Welcome to softcore history. What is up? Welcome back to softcore History.
I am your host for the week, Rob Fox, joined as always by
a dancing Jake Goldman and Dan Rogester. Happy fourth of July holiday, whatever
you wanna fucking call it. This is this is a getting released on the
third. Yeah, so I guess happy? Uh happy? Just fourth week?
Well though, that's happy. We won the Battle of Gettysburg. Gettysburg
was won on July third, eighteen sixty three. Actually, this is the
one hundred and sixtieth anniversary. What are you doing? This is over Britain.
We're talking about Britain. While we won, we won a lot of
important stuff. Actually we didn't win shit on July fourth. July fourth was
like I declare bankruptcy the Michael Scott name. You know what I mean.
It's like, oh, you declare dependence that we still had to go actually
fucking get it. Yeah, Jake, i'd like how you uh uvered your
microphone? Oh sorry, I saw you looking at me, like what the
fuck? You? And Rob just have like the hardest struggles. I have
no mic presence for like where it should be. All my experience is taking
it off a stand and delivering hot fire jokes. I want to lave the
laugh factory. Yeah, I want to laugh, giggle. Hut. I
know this is bantery, but you have always threatened Dan threatens he with lave,
and you're like, oh no, don't threaten me with convenience. Well,
his wife did leave a review yesterday, saw that I saw. I
saw too much banter, too much gabbin. Yeah, we got a one
star. So if you could do as a favorite and cancel out that one
star with like ten and five star reviews, that would be great. I
tried to scrub it. What doesn't work. Yeah, it happens. Apple,
Just to leave five stars and write a review, we'll read some fun
we I like to wait every couple of weeks to read them, just so
they stack up. But if you write a review, we'll give you a
shout out. Also on Spotify, it's just just a five star rating.
There's no comments or whatever. You can leave a little comment on each episode
that we personally can see but nobody else can. Right. You love that
there's some devastating things. There's some terrible thing. I've never seen them,
and I want to know. It's like TFM comments section pretty gnarly, Jake
is ugly, Jake is jew. There's a lot of Jake Jew. It's
just actually angrier than that, to be honest, it's and it's that nothing,
but it's just at the show. And then also we have a Patreon
Patreon dot com slash Software History two extra episodes every week five dollars a month
for an entire back catalog that is just growing and growing and growing, all
evergreen shit, maybe a topical joke here there. Episode will drop Wednesday,
and it's on the year fifteen twenty one. It's all I'm given away.
And look, if you haven't listened to last week's episode, you'll hear the
best blues songs you've ever heard in your life. God, I loved that
shit. That was so much fun. I'm playing that for Katie. A
lot of positive feedback from that from that one. I just wish. I'm
sad I didn't discover the dirty blues until I was married, because I would
have made shave them dry my first dance with my mom. Oh my god,
I am exclusively only playing dirty blues when I have sex now. Yeah,
yeah, get her in the mood, was it, Lucille Bogan?
Yeah, yeah, look her up that and then I think, Harry roy
Mark, Sure, oh that's Aces, broy you nailed that was Aces.
That was so good. And then of course we brought it home with the
Cocksucker's Ball. Oh, rotten cocksuckers ball. If they weren't all dead,
I would pay one. I would have it put on a softcore history event
and have one of them. Why don't we put out kind of like our
own Christmas version of that Dirty Blues, a dirty Blues, dirty Blues Christmas
album, rotten Saw. Mommy fucking sent Clause to look out for that in
December. We'll be putting that out, maybe November December. I think,
actually, I think between me and Rob and you fucking we could totally knock
that out of the park. I think, yeah, yeah, but I
think we should do a calendar as well, Oh like a fireman calendar.
What if we did an advent calendar? Advant coundar be dope, like little
just things, stupid things, Well, adv't calendar with history facts. Actually,
it would be fun to source like someone that could make a holy prepos,
a holy foreskin basically like just little twenty five four skins. Yeah,
no, just like little tiny trinkets from our cannon. Basically that makes sense,
like a prepis and like a little stone dick and a little stone dick
from Tarahun. We can do that. But I'm talking a shirtless for a
twenty twenty four calendar. I could get just take your shirt off. If
you want people to see you with your shirt off, you can take it
off. You're on video right Chester on Instagram. Dan just wants me to
get hot too, so we can do we just pretty much. Um.
But yeah, so let's get into this week's episode. Obviously, like I
said that, it's July third. American Independence is celebrated on July fourth.
This week is presumably if you're listening this episode, you were either you're probably
on the way to or from a Independence Day party. We're recovering were recovery.
It could be the fifth, could be the third, could be the
fourth. Maybe it's the morning. I'm actually analytics this week. Let's see
how many people are listening after the fact. I agreed, Um, But
so today, obviously we're gonna get a little topical. We're gonna talk about
the American Revolution and what caused it. You guys know what caused the American
revolution um taxes T T T taxes, I think just bad tea bad T.
Yes, that's that's low T low low tea, cause I think T
was actually be high tea, well low TI on the Brits high te taxes.
Yeah, it's yes, that's we we solved it um. From my
understanding too, it was mostly peaceful riot. It was totally that was just
people demonstrating. Look, I've said it before and I'll say it again.
The Boston massacre was a justified police shooting. Man, you're such a bootlicker,
such a boot such a fucking boot liquor. I don't care as it
justified shooting. Listen, I'm gonna try to drink at some of the same
taverns this week as one. Samuel Adams, you're me in New York,
right, I'll be in New York, but I'm also I'll be in Philly
for a night. So okay, there's a couple of bars in like Center
City that are literally from the seventeen hundreds. Can you get close enough to
the Liberty Bell to do a funnel off of it? I've tried. You
can do it at night, yeah, when like nobody's nobody's watching that makes
sense fair enough. Uh So, the real answer to what caused the American
Revolution is a whole bunch of shit, just a whole Wow, it was
a real, it was real melting pot of situations kind of broad strokes.
You're paining. Yeah, cool, So you're gonna talk about everything, huh
No, all at once. This one part talk about two lesser known but
maybe pretty huge reason for the American Revolution. One of them probably so people
say this all the time. They're like, I didn't learn that in school.
What have you learned that in school? The total total race, right?
Or to learn that in school? Like, well, here's something you
can learn a lot of people don't know this. Betsy Ross was more of
a hell of of trolly situation. The kidnapped her, Yeah, forced her
to sew British flex. H listen here, Bets, you're gonna sew until
your fingers you've pulled sewing duty. I'm more of a I'm more of a
Molly Pitcher guy personally. Yeah, you know, we don't know who that.
We for sure don't know who who Molly Pitcher. Yeah, of course
we don't. Do you know who you're talking to? Have you? I
can barely form sentences, dude, like, come on, man, it's
uh, here's the buff dude. We're there. The other dude, I
have to paint as a job. I'm literally people in our discord have been
like, anytime a conspiracy topic comes up there, that's for Jake. That's
non mystery, that's for him. Like things that aren't true, things that
are widely speculated. A crazy person a morons me always recommend me dance big
bug of freaks. She basically I'm gonna I would I'm gonna butcher it if
I get into more details than this, But she basically her husband went down
during a battle, so she stepped up and started manning the cannon that he
was. Oh, she's the cannon lady. Yeah, I thought that was
Is that the lady that's downtown Now she was cannon or she operated a cannon,
operated a cannon. Briefly she became a cannon. I don't believe.
