once they set
my father a piece of my finger. He said. He wanted more proof.
I know it. But it's it's terrible that, like you'd even make
fun of that, because, uh, isn't there like right now some people
missing? Oh the sex trafficking, Yeah, h no, But I thought
a mother and daughter went missing, like snatched up off a street somewhere.
And I don't know it is like it, but it's still a rare thing
to happen when lottery getting snitched both, Yeah, what do you have?
You have a bigger chance getting kidnapped. How hot you are? Yeah,
nobody running away with my fan are safe? Right now, you're out of
the three of us, right, Yeah, they're gonna go. They'll throw
you back, right. We're looking for something less moldy. I'll take the
unicycle first. So the unicycle I need to like, I need to fix
that tire a little bit, and I want to lower the seat because Danny
who's away, I didn't believe I had one. And then I said I
could ride it. And I tried to write I haven't ridden in two years.
And I slipped on the rugg in here and I started the pedal and
all of a sudden, like it slipped and I slipped off and the pedal
went right into my my shit on short? Now can you balance? Yeah?
And not go anywhere I could never I know, I gotta go.
I got to go forward. Yeah, it was a great thing. I
think it's such a great thing for balance for you know, I mean,
and I think balance is so important, especially as you you age all kidding
aside, Like you know, one of the things is falling, and really
what will really help you out is like your core muscles, and this really
does your core muscles. Yeah it really probably seven years, but you know
what I'm saying, but it is your core that kind of catches you and
stuff. And there were a couple of things at the time I was doing
that I always thought it helped with. One was occasionally driving cards, race
cards like around tracks and stuff, because when you're driving, you you need
to stay. You can't be like ever go around I'm chain you see somebody
that you're driving like you're not on a fucking roller coaster. Stay right here.
But that's all your core. That's why you see a lot of these
drivers who work out a lot now and NASCAR and stuff, they're because they
got pretty tight, you know. And then the boxing stuff and it was
great for that was ance you race cars. I had a few times yeah,
not not really against just hot laps, okay, hot laps, but
there were It was fun to do. And you're still doing the boxing.
Yeah I instructed, I have I haven't. I'm not. I'm not getting
punched it even with a headgear out. No, I did do it back,
probably about eight nine years ago. I did, you're fifty two two.
I'll be fifty two in a couple of weeks. And I got,
what are we doing for that? Fucking nothing? Why? What? What?
What? What? What? What? What do you do? I'll
call you you don't do but you don't do any What did you do?
Uh? What did? I got blasted? My friends took me out on
a boat. We went to four different bars. Nice. I slept until
noon. The next day, I recovered and I went out for one beer.
And then it's two o'clock in the morning. We're working on a roast.
So roast, I don't know what he's talking about. No, you
gotta do that for like sixty you can't do fifty three. Fifty three gone,
I'm not fifty three yet. Two two? You're fifty one now?
Yes, okay, yeah, you don't do a roast to fifty two?
The why not? You looked up because Doug said there's a list of the
strange ways people died. Doug apparently dated a woman who got struck by lightning
not once, but twice, but twice. Yeah, and then you know,
and she didn't die. No, go get her on them give her
that feeling again, though huh. I struck like like, yeah, what
a what? A lightning sticks her fingering out, she said. I she
said she didn't last as long as the lightning kid, which that's where it
ended. Oh yeah, what made her toes curl Moore? You were the
lightning, she shook. Come on, Dougie, Well, if you can
get her in the lightning store riding you at the same time and the lightnings
outside, she gets so scared. Really put a little zing in the fling
if you know what I right, Yeah, you didn't know who was you
were the storm or the storm coming on? You know, I I say
she was any good to the Doppler radar if you know. I had to
be a comedian somewhere where. I heard the story about it banging somebody and
they went into an epileptic seizure. But you thought they were really enjoying it.
And you go, wow, I'm really delivering a girl in California.
It was an earthquake. She goes, Oh, this is a big one.
But she usually said that in bed. They I used to uh did
a dancer and she needed all the lights off of the classy camp because she
wasn't epileptic and she goes the light time. I'm gonna have a seizure on
stage, whether it's true or not. Because they had one comedian that night.
I the second round. Yes, she was talking about five minutes of
death. Yes, but no, there was there was pretty brave. I
introduced. Uh, yeah, there was a stripper and she was an epileptic.
Yes, so she danced in the dark. Any of the flashing lights
had to be turned off. She could just have the rope. Lights had
to be solid, they couldn't be running. And yeah, you have to
do it to right? Was she? Was she worth it? She was
four foot two, seventy eight pounds, soak and went right stone. Yeah,
you know, seven years of college or something like that. How did
you introduce her? I don't remember her name. You please, no flash
for talk. It's terrible. I remember there was a death. How could
she like with the other lights and stuff if she couldn't be given lap dances
and things? There's no, there's no flashing lights and lap dances. No,
no, no, But wouldn't she be around the stage anyway, like
in the same way the lights are going this way? Okay, she's out
in the crowd. Yeah, so that really you have to look up.
Okay, that's all I thought. If you have the flashing lights, you
know, it didn't have a lot of lights. They're just enough going to
the stage. I forgot they were the clashy class at one time. They
were the they were the premier strip club and Ratchets right. And then I
went to California and came back, and he's very disappointed when he got back.
Yea, like Jesus happen all the pretty girls left? So how do
people die? In twenty twenty two lap dances? I saw kangaroos. Did
kangaroo death kangaroos? Yeah? Um, carbon monoxid poisoning on vacation. Yeah,
that's that's said. The kangaroos look nasty. Man. There was some
video I just saw recently where some guy was like started like, oh,
the kangaroo was going after his dogs. He went out to save the dogs
and then started boxing with the kangaroo and punched it in the fucking nose.
Doug, there's video. He punches the kangaroo in the nose. The kangaroo
snaps back and then stands there sort of stunned, and then turns and hops
off, but it didn't go down. It just kind of right, you
know, it probably doesn't have enough force. I mean, if you see
a kangaroo fight, they with theirs on their tail, yeah, and their
big legs fucking slam into you. No way, yeah right, I don't
know. They've started to go after the dogs and then this guy came out
and punched it right in the face. It's like a cartoon. Yes,
it is right. They used to put the boxing gloves on the kangaroo in
the yeah, and the bears in the There's a video out there of a
lady in a trailer park in Florida that comes out with a frying pan.
It starts wailing on this crocodiles that leaves Oh and sure enough, Yeah,
you got hit a couple of times. Stuff. Uh killed by competitive hammer
throw. That's when my kid does competitive hammer throws. That where you spin
it around, let it go, and you're in the stands. You really
don't want to be on your phone on that event. I'll tell you what.
Like I've watched my son do. That's in high school and even in
college. And in college you get some really bigger guys. Jordan's worked out
a ton too, But some of the time sometimes they let it a little
uh late in the rotation and you'll just hear this clanking sound as it goes
off and it hits the net and the poles and the old thing shakes,
and I go, man, someone, I might have to enclose it a
little bit. They do well, they they do, but then you're coming
out onto the onto the field. You got to stand behind them. But
but I'm going you don't punt block those. Yeah, they could be a
terrible war swallowed by a pool. Yeah, see this is one. What's
the swelling by pool um in the middle of the bottom, like the bottom
middle filter? Uh illegal? Now I think you're oh maybe I had a
house built in uh sixty nine or sixty two in the pool was put in
in sixty nine, so it had that bottom filter. But I used to
turn that off because you could do it when the kids were in there,
because I was always afraid, right if the kids sucks and got too good,
they'd be down there and I think the filter asking it knocked off,
knocked off, and then yeah, and it sucked it. So probably smaller
kids, Yes, they're fucking around with it or something. I think some
kid once had their bathing suits sucked up against the filter and they couldn't get
it off and too tired and screamed and inhale scream all they tried gurgled.
