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It's kind of funny because sometimes we
get a bunch of Minnesota God Divide emails

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and then today we've got several,
but they're quite short and they don't require

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a whole lot of response. So
let's let's dig into this one. Okay,

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it's kind of funny. Hey,
Dart Liquors. God, I love

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the people that get our inside jokes. I mean, And the funny thing

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is inside jokes on the radio are
not good. It's kind of like walking

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into a circle of people that you're
talking about and they're all laughing about SpongeBob.

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He gave her a SpongeBob and you're
like, I don't get it.

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What's going on. Also, that
reference is now officially probably four years old.

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I would say it was before Steve, and Steve's been gone for almost

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three almost two years. November,
we'll be two years. But rip Steve.

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But that didn't happen like right before
he left necessarily. Yeah, I

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don't know what. Honestly, it's
at least nearly two to three years.

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I would say two to three years
old. Yeah, And Dart Lick,

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in case you don't know, is
we were talking about steal yourself for this

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one. If you're a new listener, because it's going to get a little

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bit dum oh x rated here.
It came up about eating ass, and

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Steve said, how do you eat
ass anyway? And I said, I

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don't know. You dart, then
you lick, then you dart, then

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you lick, dart lick, dart
lick, and we all were cackling with

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laughter, and then it kind of
card on caught on and I actually had

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shirts made up that said dart lick, but I'm not allowed to sell them

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anymore, so they may sell them
at the State Fair. So that's the

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plan, because I got a basement
full of these shirts that they're not for

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sale anywhere. They're just not but
but we're probably gonna sell them at the

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State Fair if everything goes well.
Mentioned my shirt that I'm wearing today.

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I'm pretty proud of the shirt.
He has a shot that says I'm calling

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hr, which is a classic bit
on The Dave Ryan Show. But you

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said you didn't make that shirt.
I didn't. I was going through Facebook

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and you get to either the targeted
ads, and I get a lot of

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magic tricks and I get a lot
of like ukulele stuff because I play ukulele.

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And there's a shirt that comes up
and it says it's just a plane

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shirt says I'm calling HR. And
I'm like, I've got to get one.

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I'm gonna wear it in Fallon and
Jenny and Drake will laugh. Yes,

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So I ordered it. It came
surprisingly quick, and it came yesterday.

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I'm like, though, just just
love that you're gonna wear. Now,

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let's let's act out in case you've
never heard the I'm calling HR bit,

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let's let's act it out. So
first part you're going to play is

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you Fallon. So go ahead and
give me anything today. You know that

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you stink? I stink? Did
you even shower? You smell terrible.

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You can't just call me out for
stinking on the radio. You can you

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can maybe call me aside, I
mean personally, and do it privately.

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Well, you aren't privately stinking,
You're publicly stinking. You stink. You

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know I'd hate to do this.
I'm gonna call HR. I gonna call

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HR because it is not fair that
you say I stink. I hate to

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do this. I'm gonna call HR
right now. Beat boo boo boopoo,

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Hello, no, Hello, HR. I think that's what you say.

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No, she answers the phone,
Hello, HR, Yeah, Hi,

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it's Dave. Yeah. Fallon just
said that I stink, well you do

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stink, and then we laugh and
tackle, like is the funniest goddamn thing

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ever and it never gets old to
us and people like it. So that

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is the HR bit. But there's
other ones we have, everything from Fallon

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called me a bitch, and she
says, Dave, you're oh, well

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you are a bitch. They all
said the same. Yeah. It's like

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Fallon said that I walk funny,
Well you do walk funny. Falon called

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me a fat old queen. Well
you are a fat old queen, and

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so that's funny. Is classic humor. So anyway, that's why I'm wearing

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the shirt that says I'm calling HR. Okay, here we go, let's

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get to the email. It says
when the person wrote in the other day

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asking how many people listen to the
show, I think Dave said one million

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in a week. I refuse to
believe I was the only person screaming nearly

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seven listeners at my car radio.
That's another kind of an inside joke,

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because I believe on the podcast it
did or maybe still does when you go

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to Dave Ryan Show live on Insta
Instagram, iHeartRadio, it says now with

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nearly seven listeners. Well, they
changed it to the dumbest thing ever,

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like a year or so ago,
and I was like, no, we're

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not having like music, energy and
fun or something stupid like that. And

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because that is what that is what
corporate safe people like to do. They

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like to say something it's like,
well they're doing it in Memphis, and

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they're doing it in Tampa, so
we should do it here in Denver.

