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Deborah, with her thirty years of
being an entrepreneur and creating over seven companies,

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knows exactly what it means to accept
the mission. When you make that

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decision, when you accept the mission
to become a solopreneur, to take yourself

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and your talents to market, then
you embrace a life of not only unlimited

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possibilities, but also the unknown.
It's an elixir of fear and bravery that

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only someone who's taken the leap really
understands. On our show, deb digs

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deep with her guests to highlight what
you the listener wants to know, the

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stories, the wise, and the
hows to navigate the journey to success.

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Get ready to hear from some of
the most incredible mission takers from Generation Z

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to boomers. So sit up,
perk up, and get ready to be

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blown away. Now Here is your
host, Deborah Drummond. You guys are

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the biggest part center listeners that any
podcast hosts pleasure of calling subscribers. You

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guys rock mission accepted. You're like, oh gosh, you haven't You haven't

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introduced this like that? Ever?
What do we have going on today?

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Right? You guys are the best? You guys are the best. I

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get to get up every morning and
meet the coolest people, and you guys

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are part of that. So I'm
super grateful. Thank you so much for

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being here with us today. Mission
accepted. If you haven't watched Barbara Frankson's

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first which what does should I call
it? Episode, it's bigger than an

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episode if you haven't heard her.
If you haven't heard her, ever,

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you're in for a treat after you
watch this one. We're doing this six

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times. We're doing a sixth series
on transforming you, turning your pain into

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passion and joy and love. And
here's a word that we hear a lot

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about and sometimes it's got a glaze
to it, the word forgiveness. Right

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like we do an automatic mostly I
just said the word forgiveness, and you

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guys automatically went uh huh, or
that's awesome, or no, thank you,

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or yeah, I know what that
means. But there's something about Barbara

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that's going to get you to dig
down, take those you know, take

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those letters apart, and understand forgiveness
in a whole different way that relates to

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transformation. Look, we have a
lot of people that come into the show.

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The show is called Mission Accepted.
You have heard from the most incredible

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athletes, parents, artists, actors, entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs. I mean,

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you know, people doing all sorts
of incredible things. Reminds me of Dennis

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where he has a guy like you
know, they blow things up, you

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know, like a rock blasted,
you know, rock busting world. But

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everyone took that big mission. Everyone
said yes, and you get to hear

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about it in the ways where people
decided to make a pretty monumental change.

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Why I have Barbara with us for
the time that we have her is because

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she talks about the stuff that makes
up the change. Like you know,

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those big things that you do.
There was a lot of things that you

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decided prior beforehand, and sometimes you
embraced it, and sometimes it scared you,

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and sometimes you want and sometimes it
wont. And here's here's the truth.

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Every time you get to that next
level that you want to move out,

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you need to go and have a
session with a woman like this,

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or a call with a woman like
this, or a mentorship conversation or a

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mentorship wine or whatever. Because as
we grow, those things re enter our

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lives and we have to look inside. We have to look inside. So

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she's kind of like this inside job
kind of lady. So I'm gonna let

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her just kind of go with it. If you haven't heard her story,

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this is Barbara Frankson and she is
a motivational speaker. She is an inspirational

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speaker. She truly has turned her
her pain into passion and joy. And

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I almost want to say like escapism
in the sense of she's had reprieve and

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some of us have had had mini
reprieves, we're able to come up for

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air. But she truly, when
you see her, you can see that

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her baggage has been replaced by wings. That's the only way I can put

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it. So Barbara, please come
to the stage today and do share that

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next phase of transformation and joy and
forgiveness. Yeah, yeah, thanks again

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for the great introduction. I am
always humbled. Walking in love was very

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hard for me, right, it
was hard. You can't have love and

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hate at the same time. You
can't have love and anger at the same

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time. One of the things that
I used to always say in my head

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is slow to anger, quick to
listen, slow to speak, slow to

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anger, quick to listen, slow
to speak. And one of the things

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is when you're walking in love,
first you have to walk in forgiveness,

