It's kind of funny because sometimes we get a bunch of Minnesota God Divide emails
and then today we've got several, but they're quite short and they don't require
a whole lot of response. So let's let's dig into this one. Okay,
it's kind of funny. Hey, Dart Liquors. God, I love
the people that get our inside jokes. I mean, And the funny thing
is inside jokes on the radio are not good. It's kind of like walking
into a circle of people that you're talking about and they're all laughing about SpongeBob.
He gave her a SpongeBob and you're like, I don't get it.
What's going on. Also, that reference is now officially probably four years old.
I would say it was before Steve, and Steve's been gone for almost
three almost two years. November, we'll be two years. But rip Steve.
But that didn't happen like right before he left necessarily. Yeah, I
don't know what. Honestly, it's at least nearly two to three years.
I would say two to three years old. Yeah, And Dart Lick,
in case you don't know, is we were talking about steal yourself for this
one. If you're a new listener, because it's going to get a little
bit dum oh x rated here. It came up about eating ass, and
Steve said, how do you eat ass anyway? And I said, I
don't know. You dart, then you lick, then you dart, then
you lick, dart lick, dart lick, and we all were cackling with
laughter, and then it kind of card on caught on and I actually had
shirts made up that said dart lick, but I'm not allowed to sell them
anymore, so they may sell them at the State Fair. So that's the
plan, because I got a basement full of these shirts that they're not for
sale anywhere. They're just not but but we're probably gonna sell them at the
State Fair if everything goes well. Mentioned my shirt that I'm wearing today.
I'm pretty proud of the shirt. He has a shot that says I'm calling
hr, which is a classic bit on The Dave Ryan Show. But you
said you didn't make that shirt. I didn't. I was going through Facebook
and you get to either the targeted ads, and I get a lot of
magic tricks and I get a lot of like ukulele stuff because I play ukulele.
And there's a shirt that comes up and it says it's just a plane
shirt says I'm calling HR. And I'm like, I've got to get one.
I'm gonna wear it in Fallon and Jenny and Drake will laugh. Yes,
So I ordered it. It came surprisingly quick, and it came yesterday.
I'm like, though, just just love that you're gonna wear. Now,
let's let's act out in case you've never heard the I'm calling HR bit,
let's let's act it out. So first part you're going to play is
you Fallon. So go ahead and give me anything today. You know that
you stink? I stink? Did you even shower? You smell terrible.
You can't just call me out for stinking on the radio. You can you
can maybe call me aside, I mean personally, and do it privately.
Well, you aren't privately stinking, You're publicly stinking. You stink. You
know I'd hate to do this. I'm gonna call HR. I gonna call
HR because it is not fair that you say I stink. I hate to
do this. I'm gonna call HR right now. Beat boo boo boopoo,
Hello, no, Hello, HR. I think that's what you say.
No, she answers the phone, Hello, HR, Yeah, Hi,
it's Dave. Yeah. Fallon just said that I stink, well you do
stink, and then we laugh and tackle, like is the funniest goddamn thing
ever and it never gets old to us and people like it. So that
is the HR bit. But there's other ones we have, everything from Fallon
called me a bitch, and she says, Dave, you're oh, well
you are a bitch. They all said the same. Yeah. It's like
Fallon said that I walk funny, Well you do walk funny. Falon called
me a fat old queen. Well you are a fat old queen, and
so that's funny. Is classic humor. So anyway, that's why I'm wearing
the shirt that says I'm calling HR. Okay, here we go, let's
get to the email. It says when the person wrote in the other day
asking how many people listen to the show, I think Dave said one million
in a week. I refuse to believe I was the only person screaming nearly
seven listeners at my car radio. That's another kind of an inside joke,
because I believe on the podcast it did or maybe still does when you go
to Dave Ryan Show live on Insta Instagram, iHeartRadio, it says now with
nearly seven listeners. Well, they changed it to the dumbest thing ever,
like a year or so ago, and I was like, no, we're
not having like music, energy and fun or something stupid like that. And
because that is what that is what corporate safe people like to do. They
like to say something it's like, well they're doing it in Memphis, and
they're doing it in Tampa, so we should do it here in Denver.
Because people are pussies and they don't want to do something that takes little balls
to do. So you're on one today, you're fired up. I'm not
fired up. I just I just like I like to take chances. Yeah,
And I don't like people when people mute my career and my possibilities by
not taking a chance. Because think about this. Think about back in the
moon landing days, if somebody said, oh my god, we better not
go to the moon. It could be awfully dangerous. We should probably just
perfect the wheel. Let's work on the wheel and make it rounder that's nice
and safe. And the people who are going the moon landing, they're like,
no, I want to go to the moon. We got to explore
because we got to be you know, one day, we got to expand
our you know, we can't live on Earth forever, so we got to
expand and you know whatever. So you're one of those that believe we actually
went to the shut up. That's a topic for another day. I love
conspiracy theories because they're so stupid. Anyway, so I had an idea when
we first went on the radio on iHeartRadio, I said now with nearly seven
listeners, and a lot of people thought that was funny because your first impression
as you scroll by stations from Phoenix, and scroll by stations from Sacramento,
and you scroll by Minneapolis, and it says now with nearly seven listeners,
that shows that we're funny. And so many people have told me that they've
never been here, but they saw that tagline and they thought, oh,
this show. I'll bet they're funny. And so that's why they started listening.
