Ladies and gentlemen. This episode is sponsored by Cords Against Humanity, and they
asked us not to read an ad, but they do want you to enjoy
the show. All right, let's see. All right, we're both level
four podcasters. Yeah. Yeah. It says that for beginners, you should
start at level four. Otherwise it's like advanced rules if you want to start
lower. Look, I picked out, I picked out. My guy is
the little headphones. That's what I picked. Okay, I'm gonna be the
MacBook awesome. Okay, what what feat did you take? Like, like,
what's your what's your special skill? Mine is too much research. My
character can do too much research and it really hampers doing other things in life.
I picked drunken rambling. Oh nice, so it's about them and almost
took that one. Yeah, but the downside is that, uh, I
only get the effect if I have if I have if we can afford beer,
and that's like not until like round three. So all right, so
I guess we'll start. I guess we start in the recording studio. Yeah
yeah, And oh I know what I'm gonna do. Hold on, hold
on, I'm gonna I'm gonna use I got it. On my list of
abilities musical intro? Oh nice? Yeah? Well do I have to make
a singing check for that? I do? Right, I don't know,
hold on, let me see that. Oh no, damn it. It
takes three It takes three rounds to get a musical intro. Ready, I
can't. I can't cast it now. Okay, um, well that's a
good thought though. Yeah. Um oh oh, I know, I know.
We'll do hold on yes, okay, self referencing intro. Yeah,
that takes no time. No, and it's exactly what you can do if
you don't know what to do. Wait wait, wait, wait, wait
wait, we both have to make save checks against being hacks. Okay,
you passed. Okay, it looks like we passed barely. She's yeah.
I thought I had more modifiers in that. Yeah, me too. Zero.
Currently, So for what we've got so far, we're not getting any
listeners. So I'm going to also use hold on on my list of abilities.
Boy, oh, got me a Cockney accent? Then? Oh?
Nice? Right too? Right? Oh shoot, right, that's nice.
What what can I have? Oh? Oh, here we go, I've
got a knockoff Monty python nice? Okay, great? Hello, Hello,
my name's David, and I'm afraid we'll once again here to promise you T
shirts and a functioning online web store. It doesn't ever exist to right with
day with taxes and types of shits? Did you say types of shits not
thought of? Did I blape? It? Was? It blaped? Now?
Must have been shuts? More bad? Well, guess store up?
So weak brobies to right? All right, I think we passed that right,
okay, level level three? Okay, let's see. Okay, hold
on, I'm drawing a challenge card. Your podcast has been reviewed by a
podcast that reviews podcasts. What what? That's what it says? Your podcast,
okay, has been reviewed by a podcast that reviews podcasts. Are they
getting like twenty dollars? I think? And they didn't like you? Shocking?
So yeah, that's our that's our challenge. So okay, we respond.
I guess okay, um man, I have a tirade. Well,
I've got a couple of skills here that that might be put in play.
Let me let me just review plus two to drunken tirade. Okay, well,
my my too much research gives me a plus two. If if I
was like, you know, go to town on for going to town a
rebuttal or something. Um, okay, all right, I've I've got a
mean counter review. Uh huh, I've got stoic silence, and I've got
co host discussion. Oh okay, hold on, at least see what I
got? Uh sierrany Sam plus two? That fart Sam, that's not gonna
happen making fun of Alex Jones Alex Jones voice. Does Alex Jones voice work
on this one? I don't think it translates? Yeah? Uh ooh ooh
ooh uh I could? I I could cast all press is good press,
maybe except for I don't feel like it is. I don't think it is.
Hmm. I've got one. How about rise above where we just thank
them for taking the time to listen to us. Okay, okay, well
you know what you do. You do that skill, and I'm also going
to do co host discussion with my plus two too much research? Okay,
I think that'll knock it out. Hold you go first. Yeah, okay,
Yeah, they didn't like us, but hey, you know what,
thanks for listening that not everybody's going to and that's fine. I'm just glad
that they took the time to listen to the podcast. Yeah, I second
that, and I'm also going to add you know, it might help if
you do a little more research than just looking at the picture of our podcast,
because we're not all about cryptozoology. Success. All right, all right,
challenge, no big deal in bro, holy crap. You know that's
enough points. I think we just yeah, we just defeated the intro level.
That's it. That Yeah, took took the intro down. Yeah,
okay, now, but makes safe check listen. Yeah, it's too late
save against will and forty two? Yeah? Have you? Have you critically
failed or rolled that net twenty? Only time will tell, probably somewhere in
the middle. Welcome to Flurry Photos. I'm David Flora. I'm Dave Stecco.
Hi. How you guys been Flora? Have you been? I've been
good. We don't talk about each other anymore. No, we don't care.
No, we're just a stone cold podcast machine. We don't give no
given. But we are gearing up because it is the lovely month of May.
That's right, this is this is a jam packed month. Yeah,
we're doing a lot of work, mostly because my stupid ass is going to
Ireland. Is he so often reminds us I'll be an Island from the about
the twentieth to the first of June. So uh, if you're in Ireland
at that time, you got to you gotta date that's free or one of
those days. Please email us. Please let me know if you want to
meet up and grab a drink and just chit chat. Please also don't please
also let us know if you're in Ireland and don't want to be If you
don't let us know, no, I'll be there. I want to see.
That would be so great. I would get a big kick out of
it. And if you're in Chicago ever, uh, I'll be visiting neighborhood
bars and um hanging out so well you know, well uh And if you're
in Milwaukee or anywhere near on June sixth, that's right, come see us
at our our little booth where we'll be pedlin Er. Yeah, Milwaukee para
con Can they handle us? Probably not? Are they gonna be irritated by
us? Maybe? Yeah. Lynda Godfrey is going to be there, sweetly
fun. She she's written some good stuff. The erotic band fiction there,
maybe the Werewolf that that's in Wisconsin. We haven't gotten to it yet,
but maybe we can no, no, no, different thing. You're a
different thing, the beast of bray Road. I think sweet. But maybe
we can maybe we can talk to I don't know how much we're gonna actually
get to partake of the conference. Well, we'll do what we can.
Yeah, we're gonna be manning the booth and maybe we'll be able to get
food. I don't know. Yeah, we'll have a cooler full of sandwiches
and beer. But anyways, that's what you should do. Come see us
there, blah blah blah. That's great. Were just sitting at a table
eating bremate sandwiches in drinking beer. This guy's got a question. Do you
want to explore that explained? Come ahead, you want to do it with
some brie, jerky turkey and gooda turkey, brie, sandwich, turkey,
it's all the choice. Spinach, all right, but that's not what you're
here for. We're done with that. Ye, Time to check out an
aeronautical mystery. I've got, I've got I've got a good setup for the
FBI dealer. Yeah. In nineteen seventy one, one man decided that he
would commit the crime of the century. Did he take a ton of money?
Pretty good amount. Did he set off a ton of explosions? No,
no he didn't. Was he completely a lunatic that's screened at people?
No, he was rather polite. But what he did do is skydive into
our hearts. Is the story of dB Cooper. Yes, Dan Cooper.
Dan Cooper is dB Cooper is John Doe in a Federal zero of Investigations production
Skydive. Why yeah, dB Cooper. If you've never heard of him,
which is it feels weird to say this, but we'll get to why.
dB slash Dan Cooper was a guy who in nineteen seventy one hijacked an airplane,
took some hostages, said he had a bomb. Flora take it from
there. Yeah, I don't want to steal all the fun facts. Between
Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington. He grabbed control of this plane,
demanded a two hundred thousand dollars ransom and four parachutes, and then upon receipt,
he had the plane takeoff from Mexico. Yeah. And this is pre
this is pre Reagan times where where it was a wild West. Yeah,
where if you if you demand a ransom, I guess, I guess.