I do not think that that is the same woman next to a cannon in
downtown Austin. I know define the Texas Revolution. I think I think when
you get canonized as a saint, though, they should fire you out of
a cannon. That's true that's fact. They do. Also do we should
do a prequel to Transformers where it's old tech, where it's like you transformed
into a fucking carriage bug. Transformers like just missed out on looking spectacular.
Oh yeah, because they the early movies with shol Buff came out like right
before CGI really hit its peak, and it's stride. There's some really bad
CGI and Transformers is there. It's bad. I've tried man at the time,
But if it was like five six years later when they started, it
would look much much more crisp. Still making them, they are all always
still possibility. Um now, Megan Fox though, No, but uh yeah,
So we're gonna talk about two lesser known reasons the revolution started. But
again I think both of them play outsize roles, but we never learned about
them. What I was gonna say it was that is that it's mostly bullshit.
When you're like, oh, you know, I didn't learn that in
school, it's like, oh, really, you you you have a perfect
memory of what someone told you thirty years ago. Seriously, fucking that's worse
than the Mandela effect. Bullshit. I'm not wrong. It's a different universe.
It's the same thing as like they're not covering this, and they show
you a link from a news site. It's like, well, but I've
thought about this. I kind of wish I could go to school now,
Oh, me too, you'd be easier. No, I would actually just
want to go to class. I want I want to learn some things.
You'd be so bored. It's why we do this podcast so I can learn.
This is honestly the most learning I do. JK for real, that's
it probably is for me. But no, you should work as a child
in the mines. They yearn for the mines. They do yearn kind of
like I'm sorry, Minecraft, best selling video game of all time, one
of the best selling video games of all time. Save up some money in
your teenage years and your twenties, and then when you hit your thirties you
go back to school. You know who actually advocates for that life, Tom
Cruise. He thinks you should be retired as a as a young person and
like not have to work until you're like thirty five. Oh, I think
you should work until you're thirty five, go to school, and then you
would never do anything. You wouldn't leave retirement. You'd do anything you could
to stay there as someone who truly enjoys doing nothing. I love doing nothing.
There's nothing. If you do what you love, you'll never work a
day in your life. Goddamn right. I love doing nothing. Yeah,
so spot on it. Never work a day and your life cool because I
don't like working. Yeah, so I don't want to. Yeah, nobody
wants to work, even this, Like writing this episode, it's you don't
have a ton of fun writing? Yeah, sometimes you do, but and
very much enjoy my free week. It's the best, and I enjoy sharing.
The enjoyment is sharing it with you too, writing the episode the friends
we make along the way. So the first of the two things we're gonna
talk about today, tell me if you heard about this one? Here about
this, here about this. Remember it's called the Hutchins, Hutcheson, Hutchison
letter affairs. There's letters affairs. That's not a hard name to say.
But Hutchinson or Hutchins, Hutchison, the Hutchinson letters affair. Have you heard
about this one? You know what I heard about it? Um this Hamilton
affair? No, No, he did not. Um. Thomas Hutchinson was
Lieutenant governor of Massachusetts Colony and then governor from Leujenet governor up until seventeen seventy
seventeen seventy one, and then was governors from seventy one to seventy three.
Uh As you can imagine, this was a pretty pretty hot time. He
took off as a year after the Boston Tea Party. I mean he was
already in office for the Boston Tea Party as Lieutenant governor, but then became
governor right after it. The letters in question were written between himself and his
Colonial secretary Andrew Oliver and Thomas Whateley, who was in London as the assistant
to the British Prime Minister George Grenville. They were basically about the colonists protests
against the Townsend Acts and how the Crown and Britain should respond and how just
the colonists should be dealt with in general. A lot of what they were
saying is just like a lot of what the letters were saying. We're just
like and I don't even think they're wrong, They're just like, God,
these fucking massholes are the worst. I feel like they should not govern themselves
like we that should be all on the Crown and parliamentary. So like these
people are fucking an. I tend to agree right now, you know,
to be fair salient points. Yeah, and but it was all kind of
like it was like a text threat. You know, it's not serious.
I mean, it was what they believed or maybe we really had a thought.
You know, they're they were expressing thoughts, but they weren't like,
this is the plan, yeah, lest we do this. They weren't talking
about how to execute it. They were just like riffing exactly literally, yes,
yeah, um so he all these letters were written when he was lieutenant
governor UM, and he actually became governor after the previous governor, Francis Bernard,
had his own letters leaked by radical opposition parties. They'd always be your
own tweets, never write it down. Yeah, they'll find the tweets.
They'll always findet. Have we dropped that episode yet on the Patreon? Look
at my tweets the first episode? Yeah, some spare bedroom dropping that on
the Patreon. Two episodes out right now. So even though Hutchison replaced the
governor UM, the radical masshole politicians and legislators whatever Assembly members fucking hated Hutchison
too, same administration, they've hated him just as much as they hate Bernard.
So over the course of Hutcheson's Hutchinson's tenure, he and the just say
big age because you're having a hard time say in that name now, Hutch,
I will say, over the course of Hutch's tenure, uh, he
and the mass Holes debated ends endlessly. U in the form of writing.
So I think there's a lot of published letters and stuff like that, a
lot of letter duels back in this time. Oh yeah, the dueling op
eds really yeah, I mean love that though, battle rappers, Yeah yeah,
writing notes pretty much what's going up and umblished a bit, you fat
motherfucker, the papers. Everything. It was about the crown and the role
of the executive versus the role of the Assembly. Should should this, how
much say should parliament and um the king have and how Massachusetts governed themselves,
blah blah blah. At one point, shock of all shocks, the mass
Holes said something untoward about Governor hutch something mean something, They cross the line
what they do I don't know. They didn't say, but oh it's it's
not known. Yeah, like your wife's a fucking donko, fucking fire fight
is getting pushed it really Look, I love I love this country, and
I'm an American through and three. But you do sometimes have to wonder if
we were right to fuck, like would you now follow a fiery person from
Massachusetts? Would I follow Matt Damon into the line of fire? And the
answer is yes, yeah, Damon and Affleck I would for sure, So
I guess fair enough, Walburg no fucking chance. I don't know. Walburg
could probably talk me into it, Yeah he could. Come on, come
on, go on, man, or I'll just beat my ass. You
want to end up like that Viennamese guy. Huh, come on, pal,
you want me to tell you mom how I made you lose your vision?
Huh? Yeah, yeah, I'd follow him. I'm the guy that
does his job. You must be the other fucking guy. Um. So
for the rest of the episode, lord uh Lord Dartmouth, you know,
read what the massholes wrote, and he beseeched Massachusetts's agent in London, the
person kind of representing them in London. They weren't officially represented, obviously,
no taxation without representation, but their agent in London he was. He went
up to him and went to him and was like, tell them to retract
this. This is too fucking far. These people are fucking deranged. That
agent was Benjamin Franklin. Oh, Benny living in London at the time,
fucking his way through London. I'm guessing, Oh, certainly European. You
recall, I think his son has already died because his wife wouldn't vaccinate him.
So he just wants to be away from his wife as much as possible.
Understood, Yeah, um, vaccinate for smallpox and um, I would
say what you want about vaccines. And we have a lot of Robert Kennedy
supporters in the audience. Maybe I don't know. I made that up.
Um. I just wish he could bench more than one fifteen on englid And
someone sent me that. I was like, that's not even impressive. I
don't care how he's seventy. I can get that. No, it's has
nothing to do with age. It's how he looks. He should be pushing
more weight than that. But I see guys like that all the time at
the gym. It's where they're just so much bigger than me. I'm but
they're they're benching or squatting half what I do. That's the annoying thing.
