Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the song. It is talking Point. It
is five o'clock on a Saturday evening, and of course you all know that
we always have the best guest in town and the most good discussion. Let
me just say a good discussion. I was gonna say argument, but good
discussion. Anyway. Let's pray Father Bill with us now as we start our
program, and we pray that you will guide us through every aspect in Jesus
name. Amen, Amen, and a man. So let's do a quick
mic check. Pedro, how are you, sir? I'm good. How's
anybody doing today? Okay? Do that again for me? I am good.
How's anybody doing today? Okay, you sound you sound like you're good.
Pedro, you sound like you're good. Sound like you're good. Zenia,
how are you? I am well? Welcome to Talking Point? Everyone
good, yea good good. The microphone is always good. The rest of
it we concerned about, but the microphone always good. Um, Angela,
how are you? Low? Words started already like two minutes into the program.
Even Welcome to Talking Points? Okay? Is this okay? And is
here again? I'm just making sure we get the evening and welcome to talking
point. Okay, I think that's not bad. That's not bad. Makes
I got the right mic because it sounds anyway good and with us, I'm
going to ask Ryan to just give us a good evening, real quick.
Um, good evening. I'm ran great, great, sounds good to me.
You sound good to me and a nice one, does it? Well,
let's let's ask the question how was the week? Guys? How ladies?
And I gotta be politically correct nowadays. How how was the week?
Um? You know, I mean, anyone can kick in. I don't
know how are your week was? Let us know, um, Angela,
Zenia and Pedro, how your week was? My week was good this week?
Um, as we had discussion on Thursday, I've been a really busy
week. Finally back home, Um, definitely a dead rest today and just
how to you know, thank God that I was able to drive all around
like I did and make it back home safe and sounds so I'm happy about
that and be back home with the family. M hmm. Okay, okay,
so you know you you didn't go like Devon to to South End,
I mean to to Scotland or whatever. I went to Wales to Cornwall,
almost. Yeah. I was all down in the southeast of um of Um,
the UK, okay, about one hundred and eighty miles one hundred and
fifty miles from London. I was all down that side phone bath man,
down on that side of the town week and I grew up. I'm going
to beat like you that kind of money you're rolling with, that kind of
money, that kind of money you're rolling with, man, I tell you,
I'll tell you, is any angela? How was your week for you
guys are going? My week was okay. I in fact had a conference
to attend MINE Federation conference. This yer kicked hel And my takeaway from that
is that there's so much still to be done. And I mean, I
don't think this is new information, but we're still unraveling on unpacking what's happened
in terms of mental health from this U pandemic. Yeah. Yeah, it
is kind of kind of strange, isn't it. Yeah, And and who
knows when this will as far as the mental health side of it and well
being, you know, when you know the scars are probably gonna last generations.
Yeah, it's still so much to be done, but the good news
is started some now on the front um banner. You know it's now been
discussed more openly. Yeah, sure, and hopefully we'll see some progress.
Amen, Amen, and a man um and so any any any kind of
um, any kind of big news that stood out for you guys um this
week, any kind of thinking, well, there's a lot of news,
but any kind of news that stood out for you guys this week? Pedro
Zena And oh so you're sorry, Andy, I didn't mean. I mean,
I'm so used to not having you. I'm sorry. Go ahead,
And you were saying I was saying, that's got a good week. I
was office work. Sorry, I just gotta get this laugh back. I'm
sorry. That was fairly it was fairly relaxing, but I had It was
my younger sister's birthday, so I took her out. We went to Boockets
Farm Park, which was cool. Where is that? Where is that?
That's in leather Head in Surrey? Okay, okay, So yeah, so
we lots lots of animals, what have you. Sort of a bit of
an odd day because also my dad passed away twenty four years ago now on
her birthday, so it's always kind of a sad and happy day, you
know. But we had a good day. It was nice yea um and
yeah. Then the rest of the week I've kind of been I've been decluttering,
or at least attempting to. And I've realized that I have a lot
of stuff. Sorry my throat, I have a lot of stuff. And
yeah, maybe a big sale is coming, so you know, people need
things, you know, I would I would hope that, because we are
so charity drip from is that you would take it to a charity shop.
Do you know what I mean? Well, just do that. I've done,
I've done, used to do. I used to do carpet seals and
sell online and email and all that and stuff. But it takes that takes
a lot of time and a lot of stuff. So probably I'm going to
spake several charity shops. Quite happy, so because I come over, what's
a carpet cell? No, not a car boot cell cell, She's a
carpet sorry. No, she probably has to sell a carpets too. I
don't know. She got a lot of stuff. She got a lot of
stuff. Cope, what is that like a garage sale? I know what
a boot seller is. I just heard carpet Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, it's it's a signal in Halifax. We got it, we got
it, we got we got that signal in Hallifax. But you know,
it was interesting to talk about declutter because I was just looking in my wardrobe
or closets this morning, and I was saying, Bredren, you know,
it's taking me so long to get ready for church and our church. He
started all over again because I've accumulated stuff during lockdown, which is real weird.
I've accumulated stuff during lockdown that I didn't have before. And the sad
thing is I put on a little bit of yeah, since accumulating the stuff,
and therefore the stuff needs to go. So I was thinking, I
was talking about, you know, doing the charity thing, but then I'm
pole, amen, so I may. I don't know. I'm a charity
case myself, so maybe maybe I could, maybe I could do half,
maybe I could do half and half. Yeah, that thing. But but
yeah, and yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. Ya a
week off, you did nothing as usual. I'm sorry you did nothing and
rested and relaxed miss as much. I would have liked you to be honest,
because I'm actually tired, but because I think we were also rehearsing for
our Children's Day must have happened today, but I don't know. The devil
obviously wants its way and kind of mess up everything. So we ends up
postponing it to next week and kind of ends up sort of doing a sort
of prayer, praise and testimony sort of session, which actually would tend that
really nicely. Okay, okay, okay, So yes, it's not been.
It's certainly not been a rest of the week like I wanted to be.
When you've got things to do, you've got things to do, right,
yeah, Amen, Ryan, while you're here and you're chilling, it
looks like you're just chilingum tell us. And by the way, listeners,
Ryan is someone that is dead to our heart. Is one of those individuals
I've got baptized um with our aerial baptism we had. And he's a young
man. He's looking very distinguished. He's got a beard. I don't know
if I saw a beard the last time I saw him. Um. However,
Ryan, if I were to introduce you to the folk, how tell
us how you would want to be introduced? Um? How would I want
to be introduced? I don't know. I think I think first me,
I'm sure. Okay, so we all know my family, my hand and
whatnot, my mom Yeah yeah, um um um, I don't know.
I'm someone that recently, um just sure awfully to get closer to God.
And I've been trying to change my life around, okay, because we all
do some silly things a young I'm just trying to find good and find my
way life and that's sort of where I'm at right now. Okay, okay,
okay, that sounds good to me. I could not have done a
better job if I tried. Um, So we're thankful for that. Ryan.
We wanted to talk to young men. This is the month where we're
looking at the life of men, in particular at doctors on last week and
we talked about different aspects of life from men, and so we wanted to
dive into young men's life. I'm no longer young, Pedro is almost past
being young, and the ladies are probably young I'm not gonna say anymore.
So we want to ask you a direct question. We want to ask Kalie
too when he comes back, and that is life as a young man.
How we do describe life as a young man living in London? I think
life can be confusing if you don't have direction. Okay, I think I
think it's hard right now, because I feel that life can point at least
society can point in the wrong directions, because it can sometimes seem like the
wrong things are the right things to do, and like almost as if you
can justify giving certain things because people do it, other people do it all.
But I think as a man, I think what it takes to be
a man is to say, you know what, I know a better and
I'm willing to stand out from the crowd. And I think it's hard to
do that, definitely, But I think that's what it takes to stop being
a boy and become a man. Yeah, okay, I like that.
I like that, and and and Pedro as a man, we can identify
with that. At some stage in life we had to stand up and leave
the crowd behind and say, you know what, bridging, We got to
be our own individual man. Um. I don't know, Pedro. Maybe
I'm the only one that's been through that kind of thing. Um did that
did that penny drop for you? Oh? Definitely? Um. I think
what he's really saying is like pair pressure, the pressure to be It's hard
to be different and over here in the UK, yeah, um, they
say different. You can be different, but if you don't follow a certain
um path, then they kind of they kind of like don't help you or
they don't support you the way that you need to be supported. Would that
be fair, iron or in that sense or my little offer, I mean
if I am let me know, Um, I think I think you're about
right. Yeah. I think in regard to support, I think it's a
bit weird because sometimes I think sometimes you can get mixed up between do I
need support and do I just need to manna? And not in a not
in a sense where I'd say, because I know men struggle and I've struggled
and whatnot. But it's a thing where sometimes we can get so caught up
in everyone else seems to get help sometimes we forget that, you know what,
my life isn't that bad? Yeah, Like I can see God bless
me here here and here. I need to stop complaining and say, you
know what, let me just do what I can see where life takes Yeah.