Yeah, blown over by a helicopter down draft. Yeah, see that's one
that would be terrible. Yeah, you just saw something blown away? Hit
Yeah, talk here it goes. Well, I'll watch where you are.
We're doing sound effects now. It's like an old timey radio show. To
the horses next Doug and I'm on my elephant. You like my elephant?
I didn't like the elephant. There is a woman that comes enough for a
Sylvan I don't even want to know. I don't even want to know.
There's a woman who likes that town. She does. She's from Buffalo.
She comes in and see her two friends. And this was a couple of
months ago. Something came up. I was joking. It was in the
night, and talked about joking, like taking her out. I said,
I'll even wear my elephant underwear. She's like one said, I'm like,
well, it's got ears in a trunk and when you pull the ears,
the trunk goes. And she started laughing so hard it was great. I
mean to make somebody laugh as wonderful. And I haven't seen her since,
but her friends were there in the night. I was off and they called
me so I could talk to her and do the elephant South. She was
already laughing at from Buffalo. Did you how old is this woman? Uh?
Fifties and sixties. Okay, so she's in here, she's in my
wheel, but she's the young end of the wheel. Right. She's got
a guy though, Oh she does. Yeah, everybody doesn't wear that kind
of underwear. He doesn't. And they're not married. They're just checked up
for fifteen years. So fifteen years. I think they're both remarried or they've
already been married. They be down there. Yeh been down that road,
that road before. I'm been married once or twice. Wasn't nice, all
right anymore? Death by hockey skate? Yeah, that's terrible. Is that?
Young kids? Old kids? I mean this one look like a younger
kid. Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah, that's very happy. Glad we
did that. We'll take a moment when we come back. Dan Campbell,
who he's the head coach of the Lions, Okay, he had an idea
and I kind of like it. bTB wood fire pizza and grill in the
mall like Greece Ridge. Here we are in the a month of the year,
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love it. Our man Kevin came up with that, and they're making it
at bTB. They even have a great entree. How about the Texas plate
Cajun corn, Texas baked beans, house smoked brisket, Yeah, topped with
whiskey, barbecue and onion straws. Some of the specials you find at bTB.
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You just can't go wrong at bTB, Wood Fired, Pizza and Grill.
Hey it's Shannon. Hi, I'm David. Hi friends, it's Jake.
Hey, it's Rima. Why should you listen to Game Night? Think
of um stand by me when everybody pukes from eating the pies. Yeah,
Lara, Yes, that was it. That was our Boma bomb. Yeah,
I used to do that. I tell my sister walked into the room
and she was skinny as shit, and I was just a dick. I
don't know that term my Judy. Did you say judy, my best Judy
you were going with? No, I'm just saying that's something I'm not familiar.
I actually think it's slightly an older termament. Okay, well it coincides
with your sexual awakening also, you know, so I remember having feelings and
I remember very specifically too, in my six my sixth grade yearbook, I
had this like girl crush and I had a boy crush, and I remember
their pictures were right next to each other, and I was like, I
was like, which one do I love more? You know, at that
point I really didn't know. I would join us every Monday wherever you get
your podcasts Victor Chrysler Dodge deeep Ram Route ninety six and Victor I would say,
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Back of All Trade the name says it all five eight five two O
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a Victor Chrysler Dodge Jeep ram line at five eight five two O six eighty
eight sixty six. Hey Bill, I just want to call and wish you
the best to luck and you know all the trials and tribal issues you're going
through, and let you know that you know you're my favorite podcast or my
favorite when you were on the radio, and I too learned a lesson,
not from this the latest podcast, but from the one before I learned this.
Siri doesn't know what to what I'm talking about when I say, God,
damn it, Billy, and be sure to like and subscribe to Bilified
wherever you get your podcast. I have said hey, Siria a few times
and all of a sudden, people listening to the podcasts their phone goes off
less either one yeah, and they thank too. They go off like that.
I do that all the time. I think I use artificial intelligence like
I. I kind of laugh at our resistance to artificial intelligence. It's already
here. You've been using it for a while. You're saying things like hey
Alexa, Hey sire whatever, and it's it's already, you know, I
don't think it's it's yes. If you don't think big brother, big brothers
listening, he's listening. Yeah, And I think, uh. I mean,
I understand the fear with some of the more advanced A but that Genie
ain't going back in the bottle man. So I don't know how they're gonna
write comedy though. Ai'm gonna know what's funny and what's not funny. We
could do, you know what, We'll do. In our last segment,
there was a couple of things that we're running through my head. I was
I was thinking if I would describe a stripper, okay, like maybe she's
got a hair lip or maybe something you lamp camp you have suffocated, like
you have to introduce her. I've never introduced a girl with a limp.
No, But I'm just saying, like I'm gonna describe. I'm gonna describe
a girl, Okay, Okay, and then you gotta you're gonna I'm gonna
be a No, You're gonna be the AI. You're gonna do that.
But then what we can do is I'll pull up chat GPT and we can
throw in a topic and see what joke comes up, okay, and just
see how it does, because I think AI writes too flowery, like it's
it's almost it's too overly done. It's like too syrupy and sticky, and
some of the ship that it comes up with, it's just so nice and
even for everybody. Yeah, like you know, if you had to talk
about I don't know, a certain product or something and it'll go on and
it doesn't it's a it does a fantastic job. I don't know any TV
shows or advertisements, commercials that were strictly done by AI. I'd like to
see them. I think they're out there if you look on if you looked
on YouTube or something, you're just searched Google it. You do you remember
that movie AI with I do. Yeah, Steven Spielberg did that. Yes,
who's a kid Joel? Yeah? Yeah yeah. And it wasn't Guy
Ritchie, who was a Uh, I don't remember who. It was,
Guy Pier to Night, Guy Peers. He was in Sherlock Holmes's Watson.
But I say, we, uh have AI write a strip production see better
than Dougs. Oh we could do that. We could do that. Yeah,
sure we'll try that. Uh So, shortly after Dan Campbell became the
Lions head coach that January twenty twenty one, he and he mentioned this on
a podcast called Pardon My Take. I think it's a bar stool podcast,
and uh he wanted to get a live lion on the sidelines for the games.
Okay, like I kind of I kind of like this idea. The
only reason I would do that, and I've thought about this. Start having
the stickers that you get in college. They have a buffalo they've got.
Yes, you want to make your team feel younger in their youth, that
all put the stickers on the back of the help. Yeah. Yeah,
that's your way to do it. We used to get skulls. Yeah yeah,
I would say she had no problem with it's the owners. Yeah.
So he's saying that the owner, Sheila, who I think is a really
old lady, probably goes, Okay, wherever you want, Dan, Hey,
Sheili, you want to see something on the sideline to the cage.
Yeah, but we'll see. This is a Kevin. I'm thinking about this,
and they go. I kind of like this idea because if you had,
for example, animal rights people be off. Yeah, but if you
had like a buffalo, right, and then and the lion for home gage
the ravens, Like the ravens drop off the ball or they fly over the
stadium and if you get into fights or whatever, they sick the ravens on
you. I kind of like that. A Bengal tiger, the eagles.
How about the dolphins, I got that whole of breathing. I love it.
Din we have dolphins sex. I don't know, I haven't. Yeah,
that's when you're having sex and trying to go in the back door.
She turns around, goes, you have a better chance of being struck by
lighting. I can do that. What would the Browns hapen mascot? God?
But like you could have pirates and trade, Like we could get a
real live Paul Bunyan to be the Giants mascot. And here's what I like.