If it says music energy, fun, corporate people, that ain't gonna
make anybody listen, because everybody from Tampa to Boise to Sacramento says music,
energy fun exactly. So anyway, secondly, David you've been a real turred
burglar about the laser show. I have been negative lately, haven't I you've
been a little extra it. I don't know what's a fun negative. I'm
not trying to be like, wow, life sucks and wow, we're all
gonna die in a fire. It's just like I'm trying to be funny negative,
and I hope you know you'll appreciate that. It's kind of like a
stand up comic who comes out and complains about things like Jerry Seinfeld. I'm
better than Jerry Sea fire. So fireworks are terrible for the environment and wildlife.
And yes, lasers on a screen pale in comparison to fireworks. We
should support it regardless. It's like the right thing to do or whatever.
Any who, love y'all, thanks for existing. That's from Krista. I
don't know fireworks. Yes, fireworks are terrible for the environment, They're terrible
for the ozone layer. But nobody has stopped doing them. Okay, we
all should stop littering, using plastic bottles and launching fireworks, but nobody has.
You know what I mean. Everybody loves fireworks, and everybody still launches
fireworks, and they still sell fireworks. So when Minneapolis, and the reason
they're doing it in Minneapolis a laser show instead of fireworks is not for the
environment. It is because they don't have enough police because everybody quit, and
they also they can't afford them. They want to save the money. So
thank you, Kris stop. We appreciate that, fellow Dart Liquor. Okay,
this one's fun from Marianna. She says, to piggyback off your conversation
if you think you could land an airplane in an emergency, because we talked
about this yesterday. Set that up. So basically, you text your partner
it's supposed to be a man realistically in the like bit on TikTok, and
you say, do you think you could land a plan a plane in an
emergency situation? And every guy allegedly says yes. We did test yesterday and
every guy that we know did say yes immediately. And it's funny because I
can. I'm a pilot, so I can kind of like be a little
bit more like you know. It's harder than you think, but I'd rather
have you at least try than just to give up and panic. So they
said, here's another scenario if you were on a commercial flight and a pilot
couldn't fly the plane, would you trust yourself more to land the plane or
a stranger on your flight? The stranger also doesn't have any flying experience,
that's what about you. Would you trust yourself more to land it or a
stranger because maybe the stranger is like more competent or less nervous. I don't
know. I would check out their demeanor first, and then I would immediately
say what do you do? What is your profession? And if they're like,
I'm an astrophysicist and I'm like you, you're in yep, yep.
Marianna says, I personally think I could land a plane if I had to,
but I think i'd opt for somebody else on my flight to do it.
Not sure why. I'm going to guess there are at least forty percent
of the people on any flight that would be better at landing a plane than
me, and probably a higher percentage than that. But there are also a
bunch of drunks in yahoo I wouldn't trust so well. I think that,
honestly, there would be a correlation. I think one of the reasons that
I was kind of like flying came easily because I played so many video games
when I was growing up. I played everything from Atari to Nintendo, and
so there is something to that. Next one, I am dying at the
minute, Trash to mayor bit. People in minards are looking at me like
I'm crazy. He thanks for the hilarious laughs from Haley. Thank you Haley.
That all started because I drove by the Miniatrista water tower last week and
it was surprisingly rusty, and like every other tower in town is pretty shiny
and painted and new, and Minnetrista, for being a higher in neighborhood,
has a crappy looking water tower. So I took a picture of it.
We were making fun of it, and then the mayor called in and the
mayor was what was his name, Jethro Bond set something like that. Turns
out he's related to you and cousin. Yeah, because all these trash people
immigrate from Indiana. So all right, so and he may make a return
appearance next one, Minnesota, Goodbye, don't say my name. I was
listening to another radio station morning show because I ran out of Dave Ryan Show
to listen to. They do a dating segment similar to what you guys do,
and I'm sure many other shows where they call somebody to find out why
there wasn't another date or why somebody was ghosted. We do it one in
a while. We've kind of given it a rest. We call it two
sides to every Date. But a lot of radio stations do it and they
call it second date update. I just have to say I was really annoyed
to their listening to their witty, silly banter when the person they surprised said,
I'm at work, I don't have a lot of time. Let's wrap
this up. I understand there's a certain time that they have to fill,
and they said they wouldn't take up this person's time, but they definitely could
have streamlined the segment better so they weren't wasting the person's time. I feel
like you guys do a really good job talking to people on the phone and
keeping things moving, especially when they're on a time crunch. I would never
write into any particular radio station and critique something like this because I don't know
the details of how these things work for you guys. So really, I
just want to tell you, guys, I appreciate your respect for your listeners
time. In no way do I think this other radio station is being respect
disrespectful. I think your job is incredibly hard in doing on the spot conversations
takes a lot of experience and talent. I love the other show and I
think they are awesome people. Okay, yeah, I don't know if that
was a station here in town. I think I do know the station here
in town that does that bit. It's a very calm and radio bit called
second Date Update, and we do it once in a while, honestly because
a lot of the time we called the other person, they don't answer.