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right, because part of that journey. I remember one of my transformational trips,

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we did what we called round tables, transformation round tables, and they

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were an attitude two things, attitude
and forgiveness. And I remember going to

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this establishment and the coach, the
co coach that I had, the woman

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from HR, said can we do
forgiveness first? Because there's a lot of

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unforgiveness in this company, and the
co coach she's been doing it longer than

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me, and I'm just sitting there
and she said no, and she said

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because there's a process, and she
said, we have to get rid of

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the attitude before we can go into
forgiveness. So no, forgiveness has to

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come once you change your attitude.
So the precursor also to loving. You

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got to change your attitude. You
can't be ange. You can't be mad.

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People used to say to me all
the time, Barbara, you look

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mad. I'm not mad. What
are you talking about? My words?

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People go by action speaks louder than
words. Well, it looks like you're

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mad. You're throwing, you're doing
this, you're doing that, And people

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are like, but I'm not angry. So you have to learn to forgive.

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But they've worked together. They've worked
together so so many times. Right,

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make choices, and some of our
choices is what would say, oh,

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that was not a good choice.
But the funny thing is, as

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I'm sitting in my kitchen right and
I have a wall right here, and

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a contractor was working on that wall
and he was going through some things and

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he went over a little bit too
far and he looked back and he's said,

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Barbara, I'm so sorry the cement
wasn't in yet. And he's like,

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Barbara, I will do it over. You spend so much money.

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And I said, no, believe
it, and he goes, what,

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you know, a woman's kitchen is
a yeah, especially now because we've learned

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to work from home. So it's
your castle. And that's where the conversation

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started. So I said no,
Like right now I'm looking over at it,

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I said, I always want to
remember that I'm imperfectly perfect. And

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when people come in and they see
the wall, they see how unique is

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that. They don't even seeing the
imperfection, they just think that it's unique.

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So part of that is taking those
choices and saying, you know what,

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none of us is perfect. Nobody
is perfect, and stop beating ourselves

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up. Loving yourself is a choice. It's a choice. And my thing

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is this right. You teach people
how to treat you. And if you

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don't love yourself or you don't walk
in forgiveness, one thing I have to

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say is small action create great change. That's what we used to do when

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we did the round tables, I'd
have them right on the top. Small

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action creates great change. And that's
what it is. It just takes a

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little stab. You know, when's
the last time you did something good for

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yourself? And I don't mean doing
your nails or doing this or just something

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good, just something that you would
normally. We'll do for others something we

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won't do for ourselves. And if
you don't believe me, go talk to

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a single mom. She'll go cut
her her son's hair and her hair is

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growing, and just keep doing it. Making sure we make sacrifices. So

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part of that as women, because
we're you know, we're bearers, were

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givers. We we got to learn
to give our give stuff to ourselves and

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love. They say love takes care
of everything, because guess what, if

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you do everything in love, wish
is very hard wish is very hard,

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but practice makes almost perfect. And
because we're imperfectly perfect, then it's great.

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So one of the things I always
say, do it in love and

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practice it and don't beat yourself up. But for those who you didn't see

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the first one, it's about the
baggage, right, So you can't.

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You have to embrace all of you, all of you, and that means

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forgiving. And one of the things
that I've done in practice what forgiveness is

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this, have a release party.
You got to release some things. And

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what that means is, even if
it's you, you got to release some

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people. So you take a pen. Don't use this because something happens when

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you take a pen in your hand. It's connected to your spirit. I

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know I'm aging myself when I say
letters, but I'm telling you there's it's

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so much different than clicking. And
you take that pen, and if you

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have to write a letter to yourself, I would do a mindful exercise.

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Just keep writing, writing people that
have hurt yourself, hurt you, and

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then write yourself things that you have
not forgiven, and then write a letter.

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And you have a choice. You
can burn the letter, you can

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throw the latter away. You can
give the letter and if the person is

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not here anymore, because sometimes that
person isn't there. I had a lot

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of issues with my mom, and
my mom died when I was Oh my

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goodness, when I was nineteen twenty, and I did not going into the

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other part of me, like I
say, the angry person, angry and

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love, hate and love. You
can't you know, you get mad.