It's like you could be like the most strong person but if you're not getting
that like TRT, it's just not like not cheating, you're not trying.
Yeah, you don't got that, Hollywood bod. I don't care. I
guess Yeah, I'd rather throw the weight around. No, I need to
get on something. Yeah, if you got some plugs, people, let
me know. If you got a trend guy, hit up, Dan jest.
I don't know if I want to be trend trends more of like actually
just test really teen test. It kind of is they're so like juicy and
then you know, yeah, they don't look on me that. Yeah,
let's just go to the doctor. You could. That's the best way you
get real tests. And I don't have low tea because you don't need to.
That's the fun part. It's not for fixing a problem. No,
the problem is that you don't look shredded enough, and they're fixing that,
you know, would really be your own boys. Yeah, oh no,
no, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying sounds like you're saying.
Dan. All I'm saying is you gotta slam a big mac right before you
go to the TRT clinic, right maybe an hour before it's gonna slam your
test. Now eat some microplastics. Thanks. Yeah, yeah, I think
you look great. I think you're a handsome boy. Grasses, no mistad
um. So at this point, after Franklin was approached by Lord Dartmouth,
Thomas Waiteley, the man who their letters had been written to, was dead,
and Benjamin Franklin had come into possession of about twenty of these things.
I thought, you're just gonna say calm everywhere. Yeah, Benjamin Franklin was
more jes than man, probably as soon as he hit puberty. Oh,
I mean he got as he got a prosto pregnant. Remember was that a
Patroon episode. Yes, we did a whole thing on Franklin's dick. Yeah
it was. It was a good episode. So Franklin was in possession about
twenty letters written between Weightly Hutchinson, hutch and Oliver Um. So naturally,
ben Franklin read this guy's mail federal crime not yet. Yeah, it isn't
even a federal government. They're no fed. And he realized that they were
about, you know, how the colonists felt and how to deal with them
and all this stuff. And Franklin was like, hey, this is bullshit.
What they're saying like, hey, he was like, this is bullshit.
What they believe be The things they're saying about the colonists aren't even true.
Yeah, like, hey, they're getting the situation totally wrong. Hey,
um that they're wrong about what the massholes are upset about, so and
and and and because of all this, like and because of the way they're
dealing with the Massachusetts colony. The Massachusetts colony is getting mad at the monarchy
in Parliament. Now. At this point, Benjamin Franklin was still kind of
politically neutral, but was essentially like loyal to the crown. He thought independence
was not a great idea, Like they were already a part of the most
powerful country on earth, Why fuck that up? And the freest country on
earth at the time, really at least for white men and honestly probably women
to white women too, all things considered, of course. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, freeest, Yes, freest. That's a good relative. Yeah,
I mean it was. It was really like you had rights there that
you just didn't exist the WII. Yeah, and so he was like,
why fucked us up? We have a good thing going and that all that
was a huge concern of a lot of colonists is just is like, Okay,
if we leave the umbrella of uh Britain, we open ourselves up to
potentially coming under more oppressive regimes like France or Spain or who the fuck knows.
Yeah, yeah, I kind of feel it. It's like we were
like this teenager and like the parents were like, you can live in the
poolhouse if you want. We're like, we're gonna live in the poolhouse.
We're gonna do things our way a little bit, but still in their property.
Yeah, we're still on your property. But you know what, they're
letting me slide with a lot of stuff. I'm getting to kind of be
responsible, and I understand like if we moved to an apartment or landlord's gonna
be a dick. Landlords me be a dick. You gotta pay rent,
Yeah, you gotta pay rent. Like we're kind of chilling right now.
Poolhouse isn't too bad. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what Ben Franklin thought,
as far as I know. So he thought, Okay, here's what
I'm gonna do. I'm gonna send these letters to the Massachusetts Assembly to select
people in the Massachusetts Assembly so that they understand that all the tension and bullshit.
That's happening is not because of England, not because of Britain and the
King and the Parliament, but it's because of their shitty governor and the shitty
lieutenant governor and so on and so forth. So they'll erect their anger appropriately
and they'll replace their local executive and not get crazy and want to leave the
best country on earth at the time. Right. Sure doesn't sound like it
probably happened. What doesn't sound like they followed what Ben was under the belief
what happened, Well, they listened to him for a little bit, so
he sent the letters. Seems like they He sent the letters and somebody in
Boston just pissed all over him. Yeah, they did their Boston thing.
He sent the letters to Thomas Cushing, he was the speaker of the Massachusets
Assembly in December seventeen seventy two. He told Cushing not to publish the letters
or even to share them widely. So what disaster should show them to a
select few people who can then reassure everyone else in the Assembly and maybe in
the public that Britain's chill and Hutchinson is the asshole. Have a fall guy
exactly. Yeah, Unfortunately, it is. One of the people who got
access to these letters was the man was Samuel Adams. Oh your boy,
Sammy, that's all I got. Wicked hot core, the biggest masshole of
all time. I'm actually I am of the opinion that if he were alive
today, everyone would fucking hate him. Nah good beer, nahas. I
actually did drink a six pack of blaston Laga last night. I don't I
remember the last time I had a Sam Adams. It was really good.
Actually, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I don't remember
when he had a Laga. I'd seriously, I don't know if I've ever
had a Sam Adams. To be honest with you, it's a fine micro
Macrobrew Sacro micro, but more American Blue Moon, like Blue Moon sucks.
Blue Moon's trash um. But it's just like where are what are you?
Sam Adams logger, Boston logger, what aren't you? I here's my opinion
on it is it is a more refined year then you will get from even
a macrobrew catalog for the most part, even if you go like michelob or
something like that. But it's still really inoffensive. Oh, it's a successible
but good, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think good. I think
it's it's like the neutral beer and it's a laga. Nobody's mad at a
laga. Nah. So Sam Adams is a fucking lunatic now and forever.
I mean, like, look, he helped the country anything, but like,
god damn, Like watch them watch the show John Adams or the miniseries
John Adams. Sam Adams only in like the first two episodes, but he
is a fucking asshole. Even the other Bostonians are like, like John Adams
is like, God, fucking damn it, you were the worst. I
mean, Sam Adams is the one that's in there that's like, hang the
British soldiers. I don't even get even get I'm sorry. Do you think
rational reasonable people are the ones that start revolutions? They sure aren't. No,
typically not. They sure aren't, even if they call themselves. I
posted that meme the other day. The people who did all the killing and
the reign of terror and the French Revolution, you know what, they were
called the nice guys kind of the Committee of Public Safety. They cut off
thousands of people's heads. They were the CPS keeping the public safe. Yea
god, damn um so. Adams did, though, follow Franklin's request to
not publish them or copy them or whatever, but just barely, just barely,
you know what I mean. It's like if someone's like, if you're
like, don't touch me, and someone puts their face an inch away from
you, he's like, I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you.
I'm not touching you. It's childish. Yeah, that's what Sam Adams did.
He immediately told fucking everyone in the Assembly, everyone everywhere, how about
how they had damning letters, just fucking fucked up letters from the governor,
all kinds of fucked up shit, the worst ship you could imagine. Roll.
You've seen these ladders there night man. You wouldn't fuck it believe these
ladders bra Yeah. And he would leak little bits of them like sentence you
shave him, clips y tweets man, Yeah, yeah, all that.
