And enogy, cancel so highsag cancelge honor, it's not sorry, andenogy.
What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing
this episode, then you were meant to be here. So keep listening on
that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times a baby girl,
We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered
positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this
podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly
who we came here to be. Today we were talking about probably one of
my favorite subjects ever, and that's how to not feel inferior, but to
get turned off. Because as magnetic women, when someone disrespects us, we
don't feel, oh, there's something wrong with me. I'm not good enough,
I'm not pretty enough, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not smart enough.
We don't feel inferior because of someone else's low level of projection. We
get turned off. We read the writing on the wall and place people accordingly,
because we are not the rehabilitation center for other people. No, we
are not. We came to planet Earth to enjoy this incarnation, to enjoy
our own energy, to enjoy learning, developing, and growing as a soul.
Now didn't we? Yes, we did. So. Many of us
are wasting our damn time feeling less than feeling inferior. We're letting the lower
vibrational entities of this world's win because we're believing it's lies. As a positive
bitch, which is a magnetic woman. We know this, yes we do.
We don't let these lower vibrational entities win our mind. We do not
drift with the devil. We clearly, consciously, with our free will,
choose what we believe, that which is in accordance with our highest good,
that which is in accordance with our divine plan. And we live in our
truth, knowing that someone else's limitation has nothing to do with us. And
instead of trying to convince people to stay in our life, instead of trying
to convince people that we are good, instead of trying to convince people of
literally anything, we do not seek to prove ourselves worthy. We remember our
worth. We do not beg people to love us. What we do is
see people for who they are, respond accordingly, and we don't feel inferior.
We get turned off Yes, that is exactly what we're going to be
talking about today. How to get out of this lack mindset of I'm not
good enough and enter into an abundance mindset of I'm actually turned off and there's
someone much better for my soul. Yeah, because do I need to remind
you that your soulmate is not the person who's leaving you on red. It's
not the person who's disrespecting you. It's not the person who's causing you to
have massive anxiety every day of your life. That person who's doing that to
you, that's not an invitation for you to prove your worth. It's an
invitation to remove them from your reality. Your power does not lie in trying
to change or fix other people. It lies in your ability to shift your
proximity to that said person. Before we get into it, a couple of
announcements. If you have not yet ordered your copy of Show Up as Her,
my new book, which is ten Loss for Reclaiming your Power, embodying
magnetic energy and positive manifestation, be sure to get your copy. The link
will be in the show notes. If you are not yet following me on
Instagram at VIBEWCC and at that Bitch is Positive. Be sure to follow me
on both of those pages so you can stay up to date on this podcast
and all things Magnetic Energy. And if you're looking for more intimate guidance,
I am a certified life and energy coach and I do offer one on one
sessions via zoom. You can DM me on Instagram at Vibe with CC to
learn more about how I can help you along your most beautiful journey. But
without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Now. When you're dating,
there are going to be many moments where you get to create meaning around
your life. We don't live life, We live through the meaning that we
give to our life. This is why there's multiple eyewitnesses. We are not
perceiving reality as reality. We are perceiving reality through the lens of our own
past experiences. Whatever meaning we have practiced giving to our reality is the meaning
we are really good at assigning. If you are constantly feeling like you're not
good enough, you are not meeting the mark you are less worthy than your
peers, it's because you got really good at creating and assigning that meaning in
your reality. Why do you feel inferior? Why do you feel maybe not
good enough. I need you to understand that you have essentially been groomed to
feel inferior. Strong language, but this is a truth. You have been
groomed to feel not good enough. You have been groomed to live in a
reality where you never feel like you're giving enough. You have been groomed to
be a people pleaser, to be a martyr, to put other people ahead
of you, and to suffer. That's the programming you've received. Whether that
is what your caregivers consciously try to impart on you, or whether you deduce
that meaning from your reality as a child, it doesn't matter either way.
That is how you think you must be in order to survive and get love
and connection from your reality. But that is just a meaning you created.
It is not your truth. It is not your truth. You were born
this magnetic, authentic energy you learned in identity in order to survive and get
the attention of your caregivers. If you still constantly feel like you are not
good enough, it's because you're living under the guys. The role, the
identity of that people pleasing martyr, of the good girl, the quiet girl
who has to put herself last. You learned at an early age, that
your worth is a result of what you can do for others, that your
value is a result of what you can do for others. You learned that
you will only be accepted and loved when you live in accordance with others.
So if you're wondering why you still in every relationship and every job never feel
good enough, it's because you have consumed and became this identity, and therefore
you create meaning from this identity. Now here's the beautiful thing. Open up
those ears, Open up those eyes, Open up that heart, open up
that chest. Howabouts, let's open up that heart center. Shall we?