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You hear your kids say, oh, I hate you. No, you

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don't hate me. You hate the
rules. It's a little easy, but

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you if you don't get an opportunity, because no one knows when someone is

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going to leave right right, So
if you don't get an opportunity to say

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I'm sorry to that person, and
you carry it with you and you don't

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forgive yourself, it becomes it weighs
you down. It weighs you down,

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and it stops you also from seeing
your purpose, from living a fulfilled life

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or peace. You can't have fulfillment
and peace if you don't have love and

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unforgiveness. So you're recommendation about putting
yourself on that letter as all the things

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that you kind of like, I
should have called, or I should have

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known better, I shouldn't known better
date that deal, or to date that

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person, or to stay in that
job too long, and just having that

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release party. It's very I think
of an album when you say release party,

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But isn't it a celebration, right, Like it's a celebration, celebration

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of you when you listen to a
love song, right, because that you

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like use it when you listen to
I love music too, because it's a

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universal language, even if it's a
different language. The beat, something about

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it just goes to you. Just
sometimes you don't know what you're listening to.

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What I like the beat? Right, So there's something about that,

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So you have to write down.
Sometimes it's your choice. It's and you're

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like to say, what did I
learn from that? What did I learn

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from it? What is the lesson? There is something in every choice that

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you've made. And guess what you
could turn around and say to that person.

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Know, you might not want to
do that because I think that,

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And this is what happened. Because
we're all walking around with stories that can

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help each other, and here's one
of them. Some people will tell you

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everything and some people will tell you
nothing. But I always say, before

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you can show up for others,
you have to show up for yourself in

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every single area. So if it's
love you guys heard me say. For

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those of you didn't hear, the
first show is that I had two divorces.

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I couldn't love myself, So how
am I gonna love someone else?

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Because in our own heads too,
depending on how we were brought up,

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love is displayed differently. My mother
never said that she loved me, but

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she had acts of service. So
we have to know, you know what?

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Think about it? Our love language? We have our love language.

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What's your love You know? I
asked some some women what's your love language?

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Ago? What do you mean?
And I say, go takes this

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love language. Go to love look
five love language? Google it and I

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want you to take the test because
once again you're complaining that your husband or

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your you know, your boyfriend is
not loving you the way? But are

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you, oh, at the service
to yourself? Right? Don't you think?

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Every chapter? Ago? Am I
doing that to me? Am I

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affirming me? Am I doing little
gifts for me? Am I words of

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affirmation to me? Are you spending
time with you? Yeah? Are you

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sending time with you? Quality time? Not just watching TV? People?

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Are you spending time we are looking
for validation from others that we are not

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willing to do for ourselves. Come
on, I had to go through this

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to realize that. And we like
to love people from our love language.

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Really, yeah, the same thing. So learn your love language. And

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when you learn your love or language, guess what happens. You want to

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learn someone else's so that you know
how you want to be loved. See.

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When I was getting a divorce,
I had not been to church for

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like twelve years because I was mad
at God. And that's all different story

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there. But I had not been
to church. And one of the things

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I said is you're gonna have to
send someone to get me. So he

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got my first husband, and he
gave me a Bible, right, and

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I still have that Bible even though
it's all torn up. And what I

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realized was my husband highlighted everything that
a wife was supposed to do. Come

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on, you already know where that's
going. You already know you? Oh,

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letty now. So I had two
choices, lady, I had two

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choices. This was my choice.
I could get kissed slow to anger,

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quick to listen, slow to speed, yeah, or I could learn from

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it. Because he was concentrating so
much on what I was supposed to do.