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Because people are pussies and they don't
want to do something that takes little balls

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to do. So you're on one
today, you're fired up. I'm not

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fired up. I just I just
like I like to take chances. Yeah,

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And I don't like people when people
mute my career and my possibilities by

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not taking a chance. Because think
about this. Think about back in the

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moon landing days, if somebody said, oh my god, we better not

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go to the moon. It could
be awfully dangerous. We should probably just

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perfect the wheel. Let's work on
the wheel and make it rounder that's nice

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and safe. And the people who
are going the moon landing, they're like,

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no, I want to go to
the moon. We got to explore

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because we got to be you know, one day, we got to expand

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our you know, we can't live
on Earth forever, so we got to

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expand and you know whatever. So
you're one of those that believe we actually

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went to the shut up. That's
a topic for another day. I love

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conspiracy theories because they're so stupid.
Anyway, so I had an idea when

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we first went on the radio on
iHeartRadio, I said now with nearly seven

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listeners, and a lot of people
thought that was funny because your first impression

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as you scroll by stations from Phoenix, and scroll by stations from Sacramento,

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and you scroll by Minneapolis, and
it says now with nearly seven listeners,

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that shows that we're funny. And
so many people have told me that they've

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never been here, but they saw
that tagline and they thought, oh,

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this show. I'll bet they're funny. And so that's why they started listening.

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If it says music energy, fun, corporate people, that ain't gonna

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make anybody listen, because everybody from
Tampa to Boise to Sacramento says music,

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energy fun exactly. So anyway,
secondly, David you've been a real turred

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burglar about the laser show. I
have been negative lately, haven't I you've

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been a little extra it. I
don't know what's a fun negative. I'm

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not trying to be like, wow, life sucks and wow, we're all

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gonna die in a fire. It's
just like I'm trying to be funny negative,

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and I hope you know you'll appreciate
that. It's kind of like a

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stand up comic who comes out and
complains about things like Jerry Seinfeld. I'm

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better than Jerry Sea fire. So
fireworks are terrible for the environment and wildlife.

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And yes, lasers on a screen
pale in comparison to fireworks. We

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should support it regardless. It's like
the right thing to do or whatever.

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Any who, love y'all, thanks
for existing. That's from Krista. I

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don't know fireworks. Yes, fireworks
are terrible for the environment, They're terrible

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for the ozone layer. But nobody
has stopped doing them. Okay, we

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all should stop littering, using plastic
bottles and launching fireworks, but nobody has.

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You know what I mean. Everybody
loves fireworks, and everybody still launches

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fireworks, and they still sell fireworks. So when Minneapolis, and the reason

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they're doing it in Minneapolis a laser
show instead of fireworks is not for the

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environment. It is because they don't
have enough police because everybody quit, and

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they also they can't afford them.
They want to save the money. So

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thank you, Kris stop. We
appreciate that, fellow Dart Liquor. Okay,

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this one's fun from Marianna. She
says, to piggyback off your conversation

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if you think you could land an
airplane in an emergency, because we talked

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about this yesterday. Set that up. So basically, you text your partner

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it's supposed to be a man realistically
in the like bit on TikTok, and

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you say, do you think you
could land a plan a plane in an

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emergency situation? And every guy allegedly
says yes. We did test yesterday and

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every guy that we know did say
yes immediately. And it's funny because I

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can. I'm a pilot, so
I can kind of like be a little

