I'm gonna start off the Minnesota Goodbye was something that I wasn't even sure that
I wanted to bring up on the Minnesota Goodbye or on the radio. So
tell me your thoughts on this one. Yeah. So we're at the lake.
We're on Minnaweshta. I think this was on. Yeah, it was
on Sad it doesn't matter, Saturday or Sunday. We're at the lake and
we're out on our little kayak and we bought this inflatable kayak and it's awful
because it doesn't give you any back support, so you can't lean up against
the backrest, so you have to lean all the way back, which means
your head wants to go back, so you have to hold your head up.
And it was awful. Yeah. So we're out there and we're trying
to make the most of it whatever, and we saw something really weird and
this is what I hesitated to bring up. So there's a swimming area at
Minnaweshta Beach and it'll come up to like the average adults waste okay, And
there's a guy who was definitely grandpa with his granddaughter and they were splashing around
and wrestling and having fun and whatever. And then Susan and I we weren't
trying to watch, but this granddaughter was probably about ten, grandpa was sixty
five ish, and he would pick the girls so she's facing him, and
he would pick the girl up with his hands under her butt, under her
thighs and like kind of swinger around, and it was weird and creepy and
inappropriate, and Susan said something. First, she said, Okay, that's
creepy, and I said, yeah, he looks creepy, and because he's
full body contact with his hand under his granddaughter's but I'm gonna guess a granddaughter
could have been anybody, and they're kind of the need thrower in the water.
And then she'd get back up and she was giggling because she's ten and
she didn't know that it was inappropriate. But there's no fucking way that guy
didn't know. You don't pick up a ten year old boy or girl that
way facing you, so their legs are wrapped around you. So it wasn't
like we were going to say anything. I mean, there's no way we
were going to paddle and say, hey, you know what, we don't
know you, We don't know your situation. But we don't like what you're
doing. Yeah, so what do you I mean, were we I'm not
asking were we wrong? Not to say anything, but what are your thoughts?
There's no way that was like that. He didn't realize that's not right.
Am I wrong? Are you sure that a girl's ten, because that
does seem very old for them to like beholding eight or ten. Eight or
ten, yeah, kind of like equated to my niece's four, and I
was like carrying her around this week. Percent yes, because that's what I
said. I said when Alison and Carson were four or five, six,
you bet, But because it's not weird when they're little. I remember when
Carson was two, he hated taking a bath or a shower, so I
would have to get in the shower and hold little naked Carson and wash him.
And I would hold him like up against my side, under his bare
butt and wash him. But he was two. There was nothing creepy about
it that kid needed a shower. But there's an age where it's like you
don't do that. There definitely is an age. I think that some families,
though, are just a little bit more unique in that way. Because
I was at a wedding in the last couple of years where the father of
the bride was giving this really long speech yea and telling all these stories of
the things he used to do. And he talked about like pinching his daughter's
butt in it, and it made me really uncomfortable. I was like it
was like the kind of like punchline of the story, Like she always loved
it because I go up and I'd like, pinch your butt afterwards, and
that was like your thing. And then he'd like say something in like a
baby voice. And to be at like thirty two years old, like if
my dad was saying that about me, I'd be like, ter stop it,
even if like that was something we give here a little. So I
just think that, like some families are different and like a little more like
touchy, but it's very loving, you know, in that way. There's
a skit on Saturday Night Live that goes back ten or fifteen years where the
family whenever they like go to to mom and Dad's house, they kiss each
other like long on the you know that when you've seen it, right.