They're not going to answer a strange number, and if they do answer,
a lot of the time they say, yeah, you know what. I
really don't want to comment on that. So it's like if I went out
with this woman and I didn't like it because she vaped the entire time during
the movie. I don't want to go on the air and like bad mouth
or just want to put it in my past. So so thanks for bringing
that up. And this one is really interesting and I might save it for
the radio because yeah, it's it's about closure and basically, somebody broke up
with him. They've been dating for two years and she broke up with him
via text and and and he's like, she blocked him on everything social media,
breaks up with him and then blocks him on everything. So correct,
Yeah, she said, basically, we had plans to see each other on
Saturday, but Friday night I got a text saying she felt we were grown
apart it was best if we went our own ways. I basically told her
say it to my face, and I picked a park near her house and
said I'll be there at two o'clock the next day. She never showed up,
and she had already blocked me on every form of social media. I've
moved on to another girlfriend, but I still struggle with my breakup because I
was never able to get the closure I would have liked. I can't really
talk to anybody about it because I don't want people to think I'm still stuck
on my ex. And I have seen her once in person, and her
friend came up to me and yelled at me for being in the same place
that she was and said, you need to leave. You can't be here
in the parking lot. But she also He also bumped into the ex's father
and grandmother and they were like, oh, hi, how are you,
how's college? Etc. He says, I don't know what I did wrong.
How could she just flip and turn her emotions off for me via text
after two years and I never got any closure. I feel you I have
been in a similar situation and you sometimes you don't believe what they're telling you.
I'm gonna go ahead and put this out there, and I want to
see what you think. Falon, I think she found somebody else that she
was smitten with and wanted to leave you for them. I think that happened
sometimes. Yeah, I would say they're in my mind, there are only
two options. Yes, she found someone else, or you are in denial
as to a role you played in that relationship. And I'm not saying you
are. I'm saying those are the only two options I can see, because
even if you're kind of like getting over, like you realize, Let's say
Dave and I are dating and I realize this relationship probably isn't going anywhere unless
I have something to move on to. I probably wouldn't just block him from
everything. I would probably would have a conversation because it would be hard to
leave the comfort of the relationship even though I know I want better. Whereas
if I have something shiny and new, it's easy to leave, or if
I am, I cannot do what anymore because you are ish person who I
think I have communicated I need more from and you're not doing anything. So
I'm like done, I have tried. I would don't want you in my
life at all. So I thought those are the only two options. I'm
going to guess that because the father and grandmother seemed to know him and like
him and know he was in college, that he was probably I'm going to
give him the benefit of the daughter. And I'm going to say because a
lot of the time, if dad and grandma don't like you, there's a
reason they don't like you. You give him a bad vibe, she talks
crap about you. But sometimes people find somebody and they just dumped the other
person with no explanation because they don't want to say, I've been cheating on
you, I've been sleeping with this other guy, and now I want to
go have a life with him. Her. Yeah, him, last one.
David Carson just finished episode four A Black Mirror. I'm sure you'll give
it a review on the air. What did you think? Carson best part
from Okay, She's watched episode four, so I haven't watched that one yet,
so I'm gonna skip that one. But Fallon and I have been talking
about how you started watching Black Mirror when the new episodes came out two or
three or four weeks ago, and I've been holding off because Carson and I
my son wanted to watch it when he got home from California. So we've
watched three episodes. We'll watch more this weekend. Yeah, I did talk
on the radio. Maybe you heard it. Do not go see Asteroid City.
It is the most bizarre, pointless movie. We all left laughing about
how it was the worst movie I've ever seen. It was worse than Norm
of the North. It was worse than Norm of the North, but maybe
not as bad as Tomorrowland, the George Clooney kind of movie from different factor
of the worst three movies ever created. And I would say, yeah,
yeah, all right, and that is it. Thank you for listening in
Minnesota. Goodbye, have a great fourth weekend. We will see you back
here. We'll not on Monday Tuesday, but we'll be back on Wednesday with
the Minnesota Goodbye. We'd love to hear anything you want to bring up,
so go ahead and Send those two Ryan Show at KATWB dot com.