Hi, Heather, Hi Heather. Oh hey wow, what is that?
Oh my god? Seat listen, listen, listen. I was going to
do a professional introduction tonight, so I'm going to do that. That wasn't
a good start, but here we go, Here we go. Welcome to
Laura Kane after Dark, the podcast that's been going on twice a week for
almost five years. I'm Laura Kane. I used to be on with a
show called Jeff and Jerer for many years. You were, Yes, I'm
just reintroducing myself to Hall of Fame. We are in the Radio Hall of
Fame in Chicago. Our picture. Hey, thank you, oh thank you,
thank you very much. Oh thank you. And now I do traffic
reports and sometimes acting gig if I get them, which I've received zero so
far, and I'm on Star ninety four one, which I will I'm going
to be on tomorrow, Tuesday, and I'll tell you about that in a
minute. Okay, okay, this is Eric Rimmer, former or like on
Hiatus celebrity stylists. Yes, okay, worked in Hollywood for many years and
which is amazing and I think that you should start doing that again. Thank
you. Brad Pitt never wore this hat. No, but you know I
would like that hat probably Reeves. Oh yes, mister Reeves. I was
thinking Elton John And that voice you hear over there is our twenty three year
old producer. Because it's just it just is. Because I could have given
birth to you. You forgot to say in addition to celebrity stilets, you
forgot to say several things. Oh my bff of seventeen years, Yes,
eighteen eighteen years. That's right, okay, almost as old as I am.
I know, I okay, whoa mind blown? What I am?
Excellent talent? Oh yeah, he's the talent of the show. You want
to be sex symbol and a royal pain in your ass at times bingo bing
bing bing. And then producer Brian, Thank you Brian for putting up with
this show and producing it so well. Okay, first of all, before
I get to anything else and he teases any anything breaking news, please play
the breaking news sound effect. I've been notified that we have a visitor who
has come to present Eric, which something profound real quick because he has very
little time. I was just informed of this and apparently it's very very important.
Welcome pickle dude to the show hello. It looks like, oh,
hi, pickle dude, nice to wave whatever. Oh here, let's show
your body. There we go. There's pickle dude. For the people that
are on Instagram Live. I'd ask pickle dude if I could push in a
stool, but that sounds that's its gross And pickle edude doesn't speak, and
he's running out of time. He's running time he has So what's in your
hand? What's in your hand? It looks like you're going to have to
read that, Eric, Oh to read it? Yes, panty host Okay,
okay, what does it say? This is from Buenos Noches. I
am pickled dude. I have come from a land far away to present Eric
Grimmer with something very powerful, a necessity. You have said five words repeatedly
over the last few years. I took it upon myself to make your metaphor
a reality. This will speak louder than words. This will help you make
an important point. Use it in the next time a business does you're wrong.
Use it in the next time someone does you dirty. Use it with
the utmost fervor. Eric, I present you this a bag of dicks.
Now, when you say eat a bag of dicks, you mean it.
It's a literal a are you kidding me? Probably the greatest gift I've ever
received. That is is amazing And they all have little faces on different colors.
I love it. I wait, there's something at the bottom. Asta
loego, No, he says. Now when you see say eat a bag
get dicks, you mean it. I really like this one, pickle,
Dude, this is a very powerful tool for Eric. It is I I
uh, this is this is I feel so you could have taken that with
you to your many trips to what was Jerome? Yes, that's the one.
I might just take one of these in there and leave it on one
of the couches. What's a old bag? How many times have you said
eat a bag of dicks? So many Jeromes? A million times? I
know a lot of other things businesses. That bag will last them like all
week. I know, mister pickle, I might eat another bag. Oh
okay, thank you amazing, very very very profound. Look there's a pink
one like a little balls that's probably closer to what you look like. Right,
this colors closest to you? You right, you got a little kink
one? Or is this one closest to you with the bag of dicks.
Right, Oh, come on, that's fun, all right, this is
hilarious. Okay, So you're asking me to put down a bag of props,
Yes, put down a bag of props. Please dick away. We
have a segment we haven't done in a while which I am terrified. Oh
called I eat this, not that, not wait for this where Eric blind
folds me and feeds me, sometimes regular stuff, sometimes not regular stuff.
But it's always scary and I always hate it. What was the worst thing
you've ever put in your mouth? You know, I don't want to gross
you were out right off the bat, But the grossest thing I've ever put
in my mouth fully in my mouth and swallowed a few Eric's hey down there?
