WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:17.600 And enogy, cancel so highsag cancelge honor, it's not sorry, andenogy. 2 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:22.879 What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing 3 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:26.480 this episode, then you were meant to be here. So keep listening on 4 00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:31.079 that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times a baby girl, 5 00:00:31.160 --> 00:00:35.359 We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered 6 00:00:35.479 --> 00:00:41.359 positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this 7 00:00:41.560 --> 00:00:45.920 podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly 8 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:50.719 who we came here to be. Today we were talking about probably one of 9 00:00:50.920 --> 00:00:57.439 my favorite subjects ever, and that's how to not feel inferior, but to 10 00:00:57.679 --> 00:01:03.760 get turned off. Because as magnetic women, when someone disrespects us, we 11 00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:08.200 don't feel, oh, there's something wrong with me. I'm not good enough, 12 00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:11.879 I'm not pretty enough, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not smart enough. 13 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:18.159 We don't feel inferior because of someone else's low level of projection. We 14 00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:25.159 get turned off. We read the writing on the wall and place people accordingly, 15 00:01:25.560 --> 00:01:29.040 because we are not the rehabilitation center for other people. No, we 16 00:01:29.159 --> 00:01:34.239 are not. We came to planet Earth to enjoy this incarnation, to enjoy 17 00:01:34.519 --> 00:01:41.319 our own energy, to enjoy learning, developing, and growing as a soul. 18 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:47.159 Now didn't we? Yes, we did. So. Many of us 19 00:01:47.400 --> 00:01:53.040 are wasting our damn time feeling less than feeling inferior. We're letting the lower 20 00:01:53.120 --> 00:02:00.680 vibrational entities of this world's win because we're believing it's lies. As a positive 21 00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:04.480 bitch, which is a magnetic woman. We know this, yes we do. 22 00:02:05.480 --> 00:02:09.479 We don't let these lower vibrational entities win our mind. We do not 23 00:02:09.759 --> 00:02:16.719 drift with the devil. We clearly, consciously, with our free will, 24 00:02:17.560 --> 00:02:22.759 choose what we believe, that which is in accordance with our highest good, 25 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:29.080 that which is in accordance with our divine plan. And we live in our 26 00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:35.560 truth, knowing that someone else's limitation has nothing to do with us. And 27 00:02:35.719 --> 00:02:38.680 instead of trying to convince people to stay in our life, instead of trying 28 00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:42.319 to convince people that we are good, instead of trying to convince people of 29 00:02:42.439 --> 00:02:50.759 literally anything, we do not seek to prove ourselves worthy. We remember our 30 00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:58.240 worth. We do not beg people to love us. What we do is 31 00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:02.199 see people for who they are, respond accordingly, and we don't feel inferior. 32 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:08.439 We get turned off Yes, that is exactly what we're going to be 33 00:03:08.479 --> 00:03:13.560 talking about today. How to get out of this lack mindset of I'm not 34 00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:17.520 good enough and enter into an abundance mindset of I'm actually turned off and there's 35 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:23.680 someone much better for my soul. Yeah, because do I need to remind 36 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:28.360 you that your soulmate is not the person who's leaving you on red. It's 37 00:03:28.439 --> 00:03:30.719 not the person who's disrespecting you. It's not the person who's causing you to 38 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:36.520 have massive anxiety every day of your life. That person who's doing that to 39 00:03:36.680 --> 00:03:39.159 you, that's not an invitation for you to prove your worth. It's an 40 00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:46.039 invitation to remove them from your reality. Your power does not lie in trying 41 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:50.240 to change or fix other people. It lies in your ability to shift your 42 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:53.400 proximity to that said person. Before we get into it, a couple of 43 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:59.000 announcements. If you have not yet ordered your copy of Show Up as Her, 44 00:03:59.319 --> 00:04:02.000 my new book, which is ten Loss for Reclaiming your Power, embodying 45 00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:06.520 magnetic energy and positive manifestation, be sure to get your copy. The link 46 00:04:06.520 --> 00:04:10.560 will be in the show notes. If you are not yet following me on 47 00:04:10.759 --> 00:04:14.840 Instagram at VIBEWCC and at that Bitch is Positive. Be sure to follow me 48 00:04:14.919 --> 00:04:17.600 on both of those pages so you can stay up to date on this podcast 49 00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:21.680 and all things Magnetic Energy. And if you're looking for more intimate guidance, 50 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:25.680 I am a certified life and energy coach and I do offer one on one 51 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:29.560 sessions via zoom. You can DM me on Instagram at Vibe with CC to 52 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:32.399 learn more about how I can help you along your most beautiful journey. But 53 00:04:32.519 --> 00:04:38.000 without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Now. When you're dating, 54 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:42.839 there are going to be many