Larry Boddy. I'm James Lot Junior and it was fifty plus. Always come
on here and tell you little life lessons I'm learning and things I'm going through
on this show. Good morning. I. As some of you guys know,
I've been going through a whole caregiving experience this years. My stepdad and
my mom m and take care of houses and things. Well some of you
may know this also that last week my aunt Gina collapsed and was an induced
coma for a minute and I'm one more than a minute a day, and
we probably had a beating ulsers and all stuff. So she was talked brought
to the hospital and it just so happened. She someone who doesn't have any
kids or grandkids or people like like living, which lives alone. Her dog
ran out, Breezy. I think guys heard me online. Tomall Breezy,
try and get her together too. So I because I helped her a lot,
and I know where everything is, and I of the dog and the
house and I live not far away. I was brought in to you kind
of take care of the house stuff and the dog. While there was two
other people who would take care of all the hospital stuff and contacting certain people
and that kind of thing. So we were like a tag We were like
a tag team. And that's why I've been most of the week and busy
dealing with deal with that. I'm trying to manage that do stuff after a
year, checking out my mother all that kind of stuff. It's it's been
a very long week. I'm exhausted beyond belief. But it's come to a
pass. And that's why I'm going to share this with you. This is
something that I learned stuff all time, and I said, I doing a
caregiversume next weekend twenty four You guys, you should come to it. Whether
you're a kicker or not, you should come to it. It's ten dollars.
We're going to do all kinds of stuff. I am. I'm excited
for because it's gonna be there's things I've learned so much. But one of
the things I'm gonna share with you guys a little bit is what do you
have to let go and not let go? Like my aunt's not dead,
she's alive, but let go. And so when you realize you are not
in control and you've let go of certain things, and I've had you up
with my mom a little bit of some stuff, not in a major in
scale, but there's a couple of issues that we don't agree on, and
we've let go for right now. But when someone's whole care, which is
something totally different, and they insist on do anything a certain way, you
think they're not good. I've had learned let go. So here's the example.
So yesterday we're getting reports that my aunt was switched from one hospital to
another and to a hospital chain that I don't care for him that and I
said, I just went through this with my mom, I said, Dad,
this year. They have a history of barely treating you into getting you
out there, throwing you out, get out, get out, get out,
get out. I don't like that. Of course, it's not a
big like you know, and they don't care about it. Who's been that's
hold on the show by itself. But I'm gonna call that place out starchily,
kay, But I'm gonna do anything there. Um. But with this
case, we're thinking, oh, my aunt was switched over to you this
personal hospital. I was only there for a day and didn't would kick her
out or releasing her. Now at this point, my aunt can't walk as
I'm walked in like a week, I can't walk. Um has you know,
still has issues. We're waiting for certain things to come up. So
where me and the team are tag team are ready to come down there.
And I said, literally just went through this. I'll try to buy us
some time because I know whenever ready to release somebody, they're going to recent
body as again, how to give up just what you think you're let go.
But I was like, so you could buy a day and then like
get her house in order, because where a house is set up, every
entrance has stairs. It's like I never I never even noticed that. That's
my brol. That's like I never we noticed that. It's like we're looking
around going yeah, every reason entrance, side door, the back door,
the front door, there's a rapping the back door kind of two. But
there's stairs inside the house in the sun rooms, I guess there's sharp narrow
hallways, the toilets, you know whatever behind there. So I was like,
and I want to get some supplies for him because we know because we
know what she needs. Were like, we know somebody need a cane,
give my folding walker, I think for the toy. So she candess a
low toilet and we just my brother who works for a place caught Nova Medical
products. I looked them up. What's gonna help me out with that?
So we're just trying. We're trying, like you know, we get but
the biggest thing was coverage. Who's gonna be there with her because at least
the first obviously the first five or six days, you need somebody there in
twenty or something because you can't do anything. He's like, just gets anything
happens or you fall or whatever, just he has somebody there. So we're
coming in, ready for bear, ready to go. We'll talk to your
nurses, doctors, whatever. We all office get there and it is clear
up I'm gonna go details because that's her business, but it is clear that
she's the one driving it and wants to go home. And she made it
very clear to us and very sternly, uh and my can and my feeling
stubbornly, but very sternly let us know she needs to go home today and
she's not telling us the reason why, but she needs to come today.
And that's it, I mean literally basically, and we're all in shock.
We started asking some basic questions like well, who's going to take care of
like because some of us couldn't do it because we were busy to other stuff,
or we couldn't do it. So we're like, well, who's gonna
take And she was very like I would do myself and just the course of
the next I would say next ten minutes or so. To me, she
didn't sound like herself. I don't know if you're gonna come into something or
she's denial or whatever. I was like, some people didn't, you know,
maybe a secret life or something like. We started laughing. But that
all part is not even really the point of the story. That point of
the story is. I realized that that because I was getting upset and she
was gonna stippy with all of us, and I was like, wait a
minute, I had I stopped for a second. I said, wait a
minute to myself, this is not my mother. I have no legal recourse
or action for her. I can't I can't stop or do anything. And
I'm still caretaking my mom at some level. I'm stopped because I got somebody
else I'm doing with. I'm still watching two households like I need a pullback.