Oh not for hair from his head? Ooh that sounds awful. Not
hair from his head, arm hair, not air from his chest, armpit
hair, not armpit hair. No, South, we're talking pubes Jesus.
They were clean, They felt like feathers. There's no such things. They
were there, nic showered, Yeah, there's as clean as can be,
but there's no true clean down there. You're not going to do something that
wretched, are you? I'm pleading? Oh my gosh, going ass crack
this time. Oh and we have to talk about some things in the Double
Dean News, very important things, very important. I wanted to give a
shout out to somebody real quick who came in the blink of an eye today
when I needed him, because I've been running on fumes. Last night.
I worked from four to about ten thirty PM, got home, had to
do a bunch of stuff, one to bet at like twelve thirty, had
to wake up at three thirty because I had to go back to work at
five. So I was feeling not like sick, but just gross. And
I'm like, you know what, you know what I'm going to do.
I'm going to be like the people in Hollywood. I'm going to be fancy.
I'm going to call one of those mobile hydration iv places, oh boy,
and I'm going to get someone to come to my house and give me
some fluids because I think that's what I need. And vitamins. Okay,
you said you had somebody come to your house and give you some fluids.
Was this like a tender date? No, not that kind of fluid.
Oh okay, this is creative IVY, create IVY Hydration. He has an
office right near to Lee's a marina near that lamp store. He also will
do it. He'll come to your house and you can go on his website.
You can call him at eight five eight. Oh gosh, I just
totally When I printed out his number, the last two numbers went on.
All right. He is awesome. His name is Evan Lucy. He is
he's an I see you nurse, but he does this, so he's like
totally qualified. Let me tell you. I was sitting there and immediately I
started feeling like better and better, and the vitamins and the zinc and the
vitamin C and something else he put in there and something else he put in
there, and it just was like something else. Well it's called blue thiomon,
does that make sense? I can't remember the word, but it's like
a really good one. It's it was felt a god, but it lasted
like I don't know already half hour eight five eight three five eight six six
eight nine. Okay, And we'll put it on our website too, because
he really deserves a shout out. And I think, what do you think
about us getting an IVY while we're doing the show? No, now,
why I hate needles. I'll pass out. No you won't, Yes,
I will. Okay, what if we get the needle in you? Let
me just tell you, you're gonna feel so good, like really good.
How about we put it? How will we put it to the test?
If he doesn't have some knu reads update by next week, he's getting the
needle. You're getting the needle. You know we'll talk about this. I
know you will do. I want us all to do it while we're doing
the show, and you can see it's like perking up and getting It's just
it's such a cool feeling. So I feel like I felt like a brand
new person after this. I'm already perky. Oh my god, stop it
all right? Before we get it into I think we should do the double
DS first because we have a couple of really important things to talk about.
And then it's not that. Why don't we do that first? Do you
want to do that first? I think we should do that. All right.
First, let's talk about our sponsors though, And you wanted to say
something very special. I do my new bff. I'm sorry, Laura.
Where am I on the list now? Well? Forwartzler? Oh okay?
Is he number one at the moment? Oh? Man, Oh did you
go see him? I did? Oh good, Yes he is now managing
me. Oh yay, So that's so great. Oh I love Jay.
Then he says to say hello to everybody. So Jay is a money manager
with Capital Growth, Inc. And here's more about Capital Growth in He's awesome.
He is, He's the best. Are you ready to take control of
your financial future? Look no further than Jay Wartzler. You're trusted and our
favorite certified financial planner. Life is full of financial decisions and with thirty plus
years of experience and a dedication to your financial wellbeing, Jay is your partner
and achieving your financial goals. So if you're at or near retirement and you
want to know if you have sufficient assets and income sources for a comfortable retirement,
or if you are simply changing jobs and you're unsure about what you're options
are with your current retirement plan, please reach out to j. Jay Wurtzler
and the team at Capital Growth go the extra mile to ensure your financial success.
Their office is a one stop shop for financial advising, estate planning,
tax preparation and divorce analysis. Call J today at eight five eight five five
two six' nine six to zero or email him at jayw at Capitolgrowthinc.
Dot com. La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center is the place to go if you're
looking to rejuvenate your appearance, tighten and shape your body, and just just
something special for yourself. You deserve to look your very best. Laoya Cosmetic
Surgery Center offers over ninety procedures and treatments for a natural, youthful appearance.