And I remember when I was dating a girl back in Ohio long ago,
I went to her house and her brother come in and her dad was there,
and her dad and her brother adult brother twenty kissed Dad on the lips,
and I was mortified, horrified. I was like, oh, because
in my family, we didn't even hug much less kiss much less kiss on
the lips. We hugged my mom, My mom would kiss us on the
cheek, but Dad it was a handshake. And I was like, that's
so fucked up. But you're right, to them, it was probably just
normal. So maybe I overreacted to it, But that's kind of why I
brought it up, because to me, in my family, no way what
I would have had ten year old Allison or a nine year old Beth straddle
me almost naked in a swimsuit. Yeah yeah, no, I mean I'm
not saying you're overreacting at all. I'm sure it was like uncomfortable to most
people seeing it, but to them, like I said, it, probably
it's just like their families like that. Like my family was leaving for the
weekend to go back home to Wisconsin because they were visiting, and I went
and gave my niece and nephew a hug and stuff, and then I went
to like try to give everyone else a hug and my family's just not a
hugging family. But I'm a hugger. Yeah, And so they even brought
it up. They're like, what are you doing, Like, we're not
huggers, and I was like, well, I am so get used to
it. I'm gonna hug you all. Yeah. My dad a few years
before he died, he was never a hugger. I said, I'm gonna
give you a hug anyway, Dad, I'm gonna give you a hug.
And then he would kind of like do the half one arm pat on the
back kind of a hug. Ava. My granddaughter is coming up on three
and I went over there yesterday and for a little cookout for Memorial Day.
And when I left, Alison, her mom said, give Grandpa. She
calls me Peepa, which is horrible, Give peepa hug. And Ava came
over and gave me a hug. But I know that you're not supposed to
ask kids to hug people. If the kid wants to, that's great,
But I think that there's it's kind of come up in the last few years.
Don't have the expectation that your kids should hug anybody that they don't want
to hug, but she gladly did. She loves me. It's so funny
because she is at that age when she's got to show off everything. So
the minute I walked in the door, she climbed up on my lap and
she wanted to show me a book that makes noises, and then she wanted
to show me this, and then she wanted me to go to the park
with her. So all right, moving on to the emails. This one
said trigger warning. And I missed all week of shows last week because I
was in the hospital. I had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry to hear
that. Listening to you guys and catching up has made me feel more normal
and has helped me a ridiculous amount. Thank you for being helping me forget
about the seriousness and realness of the world around me. It's a break that
I needed and appreciate it. I find so much joy in being able to
laugh at something when everything in my life seems to suck. That is Jenny
from Arizona. Jenny, I'm glad you listened all the way in Arizona.
I'm sorry you've gone through that, and I hear you sometimes everything in life
seems to suck. This happens, Then this happens, Then this happens.
Just know that it'll get better. Right now, Chase is going through some
shit. My son Chase, and he has overworked and life has thrown a
lot of stuff, and he's trying to close up his mom's estate because his
mom died last November. And he said, I said, I said,
is there anything I can do for you? Said, just give me some
good advice and support. And I said, it'll get better. I said,
right now, it sucks, but it will get better when work slows
down and life slows down, and you're only going to have to close out
your mom's estate one time. You're only going to have to close her bank
account and her credit cards one time, then things will get better. So
I would say the same thing to you, Jenny, is that things will
get better, all right. Next one, I have a favor to ask.
I actually want to say this for the air, but I'll go ahead
and read this as I started. I'm a girl fairly young but not too
young. In your next War of the Roses, when you talk to Jonathan
Fogel, could you please please tell him there's a young girl named Sophie in
Minnesota that wants to be a family lawyer. I would be so happy to
hear that. I'm a huge fan of War the Roses listen every single episode.
Thanks so much, your biggest fan, Sophie. I will I will
pass that along to him. That's very nice. Next one I haven't been
able to and this is again for more for the morning show, but just
to follow it up, there was a guy who called in last week said
that he got dumped by his girlfriend of eight years. She was tired of
waiting. What could he do to get her back? And so we talked
about that for a little bit. She said, basically that happened to me
too, but I was the woman. I made a life altering change in
my life by losing a hundred and sixty five pounds, and I cracked out
of my shell in order to find out who I was and who I really
wanted to be with to make me happy. I feel like when I met
the first guy, I wanted love so bad. I wanted to have a
boyfriend so bad, and he did want the same things I did. But
basically time went on and she lost the physical attraction, and then basically it
gave her an opportunity to meet her person out of the blue, when she
wasn't even looking for a relationship. I had truly found love within myself and
grew to love who I am. I feel you can't let someone love you
until you can love yourself. So maybe we can have her at Shout.