Let's say Saturday there are no NFL games. It's all college. But
the NFL owns everything now right. They got Thursday Night, they got Monday
Night. We've been in the pandemic at Tuesday and Wednesday night games, so
you know eventually that may happen. So I'm thinking, what if you had
the Marquee game like the Sunday night game on Saturday night? You have a
cage match between the two two mascots. Poor little Cardinals gonna get his ass
kick? Wow? Yeah, I'm just saying that he could do. But
what do you think You're gonna get sucked? A night like this? Be
great for the NFL, great interest you tolamation celebrity deathmatch style. You're gonna
have a line against the Eagle. Yeah, you have a forty nine cardinal
versus the jet engine. Think about that, right? Yeah? What was
that celebrity deathmatch an MTV. Yeah, that would be good for a halftime
show. Yeah, not for a weekly bid. Not just like ten minutes
the night before, hype up the NFL before you know the whatever college.
I don't think you need to hype up the NFL. And just a little
bit not getting enough attention? Yeah, not enough? How do you harness
the lightning? Is it just an outlet? Here we go? I saw
this. I wanted to I wanted to show you. I was at Wigman's
trying to get a donation for my breast cancer fundraiser, and you sold a
sponge painting. No, I did not. But what about this? It
says pills Mafia, p I L l S for Pilsner, and it's got
pictures of a guy breaking a table um the Mexican yeah face, the guy
that passed somebody running and a buffalo what I mean, it's obviously gear,
but it's not doesn't anything to say Buffalo bills a couple of years. It's
not bad. Oh it's the beer. Yeah yeah, it's been around a
couple of years. I've never seen it. There's also the bills make you
want to stout there you go, I mean jumping on there band wagon white
h you should buy some of that and having a surprise for the golf tournament
I get, I get a good amount of beer, okay yeah, and
then anything left over I use. Last year, I gave it away as
a grand prize of the bowling somebody really wanted it. Actually, what happened
was there was a somebody. No, this is kind of a sad story.
Somebody had given me a adjustable bathtub seat and the mother did not want
it. And he goes, this is six hundred dollars adjustable. Now was
her ass ever on it? No, it was never used, never used,
So it was a grand prize one of twelve things you could pick out.
This is a couple of years ago. It was adjustable, how like
just locked in. It was actually electronic electronic, I like you could get
in and out of the bathroom. His mother which very soon of the tub,
out of the tub, waterproof, electric waters nervous K I bought.
I mean, look manscaped. I I used my manscaped tools in there right
on my tool dog on my tool. I used the tool and this guy
friend of mine, he bought it was twenty dollars a card and I think
he bought six or seven cards, just wanted to win something. And it
was at nine o' clubs, and I had called the nine clubs, but
it was at the Blagio. It was at another uh, because you know,
we go through five or six decks and the last card of the night
was he wont He doesn't. But there was somebody else there and their their
family member was going through a LS and they needed this. I oh,
look, if you'd like to donate to her. Yeah, I'll figure out
something for He goes absolutely. And then I go, you know what,
I've got about five thirty packs left over from the golf tournament you could have
done. He goes done. This is the greatest daument, right, I
like to believe everything. I can drink my way into that chair though.
Oh that wouldn't stand in the shower right while you're manscaping. Yeah, I
don't want you to fall over exactly. Could you imagine you fell over and
you hit your head on the faucet down there in the tub. That's when
you get to know you lose weight. When when you got to put your
leg up for the death pick and you're you're trying to get the manscape.
You know, when you lay the mirror on the ground, you're trying to
zoom in from below, and it's not very attractive. Do you really want
the paramedic and seeing only shaved half? To me? I know I missed
the tape. Folks. We call it your duct taping your shapeer to your
backscratched your you call that the rough who's pudding in the Rock'll clean that up
for you before we take in. Oh gosh, you know, we are
living in a time for sports that I think is amazing when it comes to
baseball, and baseball so steeped in tradition, and we talk about all the
asked and these players from the past. But I will tell you, I
think we have the best player to ever put on a uniform playing the game
at the professional level right now, and that is show Hey Otani. Oh
my buddy just texts me something about him. I think show Hey Otani is
I mean, he's on pace to break the record for the most home runs
in the season right now. I think last night he was robbed of his
fortieth home run by this center fielder in um in Atlanta. Now this is
also the he's a picture, right, He's a picture the Angels. Yeah,
and I think he's only making five point two million a season. No,
and I think there's a lot of rumors that by the trade deadline he
could be out of I know they like to call themselves to Los Angeles Angels,
but we call them the Anaheim Angels. We used to refer to anal
Sex as Anaheim. Who's we on the old on an old radio show,
On an old radio show. We used to talk about it because we couldn't
say like anal on there. Okay, So one guy on the show,
he preferred that he liked that, So we used to call it Anaheim because
the A pierced the halo in the logo, so we called it. This
isn't a pictionary, sim and Damien, sure you so. But this guy,
I mean, last year it was sixty two home runs with a guy
who should be playing every fucking game for the Yankees because they're paying him ninety
million a season in Judge Aaron Judge and this he may break that record.
And I think he's also got like four hundred basses. We're on pace for
four hundred basses. I don't think most guys who hit the home runs get
stolen, like, yeah, total basses, total basses. So in addition
to the home runs, a lot of guys are just jack home run.
So they're just getting the bases. They go around. He's hitting, he's
hitting triples, doubles, singles, and the guy's amazing. Yeah, there's
a lot on two hundred ten pounds. I think baseball lost some steam with
how long it was going for four and a half hours. I'm glad they
got the pitch count in that started in Rochester or the minor leagues. Yeah,
I did. And if you watch old games in the eighties, they're
just throwing back and the pitcher's going. There was no dicking around. There's
no out of the box fixing. Were you a big Were you a baseball
fan as a kid? Not? As a kid. I played baseball and
then I got a wrestling in high school, and then later I became a
Yankee fan, and then uh, I like Paul O'Neil for the Yankees,
and he retired and then I kind of got out of it, so I
don't I don't watch it too much. I love go to the Red Wings.
Don't get me beah, I do too, but uh, I don't
know all the stats and everything, but what do you do with wrestling?
As like, you know, guys who play baseball, they get together they
play softball. Guys there are wrestling and you can train. There's a couple
of places. But I'm just saying, like, is there a rec league
wrestling? There are? You know, not not anywhere in Rochester. Do
you know Jamie Lisso, Yes, I've heard of him. I know he
went to Olympia. I've never met him. I have never talked to him.
Jamie Jamie was wrestling, Yeah, Jai Jamie used to have a bit
like that. Yeah, what do you do? It's like, hey,
yeah, when we move the coffee table, get out on the floor.
That's happened when I was younger. Shut yeah, wrestling. Uh. I
had a couple of roommates out in uh California and uh, I know we're
drinking, gambling, playing cards and uh, you know you're badass, you
know whatever. I'm like, you know, I could take you down to
thirty seconds. Oh really, fifty bucks and thirty seconds? Thirty seconds when
you wrestled, did you ever not brush your teeth or anything? No?
No, like before wrestling match, you would have bad breath when you got
any of the other guys, because fucking guys should that in football. And
then if you were on the bottom, they would even just drool and just
drip on you. Guys would eat onions before games. I never heard of
that. I mean I only played football a couple of years, but I
never heard that. We did Yeah, I heard it. We did it.
They check your nails, they check your hair. Um. No,
I never heard any of that thing like that. No, it just seemed
like it would be a great advantage not shower that day. Come on in.
No again, the smell with you, it's all smell. Well,
there is smell. It's a bad thing. No, just getting I don't
remember anybody's smelling bad. No, No, I just I remember one bad
memory. I remember I threw a guy in the county championships. Yeah,
and I had him on his back and he's using his thumbs to poke into
my cheeks really bad, like because I would get off him or let go
or surprise, Yeah, were allowed to do that, let him get around?