They are absolutely the best in the business. Try out their treatment planner at
glamfam dot com. It's so easy and amazing to use. We can't say
enough great things about their board certified plastic surgeons. And guess what they offer
flexible payment plans so you can start your journey to a better you right now.
Free consultations too. The very best in the business is in our own
backyard. How lucky are we? Make sure you tell them that Laura Kane
after Dark sent you. We love everything about La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center.
Go to dot com. Did you want to talk about your website for before
we get in to eat this? Not that, Yes, I'd like to
talk about that before you throw up. I don't throw up. I just
I you know me, I'm not an I do not just might this time.
Yeah, but you're pretty susceptible to it though. Yeah, if I
make throw up noises, you will throw up. No, that's not the
case. I will run. My palms get sweaty, I get nervous,
I get super anxious that it's a phobia, Like it doesn't make me want
to puke, it makes me want to like you know what I wish I
had. I wish I had brought a bunch of things with like tight circles
and then oh the trip phobia. Yeah, what does make you throw up
up? Actually? Tuna, I hate you. I brought the case of
tuna with me today in my bag all day, like a tuna mel e.
God, I'd rather die. You may want to is there if there's
any fish related items in eat this? Not that I may what French kissue
after eating said fish. I don't like. I don't like being blindfolded and
folded and being fish. I like halibit and that's about it. Ragon and
that's about it. Super but like tuna salad? No no, no,
no, okay, So what about your website before we get to eat this?
So I'm launching my website on I just launched it on Instagram. Okay,
I don't have the pricing on yet there yet, but it's my photography,
so all the photographs aren't up yet. I'm still in the process of
editing them, okay, and then I'm going to have a store on Etsy.
Who I want to know who is creating all this for you? Somebody
else? Not you? No, I'm doing it. You're doing the website.
You're making the website. Well, no, I haven't made the website
yet. I'm doing it strictly on Instagram and Etsy. Right, Oh,
okay, job he does, because there's no friggin' way he would ever be
able to complete a website. Portfolio websites are easy, though, Yeah.
Yeah, but it's it's called Larkin Earl So it's l A r k I
n earl e A r l E and it's on Instagram right now. Seeking
take a look at that. And what kind of pictures do you create?
I do nature, animals and floral and structure, And what makes your photos
different from somebody else's because I have a good eye and you edit them.
Really they are really beautiful, thanks studying colors and really cool. I don't
know what you do or how I mean you're a are really great and thank
you so good luck. Let us know when you know everything is ready to
go and the pricing's ready, I will, but you can promote it.
You can look at the photographs. Now, if you have any questions,
you can d M me and I will give you. Does it have its
own Instagram page? Okay, and it's Larkin and Earl Larkin, Earl Larkin
Earl follow now yay, yay, yay, I'll put it on my social
media. Okay, now, let's just do this. Let's get it over
with. Oh, where's you're blindfol Uh? I don't have one shit,
I'll just use that towel right there. Oh boy, do you know what
that towl has been used for? No? Do you? Oh? Here,
I saw a pickle rick through something to it I have Oh no,
I'll just use it. I don't even care if he was polishing off one
of the dicks. Oh god, I won't say if it was in the
bag or not. You know that towel could have been used for many,
many things. Okay, all right, fine, this is fine, this
is fine. Just hook it below your nose, yes, yes, yes,
yes, okay, I can't see a thing, perfect all right,
this is amazing. Now I'm going to take my headphones off so I have
a little more free range. Okay, do you have enough room on the
table? And you might want to move the Instagram live if you guys are
watching live you I don't know because I have no control and it's making me
feel out of control because I'm in control freak lately. Well is that a
live rat lately? No? My god? Oh I what I know what
You're going to make me eat? I'm going to be really mad about it.
It is a whole ass salmon. What is it? Tell me?
I told him the other night, or he told me he wants to make
me dinner one of these nights. Yeah, we'll see when that will happen.
And I said, you know what. I was being super bossy and
probably very rude, but I just said, you know what, please don't
make Lamb. I don't want to eat what waa? So picky? I
just don't wanna Lamb is delicious, she's such a big but I don't want
them. I was like, do you want to try out a new tie
recipe? That could be cool? Do you know how to make fun that'd
be fun? Yuck? So anyway if you're feeding me, lamb, I
am not having it. Open your mouth. Wait, okay, wait,
wait wait the premise is what of this game? Eat this? Not that
you have mystery? How many things am I going to be tasty? Five?