Her should be on the show, so maybe we can have her on sometime
next One we were talking about the State Fair preview. I think it was
last weekend. I was, well, yeah, it was last weekend.
Yeah, And I said, I love the State Fair, which I do,
but I don't want to hear about the State Fair this early in the
season. The same way I don't want Christmas decorations up in Walmart in July
the Fairest Special, but I don't want to be reminded that summer is rapidly
approaching State Fair time. So Christie writes in said, I know it was
in good humor, but the kickoff of the summer at the State Fair was
great, small crowd, free parking, lots of great food, in music.
I found a new a few food items that I would have never founded
the actual State Fair because it's so big, in so many and so many
options. I went Thursday. They had seven bands playing throughout all were amazing,
and it was nice to be able to grab food and go and just
sit listen to music. Although I definitely understand where you're coming from. I
have family that grew up going to the fair and showing animals at the fair.
Then I did it, and now I go three times a year to
watch my nieces show their animals. Love you all from Christie, so you
know I'll stick with that. I mean, I'm glad you had a good
time. It's cool that they do it, but I don't want State Fair
stuff. Until August, I know, we were giving away Jonas Brothers tickets
all weekend for the State Fair, and I was on on Sunday and I
was like, man, I just I kept saying. I was like,
I don't want to be talking about the State Fair right now, but here
are your tickets for Jonas Brothers. It's no kidding because it's still like it's
literally it's going to be going on in let's see three months June, July,
August, three months away from the fair. Okay, last one checking
for time we're doing okay. I wanted to respond to the woman whose husband
is having a hard time connecting with her newborn, as her story sounds a
lot like mine. A few weeks ago, we were talking with somebody whose
husband cannot connect. No, it was two guys, right, it was
two guys, and one guy was a couple of weeks ago. Now yep,
and he doesn't connect with the baby, even though they both really wanted
a baby. The first couple of weeks, my husband and I were both
on cloud nine after bringing our daughter home. I really thought things couldn't get
any better than this. But after a few weeks there was a shift.
He had a very hard time dealing with her crying. It would instantly shift
his mood and would completely disconnect and shut down and even get angry. I
would try to help and explain ways of bonding with her at such a young
age, but he didn't want to hear it and thought it was a bunch
of crap I was picking up from the internet. Oh, a bunch of
crap that I was picking up from the internet. We got into a few
nasty fights about it. I had fallen so deeply in love with our daughter,
and I just couldn't understand how he didn't see how amazing she was and
how easy of a baby she really was. Thankfully, I do have a
therapist that I've been seeing since long before our daughter to help me navigate this.
She explained to me, Hey, it's completely normal for men to have
a harder time bonding with their baby. Men tend to need more instant gratification,
and you don't get that from a newborn. They are literally just little
blobs that you need to keep alive for the first six or so months.
Then they start to gain a little personality and they smile and they make eye
contact. Yeah, our daughter is now ten months old. That's gotten better.
She is so much more responsive and playful. He still has such a
hard time when she cries, but he is able to get over it much
more quickly when she smiles or when he makes her giggle. Even if she's
in another room with me and he hears her giggling, he'll stop what he's
doing and come in so he can be a part of the fun. One
of our friends also had the same issues bonding with his son when he arrives,
so my husband did have someone he could connect with and relate to on
this, which seemed to help. He truly was hating himself because he couldn't
understand why he wasn't able to connect with her and felt like thing was wrong
with him. So having someone that had been through it was a great support
thing for him. Anyway, she goes on to say, Christine, thank
you. Also, I want to say thank you to Dave in the whole
Morning crew. I'm and listening to your show for literally as long as I
can remember. I am twenty nine now, and my mom always had the
Dave Ryan Show on when she would bring us to school. I moved three
hours north of the Cities and still listen to you on I Heart on my
way into work and listen to the Minnesota Goodbuye on my way home. You
all bring so much light and joy to my day. Thank you so much
for what you do, Christine. Christine, that makes me emotional when you
say that. And I think I talked about last week how I get frustrated
because I get emotional at the dumbest things. I was trying to describe something
as Susan this weekend and I was getting choked up. It was something about
I was watching a story on TV and I don't even know these people,
and I said, it's frustrating because I get choked up at the dumbest things,
and I said, I think it's low testosterone, and so I think
I need to go have my testosterone checked because I get emotional at the dumbest
things. Have you heard of that. I haven't heard of that. But
I think that you're a sentimental and nostalgic person and I'm pretty similar in that
aspect too, And I think, I mean, I don't know what you're
talking to Susan about last weekend, but like when you came in here and
engineering head fixed something that was your dad's, yeah, and you started getting
choked up about that. I completely understood that because your dad's no longer here
with us, and it was something that meant a lot to you, So
why would you not get choked up about something that brought back memories? But
I should be able to describe something without going like this, you know what
I mean. And it's just frustrating because I want to get the story out,
but sometimes I can't get the story out because I'm through and I didn't
used to be like that. And I think maybe it's something that's like guys
get older, they're losing the testosterone, and you got to go down and
get like you know, like testosterone shots or something like that. I think
there's nothing wrong with getting emotional. I think that it's totally fine, because
I struggled with that for a very long time because I am more emotional,
like a crying sense of things like then some people are. And I struggled
for a while because it made me feel so vulnerable when I would get when
I would cry about things that I feel like I shouldn't be crying about.