Yeah, and I like that. I like that because we're preaching this
morning, I made a big point about complaining. Um, you know,
especially when we're complaining with no solution. Um, we just complain for complaining
sake. And and last week we talked about the term man up except for
when it comes to responsibility and and and we we said that, you know,
sometimes man up could put a lot of unnecessary pressure on men. However,
when it comes to responsibility and taking control of your life, the statement
is not a bad statement. And that is to man up and and and
do that and and and own it and and work through it. M Callied
you there. Yeah, can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear
you. Man, Hey, yeah, he oh Man. Listen, Man,
I'm so honored that you're on with Ryan today. Um. This is
Talking Point and Adventist Radio London. UM, and Callied and I is really
interesting. Um. We met in the gym. He's a lot fitter than
I am. Amen, and I think we're about the same. Yeah,
I don't know. I don't say that. Don't say that they're gonna judge
you, man, don't say that. But listen, called man, um
on talking to you. I just found your story fascinating. With Ryan,
we were just really talking about life and about manning up and all those kinds
of things. Um, we have Zenia, Angela and Pedro who's my my
team that we host a program with that we're on right now, and um,
and we wanted to talk to young men about their experience. UM.
And you know you you you were very open and in sharing with me,
and I was so same with you. UM. I felt that we bonded
amen um in in in our discussions. Um, you're wearing my hat by
the way, UM, sorry, I actually had it on the show.
I had it on the show last week. Um. Um. He was
the one that created the design on the hat. So um. Yeah,
so we're wearing it proud and loud. They've been wearing it proud and loud.
But listen, UM called real quick because I know you can't be with
us for the whole program. So how tell us about doing life? In
your experience? What was your experience like in doing life? Talk to me?
Okay, that's a very powerful question. I would say number one.
So that's great. I like it. I've raised that question. So it's
like my parents are from Saddam, so it's like a different country, different
culture to the UK and growing up you when you're young, you don't realize
the differences that you have. You do to a small extent, to a
lesser extent, sorry, but you realize, oh, you're from another country,
you're black, Um, you could be like from a different religion or
whatnot as well, and you see differences, but you're kind of it's embraced
more when you're in primary school and stuff like that. I would say,
so it's quite accepted. I felt quite accepted in primary school, and I
think it's like through my life, through my particular experience. I think why
I got into trouble younger was that I was trying to apply for jobs and
I wasn't getting any any jobs. And then I think materialism got to me.
It was like the aspect of materialism was just too much for me to
handle, and I was too immature to kind of think, oh okay,
let me be patient, let me go down this avenue. And it was
just a place of anger. Like I was very angry as a young person
as well. And also I noticed that my community, like the black community,
like we always it's always were always having problems with each other, Like
no one really smiled. You seem crazy if you're to smile. I smile
at people all the time now. But when I was going up mad,
like you can't smile at people. If you looked at someone too long,
stab you so like I've got stabbed at my fire when I was about fifteen,
and I think my outlook was like okay, I wasn't I don't think
I understood how like my belief in God wasn't that strong. It was strong
because I thought, yeah, God to help me to survive it and whatnot.
But it did. It made me. It made me not think.
Like what I realized now is probably the energy I was carrying at that time
was not positive energy, do you know what I mean. It's like more
of a negative type of energy that was kind of carrying around with me as
and I think that contributed towards the situations I'd get myself in. So I
was quite after that experience. I was quite an angry person. It wouldn't
take a lot for me to just go get get angry or do something to
someone because I felt I was threatened continuously. I always looked over my shoulder
walking around, just had that mentality from from that day I think I was
about fifteen, and then slowly like people as I was looking for a job,
like everyone was kind of like selling drugs in the area and making money
through that avenue. So I saw that and I thought, okay, should
I was having thoughts about doing that and they wouldn't dabbled and stuff because I
think I started smoking weed here and there. But I played basketball for Westminster
Warriors during that period. I think up until twelve, I played for Wembley
Football Club as well, and Green Fatltic and Belmont And I think not having
sport in my life I think contributed negatively to me. So when I wasn't
doing sport, I was kind of up to no good. So yeah,
that's that's I think sport plays a huge role in your life, like it
keeps you focused and just just keeps your mind, um occupied with bettering yourself
as well as that. It's that process of bettering yourself as well. Um
that helped and I wouldn't. Yeah, so I've got into it. I
got arrested here and there. So I got arrested for just random things like
shop I think shoplifting, like breaking into somewhere. Yeah, breaking into places,
um, and then I ended up in prison I think the age of
twenty, So that was that was probably where I started to kind of change
my life. A lot more before that. I did that very academically well,
like my parents quite strict, so like I always was, I always
kind of was encouraged to do well academically. It was it was like a
huge thing from my parents for us to go to university and stuff. So
I think that's, um, that played a big part, like a big
role in my life. Like I wasn't I wasn't ignorant about like I was
quite aware of the social kind of sayings and also just just um just like
kind of politically, I kind of knew what was going on, and I
thought I kind of thought, I think when you're young, you just you
think, um, there's a lot of double standards. So I think due
to that, you just think, Okay, um, I'm gonna I'm gonna
do whatever I want because there's a double standard, you know what I mean,
So people aren't going to play by the rules. Um. For me,
it was like on a on a like a global scale, like it
was a bit. It was a bit. That's kind of what made me
like kind of have a chiff on my shoulder, like, um, yeah.
So I felt like in Brent particularly, I don't think like there was
a lot of opportunities in the area as well. I think it's easier to
do priming to like find a local job in your local area, and not
that I'm just not that I'm complaining about it. I really should have.
Crime is not a way to kind of earn your money, do you know
what I mean? Like, I feel like when you're young, you just
think you you're very emotional. You think, Oh, if I don't get
employment, I need to buy this. I need to keep up appearances.
I need to buy these trainers. I need to um not look like I'm
for And I think like society plays a huge role in kind of like pushing
that materialistic agenda as well. Like it's like it's like it's like you're you're
valued more more on your status and how much money you have as opposed to
what you can do to benefit your community. And I think that's wrong.
And I think as I grew old, look kind of I realized that and
this helped me to ground myself and care more about serving and building things.
Then then how much money I can flaunce do you know what I mean?
That's something that came slowly. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely. Yeah.
No, I was going to ask you a question on you said, you
got arrested, you went to prison for the different very things that you did.
You got stabbed at the age of fifteen. Yeah, but stabbing didn't
make you change, you just made you more angry. Um yeah. Yeah.
When I got stabbed, I thought, okay, the police, I
was going to protect me. I need to protect myself. That was kind
of my mind. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I get you and you're
bleeding out. They're they're gonna do, They're gonna come, you know what
I mean. But you think there's no point but yeah, so so,
um you got you went to prison, and then you said that that kind
of turned you around. How did that happen? Um? Yeah, I
went to jail for robbery. I think prison, Yeah, robbery. Yeah,
and um, it's from not being patient. It was them from that.
Like when I look back at it, it's because of it's because of
the fact that I wasn't patient enough too. Um, I wasn't relied on
God enough. I feel, um, so I feel like that that will
happen because I wasn't patient and I wasn't as reliant on God as I should
have should have been. That was a huge lesson. I learned. Yeah,
definitely. Yeah. So so you're in prison, U the penny dropped,
you needed to make some changes along the way. How did it start?
How did the change start to happen? Um? Well, I used
to feel guilty because a lot of people in prison came out of care and
stuff like that. I had my parents, So I felt kind of feeling
because you're seeing people that have come from like real, real diet situations.
And then I thought, as Okay, I wasn't in that bad of a
situation for me to be doing what I was doing or thinking how I used
to think, So that that was kind of one one like major point.
Another point it was the fact that I felt as though there was more to
life than just like making a lot of money in punting it, like I
felt it was like a deeper meaning, like what what can I do to
benefit people? Shot them from doing the same things I did. So I
felt very embarrassed the shames. Um, there's a lot of a lot of
different things. And um I felt was that it wasn't me. It wasn't
me, That wasn't me. Well how I felt it at the time,
it wasn't who I felt I was as a person. Sort of just kind
of um, started to pursue our passions more like art, interesting things of
that nature, and things that made me happy opposed to things that just come
out with a materialistic outcome. I was just looking at things that made me
happy, like doing the things that made me happy. Hum. So sport
played an active part when you came out of prison. Did you continue down
to sport line? Um, I don't believe I did. Really. At
first, I went to university because I think that's something my parents wouldn't be
to do. So I did that. And then I think during university I
joined the basketball team because I'm quite good. I played football in the majority
of my life, but I've managed to get like played for the for the
Westminster and stuff. I'm quite shure that I'm only five. You've seen me,
Yeah, I've seen you. That was about I was going to ask
you that question. How did you make it under the Westminister basketball tea?
I have no idea, I have no idea. You must be good,
you must be good. Yes, you must be good. So you you
did basketball and know that you also do boxing. Yeah. No, I
started that quite late, like about twenty six. And you wanted I'm just
doing it. I haven't had my first bout was supposed to be for COVID
and it's been extended until now, so I'm kind of just doing it to
improve. I'm not looking for the final outcome, like to be Um blowing
up from the spot or anything. I'm just kind of just learning the craft
and understanding things, and I'm just learning about it. Really. Hold on,
hold on, hold on. You said you're thirty one. H Man,
you got to forgive me, man, I thought you were like twenty
five. Yeah. No, do you want man? Oh man, I
need to call you mister or so next time I see you. But but
listen, man, Before I'm sure that the other panelists have some questions they
want to ask Um you. But before I let you them talk to you,
I just want to to ask you this question. How did I mean
you're you're from a household that seems secure. You are from you you went
to UNI. I mean, you need all the things that we would want
all of our children to do, but yet you end it up in some
real sticky situations. Yeah, I'm a parent, So from your parents' perspective,
man, they must have been like perplexed or blaming themselves. How did
your parents take all of this? I think they were very stressed. I
think I stressed them out, especially because I'm the only like male as well
so as I think I've got free systems, so really experienced these things with
them. M I don't know. I think it's the location I lived in
and just in a lot of different practice coming home, like ending up in
hospital. I'm quite a head strong person, like I don't trouble people,
but when people trouble me, like I'm one of those people I just can't
let it go. But I'm starting to improve on that at the momentum.