Are they all? Okay? Wait, let me ask you? Wait
wait wait? Yes? Are they all really bad things? Or are is
one of them? Like something normal? Well? They're all normal. Let's
just get it over with. Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh
my god, I gotta wait to go. Okaykay, I'm gonna move your
microphone just a little bit, all righty, open your mouth? Oh my
god, you think was gonna happen next? Mm hmm. It's so kind
of fruit? This is a this is a lemon, it's a fruit.
It's a isn't a line of fruit? No, it's a citrus. That's
not a smart response. I don't know. Definitely fruit. Fruits and citruses
are the same thing, aren't they? Oh God, that was a shocker
right off the bat. But okay, okay, okay, okay, Oh
it's only gonna get worse from here. Gay, Ready, open your mouth.
What did you just stick your finger in there just to be a jerk?
Where God wears that finger bind. God only knows. I know it's
been in the dog treat bag. No commentary. I I'm too scared.
Man. This is really bad and not that bad. Okay, ready,
yes, okay, open your mouth wide. Oh holy hell, I really
don't want to do this. Okay, hmmm, God forbid, what the
hell is this? My mouth is on fire and it's like mealy. It's
mealy and my mouth is on fire. Oh is this horse radish? Yeah,
but I think it's expired. That's why it's in like weird pieces in
my mouth. I'm really really really hot. Oh okay, Oh my god.
Oh this should be a treat This next one of rotten eggs and sulfur.
My god, open mouth. Ah okay, it was pesto, Come
on, that was good. I was gonna say it. It tastes a
little bit like spaghetti sauce that has a lot of parmesan cheese on it.
But great, that's past. My palate is like trash. Sorry, it's
not gummy beer flavored pesta, know exactly. Oh my god, Oh I
need something. Oh is this the last one? Oh my god, I
don't like the sound of the jar. Are you ready? Oh? Oh,
Brian, Oh shoot, oh no, please make it the smallest amount.
Okay it is actually no, that's cheating what you did. That's a
whole opinion. That's good. Oh my god, I know it's all over
my face. Oh god, is this the worst one? This is the
woo and I saved the best for last free cane? Brian, do you
see what it is? It's a it's fried lamb covered in lam sauce.
No, actually, do you really? Do you know what it is?
Stuffed inside a halibu? Please give me this motty here comes to Choochoo train.
One. You might have diarrhea. One, two, three, Oh
my god. It tastes like a combination of gasoline hot sauce, like something
lick witty that I can't get, like front down my throat all the way.
What was that? It was a mango hot sauce. Oh that sounds
good. He gave you good food. I don't know why. Oh he
didn't because I can't handle anything hot. I thought for sure I was going
to get another dog treat of some sword. Oh wait a minute, hold
on, there's one more thing. Why did I open my big mouth?
I don't want to hear we did do the Ghost Pepper challenge and you're out
here getting I will fully admit I am a complete wiss when it comes to
hot things. I can't do anything. You admitting it doesn't make me feel
better about it. Well, it just well, I'm not like denying it
or saying that it's cool or anything. It's not. I wish i'd like
to really spicy. Saying that just makes it gonna be harder for you when
we force you to eat spicy food. I'm not gonna do that. I
am technically the boss, right whatever, Okay, ready, am I I'm
going to regret this? What do you mean? It's it's the last thing?
Ready? Open mouth? Oh god? Ready? One? Two three,
there's like kind of like a big bunch of nothing. What let me
tell you, cardboard. You didn't wonder I was his dog treats? Which
one is it? Oh god? What flavors? It probably has like liver
and it's some crazy that is gross? Oh no, What am I gonna
do with I'm not gonna spit it out. Come ready here? Oh god,
I'm gonna smaller. Oh god, I don't want to about this.
Hold on, did you swall I did? Oh? Gross? Oh my
god, well Eric, look my eyes are like watering. See I cannot
any kind of salsa, any kind of thing. You did it. I
know, but I'm just saying, like the aftermath is bad. Like I
start crying, I starts wedding. I thought you love Mexican food. I
do, but I just don't put like I put the most mild salsa like
Pico though, like yes, I like Pica. You had like trelula pretty
mild, like I can only put like one dot. We're gonna fix that.
