Alright, alright, alright, here we go number two, back at it
again with this side quest. So while you all listen, I'm gonna go
make myself a sandwich. So while I do that, why don't you all
sit down and shut up and welcome from a Far Podcast. Previously, I'm
from a far Podcast. I'm playing LT But by the way, my name
is Bruce Springsteen. I am playing Reagan Bergerben. I love that name.
I've named myself of vex v e x x Hexington. I mean the Butcher's
will be a tight football team name. Come on now, I mean,
come on, nows, the Butchers. Come on. The bell is ringing,
and you know that this bellt only means one thing that the ghost ship
has been seen again. Make your way back to Mayor um dmitri Anville's office.
It's the I need you all to go and stop this threat once and
for all. He has this thought of like, yeah, never never used
to be this way, and then like kind of shakes his head like wait,
no, it's always been this way. What where did that come from?
He was a big fan of Licky tongue. Oh yeah, look at
tongue face. Whoever was in the in the in the writer's room for that
one again an idea. Man, He's like licks, people like, is
it big tongue? So it's a rat but it's electric, okay, So
now stay with me, guys. Is just a man with another extra arm
or two extra ye wrestler. This is gonna sound really weird when I say
it, but I have a varied past with liquid tongue um And then the
story gets even worse. So I was dming a podcast while it's not happening
anymore. But I was doing a campaign called Poka World where the players played
the Pokemon in this like alternative world where like humans didn't exist. It was
like Medievals kind of thing. It was really neat, except when I asked
them, so you're in the city, what do you do? It's open,
like, tell me where you go, and they said, well,
the first place we go is the liquid tongue massage parlor. You did this,
not me. You did this. We're playing the whole thing and it's
your fault and we did this is your fault, not like what. Who's
like, oh man, look at like what? They thought it was funny
and then we did it, and I'm like, I played a liquor tongue
like crab my tongue as I'm trying to talk. You know, that is
the first one that is hilarious. Props to your players. That's fucking phenomenal.
So I also just feel like there's a lot of other Pokemon that would
be better masseuses. Like yeah, like mister Mime, mister mister again,
mister Mime is just another person, just another human exactly. I wanted to
be a Pokemon. It was just like like like a like a person hanging
out in the woods and ash, She's like someone's coming high as there's a
Pokemon bringing mister Mime home to his mother and now like that's where he lived,
to my little mommm. Here's your dad, y'all plot to his ashes
dad as mister why don't you call me mister dads sport? Oh my god
up. If if none of the these bangers don't show up in your show,
I will, I'd be proud of you because he's are horrific. And
yeah, So with that, are you already to part the We're just we're
just gonna keep it simple. We're ready to part the veils of reality and
dive into this story with there we go. Let's go, there we go.
Also, I wrote something on the plane last night intro, and this
will be the second time I'm reading it. So let's see how Let's see
those are always gold uh well spelled the first word, not two ages and
the But here we go. The ice Treader has set sail well, not
as grand as the ships in the Silver fleet. The ice Trudder has has
a sleek but deadly moaning about it. The smallest ship. That's a sentence.
The smallest ship that's not it's the ship. Yeah sorry, it only
has room for the four five of us. The smallest rowboat, the smash.
The ice strutter, painted with blues and whites, cuts through the icy
jet black water, almost invisible. The ship is alive with activity. Sailors
from both the Silver fleets and the nets and work together to ensure the ship
stays on. You stand an o as the sailors sailed the ship. And
it runs like a well oiled machine. It runs like a well oiled ship.
Well ship. The ship is very oily. Oh no, somebody better
clean that up. Slides of the water. That is where we start,
you all. It is the morning. The ship is gliding through the water.
You are all there. You see these two crews kind of working in.
You just send it's not there's probably about like forty of us, forty
of people all together, including yourselves. You see both the commanders, you
see like I said, you see Neptune and you see all in as well
as Bruce. You see your two children, Avril Levine and Tom Morrell.
Um they're they're yeah, they're they're great. So I think I think with
that, then I think Neptune kind of comes to you you four and says,
okay, um, Bruce, welcome aboard. I don't want to sound
rude about this, but I think you three are going to be more helpful
later on, not necessarily with the sailing. Um. So, if you
want to take the these uh fine folks downstairs and sort of show them where
the cabins are, and Bruce, you've been on the ship a few times
before. This is sort of Neptune's man ship. If and this there's anything
else you want to do, we'll head downstairs. Yeah. Hey, the
kitchen here is great. Listen. I'll get you well, whip up something
good for breakfast, kind of my specialty. Get some eggs, some potatoes,
roasted season mashed if you want them mashed potatoes for breakfast. It's a
wild but if you want what a wonderful exciting invention one will you go from
the field of butcher ball to to the great expenses of the cold northern o
shoes. I'm excited to be him. It's good, it's great. I
means water. It's not that great. What is the greatest thing? Dash
lt gets it? Look at all this water, there's too much. He's
gonna jump in real quick. There's a ghost ship on the water. You're
gonna jump into the water and quick. I hope there's a ladder. Can
be an athletics track. See how well you do with this? Can you
bonk your head on the way down? That's a seventeen? Oh yeah,
no, you're you're You're totally find you But jestic, it's it's majestic as
shit. Everyone's like, wow, is l too? Like real hot um?
Like slow motion baywatched. I'll dive like you know somehow time just stops
when jumping in. You see, like my blacks can kind of glisten in
like you know, the light that's like gonna hit the water slowly. Yeah,
it's epic. It's delightfull the epic. You actually hear a couple like
claps from people up top. Uh, and yeah, you're downe in the
water and you you see an easy enough way back up. There's their crews
there to help you, or there's a rope ladder and can you roll me
a perception check? That's only a fifteen You see the like first of all,
you feel like the refreshing cold water of the frozen sea, the close
to the spine of the world. But you see underneath the ship, you
see um kind of way off in the distance, a couple like murky looks
like silhouettes, and like there's some big preachers that are in the water.
Um. And the reason that stands out, the reason I pointed that out
too, is um, Butcher's Bay isn't normally at threat from like big underwater
sea monsters, because then i'd send Usually it does a pretty good job of
keeping them at bay, so they're not doesn't look at there's like a whole
bunch of them like coming in right now. But that sort of raises like,
oh, interesting, I see just a couple of them. Yeah,
you can't really tell how many of they are. They're off it's just like
you see like like these big silhouettes of big finned and spined creatures sort of
just moving sire murky water. Oh, it's awful. This is horrific.
I hate this. Well, see he's gonna climb up, definitely gonna be
um. There's um quite a few big creatures out there, yes, like
dolphins, whales, perhaps maybe like arc as, more like a levite and
like some big kind of who the ocean crazy well, Elsie describes it.
Can you all make me wisdom? Saving those me too? While I'm describing
or my immune because my describing you're you're, you're, you're, you'd be
more immune to it. Seventeen for Craigan, Okay, you're fine. Sixteen
on bucks nineteen guys are all fine. Okay. And with that, you
hear the sounds of a boot's approaching um and you look up and you see
a very tall, very it looks very much like Bruce, but uh more
Goliath. You see a very tall female looking creature. And she comes and
stands wearing leathers, she has daggers. It's very rogueish, very intense.
Uh. And she says, Dad, I really think you need to get
down below deck before things get I mean you already have someone jump off the
side of the boat. Um, yeah, it's yeah, have you met
LT. Is my daughter, Avril, Avril Levine, This is your daughter.
This is my daughter gem on my eye, just just for like the
fun of it. She's like good, like several feet taller than Bruce.
Oh yeah absolutely, yeah, yeah, massive, Like she doesn't look as
like as like as stocky, as like most glass like you used to like
much more like slender, but like like like a coiled spring. Yeah,
she says, No, I don't. I don't think i've met LT.
Hello. My name is Avral And Craigan. Hello Crag Oh yeah, sorry
Craig. Sorry backs. It's my butcher ball team. Remember dad's got that
hobby. Yeah, a great dad. That's that's wonderful. Honestly, it's
good to see you. Why I used to come watch y'all when I was
a kid. Uh, you missed this? When you missed this? When
the last game yesterday? Yes? Whose regional? Whose regional? Was not
a big day? I checked out m Greig's list. He keeps every everyone
up to date on all the butcher ball media and it's a list in the
middle of town. I saw that. You guys one, don't worry about
it. I'm sure you're off on a big, big old mission taking out
some high ranking official or something. He's one of the best assassins in Butcher's
Bay. Right here, it's my daughter. What's the kill count? Now?
What are you up to? Oh? And check leans in you she's
serious. Hey, I'm serious. But here, I'll show you all down
to your room because we're about to you going here. You might want to
get comfortable before we get heading out. Oh, I do you know?
I don't want to embarrass you know. We'll get down there, kiddo.
I don't want to get in your way anyways. Yeah, I'm gonna make
some breakfast anyways or lunch, doesn't matter, mashed potato. How am I
doing? Bruce? Would you ever guess? This is my first time on
a boat? It's your first time? Never would a guess? Can I
tell you something? It's only my six I'm not much for the boat,
you know, I don't quite have my ceilings yet. Yeah. Yeah,
for some reason, the kids and the wife, they just don't want me
on the boat. Say I get in the way, just trying to help
tie the knots. You know, for sure a lot of people got hurt
last time. But hey, you know not to knock. That's what I
said. Yeah, really it's important when you got to pull it, to
try to let it loose ash. People can die. Yeah, people can't
and have died. Oh well they were close. I healed them up.