moments where you get to create meaning around 55 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:46.399 your life. We don't live life, We live through the meaning that we 56 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:53.160 give to our life. This is why there's multiple eyewitnesses. We are not 57 00:04:53.319 --> 00:04:57.720 perceiving reality as reality. We are perceiving reality through the lens of our own 58 00:04:57.800 --> 00:05:04.319 past experiences. Whatever meaning we have practiced giving to our reality is the meaning 59 00:05:04.439 --> 00:05:12.160 we are really good at assigning. If you are constantly feeling like you're not 60 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:16.639 good enough, you are not meeting the mark you are less worthy than your 61 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:24.360 peers, it's because you got really good at creating and assigning that meaning in 62 00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:33.000 your reality. Why do you feel inferior? Why do you feel maybe not 63 00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:39.720 good enough. I need you to understand that you have essentially been groomed to 64 00:05:39.879 --> 00:05:44.439 feel inferior. Strong language, but this is a truth. You have been 65 00:05:44.519 --> 00:05:47.800 groomed to feel not good enough. You have been groomed to live in a 66 00:05:47.879 --> 00:05:53.560 reality where you never feel like you're giving enough. You have been groomed to 67 00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:58.399 be a people pleaser, to be a martyr, to put other people ahead 68 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:03.720 of you, and to suffer. That's the programming you've received. Whether that 69 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:10.399 is what your caregivers consciously try to impart on you, or whether you deduce 70 00:06:10.519 --> 00:06:14.360 that meaning from your reality as a child, it doesn't matter either way. 71 00:06:14.920 --> 00:06:18.040 That is how you think you must be in order to survive and get love 72 00:06:18.120 --> 00:06:24.519 and connection from your reality. But that is just a meaning you created. 73 00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:30.199 It is not your truth. It is not your truth. You were born 74 00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:34.800 this magnetic, authentic energy you learned in identity in order to survive and get 75 00:06:34.839 --> 00:06:40.800 the attention of your caregivers. If you still constantly feel like you are not 76 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:46.040 good enough, it's because you're living under the guys. The role, the 77 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:50.439 identity of that people pleasing martyr, of the good girl, the quiet girl 78 00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:56.600 who has to put herself last. You learned at an early age, that 79 00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:02.199 your worth is a result of what you can do for others, that your 80 00:07:02.439 --> 00:07:09.040 value is a result of what you can do for others. You learned that 81 00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:14.839 you will only be accepted and loved when you live in accordance with others. 82 00:07:15.319 --> 00:07:20.399 So if you're wondering why you still in every relationship and every job never feel 83 00:07:20.439 --> 00:07:26.800 good enough, it's because you have consumed and became this identity, and therefore 84 00:07:26.879 --> 00:07:32.240 you create meaning from this identity. Now here's the beautiful thing. Open up 85 00:07:32.279 --> 00:07:36.879 those ears, Open up those eyes, Open up that heart, open up 86 00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:41.160 that chest. Howabouts, let's open up that heart center. Shall we? 87 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:46.199 Yes? We shall. You don't have to live in that past experience any 88 00:07:46.279 --> 00:07:49.839 longer. If you stepped into a puddle, I would say, baby girl, 89 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:54.040 take that other foot and get out of that puddle. Okay, you 90 00:07:54.360 --> 00:07:59.600 don't have to live from that past identity. Just because you learned an identity 91 00:07:59.639 --> 00:08:01.680 doesn't mean and you have to continuously take it into your present and your future. 92 00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:09.160 Uh huh. No, you get through every present moment you get a 93 00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:15.879 new invitation to decide who you wish to be. You get a new invitation 94 00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:22.279 to decide to respond according to a new identity. Realistically, you can be 95 00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:24.480 the saint, you can be the sinner. You can be kind, you 96 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:26.639 can be rude, you can be high vibe, you can be low vibe. 97 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:33.080 There are an unlimited amount of different energies that exist within your vessel that 98 00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:37.120 are available to you at all times. You get to choose. You get 99 00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:41.840 to pick and choose who and how you wish to be in every given moment. 