And I watched some TED talks by a woman named Brenne Brown and I believe
it's her last name, and it just kind of taught you how to like
lean into that vulnerability and feel comfortable within it. And I mean, like,
yeah, maybe it is low test rosterom for you, but I think
there's also a mental aspect for it. I think the thing is for me,
it's frustrating because I shouldn't be. It'll be an emotional level of one
to ten, about a two, and here I am going and it's like
I get frustrated because I want to tell the story and not choke up and
get my eyes tearing up when I'm talking about smoking ribs, you know what
I mean. It's like, oh, they were so good. I mean
that might be a little bit much of you're getting tearing up? No shit,
So do you do you get emotional and cry over emotional sentimental, sad
ish thing or out of frustration. See, I don't cry out of frustration
ever. I don't remember in my life ever, and I'm sure I have
but crying out of like and they just were so unfair and I can't believe
they did that. I don't get frustrated and cried that way. I'm more
sentimental. What about you, I am definitely. I mean I wouldn't say
frustrations in there. I think like if Andrew and I have a disagreement about
something, I will get emotional in a crying way and he gets more like
angry, and that's the way he shows his emotion, and I show my
emotion and crying, and then I don't think logically when I'm like in that
argument. Then so I like take a step back and I'll be like,
we gotta stop right now because all I'm doing is crying and I can't like
speak what I want to say, so that will happen to me. But
no, I definitely get very nostalgic. I remember my senior year of high
school. I sat and I would like cry because me and a group of
friends we ran our school store. It was a part of Decco, which
is like marketing in high school, and we ran this school store, and
I would get so emotional every little thing, like this is the last we're
going to do this our senior year, Like this is the last time I'm
want to see you. Guys were all going to go out to college,
and they would always make fun of me because I was like kidding, cheer
it up. And it might be so sad about the nostalgic things. That's
interesting that you realize that in high school, because most people don't really get
how high school is the end of so much and the beginning of a lot
too, and it doesn't dawn on them until, like, you know,
months later, or weeks later or whatever, when they realize, oh my
god, that was our last ride on the school bus, that was our
last lunch hour together. And I still clearly remember my last day of high
school and how freaking surreal it was that it's all over, and it's bittersweet.
It's it's sad because you are you not coming back. You're not coming
back. On Monday, morning. You're not coming back tomorrow, you're not
going to history class, you're not going to you know, basketball practice or
whatever. But at the same time, you're graduating from high school. So
I think that's way more joyful for me than it was sentiment. So anyway,
that's it for the Minnesota goodbye. What are your thoughts tell me about
the guy at the lake. I want to know about your thoughts on the
guy at the lake. I would have never been a Karen and said anything,
But maybe you're like Dave, you absolutely should have said something, or
maybe you're like that happens in my family is totally normal. Shut up,
mind your own business. Maybe you want to talk about emotions, breaking up,
whatever you want to talk about or bring something new. Send us an
email to Ryan's show at KDWB dot com.