You know, you redeemed yourself. So thanks Dad, We appreciate. But
yeah, if you want to take them all downstairs, yes, that's why
I go to the kitchens. Um, just like I don't want to say
stay out of the way because we're actually we're glad you're here. It's gonna
be really fun with your healing abilities and all your three other men are gonna
come in super useful. I can swim see. Oh you were right,
Bruce. If you just pull it like this, it does come undone.
Yeah, a lot of hand check check please nineteen. Yeah. You all
of a sudden, you just see this like this, like this lead starts
to just like fly up, and you see pulleys flying off, and you
see somebody like coming down like you kind of stuck in half there her who
let these these jerks on the boat right here? Oh gosh, everyone's like,
oh, okay, yes, seriously, Uh, let's get get you
down stairs. Please don't touch anything. I will fix that and if if
I have to touch anything else, I might have to kill you. But
then you can tell us the number we are. That's true. Well that's
my calling card. Right before I kill everyone. I lean and I say,
oh, will that was very tricky, but yeah, she is very
serious. We should probably get out of here. She will kill We should
we should, um and uh, if you all start heading downstairs, the
last thing you see, um, the boat is is heading out, sailing
out, and the butcher's bay is fading off into the distance series heading into
this more denser fog. The crew is fixing up the awesome thing that Craigan
just did, but they're also just kind of working and doing their thing.
H So you all head them to the kitchen. Go down a couple of
decks. You see a couple more people. There's a few more because I'm
here swabbing the ducks. You see someone nailing a hole in the side of
the boat, nailing that up. Yeah, he's making a hole, literally
making a hole in the side of the boat. Don't tell anyone and I
After you see that thing that totally happens you make your way to the kitchens
and Craigan just side note, is dressed as like close as he can to
look like a sailor with some of the most expensive looking clothes, clear clear
not anything sailors would ever wear. But he's got the beanie, the corded
like sweater. I guess I don't know you're clothing. Um, are you
scoops ahoy? Or the Life Aquatic with doctor Steve Zazu? What type of
sailor are we looking at here? Umo, scoops Ahoy? Probably all right,
so cool, Well that's what we all see as as you guys into
the kitchen and surprisingly it's actually empty right now. So you you you look
in and it's just like kind of more utilitarian. But there's like a bit
of like a stove which probably wouldn't in real world, probably wouldn't do great
on a ship of wooden ship. Um, but the magic stove, Yeah,
we can go wrong. Um there's a stove. There's like several barrels
of potatoes and other things. It's just well stocked. Lots of rub rudebeggar
forget, lots of salted meats, lots of salted parks. Um, and
yeah, so pretty much everything you need, um if you want to You're
sorry. I was that's a good that's a good picture. She's so christ
Thank god salted porks. Okay. Yeah, well, I think as as
we get down to the kitchen, I think Bruce like activates just like Dad
on a Sunday morning host, more like, all right, gang, yeah,
grab a seat, all good stuff going. What do you want over
easy eggs? You want a dozen scrambled let's go, rubar pancakes. We
got them coming, and just starts like cooking. So Bruce, if you
don't mind me asking, what what do they do up there that we can't
be around for It's just we're just floating, right, Yeah, well,
you know, and he's like cooking while he's talking and stuff. Yeah,
you know, there's a lot of people who's kind of running around up there,
and they're keeping us down here because you're all a danger, a physical
danger to the survival of the ship around the here for one mission, your
sense of human x is that's why I love you. Sorry laugh. Then
I think they're they're telling the truth. They're just honest. Yeah, you
know, if you get in the way they get a little grumpy up.
They're all good people, you know, they just you know, they got
a certain way of doing stuff. And when you when you go up and
you start mopping the middle of a battle, you're not trying to clean up
keep the floor cleane. Uh, you know, they get mad at you
saying it's rough terrain now, you know, and it's like, fuck,
just trying to help anyways. What are y'all's passive perceptions? Very very fifteen,
fourteen, nineteen and nineteen. Okay ten so Bruce Brucie boy as y'all
are talking and sort of being like why are we here, which is honestly
a valid question. You hear something behind you. You hear like something get
like knocked off a chef, and there's a kind of a rattle behind you.
I jump in turn and go right into a karate stance. Yeah,
okay, who's over there? What's going on? You don't see anybody,
but you do see what looks like sort of in the in like the pantry
area. I imagine there's some like shelves and they said barrels of things.
It looks like there has been some of the like utensils that have been disrupted
it and they're on the floor like like a ladle, like like rocks back
and forth on the floor. Slowly walk over and pick up you all see
like Bruce like mid sentence just yeah, jumps and turned around and like walked
over to to this ladle. And as you pick up this little Bruce,
you see with your passive perception of nineteen, that's that's very good. Like
a little deeper into the sort of pantry area, there's like an alcove where
there's just all the all the dried foods that are being being stored for this
voyage. Uh you see look what looks like kind of like a slightly shifting
like dark form moving not not like the ones lt was just describing, but
a but a new one maybe boy shaped and boy sized. I think Bruce
is gonna back up a little bits got the ladle out like a gang kind
of a I think, what have a little something in this pantry here?
I'm more of a back row party member. I don't know, did you
find soup? Yes? Is there soup in the pantry? Eltie's gonna walked
up to the pantry, open the pantry and you definitely see like as as
Eltie opens up the pantry like looks deeper into it. Now this orcha creature
and like armored Bruce are standing in the stoorway. You see kind of sheepishly
and slowly a little boy come out from like sort of behind like a pile
of potato, just just a raw pile of potatoes. Um. And for
those of for those dear listeners at home, and I guess also the dear
listeners here in this call, Uh, you see very young, probably like
eleven, a little boy, longish, kind of shaggy brown hair, belts
criss crossing the chest with chest knives, just so many knives. Will William
is here. Uh this one too, Bruce. Whoa, whoa, you
can't know you can't cook? Wait, hold on, hold on, hold
on wait okay, okay, gave me a heart attack? Another one,
brisk? Can you row me a history check? Oh sure that's a four.
Yeah, you don't recognize this person? Okay, okay, okay,
okay, Um, please don't eat me. No, no, just the
potatoes. I'm not gonna eat you shouldn't. Shouldn't you be up on the
deck the cruise all? Oh yeah, totally. I was just down here,
um getting food for the crew totally. Yeah, Like Benzon picks up
a potato and I was like, okay, oh acquired, acquired, I
did it? Um, excuse you? Go away? Yes, you absolutely
inside check but b has corrected the puzzle. Go for that. Go for
the inside check right there. Oh yeah, no this he's totally lying,
like yeah, it's like picking a potato. It's like, all right here,
I go back to the crew. He um, make make it just
an attack role, please, I can do that. You totally at twelve.
I mean no, that's that's more than I can't. Still eleven year
old child, like I think it's fine. He's eleven, so so a
twelve does win. Yeah, that's how you see works, right, You
guys are all your age your age class, that's what that's what it is.
Right. No, you you throw this net and is there any special
when you throw it or as you just like this is really quick, like
you know it is almost like, um, I think it's from Butcher's ball,
just like that's some kind of motion that Okay, good call back.
Bruce has been teaching me. So my form is really good. Now really
quick, it's really good. There it is. Yeah, I'm trying to
think of a metaphor, but like a net catching a child. That's literally
what it is. It's like, how it is like a net catching very
quick? Screw screw, we'll scrap that part. You catch, you catch
William easily? Uh? The net goes around him and he falls down.
He's like, hey, hey, what the what the heck? No?
No, no, okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm Sorry'm sorry,
I'm I'm not supposed to be. I'm not supposed to be. You caught
me? Can you like? He's like trying to like get out of the
net. Can you let me go? Like? What is it with nets?
How? Why are they so catching? I'm draped? Why are they
so catching? As? Uh, yeah, as you've you've caught him,
I'm not gonna have him? Wow? Why are nets so catching? Siri
is answering that question. What's the answer. Well, for the first the
first response was what shake it off? So catchy? And then the next
one was the history of nets? Okay, cool. Craigan turns to the
to the gang. He's like, are you kidding me? My first time
on a boat and there is a stow way I'm getting the full experience.
Oh my goodness, it's a true adventure and I'm really happy to help,
But like, what what are you? What are you gonna do with me?
What I might handle this? The amount of stolways defined when you're turning
water? Is this a plank situation? Is he going to be walking a
plank? Oh? No, no, no, no, okay, no,
kid? Who are you? Name is William? Is your last name?
Scream? Well, scream no, it's it's m Willem. I didn't
even think about that. Okay, I'm not supposed to be here. You
caught me. Yeah, I don't know if y'all were here with this came
around last time, but after the ghost ship showed up, his crew went
out to go find it. Some of them came back, but my brother
didn't. And I not old enough to join Night's End yet, so stowing
away And I mean, I've tried the commander, that big lady. She's
really scary. She She's thrown me off like a bunch of times. I'm
just trying to find my brother and I would super appreciate it if I could
just go live in these potatoes and you guys didn't turn me in. Did
you tell someone your brother was missing? Did you yeah, like a bunch
and like the commander what's her name, Naptune? Uh? She said,
Like, I mean she was kind about it, but like she said,
he was dead. Oh well, I don't want to I don't want to
believe that. But like, do you have any reason to leave Commandati too?