100 00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:48.000 Your power is in your present moment. You don't have to feel like 101 00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:52.000 this anymore. But if you stay in the identity of the good girl, 102 00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:56.840 the quiet girl, the people pleaser, well, every identity causes these biochemical 103 00:08:56.919 --> 00:09:00.840 reactions in our body. It causes us to create me from our past, 104 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:07.120 rather than seeing reality for what it truly is. For so long, I 105 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:11.720 would create meaning on autopilot. I would create meaning from the people pleasing quiet 106 00:09:11.799 --> 00:09:18.120 girl. And therefore, if my ex partners were looking at another woman, 107 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:20.759 I would say to myself, Hugh, that woman is more beautiful than me. 108 00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:26.559 She's better than me. If I saw my partner literally doing it could 109 00:09:26.600 --> 00:09:31.799 be a range of different things. I would think, Ugh, that girl 110 00:09:31.960 --> 00:09:35.519 has this and I don't. They're better than me, they're smarter than me, 111 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:39.840 they're more beautiful than me. I can't give my partner with these other 112 00:09:39.919 --> 00:09:43.000 people can give them. That was the meaning I created. Do you know 113 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:48.639 how that made me feel? Like? Shitaha? Not great, pretty bad. 114 00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:52.159 Don't recommend it at all. Don't recommend it at all. It wasn't 115 00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:56.159 fun. It wasn't fun for me. It's probably not fun for you either. 116 00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:00.679 I was really good at creating the meaning of I'm not good because that 117 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:03.960 is what I practiced my whole entire life. When I was in elementary school 118 00:10:05.559 --> 00:10:09.480 and someone else got picked for volleyball first, the first meaning I told myself 119 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:11.000 is, well, that's because I'm not good enough. When I was at 120 00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:13.480 a party and someone went up to my friend and not me, the first 121 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:16.879 thought I had, well, that's because I'm not good enough. I'm not 122 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:20.399 pretty enough. When I went out and someone else was getting attention and I 123 00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:24.600 wasn't, I would tell myself, well, that's because they're so much more 124 00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:28.200 beautiful than I can ever be. I was so quick. I was living 125 00:10:28.279 --> 00:10:33.120 on autopilot. I was living through the guys, the role of being the 126 00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:37.440 good girl, being the quiet girl. That I lived in accordance with these 127 00:10:37.559 --> 00:10:43.320 past meanings, rather than actually just deciding how I wanted to show up and 128 00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:48.919 deciding how I could create meaning in a more empowering way. At the end 129 00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:52.759 of the day, you have two options. Really, you can create empowering 130 00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:56.600 meanings around your reality. This is not my breakdown, it's my breakthrough. 131 00:10:56.639 --> 00:11:01.240 It's not the step back. It's a setup. Everything has to be cleared 132 00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:03.559 so I can invite in new energy, new people, new opportunity. Oh 133 00:11:05.720 --> 00:11:09.720 here's the other option. Pick your adventure. You can decide nothing ever works 134 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:13.240 out for me, life sucks. Everyone's better than me. And you can 135 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:18.159 create disempowering meaning. What would be the point of that? I have no 136 00:11:18.360 --> 00:11:20.240 idea. If you can figure it out, let me know, let me 137 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:24.559 know. There is no point in creating a disempowering meaning, because number one, 138 00:11:26.039 --> 00:11:30.440 you actually don't know how this circumstance is going to unfold. You don't 139 00:11:30.480 --> 00:11:35.360 know how all the dots are going to connect. You really don't know much, 140 00:11:35.639 --> 00:11:37.720 and either to I, because we're just mere humans in this present moment. 141 00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:41.679 You really don't know if this is actually gonna work out for you, 142 00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:46.600 even though it might not feel great in the moment. So number one, 143 00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:50.200 you're lying to yourself, and you're lying to yourself in a negative lens number 144 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:54.120 two. What does this do? It makes you feel terrible? And for 145 00:11:54.799 --> 00:12:01.360 what? For what? I used to take a test and I was in 146 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:05.720 every ap class you can think of in high school, and the tests were 147 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:11.240 difficult, And after a test I would say to myself, I failed. 148 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:13.759 I did so bad. I didn't know any of the answers. I would 149 00:12:13.799 --> 00:12:18.720 throw myself in a loop, telling myself all these negative meanings, how I 150 00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:20.080 did so terrible, And then I would get the test back and turned out 151 00:12:20.120 --> 00:12:26.200 I got a ninety. There is no point in telling yourself how terrible the 152 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:28.519 interview went, how terrible the date went, how terrible the test went. 153 00:12:28.759 --> 00:12:35.480 When you actually don't know, let the dust settle, take a deep breath, 154 00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:41.960 stop fighting everything, and invite yourself to flow. Invite yourself to actually 155 00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:48.159 live life instead of trying to constantly give meaning to every moment of your life. 156 00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:50.600 If you're not sure how something is going to affect you, instead of 157 00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:54.000 giving it a disempowering meaning, what if you just chilled out and said, 158 00:12:54.080 --> 00:12:56.399 you know what, I don't know how this is going to unfold, but 159 00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:01.600 I'm gonna hope for the best anyway, I, for the longest time, 160 00:13:01.679 --> 00:13:07.240 would give the worst meaning to my ex partners to circumstance, and I would 161 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:11.080 tell myself, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, and this is 162 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:16.639 why this is happening, And it would lead me to feel so insecure about 163 00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:20.639 myself, about my body, about my relationship, about my overall reality. 