Yes? We shall. You don't have to live in that past experience any
longer. If you stepped into a puddle, I would say, baby girl,
take that other foot and get out of that puddle. Okay, you
don't have to live from that past identity. Just because you learned an identity
doesn't mean and you have to continuously take it into your present and your future.
Uh huh. No, you get through every present moment you get a
new invitation to decide who you wish to be. You get a new invitation
to decide to respond according to a new identity. Realistically, you can be
the saint, you can be the sinner. You can be kind, you
can be rude, you can be high vibe, you can be low vibe.
There are an unlimited amount of different energies that exist within your vessel that
are available to you at all times. You get to choose. You get
to pick and choose who and how you wish to be in every given moment.
Your power is in your present moment. You don't have to feel like
this anymore. But if you stay in the identity of the good girl,
the quiet girl, the people pleaser, well, every identity causes these biochemical
reactions in our body. It causes us to create me from our past,
rather than seeing reality for what it truly is. For so long, I
would create meaning on autopilot. I would create meaning from the people pleasing quiet
girl. And therefore, if my ex partners were looking at another woman,
I would say to myself, Hugh, that woman is more beautiful than me.
She's better than me. If I saw my partner literally doing it could
be a range of different things. I would think, Ugh, that girl
has this and I don't. They're better than me, they're smarter than me,
they're more beautiful than me. I can't give my partner with these other
people can give them. That was the meaning I created. Do you know
how that made me feel? Like? Shitaha? Not great, pretty bad.
Don't recommend it at all. Don't recommend it at all. It wasn't
fun. It wasn't fun for me. It's probably not fun for you either.
I was really good at creating the meaning of I'm not good because that
is what I practiced my whole entire life. When I was in elementary school
and someone else got picked for volleyball first, the first meaning I told myself
is, well, that's because I'm not good enough. When I was at
a party and someone went up to my friend and not me, the first
thought I had, well, that's because I'm not good enough. I'm not
pretty enough. When I went out and someone else was getting attention and I
wasn't, I would tell myself, well, that's because they're so much more
beautiful than I can ever be. I was so quick. I was living
on autopilot. I was living through the guys, the role of being the
good girl, being the quiet girl. That I lived in accordance with these
past meanings, rather than actually just deciding how I wanted to show up and
deciding how I could create meaning in a more empowering way. At the end
of the day, you have two options. Really, you can create empowering
meanings around your reality. This is not my breakdown, it's my breakthrough.
It's not the step back. It's a setup. Everything has to be cleared
so I can invite in new energy, new people, new opportunity. Oh
here's the other option. Pick your adventure. You can decide nothing ever works
out for me, life sucks. Everyone's better than me. And you can
create disempowering meaning. What would be the point of that? I have no
idea. If you can figure it out, let me know, let me
know. There is no point in creating a disempowering meaning, because number one,
you actually don't know how this circumstance is going to unfold. You don't
know how all the dots are going to connect. You really don't know much,
and either to I, because we're just mere humans in this present moment.
You really don't know if this is actually gonna work out for you,
even though it might not feel great in the moment. So number one,
you're lying to yourself, and you're lying to yourself in a negative lens number
two. What does this do? It makes you feel terrible? And for
what? For what? I used to take a test and I was in
every ap class you can think of in high school, and the tests were
difficult, And after a test I would say to myself, I failed.
I did so bad. I didn't know any of the answers. I would
throw myself in a loop, telling myself all these negative meanings, how I
did so terrible, And then I would get the test back and turned out
I got a ninety. There is no point in telling yourself how terrible the
interview went, how terrible the date went, how terrible the test went.
When you actually don't know, let the dust settle, take a deep breath,
stop fighting everything, and invite yourself to flow. Invite yourself to actually
live life instead of trying to constantly give meaning to every moment of your life.
If you're not sure how something is going to affect you, instead of
giving it a disempowering meaning, what if you just chilled out and said,
you know what, I don't know how this is going to unfold, but
I'm gonna hope for the best anyway, I, for the longest time,
would give the worst meaning to my ex partners to circumstance, and I would
tell myself, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, and this is
why this is happening, And it would lead me to feel so insecure about
myself, about my body, about my relationship, about my overall reality.