You're smart? No, you're right. I mean maybe I just want
to see it with my own eyes. Maybe I just want to maybe I
want vengeance. Oh god, no, do you do? You want to
see the body? Or what if it was in water for like a year
now, I'm hoping it's not a body, hoping there's like a soul and
like a living person inside the body. But like, I just need I
need answers because brothers all I had we got we got left here a couple
of years ago, and then we survived on the streets, did our best,
like we were always there for each other. And then there was an
opportunity after the ghost Chip arrived that he was able to join up with the
Night's End and hopefully because I mean, they be like a paid soldier at
that point, you make a better life for us. But yeah, he's
been gone for a couple of years now and I've been trying to get out
there, and he kind of like adjust the knives on the bandoliers around his
chest. There's a lot, there's like eight and don't cut the net.
That's like that net, so please don't go. That's right. He's like
still, yeah, nobody's still in the He's just like this whole corms that
happened through. He's a field position on the floor like hey, hey,
um no, yeah, he says. I. So I'm not like totally
helpless, but my brother disappeared, sort of fell in with some of the
like the thief thieving guilds, and I used those sneaky rogue powers of mine
to get on this ship. And I thought everyone was up on the main
deck and then you four came in here, and yeah, if you could
not tell that I'm down here, honestly, if you could just forget about
me for the rest of this story, that would be great. Yeah.
Tell you what, Hey, you you hang out in that net. Good
looking up? Uh hey Todd, team huddle real quick. I all got
close to y'all and the shot. The shot goes back to the very first
Yeah, urheads coming all right, gank listen, Uh you know we've been
talking a bit here about finding our purpose on this ship. Right, what
are we doing here? I can't help us see a person in need,
a little one right over there, looking for looking for the lost brother's brother.
Yeah, how do you feel about, you know, lying to your
wife? You know, yeah, she doesn't ask, uh, you know,
we don't have to tell um. But also you know, hey,
listen, I'm out there on the streets of Butcher Bay trying to help the
youths getting him into butcher ball. It's not wouldn't be the first time I
brought home a little ragamuffin to just make sure that a good warm meal and
whatnot. So you know, it's not such a big deal. But this,
this little young one thinks, is his brother's still out there? You
know, at the very least, give us something to do a bit of
a goal if we're into it. You know, we're the best butcher ball
team in the in the bay. Do we bring a spared jersey? Maybe
we could disguise him as being one of our fifth back right, Yes,
exactly. We've been woking for us. We have been one member short this
whole time, and it's fun. We've been going forward, bridging fun we're
just so damp good. We're just so good. I mean to talk.
I just went on to Testia umber. Yeah, I know. I think
I have an extra shirt. Um, I was planning on finding a dolphin
to put it on, but I could go to the cat understandable majestic animals.
They helped me to turn water frequently. Does does VEX have like this
awesome relationship with the sea creatures, just like like in your little ice hole
you're just like, oh hello, Toby princess scene, Yeah, a little
bigger jan like, dang it, Tony, why are you back here eating
my seaweed? Until it's just like a dolphin like on their way to work.
Why do you hate me? So? Yeah, yeah, we can
communicate with the secret thinks they have like a Disney princess communicating animals, but
it's just random animals that she cheeps calling the same name. I'm a different
I'm a different dolphin. You know, I'm a different dolphin. And that
is really racist. I think that's still Tommy. I am intelligent. Sorry,
I love I love. This is why I love DND. Those little
moments right there. At some point you're gonna see Toby. Sorry, you
were saying, oh t shirt William William stuck in the net. Yes,
yes, will on the net. Welcome to the team. Yeah, we
all turned, we all turned menacingly and then get really close. It's like
knives out and then just like today, here's a jersey Welcome to the team.
There's something happens to him. I mean, at least, you know,
I guess you won't really get in trouble since he's not supposed to be
anyway, so no harm. Yeah, yeah, all right, yes,
old blooded yeah, yeah, thats like that's a that's a thing, good
way to shut the plays a point. You know, that's a point.
Absolutely, Willem, welcome to the team. You. I mean, we
all play a lot of roles here, but we have been looking for a
quarterback. I mean yeah, I mean I've I've noticed on the on Craigslist
that you guys have somehow managed to beat every other team with only four players.
I mean, it's an honor. Also, can and someone help me
out of this net that's impossible to get out of from the inside. I
guess you didn't ruin it. That's fine. It's a really nice net.
It is, I know, has has jewels on it. Really really has
a good touch to it. Yeah, like person who gave that team must
be really cool. I mean, no schools a net. But he's quickly,
smoothly tick the net off just once with motion. Well, h'm the
kind of stands up his falling look. He looks at the jersey and you
actually you don't roll me insight checks. Let's just let's let's let's roll some
dice. We're playing d seventeen oh natural one, natural one? Wow,
has of insights nineteen. I don't know if that matters. Well, not
not on a natural one. That's yeah, that's yeah. I get back
to cooking. Yeah, you're just immediately like whoa, Now we have another
person cracked, a couple more eggs. Get some of that salted potatoes,
some mash don't mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes facts? What did you get on
that? Thirteen? Okay, so then is it is just um? It
is just lt You actually noticed um William smarts a little bit, uh,
and you get the sense that like he's never really been a part of something.
You get that sense that like that actually this gesture means more to him
than you realized, and he like puts it on over his bandaliers and there's
just like super lumpy. Sure it's like way too big, and it says
number ninety nine Cranberry, who was a player you guys used to play with
rest Peace but he died scoring though, so you know it would not be
where we are. And then before we get too far as well, I
think we're all in agreement that you know, if you do survive past this,
you are going to have to help us finish out the season. Honestly,
that would be awesome. Thank thank you all for like letting me stay
and including me. That's that's really cool. Thank thank you. You did
say though that Neptune h knows who you are. She does, so I
was thinking, maybe Vex, you brought your kids right, maybe we could
give him a nice mustachio. Okay, but what is the best disguise mustache?
Is that twirl? Is that a geometrical shape? TWI? I like
twirlie Okay, it really seems pretty cool. Maybe a gotee. Maybe we
just go the whole way with it. What is it? Twirl and two
a gotee. After a couple of twirls, it kind of goes down and
then very low key. I love it. I want to. I want
to lean over to Bruce and be like, you didn't clean the blood at
the jersey. By the way they gave leg that's you can still see it
on the jersey, just gaping hole in the middle of it. You know.
I was going, but we all, we all got a little bloody,
and I thought it was kind of like a tide eye thing, you
know, kind of like a Colors you know, bloody. I mean,
if it's too many of the Cranberry kind of goes with the name. So
yeah, it's Cranberry will be with us. So at least a part of
him, at least part of his blood. You know, you don't want
to lose that legacy, you know. Yes, sorry, I liked I
liked the end of that bit. I was just reading some notes. I
just wanted you all to know, good job on the bit. Well it
wasn't attention, but uh yeah, as as as we're putting mustaches on Willam
and cooking, he relaxes and he kind of starts, uh starts talking a
little bit to you all, and he says, um, I know it's
it's probably a long shot. He probably is not alive anymore. But if
if Marcus is out there and I didn't try it. It wouldn't feel right.
Is you can't make a long shot unless you take it so fat and
it is now cannon. In the rest of the story, Willam who is
a who he is? He's almost eighteen. In the main story, he
has a tattoo that says you can't make a long shots you don't take it
on his h on his chest. Yeah, it's bam, just literally just
like yeah. And then and then the camera pans back from our faces as
he's delivering the speech to him, and he has the Groucho Marx nose.
It's really gonna make this next part, which is actual story, hilarious.
Uh, William just says, how long have you all in here in Butcher's
Bay? You can say whatever you want. Yeah, they're just gonna answer
you. Oh so that was that was David speaking. I know William's voice.
Okay, his voice is very low right now because I am very sick.
Right, how long you've been I'm an eleven year old boy looking for
my brother. He's been a ruff eleven years. But you Yeah, so
he asked, how long have you all been? How long have you all
been in a Butcher's Bay. For that's a disguise. Yeah, good an
accent too. Yeah, my name is well, I can't say my name
though, damn it. My name is the phone. Well, now you're
a friend, buddy. Yeah, I've been here my whole life. Yeah,
I'm most of my life. I assume I kind of lost some of
my memory. I want an ice chunk hit my head, and then ever
since then, I've just been living in a nice house churning water. Well,
honestly, that kind of is what I wanted to bring up ice.
No, your memory, oh not not your memory specifically, I've been here
for William says, I've been here my whole life. But I've been here
most of my life. And my brother we got we got abandoned here right
right, lived on the streets about seven years ago. And I don't know
why this is, but I have a lot of a lot of bad memories
about this place that no one else seems to really remember. Butcher Bay.
Bad memories at Butcher Bay. Butcher Bay is brilliantly delightful. I don't know
what you're talking about. My whole family here, well, lovely, it's
it's I know, we're just meeting William, But are you smoking crack?
I might maybe, because honestly, it kind of feels like it because what
other cities are there that like everyone just unashamedly loves and there's only like good
memories here it. I don't know, it's maybe I'm maybe I'm going a
little bit Kuca bananas over here. But it just seems weird to me.
Well, I mean it's not It's not always been you know, Roses.