164 00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:33.000 And then I realized I was lying to myself. I started practicing something different, 165 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:37.919 because anything we practice, we get good at. I started practicing cultivating 166 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:46.320 confidence. I started practicing assigning new meaning. I started practicing creating myself in 167 00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:50.840 the present moment, rather than repeatedly going back to an identity I literally didn't 168 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:56.919 even want to be in anymore. I started doing the work, the energy 169 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:01.200 work, the physical work, the mind work, and I started to feed 170 00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:07.240 myself with energy instead of depleting myself with negative, disempowering meaning. So, 171 00:14:07.399 --> 00:14:11.360 if you're currently telling yourself all the time, I'm not good enough, if 172 00:14:11.399 --> 00:14:16.039 you constantly feel inferior, what that tells me is okay, we got to 173 00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:20.279 work a little bit, not only on your mindset, but on your confidence. 174 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:24.279 Now, this brings me to page one thirty five in my book. 175 00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:26.960 Again. If you've not gotten your copy of Show upbout Her just yet, 176 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:31.720 be sure to get your copies so you can follow along with us. This 177 00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:37.080 is an amazing way to build confidence. Find a strain that serves you. 178 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:41.200 A strain is something that is somewhat difficult for you to do but possible. 179 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:46.399 Cardia is a strain for me, and that's why I lovingly encourage myself to 180 00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:50.639 do it weekly. I used to think I couldn't run that far, but 181 00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:54.440 after deciding to do it anyway, I prove to myself how powerful I am. 182 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.799 Engaging in this activity weekly has made me more confident in other things as 183 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:01.039 well. Now, so when someone says I cannot do something, or there's 184 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:05.559 something I've never done before, I know, if I can run three miles, 185 00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:09.879 I can do this too. Realizing how powerful I was also allowed me 186 00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:13.720 to place less importance on my looks. It made me understand that if my 187 00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:16.159 clear skin is the best thing about me, maybe I need to get some 188 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:20.039 damn hobbies. I wanted my skin to be clear, but it's also the 189 00:15:20.120 --> 00:15:24.720 least interesting thing about me. I am more than my skin. I'm more 190 00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:26.279 than my looks. I am a goddess and I should feel like one. 191 00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:31.600 Two. To find a strain that serves you. Find something that is difficult 192 00:15:31.799 --> 00:15:35.279 but doable, and start implementing it into your weekly schedule. This will build 193 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:39.840 on your self confidence, which will help you build self love. Some example 194 00:15:39.960 --> 00:15:45.600 of strains that can serve you include, but are not limited to, reading, 195 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:50.840 writing, meditating, learning a new skill, working out, pushing yourself 196 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:56.399 outside of your comfort zone. Right now, you might feel insecure. You 197 00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:00.720 might feel like you're not good enough, So that mean, okay, we 198 00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:03.720 have to build up our confidence muscle. How do you build up your confidence 199 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:11.120 muscle? Find something that is something that is difficult but doable and start doing 200 00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:15.480 it weakly. Do you know how proud of myself I am After I do 201 00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:18.799 some cardio, after I do the peloton, I'm like, damn, I 202 00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:22.320 didn't feel like doing it. It was difficult, but I feel so good 203 00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:26.000 about myself that, when in doubt, I did it anyway, and I 204 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:30.960 prove to myself that I am capable of doing hard things. I am capable 205 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:34.960 of putting myself first. I am capable of spending some time and energy on 206 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:41.200 myself. I am capable of really building myself up to be the person that 207 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:47.639 I want to be. You are your greatest artistic creation during this incarnation. 