Back in seventy one you just got it. They were like, here you
go. It worked pre Reagan times forwards America, Ye, Nixon in Nixon's
America. I don't give a shit all of them. Somewhere over southwest Washington,
he apparently jumped out of the plane and vanished forever. Nobody or parachute
was ever found, which makes this one of the FBI's hottest cold cases of
all time. It's also the it was a dirty deed and he did it
dirt cheap. He sure did those cigarettes that tie. That's right, we'll
get to it. Um. Yeah. Also the only unsolved case of of
air piracy or hijacking in US history. How about that? Yeah, so
he he got the money, he jumped out the airplane, he took the
money and ran and was never heard from again. Yeah. So let's uh,
let's dive into the let's let's dive into the with a dummy. Shoot
into a detail. They called me on and yeah, I still love him.
Moment to a detailed timeline of the events of November twenty fourth, nineteen
seventy one, the night before Thanksgiving thanks Giving, right, yeah, Thanksgiving
Eve or thanks Give. Yeah, it was thanks Give, thank give.
Shoot me some of this info I have to mention comes from history link dot
org in an article by Catherine Beck Thank You. On the afternoon of November
twenty fourth, nineteen seventy one, a man approached the counter of Northwest Orient
Airlines in the Portland, Oregon Airport, calling himself Dan Cooper. He bought
a one way ticket to Seattle, Washington on flight three oh five for how
much. Total ticket price was twenty dollars. I'd paid in cash just before
they stopped boarding the plane, and after he had confirmed the aircraft was a
Boeing S twenty seven. The trip would take thirty minutes aboard a Boeing seven
twenty seven Dash one hundred. He boarded the plane, which was only about
a third fool, with thirty six other passengers, and took a seat in
the very back. He wore a dark suit, in some accounts burgundy colored
nice, a white collared shirt, black necktie with a mother of pearl tie
pin, loafers, and a black raincoat. He also carried a black attache
case also known as a briefcase in some corners of the world, and once
seated, he lit a Raleigh brand cigarette and ordered a bourbon with Depending on
the source either seven up or water. I had better up in water?
Why bourbon and seven up? Blow yourself up? You know it's better than
you think. I've never had it. It's better than you think. It's.
My preference is to straight up coke to mix with if you're gonna mix.
But I'm I'm a Rocks guy. That's how, That's how the Good
Lord made me. Yeah, Rocks Rocks is good, but it's it's akin
to like a seven and seven. Never had that either. Well, Well,
how do you, uh, how do you the listener? How do
you take your bourbon? Lana? We already know. I'm sure that hardly
takes it. It is a weird combination. You don't think of tan liquor
and clear soda. Yeah, I have a Sierra mist with with my with
my my my Johnny Walker please hm hmm, No you're not. I'm not
a big scotchman. I used to know a guy who loved to um.
I think they're there are some some UK cookie call like a Tim Tam.
He'd bite the ends off and suck bush mills through it and then eat the
cookie, use it like it was like a chocolate coated cookie. He'd bite
the ends off and make it in kind of like a straw. He'd sucked
bushmills into it. Wow, and they eat it. Wow. I still
feel like it's the best way to ruin. Both agreed, Yeah, agreed.
Once the flight had taken off at two fifty PM, Cooper gave a
note to one of the stewardesses, I love this part named Florence Schaffner.
Who Chaffner schafter, who proceeded to assume it was some kind of flirtation towards
her and just dropped it in her purse. When Cooper saw this, he
said this, you better have a look on that note on a kata.
It's being a motherfucking bomb. Hey, you're right. She did, and
apparently it said I have a bomb in my briefcase. I will use it
if necessary. I want you to sit next to me. You are being
hijacked wink emoji. She sat down then and asked if he was kidding,
to which replied only by opening the case and showing her a mess of wires,
red sticks of dynamite and a flashlight battery. Yeah maybe dynamite, yeah,
what appeared to be. He then told her what he wanted two hundred
thousand dollars in quote negotiable American currency, quote, four parachutes to primary to
reserve or of two fronts, two backs, and a fuel truck standing by
in Seattle to refuel the aircraft upon arrival. He also asked for mules for
the flight crew and ended his demands with the threat no funny stuff or I'll
do the job, sir. She then went to the cockpit to deliver the
message to the pilots, who then radioed the situation to the Seattle Tacoma Airport
control tower, who then told local and federal authorities, who then pied all
of it, going to say prepared a shcher panties. The airline's president authorized
payment of the ransom and told the pilot to cooperate fully with Cooper because the
FBI needed time to gather the requested items. The pilot was forced to circle
the Puget Sound for almost three hours, right, which was interesting because our
buddy mister Cooper kind of looked out the window and was like, Oh,
is that Tacoma right there? But which is interesting because think about this,
who recognizes a city from flying over it. It's not easy, It's not
easy, It's doable. Yeah, I think, but it's not easy.
All these all these little details come back because this is the most scrutinized thing
on earth. Every little detail has been mined for data or clues or interest.
The passengers were apparently told there was a mechanical problem requiring the pilot to
burn off some fuel. Burn it, burn it all, to which I
hope all the passengers were like you what, b Yeah, burn off fuel,
Okay. While Shaffner was in the cockpit, Cooper put on a pair
of dark sunglasses and had another stewardess, Tina Mucklow, set next to him.
He gave her a cigarette, asked where she was from, which was
Minnesota. He said that was a nice place. At one point he looked
out the window, like you said, said, as like the girl went
down there. He also mentioned that McCord Air Force Base was only a twenty
minute drive from the Stack Airport. I'd love it if he was just rattling
this random shift off. That's what it sounds like he was doing well,
because it is the only part that they wrote down, is it, you
know? Substantial? Both stewardesses described him as calm and polite. Mucklow said
later quote he wasn't nervous. He seemed rather nice. He was never cruel
or nasty. He was thoughtful and calm all the time. End quote.
Apparently, Mucklow asked him if he had a grudge against Northwest Orient, an
airline that had recently had strikes and labor troubles, and he told her,
I don't have a grudge against your airline, miss, I just have a
grudge womb. After a second bourbon, he paid his drink tab and continued
smoking, told her to keep the change. I like that. Yeah.
Yeah, really was insistent on tipping the flight crew, to which most of
them said no things. I don't watch your hijack money hijacker. Meanwhile,
on the ground, the FBI gathered ten thousand unmarked twenties with non sequential serial
numbers that had been recorded on microfiche previously, which is a hell of a
maneuver to get that done that quickly. Yeah. I get the idea from
from this one account that I read that the bank or banks that they got
the money from had already done the micro fish, although some accounts definitely make
it seem like they all took pictures as they put him in the little bands.
The four parachutes were also gathered and snipers were placed around the airport as
the flight was told it was okay to land. Finally, at five thirty
nine PM on the ground, Cooper had Mucklow retrieved the money and the shoots
from outside the plane and return them to him. Fuel trucks came to refuel
the plane, and authorities tried to stall by saying it was too cold to
refuel, which Cooper didn't buy. I'd be happy to warm things up with
the damn bob. In total, three tankers were used to refuel apparently Yeah.
Cooper, getting a little impatient, used the cabin phone to call the
cockpit and demand they, quote unquote get the show on the road. Well,
he's got things to do right. Once refueled, he let all passengers
and crew off except Mucklow, the pilot, the copilot, and the engineer.
He then discussed the next steps with them. They were going to fly
him to Mexico City at the minimum air speed possible without stalling the aircraft.
That was approximately one hundred knots, which is about one hundred twenty miles per
hour or one hundred ninety kilometers per hour, and at a very specific altitude.
Yeah, it couldn't fly higher than ten thousand feet, an altitude at
which the cabin would not be pressurized. They also had to fly with the
landing gear down and the wing flaps lowered fifteen degrees. He also wanted the
plane to take off and fly with the aft stairs down. This this this
particular plane, and this is a big point for this thing. Had you
could you could actually had a row of stairs that just folded right out of
the tail section, out the butt, straight out the butt, yep.