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bit more like you know. It's
harder than you think, but I'd rather

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have you at least try than just
to give up and panic. So they

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said, here's another scenario if you
were on a commercial flight and a pilot

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couldn't fly the plane, would you
trust yourself more to land the plane or

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a stranger on your flight? The
stranger also doesn't have any flying experience,

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that's what about you. Would you
trust yourself more to land it or a

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stranger because maybe the stranger is like
more competent or less nervous. I don't

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know. I would check out their
demeanor first, and then I would immediately

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say what do you do? What
is your profession? And if they're like,

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I'm an astrophysicist and I'm like you, you're in yep, yep.

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Marianna says, I personally think I
could land a plane if I had to,

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but I think i'd opt for somebody
else on my flight to do it.

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Not sure why. I'm going to
guess there are at least forty percent

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of the people on any flight that
would be better at landing a plane than

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me, and probably a higher percentage
than that. But there are also a

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bunch of drunks in yahoo I wouldn't
trust so well. I think that,

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honestly, there would be a correlation. I think one of the reasons that

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I was kind of like flying came
easily because I played so many video games

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when I was growing up. I
played everything from Atari to Nintendo, and

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so there is something to that.
Next one, I am dying at the

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minute, Trash to mayor bit.
People in minards are looking at me like

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I'm crazy. He thanks for the
hilarious laughs from Haley. Thank you Haley.

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That all started because I drove by
the Miniatrista water tower last week and

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it was surprisingly rusty, and like
every other tower in town is pretty shiny

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and painted and new, and Minnetrista, for being a higher in neighborhood,

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has a crappy looking water tower.
So I took a picture of it.

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We were making fun of it,
and then the mayor called in and the

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mayor was what was his name,
Jethro Bond set something like that. Turns

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out he's related to you and cousin. Yeah, because all these trash people

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immigrate from Indiana. So all right, so and he may make a return

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appearance next one, Minnesota, Goodbye, don't say my name. I was

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listening to another radio station morning show
because I ran out of Dave Ryan Show

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to listen to. They do a
dating segment similar to what you guys do,

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and I'm sure many other shows where
they call somebody to find out why

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there wasn't another date or why somebody
was ghosted. We do it one in

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a while. We've kind of given
it a rest. We call it two

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sides to every Date. But a
lot of radio stations do it and they

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call it second date update. I
just have to say I was really annoyed

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to their listening to their witty,
silly banter when the person they surprised said,

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I'm at work, I don't have
a lot of time. Let's wrap

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this up. I understand there's a
certain time that they have to fill,

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and they said they wouldn't take up
this person's time, but they definitely could

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have streamlined the segment better so they
weren't wasting the person's time. I feel

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like you guys do a really good
job talking to people on the phone and

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keeping things moving, especially when they're
on a time crunch. I would never

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write into any particular radio station and
critique something like this because I don't know

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the details of how these things work
for you guys. So really, I

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just want to tell you, guys, I appreciate your respect for your listeners

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time. In no way do I
think this other radio station is being respect

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disrespectful. I think your job is
incredibly hard in doing on the spot conversations

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takes a lot of experience and talent. I love the other show and I

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think they are awesome people. Okay, yeah, I don't know if that

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was a station here in town.
I think I do know the station here

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in town that does that bit.
It's a very calm and radio bit called

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second Date Update, and we do
it once in a while, honestly because

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a lot of the time we called
the other person, they don't answer.