But I think that's what brought me into a little a lot of fights when
I was younger. They were just stressed out. To be fair. There
from Sedan, which is quite like a quiet country. It's like yeah,
um, yeah, it's really quiet and relaxed. At the moment. There's
like a military too goes on. But yeah, that's like kind of like
out of it's not really the house of that years, I would say.
So it's like it's star to city in a city kind of surroundings, and
they're quite shocked and I don't think they know how said that's to the situation.
Yeah, yea, so they're probably very fit of like afraid. Yeah,
I would say, probably fearful, But what could happen to me in
things like that? They were definitely very angry at me as well because of
the things I was doing. I'll climb out the window at night and just
jump out of the window and try and meet my friends, will do whatever
I wanted to do. So yeah, about I can't even imagine you round.
I can't imagine that the guy I know now and you're telling me this,
It's like really yeah, wow, wow, sick o pin And let's
ask the ladies and gents, what's going through your mind? Is clily speaking,
what's going through your mind? Ladies and gents? Are you here?
Oh? I was just going to ask thank you Keared for sharing your skin
of your story. You spoke about obviously your upbringing and how you know your
parents in the quite a secure unit by the sounds of things. So obviously
you said that there was a bit of a defining moment when you're in prison
and you thought I cares a bit more to life and what have you.
Where did that kind of come from? I mean, was that a case
of you've now got time to think and reflect a lot. You know,
were these the kind of values that your parents instilled in you? You know
what kind of influence and sort of impact, because sometimes and I was talking
to something to day and they're saying, you know, sometimes children are talking
things, and no matter what sort of path they kind of go on,
often those things that they're taught as a child remain with them and at some
point it may come back to them. I was wondering whether that was something
for you, you know, was it reflection of your your your parents phraised
you. But you eventually came back and had a realization, actually there is
more to life and I could be doing something better and different. One thing
I'd say is that is very true as well. I've always had like certain
values instilled in me, so I knew what I was doing was wrong,
and I just felt like, Okay, I would always make excuses, like
I would make excuses for myself, so I'll be like, Okay, this
didn't happen for me, so I'm going to do this or and it's like
coming from a place of stupidity because it's just the right decision making. And
I think it stopped my right decision making, and it made me think long
terms, so I started to think from short terms to more long term and
also like being thankful for just having a good like a family that kind of
always taught me to do good things and stuff like that, not to take
drugs or drink or anything like that. So it's like it's like drink accessibly
do whatever. Really, um So I've always I've always had that, so
I knew I had to be Yeah, I would say definitely that I had
had a lot of a lot like characteristics and values and snorted me. But
um so I was more thankful when I was looking at other people who have
come from like Clostom and things like that. We've had like really traumatic lives
as well, like two hundred times worse than my lives my life, and
it kind of gave me less excuses to do anything outrageous as well. So
it's just it grounded me a lot, made me a lot more thankful.
And I would definitely agree about having time, real time to seek your skills,
your passions and things of that nature. To read a little bit more
because before that I wasn't reading, so I stopped it in because at that
age I was thinking, why am I going to read read? It's not
going to give me any it's not going to maybe money. So it was
that mind frame of just putting money before everything, like before my my sleep
for anything, like money just came before everything, and that was kind of
brainwashed into me from my local surroundings how people respected me as a person.
Um. So yeah, yeah, that change. I think when I stopped
putting money before before everything, I think that's when I started to realize,
oh okay, let me do wow, let me do this. And it's
like I wasn't. It's like I was a slave to to what people thought
of me before that. So yeah, yeah, that's why I would kind
of that's how I would answer your question. I like, I like what
you said, man, you thought you were a slave to what people thought
about you. And that's big because I mean, I know, I went
through it in my adolescence in early twenties and even actually you know, when
I got to UNI myself, which was late it was like twenty six and
on, and it, you know, it was more about what people thought
about me, you know. And of course I was studying theology, so
I was going to go into ministry or teaching religion or something along those lines.
And then I thought, well, you know, I needed to be
that person that everyone looks up to, you know, that kind of role.
And I was really trying to play the role. I'd walk around school
with a Bible on my chest and you know, and then all that kind
of stuff, trying to play the role because I wanted to look like what
people thought I should be. And it's really interesting because God kind of knocked
all of that down for me by going through some of the same trials you
went through, and that is, you know, being arrested and all the
rest of it, you know, trying stuff, getting addicted to things,
and then hitting rock bottom and all of a sudden, now, guess what,
I don't look like a preacher should really look and I don't look like
a a religious leader should really look and uh. And that's what really kind
of shaped my ministry was when I got to the point where you got to,
and that is, you know what, I'm going to do this the
way it's supposed to be done. Um, I don't want and nobody is
going to make me a slave to their thoughts or their thinking and uh,
and that picked me up. Then you're also on your mind. What's going
through your mind? Um, callen, thank you. That's there's just so
much to unpack out of what you've what you've shared, UM, and a
few things have have struck out for me, uh, materialism and pastor you
said it again in another way, it's it's imagery, you know, putting
on a front, putting on an image and not really looking at the character
of a man. And um, and I think that ought to be the
most important so for me, Calin, I mean, if you could sum
up as I said, I've taken a few um, looking at a character
more than the material things and the out the outward appearance of a man.
And you talked about having an outlet though your thought sports was was very important,
um, and useful for you in terms of having somewhere to go and
something to do. UM. Is that some of the advice you'll give if
you were talking to two young men or younger men now, because I know
you're still it's so very much a young man. But if you were looking
to to someone coming behind you, UM, what would you say, very
much a young man twenty five? Did you say sorry? M But what
would you say to them? Then? Um, is that kind of kind
of along those lines that you you'd go, yeah, a really good question,
man. Um. The thing is, yeah, it's like we all
like everyone wants to be a sheep, Like you can set your own standards.
And I would say, don't be afraid to be you like ways afraid
to be ourselves. It's really weird. Um. Um, Like, look
for people that can get you into places, um like me, given someone
a reference for a job or helping them out in whatever field they want to
partake in, could change their life. Like, so I would yeah,
exactly, Um, I would want people my age to really reach back and
be more m just give more advice. It doesn't have to be like giving
them opportunity, but you can give them their advice the tools they need to
get to where they are, get to where they need to be. Yeah.
Um, I feel like if people do that, but then they'll see
real changes and it will help them as well, Like it will help it
will help me maybe in the future as well, because every everything I would
I would say, like want somebody else is in a good situation. They
can put you in a good situation in whatever way they can. So I
would say we like I would say to them, reach out to people that
are doing the things that they like, the things that they're interested in within
the community, and don't be afraid to do that. Yeah, definitely,
thank you so much. Pedro Pedro, Now Kaled Pedro Pedro is a gangster
from New York. We're reforming him here on the program. You know,
he's he can identify with everything you said. I just don't know. I'm
sitting here like I'm gonna tell you about now, dude. Like as Ryan
said earlier, you use that phrase like you you manned up. Yeah,
you manned up. That's pretty much. Thank you. Ryan. You know
what you had to do, you had you said, you know what,
I'm gonna stop making excuises. I'm gonna do what I gotta do for myself.
Yeah. Um, everything you just said it was like my life story.
Wow, grew up. I was one of them. You're the left
of ten. Move to the States, had that same issue of trying to
fit in, trying to have what people think about me, got into drugs,
got into gangs, got into all the different things, got into trouble,
was just causing trouble for my mother. Everything you just said just like
brought up all this emotion in me because it's just exactly like the life that
I led. And at some point then I realized that I got to stop
and I had all got in my life, I had all the instills in
my life, and I'm just man, I'm just real proud of you,
man, because it takes a lot for people to admit when they are when
they have faults, especially men, and to say, look, this is
my fault. And then it takes even more of a man because you didn't
really mention this, but I have a feeling that you went to your parents
and apologized. You went to people that you may have heard in the past
and apologized, and that takes a lot so a man to do that too,
to say, look, I know I did this, but I'm a
different person. And then it takes time for them to realize that you are
a different person, because they probably think of you still as that troublemaker back
in the day. But then as you show them that you're changing your ways,
then they start to see the change in you, and then they start
to treat you differently. Try they start to help you more and support you
more, and now you're not stressing them like you user stress them. So
like, just listening to you, man, it just brought back so much
emotion because there's other people like you out there. Because I'm like that.
I was just like, I'm forty seven and right around your age too.