And then they had three big engines mounted above that ye kind of on the
tail, which, yeah, that's a that comes in to play. And
the crew objected to the aft stairs on the grounds that it was unsafe,
which he denied. But it's fine, it's fine, you know what,
Fine, you know what. You just do what you do and I'll just
I'll take care of it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
I love that. There was a fair amount of like discussion and negotiation
about how these things would go. Yeah, it does seem very civil.
He decided he just opened it in the air. But the copilot also said
the plane's range was only a thousand miles, so they would have to refuel
a couple of times before they got to Old Mehiki. Cooper agreed to refueling
in Reno, Nevada, and you met Arizona. When the crew said they
needed to file the flight plan, Cooper, becoming more impatient, told him
to do it later, that let's get this thing about the ground. What
part of by the book do you think this plane is going by? Then
took off again at seven forty pm. Two F one oh six fighter jets
were dispatched to shadow the plane, as was a Lockheed T thirty three jet
and later a couple more aircraft. Yeah, the T thirty three was kind
of it was a training jet and it actually never even made visual contact.
They were like, hey, you go over here, Well we're out of
fuel. Well yeah it was. It was already on a mission, apparently
a training mission, and they were like, ah, why don't you just
go check this situation now, be a part of it. Yeah, and
it wasn't. Yeah T bird. Now what's important is those those two aircraft
the Team one oh six is yeah, darts. They were dealt to darts.
They were positioned above and below the aircraft at a distance so that they
couldn't be seen from the cockpit. They were not They weren't visible, so
they were in a little bit of a distance and kind of just keeping an
eye on it, Yeah, which proved difficult because the darkness the bad weather
combined for terrible visibility, not to mention the slow speed, which caused the
jets to have to perform figure eights to follow at all. Yeah, it's
kind of a brilliant trick if you want to off some fighter jets, Yeah,
go too slow for him. And it was definitely like some accounts say
it was just heavy thunderstorms in the area. Some are just you know,
rains, there's a little bit of a range, but all of them say
it's bad weather one way or another. It's cloudy, it's rainy, it's
not cool. Since Cooper needed to secure the money bag to himself, he
opened one of the front shoots, one of the reserve shoots, and used
a pocket knife to cut lines, which he then used to make a handle
on the money bag. He told Mucklow he'd need her to lower the aft
stairs for him. She was worried she'd be sucked out of the plane and
asked that she'd be allowed to tie something to herself with more of the rope
than the parachute. Cooper said never mind, and asked her to show him
how to lower the stairs himself. I'm probably much more gruff than he was
apparently. Yeah, he seemed to be a pretty pretty all right all right,
man, take it easy, chick. Now, there's an interesting fact
here that like that that he has asked her to show him how to lower
the stairs. But it turns out that this this seven twenty seven, had
a couple of weird anomalies regarding these stairs. First of all, the fact
that lowering the stairs couldn't be overrided from the cockpit, which is which I
mean, if you're going to pick an aircraft, and he clearly picked this
aircraft. Yeah, you know, I I suspect he may have known how
to lower those stairs. Yeah, it seems that way, you know,
like he yeah, since they were so integral to his plan, and he
confirmed it apparently when when biding the ticket, So she she explained it to
him how to do the stairs, and then mentioned where to find oxygen if
if needed to, which he apparently already knew its location, which was also
low suspect he told her to return to the cockpit and stay there to close
the first class curtains behind. The last she saw of him was him tying
the money around his waist. At eight PM, a warning light in the
cockpit indicated the aft stairs had been activated. The co pilot called back to
the cabin to ask if Cooper needed help. Cooper picked up the intercomm and
answered nom. Around eight ten PM, the copilot again called and asked if
everything was okay, to which Cooper responded that it was, and at eight
thirteen PM, the crew felt a sudden upward movement in the tail section enough
to warrant some flight trimming to bring the plane level Again, the copilot again
called back, but this time new response. The plane landed in Reno at
ten fifteen pm with the aft stairs still down, and FBI agents boarded and
searched the plane and confirmed Cooper was gaw gun. Never gonna see him again
spoilers. So that's that's that story. You you want to hear a little
of the aftermath of that, Well, there wasn't any. Thank you so
much for listening. I'm lying. There was so much aftermath. There was.
There was more math after than before. That's how much aftermath there was
so FBI agents found Cooper had left his tie, which was a cheap clip
on from J. C. Penny. Also the imitation the Taie Pan,
which was an imitation Mother of Pearl, not even the real deal goddess.
And two parachutes, one front and one back, one of which he had
cut up. Yeah, which is which is kind of funny because it turns
out of these parachutes they were um when they first brought him parachutes. They
brought him military parachutes, and he was like, no, I want civilian
parachutes, like for sports. So they were like, so they went to
a near skydaiming school, grabbed some shoots and came back. Now they were
in such a hurry. Now they swear up and down that this was not
on purpose, because the number of shoots that he took indicated that he'd be
jumping with someone else. Right, But they gave him a dummy shoot.
It was used just for training. It didn't actually have it was the part
that was supposed to open up to deploy. The shoot was some shut.
It wasn't a real parachute. Yeah, And it was the other Front Reserve
shoot and it was it was clearly labeled as such, and yet it's the
one he took, right, but which I think I'll bet you there was
like a dope a little bit where he had cut one parachute apart to get
get to the courting so he could make his handle, and then realized that
he'd just destroyed the only functioning backup shoot. Yeah. Yeah, and apparently
took the military shoot anyway. Really, I didn't hear that. Yeah,
that's that's what I that's the in the accounts that I rad. He just
he went on and took the military shoot. But oh no, no,
no, that's not true. And I'll tell you why. Because there was
two shoots that he was given. One was a newer, better sportier version.
One was kind of an older, outdated one. So yeah, so
they gave him of the two primary shoots, he actually chose the older,
slightly more outdated one, which wasn't a military shoot. No, they were
both like civilian skydiving shoots. One was newer, like super fancy probably you
know for people who like gogurt. Yeah, and the other one was your
grandpaus sports shoot. I don't know, anyway, So he took that one
and left the better shoot on the plane right, fingerprints were lifted and people
were interviewed. You know, all the teas were crossed in lower case chase
were dotted. Authorities were dispatched to numerous areas in Washington to search for him.
While it was very difficult to guess exactly where he may have landed due
to all I don't know aircraft speed, weather, altitude, shoot employment,
type of shoot used, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. The first area searched
was a few miles southeast of Ariel, Washington, which was at the time
the most intensive man hunt search in US history. Like, they they brought
out everything they could. And the way that I read this, and this
was kind of tragically hilarious, is that they were they were conducting the search.
At one point they did find a skeleton, yeah, and it was
like, oh, but it turned out it was just a teenage girl that
had been abducted and murdered. And then the next sentence is like, but
the search continued to find dB Cooper. Yeah, and they just like paved
over that real ard. Yeah, and I feel bad about that, geez.
The area they were searching was also south of Mount Saint Helen's near Lake
Merwin. They looked framed by foot, by chopper, by boat certainly probably
hounds hounds, but no trace of Cooper or shoot or money was found.
The area is densely packed with forests, so even a good effort might miss
a folded shoot in the trees. Yeah, and it's important to point out
that. So this guy, he jumped out of an airplane with having the
best loosely approximate idea of where he was. Yeah, there's no way for
him to have planned that, you know, you You seems that way at
night during a storm into dense forests which on maybe mountainous terrain. Yeah,
which is just the best way in the world to get tree stabbed I can
think of, Yeah, to get nature killed. Yeah, exactly, double
nature killed. But we'll get to that. We'll get to that. Interviews
of those in contact with Coop with Cooper described him as being between five ten
and six feet tall, around one hundred and seventy one hundred and eighty pounds,
mid forties, with an olive complexion, close set, piercing brown eyes,
and wave a dark hair dreamy. He was also believed to be left
handed oom South Park coming out of coming out of Tacoma, Washington. One
immediate suspect was an Oregon man named dB Cooper who had a minor police record
already. When they grabbed him talk to him a little bit. He was
quickly ruled out as a suspect. The reason he was a suspect as they
were like, I don't know, maybe he's too dumb to change his name.