He's like kind of like the viral like tweet guy where it's like can you
believe he said this? And it's like clip of five seconds and it's like
you don't have the full can you believe? Rosanne Bars said kill all the
Jews? Did she say that? It was sarcasm. She is Jewish,
I thought so, and I was like, I don't think she meant that.
Yeah, now, because she was like, oh, because we controlled
the media, they took they took that clip on THEO van and everyone's just
like, look, she wants to kill all the Jews. Yeah, here's
the thing. We're all out for each other, all out for herselves.
Anyway, there can only be one. We're like, we're like highlanders.
You only want there to be one left. That's right, And so far
I'm safe. Here do I get to be in this contest? You don't
want to fight this fight? Okay, Yeah, you'd be you'd actually be
too good at it. It's a meek fight. It's not exactly pounds for
pounds in the cage. Man. Also like, I know you're Irish,
but you look like you marched through Paris in nineteen forty. I don't think
so, man, I do. It's my Portuguese skin. Oh my god,
he's very Iberian, I guess, man, Yeah, I don't fucking
know. Hutchinson meanwhile, like he knew that Adams was saying all this stuff,
and he knew what he wrote in the letters, and he was like,
what are you talking about. It's like everything everything that is in those
letters, I have said it publicly, which he had. He had basically
written everything that was in the letters, like he had probably like what was
in the letters was probably a less eloquent, articulate version of what he believed.
But it was like he's like, I've said all of this, like
I've represented that view here, that zented that view here, and and like
what the fuck are you talking trying to get me on things? I am
very open, like this isn't a gotcha you fucking dick. Yeah. Like
when they tried to blackmail I think it was like the president of the Philippines,
I want to say, and they're like, we have you having sex
on tape with a whore And he's like, dude, can I get copies?
I send it to my friends. Someone tried to do that to yarm
Or Yager hockey player. He released it. They're like sent him the video
and they were like, I I filmed it you, but need to give
me like one hundred thousand dollars and he was just like and posted it.
Yeah, No, that's the best, Like, oh, you want to
watch me bang, especially if a good performance? Yeah, let let the
world see that. Yeah, like obviously, if you're like groveling like a
little piggy and you come in six seconds a little bottom pig. Yeah,
if you're a little pig bottom, I'm sorry picked him and I hate that.
But yeah, if you're pig bottom squealing with joy um. But Cushing
and Adam and Adams a fucking psycho. But Cushing and Adams and John Adams
and other more reasonable people, we're also alarmed at what they read and wanted
to publish them. And they asked, They asked Franklin, They're like,
are you sure, man, Like this is pretty wild? Can we we
think we should publish this? Do you have the emails? Now? They
burned, they bleached the server or whatever the fuck damn it. Yeah,
And Franklin was like, no, don't do that. But eventually John Adams
published the letters in the Boston Gazette in seventeen seventy three. So you do
have the emails. Yeah, they put the emails out there. They put
the emails in the Boston Gazette. It caused a political fucking firestorm in Massachusetts.
People went they lost their fucking minds. Now, yeah, all kinds
of shit and they burned Hutchinson and fig and all that shit. I mean,
they fucking went nuts. And in England the Parliament and the king and
we're like, what the oh, by the way, the letters were essentially
about I already said that, right. They're like, but maybe these people
need less control over them. So yeah, it's like, maybe make the
executive branch stronger, daddy, Yeah, maybe have the parliament a point a
council because these people from Massachusetts are fucking insane. Um anyway, people,
so people in England and the Parliament in the Crown were like, dude,
what the fuck people are insane? Maybe they do need less freedom Jesus Christ.
Yeah. Um, that's that's how you know you're doing it right.
By the way, how you know you're living free when someone's like, good
God, someone needs to control you externally, Like, yeah, that's when
you're crushing. That's the Northeast, baby, you are all we need sinful,
We need direction, you do we do? Yeah? I think we
put our best foot forward when somebody tells us where it's just building things towards
the sky because you want to see how high they can get. I mean,
I guess if today you told old me Hey, starting something. It's
big. A guy from Philly, a guy from Boston, and a guy
from rural Virginia and they're all starting the ship up. Will win. I'd
be like, new big, Now, what do you make one hundred and
six percent alcohol? What happened? How do you make it more? This
is like lacrosse league? What is going on? He combined crack meth and
lacrosse. Yeah, are done? Like no, thank you? Um.
This was a huge scandal in England too, by the way, humongous fucking
scandal, because the letters were to the prime ministers like assistant or whatever or
whatever he was. One of the biggest questions in England was, of course,
who leaked the letters, And no one other than the select few massholes
knew it was Ben Franklin. Very few people knew it was Ben Franklin.
So the leaker was a huge question mark. Um, this is like a
wiki leaks type of thing. Well, that would have been Franklin leaked his
own paper leaked what leaked? Did himself? He did? Oh, he
was the one that leaked it to the Massachusetts Oh oh, I'm sorry,
I thought, never mind proceed Oh well, it is a mystery. We
never found out who gave Franklin the letters. We have still not found out
who who gave Franklin the letters. Yeah, but the leaker was Ben Franklin,
so everyone want to know. It was like I said, Weitly was
dead at this point. So it is a like a much ado about nothing
at this point to you really like the guy's already dead Weightly's dead. But
the who whole thing is now Massachusetts wants to suceed more than ever. They're
just chirping the governor. Yeah, because it's like it's honestly just like a
pot stir, you know, it's just like fuck. But now keep in
mind the the Boston massacre has already happened, all the all the first round
of taxation like the Stamp Act and everything like that, that's already in place.
These people are already fucking furious. Okay, this count helps. I
was actually kind of losing the thread for a minute. Yeah, so we're
about halfway. We're about halfway through the list of things that caused the American
Revolution that you read about in your history text book. Letters to letters,
what letters? What he's talking about? The letters? Back to the letters
were just bullet points right here, just quick synopsis. Just what caused the
war leader in the clubhouse right now? Letters? Yeah, I mean this
was if it wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back, it was goddamn
close to you. But it coused something even more important that we'll get that
together. So Witley was dead and Weightley's brother, William was in charge of
his estate. He accused a man named John Temple of leaking the letters he
did not, obviously. Temple denied the claim and was fucking furious. So
he challenged William Witley to a duel, to a duel in Hyde Park,
Jersey now Hyde Park, London, so like their Central Park Park Austin.
So I thought you could only duel in Jersey. That's my understanding. It
is to take a boat. The whole thing gonna have witnesses, witnesses going
to turn their backs. Well the witnesses or the seconds or whatever, those
are optional. But they had their backs turned. Yes, maybe, So
they dueled in Hyde Park on December eleven, seventeen seventy three. There were
a couple of problems with the duel though. For one thing, Temple was
like pretty fat and death sick. For another, it was dumping. Now,
Temple is a challengeee. Temple challenged him. He was the challenger because
Witley, William Witley accused him of leaking his brother's left. But he's fat
and deaf and he knows this, and yeah, he's aware, he knows,
he knows himself. Man has honors. Yeah, so they fire pistols
at each other. Miss didn't try to miss, wasn't It wasn't a gentlemanly
thing, like they just fucking miss. So they pull out their swords and
they run out each each other and immediately get into a fucking slap fight.
And they rolled around in the mud for like an hour before someone walked by
and made them stop. An hour, that's what it said. That is
a long fight. I know, I've never seen a fight go on for
an out like at that point, like the person stopping, it's like,
you guys suck at fighting. I think that's kind of what happened that.