You know there was the time that we lost uh yeah, can you can
you actually roll me a history check at that point with disadvantage all of us,
just me because you you said, remember this specific time disadvantage that's a
natural one, as Dan, that's perfect as you literally like oh yeah,
no, yeah no, remember that one time you kind of get hit with
that flash again of like not like streets on fire or whatever, just like
normal like life. But you get that that memory you have at your cookout,
We're like, yeah, things used to kind of suck, and like
when you were looking for that specific memory of like oh yeah, no,
there's a one time where things were bad. Like you literally cannot remember any
bad memory of Butcher's bag, and it kind of stumps you and you're just
like, yeah, I remember that one time. We uh it was right,
m oh what that game? I was almost sad that one time you
lost. But then there was a double rainbow in the sky, so you
know it made up fresh. Oh that was brilliant. It wasn't a triple
it wasn't a triple rainbow. I mean that's that's I guess a bumma.
Yeah, I almost burned the buns, but I didn't burn the buns.
I mean that was that was good. I like a little jaw. I
think lt didn't you feel like something weird in the water last time? Like
he got a weird sense, like a kind of weird for boating it.
I think absolutely that. But that even that wasn't necessarily bad. And if
if, if all of you, if your characters would try to remember memories,
good memories, you you would Now that you're thinking about it, it's
fucking strange you're thinking back and like like it's very much like Belle in the
beginning of Beauty the Beast, just like walking like the yeah, literally like
just everything's perfect, right, Yeah, it's like it just it's like a
weird moment of like that isn't right, Like there's something wrong here and like
now that, now that Williams brought it to attention, can you all roll
me another wisdom saving throw please? Natural twenty Okay, excellent, an eight
and eight's not not as good as a natural twenty twelve, twelve twelve,
natural twenty and sixteen sixteen. So both Craigan and Bruce all of a sudden,
this conversation doesn't really matter, um vex you you're able to stay in
this moment. You're able to hold on. It's like you ever tried to
like hold on to like a fish, something like something like the fish and
water like something slippery. Uh, if you were trying to catch a child
with a neck. That's not We're not it's not gonna happen. This is
just for this, for us, us five years that um be like trying
to like hold like a bar of soap, like under water. Like it's
like you can feel trying to get away. You feel like this memory or
this this conversation is trying too. It's like it's like falling out of your
mind. You're able to hold onto it, and um but lt with a
natural twenty Uh, you notice something Actually I gripped the soap you grab you
grabbed this, you crush the soap, it's comes erupting out through your fingers.
Um, you notice actually something quite strange. Um, you notice the
crystals on your net are pulsing. You're able to keep and I keep the
idea in your head that someone is messing with your mind. So okay,
so I get both feels like something like I feel like something Okay, he's
ah, was this always supposed to be blowing like this? Sorry? Glowing?
You do? You do? You see this? You're trying to put
two to together. It's like the memory loss in like in regards to the
purple crystals, I'll like some sort of could I make that connection? Would
he be able to? Would an he'd be like with a with a natural
twenty? I think, yeah, you you it would. It would not
be a big logical jump to realize that there's something The crystals are something connected
to you. Your memory. I think it sees the crystals. That's it's
what are you saying? Are you bringing those to breakfasts? The crystals make
your net look fantastic, that's true, but it also think messages with um
with our minds. I think, are you talking about what the kid was
saying. Yes, I think William is he's onto something. I think these
crystals are to blame. All write you two. All right, where's the
crack? It's the net. Here we go. It's heard. I've given
the net like put this on? Are you thinking the net on on?
Cregan? Yeah, yeah, no, we don't even make me talk about
you, creg and oh oh the net oh and just sort of like takes
it like an asshole and wow. Wait no no no no, not like
no, not like that, no no, no no no, alright,
alright, well almost went into Matthew McConaughey again. Um. I don't know
about you, but a way that Willem described those breakfast burritos to me,
they sounded heavenly and if only there was someone to come distract me so I
could. I wish that I had a father, you know, kind of
like this, Uh, what's this character you talk about this? Bruce?
Bruce Springstein. Yes, he apparently. I've heard only good things about Bruce
Springsteen. Not not to get too crazy deep, but you know, I
have a bad relationship with my father, were very estranged and stuff, But
you know, I tried to love him for what he is, and and
forgive him for what he Isn't you know? It could free me up some
stress in my life. But anyway, sorry, you were you were no,
I was talking right, Okay, it's burg Wire style. Oh right?
Are you all tired of waking up in the morning and two things,
not being underground and not knowing what's going to happen in your future? Well,
I literally it was just having this problem. I was actually above ground,
um, speaking with a sort of seer as it were. Um.
And you know, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. You don't
know where you're going with it because you don't have an oracle to tell you
what to do and say next. So that's that's the point of this add
brik we're today, we're talking about you guessed it, folks, the one,
the only underground oracle there are. Dear friends, if you've been listening
to us from the get go, you probably have heard heard us use a
lot of their good stuff NPCs like Mama Bardosa, items like the bound the
cube of the bound and Gopher, or the cloak of the Great burglar Um.
But or the guardship or the guardship yeah, or the cephalopod nope,
Sepharial or the Sepharial or just the regular old octopus. Yea, you didn't
know, but they did that. They invented Underground Oracle, invented Octopi and
deal with it, mother autocopies. I'm sorry, just just getting ahead of
that one, thank you. Um. But yeah, so you guess that,
folks, we're talking about Underground Oracle to bad If. For those of
you who don't know, Underground Oracle are focused on creating TTRPG supplements, four
games like the Cipher System, four games like D and D five, all
of it in the vein of Tasha's or Zanathar's um. And they have a
Patreon. For as little as three dollars a month, you can get access
to NPC's feats, Spells, Magic Items NPCs. Again, there's a third
option for NPCs as well. But the most exciting thing right now is that
new world. David, I heard a lot about. This new world is
the new world. Underground Arcle is making a crystal punk world for the Cipher
System called Harrow, and I was lucky enough to take a little sneak peek
at it, and trust me, it's amazing. There's political intrigue there's people
covered in crystals, there's punks, there's races, and there's all what's what's
the world called again called harrow? So please go how are you doing?
How are you? H No? Please go check out undergund arcle. They
got some cool stuff coming up. They got stuff for all sorts of new
systems and all sorts of amazing, creative, wonderful, fantastic things. And
that is it. So without further to stop waking up above ground and stop
waking up knowing what your day holds over. Whoa do you do? You
story people? And that's the end of borg Wares, but not the end
of me talking about my father. Um, I'm actually leading a support group
for sons of a strange sons of fathers. Uh. It's it's on deck
to e. So if you ever you know, any of you, no
judgment, no judgment, Um, just coming by. We support each other,
we talk, you know, it's it's a healthy environment. Okay,
I'm going to go kill a bird. Oh my god, but that one
not gonna lie. Threw me for a loop. So without further ado,
the story time woo, No, that didn't that didn't come out right?
Takes it very sarcastically is what wow? Uh, Craig and you as the
net falls over you can you make me a death say, I'm just gonna
now at this point, um, you're already kind of back to your original
sort of happy, go lucky chill vibes, So it doesn't really in your
mind. It is just Elsie just doing that on you. Confoundedilty, I
kept this. It's inescapable maze of a net. You don't feel anything.
I'm telling you, it's it's full stating can you atleast see the glow?
You see the crystals pull? Stating all of you would see the net?
Is the crystals in net are giving off a slant like a faint like okay,
I suppose now that you mention it, yeah, but it's not always
done that. No, If it has that's like I said that through that's
affecting. I can feel it like in my mind like somebody just feels this
is feel I seem cool like it should. It feels more warm and murky,
which it just it doesn't. It just doesn't feel right. And I
think these crystals something to deal with out walk can't we break one? Is
is Eltie's mind? What it's like to chew five gum. Yes, yes,
it is exactly exactly Yes, that's exactly what good so glad um.
Yeah, you can absolutely try to break on if you want. Um,
well, I will I'm also Eltie. So a couple of things before we
start to break him here, Eltie, you notice Willam is like kind of
like just nodding and it's just like with you and just like, yeah,
there's something I can't really add my to this moment right now, but he
is. He is an appointment with you. Could you all roll me another
history check with disadvantage please, LT, Elsie you can have just regular don't
matter. It's only a six. No, no, no, it was
a seven. I got an unnatural twenty um. Okay. So then as
as um LT kind of brings your attention to the specifically the pulsing um you
you in just in that kind of back of your mind you're taking back to
just the many many hours spent on the ice of playing Butcher's ball um.
And there's something um the specifically like the cadence of the pulsing reminds you kind
of of the eye. I feel like Craigan is like really close because he's
got the net all out of all these things, and he's kind of like
it's just kind of like all of them in concert. That is incredible.
Is it like a tall little function? Do you this will go great and
our next match up. I think it will distract them, you know,
like it I was gonna say there'd be no way that, Like I said,
yes, so definitely will clout their memories. And then Bruce, I
don't think you should drink that's six pack. You look over, he's sorry
to and what's that? Here you go? I'm willing to share. Sorry,
Hey, sorry, gay I forgot to share. Hey, there's a
whole poor behind the back. But like it's a cancer takes forever. Was
like, and Vex, you said you want to try to you wanted to
try to break one of the chrystals. I just wanted to smash you with
my hammer. Just one make some dust, Yeah yeah, make a The
ac is gonna be really low. But let's see, um, what what
damage? How much damage you can do with your your hammer? It is
a one D four plus five. It's it's a hammer, so you can
do nine. I'll say, roll the roll the attack unless you're probably gonna
hit, unless you quit fail no, if you get a one n comes
a total of ten damp, but still it's one one plus um. So
then with with the crypt fail I'll say I was gonna have you do like
a damage thresholding, where like it wouldn't have done anything unless you got over
a certain amount of damage. But with the crypt fail um, you you
bring your hammer down, you make good contact with the crystal, and you
hear sort of a kind of makes that that clings that you hear that sound,
and as you take your hair back, it looks like the crystal itself
is undamaged. Ah c chins, I couldn't break us. Can anybody else
try and smash it? Could we get me untangled? First? Maybe?