The media quickly jumped on the story, and in the haste to break
it. To break the story, one reporter used dB Cooper as the hijacker's
name, and thus the name dB Cooper stuck, even though Cooper never called
himself anything other than Dan yep, just he was always Dan Cooper to them
as he was threatened in to blow up sometimes Coop Coop if you knew him
real wayper Loop Cooper Loop if you want to get punched or blowed up.
Sears has continued with some falsil arms here and there, kind of like the
skeleton case. Yeah, that was and then and in addition to that,
there was a fair amount of of scammery. People would think, you know,
they would talk about the serial numbers on the money. Yeah, people
would bring in what they thought, you know, like a lot of close
calls but nothing. Or counterfeit yep, counterfeit. Yeah. One guy,
one guy scammed thirty thousand dollars out of Newsweek with a counterfeit bills. And
they're like, well, yeah, i'll give you the exclusive interview, but
it's going to cost you seventies right, oh man, And there's there's there's
a fact about nine seventy one that I cannot wait to share with you.
Okay, we'll get there, we'll get there. Nothing certain ever turned up
until nineteen seventy eight, when a plastic placard with aft stair instructions was found
by a hunter thirteen miles east of Castle Rock, Washington or Castily Rock.
And his name was actually dB Lanister. That's right, He just needed to
pay his debts. Jesus all right. It was presumed have been torn off
the seven twenty seven by the wind. So yes, it was part of
the hijacked plane. Yeah. In nineteen eighty nothing interesting happened, certainly not
on a bend in the river. No, So moving on, this is
the single best, most mind blowing clue of the whole thing. Yeah,
I agree. An eight year old boy named Brian Ingram was digging in the
sand along the Columbia River, which was about nine miles downstream of Vancouver,
Washington. It's northwest of Vancouver. For being downstream because it flows, I
thought you meant that Vancouver, Washington was somehow northwest of Vancouver, Canada.
And I was like, well, that's that's in the water. That's that
didn't work. They're gonna work the floating island of Vancouver. No. Um
America's island fortress Vancouver, Washington, lonely sentinel against the aggression of Canada,
holding out in Canada since um No, it's yeah, it's it's the rate.
The way that you know, because of the Continental Divide, the river's
flowing towards the Pacific Ocean, it bends around Vancouver going west and then north.
So there's a north, there's a west, and then a north bend.
And just after that bend, just a little northwest of Vancouver, is
where this kid dug up three bundles of twenty dollars bills totaling fifty eight hundred
dollars. Although severely disintegrated, they were still in rubber bands and the serial
numbers were still visible. It's eight years later. Yeah, the money was
reported to the authorities and it was confirmed to be part of the ransom two
hundred and ninety twenties. For some reason, ten of them were missing.
Yeah, and here's some some other interesting facts. Keep in mind that they
were missing, but the rubber bands were intact. They were also in the
exact order that they were placed in at the bank before they were delivered,
so ostensibly untouched. Yeah, experts decided that money had been washed downstream in
the river. It was the way it was disintegrated. It was rounded.
Is imagine these twenty dollar bills are now like elongated ovals, as though the
bundles had been tumbling. Yeah, And you can look up pictures online of
these things. It's really interesting because a lot of them look burned. Don't
they look burned? Yeah? Yeah, and I wonder if that's like a
mold or something that was on the Yeah. I know that a few of
them. The money was eventually split between Brian and the insurance company for the
airline, and he auctioned a few of them all off in two thousand and
eight, two thousand and nine. I think got a pretty good amount of
money, Yeah, thou of thousands. Yeah, But before it was split.
I think the the FBI kept like fourteen of them or something for evidence
and tracking. And yeah, but nobody knows what happened to the ten missing
bills in there. Everything looked so pristine and together, but there were just
ten that were gone. We can we can talk about that later once we
get through most of the stuff. But that was that was a weird anomaly
that didn't lead didn't lend credence to just dropping in the water and washing downstream,
right, And man, I mean they hired they got hydrologists from the
Army Corps of Engineers. They have hired everyone you can think of to look
at this. And that's why we keep dropping these these seemingly unimportant facts because
they all come back. They all come back to to create this picture of
what the FBI has and which is interesting because um and I don't think officially,
but like the FBI, their their line has always been that guy's shoot
never even opened. Yeah, that guy died. He died that night.
He jumped out of an airplane and and buried himself in the ground. That's
yeah, and that's that's a good segment to what happened to him. Yeah,
the the FBI is just for lack of of of better evidence he vanished
because he did. He's somewhere either eaten by bears or eaten by fish in
a river, or eaten by trees in a forest. Like he's dead.
He he took this, uh, the less cool shoot right, which was
apparently harder to control than than the newer, sleeker mountain dewer version, and
the reserve that he had was so own shut so couldn't have worked if it
had to, Yeah, also had to. Also, he was in a
suit and loafers, jumping into pitch black bad weather at two hundred miles per
hour winds, which is minus fifty seven degrees fahrenheit with the wind chill.
Yeah, yeah, and no helmet. He didn't ask for a helmet.
So either he jumped into this and immediately froze and died, or he jumped
and his huge, gigantic balls got in the way and he couldn't deploy the
shoot. Yeah, I mean, I mean that is and I've I've been
in fifty seven below, I've been in that cold. It is no joke.
Your eyes his eyes would freeze shut, he would he would lose control
of his hands quickly. I mean thirty forty five seconds, maybe longer than
he I mean, shorter than he'd be in free fall. The odds of
him being able to still function would require a lot of advance. But I'm
not saying it's impossible. But he didn't have gloves, he didn't have anything
covering his head or his eyes. I'd like to come back to that too.
Yeah, that would be I mean, that would be just even regular
under best of circumstances, skydivers, you wear goggles to protect your eyes just
from the blast of the air, you know, And he had sunglasses,
he had dark glasses. Is that a good idea, I don't know,
it's a cool idea. So, yeah, it looked great doing it there.
And this this kind of factors into this, this profile of Dan Cooper.
Yeah, it kind of indicates a lack of skydiving knowledge. Yeah,
because at first they were they were like, oh, no, this guy
knows what he's doing, he knows aircraft, he knows how to skydive.
We're looking for perhaps an next military guy we're looking and then over time they're
like, you know what, No, no, this guy didn't know ship
about skydiving, because he would never have done this way Yeah, he wouldn't
have done it at all if he knew what he was doing. Like they
came to believe that it took a special brand of ignorance to come up with
this plan and decide it was the way to go. And keep in mind,
he's also jumping over these dense forests and hilly at least hilly or or
maybe even mountainous terrain at night. Yeah, nature stabbed all over. And
even if he managed to land in one piece and not frozen to death,
he'd still have to survive in the wilderness and not get caught or rouse suspicion.
Right, he has I don't know, maybe he ate a big breakfast
or something. But you can't get over the fact that you were urban dropping
yourself in the middle of the woods. Assume some injury, yeah, you
know, frost bite, remember, but numb hands, you know, like
something is wrong with him when he lands, and then he's got to get
out quickly and yeah, and have nobody noticed. No one's gonna worry about
the the hitchhiking guy, right, So, so what happened to Cooper,
Well, that's that's the first thing on the list. He died or maybe
he lived and escaped to Canada or South America. Maybe perhaps he did.