I thought you guys are pathetic. What's what's the equivalent with two like adult
incompetence, Like if you walk up and you're like, all right, boys,
break it up to like two little kids, like you're walking past a
playground, there's two like nine year olds in a fist fight. Yeah,
it's a kid. I'm like, all right, boys, that's enough of
that. You done, did it? Yeah? Shake hands, it's the
important part. Getting my man. I'm a stranger. Yeah, actually,
you wouldn't break up that fight if you're a chomb list, or you'd wait
till one gets knocked unconscious and then you're like, good work. Yeah,
thanks billy um. But Waitley did get badly wounded by Temple's sword at some
point in the fight. So at this point, feeling responsible for the violence
and not wanting any more bloodshed or accusations because it's such a scandal, Franklin
finally came forward as the leaker, and he justified his actions and tell me,
if this doesn't sound like the worst excuse you would hear on Twitter,
you know what I mean? Or a leaguer. Yeah, he justified his
actions by being like, well, all letters between public officials should be published
anyway, There shouldn't be any private correspondence if you're a public official. Yeah,
that's I'm making up rules as I go kind of thing. I tend
to agree right now too. If you're a public figure, ourselves included your
tech should be out so check you can check their text there, you open
their Gmail fucking anything. Yeah, yeah, I should see all your dms,
your sex. Dan just wants to you live in a literal glasshouse.
If you're a public, if you are in government. Well that's the thing
I always like crack up about. It's like they're they're just trying to do
a hit job on him. It's like, what do you think the public
eye is roses? Right? People, if you are a prominent in this
country, people want you. Don't even have to be prominent. You really
don't. Actually, there are so many there's so much like podcast drama and
beefs that like I would think no one would care about. But I guess
it's like a whole industry. That's why that was one thing get too.
If I'm back in the day where we never did it, thank god,
but like that was one there's a conversation with it, like let's start some
fires between you guys. Yeah that or like between other sites, because that
wasn't how people forget. That's one way barstool got really big because all their
Twitter personalities were really agonistic. Yeah, we had some runninence with them,
but we did. But I was always like it was so funny, and
that's why I never really took them super seriously. Uh, it's just because
I mean I would have worked there, no, no question, because it's
a great audience. But like, um, it was just like I'm here
to like write, like I'm here to make stuff. Like I'm not.
It's not a reality show. I'm just trying to be funny. Yeah.
Yeah, there's definitely a difference between the people are like, all right,
this is my job, and there's people are it's like my job is me
right? Yeah, you know what I mean. It's like I'm becoming I'm
a brand even with this podcast, Dude, Like all I want to do
is talk about history and like write an outline like fuck around, Like I'm
not trying to like figure out how to make money doing it. No fuck
that for the love of the game. Yeah No. But I mean,
like I'm not trying to like make myself a fucking character what like you know
what I mean, like it, or like make myself a brand like I
would rather I would rather show be a brand. Now, this is a
launching pad. Everyone knows this. We're an incubator for ourselves and we built
the incubator for ourselves. Rob's gonna leave us for the first and Carlin's gonna
hit him up and just be like, No, would be an acting gig.
Hey, it'd be an acting gig. A spot roll like a one
episode, one episode come back saying I'm leaving you because I've going on vacation
to Hawaii for a week or something like. You gotta really drag him.
No, No, They're like, hey, we gotta, we gotta have
you on set for at least three weeks for SVU, Like you could handle
that. So no, he would be like, I'm out, I got
an agent, did my episode, Now I'm on Bigger and Better Things Roll.
Yeah, big fucking dude. Um, I mean I would, uh
and we would gladly. Did you do you have to pay us for your
share though? Yeah? Who we were replacing them with um Ai Rob,
you get a computer change. Oh that's so easy. Joke, bought joke.
But yeah, you're just like, what would Rob Fox do about this?
Ben Franklin had a neat penis? Dude, you have it already.
We're on We're on microphones so much that I think we could probably put out
a couple episodes where we don't have to actually come to the office. It's
the problem though, where it's like we didn't check it beforehand and it's just
terrible. It's just like, well, if it's better, it's just like
Robin Dan. But eventually you become flanderized, right, because that's what AI
is doing now, where they're pulling from their own art. Yeah, it's
pretty funny. So they're like kind of getting incestuous with their ideas. Essentially,
Jake runs a lazy there a beam in space. It's eventually just because
hey, guys, I'm Jewish. Later Illuminati thank you. Yeah, yeah,
that would still be pretty good though, I think people would enjoy that.
What I think people saluting my master's oh nice? Yeah? Um so
yeah he didn't. Franklin was just like, all right, someone's gonna kill
somebody else, so I gotta just come forward. So he published a letter
on Christmas Day saying that he did it no days off m Christmas Day,
what do you do? Content never sleeps well, he didn't write on christs
to Day, published on Christmas even still get a hit published real quick.
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right, let's get back to the show, which was always fun to me,
by the way, just to say one more content thing real quick.
At TFM or anywhere, it was like, yeah, we always have so
much lower traffic on Christmas Day or Thanksgiving Day, and I'm like, why
you're sitting around all day doing nothing. I'm on my phone so much on
those days. Most of the time, Rob was encouraging them to make us
work on holidays, the lower paid people certainly, Yeah, the bullpen,
Yeah, well, bullpen came running out a little later, but you got
ahead of the race. Yeah. So Franklin was called before the Privy Council,
which is just like a I think in like sort of inner circle Parliament,
Royal Council or whatever. And this was, by the way, he
was called before the Council or he publishes letter. And that was like a
couple of days after the Boston Tea party happened. So England was fucking pissed,
like everyone in Parliament. Everything was fucking hated, the colonies, hated
any one other side. So I had the Privy Council, the guy I
think somebody went for a swim a couple of days after. You could like
taste it. It's like a I do wonder if it killed fish. You
would almost think it at Caffeine made a candy fish, Yo made Swedish fish.
I didn't know this, but like weapons grade sonar can actually like rip
shit apart. I mean it's it is something. Yeah, like it's not
nothing, so like yeah, I didn't noticed, but like if you were
like swimming by like a weaponized machine with sonar on it, yeah, and
it went off, it would like make your fucking brain explode out of your
skull, dude. Same with bluetooth. That's why AirPods are terrible for you.
Dude, What are you talking about? I just listen to hot beats
on that ship. I know, but it's frying your brain. Well,
there's internet all around me right now, all that five g hell yeah,
dude, it's another RFKA platform out it. Get my brain in that ship.
Let's go about time. Get singular. Yeah, I'm trying to be
singular wireless. I don't singularity? Is that more absurd than Trump saying that
the wind turbines cause cancer? Did he say that? Yeah? Did he
mean it? I don't know. Yeah, that's what it come on.
What does Trump say that you can honestly take without a grain of salt.
Really, that is the best photo of a living president or any president looking
at a solar eclipse, staring directly at it and pointing at it like there
it is. That is my favorite photo of any president ever. And I
think him I agree, it's fantastic. That should be in That should be
on her. It should be on her flag. Put it on the dollar
bill, yeah, just right in this center. Put on a thousand dollar
bill. Then you put the shining eye that was on top of the pyramid
above it. So that's what he's looking at, and it's pointing back down
at him, and he's giving him a thumbs up. Yeah. Yeah,
it's just a cartoon. I was like, it's like buddy, uh,
buddy Supreme Yeah yeah. Um. So Franklin stood there in the Privy Council
as the Solicitor General Alexander Wetterburn uh just ripped him a thousand new assholes for
what he did, like which just like you are a piece of shit,
a thief, You're dishonorable. Fuck you. Um. He was then removed
from his position, um about being Boston's Asian or whatever as well, like
the Board of Trade dismissed Franklin from his post as the Colonial Postmaster General.