I mean it looks nice though very fashionable. You look great, You look
dazzling with the neh. I don't like you know, I'm not one to
you know, be a Debbie downer if you will, but you know these
are nice gifts that were given to us by the mayor. I don't I
don't think we If it'll ease your mind, I'll cast to tech magic on
it, see if we can't discern something that way, and then Breakfast is
ready to We gotta eat some food. I got to remember, these are
all these things, you know. It's uh, you know, Butcher's Bay
is great. We got to focus on the mission at hand. But if
it'll ease your mind, I'll I'll detect some magic. Yeah that seem okay,
and then we'll eat some delicious breakfast. Almost done, will, And
we gotta find your brother. I'm sure he's alive. Oh yeah, thanks,
Sorry, I forgot I was here. This is getting in the way
of the mission though, Bruce. I'm just saying, I mean, you
can't play the best Butcher bawl on a clouded mind. It seems like a
prank to you. The beer tastes great. I'm three, n I'm feeling
great, like you're still taking good Yeah. Yeah, it's but can you
remember when you didn't feel great? Uh? Yeah, I'm just gonna I
don't know, I just gonna protect magic on this thing. See what happens.
I don't want to think about anything too weird for only ten am.
Yeah, so I guess can I cast a tech magic? Is anything weird?
Okay? I do cool? I forget the exact color of it.
Um, But in this world, all of a sudden, Bruce, you
see coming off of not just the nets, off of the beers, off
of the EMF reader reader, and off of the bubble head. You see
a pale, sickly green energy, which you would know that is the color
of necromantic energies. And at that point, I'm gonna need you all to
look up to the ceiling and say what does that sound? What does that
sound? Because there's a bell ringing as an alarm is going off up on
the main deck of the ship. Oh is it breakfast time for them as
well? Bruce, you would know lt. You probably would not too.
The breakfast bell sounds not like breakfast. The breakfast bell is a slow ding
yeah sort of thing. Oh yeah, just easy, come on in kids,
coming from the prairie soups on. No, this is a much more
frantic, more alarmed, terrified sound. But also you hear all along the
sides of the ship. You hear the sound of sort of scuttling, sharp
sharp feet, just sounds crown all the sides of the ship. What do
you all do really quick before we do anything? Yeah, two things.
I was trying to cast Hero's feast. You everyone, okay, boost with
the breakfast? Would that be okay? To so we ate enough so I
can cast that, I will say, just to keep the energy up.
You can all grab a you made made breakfast burritos to go. Grab a
quick breakfast burrito on your way out. Yeah, you can get the benefit
of it of Hero's Feast. Also, can y'all take an inspiration disk because
there was a lot of RP and good stuff that was happening there. And
yeah, so here this terrifying scuttling, scraping, scratching sound coming from the
outside of the wooden hole of the ship while you hear footsteps all on the
top and you hear shouts and this a long run off up up top.
Also, they said there was two things we're trying to do, Bruce,
Well, yeah, I think the second thing would play into after that.
But really quick, everyone gets eight temporary hit points. Barros feeds. Yeah,
you're immune to poison and you're immune to being frightened, and all your
wisdom saves have advantage. Damn, Hero's Feast is good. These burritos are
fantesting. I don't know where you put it on. Yeah, vegan cheese,
real meat though, I just like, um cool As you all make
your way back up Willem actually is in toe come out of like a little
bit a little staircase that leads down down black over here. And as you
as you run up, William's falling with you. And as you kind of
come from down the belly of the ship, as you come from the low
decks, you you you crest on this scene of two real quick, because
you all roll my history checks again or just survival checks, whatever, whatever's
better for you to see if you can recognize these creatures seventeen History seventeen sixteen
sixteen seventeen one one we've got let's get them out of the way now.
Yeah, oh wow, you know what seriously, Eltie, you would notice,
and I Bruce too, you both would notice. You know that these
are relatively common monsters in the in the waters close by, um, you
know that the nights Watch Knights End does a really good job of keeping them
pretty much it. But you notice something interesting about these specific remorizes, which
for the listener at home is imagine like a giant, like fifteen foot tall
centipede with like a cobra head and blue, yeah, blue, they're they're
they're nasty creatures. You would notice there's something interesting about these these these homies
there they almost seem a little bit ethereal, like a little bit wispy,
almost ghost like. That's it with your sixteen or seventeen. For ease of
this, I will be rolling for like the main pirates are going to be
handling Ramarez one over here. You will all sort of be responsible from or
two over here, depending on how good I roll. You might have a
second one you're dealing with. But for just just for sake of simplicity,
you all come up on the on the deck and you see the ramor Az.
It's coming up the left side of the starboard side of the ship,
which is the right side of the ship. You see mest of the Night's
Watch and the Silver fleet taking this one to pound Town fool school. Uh.
And it looks like the one that is on the port side of the
left side is rather on the table. So just gnawing on the side of
the ship. If you could all roll in your shative eighteen eighteen. Alright,
so Bruce's first, It means I gets six before you, right,
Bruce into first. I got twenty two. So you want the next above
there? Just I have ten, Okay, not even on the table.
I am the table cracking tripped and you heard some bumping behind you as you
ran up. That was him falling. Do okay, okay? Yeah.
So I was at PAX yesterday and I got these dice from the always delightful
Patch picture. It's awesome. Yeah, roll these roll these guys. Thanks,
Patch are gonna help me kill my characters. Oh that's a pretty good
roll Patch. Um cool. So the order of operations, we have Vex
Hexington, the twenty two Bruce Springsteon with a twenty U Pirate that I just
wrote him as pirates, but like just like the crew, it's be a
nineteen. Then we have LT with an eighteen. Then we have Rameraz three,
so the one that you guys were fighting with fifteen and then the one
below with the fifteen. And then we have bring up the rear. Greg
is William part of the crew. What happens all right? Well, a
good ship, that's tradition, that's it. William is going to be going
up before before Greganum cool. So I said, Vex, Bruce, Pirates,
LT, and the Ramerazes them thing Craig ready, as you follow the
sounds of the scraping up the sides of the of the ship. You follow
the sounds of the of the along run off the sounds of the yelling.
You burst out onto the main deck of the ship and you see two fully
grown ramarazes, which again for those at homes, look like giant fifteen foot
centipedes with insectoid faces and like like cobra hoods. Um. They're nasty,
they're blue, they're they're all heat based and nasty, nasty. They can
swallow you. Be careful, um as yeah, as vex. You come
out on the scene. You see these two horrific monsters up on the sides
of the ship. You see pirates of handling the ones, one to the
port side, but there's one that rather seems unattended. Seems rather unattended.
What you do so hands on hips um kind of like strolling towards the remarand
um either or a kind of sea creature to proof on a book or off
field and not pick up after himself. I'm gonna have to take care of
this myself, aren't I. So the first thing I'm gonna do is a
hex played curse once for short rest. I can basically, you know,
just cast a nice gentle curse on them. And I can do an additional
plus for bonus damage to my roles if I score a criticial hit on a
nineteen or twenty. Um, oh my criticals on a nineteen as well.
Um, and I get fourteen HP if it does Hell yeah, okay cool.
Um, I think that's gonna resolve it's self like a ice crown.
Um, it's really too fancy and too beautiful for this like ugly bug friend.
But you know, yeah, curse is a curse. And then,
um, I'm just gonna scow it on up. I think I described myself.
I didn't listen back. Um short oversized hoodie. Hoodie's over up because
I'm a asthmar protector warlock. I've got the glowing eyes. But it was
kind of like very fish like in the sense that my hood is like this
deep dark, gathered and all like singer two glowing eyes. Um, so
those eyes kind of like shine for a moment, and then my little legs
will like speed walk with the hammer that and when I pull the hammer out,
you know, it always comes out just like a good old fashion like
hand hammer, and then with a good shake like you would a periscopic telescope.
Oh, I was almost there you understood what I was trying to say.
When it shoots out, it expands, um, and then it's just
going to turn into this jumbo hammer with a very pink lemonade flavor, yellow
and pink, and I'm gonna attack white. Seventeen is where you're looking for.
Sixteen first hit is not okay, Now that's a one, so a
ted total again, it's just a swing and then a swing and a myth.
I'll flavor it with like it's still like kind of unlading and like creeping
up and it's a little hard to like pinpoint exactly where it's gonna go.
Yeah, exactly. Um. And I will say, you notice that the
closer you get to this thing thing, it's actually very hot. In fact,
you look down and you see the wooden planks of the ship starting to
smolder a little bit, sort of smoke a little bit as the things touching.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty it's pretty hot. M Is there anything
also trying to do with your churn? That was attack action? Yea was
the curse Bruce Springsteen. You you see your friend Vex Hexington charged forward facing
off against a fucking terrifying fifteen foot centipede. You see the pirates down to
the port side handling handling it, handling, um, but what are you
doing? So Bruce comes up from the stairs, sees everything. He just
goes, all right, gang, listen up. You know we've faced worse
on the field, is saying nothing but a normal butcher ball match. Listening.