And there's this is there's an important point here. With the exception of the
bills found in the river, never has one single bill of that money ever
surfaced. Yeah, they've never that they knew of it all. And these
things are continuously tracked, you know, like serial numbers are checked in and
they're checked you know. Uh, particularly in places like Vegas, in banks,
things like this, uh, and in Vegas will come up. There
was a there's a theory about one guy that he did it, got away
with it, went to Vegas and lost it all. It would have shown
up, yeah, usually even in Casino ara of Vegas. There's a there's
a theory that he went to Panama because apparently panamall you can spend American money
and and yes, it's it's the Wild West for money. I don't know,
that's that's one thing I read. I don't know if that's that's confirmed
quite or not. But you know, one theory, right, he could
have also lived and then went on to try a similar hijacking but then got
caught. Right, yep, there's one guy. The other thing that there
was another I mean, here's the other thing. And this is my fun
fact about in nineteen seventy two. I think I said seventy one before I
meant seventy two. There were in the United States thirty one hijackings in nineteen
seventy two, thirty fucking one hijackings, and in seventy two alone, Yeah,
more than two hijackings a month. And it's because successful, yeah,
all unsuccessful. Uh. And then I mean, man, after this,
the copycats coming out of the woodwork, all busted for various reasons nuts,
um, but because there was no airport security. Now, I know what
you're gonna say. We all love the TSA. We're all so glad they're
doing that job and protecting us from and have a smile in the face.
Well right, and so very polite about it. The TSA too far in
one direction, nineteen seventy two, too far in the other. If you
could physically get your body onto an airplane, you passed airport security, no
one's looking at anything, and so they and this was this, the nineteen
seventy two is the big bell weather for metal detectors for security sweeps, and
it dropped that camber instantly. Yeah, I mean they just had to be
some security, any security. And I remember as a kid, you could
you could, you know, wander through security and you would always go to
the gate to meet family who was flying into town, you know. But
yeah, there was zero security. I can't emphasize this enough. One guy
hijacked an airplane with an unloaded handgun and a paperweight which was like a deactivated
grenade. I mean, like, I don't know why why only thirty one
when guy took over a plane with just a disarming smile. Hello. I
mean, I've got a few names here if you want. Yeah, I
hit him. Garrett Brock trap nail took a tw airliner going from Los Angeles
to New York, demanded a bunch of cash and uh apparently the release of
a woman. Also wanted to meet with Nixon. Yeah, and I want
to meet the Nixon. When when they landed, he was shot and wounded
and then arrested. Yep. Richard McCoy junior, the real Richard McCoy will
come back to him hijacked a United Airlines seven twenty seven in April, asked
for five hundred thousand and ransom money. Got it, got it. They
all got the money and then was arrested. No one of these people.
They were like, here's your money. Frederick Hanneman used a handgun to hija
to hijack and made it to Honduras. Yeah, parachuted into Honduras and the
FBI had a bounty on his head. He surrendered. Yeah, he gave
himself up to the American embassy. Love that. How about Rob Nolan Hetty,
Yeah, what did he do. He was a paratrooper in Vietnam,
veteran, and he decided to jump on board a United Airline seven twenty seven
in Reno. Noticed that a lot of these guys still preferred the seven twenty
seven seven twenty seven out west. He got two hundred thousand dollars, a
couple of parachutes, and also parachuted into darkness. I mean this guy actually
was recreating it as best he could, just wasn't in the Pacific Northwest because
he knew what he was doing. Right. The problem is this Hetty Hetty's
car. He parachuted near Washoe Lake. The cops were like, oh,
well he parachuted in your Washow Lake. Let's go check that area. Hey,
there's a card here with a United States parachute Association, bumper sticker,
maybe we should hang out here. And then they just arrested him when he
showed up at his car. And that lead brings us to how about Martin
McNally. He was an unemployed, unemployed guy, it says here, unemployed
service station attendant. Yeah, how do you as though he So he got
out of the industry? Did he get out of the game? But he
still had a lot of contacts in the industry. Maybe they just weren't paying
him. Yeah, he used a submachine gun, walked onto an airplane with
a fin submachine gun and the same thing, got got a half million in
cash, bailed out, lost the money, and was arrested a few days
later. Whampwomph Wow. So yeah, fifteen fifteen attempted hijackings to duplicate Cooper's
maneuver, the Cooper maneuver. I mean, if one hijacking happens anywhere on
the planet, it is a worldwide phenomenon and everyone can do nothing but pay
attention to it. Thirty one in the United States alone. Yeah, and
of these thirty one, they were most of them were copycats, right,
They were trying to do what this guy did. There were um let me
let me see here, I made a notice that I'm gonna save you from
our litigious listeners. Fifteen, not quite half of them, you said most.
And I know if someone's going to string you up on that, I'm
not gonna let that happen to you, because we're brothers, brothers, two
brothers. But but you gotta look at it, fighting old ladies, because
because all cats, the moon is crashing into the earth. It's two brothers,
just called two brothers. Had here's here's a fun fact for your clip
and save this. When there had been more than one hundred skyjackings since nineteen
sixty eight, Jesus, all them air pirates are I know, air piracy
isn't that nuts? I mean, it is, it is, it isn't
I mean, it's all I mean. I love that the FBI caught them
all. Yeah, they all got busted except for except for Cooper, who
probably busted himself. Um, let's go through the brief list of suspects here.
Since nineteen seventy one, there have been over a thousand credible suspects processed
by the FBI. Among these are a majority of idiots and attention whores,
along with a handful of interesting but ultimately unconfirmed possible Coopers. We're gonna start
with Richard McCoy, the real, Yeah, thank you, Army vet two
tours and Nam demolition expert and helicopter pilot and a member of the A team,
avid skydiver. Yeah, although he had to be drugged to get on
the helicopter and flight, I say, giving that money fool. Staged a
copycat hijacking as we as we told you, got caught, got arrested,
convicted, then he escaped from jail. He was found and killed in a
shootout. He had a movie life. His life was a movie. Would
not confirm or deny he was Cooper, but his age of twenty nine isn't
consistent with the mid forties of Cooper's description, and he seemed to have a
better understanding of skydiving than Cooper did. Also, he was in Las Vegas
that day. Oh well, that's gonna be a problem. Sorry the real
you're the fake? Oh sick burn bro. Thanks, thanks, I've been
working on it. Here's a fun one. How about Barbara Dayton? Oh
bad. Barbara Dayton was a recreational pilot who was born Robert Dayton. Yeah,
he was in World War two and wanted to be wanted to work in
the airlines professionally, but couldn't get a pilot's license, and Dayton went in
nineteen sixty nine gender reassignment surgery. Wow, hell of a maneuver for the
time. For the time. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's a hell
of maneuver. Now everyone talks about the Bruce Jenner interview all damned week,
So you haven't come in that far. Just imagine the techniques are better changed
and changed her name to Barbara. She planed is what I like about this,
claimed to have staged the hijacking disguised as a dude to get back at
the airline industry because she was mad that they wouldn't let her be a pilot.
She said that she hid the ransom money in a cistern near where she
landed south of Portland. But then she says, the way it's written here.
Eventually she recanted her entire story, ostensibly after learning that she could still
be charged with it. That's funny. Yeah, they have a whole thing
about the Statute of limitations on this. Oh that was yeah, Yeah,
they ruled that. No, dude, if you get caught, your ass
is going to jail. Yeah, because they were worried about the statuete that
whoever did this is just laying low. So they pulled this really kind of
weird legal maneuver where they indicted John Doe aka Dan Cooper. And once you've
once you've indicted someone, you can proceed with the criminal investigation at any point
in the future. So they opened an indictment without a suspect. Yeah,
but just by name, so that there would never be a question of statute
of limitations. This guy couldn't wait, you know, twenty years quietly to
be like, hey everybody, Yeah, here's momoney. Yeah, I did
it. Look at my tattoos, big tattoos, says I did it across
his chest. I am dB Cooper. Pretty pretty slick move. Judicial system.
Yeah, who else you got? I've got Ken Christensen. Sounds like
an upstanding guy. He was maybe posthumously tabbed as Cooper by his brother Lyle
after Lyle watched a two thousand and three documentary Lion. Lyle Lyle Ken was
a trained Army paratrooper employed by Northwest Orient Airlines in nineteen fifty four as a
mechanic, then a steward, then a purser in Seattle. Do you know
what a purser is? It's the guy on the airplane that's in chargeable all
the money. Really, yeah, I think so, Oh, I might
be thinking of a burser. None of this sounds real. He's got a
serious face. But I know, hold on, hold on, no,
no, you know what. It's a jerser, That's what I'm saying.