Moved from fucking everything fired, fired, fired, fired, a little bit
of a tongue twister. So Colonial Postmaster General a lot. Yeah, it's
a mouthful a lot of I'm okay losing that title. Yeah, CpG.
You just gotta breathe it. It's fair. But yeah, Franklin, by
the way, as I said earlier, a man in many hats politically neutral
up to that point. He left London and England fucking disgraced, had to
go back to his all the colonies. Yeah, and after that, after
his running with the Privy Council and the Board of Trade, he returned to
America in seventeen seventy five being like, fuck England, let's go independent.
Huck England, wee ball. Yeah. So thanks to these league letters,
the massholes became basically entirely convinced at this point that they needed to be independent
because they thought they had straight up confirmation that the powers that be in Britain
wanted to give them less governance over themselves, less independence over themselves, so
they thought they needed more independence. And then we also got one of our
MVPs. Yeah for the revolution thanks to those letters, John Paul Jones,
Ben Franklin, Ben Franklin, Ben the guy. We've just these letters,
but I thought another, like, oh another cameo drop J. Cole's on
this track to you, what the fuck? And these letters were going hard
from the rafters. These letters like raised the temperature enough that they were fucking
going crazy. This they honestly raised the temperatre enough that they may have kind
of directly led to the atmosphere that made the Boston Tea Party possible. Um,
and the Boston Tea Party directly inspired what the Colonists you may remember this
from history class, dubbed the intolerable intolerable acts which did literally lead to the
American Yeah. Um, so this scandal, like I said, it gave
the colony, It gave the colonies one of his MVPs, and arguably it's
inciting incident. Damn. Okay, Wow, that's a big deal. I'd
know. I'd never learned that in history class. How do you know?
I don't. Yeah, I probably I could have gotten probably glossed over.
It probably got a whole week on that. Yeah, I just don't even
remember it. You know, much history I've learn I haven't retained, right,
Yeah, but that was a humongous little piece of the reason we went
to war, you know, declared independence. While all of this was going
on, there was also something global and fucked up going on that directly and
intricate, intricately involved both the colonies and England. The first ever literally the
first ever modern banking crisis. Oh no, nothing hurts more. Nothing like
that is the financial equivalent of like a summer for crisis. Yeah, for
making people crazy. Now, are the Venetians still around at this point?
Not really. The banking center is England is London and Amsterdam, and to
a lesser extent, and the Swiss. I don't know if they're really players
yet. I don't to the game. Yeah, but yeah, this is
post Medici kind of shit too. For sure, was still hanging on or
I would say at this point London is inarguably the financial center of the world.
For a long time it was, but Amsterdam is still I mean it's
look, London is still a huge financial center probably number two, number two.
Yeah, I mean as far as like open and transparent financial centers,
yes, number two. I would say, other than possibly some Chinese Beijing
or arguments, but yeah, I would say London. So, like I
said, the colonies in England were directly and heavily involved in this. If
the letters pissed New England off, the banking crisis was what maybe put the
South over the edge. Yeah, and this was happening at the exact same
time, and it all started because of one literally because of one dumb asshole.
I love that. Yeah, that's I believe it. Like when people
are like, oh, he's just an idiot, It's like do you know
how often how often idiots have changed the course of history. Yep, it's
most of it. It's all of it, Yeah, almost all of it.
So you're just calling Sam Adams just a moron. I don't think he
was smart. I think he was a brute. I have a hot Yeah
I do too, I think he I have a much high regard for John
Adams and Sam Adams certainly not You're but more of a John, you're Sam.
I'm a samboy. Yeah, it's a surprise to no one. Yeah,
I'm not not surprised in the least. He got drunk, started a
revolution in a bar, and uh yeah, actually did his part. I'm
like John, um, getting drunk and starting a revolution and a bar shouldn't
be a good prerequisite for everybody. Sounds like a bad hang. Yeah.
Also again, that has led to some pretty bad things in history. Most
revolutions. Look, the American Revolution is history. He's written by the winners.
Yeah, well we won, I guess. Actually that's not even necessarily
true. Losers do document pretty hard, how bad they written by the winners.
I don't know why people hold the French Revolution in such a high regard,
because is the second worst revolution you get Napoleon. Napoleon was a good
later he was dope, but he wasn't good. They ended up with a
monarch, stronger monarch. Yeah, but sometimes it's the effort too. Yeah,
but it was just they should, honestly, they should study the American
Revolution. We also wanted to make George Washington king who us the country?
Yeah, we're idiots. We're like, oh, let's give it to the
monarch. Oh, George, you want to be a monarch. He's like,
nah, we'll get to that. Well, we'll talk about that.
Have you heard about when George Washington became president and he wrote Congress like,
oh, I'm so excited to be president, and then Congress like we need
to write a letter back, and they're like, we're so excited, have
you And he's like, thanks, I'm excited, you're excited, and all
the while he's having I believe it was either I think it was Thomas Jefferson
right that to Congress and then Congress like, hey Tom, right this to
George Washington, back and forth. Why was Congress having it? I think
Jefferson was the Secretary of State. I don't know under under probably why do
you hate Washington. We'll do my wanting. I don't hate Washington. I
just think you're doing your hit piece. I gotta do my hit piece on
Washing. But that requires me like days of getting hammering shit out, um
and not my normal. We all have this like aspirational topic we want to
talk about, but I don't have the time for it. But if I
did, it would be fine. Just wait for that one. Um.
So, as a result of the Townsend Act UH and the breakdown of the
Boston Non Importation Agreement, this period was marked by tremendous growth in exports from
Britain to the American colonies UH. And all of these massive exports were helped
propped up by British credit that British merchants granted to American planters. Han spells
to the South because we're talking cash crops here, tobacco, cotton, rice,
indigo, blah blah blah. My god, were they giving credit out
every which way they could? Ever heard of a bubble? Yeah I have?
UM. So they didn't have enough in the coffers to in case the
credit the stuff didn't come. They sure fucking did not. Yeah, I
mean, how do you think crises work? You're like, yeah, um
so, I mean, look, it was obvious to anyone kind of looking
maybe that there should have been a situation. The prosperity of both British and
colonial economies, there's a lot of a lot of that was due to speculation
and the establishment of quote unquote dubious financial institutions. For example, in Scotland,
bankers adopted the notorious practice of drawing and redrawing fictitious bills of exchange just
in an effort to expand credit. They were just I guess, making up
how much money they had to get better credit. Well, yeah, than
they inflate because of circulation. Yeah, things like that. Yeah, pretty
pretty standard there. But also keep in mind you don't want deflation either.
That's actually worse. Yes, I agree, yeah, because then no one,
especially in Boston, no deflation. No, they're anti deflation. Well,
well there were for deflation. What is this joke? What am I
missing to flake it? Tom Brady jes Okay, sorry, guys, deflation.
I don't think they would even Oh my god, you're such a spas.
The text between the two ball boys was my favorite part of that entire
thing. That was cute. It was cute, It was a good buddy
comedy in the middle of a scandal, and how they made it seem like
so kind of like malicious, and so I just like this balls a little
flat, dude. Yeah it was. They made this whole big thing out
of it. I was like, yeah, all right, whatever, no
one cares. Literally every sport ever has something like that, some type of
cheating. Baseball. I never really cared about the Astros cheating, would be
quite honest, never cared. I didn't care about the Black Sox. And
I remember you, yeah at the time when they happened, I remember you
just kind of shrugging. I was just like a game him play. They
want to win. Are the only one that deserves shit because they were throwing
it, Yeah, to get paid, taking steroids, deflating your ball.