Yeah, an illegal move sounds like a cheap shitty Yeah. It was
like hitting below the fucking waste from Hilton. Yeah, explains you could almost
I mean you talked to a couple of wrestlers. They will remember matches from
twenty forty fifty years ago. Well, of course, yeah, it's just
you with you, just a different little it's a gladiator move. Yes,
yeah. So this guy's digging his thumbs into your face. Yeah, and
I pinned him. Okay, Yeah, would come out of there and he
had like two big marks. The next day, you're walking around like you're
the Pippi Long song. No, no, I went away. What was
the worst injury? I never got injured. Never, No. Wow.
I had a sore elbow one time. Yeah, but I was probably from
mass and you were and you were a champion. Yeah yeah, did you
ever talk shit shit talk to you? I talked ship one time and I
got my ass kicked. And I was a first year wrestler. I started
pointing the guy who was going to wrestle and he ended up being a state
champ. There you go. But I was cocky. My coach kicked me
in the ask a couple of times. How tall were you then? Probably
five four or five three now five six? Now different? So you were
low to the ground. Stocky guy had twenty six Yeah. Yeah, I
didn't know any better than just just went just went at it. Yeah,
a little bulldog man. Yeah, that's awesome. I got some. There's
some videos on YouTube. Yeah yeah really yeah, in the old Timer tournaments.
I'd show you, but you left in my paintings. I can't even
imagine this the paintings. I'm impressed by the painting. I actually like that
painting. And I'm telling you, I think that you should do some of
that for the breast cancer and sell it. I will, I will bring
one. I think we should do one. Just sit, let us sit
here and it will be in the background on the cameras and then if people
see it, they can five eighty five two or six eighty eight sixty six
and they can make a donation to the breast cancer. And I think that's
awesome. I saw something. Something came through today. I was trying to
find it. This is you in the Old Timing wrestaurant. This looks like
I'm sorry, which one? Which one are you? No? He's black,
the guy in the white's too tall. Yeah I couldn't. That's but
did you lose? Yeah? Yeah? And this one? Yeah, I
think I was one hundred and seventy eight and the closest was like two to
ten, so I got grooped with that. But I mean, it's two
guys, only like four or five guys. You're not in singlets or anything.
This's like two fucking guys. After softball, beer League decided I didn't
like the way you talk to me out there and you just turn the bar.
It's like, come on, I got a siglet for one of my
tournaments, but I wore the It's over it. Why because you're too I
didn't want to stand out right. I'm gonna remember, here's the elephant sucking
Kimmy, the elephant sucking. How he finishes them off, drop finishing move,
drops the trunk. I'm gonna throw the Dumbo on him all right.
By the way, that guy who robbed Otani of his fourtieth home run,
I think he deserves credit. Was a great catch. Michael Harris the second
Michael Harris the second of the Atlanta Braves. I just watched um yeah,
um, I don't yeah, I don't know how. Yes, I thought
it would be the senior Junior third Trey. I don't know a trip.
I don't know. I just watched Reggie Jackson Biography, and yeah I did
too. I did too. I thought there was something missing though I did
as well. Um, it was something very interesting that stood out to me
that it will not say into the microphone, but I will say to you
off the microphone. It really stuck out and I went wow. And I
don't know, um how it would play if I even said it, but
it was. It was just so apparent to me. And I liked all
the other guys that they interviewed in this because it was also was there was
it? Doctor Jay? Yeah? And um. And I was a big
Yankee fan as a child grown up because I played Little League. Um,
and then I wanted to you know, I really I loved playing baseball.
And my grandfather was a New York City fireman, so he used to write
to the Yankees and he would get schedules and stickers and send me to school
with schedules and stickers. Now, I grew up in like fucking Farmville,
so you know, no one was really going ninety miles down to Manhattan.
I don't think a lot I would. I wouldn't be surprised if half my
class had never gone to the city, even though it was ninety miles away.
And uh, he used to take me all the time to the games.
Yeah, and I loved going. So you say, no, I
was too little. But what I was gonna say earlier was we just passed
the anniversary of the tarbat incident. I don't know if you remember this Kansas.
Yeah, it was Kansasy Royals and the Yankees, and it was Goose
Gossage. And I used to love Goose Gossage and they used to They used
to drive him out in the car. The pinstriped Toyota would come out on
the field and out would come Goose and he began us like like he looked
like Animal from the Muppets. He had that big, you know, ugly
mustache and all this shit. And uh, I have a Red Wings baseball
signed by him, not that that matters, but he because he was in
town for something a few years ago. But he uh So, all of
a sudden, I'm at my grandmother's house watching the game in the basement.
They had a finished basement pool out back, and George Brett smacks a home
run and I go, nah, I'm gonna lose. I turn off the
TV and I went outside, and I missed everything that happened after that,
and I saw it on the news, and I was like so mad that
they didn't keep the game on because all the concert, Billy Martin coming out
pointing at the bat, the whole thing, George Brett running back out just
screaming that, you know, because he hit a home run off a goose
and that was a big rivalry back in the day in the American League.
You know, I don't think the Royals have done much and that I can
think of in the past years. I mean, it just made it's the
world serious. Yeah, I was just saying words left my mouth. I
was thinking that. But I don't. I never hear of them, you
know what I mean, like we hear. I don't even I couldn't tell
you who's in a uniform or who was on that field where I can with
the Dodgers, the Yankees, Otani, you know what I mean, Trout
those guys. Uh, but I don't. I still they're almost like this
team with that's faceless to me. The Royals, there's just so much other
sports the right, but they had Remember they had Dan Quisenberry, the guy
who pitched the side arm, and then years later they got both Jackson and
Yeah, so those were the ones I remember. I know that they just
got there because I was just thinking, as they said, like wait a
second. But I don't They're faceless to me. I don't know any of
the players. So when did you start going to the Yankee games? Seventy
eight, seventy nine, Yeah, seventy nine because I was eight years old.
Yeah, that was right after Jason left. Uh. Yeah, I
didn't see. I don't believe I saw. Reggie ron Gidrey was on the
team. I loved Bucky Dent, Willie Randolph. Um, yeah, the
socks. Yeah. No. Uh, I thought he came from the White
Sox to the Yankees. I thought he was a short. Yeah, because
he hit the home run? Uh in the World Series? Who's the first
baseman went through his hands? Um? That was Bill Buckner on that.
That's the red sides. No, no, no, Bucky Dent was the
way before that. Uh. And then Greg Neddles any TTLs Nedoles is the
very best. And then he had uh Roy White in the outfield. Lou
Pinella Pinella, yeah, the red ass. Yeah. The first game I
went to was uh in Detroit. My buddies were all Yankee fans, so
we drove to Detroit. Got Man's autograph man him. Oh, just off
Manly was like in a time when they never even got I don't think they
ever went to the world. Yeah they didn't. Uh Betty donn or Donny
baseball baseball. Yeah, it was the year after he left was six.
Yep, I think he left. It was the curse was over all.
Right, we'll take a moment, uh when we come back. Um,
a couple of things that were in the news today. Uh, people doing
things, some locally and some nationally. Homemade parachutes. Be careful what you
do with your homemade parachute. We'll get to that next. But first,
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We've vilified a voicemail anytime. I'm a Victor Chrysler Dodge jeep ram line at
five to eighty five two O six eighty eight sixty six. Jesus Christ,
Bill, I finally got caught up. Yeah, it was a buddy among
you guys were talking about circumcision. I had a buddy in his late twenties
that went in for circumcision and a vasectomy. And while they were in there,
I don't know why they had to get him hard for the procedure,
but anyways, he was he was a fishpole type boner guy. Well,
the doctor went in there and fixed it. And when he was all said
and done, like his wife used to said, say she got an upbreak
upbreak brand new gun that shot blanks. And he said he would not suggest
a circumcision on a man because he said it was the worst. Anyways,
back on track, buddy, and be sure to like and subscribe to Blified
wherever you get your podcast. Fishing pole, Doug, that's an AI joke
because it sucks. I like the girls ask is it for? Is it
for growers show? Yeah, it's a fishing pole. You know why why
because it smells like trout here. Hello, I I only have seven inches
when they bended in half. Oh, now we're on to dick jokes.