And then I realized I was lying to myself. I started practicing something different,
because anything we practice, we get good at. I started practicing cultivating
confidence. I started practicing assigning new meaning. I started practicing creating myself in
the present moment, rather than repeatedly going back to an identity I literally didn't
even want to be in anymore. I started doing the work, the energy
work, the physical work, the mind work, and I started to feed
myself with energy instead of depleting myself with negative, disempowering meaning. So,
if you're currently telling yourself all the time, I'm not good enough, if
you constantly feel inferior, what that tells me is okay, we got to
work a little bit, not only on your mindset, but on your confidence.
Now, this brings me to page one thirty five in my book.
Again. If you've not gotten your copy of Show upbout Her just yet,
be sure to get your copies so you can follow along with us. This
is an amazing way to build confidence. Find a strain that serves you.
A strain is something that is somewhat difficult for you to do but possible.
Cardia is a strain for me, and that's why I lovingly encourage myself to
do it weekly. I used to think I couldn't run that far, but
after deciding to do it anyway, I prove to myself how powerful I am.
Engaging in this activity weekly has made me more confident in other things as
well. Now, so when someone says I cannot do something, or there's
something I've never done before, I know, if I can run three miles,
I can do this too. Realizing how powerful I was also allowed me
to place less importance on my looks. It made me understand that if my
clear skin is the best thing about me, maybe I need to get some
damn hobbies. I wanted my skin to be clear, but it's also the
least interesting thing about me. I am more than my skin. I'm more
than my looks. I am a goddess and I should feel like one.
Two. To find a strain that serves you. Find something that is difficult
but doable, and start implementing it into your weekly schedule. This will build
on your self confidence, which will help you build self love. Some example
of strains that can serve you include, but are not limited to, reading,
writing, meditating, learning a new skill, working out, pushing yourself
outside of your comfort zone. Right now, you might feel insecure. You
might feel like you're not good enough, So that mean, okay, we
have to build up our confidence muscle. How do you build up your confidence
muscle? Find something that is something that is difficult but doable and start doing
it weakly. Do you know how proud of myself I am After I do
some cardio, after I do the peloton, I'm like, damn, I
didn't feel like doing it. It was difficult, but I feel so good
about myself that, when in doubt, I did it anyway, and I
prove to myself that I am capable of doing hard things. I am capable
of putting myself first. I am capable of spending some time and energy on
myself. I am capable of really building myself up to be the person that
I want to be. You are your greatest artistic creation during this incarnation.
It's you This life is about you building you. When you find a strain
that serves you and you're doing it weekly, Daly, maybe you are owing
yourself regardless of how other people see me. I see my own power regardless
of how other people treat me. I'm gonna treat myself well. I'm gonna
carve out time of my busy schedule, and I'm gonna give to my self.
You have to start building up your confidence muscles. As you are cultivating
yourself your mind, body, and spirit. You're creating not disempowering meanings,
but empowering meanings. You're working on claiming your present moment, not being on
autopilot. You're working with a strain that serves you. There's gonna be this
little baby voice that starts to happen from within, and this little voice is
gonna grow more powerful and powerful and powerful. And what this voice is gonna
say to you is, listen, bitch, what are you doing? You
are treating yourself with the utmost respect, love. You're giving yourself time.
Why are you gonna waste your time with some rusty dusty over there who does
and have the capacity to fulfill you or hold your energy? And this voice
might be a little twinkle twinkle at first, but eventually, over time,
I can assure you this voice will get louder and louder and louder until it's
screaming in your face, saying, get away from this little specimen who can't
give you what you want, who cannot give you what you need, and
ultimately is going to just waste your time. Get away from them. But
in order for that intuitive spiritual download to hit, you have to start working
with that strain that serves you. Have to start cultivating your confidence. Now
I understand, and you understand why certain people are the way they are,
But that doesn't mean that we are their rehabilitation center. It doesn't mean we
have to fix them. It doesn't mean that we have to do all of
these different things. No. No, everyone is responsible for their own energy
in the same way that you're responsible for your fun and your happiness. So
is that other person. Now, this is how I see it. I
don't take things personal. I take them vibrational. If you cannot meet me
where I'm at, baby, it's all right, it's okay. But I
am going to read the writing on the wall and I'm not going to try
to change you, but I will change my proximity to you, and I
will place you accordingly, right outside of my life. The way I see
it is Jesus, Jesus died for me. What are you doing? What
are you doing? Oh? You can't text me back, you can't call
me, you can't set up the date. I already had a man die
for me. If you can't come anywhere close to that, then I am
really just not that interested. I'm sorry, you're boring. I'm not into
it. What do you want from me? What do you want from me?