I found myself being upset and smart with her a little bit, and
I was like I don't want to do that, and I'm like, I
saw nothing, and she was very adamant. But if I was looking at
each other like we don't we're all in showing like what what is she doing?
Like we don't like And I'm just gonna figure out when I get home.
And seeing all these things, you're like, they don't make any sense.
But my thing was for me, Hey, let I go. I
did what I exploded I was supposed to do. For the whole week,
I looked for the dog. Didn't find a dog. So everybody was asking,
thank you so much, I'm done looking for the dog. So I
spent six days where it's gone, Dog's gone, um, I said.
I secured her house, checked out her house, make sure that everything was
still. The mail was in the newspakeer she gets newspapers delivered. Yes,
still these were newslevers like just beIN what you deliver them. So I used
to read it. Um, her trash cancer, Secure the doors, you
know. I made sure that her wallet, I brought her volunteer. I
gave her a phone charger and her phone. So so I did my job
as a great nephew and as a person who asked you manity and his brains.
I was like that. One was like, James, you did what
you could do. You know, you made extra keys. I'll sto you
did. You did you're supposed to do. You did it. I would
do it again. I wouldn't. I mean, I have no regrets.
I would do it again. Um. But I was like, it's time
to pull out kids, and so I said, here's your keys to your
house, here's your phone, tree whatever. I grabbed my person, I
said time to go. I left. I walked out, and I kind
of stormed out, but I walked out and I texted my the person I
was with, and said, Okay, I'm not crying back up. We'll
coming back in. When to take your time whenever you're ready. UM,
come on down, we'll go because I have some stuff in her car and
we're gonna go to good stuff together. I gainst some eat together. But
my whole thing was like, why am I pushing them so hard when this
person is already is pushing I'm just I'm like, Okay, you said you're
gonna figure it out. I guess you gonna figure it out. So all
that, But I know at the moment I was resensing her I was upset.
I feel like I did all this stuff for you. We all did
all this stuff for you. We care about you, all this stuff,
and I was upset out. So I had to get over that. I
had to get over that. It's like, Jame, it's not about you.
You would have done it anyway, it didn't matter. If it doesn't
matter, if she had no reaction, you don't regret doing it. You're
yeah, you're a human being, you're here to help and you love her.
So that's the number one thing. So once I got out of myself
and just said okay, here we go, then I was good to go.
And then m and then I was like, my mother, can't we
calmed down on that one. And then I was like, okay, so
we're okay, We're good. Okay, So that's that and now we're going
to um move off my life. I am not betting or backwards anymore to
tell my brother today to take back the ship that he bought for her,
because I'm like, she says she's gonna figure it out. She's gonna figure
it out. So to my knowledge, I didn't check all right. To
my knowledge, she I guess found somebody to stay with her last night,
I guess, and hopefully it worked out and she need where she needs,
because I mean, I'm not giving you all the details. So that we
were were everybody was fighting with her yesterday. I mean it was like we
were asking this credit. She was pushing back on everything and we're all just
trying to help. So I was like, yep, I'm good. So
I will check on it in a few days and see how she's doing.
And as a loving nephew, but my involvement, I pulled out so and
again I said, I'll regret it. It was a rough week. But
so I went through this three times this year, which is too much for
anybody handle. But I'm like, back to me, James, back to
James lot Junior. So, um, I did what I supposed to do,
and I'm proud of myself, and I don't I said, don't regret
it. And but it's as well all says, you have to kind of
step you have to stand stand backs like Stevie Nicks. You have to stand
back and go Okay, let people be who they are obviously, and and
what's gonna happen is when they find and you know things if which just happened
and things go wrong with them. That's all I mean, that's on them.
And if she called me crying and upset, of course I can help
her. That's just how it is. You just don't need you at some
level. But me going out of my way anymore to do stuff that's done,
I was like, I was a good nephew. I did what I
supposed to do. A lot of folks would have done what I've done.
And people we had, she had a whole team behind her, were wonderful.
We wouldn't make things easier for her, but it's her life, and
I love. It's about control. A lot of it's about it. I
know all these other dynamics are going on that have nothing to do with me,
so again taking me out of it and not adding to it. And
I'm glad I didn't say anything regrettable. I'm glad I didn't go off on
her. I was like, that would have that would have not done nothing.
So I'm doing a little better today. I'm exhausted. I'm kind of
trying to pull myself together, but you know, I said, I'm I
will I will assist her if she calls or needs it. I will check
on her here and there, we'll see how it goes, and I'm going
to continue pray that nothing serious happens to him. And why is Joe Anne
sending me ten thousand messages for stuff for um, I'm not shopping at Joe
Anne's day anyway. UM. So that's kind of what's going on here.
So especially that with you, it's it's sometimes we get caught up in everything,
but we have to pull out sometimes too, and it's okay to do
that, especially when you realized you're where your place is and all this,
and sometimes your place is not that's not joe place U. So I mean
that's just it just isn't yours in your place. So I'm blind, like,
thank you, I think I think I got it. Um. So
I'm the fast over here. I'm James H. James fifty plus. I
love that you guys watch this or listen to it, and I love hearing
what your feedback is and what you think. UM, it's very interesting,
So please do that, like share, subscribe wherever you find this. UM.
I'm fifty plus and I'll see you next time.