AI doesn't know anything about dick jokes, and I get no, no,
well wait, we don't know. I think I think AI would shoot at
something like that's inappropriate, or I won't say something like I don't know.
So all the good jokes are going to be yes, yes, yes,
all the good jokes are shot down. That's what you're trying to say.
Uh. Cannondegua police say that um, a man was trying to avoid them
in Lagoon Park in Cannon Day. Would you know where Lagoon Park is?
It's just off to the side it actually goes No, it's actually um it's
something that you can take kayaks back there. It's sort of behind Wegmans in
Cannondegua. And they say don't get too close to where it dumps off into
the lake because you'll get swept up in that. Like the water really picks
up some speed there. Yeah, rapids. So according to police, UH,
they responded to Lake Shore Drive around noon for a person screaming in distress.
Someone's just screaming in the park and they found this guy. He's fifty
two years old. His name is Tyler Furrier, and Tyler has a restraining
order. Someone had it against him, and they're screaming. So Tyler sees
the police and dives into the water in Lagoon Park to hide. Good thinning
of the herd. Fucking I'm just picturing, like hiding under a lily pet,
just looking around like I go, this is the closest thing to a
cartoon I've ever spying on somebody the head a restraining Oh he whatever happened,
he either got too close or whatever it was, and the person starts screaming.
So someone calls nine one one, I'm sure. So the Cannonega police
show up and this guy sees the police, does not want to go to
Joe or be arrested or pay forever takeshef so he jumps into the lagoon,
into the water in Lagoon Park, which is pretty mucky and not I think,
and I think at some points is fairly deep, and tried to hide
from police. So it took two hours. They set up a sting around.
He finally came out and tried to cut through some brash. He's all
cut up. He's all scratched, and they picked them up. I thought
you said he died. No, he didn't die. He said hi,
Hi, Hi died. No, he's trying to hide. He was trying
to hide from them. That's what I'm going. Why don't you hide in
a trail. Why don't you run up into the He's an idiot. You
dove into the water. They knew exactly where you're gonna be. Where are
you gonna go? Why did it take two hours? Were they waiting for
him to Yeah? I think they were like, they're not going in after
him, right, you know what? Are they going to spend more money
and get the marine squad in to fish this ass all out? The seal
team. I do remember in radio once we were giving away tickets and this
guy comes and he gets a pair of tickets, and then might have been
some stupid tribute question and answer whatever, and he leaves. He comes back,
puts on a different shirt. He had really long hair, puts it
up into a baseball cap, and this is like his disguise. He comes
back, Hey man, got a tribute question? And I start laughing so
hard. I go, I have to just give you the tickets because I'm
so. I don't know whether to be sad or impressed that you went through
all this fucking It wasn't a lot of effort, but he brought an extra
set of closed and that that kind of thing. I don't know, mistaken
identity, so that there's one now here is one of my favorite stories from
today, though I only saw it today. A man, I won't listen
to this. This happened in Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City police arrested him man
for jumping into the Oklahoma River. Police say they got several calls about Zachary
Maggie is sitting on top of the Exchange bridge with a homemade parachute. Reports
say he jumped into the river, then argued with police when they told him
to get out. Maggie told police he has done this fifteen to twenty times
because he gets too hot thrill seekers. I don't fucking know what he's doing
and whepping off a bridge yet his parachute go, Yes, you've seen it's
a it's a probably a from his mom's house. Well, well, homemade
parachute could be that, or it could literally be he could go and buy
I'm sure online or somewhere the material of the nyeline, but I don't know
what they're actually made out of and sew it together. So when he jumps
off, it kind of softens the landing he gets the bridge because this is
it's like the one on four bridge. If you jumped off the one on
four bridge, you most likely would die if you hit once you hit the
water, But if you had a parachute, might make it. Are you
gonna tell, you know, walk into hey? That was yes, yes,
yes, with a wet parachute. Could you go? All right?
Let's say, well, where's the place you're that you bar? Okay,
so let's say it far So somebody's out there and they get a little drunk
and they start talking shitty. You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
jump off the one on four bridge. You're full of shit, you know,
I know I'm gonna do it. I mean a homemade bearer. You
are a full shot. So would you let that person drink free for a
night if they brought in improof and you know in this town, it would
hit the fucking news. Absolutely No, you wouldn't. Why not? Well
one is not mine to giveaway, but you gotta pay. Uh No,
I wouldn't do that because if he died, I wouldn't want to be any
part of it. Oh shit, I don't even think of that. Yeah,
I'm thinking it's gonna work. Buzz ki, Yeah, I just think
of that. Yeah, but so what if the guy died he was it's
a bet, Hey, Douggie, wheren't you gonna give him drinks? Yet?
I got? Yeah? Yeah, he lost lost him back. That's
what he would say. Fucker stupid. Oh I guess it went another one.
Don't bet against Doug. Doug, you have such a conscience. Oh
no, you had this soft side where you do sponge painting and not too
many women with women. Wait, what is painting? You've done the painting
with women a little bit? Really? Yeah, how does that come up?
And I would think that, honestly, and we all all bullshit aside.
I think we would find that almost endearing. I don't talking about it
too much. No, no, no, It's one of those things you
got to be like an onion. Yeah, you peel a bat if it's
not going well all of a sudden, Hey, I paint right, we'll
do what we'll do some night. We'll make it like a paint twist.
That I have talked about, like, come to like my house, we'll
get naked and we'll go up against the canvas. Oh, but that hasn't
happened. Yeah, why not? One thing I kept drinking? How about
body paint? Yes, that was my that was my idea. What if
you painted like just your breast and then push up against the canvas. Yeah,
you've got to be very gentle though. Let you go through the canvas
um. Do you cut sponges up? Doug, You buy sponges and cut
them up? You buy them, and you buy Michaels. You can get
him on Amazon. Jesus Christ, As I saw you and Michaels, I
would fucking Michael has got a great a lot of stuff. It does I
Can you ever go to hobby Lobby? No? I love hobby I have
been there. Yes, we're gonna Christmas shopping. Is one opening up in
Greece last week? Is it really? Yeah? Christmas Shop? Its doors,
closing boards, stuff. I've never been star Treks. It's got a
million It's a great place. Yeah. You just next thing you're gonna do
is look you're watching this an hour later, so much cool shit. You
gotta go something that we're gonna get a bunch listeners and here we're gonna do
a painting with Douggie. It's gonna be just wine in a podcast. And
I know somebody does painting with a twist. Actually she just had a baby.
Congratulations to my friend Heathery. Yeah, in her friend time. Painting
with the twist is yeah. I've heard of that a few different times.
But that would be fun. It's fun to do it a bar. They
do it it with Lochlands. What painting with a twist? Okay? And
they usually donated to What if we did one where Doug has to paint during
the podcast? You know, it's a lot of tope right there. I'll
tell you that I'm gonna paint during the podcast. Yeah, uh no.
I don't want to be pressured with that because it's it's it's art. It's
when you can't do it on demand. The mood has to strike me.
It's sponges and paint folks. It's when you're in the mood you want to
relax a little looking campus and you're like, you know what, I'll you
know what I'm working on. I've hit it three or four times. I
did some yellow and then I did a little darker shade right before I went
to bed. Where did the sponge painting come? Idea come? I think
I saw something online. I'm like, you know, that would be cool,
that would be cool to try. I mean I did with brushes.
I went to school for art for a few years while I wrestled design creativity.
Yeah and uh, I wrote, yeah, but none of that really
stuck. But this one a little hair and a little there. You have
you watched my movie yet? No? Because I don't have a fucking DVD.