Oh no, it's because I'm looking at my laptop's cursor. That's what I
was thinking of. A ship's purser is the person on a ship responsible for
handling of money on board. But wait, now, I don't know if
there is such a thing as a burser. It's the guy that kicks everybody's
kneecaps because of the bursa. Thank you, dark leman. You're with me
on that one, right, Oh, a professional financial administrator in a school
or university. Jesus terms, who Look who's doing things the lamest gloat of
all time. Look who's doing things? I know who's purser and burser.
In other words, that rhyme, I know worser. So he was all
these things based eventually out of Seattle. And the thing is he was shorter
and thinner than Cooper though, but he did smoke. He lacked bourbon,
and he was left handed seventy two. Everyone smoked in like bourbon, okay.
Apparently he purchased a house with cash shortly after the hijacking, and then
while he was dying of cancer in nineteen ninety four, he told Lyle,
there's something you should know, but I cannot tell you. Dick move,
dick, yeah, dick move. If you're dying, don't do like that,
according to an article by Yeah I must. According to an article by
Jeffrey Gray in New York Magazine. After Christensen's death, family members discovered gold
coins and a valuable stamp collection stamp collection, along with over two hundred thousand
dollars in bank accounts. They also found a folder of Northwest Orient news clippings,
which began about the time he was hired in the fifties and stopped just
prior to the date of the hijacking. Despite the fact that the hijacking was
by far the most momentous news vent in the airline's history, Christensen continued to
work part time for the airline for many years after nineteen seventy one, but
apparently he never clipped another Northwest news story, not with those scissors, not
with that grunge. What else you got? How about William Gossett? Who
William the Pratt gossip? Was he an iron Eagle Iron eagles is uh Lewis?
Yeah, but no, because he couldn't be his son Lewis, because
Lewis Gossett was. JU ruled that one out. Yeah, nice job,
agent, William Pratt was. He was in the Marines and the Army,
and he was an Army Air Force veteran and fought in Vietnam, Korea.
And of course he knew. He had advanced jump training, wilderness survival everything.
Yeah. He retired in seventy three and like any any like just like
you and I, you know, ex military, exceptionally trained, knows everything
about combat jumps and wilderness survival. So he hosted a radio talk show about
the paranormal. Yeah, just like us. And he was known to be
obsessed with the Cooper hijacking. Hmm, Well that doesn't prove that he was
Cooper though. Well. Um. He said that he knew enough that he
could have written the epitaph for dB Cooper, which is interesting, and that
he used the phrase dB Cooper and Dan Cooper. Yeah, and later in
life he told his sons that he would he done did it, that it
was him, Okay, okay, Dad, Yeah, uh huh yeah sure.
And then according to Galen Cook, who was the lawyer who was collecting
information related to Gosset, Gosset once showed his son's a key to a Vancouver,
British Columbia safe deposit bo which he said contained all the ransom money.
Now, Gossett's oldest son said that his tad was a compulsive gambler who never
had any money, and at one point, just before Christmas nineteen seventy one,
right when you know, right after this happened, showed it just had
tons and tons of cash on hand. He thinks that Gosset gambled it all
the way, that if he did it, that he took all that money
to Vegas and it's all gone yet not tracked. Right, there's a few
things that don't quite add up, with a few bundles left in the Columbia
River right drop those that throw off the dogs, well that or somebody theorizes
maybe they flew out while he was getting ready to jump or something. But
yeah, and ultimately the FBI can't even place him in the Pacific Northwest at
the time this happened. And aside from his own statements that they're like,
we've got nothing actually linking him to this, which leads us to maybe our
best possibility and a really late in the game entry into the field of suspects.
How about Lynn Doyle Cooper LD Cooper LDDB. He was a leather worker.
He fought in the Korean warming stupid leather working DELDD. Big Cooper,
and he became a suspect in twenty eleven, just four years ago. Because
she remember when she was a little girl, her this is the niece,
the niece. Yeah, her uncle and another uncle were planning something quote very
mischievous. They were using walkie talkies and at her grandmother's house in Sisters,
Oregon, which is one hundred fifty miles away from from Portland. And the
next day, the next day, that flight was hijacked. The two uncles
went out quote unquote turkey hunting. Ld Cooper came home wearing a bloody shirt
that he said there was a result of an auto accident, but he was
all sorts of duck but happy. Yeah. She also remembered that her uncle
was obsessed with a Canadian comic book hero Dan Cooper and even had one of
them thumbtack to his wall. She gave the FBI a guitar strap that he
was wearing in a photograph she had of him that he kind of looked like
the sketches they weren't able to The FBI weren't able to pull any fingerprints off
of it. And it's amazing the amount of work that they did. I
mean, they've pulled three different DNA samples off the neck tie that they got,
which again doesn't mean that it's his DNA, they just found it,
but I mean the amount of scrutiny that they've put into these things. So
anyway, Lynn Doyle Cooper l D. Cooper pretty you know, he was
in the right place at the right time. A lot of that story kind
of matches up, and he ended up kind of like he was always kind
of like they're the weird old uncle. He lived off by himself. And
even even the niece who's telling the story, she saying her dad would kind
of miss his long lost brother, but they believe he did it. How
do you how do you pull a job like that? And then not get
to spend it, right, you know, And that's that's the thing,
you know, you there, there really is no way to spend it where
it doesn't show up somewhere, because otherwise, what have you done? Yeah?
Unless maybe Panama? Right, Yeah, you're not gonna fly to Panama
on Yeah you could. But even then unless you're you're you've you've got enough
money to get the ticket with non traceable funds, you know, like there's
and then you buy a bunch of plantains and fly back what like? Yeah,
what do you what do you do at that point? Yeah? And
I and there are some people who think that this was done for the thrill
of it, that this was done just just for shiggles, yeah, or
to piss off the FBI or yea, the airline or whatever. One of
the observations I had while while doing the research with this is would it be
possible that he had some he had other stuff in his briefcase that the stewardess
didn't see maybe, And by that I mean a change of shoes, goggles,
gloves, Yeah, small things that he could you know, put on.
Yeah, if you plan on jumping out of an airplane and you don't
have gargles and gloves. You're an idiot. Yeah, did he maybe go
through other passenger stuff? They never said that anything else. You know,
this kind of stuff is just that I never saw what the FBI concluded with
this. I'm assuming that it was accounted for, but like other people's personal
items, never came up as being missing or anything like that. You know,
maybe he could have grabbed gloves or a hat from somebody else's luggage.
The other thing is that is and I'm just thinking this right now, but
I believe like skydiving helmets are soft. They got like the ribs there there.
I mean, there are soft parachuting helmets that you could also fit in
a briefcase or a tache case. That's what you're into. I often wonder
if there wasn't something, because there was a good amount of time that he
wasn't seen in the plane, yeah, before he disappeared. Yeah, there's
plenty of time for him to make a you know, a plan or get
himself prep for that. The one Stewardess Mucklow became a nun after this later
later became a nun and then she's refused interviews ever since. She's she's really
I get the impression that she's bothered by it a lot, Yeah, and
doesn't want anything to do with you know, people asking her bed and stuff.
But apparently became a nun for a while. Didn't didn't really work out
for her. Well, I mean, it's traumatic. I thought you're going
to blow up or something. You know, you don't know how these things
end. But through it all, it seemed like from the all all accounts,
she remained pretty calm and did well, you know, yeah while while
that was happening. And then there's always a big deal made about how calm
he was. Yeah, even though he apparently chained smoked the whole time.
Yeah, he was calm, he was polite, polite, and then he
had this knowledge of the flight procedures. I always in reading all this research,
I have a problem with that, just personally, Like I feel like,
yeah, most people probably get shaken up, but you got to think
there's a few people who functioned differently in life. Yeah, like certain flight
knowledge and keeping calm. You can learn how to do that. You can
you can do that as a person, just find out, Yeah, if
you even meditate or even yeah, exactly, even like I think that sometimes
in my research some people would really point out, like how clearly Cooper had
researched this. He knew right flight systems, he knew altitude speech. He
must be an inside job because he knew where the oxygen was or the stairs.