He's gonna move up kind of between where Lt and Craig and are currently
just a little bit. He slaps both of them on the shoulder yells out
to Bex, Hey, listen, we got this. We've we've trained for
this, don't even worry about it. And I'm casting bless on everyone.
So what that means is that anytime you make an attack role or a saving
throw, you get to add it to you for worth the role to them.
So that's my main action. Then also I'm going to kind of yell
out to this creature. You know, we're vex is out there and just
like, hey, backs, listen, listen, this this a little worm.
Ain now that you got this all right? All right? The little
worms is a little weedy h And what I'm doing is I'm casting sanctuary as
a bonus action on VEX. So if any creature wants to attack Eves,
they have to make a wisdom saving throw or they must choose a new target
or lose the attack. All right, we got this team, all right,
fantastic. It is now ow pirate cruise turn. As all that is
going on. Up on the port side of the ship, you hear a
couple of screams coming from the pirates side of things. It looks like you
look over and you see a couple of them starting to get like knocked down,
and maybe a couple of throwing into the waters. As the ramor ads
that they're fighting, he starts to thrash them the bow. So yeah,
yeah, it looks like it looks like the parts are the part of the
looks like the sailors are starting to get sort of handed handled a little.
Um as lt it is your turn. You see becks up on the port
side facing off solo against the ramor Az, and you see down on the
starting side a bunch of sailors not doing superhigh What you doing well or solo?
Like two um So it's easy to take a deep breath that it's kind
of breathe out cool air. You almost see like Brian like you know,
Brons like cover his body as he rages, and then he's going to I
have forty Feetza, well he's gonna run the forty feet towards where effects is.
And then one is gonna first is gonna as his way to writing,
it's to chuck his net at its head. And that's just I'm gonna say
just what I needed seventeen. Yeah. So now it's a strain. So
that's make like a strain check as uses action to make a strain check to
it's one link ten and that's uses actually get out of it. And so
I got a red round and gets mandibles zame mark for its face and I
get advantage on attacks against that since it's kind of restrained in that aspect as
well. Yeah, So with that, and when I make a hit with
my net, because with my under run racal try to net. When you're
wearing a tray to one hand, you can m make a bonus acts boss
check that you try to say it with the net, I can make a
bonus seck by trend, which I'm going to do. So okay, okay,
which is advantage. This is good because that's a natural well well,
and so I kind of and with that blessed too, so go it kind
of slits from my hand. But I remember coaches talk. I remember him
making a guy get my elbow up, and so as before we throw,
make sure you get my elbow the last second to get that ripe perfect them
throw on there. It's like then I go and just get a staff,
so can I once supposed just gonna jab it into its mandibles and so that's
ten total damage. Excellent. Um, that's a good hit. So as
yeah, as LT runs up, you get it kind of tangled up,
you get its face mandabouts tangled up with with your net and it's thrashing around
you. You get a great shot and you stab it with you tried doing
ten damage. I see you. I think I get because I can get
two attacks. Them up because of a brayer, and I get two attacks
so I can attack it again. Then I believe absolutely. And did you
ad the plus two for your I did. So that's why I think that's
about of ten, it's plus three now because we're ten. Oh hell yeah,
all right, so it didn't make it. Yeah make here with sixteen
you stop advantage. Yeah, but it's still sixteen, so you have sixteen.
It'll use blessed once right of course on our all attack roles, I
think it's all, oh yeah, so then it's gonna no matter what that's
gonna be seventeen then yeah, because that's still over with coaches. Yeah,
it's those such and sort of just like because I kind of miss at first
and I kind of take it your breathing, He's almost like you gotta you
gotta take that next shot, So I take the next shot. Oh so
fifteen fifteen damnage excellent? Um yeah, as as LT runs up and with
net and tried, and you get this thing all sort of tangled up and
you you hit it, and as you hit it, you're as you're tried
and pierces. It's it's scaly high. I'm gonna need you to take so
damage dam rages. So it's like piercing or anything. It's it's not actually
it's fire damage. It's hot damage hate too. Let's even word nine nine
fire damage. As as as you start to hit this thing, and it's
blood like it's blood st to fall on you, like it's blood is almost
boiling a little bit. But also like some of the this is like you're
like weening, like unpressure as aca steam valves. Oh yeah, it's like
spraying with this like heated body and heated goop inside of it. But nine
damage not not the worst. Now is our our good friend Remy. The
Remoras is turn and what do I have to do because I have sanctuary and
i'm and I'm restrained, so I have to make first I have to make
a strength check to get out. That's that's my whole Actually get out the
net. Yeah, okay said it's a ten, I believe, so that's
that's a fifteen on the dice. Yeah, so it definitely it's going to
get out of it. But that's that's it. Yeah, because the att
actually get out. You have nets. What you're gonna do? Yeah,
yeah, let me just tell a check. Yeah, there's nothing like that's
if I hit you, I can, I could swallow you all. But
that's that's gonna happen. Um. So, as you see this Remoras like
gets stabbed to bunch by LT, it like tries, you know, like
a little nasty little centipede feet like it's trying to like get the net off
its face. It finally like hooks one of its little nasty clause and it
gets it off its face. But then it's more impressed with itself that it
did that. It forgets to do its turn that. It's just like he's
like clapping with all his little hand. It's like, yeah, I did
it, Look at me go. It's it would be horrific if it wasn't
so cute. Um As, actually, okay, you you hear a few
more streams come from downtown. I'm down the other side of the ship.
As you look over, you see one of the one of the Night's Watch
folks get just kind of gulped up by Ricardo, the Remoraz Riccardo. He's
doing a lot better than remy. Um that's it for the two remor Az.
Terms As Willem, he's just like shit, okay, uh he runs
in Yeah yeah, Let's get a little sneak attack damage going on here,
So let's do an attack roll over here from Willem. That is is Nope,
doesn't hit William. William doesn't hit with either of other of his attacks
right here. He's all too small. The remor Az is beebopping and scooting
around. Um As, Craigan, it is your turn. You have three
of your friends up fighting the remorazzal acroat side. You see the pirate sailors
down on the startard side getting swallowed and just fully fully just destroyed by the
sort of Remoras down there. What are you trying to do, Craigan under
his brother's just just like on the field, just like on the field.
Come on, come on, boy, you got this. And then he's
gonna cast Bain on the two ramarazzs, and he pulls out a small little
hark and begins plucking a very minor chord, which the cartoon music notes fly
into the ears of the ramarazzes, and basically with with Bain, it's like
the opposite of bless. They're gonna have to roll a D four and subtract
the number from attack rolls or saving throws. So the only thing is they
need to make a charisma saving Throw're not that charismatic. Let me tell you
you want to know how charismatic they are. I heard Ricardo does a mean
stand up set. He does because three I rolled a seven, so that's
four for for Remi and Ricardo got a seven also, so two fars they
both fail. Very nice. One last thing because that has a bonus action
as a curse collar Bard I can use a caller's dirge and again for anyone
interested, this is a under supplement. That's right, baby. So as
a bonus action, I can expend a use in my bartic inspiration to sing
one of the following dirgeons. And I am going to sing the soldiers and
I might be pronouncing this wrong. The soldier's monade now got monade as sure
say with your chest say it Joe, Soldier's MONADEE Choose a creature that can
hear you within sixty feet to make a chrismas saving throw. On a failure
until the start of your next turn, the target has disadvantage on attack rolls.
Additionally, if their attack does any damage, roll your bartic inspiration die
and subtract the amount from the total damage. Underground Oracle does some awesome wild
stuff bards. Bards are their their x's sick. Let's showcase this. It's
gonna be fucking awesome. Um is that? Do I have to roll a
Christmas savent throw with the minus D four with the Let's see how that goes?
Okay, Let's let's see how low we can get. Yeah, and
this is only for remy, Okay, so let me roll the D twenty.
Uh okay, so that's the seventeen on the dice. That's that's the
spell safe. Oh oh fo though, but the D four also, but
it's just naturally a negative negative throw. So so we have it down to
fourteen minus four, down to ten. What else am I subtracting from this
guy? That's it. I had a seventeen on the dice, down to
ten. All right, well done, So Remy's gonna have disadvantage on these
attack rolls. Good job, Remy. As is he sitting there like just
kind of like clicking his fingers like excited. They got the net off his
face, you see, you see him go this a little bit of Walleye
and just for some flavor that the tune that Craigan's starts to pluck. He
seems a little confused at it too. It's about lost love, it's about
blood. Oath's made and banishment's cast. And then he kind of finishes the
little the little line of the tune. And anyways, yet back into the
play, back into the fray. It's beautiful, and that is it for
the first round of combat. We're back in. Good job everyone, good
job, a good job everyone. So then just to reset the stage a
little bit. We have two ramorrasses on the side of this boat. One
on the port side are three are parties fighting. They're doing a brea good
job of it. And down on the starboard side the sailors are fighting another
one and they're not doing such a good job. They're getting knocked off the
boat and they're getting eat by this thing. But Vex, you are up
against this very hot like not like oh thanks, it's so hot, like,
oh it's hot, this hot centipede. Your friends are attacking it with
tridents, and it's going a little bit cross sided because his kick gets it's
getting all sorts of disadvantages put on it. What are you trying to do
well, I think, um, Vex, even though like she completely missed
hitting it with the hammer, Um, she saw what happens if you do
hit it with an object, then it's you're gonna be a little toasty.