Can't order one on Amazon from ten dollars? How you got? You
got two thousand listeners? Is there anybody out there that can let Bill brand
bro DVD player to watch my movie? I wonder a porn. It's so
funny because I was cleaning up in here and I have him tucked in the
back there, and I was wiping everything down. I took him out.
I wiped each one down. No, no, what, I wipe down
each one one last story, this one from Gates. And then I'll transition
this to a question for you. Sure there's a guy in Gates and it's
got to be mental illness or something happened two hundred cats, two hundred cats,
and they're saying that the Humane Society came out. A lot of them
were sick, a lot of them couldn't do things. They went to Lollipop
Farm. The healthy ones are up for adoption, obviously, but the town
judge is considering whether their code violations have happened there, and I'm thinking there
are. And then I think this guy is his name Cosmo Junta. I
think Cosmo Junta is the name of the guy who's the town supervisor for Gates
And he said outside the exterior looks good, like the quality. A couple
of issues we can correct later on, but for the most part, it
does look promising For the resident. Now we don't know if if he'll remain
or he'll sell the property, and we're not sure, but this is where
it's at right now. Somebody's saying they're gonna have to say that that same
guy said they're gonna have to strip the home down to the studs because the
cats. I think we're pissing everywhere and that that smell is terrible. Yeah,
and you can never get it out. And once it's in, even
like your hardwoods and stuff, it's almost impossible to get out, So I
who's who's gonna pay for all that? I would assume the homeowner. Why
once the town gets involved, are they knocking down to have somebody by the
property start from scratch burn it. That's sad though, Like you almost wonder
if that person has any loved ones to come check on them or do they
do? You know? You know, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm
fine. But at some point, can you do a mental health arrest on
somebody over cats? Yes, that's what I'm saying Ferrell. Is he just
going out in the woods and feeding him? And I don't know they're saying
in the house farm has Bob coming back every other day for a new cat?
Even the fortieth or fiftieth, they'd be like, hey, Bob,
how many kids do you have? Are you fucking them? You're killing them?
Do you need another? You need another cat? Like I need another
big Max. If somebody's got to bring an eyebrow, you could probably smell
that house as you're walking down the street, potentially, I mean as awful
putting them out. Yes, it's sad. So have you ever had passengers
as an uber driver smell? Yeah? That's really Remember it's bad, right,
yeah, and you don't know what to say, and then I roll
the window. Right now you do? Yeah, because I have a real
concern for myself these days of smelling. Yeah, because I switched the odoran
sounds ridiculous. I switched the odorant, and I don't know why, but
I decided, Hey, let me try this Tom's. There's no uh,
there's no aluminum in it. Right, and there's both aluminums in deodorant.
They're saying it shouldn't it's not good to be rather than that under your arms.
I already have for probably a better part of thirty five years. Right,
So I was using like Dove men whatever. So I go to this
Tom's right, and I go every once in a while, I go,
holy fuck, that's me. Go back to what works. And I'm worry
about time cancer, drinking. It's like, I'm serious, but I go,
you don't want to be that person you ever. Like sometimes there are
people who, no matter what they do, it's bad bo or bad foot
oder. That just permit bad foot oder, but bad don't have a problem
with somebody I know at a bar wherever and they have bad breath, maybe
coffee breath. Yeah, I will, I will say you gotta get a
mint or some gum. You're bad. Your breath is very bad. I
mean, I won't make it do do that? Oh yeah, I would
be embarrassed. I would want my friend to tell me that if I got
catch up on there or something. You know, lives Saver. There's no
Life Savers. That's trip clubs, trust me, no Life Savers dancing.
But if they're so like, wow, that's interesting because I we had a
boss that had the worst breath ever, and we used to love to sit
like there was glass between the studios and we would see him come in.
He was a handsome guy and it was very friendly and everybody loved him.
And we would watch as somebody and it was almost like when he would be
talking to them, like they got hit in the head with a fucking you
know, we're at a blacksmith, and then they took a hot iron out
and poked him in the eye. You see their heads snap back, and
we fucking die. We would die die laughing. And then I'm on the
Old wee Show. So it's me, It's Tommy, It's Weeze, and
I had I was producing the show, so I had a mic like this
and ad asking my computer and stuff, and it was kind of diagon across
from Wheeze. This guy comes in and he leans in and starts talking into
my mic as I'm sitting there, and so I just turned and I know
that the other two assholes on the show with me are well, they know
that this guy's breathbit. So I slowly slide out of the chair, dug,
slide right out and lay on the ground like I died, And they're
fucking crying. And the guy has no idea and we were afraid to tell
him. We were embarrassed to say you're but it was it was like literally
like something died. It's it smelled like the man ate a can of shit
every morning before he came in. You know that that like it's that bad,
Like he just can't remember the few people he ate a stack of stripper
asshole at the classes cast Wow, and that came in. It was the
asshole buffet that morning and he came in. That's not like you have to
hey, it's the leather tray. I know, I know, but I'm
just saying like that. It was terrible, and we hadn't we didn't have
the guts to say anything. And so then another guy came in who used
to work there. He was visiting. He's a big voice guy. He's
he's actually the voice of the podcast. Is this guy. It's us like
the old radio show. So that guy and he does movie trailers and radio
stations around the country. Yeah, Harry, Harry LaGG is his name,
that's his real name. And Harry told this guy how bad his breath was,
because the rest of it he was appreciative, right, Yeah, And
the guy came in and yelled at us, you bunch of push easy.
He wouldn't tell me how half my breath was, but it was terrible.
Yeah, I have no problem telling him that. Really, not out loud,
but I mean, I don't want somebody to be embarrassed. So if
you and I were hanging out, yeah, and we went out to a
bar, Hey Bill, how are you doing? No, Like if all
of a sudden we're leaving before we leave, like, hey, hey Doug,
you know I let's say I I'm either meeting you or place or I'm
gonna pick you up on the way and we're gonna go together. And you
get in my truck and I turned to go hang on you gonta do me
a favorite? Came here? What does that smell like to you? What
you're doing me a favor? Right? But I don't need to breathe If
it's that bad that I know, I want to say, Bill, let's
stop at a seven eleven, grab some tic TACs that your breath is a
little you know. I don't don't want to hurt your feelings, but I
think it would be. I used to do jokes on stage that I would
always go, why is it people with bad breath always have to tell you
a secret? Why? Because and you're moving around trying to get out?
Why do they have to tell you a secret? They're right there, right
there, You're trying to move away. Ever give him a piece of gum.
All of a sudden, you see the gum in the ground. You
go even the gum said fuck it jumped. See you can do ten minutes.
And I could do something. It's been a while, but I could.
I could do something. All right, we will take a moment and
when we come back, we're gonna I'm gonna give Doug. Well, do
we want to do AI verse Doug in intros? Or do we want to
do we give Doug? The description of the stripper. We can do both.
I mean, we got time. So how do you do this?
You type it into the computer. Yeah, I could go to chat GPT
and I could and i'll we can see if it'll do this. I've never
heard of a chatt chat GPT. It's it's from AI. It's AI.
It's like the leading AI. Okay, I just turned fifty three last Thursday.
Yeah, I know, Yeah, you don't look the day over fifty
one, thank you plus two fifty one and seven hundred days. Yes,
typing what you want with Chippy Chap there and telling me I think this dealer
doesn't work and we can see the arm pits your mouthy fan turns your way
and we gett Do you get hit? Fuck? I was kind of hoping
it was true. Usually when you fart, But first, if you get
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and brew Rock dot com. Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls and children
Valles, we're back for our number three at this time gear sing which she
was ready because he's a five line fire, the one, the only,
mister Bill Moolray. It's a great strip song, so I pulled it up.
It's not one of the pops of people's minds right away as a strip
club song, but that's a strip club song. It is. Yeah.
And this is when Billy Idol had um the bad motorcycle accident. So the
video is just him in the frames and he's singing like he's in the TV
and on the frame and stuff because they couldn't do a full body shooter.