Oh yeah, I want to. But like whoa, there's oh god,
you know what we should do. There's that show called hot Ones where
they have they get the celebrities wings that are increasingly hotter. We should do
something like that. That would be goody me just to interview style. We'll
just talk to each other. We'll all eat like something spicy. That was
so much fun. I think you guys should do it because it'd be like
a dude thing. No, like the wing thing, ready to but have
you done? You haven't done the wings. I don't eat wings. I
wouldn't do wings. I do someone maybe like a burrito and we just have
to like each buyers put a hotter salce on it. You guys ate the
chip that had the hottest of the hot I was rough gonna lie. I
had diarrhea for two days. We don't even eat the chip. We ate
like one quarterer of it. Yeah, I know, so that you guys
have already done something like that. But oh my god, we'll figure it's
next mommy, Oh no, no, no, no, all right,
let's play the Double D News because we need to talk. Yes, we
do, we do. Yeah, what is going on with the royal family
and Kate Middleton? Why are all these like conspiracy theories in this picture that
she posted that everybody's gone crazy about. So here's here's my question. I
just heard that and this is a a legend that he had an fair with
another woman and that woman got pregnant and had a kid. Really is that
one of the conspiracy theories? Or is that is that just that's one of
the rumors right now? That's a long standing rumor though, actually, oh
yeah, and that she okay, so where is she? She like just
obviously mad, but like not showing her face in public with him in the
royal family maybe though really, I mean, she hasn't been seen that even
know if they're like on the fritz or anything. She she also had like
an adominal surgery or something. Yeah that. At first they were saying that
she had something like a this is a legit like a and I'm not sure,
like a Brazilian butt lift or something like that. Then I heard it
was an adminal thing. No, she's just pissed and she's gone, and
they're trying to figure out pr wise what to do with this affair in this
baby, I don't I don't know, okay, because I saw an a
video. Where did you see the picture of her and the kids? Yeah?
Yes, okay, that face. That picture is exactly the same picture
that was taken ten years earlier, this same face. It lines up perfectly,
so it was completely photoshopped. The whole entire picture was photoshopped. Maybe
that's you know how hard that is to do, though, I don't know
if I buy that. No, And well, do you know how hard
it is to get all three kids smiling and looking in one direction at one
time? Too? I mean, it's just not as hard. Though I
don't know it's been manipulated. I don't doubt that it's been touched up.
It's probably been airbrush a little bit, although people tend to smile pretty identically
each way, so I wouldn't be shocked if you can find two photos in
matchup. Well, they can also do this though, with the magic of
photography. They could just is she was she wearing a different outfit? Yeah?
She was? Yeah, So all they have to do is put her
face on just a different outfit in a different scenario. So why did they
post photo just like, hey, here's an update. Here's me and the
fan, just a photo of them. Yeah, and he wasn't in it,
right or was he? I don't remember. I don't remember, but
yeah, this is causing like all sorts of God. And then Megan and
Harry, what are they doing right now? I know they've kind of fallen
off the face God. Well it's because of all this stuff with the other
two and William. You know what Netflix keeps recommending to me is that damn
suits show, and I don't want to see it. It's actually the first
three seasons are pretty good if you get past Meghan Merkle. That's the only
reason I would watch it is just to see her acting. Shops. It's
not great. She is very attractive, but it's kind of ruined by the
fact that you can just kind of see that there's not It doesn't seem like
there's a lot going on behind those eyes. Is that marriage going to last
the long term? Yes? I think if everybody leaves him alone, maybe,
I think so good. I hope so, I hope so he went
full on board for her. He's already in too deep. I have to
tell you what. I tried to watch three movies in one show this weekend,
and they were all horrific. Oh, on various streaming sites. Yes,
so on I think it was prime. I watched Poor Things that Emma
Stone just won. Oh, she's kind of like a female Frank and still
right. Oh my god. I didn't even make it through. Why it
was horrible. I don't know about that. She won an oscar. Yeah.
Eric's opinions on movies tend to be polar, opposite of common consensus,
so it was just it was his favorite. Is like Jason Statham, he
loves Like the Love, which has never gotten above forty of those anything.
The bee Keeper was really really good. Oh, I'm going to see that.