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He forgot. It's the same thing
with the love language. Yeah,

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you want someone else to go by
your own gift and you might not return

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it. Hey, hit hit you
know ye? Acts of service touch,

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Touch means more than sexuality. Like
you say, music that touches me,

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it's the last time you dance with
yourself. I'm doing seventy five hard now

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and when it rains, you know
what I do. I decide I'm gonna

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put some music on exercise, I'm
gonna dance. My neighbors think I'm crazy,

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y'all, but that's what I do
when it rains. The other day

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I was like, oh my gosh, my socks. You could bring it

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out and then I was done.
Can't get mad. You have to start

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doing things that loves you. See
when you give of yourself that it makes

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it easier to love someone. If
you ever see someone they're smiling all the

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time or what makes them once't you
sit down and have a conversation because you

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need to know what their journey was, because when they made a decision.

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The definition of insanity is doing the
same thing over and expecting a different result.

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If you are not getting the love
that you want, then walk in

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love with you and watch and see
law of attraction. It's addicting. We

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don't even that's what I say.
Well, it's like, what do you

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mean you want him to do this? But do you do that for you?

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That's very easy date yourself. And
that's what happened because my second husband,

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this is how I started. Uh. I intentionally did not date for

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three years. I intentionally. I
remember going out on my birthday. Can

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you imagine going out on your birthday
by yourself? Like I don't have no

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friends, but I intentionally did it. Yeah. I wanted to spend time

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with me. And I remember at
the end of the night, this gentleman

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almost broke his neck trying to open
the door for me. Yeah, and

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then he said to me, what's
a pretty woman like you doing out all

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by yourself? And I looked at
him and said, if I don't enjoy

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my own company, then why would
I want someone else wanted to spend time

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with me? And I also take
trips alone. You know what's beautiful about

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taking trips alone. What's beautiful is
that you get up when you want to.

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You can go work out if you
want to. You can go to

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whatever restaurant we spend most of our
time discussing with our girlfriends or a significant

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other. Way you want to go
vacation classid, right, so it's all

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about I'm going to get a shirt
though. The next time I traveled that

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says just me. That's called when
you're on a resort, they you know,

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it's it's almost like, yeah,
many just you, and then they

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start taking away the silverware for the
other true story, I'm telling you,

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they start taking it away. But
guess what if you're walking in unforgiveness and

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anger, nothing good's gonna come out
of it. Yeah, but because I

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just laugh, I just laugh,
and it's all an adventure. That's what

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it is, love and forgiveness.
Let me tell you something. When I

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realize all the things that I missed
because I was walking around mad at the

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world and upset for people, and
then when I thought back, I was

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like, oh, why am I
mad? Anyways? All right, that's

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when you know it's m M yeah. Well sometimes you don't even know,

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like sometimes there's been so much time
passed or people people they're like that was

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so long ago that it doesn't affect
me now. But that may or may

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not be true because we are like
the say, an onion, and as

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you evolve and go to that next
level and have your experiences and like,

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sometimes that stuff seems very minimal and
then sometimes something can trigger it and it's

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very alive. It's very alive.
Just one little thing I was talking to

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a girl up in this morning that
I kind of talked off the roof.

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I call it a bridge day.
You know, it's like, hey,

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you're not jumping today. So and
it all it was was someone called with

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this incredible story of them saving someone
from a fire. And she had been

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saved by a fire and it was
a great story, but a barrier,

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you know, it was. It
wasn't even a bad thing that happened,

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It wasn't anything, but it just
triggered her world and it was you know,

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then I need to talk her off
the bridge. And she wasn't gonna

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jump. I mean, you know
what I'm talking about an emotional place,

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and so sometimes you can be triggered. I mean, I think what you're

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saying is about, like revisiting is
a great idea. Revising it's a great

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idea if you're having some insanity,
like I've been in this job before,

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it's just a different boss. If
I've been in this place before, look

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at I'm gonna be, you know, completely transparent. There's times in my

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thirty one years of business then I'm
like, how did I end up here

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again? Or this isn't where I
thought it was going to be or or

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or or or right, And you
have to sometimes revisit like are you really

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not pissed off? Like really,
are you're really not pissed off? Or

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you know what mistakes have been making
in the last ten years that I need

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to forgive myself for. I love
that because sometimes you just make the best

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mistakes. But you're growing. That's
the whole thing about growing. Yeah,

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grow the most in your uncomfortable places. So you gotta go back to a

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place that you once was uncomfortable with
because now you can deal with it and

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look at it and say, oh
my gosh. Because for me, it's

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like, Okay, Adam, Steve
joke, they're all the same. God,

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do you know how empowering it was
that my relationship that I had last

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Hopefully it doesn't watch this, but
I realized if it's you just turn it

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off right out, Like the relationship, nothing was wrong, but he reminded

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me of I knew this was just
another he just had a different name.