Jamie Signs or Jamis Winston also notoriously, dude, watch anything from his heisman
year. It was the year after or the year after his heisman. Yeah,
it's like first half Jamis was just throwing left handed or and then he
always brought him back, oh, because he was awesome. Yeah, I
hate him. I hate Floor of State. He was the best athlete out
there because he could point shave a first half spread Jamis was awesome. Yeah,
he was incredible. Um, everyone made mind. So there were signs
of the depending impending crisis, but no one really cared. Like they were
overstocked shelves and warehouses. We know well about that and about how that causes
a financial crisis. Um that these were all overlooked by British merchants and American
planners because they were all like, yeah, we're rich, whatever, Yeah,
how bad can it get? Right? We'll weather it. There's this
big fucking bubble. American planters rich. Is that why the peanut man has
the monocle on the top. Yes, that is exactly why. If you
want to write the head of the cabal, look first the planters. Mister
planter, Yeah, he owns lives. No one talks about that, No
one. We're talking about that. You know what no one's talking about provides
eight links. Uh. Enter Alexander four dice. From seventeen fifty seven on
he was a partner in the banking house of Neil James Fordyce, and down
under four dices guidance, the bank did all kinds of shady shit. Fordyce
sounds like a shady guy you meet in the back alley. Yeah, Alex
Jimmy Ford, Hey, even alex Fordyce. Alex Fordyce sounds like a guy
who always has cocaine. Alex Fordyce does sound why is it always an ally?
He's got his own weighted dice. Yeah, he's got like a little
necklace pendant that pops out of spoon. He's like, you want to hit
and then you do it and he's like that was ketamine. Yeah, yeah,
that's him. That sounds exactly like that. Uh so under four diyces
guidance the bank, like it said, all kind of shay shit, including
speculation, which is, by the way, just like day trading games.
It's like gambling on stocks. It's not speculation is putting a lot of money
on I mean, it's it's gambling. This is like, this is like
gambling gambling. Yeah, this is like speculation is the stock equivalent from what
I can tell of sports gambling, you know what I mean. It's just
like, man, the Yankees are locked today, they're playing the A's Fuck,
I'm I'm gonna fucking lose today. Um. We have a lot of
that still, I'm sure we do. Yeah, it's just called different things.
Um, they also is how shady they were by the way they used
plants and informants to find out the details of the Piece of Paris in seventeen
sixty three, UH to get an advantage on um just investing and stuff like
that. The Piece of Paris was the treaty that ended the Seven Years War
aka the French and Indian War aka like the technically kind of the First World
War, the First Global War. They had informants in there giving them information
so they could gamble better. Yeah, it's called the game, dude,
They are the game. Yeah, you gotta If there isn't one, you
make one. And this this dude gambled with fucking every cent he was given.
And if you make it and you're losing, to take your ball and
go home. That's right. How funny you mentioned that. We'll get to
that. In July seventeen seventy four, UH collaborate with two planters named John
and William McIntosh from Granada, and that he borrowed two hundred and forty thousand
guilders in bearer bonds from the Dutch Bank, Hope and co h. William.
There are a couple other guys, rich guys in on the scheme as
well. I guess. Yeah. Bourdyce took all this shit and speculated with
it, just gambled it all on the market. Fun and to be fair,
for a while he was winning, but he didn't tell his partners.
He it wasn't like a big gambling ring. He's like, I got this
boys, I'll go gamble and we'll take these He made them think it was
a legitimate business and then he took all that money and gambled with it.
Yeah, he's kind of like doing a almost like a Ponzi les. Yeah,
there's good returns. Look at the business, but it's like I'm just
fucking winging its like our grandparents giving the savings bonds. Oh, this will
be worth fifty dollars in forty years. Yeah. And then it was supposed
to be worth more than what it's said on it. It was worth fifty
two dollars and recashed it. It has negative interest. It's actually worth less,
it is. Yeah. Eventually these partners showed up just to make sure
the money was okay, you know, and he can't just show you can't
email them a statement or whatever. According to four Dices biographer quote, it
is said he succeeded in quieting their fears by the simple expedient of showing them
a pile of bank notes which he had borrowed for a few hours, just
for the purpose of making them think he had money. Oh my god,
that's investor meeting. Shit. Yeah, that's all right, everybody, listen
up. We got investors coming tomorrow. Where pants comb your hair? I
have done that meeting so many times. It's startup culture. It's oh,
man, this guy knows the game, dude, he does. But the
house always wins, they do. He lost heavily. At the beginning of
seventeen seventy one, therere fluctuations in the market because of a dispute Spain over
the Falkland Islands. But he really fucked up man. Falkland Islands really,
I know, have a history, a weird history. I don't know what
conflict for very minimal return. There's not enough space for that much conflict.
I don't really know what the like appeal of them is. I guess they
maybe control like a shipping lane that has to be one. Yeah, it's
a it's a land mass in a big open space of water, um,
but one and a useful big open yeah. Like Hawaii or something, right,
right, yeah, it's it's definitely a lane. Um. So he
made a biggest mistake in At the end of seventeen seventy one early seventeen seventy
two, four Dice decided to go all in on a short. Oh no,
he shorted t kind of what close what do you call it? Shorted
your boys the Eagles. No, he shorted the East India Company. H
wow, that's that seems historically stupid. That seems really bold for a short
Amazon, What the fuck are you talking about? Listen, there's no way
they could they get better right now? Right. He took a huge short
position on the East India Company, thinking what pirates are gonna like destroy their
company. I don't know, they're gonna run out of heroin opium for the
Chinese, or you know, India is gonna overthrow them. In May of
seventeen seventy two, the East India Company stock price shot up a lot.
On Monday, June eight, seventeen seventy two, could no longer be hidden
Ford Dice was fucking bankrupt, so he he owed up. He had to
ow Oh yeah, yeah, his bank went insolvent. The next day,
his bank went totally insolvent, Like just fucking was done. Was he a
mask kissed? Did he enjoy this was his planned or he certainly enjoyed the
game, right, he enjoyed the gamble? You like the throw man?
Yeah? Um. The next day four Dice fled to France. Coward just
got the funk out of Dodge. Yeah. What does bankruptcy mean back then?
It means basically what it means now. You gotta liquidate your assets and
give it to whoever the fuck you owe money, You pick up and run.
Yeah, yeah, one or the other. On June twenty second,
dubbed Black Monday before Yeah, that's when we all got fired from grand X
first time. London went fucking insane. Once four Dice was officially declared bankrupt,
hordes of creditors showed up at the banks and was like, give us
our money back now, or they attempted to withdraw all their there's a bank
run of course on everything. As a result, twenty banks went bankrupt by
the end of June, so it was a solid cascade then of bank Oh
and it hit fucking the nether lends hit everywhere. One dude, one dude
shorten essentially like you said, Amazon or Apple, Yeah, like a moron,
led to a massive bank run, destroyed at least twenty banks. There
were tales of you know, merchants. Oh hey, I'm sorry. Everyone
that listens to this gonna hate it. This is why there needs to be
a regulation on regulatory board that it doesn't involve people that control money and budgets
and the government and the mic like that. Sorry, but it's fun.