I do want to see that. Okay, So that one was that
I didn't even finish that. I think right before the hour mark, I
turned it off. Then I just I said, okay, I'm gonna watch
the updated version of The Color Purple. Is this the one that has music
in it? Yes? Okay? And I made it about ten minutes and
that went off. Then I decided, oh, I'll watch Wonka. Oh
I can't wait to see that. Oh, yes you can. It's on
HBO Max. Yes it is. Yes, it's a musical. It's just
delightful and it makes you feel so happy. And he does a really good
He does it justice. He does Gene Wilder justice. The Originally I don't
want Timothy Chalomey's brand of Wonka happiness. Now it was it was a musical,
Laura, are we a little bit jealous? Oh no, no,
oh no. Timothy Shalomy is like the hot I don't know. He's the
body of an underdeveloped twelve year old. He it's just his persona and the
way he acts, and he's acting risks that he takes, like call me
by my name, Oh my god, that is so good. I thought
the movie was weird, slightly predatory, but I am amazed he has been
able to play any other role besides the young gig boy because he looks like
a twelve year old gigi probably in real life. But he No. Did
you ever see Oh God, it's called Handsome Boy or good Boy with Steve
Carell and he plays the drug addict My darling boy, beautiful boy, beautiful
boy. It looks like he has no test like, not a single drop
of testosterone. Not to me, it's affecting my chemistry. Ood boy,
you know, talk about predatory. It literally as soon as the first song
was note was just verbalized during Wonka in the first four minutes. I was
like, I'm out. You didn't know what was a musical? Nope,
and don't ever plan on watching it. So then I decided to watch the
new Kate Winslet show on HBO Max called The Regime. Oh yeah, okay,
I was thinking about that. Oh no, oh god? Why why
dumb? Yeah? Yeah? Did I tell you that we saw the movie
with the Hand Talk to Me? Yes, finally saw that movie. Oh
my god? Did you see it? No? Oh, tonight, you
gotta watch it tonight, Brian, did you see Talk to Me? I
don't know if it's on anything right now. No. I had to pay
like four nine. It was on HBO Max. I think it's worth it,
though, I think do you think? I think it is good,
very good, different, it's it's not that scary of a horror movie.
In fact, I would I would actually barely put it in horror than the
fact that it has a dark theme to it. But it's not very scary.
It is interesting, it's scary. I think it's a little overrated,
but I think it is good. But it is a little overrated. It's
scary. It's got a great music scene too, trust me. Okay,
okay. Concept So tomorrow or if you're watching Live thank You tomorrow on Jesse
and Tati's show on Star ninety four to one, I'm going to be on
in the seven o'clock hour. I've decided that they needed to play with us
what's your price? So I play a little round and what's your price with
Jesse and Tata tomorrow. I think it's like around seven to thirty year.
Can you shout me out just like any way you can just like throw my
name in there somehow maybe if you're a good boy, if you're nice to
meet tonight, I know, I know how you can, how you can
make this work in your favor. Make him say that he loves you.
That's not how that show rolls. No, No, he's saying right now
now and then return, I get a shout out, and then return you
get a show. Well, put the camera on yourself. We'll discuss that
later. No to say to Eric, I'm kidding. I actually went and
watched your clip from when You're on with Tommy. Yeah, on the air
with Selly and Little Tommy. We talked about the Keanu Reeves thing. That's
cool. Yeah, they put the letter up on the screen. She said
my name, so I was like, I'm famous again. I did.
I said, I plugged it. They let you know. It was really
cool that I was able to say a good story too. It is a
great story, depending on how true the details are. That Eric still is
so tight left about what's come on? What's going on? What happened?
There's something going on. There's something else, right, Yes, there's something
pending. She keeps forgetting, Yes, that you keep forgetting at your house.
Yeah. Hell, you're killing me. You're killing me. You're killing
me. That's whatever. Anyways, I thought that was a cool segment.
I enjoyed watching it. Brian's gonna love it though, Thank you. Thank
you for that. Did you like the band sitting on Stacy? They they're
I skip through everything, but oh you did this section. They're actually really
really good. They're managed by Blink One's manager and they were found by the
Jonas brothers on TikTok and they're just really good. Like I was just interested
in hearing about me, so I skipped through that, skip through everything else.
This says like an hour long. I was just my reaction. Okay,
so do you we can do a couple of either what your prices now
or I think I should save those because we should do the full out what
your price because I have some good Okay, Okay, so we'll wait on
that. Okay. Do you guys chew gum? No all the time.
You are the one of the only people left in the world who chew gum.
I love gum. I guess. Gum sales dropped by a third in
the United States during the pandemic, which makes some sense, I guess,
but it never went back up. People will just stop chewing gum. Why
here, Okay, here's my thing. I love gum, but I hate
figure out to do with the gum once it becomes gross because I used to
just swallow it, okay, and I feel like I for some reason,
I feel like I can't anymore, Like I'm having difficulty trouble. Also,
maybe I get too bigger gum now, but it's becoming difficult to swallow that
gum. I don't know why this is gonna dovetail right into our segment on
Thursday, because this is one of the questions. Oh, what's your price?