That's when I realized, right around my late twenties early thirties, I realized
that I have the man up and just take responsibility for all the things I've
done. Stop blaming everybody else for the things I've done. It's nobody else
has felt by my own and just try to put like you said that that
you had that negative energy, you not had that positive energy, and it
just floats over you. Yeah, with every word you say, it just
feels positive. It just feels like you know, not many men are gonna
be like, oh, I'm gonna go give a guy reference because if I
give him a reference is going to help me down the road. You're not
doing it because you want something in return. You're doing it because you just
want to be positive for somebody else's life. Yeah. Yeah, So yeah,
that's all I got to say. I'm just like, yeah, just
definitely Yeah. Went home hard way hard kelled one of our one of our
listeners, and I'm coming to Ryan, Ryan, I need after I read
this, I want you to comment on what Kelly It has said as a
young man, Amen, as a young man living in this society and hearing
his story. So let me read what someone is just sent in. Thank
you for your openness. I'm glad that you were academically sound from your parents
encouragement and strength. The time you spent in prison seemed to build your character
in more positive ways, and you were able to examine your life and the
project aspect of your family and turned around, so to speak. I'm glad
that you started to reflect on the future and built plans to improve your skills.
Well done for your accomplishing a degree. Um. It just shows that
it's never too late to move forward positively. And uh and and that that's
a powerful um. Thank you for sending that into us here at talking point,
Ryan, I'm looking at you on my screen and I'm coming at you
like a train coming fast and about to hit you hard. You heard callidum
and and and and by the way, by the way, UM, I
just want to say that he's not saying he's perfect, Amen, He's gonna
say he's perfect, um, But he is a work in progress or in
process. But but Ryan, what about you? What listen to what he
said? What hits you the most? Listening to what either has said has
touched me a little bit because it's like, I am I feel like I'm
on a similar road in a sense where I feel like I'm at a crossroads
now of am I a new person or am I still who everyone knows me
as? And it's sort of like when you talk to people and say,
oh, yeah, I change my life now, and some people are like,
Wow, it's so amazing to hear, and then some people are like,
come on, it's huge, you know, and it's like, whoa,
I'm as much as it's so hard to change my life or to change
your life, for anyone to change their life is like I'm trying, yeah,
and that's that's that's what we can do. And we still slip up.
We don't make mistakes. But it's like trying is what's so important to
say? Do you know what? Yeah? I know this isn't it.
I noticed, this is a consequence. I know this doesn't have any good
impacts on me, my friends, my family, So why am I going
to do? It's? Um so I'm just here like, yeah, I
know that going to I went to UNI for one year for the game another
but I know I went to UNI for all the wrong reasons because I went
to UNI to to to live the UNI life, to speak. So everyone
says it to go and have fun and whatnot. And I keep saying to
everyone, I'm going back to you, and the people laugh and say it's
been how long? And I say, no, I'm going back to UNI.
I just need to get to a place in myself where I'm going for
the right reason. I'm going to study, I'm going to lie. I'm
going to create opportunities for myself because I need to do better for myself because
I come from like Chari said, I come from a don't I come from
a loving family. I don't. I don't have excuses to say, oh,
I was struggling and I needed to do X, Y and Z.
I don't. I can't make those excuses. I can't justify anything. So
I need to say, do you know what, Yeah, I got little
sisters and the little brother and the younger cousins that we'll look up to me,
and I need to do better for them. I need to do better
for my parents who have worked so hard to give me the life of that.
So it's sort of like a yeah, I know that as tempting as
Yeah, a lot of things that I used to do are but not even
that's not the directional going. Yeah, we keep straight and keep like he
said, building towards the future. Yeah yeah, yeah, you know,
Ryan, And it's great to hear what you're saying, man, because the
change that you're making, or have made or began to make is definitely a
positive one. And and and you know, I'm listening to what you're saying
because you know what I'm I came out of jail and went to UNI at
twenty six, and I remember in America. I went to America and it
was eighteen year old people in the class. Eighteen year old people in the
class. And they used to call me a senior memory in my class man,
And that used to get to me, you know what I mean,
because the eighteen year olds are doing their thing and I'm sitting there. And
then they made me the president of the Senior Society in the UNI. Now
they're thinking it's something good that they did. I'm thinking, Man, I
don't leave this place. Man, I'm every class I go to is reminded
me that I'm too old to do this and I'm too old to do that.
But one of the things is man is is I had never had the
opportunity to really live the dream I wanted to live. And being there UNI,
particularly in America, I saw the dream begin to unfold in front of
me, and I said, you know what, I'm gonna stay the course.
I'm gonna stay the course and I'm gonna move forward. And you know
what, I think it was thirty one is when I actually graduated with all
of these all of these young people, and I didn't go to my graduation
because I had to speak for the Youth Congress in UM in Saint Louis.
I didn't go to my graduation because I was like, well, I wasn't
embarrassed, but I was happy because I got through what I started and I
hadn't never done that before, you know, And and that gave me impetus
to keep on reaching for greater things to do. So my word to you
is, man, you started, you say you're gonna go back. If
that's you, if that's where your play is in life, go back,
but don't go back from mom, and don't go back for aunties and uncles
and everybody else. Go back because Ryan wants to make or be the best
person Ryan wants to be. And I love what you're saying about because your
example of going back and accomplishing what you want to accomplish, you'd be amazed
that you're killing two birds with one stone. Your aunties, your uncle's,
your mom and dad, and all the folk. They will be blessed by
what you have accomplished. So yeah, yeah, yeah, take your time,
do you think, But if you're if you're in your heart you want
to go back and accomplish that, then go and do it. You know
what I mean. Don't feel bad about that. Go do it. Don't
don't think about what other people would say, because we don't want to be
a slave of other man's thoughts. And if there's anything I want our young
people to pick up from this program is that we don't want to be a
slave to other people's thoughts about us. Kali come back in. I know
you gotta go. I know you're juggling about fifteen different things at the same
time. So what do you got to say before you run away from us?
Man? Yeah? Yeah, I just wanted to thank everybody as well,
Like your stories are great as well. Ray Um sorry in regards to
that, um so one second, Um sorry right is it Ryan Yan?
Yeah? Yeah, So basically that's amazing that you've you've done one year.
I don't think you should be discouraging any sort of way because as forwards though,
you can always educate yourself, Like UNI isn't always the root for everybody
else. There's a lot of successful people that didn't go to UNI, And
I would say, um, do something that you're passionate about and re read
up on it as well. So if you're if you're going to go into
the second year or so, um, just just um kind of read books
about what you want to do in that and don't let the dy syllabus or
whatever deter you from being creative in your own way and bring something bring a
piece of your personality to the course as well. So I don't don't think
that you have to just fit in with everybody, um in regards to the
projects that they're doing or anything like that. Just be a very just dream
big, dream as big as you can dream as bigger, and don't don't
let anyone's opinions or their thoughts um, damping, damping your spirit in any
way because you you've probably got huge potential and you don't want you don't want
to miss out on that potential. Trust me, And yeah, you seem
like you've got good heading your shoulders and I know there's going to be greatness.
To be thinking like that at your ages is a great blessing. And
I feel like, don't look at any other people that are running the race.
So it's easy to look behind people think, oh, I went to
UNI with these two people and they're ahead of me in life like they've gone,
they've got they've done better in their careers, whatever. Just that comparison,
um, it will stop you from being great. So I would say,
don't compare yourself for anybody that has maybe started the course and finished it.
You may go on to do great, great things outside of UNI.
A UNI is just a qualification. What you bring as a person is more
valuable, and what you can offer the world is way more valuable than with
the qualification itself. So UM, I would I would say, keep the
knowledge in your in your mind and your heart and don't let that, don't
let the qualification keeping your value Like yeah, yeah, I love that love.
I love that before Colley goes anything, you want to respond in say
Ryan to what is just said to you? Um, thank you. I
hear that. I hear that because it's definitely like I always I was pretty
good in school, but I used to just go and sit a test and
pass test. Wow, And I didn't really I didn't put my all into
my subjects because it was just might just go school when I'm smile, passl
ornot and unly saw it hit me where I will, like, you don't
go you need just and just sit on pass. You have to care about
your subject And I said, and I said to myself, you know yeah,
I definitely do need to bring something to say. Do you know what
I'm not? I could be so much more than just an average student.
So it's I have to believe in myself. But not only that, I
have to put the working and I have to put me in and I have
to to learn as much as I can and say, you know what,
I'm passionate about this, so I will do it and wherever it takes me
will be good because do you know what, I put my hole in and
and go doing control so it will all be fine. Yeah, yeah,
wonderful. Um, someone just send a message in saying, um, this
life is a battle in a march. Keep moving positively. And that's for
you Ryan, because it's never too late. You can accomplish your dreams.
It's never too and we're going to thank you for sending that in great encouragement
today rolling in for these two young men. Amen, young men, young
men. One one not so young but one one and young Amen, I'm
not younger. To go ahead, and you're gonna say something I was just
gonna say. I also wants to recognize just what was happening right there.
Yeah, just by you know, encouraging and men speaking young men's old men
speaking to each other and encouraging each other. Old men. Yeah, old
man, old man there to slip. That's alright. That moving away from
the point. Timemaking is about to men talking to each other and encouraging each
other and supporting each other. Because one of the things that we you know,
we haven't really touching it much here is sometimes that men sometimes don't necessarily
feel like they're being supported by other men, or they feel like they can't
talk to each other and share about what's going on for them, and actually,
right here, we're seeing Colored encouraging Ryan, Ryan encouraging Colored. So
I think it's really important to recognize that. You know, Internachell's Men's Day
theme was men leading by example, and you know we're seeing that in action
right here. So I just want to recognize that and encourage that to keep
happening for men of all ages. You know what, man, you know,
let me just say this, but listeners, that there. You know,
Andrew is very sly you see, I actually just dropped that in,
you know, I mean very slime manow the shame point. Sorry, sorry,
Zenia, did you say something? He made an excellent point. Let's
and get lost and I'm gonna play qualitive with this one. No, but
I know, I mean the point is well taken, and that is as
men, we don't talk. We don't seem to talk to each other about
real issues, and we don't seem to we seem to bottle things up.