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I knew where it was gonna go
before it went there. So I said

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to him, I can't date you
anymore. And he goes, why I

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said, I choose me. He
goes what I said, I choose me.

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I don't need to go in another
mom to know that this is not

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it. But when now I have
glass from ceiling to and when he left,

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I hope he didn't see me.
I was dancing. I never danced

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for a break up ever, and
I was I was like, God,

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thing, thank you so much.
You just saved me from what But it

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had to come back with Before him, I revisited some places, so I

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was able to recognize that if you
don't revisit a place, you'll never know

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the realm. You'll never know the
route. You'll also state the long way,

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and this is a short cut.
I think also when you recognize,

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like you're talking about forgiveness and having
that reflection, it really does shorten the

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time, like when you can really
celebrate like that, like I mean,

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I would want to dance for you. I know what it's like to let

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something go on a little too long. Or you've invested in or I mean

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whatever it is right. You could
even be an idea with your business or

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an idea that you're working on,
and you're like, like, you know,

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when there's something that needs some changing
in it, you know there's something

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needs you and when. To me, it sounds like you made a decision

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for you and it was like woo, like you know, boundaries one oh

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one? You know, yeah,
you know, did we ever have a

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chance to know what boundaries were?
Doesn't sound like from some of the stuff

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that you shared in your first you
had to learn what your boundaries were,

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what was appropriate for you, what
wasn't appropriate for you, what, And

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then you get to celebrate as you
honor those in yourself, as you start

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to get wise right, it's right, And it's all about the journey and

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the process of becoming, you know, filling that hole in yourself. It's

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all a part of that, and
we should celebrate those moments. Don't let

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it pass because listen, when you
were in agony, you were boohooing so

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yes, thens oh lord, I
forgot I had windows like that. Okay,

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look, I know that we've we've
had lots of lots of really I

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mean, I'm visually there. I'm
with you when we started this because we've

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got we've got four more how sessions
to do with everybody. So look,

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we've talked about if you have,
I'm gone back and listen to the story.

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Right. You know, when we
talk about this transformation, you guys

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are going to go through kind of
like from pain to freedom, from pain

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to joy, from pain to transformation, from pain from you know, pain

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to passion, and they're from pain
to win in the game. Right.

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So the first series that we did
were the first time that we got together

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and talked. You talked about really
going back into that what it meant and

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what some of that uncovering look like
and what people could do to uncover.

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Here we are starting to travel now, we're traveling through that world of self

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love and forgiveness and what that looks
like. In your suggestion around writing this

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letter, you know, writing a
letter to yourself anything else before we we

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let people travel into the third time
with us whatever. Its real easy when

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it comes to the love and forgiveness, that's a journey you have to travel

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on yourself because it requires you to
go back, like you said before,

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So don't try to bring everybody into
it, because then that's just confusion.

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This is your process, right no, So so yeah, that's it.

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But that's all I have, that's
all. That's a lot. That's some

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great stuff. But it takes you
to but it takes you to dancing in

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your living room when you say something
that's self affirming, right, I mean,

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that's what makes people. I mean, it's just like, well,

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how do you know when it's the
right decision? If you're dancing in the

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living room and your socks are wet, come up and then you made the

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right decision. But we know,
we know, right, Sometimes it's so

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scary to love self above other people, Like it's sometimes it's just so scary.