208 00:16:48.759 --> 00:16:55.000 It's you This life is about you building you. When you find a strain 209 00:16:55.080 --> 00:17:00.240 that serves you and you're doing it weekly, Daly, maybe you are owing 210 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:04.720 yourself regardless of how other people see me. I see my own power regardless 211 00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:08.440 of how other people treat me. I'm gonna treat myself well. I'm gonna 212 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:15.400 carve out time of my busy schedule, and I'm gonna give to my self. 213 00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:21.519 You have to start building up your confidence muscles. As you are cultivating 214 00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:26.559 yourself your mind, body, and spirit. You're creating not disempowering meanings, 215 00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:30.400 but empowering meanings. You're working on claiming your present moment, not being on 216 00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:34.279 autopilot. You're working with a strain that serves you. There's gonna be this 217 00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:41.039 little baby voice that starts to happen from within, and this little voice is 218 00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:45.119 gonna grow more powerful and powerful and powerful. And what this voice is gonna 219 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:48.440 say to you is, listen, bitch, what are you doing? You 220 00:17:48.599 --> 00:17:52.480 are treating yourself with the utmost respect, love. You're giving yourself time. 221 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:59.880 Why are you gonna waste your time with some rusty dusty over there who does 222 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:03.200 and have the capacity to fulfill you or hold your energy? And this voice 223 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:07.480 might be a little twinkle twinkle at first, but eventually, over time, 224 00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:12.279 I can assure you this voice will get louder and louder and louder until it's 225 00:18:12.359 --> 00:18:19.160 screaming in your face, saying, get away from this little specimen who can't 226 00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:22.680 give you what you want, who cannot give you what you need, and 227 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:27.839 ultimately is going to just waste your time. Get away from them. But 228 00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:33.720 in order for that intuitive spiritual download to hit, you have to start working 229 00:18:33.799 --> 00:18:37.279 with that strain that serves you. Have to start cultivating your confidence. Now 230 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:41.359 I understand, and you understand why certain people are the way they are, 231 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:45.400 But that doesn't mean that we are their rehabilitation center. It doesn't mean we 232 00:18:45.480 --> 00:18:48.240 have to fix them. It doesn't mean that we have to do all of 233 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:55.200 these different things. No. No, everyone is responsible for their own energy 234 00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:59.079 in the same way that you're responsible for your fun and your happiness. So 235 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:04.319 is that other person. Now, this is how I see it. I 236 00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:10.319 don't take things personal. I take them vibrational. If you cannot meet me 237 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:15.839 where I'm at, baby, it's all right, it's okay. But I 238 00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:18.160 am going to read the writing on the wall and I'm not going to try 239 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:22.599 to change you, but I will change my proximity to you, and I 240 00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:26.920 will place you accordingly, right outside of my life. The way I see 241 00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:32.160 it is Jesus, Jesus died for me. What are you doing? What 242 00:19:32.279 --> 00:19:33.960 are you doing? Oh? You can't text me back, you can't call 243 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:38.240 me, you can't set up the date. I already had a man die 244 00:19:38.359 --> 00:19:44.880 for me. If you can't come anywhere close to that, then I am 245 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:48.839 really just not that interested. I'm sorry, you're boring. I'm not into 246 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:52.960 it. What do you want from me? What do you want from me? 247 00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:59.160 I always tell you see Jesus as your husband, see God as your 248 00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:03.599 husband, because this will help you raise your standard. I want the gold 249 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:08.359 standard. I know what energy I broadcast, I know what I bring into 250 00:20:08.559 --> 00:20:14.000 this world. If you're not bringing anything, and in fact, you're just 251 00:20:14.119 --> 00:20:18.839 depleting me, oh I gotta go. I gotta go. When someone is 252 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:25.160 to disrespect me or just not rise to the level I'm at, I don't 253 00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:26.559 take it personal. I don't get mad at them, I don't chase them. 254 00:20:26.599 --> 00:20:30.400 I don't take it as an invitation to prove my worth. I see 255 00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:37.480 it as a turn off. That's it, that's it. I think it's 256 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:41.799 important to say when you're dating and maybe they don't text you back, or 257 00:20:42.680 --> 00:20:48.599 maybe they didn't call you that morning. Please give people leeway to be a 258 00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.480 real human being. Don't take everything as an insult or everything personal. People 259 00:20:52.599 --> 00:20:56.480 do live lives, you know, and they're not always going to be one 260 00:20:56.559 --> 00:20:59.799 hundred percent perfect. If you're looking for perfect, don't look for a partner 261 