He just you a lot. And so then later on when they're like,
oh, he didn't know about this, like that doesn't jive like the
two versions of someone who knew a lot or didn't or maybe he's like mister
mcgoon was just like, oh, Robin, airplane today will work out.
Yeah. I just feel like it's a little little silly to use his calmness
as evidence that he was more knowledgeable than maybe he was. Right. People
can get very good at showing an out outward calmness too, you know.
Yeah, they might be nervous on the inside or something. But well,
I mean, come on, of course he was nervous. It's not like
he's like, oh, this is his forty seventh you know, airplane hijacking.
Yeah, the flight path if you drew a map with all the like
the placard that's found the money that's found on the place in the rivers called
Tina Bar like sand bar, Yeah, which was also dredged up. Apparently
they they dredged from another part of the river and then dumped it in this
part from the analysis from the dude Paul, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the analysis, the hydro analysis. He concluded that it was dredged up before
the money was deposited there, right, Yeah, that that there, that
it didn't just like tumble down there and end up there. That it was
placed there, either by an animal or by a person. But it happened
after it didn't. It was that that didn't the dredging didn't do it.
Yeah, the bundle didn't land there and just stay there like the drudging happened,
then the bundle showed up, which which kind of creates a very weird
timeline that even even the FBI is like, I gotta be honest, we
have no fucking idea how this money got here. Yeah. Yeah, it's
a little weird. Every everything that they've tried to do to kind of create
a trace of this, you know, track where it went, there's like
ope, nope, because of this, Because of this, and they think
that maybe the drop zone or the place where he landed might might be updated,
just because they weren't factoring in a lot of the weather or the wind
speed. This mat might be around the Washigal River, which is east of
Vancouver and way southeast of where they were looking. Yeah, but that river
then eventually feeds into the Columbia, which then you know, goes downstream past
Vancouver. And that's a that's a hell of a long way to travel,
Yeah, by water, just tumbling around. But that's that's the best going
theory for yeah, because no matter what they say or what they think they
put together, they really have no idea where he jumped, No, they
don't, and and and where the wind would have blown him from there,
and even they were saying just even down to how long he waited before he
pulled the rip cord, Yeah, if he did, if he did.
And that Dan Cooper comic you were talking about, yeah, Belgian, it
was Belgian. It was never translated into English, never sold in the US,
but it was sold in Canada. So there there, that puts points
on the board for him not even being And and the fact that he said
non negotia, well yeah, negotiable, negotiable yeah, yeah, US currency.
They think that may make him foreign. Yeah, that's not a phrase
we use. What do you what do you think I think he died.
I think he died too, Yeah, because that's because for the simple fact
that the money never showed up. Money never showed up, nothing showed up.
Really yeah, I mean I'm really kind of leaning towards He jumped out
and froze it, couldn't even couldn't even pull the chord because he couldn't get
his hand to function, and then just you know, ended up somewhere.
Yeah. Imagine your eyelids icing over. Yeah, that's that's that's it's what
is that Alcome's razor At that point, I think so, I think so,
I think that I think that he I mean, it's it's amazing.
But you know what I think. I mean, here's my theory. And
again, you know, weirdly enough, an Arctic is going to come back
into this. Okay. In nineteen ninety seven, this is a weird South
Pole story. In nineteen ninety seven, some people decided they were gonna they
were going to skydive down to the South Pole Station. Skydive, sky skydive,
wear jazz the whole time, give him hand jive. Um, No,
they were going to skydive. And it was I was a mix.
It was some Americans, some Norwegians and some Australians, which sounds like they
set up for a joke, but it's just really a set up for a
terrible tragedy. Um, they jumped and and I'm not I'm not entirely sure
why. But if it was material failure because of the cold, but um,
three of them died and they never their shoot. They never opened their
shoots, they never tried to, or if they didn't, they failed to
and it was you know, a cold weather issue, and they ended up
burying themselves seven feet into this. No, my thought is that if Cooper
jumped out of the airplane, and I can't believe I have applicable knowledge of
this, if Cooper jumped out of the airplane didn't open his shoot, he
buried himself. If he landed in an open space, I mean, that
guy's a torpedo going through dense forest. Those tree limbs are going to slow
it down. Yeah, I mean somewhat. I mean it depends obviously,
depends on the tree limb, depends on the tree, depends on whatever.
But if he if he did go between trees, if he didn't hit the
trunk of a tree, he buried himself and there would be very little you
know, I don't think to see, I don't, I don't know,
but at least my personal theory, in my heart of hearts, I think
that's what happened, and that's why you never found him. Yeah, which
means that money is still out there somewhere, what's left of it. I
mean, it was pretty rotten in nineteen eighty, that's true. Do you
think it'd keep better in or out of the water out? So the money's
maybe still out there, maybe, yeah, depending on what it's you know,
if it was wrapped in something or I don't know, Well, that's
uh, that's what you got for a very mysterious, rapidly plummeting nutshell.
Nutshell. Still your nutshell, you nutshells? Shoot? Was soon? Chill?
Pick the wrong nutshell? I know some other things that are like what
diving out of planes and hitting so hard to burying themselves? What would that
be? Well, PUDs, it's push, I'll go first, Okay,
go first, low hanging fruit. On this one, I'm pre establishing a
ban on the on the phrase pooper. You can't say pooper, you go
first? Really you did pooper? Oh? Oh, I got one oh
I have I have a business. You can you can get barrels that you
can store your cash in, and there's so much room. It just it's
like you put it in, it disappears nice. Yeah, you can get
them down at dB Cooper's. dB is a Cooper barrel, dB Cooper's dB
Coopers. That's pretty direct. dB here Wait, which what what? You
don't even have to change it? It does itself. I can't believe you
stole Pooper. I didn't steal it. I just ruled it out. We're
better than that, are we? Oh? I wanted to do Poopers too.
You know. Um, there's an Italian guy plumber and uh his brother,
Oh he had a brother, Yeah, he had a brother. Did
they dress alike? Somewhat somewhat? And uh the problem is as they were,
they were in a NonStop battle against an evil tyrant and uh turns out
his brother went trader, even took even took the tyrant's name. Oh man,
Yeah, that guy, that trader, a son of a bitch,
was Luigi Kopa. They yeah, yeah, took all the coins. And
then that's right. I actually got an airline. Oh great that you might
enjoy when you get on the plane. It's real hot. You probably well,
you'd probably do well to just wear a twel Okay, it gets real
hot, sweaty steaming in there. I like it. And then the stewardesses
they come by and they just they kiss you all attendance, try to be
respected. Oh okay, sure they they they kiss on you and they suck
all over your face and they just leave sores. Yeah. You you probably
bought a ticket on a Northwest Sabbastorian tairline. Oh nice? Do you beverage
chee coffee cook? Oh god, you know we got a new sponsor of
the podcast. Oh yeah, no, I'm telling you right now. It's
um it's a farm up in the Pacific Northwest where they raise dogs. It's
a family operation. They've been doing it forever old man Cooper's cash Hounds.
When you need to find a whole lot of missing cash in the woods,
you're gonna need a Cooper's cash Hound. Um. I got a bonus one
for you. Oh really, Ah, it's a show about It's a nineties
show about Prince Beller. Yes, all right, listen to Audible donate by.
It's a sitcom that takes place all in a plane with a guy who
wants to jump out, but he just he can. He just does the
right thing. Really, but with the crazy crew that's on the plane,
it's hanging with dB Cooper. Yeah I saw that one. Yeah, hanging
with dB Cooper. All right, enough for us. Now it's your turn,
listener, bringing us your darkness. Time to jump into the cold,
dark, wet night that is listener, alrighty, straight out the gates like
this. What's your name? None of your g D business? Oh just
kidding. It's Gretel. Oh hi, I know I like that Gretl.