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They're not going to answer a strange
number, and if they do answer,

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a lot of the time they say, yeah, you know what. I

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really don't want to comment on that. So it's like if I went out

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with this woman and I didn't like
it because she vaped the entire time during

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the movie. I don't want to
go on the air and like bad mouth

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or just want to put it in
my past. So so thanks for bringing

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that up. And this one is
really interesting and I might save it for

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the radio because yeah, it's it's
about closure and basically, somebody broke up

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with him. They've been dating for
two years and she broke up with him

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via text and and and he's like, she blocked him on everything social media,

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breaks up with him and then blocks
him on everything. So correct,

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Yeah, she said, basically,
we had plans to see each other on

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Saturday, but Friday night I got
a text saying she felt we were grown

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apart it was best if we went
our own ways. I basically told her

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say it to my face, and
I picked a park near her house and

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said I'll be there at two o'clock
the next day. She never showed up,

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and she had already blocked me on
every form of social media. I've

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moved on to another girlfriend, but
I still struggle with my breakup because I

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was never able to get the closure
I would have liked. I can't really

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talk to anybody about it because I
don't want people to think I'm still stuck

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on my ex. And I have
seen her once in person, and her

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friend came up to me and yelled
at me for being in the same place

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that she was and said, you
need to leave. You can't be here

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in the parking lot. But she
also He also bumped into the ex's father

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and grandmother and they were like,
oh, hi, how are you,

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how's college? Etc. He says, I don't know what I did wrong.

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How could she just flip and turn
her emotions off for me via text

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after two years and I never got
any closure. I feel you I have

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been in a similar situation and you
sometimes you don't believe what they're telling you.

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I'm gonna go ahead and put this
out there, and I want to

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see what you think. Falon,
I think she found somebody else that she

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was smitten with and wanted to leave
you for them. I think that happened

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sometimes. Yeah, I would say
they're in my mind, there are only

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two options. Yes, she found
someone else, or you are in denial

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as to a role you played in
that relationship. And I'm not saying you

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are. I'm saying those are the
only two options I can see, because

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even if you're kind of like getting
over, like you realize, Let's say

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Dave and I are dating and I
realize this relationship probably isn't going anywhere unless

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I have something to move on to. I probably wouldn't just block him from

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everything. I would probably would have
a conversation because it would be hard to

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leave the comfort of the relationship even
though I know I want better. Whereas

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if I have something shiny and new, it's easy to leave, or if

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I am, I cannot do what
anymore because you are ish person who I

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think I have communicated I need more
from and you're not doing anything. So

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I'm like done, I have tried. I would don't want you in my

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life at all. So I thought
those are the only two options. I'm

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going to guess that because the father
and grandmother seemed to know him and like

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him and know he was in college, that he was probably I'm going to

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give him the benefit of the daughter. And I'm going to say because a

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lot of the time, if dad
and grandma don't like you, there's a

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reason they don't like you. You
give him a bad vibe, she talks

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crap about you. But sometimes people
find somebody and they just dumped the other

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person with no explanation because they don't
want to say, I've been cheating on

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you, I've been sleeping with this
other guy, and now I want to

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go have a life with him.
Her. Yeah, him, last one.

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David Carson just finished episode four A
Black Mirror. I'm sure you'll give

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it a review on the air.
What did you think? Carson best part

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from Okay, She's watched episode four, so I haven't watched that one yet,

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so I'm gonna skip that one.
But Fallon and I have been talking

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about how you started watching Black Mirror
when the new episodes came out two or

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three or four weeks ago, and
I've been holding off because Carson and I

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my son wanted to watch it when
he got home from California. So we've

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watched three episodes. We'll watch more
this weekend. Yeah, I did talk

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on the radio. Maybe you heard
it. Do not go see Asteroid City.

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It is the most bizarre, pointless
movie. We all left laughing about

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how it was the worst movie I've
ever seen. It was worse than Norm

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of the North. It was worse
than Norm of the North, but maybe

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not as bad as Tomorrowland, the
George Clooney kind of movie from different factor

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of the worst three movies ever created. And I would say, yeah,

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yeah, all right, and that
is it. Thank you for listening in

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Minnesota. Goodbye, have a great
fourth weekend. We will see you back

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00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:46.000
here. We'll not on Monday Tuesday, but we'll be back on Wednesday with

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the Minnesota Goodbye. We'd love to
hear anything you want to bring up,

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00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:52.440
so go ahead and Send those two
Ryan Show at KATWB dot com.