00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:03.920 gay because people are people. I'm not perfect, You're not perfect. Nobody's 262 00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:07.640 perfect. But let's say now there's a pattern of them not calling you, 263 00:21:07.799 --> 00:21:10.759 or a pattern of them reaching out. That's when we want to read the 264 00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:15.559 writing on the wall and act accordingly. And what does that mean. It 265 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:21.799 means changing our proximity to them, not trying to change them. We've talked 266 00:21:21.799 --> 00:21:25.359 about this before, but I feel like I can't do this episode without bringing 267 00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:30.240 up the capable cat principle page one sixty five in the book The Capable Cat 268 00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:33.599 Principle will help you understand your own motivation for chasing. Have you ever asked 269 00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:37.119 a cat to bark? Probably not, because you know they are not capable 270 00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:40.880 of it. If I told you I asked a cat to bark, but 271 00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:44.319 it wouldn't bark, you would tell me the cat didn't bark because it's not 272 00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:48.480 capable of barking. If I then told you I needed this cat to bark 273 00:21:48.519 --> 00:21:51.880 for me to feel worthy, validated, and loved, you would ask me, 274 00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:53.880 why do you need that cat to bark for you to feel worthy, 275 00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:59.839 validated, and loved? You would tell me the cat's capabilities have nothing to 276 00:21:59.880 --> 00:22:03.160 do with your worth. Why are you placing your happiness in this cat's hands? 277 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.119 Now, let me ask you. Have you ever repeatedly asked, even 278 00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:11.759 begged someone for better communication, for them to stop cheating on you or respect 279 00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:18.359 you. Chances are probably see where I'm going with this. If you had 280 00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:25.319 repeatedly made your needs clear and they have not listened or been able to meet 281 00:22:25.400 --> 00:22:27.880 those needs, it's not because you're unworthy. It is because they are not 282 00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:33.279 capable. The capable cat principal states if a cat was capable of barking, 283 00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:37.039 it would If they were capable of giving you what you want and need, 284 00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:41.720 they would. This says nothing to do with your value as a human, 285 00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:45.880 but with their own inability. Spiraling about why they cannot show up for you 286 00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:51.559 leads you into your wounded masculine and right off the cliff of your pedestal We 287 00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:56.079 must stop telling ourselves that we are worthless and unlovable because other people aren't capable 288 00:22:56.160 --> 00:23:02.079 of meeting our needs, embodying our divine feminees that we know we are inherently 289 00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:07.519 worthy, regardless of others' ability to see our value. Instead of asking ourselves 290 00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:12.440 why we aren't good enough, we must flip the script. Your new practice 291 00:23:12.680 --> 00:23:17.519 is going to be interrupting the thought of I'm not good enough, I'm not 292 00:23:17.559 --> 00:23:19.839 pretty enough, I'm not worthy, and you're instead gonna say, actually, 293 00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:26.039 no, that's a turn off, that's low vibrational behavior. I'm not into 294 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:32.119 that. And oftentimes it's not that you're not good enough, it's actually, 295 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:37.119 they're not enough for you. You're the one asking for more communication, better 296 00:23:37.319 --> 00:23:41.279 consistency, You're the one asking for more quality, time, for better treatment. 297 00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:45.079 It's not you that's not good enough for them. It's them that's not 298 00:23:45.319 --> 00:23:48.279 enough for you. Do you see how we get that so confused? In 299 00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:52.720 our own our logical pathways and in our brain. Do you see what I'm 300 00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:59.279 saying? You have to consistently and repeatedly, Because how do we get good 301 00:23:59.319 --> 00:24:03.920 at anything? We have practice it through consistency and repeating the action every time 302 00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:07.640 you want to tell yourself and you want to go back into autopilot and say 303 00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:08.759 I'm not good enough, you have to say no, no, no, 304 00:24:08.880 --> 00:24:12.559 no, no, no, that's not the story I'm telling myself anymore. 305 00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:19.200 What's closer to the truth is that that's actually a turn off. That's actually 306 00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:22.640 not the type of person I want to be in this world with. I 307 00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:26.759 always think about when you have kids, you're building a household, you're building 308 00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:30.480 a life with your life partner. I mean, do you really want to 309 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:34.240 be worried about them following all these random girls on Instagram? Do you really 310 00:24:34.359 --> 00:24:40.759 want to be worried about them having low levels of consistency and communication? I 311 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:45.680 personally don't. It sounds like a huge headache. If you're not pursuing me, 312 00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:51.759 that's enough information for me. I'm turned off immediately because I know myself. 