You risk um, you risk some spicy fire. Uh So with that,
UM, I'm not gonna move because I don't want it to hit me.
But what they are, what she will do is um shutter on the boat,
on the on the boat. Yeah, we go and do it.
I mean, is that gonna is that gonna do a thing to the boat.
Yeah, this could be a real short a venture if you want to
be Does the boat have to make a constitutional stagent? No? And one
thing I think I don't know there's a real thing, but we've done it
from a far before. Because Christian use a shatter very regularly on the show.
If you're attacking like like an organic or like a like would it just
does like double damage. So like, if you do want to take the
boat, you're you're gonna be You're gonna be fucking it up. I don't
really want to Totally fine, totally fine, thank you. I like the
boot. It keeps a sprysh the water is fine. Okay, Well can
I get a constitution saving throw please? Thank you? Absolutely yes minus adpour
right with the bean. That is a twelve minus another four. Cool,
so that's eight plus five because it's constitutions everything right, So that would be
thirteen needed a sixteen. Oh oh no, okay, good good for you,
bad for me. Um. So the full damage of this is going
to be thirty two. Holy okay, that was sixty eight. Yeah,
that's great, good job. That's one of my two spell slobs. So
I think be just kind of like channels all of the rage of always having
to work in the water, and um, this hecking monster that shows up
threatening to wreck the ship, and she's like, oh and just kind of
like very Palpatine like just channels electricity into it. Excellent, thunder damage.
Let me just teble check. Nope, you're good. Cool. Um,
great shot as you get what what is your? What is your? What
is your? You said Palpatine, just like you just like shoot this thing.
Awesome. So Vex kind of steps back a little bit, not leaving
this thing's line of uh, where's it's not getting opportunity attack, but you
lean back and you just let your lightning ice powers go. You see this
thing? Yeah? Literally, Um, and it's not it's starting it all
look super great. Um, Bruce, it is your turn. Your friends
are doing very well against the Marands. A couple questions, Um, yes,
answers. Remind me how big these are at least large size. They
are, no, sorry, huge, They're huge standing up with their like
cobra heads rays, probably like fifteen feet tall, probably like their feet long.
Okay, okay, And then do I see any of my family around
here? Yeah? You do? They're fighting. The one beneath you.
You see all three of them aersho oh, the one that they're not doing
very well. Yeah, the one they're not doing super great. Yeah,
gotcha. If if you want to, if you want to take a look,
I'm not gonna make it cost anything, but you can take a look
and seem through how your family's doing if you want. Yeah, I wouldn't
mind just peep and just seeing what's going on. Right as you look over,
you're like, oh, shoot, where's my family? You look over
and you see like very Avengers style kind of combo move. You see Tom
Morella go down on his shield as as Avril Levine jumps up and like just
draws two huge dagger woods across Ronalda. What did I say? The other
one Ricardo. You see like the hot blood and like hot air burst out
of this thing she takes. He's here taking some damage, but then her
brother's right there helping her, kind of putting that healing him on her right
as their mom rolls around hits this thing with a big old axte Like,
you see your family themselves starting to do pretty well. Maybe now that they're
entered the fray. The I think the tables are going to turn a little
bit from this room. Arass. Okay, So again he's just you know,
he's just on the I don't move. I'm in the back. I'm
just going all right. Yeah, looking great, gang, looking real good.
Hey, listen, I'll tell you what if there's anything this is,
it's a great team building, a bonding moment here. You know, we're
out there, we're using our moves, we're using our special plays. Y'all
are doing great. We're doing great. We're gonna get back on that Butcher
ball field and we're gonna kill it. Y'all are amazing. And I'm casting
one of my special abilities, emboldening Bond, which basically is blessed again.
So everyone gets two D four now tapped. I'm pretty sure you can stack
it. Um, Yeah, yeah you can in this world. Let's go.
Yeah. So it's any attack, rollability check or saving throw you get
an additional D four And there's some things I can do later with that.
But also I am going to as well as my bon boning action action.
Hey, I just see my wife out there. I'm like, oh,
you're doing great, babe, getting all hot bothered. No, I'm going
to as a bonus action cast mass healing word on up to six creatures.
So I think only LT has taken damage so far, so it'll be LT,
and then the rest is going to go to the crowd below fighting.
Then the way I'll say that's gonna work is I'm gonna give them a like
advantage and then like plus a lot of stuff because like now you're starting to
help them keep the story focused on you guys, but like you will help
them to feed this faster. Now basically, yeah, then LT, you
get eleven good points back. It's just good job, good job, team,
all right. So Bruce Springsteen's hanging out in the back, just just
casting spells, helping both sides of the fight. Now, well time best
coach ever, um as it is now the sailors terms and uh, I
will say, with the help with the help of Bruce Springsteen and the Springsteen
family. You see them. You see the pirates getting into like this like
awesome formation with the paladins of the Silver Fleet, or like getting in front
hold of the shields up while the rogues and archers and spellcasters are behind the
line of getting shooting off their ranged weapons and rugues are sneaking around attacking this
thing. You see it starting to get start to scuttle backwards and starting to
like get a little fray, like, oh shit, we might have done
this wrong. And like you're now really seeing like the true power of these
two fleets, Like they're working together and they're like repelling this is like this
is like old news for them. But that's great because you just you just
help them do a large amount of damage that thing as LT it is your
turn again. You've just been healed. You see the both sides of the
battle actually starting to turn in your favor, which is great. And you're
raging, you're icy, you look cool like an orca and what are you
doing? So I'm going to take another bonus action to do search of the
deep, which is another underground o ocal things. So I kind of take
a deep breath and from one of my parents, they're undying from very deep
in the water, very and he missed like mysterious kind of deep dark.
I'd hand to take a deep breath. You see more rhymes like a frost
and go across our body. It's like, that's the coolest second veiled me
going to the tip of my trident um and then I'm going to make an
attack. I'm going to attack it. Go to recklessly attack. It's in
front of me right now, So get to add two D four today.
It's your baseball thing. It was a twenty seven. Trying to get trink
of that twenty though. It's very close. So this one's gonna be thirteen
points of damage. We'll plus a D four from my um coolness as well.
It's a little that as well, So sixteen points of damage. Sixteen
points of damage on your first one, excellent? What about your second attack?
So close at least it's still hitting those says, that's a twenty seven.
Try and get that trick of that critical ten. So thirteen on the
seconds excellent. Yeah, you're you're really starting to chunk this thing down.
You see, like its scale starting to peel back, and the steam and
this hot blood is just kind of starting to gush all over the floor.
You're gonna take another source of damage here, um, sort of taking another
take ten fire names almost doesn't really hurt because you're your good friend Bruce Springsteen
has just casting you hitting me with those good, good heels. Um anything
else for your turn? That's going to be everything I can do. Um.
That was awesome. So now it is Ramy's turn. Uh, and
he's not restrained. But now I have to make I have to make a
wisdom saving throw or waste my turn because he's still they're still sanctuary like bound
or well. Yeah, they can attack me though, so they can move
attack to someone else only if you attack bags. Yeah, well then I
think he would absolutely attack you right there? My yeah, LT sorry about
that. So that's twelve on the dice plus eleven. Yeah, I think
that's gonna hit as the ramaz has finally had enough rearing thrashing about it finally
gains a little bit of purchase on you, my friend. Okay, we
so you're gonna take this much piercing damage is gonna be happed. So I'm
gonna roll six D two piercing damage to be happed. It's twenty one piercing
damage. Have that that has happened? One has half? Okay, dang
wow, yeah you know it hurt um And then i'man it needs to make
me a DC seventeen strength yes, strength strength saving thirty yes, weday it
would that be? Um? Do I get advantage from here? It spasically
something right or no, you get that two D four. Yeah, it's
wisdom saves, you get advantage. Dang, I'm gonna mouthfill adam so twenty
one and then two D four so twenty five. So then this is this
is the way it happened. This thing like cobras its head down to like
bite you right in the chest and like you can't you like kind of like
put your arms in like ketch. It's mouth open. It's still like the
tried it. I think they trying to kind of like let me downe completely.
Yeah, you kind of get in the roof of the mouth with the
tried it and like it's it's leaking in its hot blood on you, and
its teeth are kind of asking it. You know. It's a little tenny
nasty hands are scrabbling at you. If you're taking some damage. You're holding
it off, but you're taking some damage. You if you'd failed that,
you would have been restrained and he would have swallowed you. And you don't
want that. So um, that is it for his turn. As we
go back to the Rameraz down on the starboard side one, Ricardo, I'm
sorry. As we go back down to Ricardo, Ricardo got a natural one
he is getting very spooked by the Springsteen's and their crew. As will lum
it is your turn, that's me. He's gonna sneak around. That is
gonna be real quickly. I like to just get these guys things real quick.