Every time you chew gum? You have to swallow it instead of spit
it out. That's the way you get rid of it for a full year.
Oh okay, that's nothing. What would be your price? At least
five grand? I do it for five grand? Really, yeah, it's
not that hard, Like why would Yeah, I would do it for like
a thousand bucks. Well I want more than a thousand, though, because
the thousand's just not that much it is to some people, okay, Well
to me, I want at least five granda. Okay. If I'm going
to make some money, it's got to be at least in a five grand.
This is technically show business. But this I didn't know. Did you
know this factoid that datelines Keith Morrison who one Sunday you murder me or somebody
murders me. I don't know. By the way, I want Keith Morrison
to do my date line. I want it to be two hours, and
I wanted to be like a double parter, just as somebody does, and
it's like fantastic. I want Keith Morrison to be the one that does.
If eric, it would be a great story. It would be especially if
you make it like we still do the podcast from prison. You could do
the podcast pretty much from anywhere without anyway, and then I could have like
a picture of like your head shot up behind me. Oh my god,
my god. Well did you know that Keith Morrison was Matthew Perry's stepdad.
Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know. People still watch Dateline
after Chris Hansen's segment end, Oh the best part. No, no,
no date Line. People like myself love murder documentaries, murder shows. Give
me forty eight hours, give me Dateline or any day of the week.
Upon Netflix, it starts on Thursday. I can why is it called something
like three Bodies or something like that. Is it like that like a date
line? Yeah? I will watch forty eight hours, the first forty eight
Yeah, they need to reboot Chris Hansen. That show is so to catch
a predator but become one. It wasn't there some scandal? Yeah, you
know why I got canceled is that they caught, like I think they caught
a senator or something like, someone pretty prominent in like a community. And
he shot himself during a please standoff. They tried to rest them so and
he shot himself. Oh so it wasn't anything that had to do with Chris
Hanson. It's something so I think there is something that has to do with
him. But yes, that was a great He still does stuff. His
show just got canceled. And finally we're going to end this by oh,
first of all, I have a question, and then we're gonna end it
with my latest acting auditions that you have to read. Charles and I'm married.
It's really quick. Okay, what is your favorite time of day?
Exactly? Give me a time of day that you absolutely is your favorite?
Ten pm to midnight? One hour? Ten pm? Is that your favorite
time of the entire day? Okay? Eric, what's your favorite time of
the entire day? Probably when the sun sets, so like six to seven,
Okay, I really like four o'clock in the afternoon. That's work hours
for some of us. I know, but it's like almost getting off work
and then kind of anticipating what you're gonna have for dinner, and YadA,
YadA, YadA. Well, researchers have come out with the worst and the
best times of day for our bodies. Okay. The best time of the
day, researchers say, is, oh, that's when our mood is most
elevated. That's when we're most energized because we're going home from work. We're
anticipating, you know, being home, being comfortable, blah blah blah,
seeing the sun set. The worst time of day which I had to endure
all last week and this morning four five am, because your first cognizant thought
is your alarm, and that like puts people in a bad mood immediately.
That's a researcher saying, Okay, so now I sent in this audition,
but I didn't play it for you because I didn't want to, you know,
torture you guys. But I really think I'm going to get this.
Okay. I'm playing a mom of a son who I think is mentally ill.
It's a scare it No, this is Charles, your Charles, you
think your son's mentally ill? Yes? Have at Are we talking like this
schizophrenic? Oh? Okay, okay, so you are you read Charles,
I'll do Mary, don't read this first part or I will. I'll be
the narrative. This is the second part. Here we go, we'll put
it together like this. Okay. Intro to Charles's apartment. Charles is in
the kitchen chopping a salad. Mary Sixties stands across the counter, seeming emotional.
You always do this. I don't understand, Charles. Why I'm fine
but you're not. You're not fine, Charles continues, chopping a salad.
Something always happens. I get a text, I get a call, or
you say things. I just don't even know what to do. You don't
need to do anything, Mom. You're doing an amazing job and I love
you. See why won't you listen to me? Why I am listening?
I listened to everything you say, Mom, and I appreciate it. You
just always try to help, and I don't need any help. Then why
won't you help me? I don't know how to And besides, you just
never know what they'll allow. See that right there? Why do you do
that? Why do you say that? Why are you doing that? How
don't you see this? I just I just don't know how to help you
anymore. I don't need help, mom. I'm taken her to see a
therapist. That was rough. That was rough. That was rough. Look,
I think Eric did a bad job. I too, thank you.