313 00:24:51.799 --> 00:24:53.839 I built myself up, I know who I am. If you're not 314 00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:57.400 pursuing me, I think, well, that sucks for you. If they're 315 00:24:57.480 --> 00:25:03.519 not courting you and you have confusion, that's all the data you need to 316 00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:10.319 know to place them accordingly outside of your life. It's not that hard. 317 00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:15.000 It's actually really really simple. It doesn't always feel great and we like people 318 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:18.680 sometimes and we get let down by them and we thought it could work and 319 00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:22.599 it doesn't. Hey, that's the name of the game. That's what we 320 00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:26.039 signed up for. We signed up for a journey. It's not linear. 321 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:30.279 It's crazy out here, but this is what we signed up for. This 322 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:34.680 is what we came here to do. All the experiences that you're having, 323 00:25:36.359 --> 00:25:42.279 our invitations to energetically upgrade. What are you learning? What are you perceiving? 324 00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:48.079 How are you becoming better? Any time I go through an experience that 325 00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:51.079 is tough, I like to reflect on it and say, Okay, what 326 00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:53.799 are the empowering meanings? What did I learn? How did I get better? 327 00:25:56.759 --> 00:26:00.119 And that will help you graduate into the next season, that will help 328 00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:06.640 you move into your next loving relationship. It's true if it's not them, 329 00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:10.119 that it's someone better, and if they are truly yours, they will come 330 00:26:10.200 --> 00:26:14.400 back around. And if they don't, be oh so thankful that you are 331 00:26:14.440 --> 00:26:22.960 going to be gifted a better vibrational match. Consistently, repeatedly remind yourself of 332 00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:26.640 who it is that you actually want as a partner, and when the person 333 00:26:26.759 --> 00:26:33.720 in front of you is not fulfilling that role, see them for who they 334 00:26:33.079 --> 00:26:37.680 are. I know, it's so easy for us to fill in the blanks 335 00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:42.880 of other people with our own fantasies. No see people for exactly who they 336 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:47.400 are. Sometimes it's scary to walk in the light of the truth. But 337 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:52.440 why would we lie to ourselves and get sucky results when we can see people 338 00:26:52.519 --> 00:26:55.960 for who they really are and either accept them or remove them. And if 339 00:26:55.960 --> 00:27:00.079 we are removing them, then we are gifted someone better. What's so y 340 00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:04.759 had about that? If you're too zoomed into your situation, you're too obsessive 341 00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:07.799 over the person that's in front of you, even though you're like, they're 342 00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:11.240 really not good for me, zoom out a little bit. Think about in 343 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:15.440 five years if you were going to marry this person. Think about the headache 344 00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:18.119 you might have with them. Think about them in the delivery room while you're 345 00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:22.400 pushing and screaming. What are they watching the Mets like? Hmm, that's 346 00:27:22.519 --> 00:27:27.200 not the vibe, you know what I'm saying. It is a turn off. 347 00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:30.960 And if you're trying to unattached from someone, get out a pen and 348 00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:34.839 paper and literally write down all the things that turn you off about them and 349 00:27:36.039 --> 00:27:41.039 read that list every single day so you can allow yourself to move forward and 350 00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:49.279 move on. Remember their actions, their capabilities is not reflective of your true 351 00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:53.160 worth. It might be reflective of what you think you deserve, but that's 352 00:27:53.240 --> 00:28:00.599 your own limiting belief. It's not reflective of your authentic worthy. And if 353 00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:07.279 they're reflecting low level of consistency of respect, that means you have to do 354 00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:10.839 some inner work, find a strain that serves you, and work on your 355 00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:15.039 confidence so you know, no, I deserve more, I am worthy of 356 00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:22.119 more. I'm gonna get more. This is really not about these other people. 