So that was a great exchange to see, and I think that's what people
are responding to when we're reading these comments. They're actually seeing young men speaking.
Kelly, I can't let you go, So tell her whoever waiting on
you, that you can't go because because I want to. I want to
ask you and Ryan this question, if you don't mind, we got a
problem in our society now with gunna, knife crime. There's a problem.
Everyone's packing something, everyone's got a knife. I'm sure called it sounds like
you were carrying something at one stage in your life. And Ryan, I
don't know if you've ever been involved in that kind of thing. But but
guys, how can we help this generation? Man? And on top of
that, we're killing each other on the standpoint, then we're killing ourselves because
suicide amongst young men is very high. So how can we do? How
can we help? Talk to me? Guys? What what's going through your
mind? Let's going first, either one of your man okay, Um,
I'll give two points. Um more like more community projects, I would say,
like the end things that temporary where we live. I would say as
well, like keeping busy, Keeping busy h definitely stops you from walking around
with those kind of things, because, um, when you're busy and you're
in the environments, you keep so if you're around people, it's like,
well like I do fashion songs, Like around people, I do fashion.
Yeah, you'll see scissors around, but no one's in the staggage other,
right, do you know what I mean? So it's like, um,
the environment you keep around yourself as well as say that. Okay, so
the community, the environment, um you know of course you know you're in
fashion, so that's basically keeping you focus. So one of the ideas is
to stay focused, um on on what is important, his priority and what
is dreams, et cetera. I get that, get that run what's going
through your head? I think I think a lot of things about this.
I think firstly, I think we need to take away the crime from the
knife in a sense, like as in automatically, when you think of a
knife, you think of stabbing and bad think someone. But man is a
tool for the kitchen. And I think cooking is amazing. Yeah, cooking
is when you cook. And the video is good, it's signed, it's
sign special. I think you sound like it, sound like your mom is
a good anyway, great. I think I think you need to I think
I think we need to educate more on that. Okay. Lots of things
are dangerous. Lots of things can be used the wrong way, the same
way he said, you have scissors, but non's on a stabbum with decisions
is that you shouldn't even we should get to a place where, yeah,
a knife isn't thought of for stabbing someone. A knife is for looking and
using the kitchen, and it stays in the kitchen. And not only that,
I think also, um, I think, yeah, we need more
community, we need to feel more safe. I think we need to move
away from the idea that life is so hard for black people and they can't
make it unless they work ten times harder, and even still they would never
be as successful as a white person or an Asian person or whatnot. I
think it's quite It puts into head already like you're you're that's ingrained into your
chip on your shoulder, Like, oh, I already can't make it,
but you are capable of anything. To get what I'm saying anything. So
it's like as soon as you start to when once you start to realize that
being capable of anything means so much more than just being rich or being a
drunk or being the coolest guy on the block, when it means you could
be a physicist, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, whatever you
want. Yeah, and that, but that also requires hard work and determination,
and it doesn't matter your race, because white people who are teachers or
who are doctors, they worked hard to get Asian people they worked hard to
get where they are. So it's a thing where it's like, yeah,
you need to stop thinking or because I'm black, I need to work irregardless.
You have to work hard, irregardless. And yeah, I won't say
it's not a bit. I wouldn't say it's not harder for black people or
whatnot. But the opportunities are there. The world is different. The world
is a much better place than it used to be. So it's a don't
look and think, oh I can't do it, just think and I will
and I'll continue to do my best. And once you realized that, then
the street seems so much less attractive, the knife crime, the gang,
it is so much less attractive. You don't even you feel like, why
would I even want to be there? Yeah, yeah, it's true.
It's true. And Ryan, you know what you said is is very very
important. You know, we can we can look at the negatives all day
long. We can, we can spend time focusing on negatives all day long.
But the reality, man, the reality is is that you know,
we've got to say to ourselves the disadvantages should be the fuel that push us
forward and and and move us into and and you know, Kelled said,
now he's into fashion and and and you know he's he's wearing the hoodie that
I that that that that that's my hoodie. But he just didn't have my
size amy and and the hat to go with it. And he's got all
this stuff that he's making and then putting out there, and and and he
could have easily come out of prison and say, you know what, I
won't get employed. You know, I'm black, I won't get employed because
I've got a I've got a criminal record. He could have said all those
things, but instead it seems like you decided that you're not gonna leave your
employment up to somebody else. You're gonna employ yourself, and you're gonna get
it deep into what you gotta do and at the same time help your communiti
as you move forward. And maybe wrong, but talk to me, Kelled.
Yeah, that's that's that's a good point. Um definitely, um I
did. I'm not gonna lion say I didn't have those toughs that was playing
in my mind every day. I did think like that, But luckily,
um I was able to persevere like UM. Just true. I think Crue,
you're surrounding so if what it is, it's like so, I think
the people around you will will help you. Like if you're in that situation,
if you've got a good support system of friends like going to try and
give you opportunities, or UM told you not to give up, then you're
you're very lucky because it is easy to have that mind framement to think okay,
because a lot like in prison, you meet like people that are like
successful criminals and they will be able to give you drugs, not UM.
So you for you to say no, and you've got more opportunities and and
you've got more opportunities in criminal activities then you do with actual like legal legal
opportunities. So it takes us like a strong mind. You need to be
set in your ways to not UM, to not be like UM, to
not have that do not return to that way. I'm thinking, so yeah,
I definitely agree, and I think that UM you touched some great points
you and Ryan about not feeling sorry for ourselves and always just thinking what can
be done instead of looking at the negatives because we understand, like we understand
the social issues that we face, and it's not about not understanding those issues,
is about coming together and rectifying whatever we whatever those issues, whatever kind
of boundaries they place on us or um you can't put on us um and
just not having a vision of m that materialistic success in terms of like what
is seen by other people. So a lot of people think success is just
monetary um. Financial success is great and understanding it is really good and it's
important, but the base value on it is war play on our wines and
it won't allow us to be the people that we need to be. I
think as well, Um, yeah, that's why I have to say about
that. What Yeah, great points stared as well. Really yeah, really
really really took to those points. Yeah, can I can I just say,
yeah, I went to the bank, I think yesterday, I got
a check and I had to cash it and I heard someone in the bank.
He just looked like a regular guy, like regular clothes, bugs,
standard average, and he said, I'd like to catch this check four hundred
grand and I swo wow, Because there are guys that yeah, they've got
oh the designer in the world, they've got a flashy car and whatnot,
but they don't have no money and they look like they've got the money,
but they've got no money. Yeah it's you. You You. The world
can fool you into the thinking, oh I need to have this is actually
planning this thing. But the people that actually have money, generally speaking,
then they're not. They are the flashiest guys they are, and those flashy
guys are usually not not good with money, so they don't keep their money.
It's like learning to say, you know what, yeah, okay,
cool, if I if I do want money, not even necessarily that you
need money, but if I do want money and I do want to it's
like, how do I make this money? And how do I maintain it?
And how do I realistically make it so that yeah, I can keep
it because the criminal activity. Yeah, but there are people that do criminal
activity and they've got loads of stacks of money under their bed, but they've
gon't do nothing with it because it's from illegal activity. And it's like at
some point you have to say, do you know what, Yeah, it's
not what it's it's the materialistic side is like it's not worth you have to
you have to do something you love and and take your your dreams and whatnot
and do it properly, and then you'll find yourself finding that here when the
money comes. The money will be a side effect of the success. Yeah,
not even the main focus. Remind me, when I met Richard Branson
and and I expected to see this man looking very prosperous. Um, it
was a business link thing that they had put together and everyone it was a
meet and greet, and so I was all excited. Man, I put
on the best suit, I had tie everything, you know, I had
a little bit of hair then so I brushed it. Amen, and I
looked. I thought, I looked the part of a businessman. So we're
waiting for him to come in. He walked through the door, and Richard
Branson's inner pair of jeans that was torn, and and and he got trainers.
Um, they didn't look like any brand that I knew. Maybe he
was an expected brand, I don't know, but he just looked like a
regular dude. And and he then then you know, he proceeded to tell
us. So we were asking him, you know, who do you banquets?
You know who do you amend? He said, I don't know.
He said, my wife handles all that that she's a business person. I'm
just the face of the brand, and I just died, and I'm like,
hold on, man, you know all it is the thing we hear
about Richard Briser, Richard Browser. And this guy walked to liked a regular
dude, and he said exactly what you said. He said, for him,
it wasn't about making money. It was an opportunity and he grabbed it
opportunity, and then when he grabbed it, the opportunity started to make money.
And sometimes we put the car before the whole horse. We go chasing
the money and the opportunity shrinks, when really, if you know anything about
being satisfied, the satisfaction that achievement gets you is not when you're sitting down
counting the money. Is actually when you've helped somebody along the way and you
sit down and you said, you know what, man, I feel good
about this, and then that starts making the money for you. And then
people begin to comment, like we're hearing and commenting here throughout this evening about
how you are blessed as young men and how your comments are blessing others.