He wasn't schizophrenic at all. No, granted, yeah, I just threw
this at him. He read it cold. But you gotta be more like
and I should have like talked to the camera. But but I did this
like late last night after work in the studio, and I'm like, oh
my god, I did like two of them. So I have more of
these auditions coming up, and oh my god. Okay, so coming up
on Thursday. Well, they weren't They weren't arguing. So that's why I
was subdued. Yeah, I was trapping. It wasn't I don't think it
was a great script. Well, we don't know what happened before and after.
This is the only These are the only sides they gave me. So
I also, has anyone here met a schizophrenic person before? Yes, Oh
my, I have a I have somebody in my life whose brother is They
live on the streets, but they have a shelter. Very very kind of
savant in some areas, but definitely not well. Yeah so, and it's
a little bit of a trip un medicaid. It's very bad, very very
bad. Yeah so. Yeah. See, there's nothing that says if I
medicated or anything. So I think I didn't want you even medicated. You're
not like you know, and do we? Did we even explain the hat
that's part of the schizophrenia. Yeah, the jolly green giant. Maggie wanted
you to sell it. She loved Saint Patrick's Day, right, so,
I know it was yesterday, so happy Saint Patrick's Day. You're wearing a
green hat in celebration like Saint Patrick's Day. I'm a little bit irish,
but it doesn't really mean anything to me anymore because I even drink. I
don't drink. Disappointing. I do drink and I didn't do it. Maggie,
you can still pinch me even though I'm wearing green. You didn't go
to Shamrock in the gas laugh. No, I wanted to, but did
you, did you? Really? No? I wanted to, but I
couldn't because my girlfriend's studying for finals. This week, so I was all
on my own some and drinking by yourself is not fun. Also, no
deed, no designated driver. So right, that's I stayed home and good,
good, good good. No, it's terrible. All right. So
Thursday we're doing what's your price? I'll give you one before we go,
just one as a teased Okay. I give you a scenario and you have
to tell me what the lowest is. You'll do it for okay, And
I'm playing this tomorrow on Jesse and Tati on start before one Tuesday. Live
in a nudist colony for one week. Oh easy done? Ten grand?
Ten grand, says Brian. That's a week of my time. Ten Do
I get still? Do I still get paid from work? Sure? Why
not? No? You have to take ak No, you take a week
off. I take a week off. Yeah, and live in a nudist
colony. What would it take for you to do that for one week?
Ten grand? You'd do it for less than that? Probably I want ten
grand. I'm gonna do ten grand. You know what? I would do
it for two dollars and fifty cents. Hand job under the table. I
think I was a little finger bang. Don't say that during the live stuff,
any sexual attention to all. She's dying for it. Oh my god,
I do it for a thousand bucks, I think. Wow, No,
that's a week of my time. Just like you said, Brian,
So maybe your time normally, I know, right, I do. I
do a lot of this and a lot of that. Let me just put
it that way. Nudism already, I bet. No, I'm not like
a nude person. I never walk around naked. I'm not comfortable naked.
I'm just know it's weird how some people really just love like they'll do their
house chores naked, they'll sleep naked, they'll walk around it. Not me,
that's weird. I think it's weird. I just I'm cool with women
doing it because that's great. But no, not me. Why do you
like it so much? Because because why I explain, I don't like walk
around outside or laid by No, of course not, of course not.
But you're doing your dishes naked and you're naked. No, okay, wait
wait naked, let me you get Let's say you get home from work,
are you going to spend the evening in the new or like? No,
how often are you, like, what percent of your time are you just
doing things nude? I mean not all the time. Is it fifty to
fifty? I'd say fifty to fifty, and you're just like just you know,
reading, You're just lay on the couch, You're just you know.
Oh, that reminds me. On Thursday, something happened to Eric. Oh
my god, that has the light bulb has gone off over my head,
Jerome responded to him, and now he has to apologize. Oh, I
have an idea that could be that could take us into viral territory. I
am excited to share it with you on Thursday's episode of Laura Kane After Dark.
So okay, on that note, Love your podcast. Thank you for
watching on Instagram Live. We love you, guys, guys, thank you
so much for watching on YouTube. Thank you for listening to Laura Kane After
Dark podcast. Love your podcast. I love you so much. I still
love that gross stuff. And give me little kiss right here. No,
I'm not gonna. I don't want to. I don't want to. Why.
Oh my god, I love your pod. Oh my god, I
love you, my sweet sweet face