Never seen him at concert. I did at the Pepsi Arena when I was
called the Pepsi Arena and Albany, and my buddy claimed that he in an
elevator with him and one of the other guys was with him and they said
Billy Idol got in and my buddy, Jeff at the time returns and goes
fucking Billy Idol and he grabs me by the phase he goes and then he
walked off the elevator like the next stopped. So I yeah, Hotel,
we were saying that, Yeah, that was I missed that exchange. Billy
Idol. I was like, Billy Idol, it was like one of my
He was eighty six, eighty seven, yeah, yeah, right into the
nineties. Now he's a grandpa. Yeah. Yeah, So how would you
introduce a gosh what no, I'm just wondering. It's been a while.
Yeah. Now this stripper happens to be plus size. She's three hundred pounds.
It's me, believe it or not. I worked with a girl there
was three hundred pounds of the Hollywood Trapicicana and it was after their heyday.
Yeah, and around the downsidere on the way to Okay, all right,
and uh she got a few lap dances and all you can see was the
guy's feet and she covered him like like getting clips. And she tip me
out more than the other seven right yere wow man, yeah, pancake,
Oh, without a doubt. So two tons of fun. All right,
So she's three hundred pounds three hundred pounds, and her right leg is one
inch shorter than her left. Hold. How would you introduce your talk?
I would have I would have to work on that. Oh, just just
for a few minutes, just right off the top of your right hang on,
here we go, all right, Jimmy, Here she comes, two
tons of fun and two inches short around one leg. Hip hop it into
the stage. Hide your twinkies for Molinda. Yes, I love that.
That's awesome. Now are you gonna type that into AI and see when they
come? Okay, all right, I've got chat GPT open Okay open AI
is the name of the company. I believe that Elon Musk invested a lot
of money in this and it's in research. But back, I'm gonna get
back in there. Twenty tens. My Twitter Friendly changed over to XM today.
Yeah I did it. Yeah x everything's x now. Um. Yeah,
So so I'm gonna type in, uh three hundred pounds stripper dripper introductions
dripper three hundred pounds introduction peg legsidduction for I gated a girl with a peg
leg once. Her name was Eileen Hey good gag. She held her panty
hose up with thumb text. I get stripper introduction for a three hundred pounds
I want to hear this woman with her left leg one inch shorter than her
right, one inch shorter than her right. Okay, let's see stripper introduction
for a three hundred pound woman with her left leg one inch shorter than her
right. Okay, here we go. That's actually wrote it, actually wrote
it. All right. Ready, now I'm gonna try this. Can I
try this? All right, I'm gonna show. I'm gonna try it.
Here we go. Let's see what happens here. Oh wait, here we
go. All right, Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to be mesmerized by
the one and only, curvacious beauty who knows how to own the stage like
no other. Allow me to introduce you to the fabulous and fierce performer who
defies all expectations, the stunning deva with heart of gold and moves that will
leave you breathless. Put your hands together for the sensational and enchanting star of
the night, our very own goddess of confidence, the one with the flair
for the extraordinary and the incomparable busting I don't know with every swam her hips,
every graceful step. She defies gravity. It showcases, it showcases her,
proving that beauty truly comes in all shapes and sizes. Let's celebrate the
captivating allure an extraordinary talent of this remarkable woman whose life leg maybe woman,
sure, but her passionate dedication to her craft knows no bounds. Get shorter,
so get ready to witness a performance that will leave you at all and
inspired by her seers strength, self, love, and charisma. Tonight,
what's your state? Same? What could be? Same? Same? Busty
Montana, Buste Montana is here to remind us all that being yourself and embracing
every aspect of who you are is the ultimate key to radiance and empowerment.
Let's make some noise for this phenomenal queen of the stage. How about fucking
that that A is AI my friend? You don't need more? AI curls
over there, waiting ten minutes for the introduction to be done, right,
fucking AI. Well, they write too much, but you just take what
you need out of that. Absolutely it's right spectacular. Here comes Almond Mounds
from Detroit, Michigan. The reasons they put back seats and cars, gentlemen,
you're ready for Courtney? All right? Can we try one more?
Of course you can, all right? Can we now? Do you mind
going against Ai? Not at all? All right, So we'll do the
same song if Jeopardy can do it, all right. So what I'll do
is, as we come up with it, I'll write it in here so
then it'll be ready right after, Doug. So who am I introducing?
Now? So now we got to introduce? Let's say, okay, here
comes okay, a unibrow with a hair lip brow cross side? No no,
no, no no, a unibrow with a visible C section scarner all
right, cross side? Okay, uh, stripper introduction. I'm typing this
in forgive me. This is Ai stripper introduction for a woman with a unibrow.
What else did we say? Scar? Cross side? Uni brow cross
side and a visible C section scar and a visible see section scar. This
will be the last one, glorious Adams have. Okay, Doug, do
you want to go first? You have to go first, because otherwise it's
like cheating. He's got a billion things going through, right, I get
I'm the one that can think. Sure, hit me up, all right,
I'm gonna hit you up with the same song. Here we go.
Here it comes Doug. All right, gentlemen, all eves frond of center.
Here she comes from Las Vegas, Nevada, your special C section Saturday
headliner with blue eyes one blue that way, one blue the other. Can't
hear more is ready. She's got a n a brown and knees some taming
brothers. He can't duplicator, You can't replicat her. All you can do
is appreciator. Get ready for the one and only Sonya. Now you hit
the post. They wrote so much I have to read it, only want
to hear. It's gonna post at home, sweet home. It's true,
probably not Doug. That was phenomenal. Thank you. That was very good.
I'm a big fan of Doug, huge fan. They gonna think it.
All right, we'll go back. We'll do girls, So we do.
Now we'll do the same song because the same way. All right.
So now I type that into AI and we will hear what AI came up.
Unibrow C section cross You got it. Ladies and gentlemen gather around and
prepared to be captivated by the one then only, the mesmerizing, mesmerizing enchantress
who's about to take the stage by storm, allow me to introduce to you
a true testament of beauty and confidence, breaking all stereotypes and embracing her uniqueness
like no other. Put your hands together for the breathtaking and fearless performer Oscar
the Grouch. With a very alerting glance and every graceful move she defies societal
norms and embraces her interview. Is this the same thing? It's the same
thing. Her unibrow accentuates her distinctive charm, while her mesmerizing cross eyed gaze
draws you into a world of intrigue and fascination. And let's not forget the
visible see sexon scar that tells the story of strange resilience and the miracle of
life. Tonight we celebrate the powerful presence of Oscar La Grouche, a woman
who stands tall and unapologetically owns her identity, proving that beauty is not confined
to conventional standards. Her magnetic charisman incredible talent will leave you spellbound for reminding
us all that self love and self acceptance are the true keys to being extraordinary.
So, without further ado, let's give a warm welcome to this remarkable
and trailblazing performer. Get ready for an unforgettable performance filled with passion, empowerment,
and celebration of authenticity. Ladies and gentlemen, Oscar is here to show
us the true beauty shines brightest when we embrace every aspect of ourselves. Let's
make some noise and show her all the love and admiration she truly deserves.
Pass and gentlemen, your winner tonight, dog felt fresh day, You crushed
eye. Absolutely, you are the smartest man alive. It was awesome.
There you go. I don't think you got the concept of the quick and
easy introduction of a strip my wide man. Maybe I should say quick and
easy, but I did not. Yeah, he's never been in the front
row of a strip club. Be weird though, if you had a cross
eyed stripper and you could really fool her. I never had across the stripper.
No, of course not. What do you mean, I've never never
worked with one, you know, That's what I'm saying. I don't think
there's a girl, Okay, Yes, yes, I think I know somebody
who dated her. Yeah. Yes, she was a blond about twenty years
ago. Yes, smoking, and I'm pretty sure it was toothless Eddie's son.