And to me, that's worth more than the hundred thousand you saw in that
check yesterday. Now, you may not think so because you're gonna need one
hundred thousand problems. But to me, that's worth that much. Ladies and
gents, what do you think? Man? I gotta let these guys go.
What do you think? I just wanted to jump in right away on
the back of that and saying, um, you've just spoken about the value
of a good woman. So um oh no, oh no, I'm not
getting into this with Daniel. I'm not getting this right, Bradson said,
you know, um, it's right here. So that's that's also very important
factor in terms of where our young men stand stand and their futures in real
partnerships. Hey hey, Kelly, Kelly, are you married? Not yet?
Yeah? Okay, okay, Ryan you're married? No? Yeah,
okay, all right, all right, So guys, I'm jumping off Zenya
Now, so how do you guys go about finding a good woman? Man?
That is that I would leave that question to everyone else because I don't
known very tough, very tough Ryan. What about you, man? How
do you go find it a good woman? I think it starts with being
a good man. Oh good, because you know what, I think it's
it's two sides of a coin. Because I think women are scary nowadays because
it's a man, because they have no idea how how much power they have
in a sense where a woman can break a man more so than any any
enemy, any any like. But it's a thing where, yeah, it
starts with being a good man because you can't expect. You can't expect a
perfect wife and X, Y and Z. Then you're not you're not doing
you're not playing your part. I think, um, I think when you
play your part, you can you can expect more. Does that make sense?
As in regards to saying, oh, I don't want you talking to
him and him and him not even but I don't I want you to be
of a certain I want my wife to be of a certain character. I
don't want I don't want my wife to be say or whatnot. But how
can I asker if I'm doing X, Y and that. So I need
to figure myself and then the right woman will will will will sure that you
get what I'm saying. I think I think it's a yeah, you're on
a journey together. I think you need to know that a wife is a
partner, not a trophy. Ha ha yeah, yeah, yeah, a
wife is a partner, not right listen. Man, that's that's a status.
That's a status builder. Put it on your status man. But the
status man, Callid has to go before we comment on the wife being a
trophy, I mean sorry, not a trophy. CALLI has to go,
so cally say goodbye to the listeners. Man. Please, thank you so
much. Thank you for having me. It's been great, honestly, like
the subjects that we touched. Um, great as well. Um. Yeah,
I'll look forward to speaking to you guys again at some point. Great,
definitely, thank you man, God bless you as well. Okay,
bye, thank you all right, Ryan, back to you man. That
what a statement you said, Ryan, What a statement? What a statement?
If is not a trophy? Boy? Um? And you know you
know I like that. I like that, Ryan, because many of us,
um, you know, when I was your age, I was looking
around for women that that looked a certain way. You know, Um,
you want to have them on your arm and you feel date they kind of
they kind of make you the man you are because they look good and all
the rest of it. But I love what you say, man. Many
of us have made mistakes because we were looking for trophies and not a partner
in life. So yeah, yeah, yeah, ladies, what do you
think man? Ryan? And yeah, go ahead, Petro please on personal
experience, Ryan, you're social because I've been married three times and my third
wife, I did not look for her. She just fell in. She
just fell in my life like I was. I was actually on a date
and she came with my niece to get something and we met and it was
just like I just knew. Hold on, Petro, Petro, petrol.
Yeah, you were on a date. I was on a date with somebody
else. Yes, I'm done. I was on a date with somebody else.
Was actually a twin because my wife's a twin. I was on a
day with another twin. I'm done. I was like, hey, I
need this. I need this money because I bought something from her. But
I giving the money back. Later she said, I called my niece.
I went to meet my niece to give her the money. My wife,
my wife, she convinced my wife, and now to drive her to get
the money. I went back to the car, text my niece and said,
yo, who was that? Said to the date, I ain't feeling
good. I need to take you home. Shot her home and went straight
over to my niece's house, and here we are today, sixteen years later,
Pedro, Pedro, Pedro. I mean, like Andy said, there
is no words. Okay, that anyway true, But I mean, but
I'm just talking about what he's talking about in a sense of I wasn't looking
for her. It just happened. And what he said about the trophy and
being a partner, I knew that I want her to be my partner.
I didn't want and she was to total i eposite of what I was in
the She was Baptist, you know, she was total opposite of what as
a certain events we will go towards, so I think, and my family
was very up accepting of her because there had never been a type like,
you know, well she's Baptist, you shouldn't have date her or anything like
that. So that helped. But even if that, even if they had
a problem, that still want to stop me because I just I just saw
something in her. When you meet somebody you see something in them, you
go with it because most times your gut is going to tell you if it's
right or wrong. Yeah, especially if you have God leading your life.
God will show you this is right, this is wrong, and you work
and like you said, no, she wasn't perfect. I wasn't perfect,
and we just work to those issues and like I said, sixteen years later,
here we are. So I would just agreeing with Ryan when he said
about that whole yeah, because it's you know, you never know how you're
going to meet your spouse. You never know you can meet That's the weirdest
way to meet somebody is on another date, meet your wife that you know
your future wife and you know, yeah you you yeah, yeah. Okay,
I'm not gonna comment. I'm gonna need that one alone and I'm gonna
eat that one alone because I got so much I can say. But nevertheless,
I'm glad your focus was on your date that night. Amen. She
was born anyway, so that I was probably telling me anyway to give.
Oh God. It was like, I hope how you out on this date?
Like really, I hope you don't listened to that BIS Radio London today.
She's white and she's not luck. You said the wrong tack. He's
head the wrong thing. I'm saying, my white girl, and she's not
listening to the implication because I meant it in the sense of being inventors.
Okay, just she was not that type okay, okay, okay, I'll
just check it because I was gonna say a lot of lights up get high
percentage of my listeners white, So I mean no disrespect to white people.
No problem. I'll send you all the all the mail when it comes in,
Benjo, I send it all the male um Andy and Zenia partners trophies
talk to me for me. Very true. But I mean going forward to
before that statement, I liked the fact Rhyme said about being a man,
and I guess that's potentially subjective, but I'm taking it from a positive as
saying from the positive things, and I think it is that whole point about
you. You know, you're playing a part, you're in a partnership,
so you you know you're equal in what you're doing. You're working together,
you're working as a team. I think that's really important, um, you
know, and not being I like the I do. I do like that
in terms of not being a trophy, because again that sounds very shallow in
some respects. I guess being a partner a much deeper connection. Um,
you know. So that's a really that's a really positive thing from a young
man to be hearing that's that's that's good. And you know, and as
Pedro said, you don't be God beats in your life. You know,
if you're praying specifically, you know, think about the qualities of a woman
that you would like to see, and you feel that God's going to be
leading you that way, then you know, God will, God will bring
someone your way. It probably has it probably has right, right, no,
right, maybe happy, don't can't ride out, you know what I
mean? He probably had. Amen. Amen, Ryan, don't look at
me like that. En. Yeah, you're thinking I'm waiting for Ryan to
comment. No, no, no, I don't want I don't want Ryan
to comment. I don't want Ryan to comment right now. I said what
I said, Now, Zenya, what are you saying? I mean you
saw me. I was clapping when he made the point. Um, if
you want a good woman, then you've got to be a good man.
That I mean that's often overlooked. Um, you know we want ten men
that are ten and nine, but we want to be four and three in
terms of our own standards and our own commitment. Um, if you want
to ten, you've got to be a ten. That's right, that's right,
saying yeah, that's right. Say say with your chests rum. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, but but I just wanted to. I mean it
was kind of humor on the back of what you said about Richard Branson.
But that's an important conversation to have with our young men as well. You
know, who we have by our side can make the difference, It can
make or break us in terms of our own, um, own futures.
And I think that's an important discussion to have and for the kingdom. Yes,
yeah, absolutely, And I like what Pedro said, and um,
Bryan as well. I don't know if I like what Pedro. I don't
know if I like what I'm trying to I'm finding the part very small part.
Yeah, gonna get everybody fired, everyone fired. Um, you know
you've got to You've got to have God's direction and that as well, No,
without a doubt, without doubt. And I think I think the point
Page was making is very true, and that is when when God is leading
the one that you are to be with, um, it shouldn't be a
hard job to find out who that person is. However, if we look
at Jacob and Leah and Rachel, it may be a hard job because Jacob
had to work fourteen years or more for that woman that God had promised him.
And sometimes you gotta put in the work, Ryan, you gotta put
in the work. Amen, Amen, good, good, So listen,
UM, let's chop it up. We got a few minutes to go.
I want us to really look at what was spoken about and ran feel free.
If you need to leave, you can or you can stay with us
as we chop it up a team. As as as we move forward.
We have just over twenty five minutes to go. There are any comments coming
through us around we didn't share at the top, um, not that I've
seen. Oh yes, yes, yes, sorry, M keep God in
the mix. Once God is in the mix, God makes things happen positively
and one can reach their true potential in life. So once God is in
the mix, they can reach true potential in life. I think that was
the last one that rolled in well, and I have a question. Yeah,
I'm scared now, Pedro go ahead. No no, no, no,
no. It was more for Ryan because we're talking about gun crime and
knives and stuff. He's talk about keeping the knives in the kitchen and I
was all this week, I've been thinking about that, and what he said
was I had that same kind of thought in my head. But I was
trying to think about like as for you Pastoray and myself, but we fought
back in the day. You just fought with your fist, right and then
if you lost, you lost. And I was trying to like think when
did knives it comes such a was it society? Was it TV? Was
it like glorified? Was it? Um? Was it like put out there
and say like instead of using your fist, now use a knife or use
a gun? Like the TV as TV grew to what it is now movies
you know now now they don't really fight anymore. It's just they walk in
or you bought the famous phase you bought a gun to a knife fight.