That's why the FED exists, you fuck yeah, like, and because we
don't understand your money, Like, dude, it's how it works. Now,
this is how it works pretty much. Yeah, I mean I expect
to be flooded. That's fine, fun communists w Goldman on Instagram. There
were, of course, stories about bankers or whatever slitting their throats, shooting
themselves, hanging themselves. Okay, so happy story. Yeah. Uh.
News of the crash in Britain reached Thomas Jefferson on July eighth, seventeen seventy
two. British merchants after the crash basically immediately called on debt repayment to American
planters. But American planters did not have that fucking money because of the economic
boom before the crisis. Planters were not prepared for debt liquidation, and now
they couldn't get any more credit to continue expanding their plantations or whatever. Get
we'll get new ship, get more slaves or whatever. The fock planners were
unable to produce and sell their goods without the credit, so the whole market
became crippled and the price of their goods also fell because of that. I
mean, it was fucked everywhere. So they created daylight savings time to kind
of get an hour back, so little more work. Yeah. It's interesting
though, because oh god, no good, what we're gonna say? I
was just gonna say, it's like you have to have a moment in that
time where you're like, well, you know what, there's a big fucking
ocean there, and you're you're not gonna hold me too shit, come and
take it. That's that's immediately when it's like, oh, you know,
all these weird arbitrary rules we made up for each other, come sail away.
Yeah yeah, come on and come on and get it. Yeah.
Uh. In May seventeen seventy three, Parliament UH imposed a threepence tax for
each pound of tea sold. They allowed the East India Company to sell directly
through its own agents. The t act produced the price of tea and enabled
the company's monopoly over the colonial tea market. Uh. They were furious about
this in the colonies. Um and citizens in Charleston, Philadelphia, and New
York and Boston rejected the imported tea, famously culminating in the Boston Team in
December seventeen seventy three. This so, this is the other thing that started
the Boston Tea Party, which led directly to the Intolerable Acts. Yeah.
Um, the crisis worsened the relationship of the colonies in Britain, um and
yeah, this is it became. Then the revolution at shit, the revolution
happened because the two dumb dumbs. Yeah that's awesome. I love that,
I do. They sparked whatever the opposite of like, yeah, I'm so
thankful for these fucking idiots, Like because one guy had a gambling addiction,
yeah yeah, and one guy was getting shit talked. It is incredible to
me that these were the two. It was literally just two fucking assholes.
Yeah, but I don't know, you call him like a homo or something.
Will do we ever find out was actually in the letters, uh speaking,
Yeah, like just basically they were like, these people are animals,
just people they are. Yeah, these are gross people a week day.
They shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of themselves. Yeah, if you
listen to them. And then obviously all the massholes were like, hey,
pal, would you what you fucking say about me? You come into my
house and say that shit poppy right in the socca Yeah, pop your wife
right in the fucking backs a good magica, man. I do want to
more historically accurate representation of Massachusetts, Weld. We should just make a movie
that's actually like the real American Revolution, And it's all like modern day stereotypes
of the people from those places think you better than me? Yeah. Yeah,
it's just like fucking like everyone from South Carolina has just got the like
gay southern a you know what I mean, like the feminine Southern accent.
They're all the Lindsey Graham accent. People from fucking I don't know what people
from Virginia are. To be honest, the whole state feels like a suburb
doesn't make sense to you. What the state of Virginia doesn't make sense to
you? Not really, I don't know what Virginia is I have no idea.
It like doesn't really have a city because it's only city is DC.
Yeah, and that's not even fucking in Virginia. And then yeah, it's
m I feel like most of the people of nariety from Virginia are from the
poorer towns or from just the middle of nowhere. I know like nothing about
Virginia, That's what I'm saying. I don't know what Virginia is. I've
never really spent much time there. I have. I spent like a couple
of days there, but it was like staying in Virginia because we had to
go into DC. Is Williams Williamsburgs in Virginia. Yeah, I've been there
Colonial Williamsborg. That's where we had to go for a fifth grade field trip
because nine to eleven happened and we couldn't go to DC. Damn. That's
a long field trip from Florida. Yeah. We took a bus. Yeah
it was. Yeah, it was. You can take minors a cross state
lines if you have parental consent. Yes, huh, you have to.
That's what the permission slip is for, right. I don't remember ever going
across state lines. We would go to Harrisburg, you never did a DC
trip as a kid, No, we did. We did a DC trip
in eighth grade too, I didn't. We went to Intercourse, Pennsylvania and
in eighth grade. How much fun was that? Just making fun of that
name? Blue Balls Intercourse burd in hand, there's a blue Balls Pennsylvania,
Versionville, Paradise. They're all around each other, and they're all where the
Amish live. That's weird and on purpose. There's no way it's not um.
But yeah, that's all I got for today. Would you boys learn
I learned that, amongst other things, I kind of reaffirmed this for me,
idiots can change the course of history. Don't take them lightly. I
learned that I have a new appreciation for Massachusetts. In Boston, Yeah,
and there they're essentially just like our step brother in Philly. Boston and Philly
are Did you just learn that? No, because they all knew it.
Reaffirmed it. Okay, they're really the tip of the spear. We all
hate New York. Yeah, clearly New York was kind of a bitch during
the Revolution. I feel like they were kind of always a little they were
kind of a little fence enter they were. They were, um, who's
Hitler. Um gotta say probably unfortunately, dude, that just you know,
yeah, four dice four yeahs just rolling with it, Yeah, losing everyone's
money and then leaving for Frank. I don't know how you just like short
the most successful compan that's an insane call, Like that's like, you know,
I think been a short Google that he was up for a long time.
So this was like the ultimate heat check. It was like, it's
the bet I should never make, Like I'm god, like, this is
something people tell Mike malloy or not Mike Malloy. Timothy Dexter to right,
and it works out for him because it's Timothy Dexter. But oh yeah,
you should sell cats to people and take hot coals to the Caribbean. Usually
take hot coals to Birmingham. Yeah, it's saying coal to Newcastle, yeah
or Newcastle. Yeah that's what it was. Yeah. Also I guess no,
it's it's Bourdyce Bourdyce. Yeah. Wood an asshole, yeah for sure,
although honestly, like I don't know, just full assholes really. But
it's funny to me that these two things you never really learned about. You
learn about the intolerable acts, you learn about the stamp Act and all that
type issue at the Boston Tea Party. Obviously you don't hear about these little
things that really actually set the stage for those things that you do read about.
Yeah, it's like you can't really point in any one thing, but
it's like, man, these things might have really done it. Yeah,
and well the Boston Tea Party was certainly an inciting incident, but well there
are things that brought people to the point where they would do a Boston tea
party, right exactly. Yeah, but it's and apparently it's one guy.
It's not cover. It's one idiot shorting in history class. You know,
it's not even though that's hilarious, that's I would go fucking nuts learning that.
Yeah, a good teacher could really knock that up in like fifth grade
them, Nah, not what I'm saying. Like, but like high school,
uh yeah, American like yeah for sure, not American government, but
um, American history. Yeah, high school for sure, that would be
great, let alone college. Um. But yeah, that is all I
got for today again. Please leave a five star review on Apple and Spotify
right the review for Apple, we have up Patreon pons Softwore History two extra
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Yeah, I'll get on that. Gonna be dope. Actually, by
the time this happens, we will have it on the site. So sweat
hats, shirts, sweaters, yeah, we'll have it all. But yeah,
that's all I got for Jake Goldman and Damage Ester. I'm Rob Fox.
You just got us all served.