357 00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:26.680 It's about you training yourself to see negative behavior as a turn off. 358 00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:30.160 It's about you training yourself to cultivate more confidence. And it's about you understanding 359 00:28:30.279 --> 00:28:37.200 that you didn't come here to just be disrespected. Like imagine that. Imagine 360 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:40.440 you came all the way down to planet Earth, incarnated in a body, 361 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:44.240 are going through all these trials and tribulations, and you did all that just 362 00:28:44.319 --> 00:28:48.160 to be disrespected. You know that doesn't make any sense. You know that. 363 00:28:49.119 --> 00:28:53.039 And when someone's treating you negatively and it feels bad, that is your 364 00:28:53.119 --> 00:29:00.039 emotional guidance system telling you their actions are not in alignment with you. The 365 00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:04.599 emotions are not monsters. They are messengers, and they're constantly trying to communicate 366 00:29:04.680 --> 00:29:11.440 with you about your external experience, your emotions, your navigation system telling you 367 00:29:11.559 --> 00:29:15.799 where to go and what to avoid. When your emotions are consistently telling you 368 00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:19.799 this person makes you feel terrible, you have to listen to that internal cue 369 00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:23.319 and say, you know what, my emotions are making me feel like this 370 00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:26.720 person is not in alignment with me anymore. Maybe I have to see what 371 00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:30.799 life is like without them. Maybe I might have some doubt, but I'm 372 00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:36.640 gonna do it anyway because I have a little suspicion that there is more out 373 00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:40.359 there for me, that I could be treated better in a relationship, in 374 00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:45.079 a god forbid, a situation ship. Don't even get me started on situationships. 375 00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:48.680 I've done podcasts about that. You know how I feel. They're an 376 00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:52.799 absolute no no. I want to leave you with this. Every day, 377 00:29:52.279 --> 00:29:57.480 you have the option of how you want to create meaning around your existence. 378 00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:02.759 You can create me that you're not good enough, or you can tell yourself, 379 00:30:02.839 --> 00:30:06.480 actually, I don't want a partner who's checking out other girls. That's 380 00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:10.759 gross. I don't want a partner that is liking all these pictures of half 381 00:30:10.839 --> 00:30:14.400 naked girls. That's yucky to me. I don't want a partner that can't 382 00:30:14.440 --> 00:30:18.440 communicate. All of these things are a turn off, And maybe you need 383 00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:22.799 to hear this because this is just coming through me right now. There are 384 00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:26.400 people out there that in the same way you're praying for them, they are 385 00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:30.440 praying to meet someone exactly like you. There are people out there who are 386 00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:40.799 wading, who are thinking of manifesting someone exactly like you in the same way 387 00:30:40.920 --> 00:30:45.079 that you want your dream partner. Your dream partner wants you, and you're 388 00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:51.240 delaying your progress towards this dream partner by keeping around people who are in a 389 00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:56.440 lower vibration. You're stagnating your growth. You're blocking your blessings. Every day, 390 00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:00.720 in the present moment, you have the option, do I want to 391 00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:03.799 accept this or do I want to receive more? Do I want to feel 392 00:31:03.880 --> 00:31:07.440 bad or do I want to feel good? Do I want to react from 393 00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:12.400 autopilot and create a disempowering meaning or do I want to create empowering meaning that's 394 00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:17.279 actually in alignment with my true, authentic soul. What do I want to 395 00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:21.519 do? Because it is up to me, you are already inherently worthy. 396 00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:26.440 What do you want to believe about yourself. You don't have to earn someone 397 00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:30.240 else's love. Your divine, feminine energy is the prize in itself. It 398 00:31:30.359 --> 00:31:36.839 is what hydrates this planet and the people of this planet. Your light, 399 00:31:37.319 --> 00:31:45.200 your authentic energy, your existence is so magnetic, so powerful. But if 400 00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:48.400 you keep around people who deny that beauty in you, it will be so 401 00:31:48.599 --> 00:31:52.400 hard for you to see it in yourself. So it's time to place others 402 00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:59.519 accordingly and take those beautiful eyes and refocus on yourself. Cultivate the confidence, 403 00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:06.079 cutivate empowering meaning, and interrupt any story you're telling yourself about not being good 404 00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:09.079 enough, and reminding yourself that actually, this is not my soulmate, this 405 00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:12.759 is a turn off. This is not what I want in another person. 406 00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:15.839 I don't do this to other people, to too on my clock, and 407 00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:19.039 I'm not going to accept it from others either. I love you so much. 408 00:32:19.079 --> 00:32:21.440 If you've not yet ordered show Up as Her, be sure to get 409 00:32:21.480 --> 00:32:23.519 that in the show notes, follow me on Instagram at Vibe with CC, 410 00:32:23.640 --> 00:32:28.359 and if you enjoyed this episode, please leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts 411 00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:30.160 and Spotify. If not for me, do it for you, because good 412 00:32:30.279 --> 00:33:01.200 karma and I will see you in the next one. Can kin sass me 413 00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:07.160 I can't sass me h.