You bought a knife to a gun fight. You know, like it's it's
it's changed at some point. That was that something while you was going up
Brian that you was watching. Did that affect you in that sense of instead
of using your fist you just said, you know, I'm just gonna use
a knife or I'm gonna use another weapon. I guess that would be my
question. I don't know, Um, I don't know. I feel like,
see me, I've never I've never been in a life a knife fight
or anything like, I can't say, but I know that it's definitely like
you do feel like you do have that phase in your life where you feel
like, oh, maybe I should carry a knife. Everyone's got a knife
and whatnot. But it comes to a point where you sort of saying,
do you know what, Yeah, the people that gets stabbed and are in
knife fights and whatnot. And as much as it's hard to say, as
much as it's it's not nice to say this, a lot of them are
involved in things that they know they shouldn't be in a sense where it's not
often. It's not often that someone that that isn't involved in anything or or
hasn't put himself in places that he shouldn't be gett or um or is in
a or whatever. So it's sort of like the world, how do I
say this? It's like, the people that generally get stabbed are people that
have involved themselves in a life where getting stabbed in I think, yeah,
does that mean sense? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And and like you
said, it's not it's not everybody, but the percentages are very high on
those. As a matter of fact, there is a whole slogan about the
knife you carry is probably the knife that's going to kill you. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, So so there is that. Definitely that like eighty percent
they were saying, or people that die are people that are involved in those
kinds of lifestown. The other twenty people that are bystanders or wrong mistaken identity
or or you know, something like that. So definitely, I hear that.
I hear that, Ryan, I do hear that, and I do
I do hear that, and and respect that that a lot of people are
involved in illegal activity and end up getting themselves in a sticky situation. You
got to fight to get the way out, and of course then murders happen,
lives are lost, and all those kind of you were saying something.
That's an interesting point though, and they can't be overlooked that there are so
many young men and women that carry the weapons because they feel they have to
because the person around around the corner has one. Yeah, you know,
and again it's it's this glorified image of of of being I don't know,
men or much or men or whatever it might be, and you've got to
be carrying a weapon. You have to represent on the corner, in the
hood or whatever. Um and I don't know Ryan made when Ryan said about
making you know, coming back to what the true purpose of the knife was.
I mean, I've never given that any thought. But we've got to
change the way things are viewed and how are young people spend their time and
what they're engage in. And I think um Kalen mentioned that as well,
having sport and support and um, you know, community endeavors and so forth,
so that we're taking them off the street and taking them out of that
lifestyle, you know, taking them away from that sort of thing and giving
them other other ideas and other things to put their time and their energies in.
And that's I think very very important because we're not going to move the
needle unless we do that. And what I was saying, what I was
thinking when when when when when you made that point, Um, I was
actually thinking that we have to, um because everything around us we can use
as weapons, Like you were saying, everything could be dangerous. Therefore we
have to It's about changing the thinking so that and and ability to make the
right choices. So even though like you, like Kellied was saying, there's
a prayer scissors, you know, in the in the place where they in
the fashion thing. But I only think about picking up and stabbing one another,
So why should they think that about knives? And so we got,
you know, in our own children, in our own circles, in our
own community, we got to change just thinking they're thinking, and the ability
to make the right choices because it's right, and take away this cowardly approach
to um. You know, Um, you want to fight me, so
I gotta fight him, but I gotta kill him first. I just believe
that's cowardly. I believe the way to deal with those things and the way
to be show your strength is to say, you know what, I'm not
getting involved in this one. You know, I'm gonna walk away. I'm
not gonna do nothing. I'm gonna walk away, and I'm gonna trust God
on this one. To me, that takes more backbone than to fight,
you know, with ego, because a lot of it is ego and you're
fighting and uh and or that brings me on Ryan and Ryan, Yeah,
drill, that's drill. There's drill contribute. I think drill. I used
to listen to a lot of drill, but I think drill is I think
drill is drible Nowadays rubbish. Honestly, I think everyone's just saying the same
thing. I just think you're you're you're First of all, most of you
are lying because it's not even like this isn't the world we live in,
like because when you go outside and it's not, it's not what you are
saying. So I don't I can't believe. I can't take you that seriously.
But not only that, it's like there's only so many times, there's
only so many times you can say the same thing, like to be a
slightly different, you've changed the flows, but you are just saying the same
and it's just sort of like it just sort of becomes like background noise at
this point, Like it's sort of like I don't know, like I used
to like drill, Like I said, there was some artists id for oh
you're good, you're hard, you're hard, And now I just think everyone
just everyone's just so met Like it's like I don't I don't want to listen
to dri anymore. I'd rather listen to to I don't know anything trying.
It's Try'm more happy. Yeah, yeah, not even I listen to gospel,
but not even necessarily gospel. I rather isn't like Avici or or like
even like and even it's I just feel like you're just everyone's just stabbing him,
stab him and think, yeah, it's not it's not even it's not
even music anymore. It's just everyone is just remained the worst thing they can
think of. And I'm thinking this is basically horror music. Like it's like,
you're not you're not creative, you're not doing something musically, You're just
doing it's just met that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah definitely.
And the reason I'm asking and I love the way you talked about it.
The reason you're asking because you know a lot of young men that I listened
to chat at two of them with me today in the car as I was
driving, and a lot of them will listen to Drill and and but yet
they say it doesn't affect them. But when I listened to and No,
don't get me wrong, there is a genre of music that has the drill,
the drill music, and I have no problem with that if that's what
you want to listen to. But when it's telling you the way out of
this situation is to kill somebody, I gotta begin to wonder at some stage
if you listen to that over and over again. Surely that no, I'll
say it is drill can definitely affect your way of thinking and you annoying it.
But it will make you sometimes if you make you a bit more angry,
a bit more like. We'll be listening to it and you'll think,
oh, like you sort of feel like the same way, Like in the
same way when you watch like a bad boy movie or whatnot, you feel
like you're the guy you want to be that cool guy. But at the
same time, obviously you don't translate it into life so directly, but when
it's just in your ears constantly, like it definitely has enough I think,
yeah, yeah, um, And you know what, you look like you're
about to say something and you went back on me. Yeah, go away
from that slightly. But I guess it's um. I guess it moves in
nicely in terms of how does your faith and God play a part? Is
where your where your life is going now? Because I see you said at
one point you went a crossroads. You're recently being baptized and made a commitment
for the God's calling. I mean a lot of what we've been talking about
it is about making the right decisions, the right choices. So how is
that you know, and being a Christian I suppose now as well. I
don't know where that's easy difficult. Some young people may see it as that.
So how is it for you from a spiritual perspective? I think,
you know, it's it's strange because the Christian community is actually so welcoming,
Like everyone is so welcoming. Like I've been to like a few of my
friends have said, I'll come to my church, come to my church.
And even in a church where you feel and not all churches have the same
message and whatnot. But it's like I just feel like the body of Christ
is sort of it's sort of it's it's mysterious and wonderful because it's so like
it's just you sort of fine. You just sort of see Christ in all
the different Christians and like spiritually like you sort of see, okay, who
I see how Christ is is working here and here and here, and it's
just sort of like a I don't know, once you've once you sort of
choose to give your life to Christ, I feel like there's no way you
can just turn away. Like it's sort of just like a it's something you
can't really explain. It's sort of like a just wow, like being a
Christian. It's so amazing, even if other people don't understand it, and
even if they can say why, even if the people on the outside may
think why would you be a Christian or why would you day as well that
it's just sort of a like a once you get to know Christ, you
know, you wouldn't want anything else exact makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, I like it. Oh, a great question, Angela, And
I like your response Ryan, beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Um. It's interesting
because I forgot to mention it when I was introducing Khalid, because he's Muslim
and and you know, we talk about God all the time, and as
we sit there sometimes you know, thirty minutes or so, we're in the
sauna after workout and we're talking and he's he's you know, he's proper going
in on, wanting to know more and sharing his experience. And then I
began to think, man, that you know, the body of Christ is
interesting or the body of God is interesting. Because he had no problem when
I asked him to come on this platform, knowing that we Adventists and we
are Adventist Radio, to come on and share his experience because he felt that
he's speaking on behalf of God. He felt that this was a God environment
and he could be safe. He could be safe, And I thought that
was amazing when he was communicating that to me, that he could be safe
in this environment, whereas I'm not sure if I would feel that way in
his own environment. But I'm glad Ryan that you feel that the body of
Christ is a warm place, because a lot of times we get a lot
of negatives. So I'm glad to hear that coming from a young person.
Amen. Amen, Amen, Amen, talk to that doctor and Jelly.
You asked the question doctor that yeah, no, And I was going to
say that's that is really encouraging to hear because sometimes this pastor says, we
sometimes do get a bit of a negative rap. But what keeps you motivated?
Inspired? I mean, we've talked about having good people around you,
and you're talking about the body of Christ. You know what keeps you?
Because so you know, I'm sure we could all say I think sometimes being
a Christian, as exciting as awesome as it is, sometimes can be very
difficult, can be very challenging, especially when life gets in the way.