I thought dated her. I thought she was because she was deaf,
and I think she Yeah, I think so, I'll fight foot four.
Yeah, we'll find out later when he listens on the Facebook. I was
jell. I had a threesome with her. Is it counts a three someome
if you masterbate with both hands at the same time. I don't know.
I've been asking myself the same thing for years. Actually, you know it's
even better, Doug, is when one of your hands falls asleep. I
want to I want to be awake for this strange Did your hand falls asleep
trying to make her hand go? Now? Okay, your hand go now?
If a girl falls asleep, any of that is not good. No,
no, no, no no no. I had I did that in
college. I fell asleep. I waved a chick off. You're just tired,
hammered right. There was a girl that her breath stunk, and I
didn't tell her, and I just I just didn't go pick her up at
the airport when she was that the only in the stunk as far as I
got, Sir, I was a gentleman, Rice, I was a gentleman.
I was I don't know. I don't. I did not get I
did not find out, did not find out. I was trying to think
if there was any other unique dancers that I worked with that uh you know
the deaf one, No cross side. No, but anybody like with an
injury, like an arm and nub of any kind. No, No,
Gamon Fellas rubbed the nub tonight. It's rubbed the nub night. That's that's
more. That's more barrel, isn't it. Yeah, there's yes, they
sparrel has where the C section is classic catch still demolished, right, okay?
Yeah? And then what was the other one out there? There was
two in the tally Ho tally Hall people there you do you have? I
have okay, strippers we've been going to work there, yes, yes,
within the year, within the year, and I give my whole spiel and
introduce them everything. I did that with a girl, a couple of girls
at the barrel. One from the Mirrage. Yeah, the marrage is still
open, but I think it's a backdoor open. It don't excuse me.
It's like it's open, but but it's not known. Is that known?
It doesn't look very much, so it's like an underground strip club. Sort
of. Really. I think the guys that go in there get the champagne
room and they do whatever they want, do whatever they want. Yeah,
okay, don't quote me, no everybody else I was I dropped somebody off
of the barrel. This was a couple months ago, and I had to
use the bathroom, so take a leak there. And they had the coolest
thing. They still don't have a DJ booth, but they had a led
Zeppelin pinball machine. They did. They did. Wow, who do you
get a pinball machine at the Classic or the just sometimes? Yeah, you
get a dark board pool table. Said. They put a bunch of money
to that place. Yeah, into what barrel? Barrel? Years ago?
Oh up a little bit. Oh okay, I have I I'm not this
is gonna sound weird. My Nandiver was a really big strict club guy.
I don't think you were either. I think you just worked there. Well,
I think you worked there and you enjoyed. I mean that was fun,
like we're going to be Donalds. You just don't want nuggets anymore.
It wasn't I think I think for you though, it was probably like comical
at times. Oh gosh, it was more sadness than anything. Oh god,
the ones with kids or yeah, a lot of drama. Yeah,
a lot of made up drama by the way, they're looking for drama.
Yeah, you know, you think it's all fun and craziness, right,
Yeah, after party, I never went out to drink and uh smoke weed
and drugs or whatever like that. I was friends with the owners, yeah,
you know, and then we go out and a bunch of times we're
on boats on Sunday when we were closed with a few of the dancers and
just you know, the cool ones we got along with. I would drink
ramosas and beer on Sunday and just chill. Don't keep up with any of
them, though. The owner I do. Yeah, he's out pass Williamson.
He and his wife came and saw me at the Carlston last year.
We supposed to play golf. Okay, I heard that we're gonna come this
year, but she just didn't cut they were there at the Semis. That
would have made it. I just buddy learning experiences. I just met or
one of the old bouncers there. His name's Buster and he is a riot.
He was a bouncer at the bouncer of the Classic Cat. Yeah,
they actually vacation together the owner and few of the girls. We got a
house in Duck Beach, North Carolina. I would drive down there for a
week. All the boots, all the food is great, play golf pool.
It was great. Huh is you in the movie? No, the
Cat right right? The Cat Night the Cat. Yeah, I'm gonna get
a DVD. We need to get that on somewhere where you can just stream
it. Yes, that's the thing we gotta do. You put it up
on YouTube. I don't sid that to do list. I just I'll leave
here, I'll get my mega millions, I'll go home, I'll start working
out of the breast cancer stuff, and I'll forget about it. Yeah,
I know you all right? Do you want to see if you could be
funny or than ai? What was it? Didn't you say something the joke?
Yeah? How are they going to do a joke? Ask him for
a joke, because I know and Alexa tell me a joke. My nephew
would do that. Oh yeah, for fart sounds or whatever, because there's
always going to be don't give us the punch time, but give us the
premise of your joke and we'll have all. Let's see if they can come
up with it when and I'll know. I'll tell you what if they started
the joke, I'll tell you where it's all right, So what do you
want? What do you want the joke to be about? Whatever you think
is appropriate for this? You know a doctor, A guy walks into bar
I don't know, all right, well, walks into a doctor at an
adult joke? All right, I'll say, adult joke about a doctor.
Sure, see where it starts adult and I'll see if I can f about
a doctor. Okay, here we go, the longest joke ever. Right,
Ah, not too bad. As an AI language model, I must
adhere to a set of guidelines that prevent me from generating explicit or offensive content,
including adult jokes. My purpose is a bride useful in respect of all
right, how about joke about it? We'll just go joke doctor a doctor.
Sure, here's a clean, lighthearted doctor joke. Why did the doctor?
Are you a red pen? Doctor carry a red Why did a doctor
carry a red damn it? I don't know. Why did the doctor case
they needed to draw some blood work? Oh my gosh, what's the difference
between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer. Thank you, that's clean,
he get, Hey, I can't come up with that. No, this
doctor interviewed three different nurses. He he interviewed a blonde and brunette in the
Redhead. You know which one he hired, the one with the biggest tints.
Hey, haven't worked you juggle of being a podcaster? Okay, what
are you stupid joke about? Podcaster? Why did the podcast? Why did
the po pocaster are always carrying a microphone to lead people speechless? Because they
wanted to be ready to cast their voice anytime, anywhere. That would be
Why did Bill Moran always walk around with a fishing pole? He wanted to
cast his voice everywhere he went. Yeah, there you go, just one
way or the other. But there's gonna be jokes that you're not gonna be
able to tell with AI. It's gonna be a well, I'm sure sooner
or later, a voice joke. You're talking like an old man in a
doctor d office or something like that. Yeah, because a lot of jokes
when emails started coming out, I mean that was huge. You'd have thousands
of jokes that everybody would read and pass along. Blah blah blah. But
the ones with the voices are still the best ones because you couldn't pass those
lying if you could. If you have people that can't tell a joke,
and there's a lot of them, not bragging, but I can't tell a
joke? What if you have asking to tell you a dick joke? See
if it differentiates between can you tell me a joke about a penis? Just
say dick joke? Dick joke? No apologize? But I can't comply with
that request. Huh? How about fart? Is that gonna be too dirty?
Fart joke? This is for Ai, just seeing what Ai Cannon can't
do or tolerate. Fart joke? Why don't scientists trust Adams because they make
up everything, even farts? Adams make up everything, even farts? Got
it? Dan at Dan Dan Aunt Dan? All right, Well there as
in the finals the funniest person at Rochester. I want to thank Bill Moran
for having me on the show. It generated twenty friends for Dougie Fresh bringing
it tonight in the house, Baby, glad to be back. I think
I'll be here next Tuesday. If you got an open mic? Yeah,
man, all right, all right, if you can do that, we'd
love it. Sure. For Kevin Muir, Kevin who made the Bill of
Fried Sandwich, which is Yeah, it's two big pieces of maloney and you
can find it a beat eb at the mall. I like it. Yeah,
go check that out. And I'm going Miran, We'll see you tomorrow, husband,