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So here's something I did for my
girlfriend today and for all of you

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00:26:37.799 --> 00:26:41.839
listeners, I'm gonna do this.
Is what I needed to do for her

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00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:45.039
today because sometimes it's tough to do
it for yourself. Is like, I'm

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gonna give you permission. I'm gonna
give you permission. I needed to give

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00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:52.039
her permission to take the rest of
the day off, right, So I'm

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gonna give you permission to take the
time to write your letter. Honestly,

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00:26:56.759 --> 00:27:00.119
if you're not finding the time to
write the letter at Barbara's talking about.

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00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:06.440
That's a disservice of act of love, right because you're not setting the time

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00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:10.839
aside and doing what it is that
you need to do to get better with

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00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:15.759
you. So that and even from
the sense that the world responds in a

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00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:23.759
way that you want to friend wise, partner wise, financially wise, respect

349
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:27.759
from your kids wise, like,
all of those things start to change when

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00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:30.559
you take time to do this.
So I'm just going to give you permission.

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00:27:30.839 --> 00:27:33.519
I'm also going to give you permission
to go hop on Swede. Where

352
00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:37.240
can they find you? You guys
know she's speaking at the stand Up,

353
00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:41.279
Speak Up and show Up eight times. Now you know why. She's on

354
00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:45.200
deb drummond dot com. You go
to the podcast there, she's there.

355
00:27:45.799 --> 00:27:51.240
You go to the Summit series schedule, She's there all the way till May

356
00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:55.440
twenty twenty four. You go to
the YouTube channel at dev Drummond and you

357
00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:59.079
are going to see her not only
these series but all the speakings. That's

358
00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:03.559
where you can tap into her through
us. But she's got a super easy

359
00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:07.680
way that you can like connect right
now. I have b Francs Speaks dot

360
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:11.519
com. Real easy b frank That's
why I am speaks dot com where you

361
00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:17.400
can go on Instagram. I am
b Frank's right, And I do also

362
00:28:17.559 --> 00:28:22.480
do boot camps and masterclasses probably once
every couple of months. So I'm the

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00:28:22.599 --> 00:28:26.400
here. I was just gonna say
that, I mean, author inspirational stands.

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00:28:26.720 --> 00:28:29.960
You know, if you're looking to
have someone at one of your parties

365
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:33.039
and rock the world and rock your
office, and rock your business and rock

366
00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:34.759
yourself. I mean, I know
that you cover all of that. This

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00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:38.039
This woman's like me, You guys, it's plane, train, automobiles,

368
00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:42.640
right, you can have it from
where you are today or you know she

369
00:28:42.759 --> 00:28:45.240
talks about it was funny. I
was watching a show. I'll get into

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00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:49.440
that another time. I was watching
a show of when someone meets there,

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00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:52.079
and the way that he was putting
it, it's like, it's like his

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00:28:52.240 --> 00:28:56.599
one sugar one cream friends. We're
one sugar one cream friends. You know,

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when you get on the plane and
they're like, would you like tea?

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00:28:59.079 --> 00:29:02.200
Yes, your one sugar one cream. He's like my friends. He

375
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.839
goes, they're my one sugar one
cream friends. And so we play train

376
00:29:04.920 --> 00:29:08.880
and automobile to people that you also
have things that are ongoing that people can

377
00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:12.960
tap to you again. Absolutely awesome. Okay you guys, look you are

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00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:18.400
as always the most incredible audience.
I thank you so much. Keep keep

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00:29:18.519 --> 00:29:22.599
sharing, keep shining, keep being
you, pop over to stand up,

380
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:25.519
speak up, and show up.
We expect to see you on the eighth

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00:29:25.599 --> 00:29:29.240
day of every single month, all
the way to Fabu, all the way

382
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:32.799
to March eighth, twenty twenty four, and then we have some things more

383
00:29:32.839 --> 00:29:34.559
to stop for you, so we'll
see you there. Thank you, be

384
00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:38.920
well, stay Rudy and Barbara,
I'll see it pretty good. Care Yeah,

385
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:41.759
thanks, thank you so much.
A right min