As it were, so you know what kind of what helps you to kind
of you know, stay strong and keep moving, keeping me keeping it moving
and keep going forward and staying positive. Yeah, I don't. I don't
know how to explain it, but like I feel like spiritually I won't let
me go. Like like in the same sware, sometimes you find yourself like
you might find yourself doing something that you know you shouldn't, but it's like
you know you shouldn't, and it's like you just you just catch yourself and
you're like, I don't, I don't even want to do this, but
I don't even want to be here. I don't even like it's sort of
like a no, I'm Tristan, I'm a man of good do I don't.
I don't want this. I don't want this for myself. I know
I shouldn't be here or I know I shouldn't be doing this, or I
know I should have talked about this, and you sort of just find yourself
catching yourself like this isn't me anymore, This isn't me, Like is that
mix sense? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I'm glad what
you I like what you say about God catching you guys. YEA let you
go. Yeah, he's not gonna let you go. Man, You're not
gonna let go, you know. Um And I like that Pedro where you
got no. I just went off to um. I was just agree with
what he said, Like, um, I just totally agree what he just
said about when you have God in your life. You know, you really
have God in your life, when you just know that, when you know
you're about to do something wrong and he just catches like he won't let you
go. He won't let you go too far out out the box. He
kind of keeps you in the box and he just keeps you know, try
to keep it on straight, on narrow. But as also God is is
the main, the main force in that. But I'm impressed because he is.
He's making that conscious effort every time also to say this is the type
of man I want to be, or this is the type of person I
want to be. Young man I want to be and I'm gonna be this
way no matter what anybody else says. So I'm impressed by just his Like
I said by Kelly, he has just his positive energy about him that when
he talks, you just hit nothing but positive. You don't hit nothing negative
coming out everything is positive, and I think it's hard for men nowadays to
have that positive all the time and everything they say or everything that they do,
because you know, sometimes they look at us and they just think that
we're They just think of us as negative. Yeah, as a black man,
they just think of it as negative. They just think of us always
trying to cause trouble, always trying to cause an issue. And when he
talks, just looking at I don't get that feeling from him. So you
know, I'm just impressed by that. We've got a couple of comments coming
in um Um and we're talking about the gunner knife crime situation. What about
the innocent people who try to intervene and defend those who are mugged or being
attacked because of area code or postcode as a way to cause an attack with
a knife and innocently get stabbed and horrifically get killed. And of course we
did say that there was a twenty percent different different, yeah difference, And
so we did say that, so there out there will be those that will
be innocent in this whole process. But the majority and they always say,
man, you carry a knife, that knife has the potential to cure you.
And then the next comment says, this knife culture needs to go back
to where it came from. Fights can happen, sadly, but what happened
to fist and no weapon? And the Bible says no weapon formed against me?
Right yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so we we and I
agree, I agree with that that that listener that it needs to be done
with man and we need to really instill the power to choose and make the
right choices as opposed to just taken. And this is the issue. Taking
the guns and the knives off the streets, it's not going to solve the
issue. You know. It's about changing thinking, which of course deals with
emotions, and of course change his behavior. If you don't change thinking,
as Rome and twelve tells us, then we are in a bad situation.
Another comment just rode in years ago someone got stabbed to death just because he
had a bike and that person wanted a bike that that person wanted and he
didn't want to give it to them. Yeah, they're definitely innocent by standards.
We can't yeah, you can't get away from that. Yeah yeah,
yeah, But but there is a high percentage of people that are involved in
that kind of lifestyle. That God forbid will lose their life because they're in
that culture. And and and you know, whether we like it or not,
that is just part of what I mean, what served up. But
we still need to change the mindset. The issue is not the knife.
The knife and the guns are not the issue. The issue is the thinking
mindset of providing alternatives. Yeah, that just opened, uh is a box
up climb. I don't know if you're familiar with with that program. They've
just opened up one in my area, Okay. And it's just about taking
young people off the streets and you know they're going to be doing boxing programs
and at the back of that you've got little rooms where you can come and
talk if you've got an issue. It's just about providing outlets. Yeah,
and alternatives yea for people, for our young people. And can't stress that
enough. In Um when I went to Gambia, a meta artists there that
was with us. He's from here, reggae artists called scratch Alous never forget
his name, and just it was brilliant scratch but Scratchulous had a song that
he had put out especially for the tour that we were on in in Gambia
and it was called resetting the mindset, and he went in on on Romans
twelve. I mean, he was preaching theology in his little reggae song,
but it was powerful because again he was reminding us that we need to reset.
Romans traveled by one and two says by renewing the mind it can be
transformed, and that should be the goal of all of us. And Angie,
I know you work with young people or children. That's where it begins.
It's too late and it's not too late. Let me rephrase it.
It is a difficult thing to fight with teenagers at that you know, when
they get to fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, and tell them not to carry
something, a lot of them are saying, well, I'm in an area
that's bad. I've got friends around me that carry things. I've got people
that don't like me, so I'm going to carry my stuff. But at
those young ages, we need to begin the process of teaching and training the
minds of our young people. Guys, we've got a few minutes left,
five minutes in actuality, any other comments before we wrap up this evening.
Someone says true talk pastoray, thank you for that always fine talking point.
Informative, thoughtful, and provoking. Amen. Amen, Amen, Amen,
Amen, Man. I'm gonna put that in a jingle, Amen, Jose
Ways our jingle anyway played the ingle, Hey, let's go what's going on?
What's going on? What's going on? But as we wrap up today,
what's on your minds? Um, let's let's think about highlights or comments
that we we we we heard today from Ryan and from Callid and from ourselves
and our listeners that you're taking away Pedro, Angie, Zenia and Ryan,
what are you taking away from this? I think that UM, through us
all just talking about us opened up the communication that can maybe help a young
person that's listening to this program that maybe going through is that same problem that
threw something that they may be struggling with, to show them that there's other
people out there that they could reach out to. This the people out there
that's gone through the issues they've gone through and if they need help that hopefully
this program would have helped them to to open up and maybe say something so
they don't go down that road of destruction that we're trying to, you know,
help them to avoid it. UM. Communication and I definitely with Ryan
and Killy was saying about the community outreach. Just changing the mindset. I
think that's the main thing, is just changing the mindset of men and women
to realize that you don't need to use a knife or a gun to protect
yourself, or you don't need to use a weapon. You can use you
you can talk, you can talk your way out of it. You can
you know, discuss it. It makes more of a man to discuss this
way out of a situation, then it is the fightest way of a situation.
So that would be my comment. Okay, all right, ladies,
alright, I think for me this entire program, I kept going back to
this this um quote my doctor Sisum, why fitting when you were born to
stand out? Um? And what are you thinking of that? The thin
end of that quote, but that kind of point that that's just resonated with
me today, you know, from all that Kald and Ryan has been saying,
um. And for me, it's about being godly and being daring enough
to be different, you know. And I hope that these young men will
continue to champion that and just be the light in their communities. Thank you
so much, Ryan and the Kaladere still listening. Thank you so much.
Yeah, and I'm kind of going to echo that because I think I was
literally going to sort of, you know, keep the conversation going, you
know, talk to each other. Men are unfortunately and they're touristly known,
but not necessarily sharing and talking. But as we're trying to hardlight this month
that you know, it's really important that you do speak to each other.
You're doing courage, you do motivate, you check in on each other and
see how people are doing, and ultimately put God first because God's always got
your back. Um. So yeah, and don't be afraid to be different
and to stand out and for the right reasons. Great, great, great,
ran, What's what? What's on your mind? What is the takeaway
in a few moments that you can mention? I think to go away.
I think seeing hearing everyone discuss, it's like we all have we're all in
different places, but we've all walked down a similar road. Yes, And
I think it's it's seeing that that God is working, like you remember that
even though Carly's Muslim, I think he'd remember those the initial covenant of those
who blessed Abraham will be blessed. So I think I think even even if
you're even if you're a Muslim Christian. I think I think we remember that
God loves us when he said he said even in your tribulations, like like
when it is tough, when you do think there's no way, I turned
to him because he can always make away and he'll love you and he'll for
you. Wow. Wow, I think I think I think that's that's that's
something that a lot of people just from should always keep there, is that
good can always make a way. Yes, like always always. I love
it. I love it, man. I tell you, when I grow
up, I'm gonna be like you and everybody but um but for me man
Um. What I'm taking away is um Ryan's trophy, UM statement about not
a trophy but a partner. Um. Absolutely, and the way it came
in was just brilliant and um. And you know, UM, young people
and even all the ones, we need to understand that this is about God
and UM and he has got to be relationships and everything else. He's got
to be in control. The minute we leave him and we start operating on
our own understanding, we're going to run into problems because probably let us know
that we have got to lean on God's understanding and in all our ways acknowledge
God and He will direct our paths. London. Father, we come to
the end of our program, but we don't want to end by just moving
away. We don't want to pray for our young people, particularly Ryan and
Carry who shared with us today. Lord, I pray that you will be
with both of these young men to continue to be strong and to stand strong,
continue to watch over them in every aspect of their lives, and may
they be totally sold out to You. Be with all of our young people,
our children, our nieces and nephews, our brothers and sisters, and
I pray that they'll make the right choices as they move forward. From this
moment on. We love you, and we thank you, and we thank
you for being with a throat the year here at Talking Point, and the
blessings that our listeners have been and we have been to them. In Christ's
name, we pray Amen Amen. Adventist Radio London inspiration for the song h