I always tell you see Jesus as your husband, see God as your
husband, because this will help you raise your standard. I want the gold
standard. I know what energy I broadcast, I know what I bring into
this world. If you're not bringing anything, and in fact, you're just
depleting me, oh I gotta go. I gotta go. When someone is
to disrespect me or just not rise to the level I'm at, I don't
take it personal. I don't get mad at them, I don't chase them.
I don't take it as an invitation to prove my worth. I see
it as a turn off. That's it, that's it. I think it's
important to say when you're dating and maybe they don't text you back, or
maybe they didn't call you that morning. Please give people leeway to be a
real human being. Don't take everything as an insult or everything personal. People
do live lives, you know, and they're not always going to be one
hundred percent perfect. If you're looking for perfect, don't look for a partner
gay because people are people. I'm not perfect, You're not perfect. Nobody's
perfect. But let's say now there's a pattern of them not calling you,
or a pattern of them reaching out. That's when we want to read the
writing on the wall and act accordingly. And what does that mean. It
means changing our proximity to them, not trying to change them. We've talked
about this before, but I feel like I can't do this episode without bringing
up the capable cat principle page one sixty five in the book The Capable Cat
Principle will help you understand your own motivation for chasing. Have you ever asked
a cat to bark? Probably not, because you know they are not capable
of it. If I told you I asked a cat to bark, but
it wouldn't bark, you would tell me the cat didn't bark because it's not
capable of barking. If I then told you I needed this cat to bark
for me to feel worthy, validated, and loved, you would ask me,
why do you need that cat to bark for you to feel worthy,
validated, and loved? You would tell me the cat's capabilities have nothing to
do with your worth. Why are you placing your happiness in this cat's hands?
Now, let me ask you. Have you ever repeatedly asked, even
begged someone for better communication, for them to stop cheating on you or respect
you. Chances are probably see where I'm going with this. If you had
repeatedly made your needs clear and they have not listened or been able to meet
those needs, it's not because you're unworthy. It is because they are not
capable. The capable cat principal states if a cat was capable of barking,
it would If they were capable of giving you what you want and need,
they would. This says nothing to do with your value as a human,
but with their own inability. Spiraling about why they cannot show up for you
leads you into your wounded masculine and right off the cliff of your pedestal We
must stop telling ourselves that we are worthless and unlovable because other people aren't capable
of meeting our needs, embodying our divine feminees that we know we are inherently
worthy, regardless of others' ability to see our value. Instead of asking ourselves
why we aren't good enough, we must flip the script. Your new practice
is going to be interrupting the thought of I'm not good enough, I'm not
pretty enough, I'm not worthy, and you're instead gonna say, actually,
no, that's a turn off, that's low vibrational behavior. I'm not into
that. And oftentimes it's not that you're not good enough, it's actually,
they're not enough for you. You're the one asking for more communication, better
consistency, You're the one asking for more quality, time, for better treatment.
It's not you that's not good enough for them. It's them that's not
enough for you. Do you see how we get that so confused? In
our own our logical pathways and in our brain. Do you see what I'm
saying? You have to consistently and repeatedly, Because how do we get good
at anything? We have practice it through consistency and repeating the action every time
you want to tell yourself and you want to go back into autopilot and say
I'm not good enough, you have to say no, no, no,
no, no, no, that's not the story I'm telling myself anymore.
What's closer to the truth is that that's actually a turn off. That's actually
not the type of person I want to be in this world with. I
always think about when you have kids, you're building a household, you're building
a life with your life partner. I mean, do you really want to
be worried about them following all these random girls on Instagram? Do you really
want to be worried about them having low levels of consistency and communication? I
personally don't. It sounds like a huge headache. If you're not pursuing me,
that's enough information for me. I'm turned off immediately because I know myself.
I built myself up, I know who I am. If you're not
pursuing me, I think, well, that sucks for you. If they're
not courting you and you have confusion, that's all the data you need to
know to place them accordingly outside of your life. It's not that hard.
It's actually really really simple. It doesn't always feel great and we like people
sometimes and we get let down by them and we thought it could work and
it doesn't. Hey, that's the name of the game. That's what we
signed up for. We signed up for a journey. It's not linear.
It's crazy out here, but this is what we signed up for. This
is what we came here to do. All the experiences that you're having,
our invitations to energetically upgrade. What are you learning? What are you perceiving?
How are you becoming better? Any time I go through an experience that
is tough, I like to reflect on it and say, Okay, what
are the empowering meanings? What did I learn? How did I get better?