Looms for stack hits. This same attack doesn't hit, so that'll be
real quickly. Um sneak ta sneak attack, says, So it's four plus
twenty four damage from that sneak attack. As. Yeah, I know he's
as as you look into his eyes, you get the sense that he's killed
with people, maybe even more than half a Rovin Hard life, and he's
he's only just coming up on being a tween tween yet as William as with
the remeras focused on on Lt. William sneaks around like the back and it's
just kind of like digging into him with his daggers. Uh and Willim take
some damage, but he's fine. As it is Gregen's turn, all right,
Greg, And you see the situation up on the port side is getting
a little more dire. LT is almost being smallowed by a Remoraz. Looks
like the Springsteens and the rest of the sailors are handling ricardown down on the
starboard side. But what are you doing? Um? So he sees the
uh, the remoras trying to get the chomp on LT and he's he's going
to move in for you know, play play ce and the playbook se point
five maybe. So he's going to take out from behind him his spear,
which is you know, the shaft of it is a which bowl um handle
handle? Yeah, hockey or hockey with your ball handle. And then he's
gonna run up behind and jump as high as he can, which is maybe
like you know, a foot and a half foot vertical stab it into that
one. So I'm going to roll the attack for that. Let's see.
Oh okay, that's an eleven. But oh I didn't. I didn't do
the bless So let's see two four yeah, yeah, two four have inspiration
two that true? True? Okay? So oh no, nope, I
got sixteen with both those defours. I'll use the inspiration right, okay,
okay, okay, So I'll roll it again. Boone baby, yeah made
it this time. Give me that swanky damage. Let's get that swanky damage.
That's a total of eight damage, um. And then as a bonus
action, he's going to use a cold as a boning action. As a
boning action, he's using a draconic cry and let out a cry at enemies
within ten feet of you. Until the start of your next turn. You
and your allies have advantage on the technicles against the enemy that could hear you.
So he lets out as he's doing that and jumping through the arm and
then stabs in. He's like hanging there a couple of feet off the ground.
I love it. You're hanging there off the ground. You do it
this great, great amount of damage. You take thirteen damage as as a
nice old spray of hot blood gets your right there in the lizard face.
Maybe that's where your dragon cry comes from. Yeah, great, good job.
So you rushed up, you attacked Remy, sprayed in the face with
some fireblood, and it is now Vexus turn. So like, this thing
isn't really looking like it's having a harder time it is. It looks like
if you get decent enough on your damage on this one, you can kill
this on your next turn. Okay, well, I've always wanted to cast
this. I don't think o spell slot the whole day. Um, you'll
get it back before next time. You're find Yeah, um, so I've
never really have to read this with y'all banishing smite. Whoa, So I
have to cast and that hit? Yes, you definitely cast it on you
like your hammer, and then try to hit it and if it hits then
it then it happens. You got two D four twenty four. You do
have inspiration and also my taconic cry gave advantage as well. Well, it's
hammer time. Yeah, it's hammer time. There it is, okay,
could do it. Seventeen is what you're looking for. I'll let you know.
I'll just let you know though before you roll. Um, you just
go ahead and make that at sixteen because I'm gonna use one of my poor
tents because I have two levels of wizard. So your first attack is a
sixteen regardless. Then you can add all your stuff. That's okay, so
holy shit, uh okay twenty Yeah what unnatural twenty with sixteen? Was?
You see your seventeen? So so he made your attack bass sixteen, So
so roll all your all, your plus is all so we two to eight,
then add your modifiers to sorry two D four, then add your modifiers
to them, right, okay, So six plus twenty two two right now?
So he just got twenty nine? Nice? Oh yeah, yeah,
what's up? Hit hit it with your damage, with your with your managing
somebody, let's do it. Fucking banish this thing the next four fores day,
that's what we're banishing into. We're doesn't even exist. That's how far
out it's given. The best day of the week. Yeah, while you're
looking that up, could I flavor what the portense looks like? Like?
How about? Yeah? Please? Do? I feel like there's like a
quick flashback to the Butcher ball field and like we're doing like this training thing
and then just like Bruceless like stops and he goes VEX, You're you're gonna
want to jump right now? Jump now? What was that? And then
like that flashes in your head just as the tail comes around or something.
Yeah, I love it the tail with Craigan on it, like on it
we hang out with his spear. So the first attack is only going to
be eleven and that's what the extra four damage that my hex does from the
little icy crown. Okay, and then second twenty three total smatch. You're
now the sixth person on this podcast. I'm gonna ask this too. I
need you to do something for me. Can you describe to me how are
you going to kill this thing? Nice? By making a pancake inspired by
the potato pancake rhubarb favorite breakfast from this morning. And it is a flattening
of strength and a flattening of friendship. Phenomenal job job everyone nice right as
I just love doing the sun shard because it looks so cute. When they
die, they little skull too, It's like it's like like I'm very sad
with all their friends attacking this thing. We have Cobalds embedded in spears on
its tail, but LT literally holding its mouth open with its trident. Bruce
Springsteen shooting off blesses and reminding you to jump over tails and stuff. You
you focus, you laser focus, and right is right? Is this thing?
Like? Right is? LT kind of like pushes away and you just
bring your hammer down right on its head and just in the most comical way
upon them possible. It flattens out like have you have you seen those hydraulic
press videos? Um and then just just for fun, uh LT Vex and
Craig and can you will take five fire damage as this for fun? Ups
in blood on you and just just for the fun of it, just for
the flip in fun of it. Ricardo's like, oh shit, and it
dives off. It's like I don't want to deal with this. Uh.
And Ricardo's gone to congratulations, you have solved my Ramarras puzzle with a handher
and squishing its head. Um, but that was wonderful. You was a
good fight, y'all. As the main deck kind of calms down, that
is where we're gonna end, as Neptune stands and gives a resounding yes,
team, we did it. Well done. That wasn't her voice. Um.
And she looks over and she sees you you for with Willem, And
she points at Willem and she literally just says you and starts walking towards him.
Oh shit, off, wait, you're right, you're you're you're totally
right. Let me let me thank you for the you're totally right. Holy
shit. Um okay, so back it up, back it up, back
it up. You seeing one remorrass fall off, you see the the other
one dive off. You see Neptune, we did it, hooray. As
she turns around, she points to Willam. She she looks she sees she
looks and she's she wow. She looks and she sees Bruce Springsteen standing there
when tussling his beard, a little bit of a little bit of sunlight glinting
off of the spot on his head as he turns, as like, as
you turn and you face your wife Neptune as the ramerass sort of explodes in
the back round and there's a little bit of a little bit of a remor
as explosion. And she turns and she looks to you all, and she
says, my my loving husband, and she runs over and she gives you
a big old hug, and she says, I told you you could do
it. You just had to get out and and and not just playing the
butcher ball field. I'm I'm so proud of you. And in fact,
she looks to all you she says, you four can stay on the top
deck and this plan. Oh, we all turned to each other. We
all like, we all like get really excited, and we all jump in
the air free swam style. That's where we're gonna end today's session. Well,
thank you for reminding me that William has a very silly must that Sunday
I wrote. I wrote a natural one on her perception check. That's like
you, who are you you? I don't know what my radiant glow boy
that she was her hot hot husband. Hello, I'm Adam Legrave. I
was playing Bruce Springsteen. Yeah uh yeah, retire your dad doing great.
If you want to catch up with me more, you can check out my
podcast, The Roaring Trainers Can't Own the jazz Age, a D and D
five E Pokemon podcast set in the nineteen twenties. Hello, all, I
have been vax Vaccinton or Haxington if I want to remember my own last name.
Otherwise, you can find me online is at b Underscores, Zelda just
about everywhere. I'm a podcast streamer, an t TRPT performer. Right now
I'm putting out some episodes of Enemy attash Shay and I'm doing a handful of
streams coming up. Honestly, follow me to figure out what I do.
Awesome, I'm Blake. I played lt the title child t build U with
the Undates the Street. Check out Underground How We're cool. They're awesome people,
So check out their stuff. Some cool stuff. Um. You find
me on the internet and Twitter at Blake, see Francis and I'm gonna put
their streams a little planning games. So you find me on Holming the Dude,
I'm there one. You find me on the first watch in the opal
Star podcast. Um, and I'm probably missing one night paused oh Home and
Dungeon Dummies, and then we just finished this season but we're coming back in
another season, so greated for that too and anything else. I'm sorry,
but but yeah, it's like planning games, so you're probably seeing around somewhere
hopefully. Yeah. And I've been Christian Spanella playing Craigenberger Band. It's been
a joy. First time on the sea, love the water, and I
have David Tilstra playing Adam's family and everything else in this show. Thanks so
much everybody for listening. Uh yeah, you're all amazing. Catchy all in
two weeks. Thanks. Our theme song was written by John Lowell Anderson.
Sound effects and music provided by artless dot Io and freesound dot Org, edited
by David Tilstra, and sound design by Christian Spanella. And finally, a
huge thank you to Kendari O'Connor for his invaluable sound mastering. Here we are
again in the thank you section, so thank you to the amazing cast that
just performed this episode that you just listened to. Thank you, b thank
you Blake, thank you Adam, thank you Christian. You all have brought
so much to this and this story is quickly becoming one of my favorite things
that we've done on from Afar. It's so much fun and so chaotic,
and yeah, you all brought such great energy to this whole thing, So
thank you, thank you, thank you for that. And then to everyone
else out there, thank you so much for listening and supporting. You all
are amazing, and yeah, that's it. I hope you all have a
wonderful, fantastic, amazing, wonderful day and just remember stay happy, stay
healthy, and dang, I hope you did your taxes. I know I
didn't. We just kidding. I didn't, and it hurt every ounce of
it hurt my entire body. But anyway, I love you all, thank
you so much for listening, and we'll see you all in two weeks.
Thanks bye,