And that will help you graduate into the next season, that will help
you move into your next loving relationship. It's true if it's not them,
that it's someone better, and if they are truly yours, they will come
back around. And if they don't, be oh so thankful that you are
going to be gifted a better vibrational match. Consistently, repeatedly remind yourself of
who it is that you actually want as a partner, and when the person
in front of you is not fulfilling that role, see them for who they
are. I know, it's so easy for us to fill in the blanks
of other people with our own fantasies. No see people for exactly who they
are. Sometimes it's scary to walk in the light of the truth. But
why would we lie to ourselves and get sucky results when we can see people
for who they really are and either accept them or remove them. And if
we are removing them, then we are gifted someone better. What's so y
had about that? If you're too zoomed into your situation, you're too obsessive
over the person that's in front of you, even though you're like, they're
really not good for me, zoom out a little bit. Think about in
five years if you were going to marry this person. Think about the headache
you might have with them. Think about them in the delivery room while you're
pushing and screaming. What are they watching the Mets like? Hmm, that's
not the vibe, you know what I'm saying. It is a turn off.
And if you're trying to unattached from someone, get out a pen and
paper and literally write down all the things that turn you off about them and
read that list every single day so you can allow yourself to move forward and
move on. Remember their actions, their capabilities is not reflective of your true
worth. It might be reflective of what you think you deserve, but that's
your own limiting belief. It's not reflective of your authentic worthy. And if
they're reflecting low level of consistency of respect, that means you have to do
some inner work, find a strain that serves you, and work on your
confidence so you know, no, I deserve more, I am worthy of
more. I'm gonna get more. This is really not about these other people.
It's about you training yourself to see negative behavior as a turn off.
It's about you training yourself to cultivate more confidence. And it's about you understanding
that you didn't come here to just be disrespected. Like imagine that. Imagine
you came all the way down to planet Earth, incarnated in a body,
are going through all these trials and tribulations, and you did all that just
to be disrespected. You know that doesn't make any sense. You know that.
And when someone's treating you negatively and it feels bad, that is your
emotional guidance system telling you their actions are not in alignment with you. The
emotions are not monsters. They are messengers, and they're constantly trying to communicate
with you about your external experience, your emotions, your navigation system telling you
where to go and what to avoid. When your emotions are consistently telling you
this person makes you feel terrible, you have to listen to that internal cue
and say, you know what, my emotions are making me feel like this
person is not in alignment with me anymore. Maybe I have to see what
life is like without them. Maybe I might have some doubt, but I'm
gonna do it anyway because I have a little suspicion that there is more out
there for me, that I could be treated better in a relationship, in
a god forbid, a situation ship. Don't even get me started on situationships.
I've done podcasts about that. You know how I feel. They're an
absolute no no. I want to leave you with this. Every day,
you have the option of how you want to create meaning around your existence.
You can create me that you're not good enough, or you can tell yourself,
actually, I don't want a partner who's checking out other girls. That's
gross. I don't want a partner that is liking all these pictures of half
naked girls. That's yucky to me. I don't want a partner that can't
communicate. All of these things are a turn off, And maybe you need
to hear this because this is just coming through me right now. There are
people out there that in the same way you're praying for them, they are
praying to meet someone exactly like you. There are people out there who are
wading, who are thinking of manifesting someone exactly like you in the same way
that you want your dream partner. Your dream partner wants you, and you're
delaying your progress towards this dream partner by keeping around people who are in a
lower vibration. You're stagnating your growth. You're blocking your blessings. Every day,
in the present moment, you have the option, do I want to
accept this or do I want to receive more? Do I want to feel
bad or do I want to feel good? Do I want to react from
autopilot and create a disempowering meaning or do I want to create empowering meaning that's
actually in alignment with my true, authentic soul. What do I want to
do? Because it is up to me, you are already inherently worthy.
What do you want to believe about yourself. You don't have to earn someone
else's love. Your divine, feminine energy is the prize in itself. It
is what hydrates this planet and the people of this planet. Your light,
your authentic energy, your existence is so magnetic, so powerful. But if
you keep around people who deny that beauty in you, it will be so
hard for you to see it in yourself. So it's time to place others
accordingly and take those beautiful eyes and refocus on yourself. Cultivate the confidence,
cutivate empowering meaning, and interrupt any story you're telling yourself about not being good
enough, and reminding yourself that actually, this is not my soulmate, this
is a turn off. This is not what I want in another person.
I don't do this to other people, to too on my clock, and
I'm not going to accept it from others either. I love you so much.
If you've not yet ordered show Up as Her, be sure to get
that in the show notes, follow me on Instagram at Vibe with CC,
and if you enjoyed this episode, please leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts
and Spotify. If not for me, do it for you, because good
karma and I will see you in the next one. Can kin sass me
I can't sass me h.