Looks like Gretel's got some sass in her pants, is what she's got,
she writes longtime listener, first time writer. Oh, thank you, Gretel.
I just want to say how much I love the show and the new
site looks great. I've introduced introduced lots of family and friends of the show
and it's a hit all around. Woof thank you, and the hundredth episode
took the cake. Basically, you guys totally are awesome thing. Thank you.
Now that we got the sweet out of the way, oh here comes
the pants that are sassy. Yeah, warm up the beat button. Now,
what the fuck is your sad sack of an excuse for not scheduling a
live episode. Is that so much to ask mud as suspect that off friend
Gretel is in the greatest Chicago, a Midwest area, and maybe we need
a metal detector when we do it. Lots of nerve, Gretel, ps,
thanks for all the brilliantly magical musical numbers. They're my favor Please keep
them coming. Unless I've completely offended you, I'm now on the blacklist.
It takes more than that. It takes a lot more than that. Oh
yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, please send along my fun regards to
the ladies over at candy Chat. They are just delightful. We shall they
won't answer their I have to do it in a handwritten letter. Yeah,
and go ahead and make this funnier if you read it on a supplemental episode,
but really live episode. Thank you, Gretel. There you go,
Gretel, Yeah, yeah, there you go. Sorry we took your cake.
But Dave, oh, it's time to make haste TV end dispense for
the DEI what you got? The Dean comes bearing a pun. What's a
Druid's favorite food, Dave? Fluid gallic bread? Nice The devilish apparition,
wonders if we'd heard about this in the news. There was a fairly large
scandal going on recently in the tabloid magazines. They'd been publishing horrible photos and
trashy stories about lots of celebrities, all of them submitted by the rising star
of the paparazzi, the slander man, Oh nice, I love how far
we can get with this. No one will hire him anymore though, because
it was discovered that his photos and stories were all faked. That's right.
It all turned out to be a slender sham ahi. Thank you, devilish
apparition persition. And from the darkness wherein the apparitions lived to a place darker
still, a place not only removed from man physically but emotionally. And from
that place there is but one feeling, one controlling emotion. It is hunger,
and it is conquer hungers. Hey, everybody, I'm CLU and I
share I am hungry for souls, he writes. Excellent work lately, guys,
Hey show idea look into the big head people. Okay, there was
that former World bank lady who claimed they are running the world from the Vatican
because they need the hats. Wow, she says, really anyway, those
old skulls don't look like don't look to me like something you could accomplish with
rocks and baby abuse. But I'm not a skull expert, just a humble
pirate. And incidentally, I don't want to say penalty box. But your
Druid's episode failed to mention Roman accounts of the Viking branch of the Durdic tradition.
Certain priests of Odin were known for creating, preserve workers and sacrificing people
by sharing a concoction with their victims made with hallucinatory fermentations of honey, amida,
muscara, mushrooms and ergot ergotism. We talked about that sure, before
attempting to beat them to death with their fists. They were called the brew
kids. Oh like a knife in the ribs, like a knifings. Thank
you, get hunger, Thank you. Dave heard from boy Smiths T Smiths,
boy Smithers. Boy Smiths says WTF stumble Upon gone and wants to make
sure we know WTF stands for where the fuck? We don't otherwise looks good.
He says, we didn't give us a chicklet for it. It's not
good enough to warrant an auto developed chicklet. That's that's exactly the case.
Flora knows, Pascal, I know Fortran, but neither of us know HTML,
so we can't code our own. Yeah, it's um still out there,
but yeah, not not a direct way to get there right now from
from our side. Maybe in the future we'll figure it out, or it'll
get added, but we'll stumble upon that kind of house seeing. But thanks
for writing, Thank you, sir. Now, Lord look to the sky,
but there lighting hope in the hearts and minds of all who look upon
it. Who could this be? It's the sorting buffalo of incredulity rights the
following Hello David David, Hi, Hi, you guys did a great job
with the Dkaythik episode. Thank you. But I did read somewhere that the
mysterious newspaper from Munich would have been in their native language. I'm not sure
why, but I found the Druids episode exceptionally funny. As far as the
episodes in which you partook of the firewater, I didn't really notice much of
a distance difference from any other episode. Well from me anyway. Take that
how you'd like anyway. I was recently browsing my Netflix suggestions and came across
a documentary attempting to explain what they referred to as the Devil's Babble. After
reading the description, I was instantly reminded of the Voyage manuscript. Um.
The two were seemingly unrelated. But it was only a forty five minute documentary,
so I watched it anyway. It was very vague, but the story
is very interesting. I think it's right up your alley, and you guys
would do a much better job of explaining it. Keep keep up the great
podcast and always sort with incredulity. Oh thank you very much. I thank
you. I'm soring buffalo. The we had said the the newspaper was was
foreign, not not in the language? Oh yeah, I think, yeah,
he's right, it's I think it was just from out of town.
Oh more so, I can't read anyway, so what would I know.
It's all crazy to me, Flora, what you got in your hand?
Quick? Thank you to Blinovic, Low sends us h Mums tells us to
go check out the x KCD comic for March twentieth was was right up our
alley? It was it ties in. It's strange, how it's just crazy?
How nature do that? Diaqui Blovich And then I got got one more
here? What is it is that? Okay, yeah, quit lying,
You're not lying, but you know what I mean? One more from Jerald,
Oh hello, Jerald all time, Lesner Hi, jeryld erl Rides.
Dudes, dude, you've never heard of the British film that Nick Cage Stinkfest
was supposed to be based on. I had heard of it. I knew
that that his Wickerman wasn't the first Wickerman, but truth be told, it's
I didn't realize that the previous Wickerman was like this pillar of cinematic excellence.
Apparently it is really touched a nerve with that. Ed Woodard and Christopher Lee
Hardy's The Wickerman. You deserve better than cages insanity. Britt Ekland's charm Spell
alone is worth seeking this one out. Also for an Android podcast client,
Gerald enjoys using dog Catcher Dog with two g's. It even works for authenticated
feeds the dog. Not sure what that means, but thank you for passing
it along. I know we do have a lot of it's authenticated, a
lot of have you not been getting your certificates, and the male listeners send
out a certificate to each and every one of you for every episode. Don't
don't write checks. I asked twelve thousand certificates them. Yeah. Yeah,
a lot of a lot of our listeners listen on androids. We even had
a listener on Twitter mentioned that. Trow on Twitter mentioned that there should be
a way to leave reviews and iTunes without having to go through iTunes. Yeah,
there's not not that I can find, although if anybody knows the way,
please lets play by their rule. Brother. Yeah, I thought I
thought you could go to the website the iTunes like online, Because what are
you saying, Grandpa? All of iTunes is online. There's the iTunes app,
and then there's iTunes with a link that you go to. I've got
the link that you go to on the website, But you have to have
the app in order stop making that noise. You got to have an app
in order to subscribe and downloading stuff and leave a review. I thought you
could do all that on the site itself, on whatever website that iTunes has
that's not the app. Somebody backed me up. Dave thinks I've lost my
dim mind. That's what that anois. That's that's the I don't believe you
at all. Boys, it's the I don't even follow what's happening. Get
anymore. I think I get what you're saying. There's like iTunes the program
right, then there's you can access iTunes through the Apple website. Yes,
yeah, okay, yeah, but you gotta but you can't do the same
things on both right, right, which is dumb. Yeah. I still
enjoyed making that sound. I'm not regretting that at all. Uh. Well,
that'll do it for this week for listener. May's right, thank you
for right tune in every ball to hear a lot of stuff coming up.
May is huge. Yep, we're gonna die. We're gonna literally long.
It's gonna be no, it's gonna be so great. We're gonna first of
all, uh, first of all, we've were making our preparations for like,
as we said before Milwaukee Para con June sixth, we're gonna be there,
You're gonna be there. We'll all be square because that's that's preordained.
Yeah, we have got tons of episodes to crank up and get ready for
Flora's leaving. I'm sorry, are you Where are you going? I don't
remember. I'm going overseas. Okay, it'd be a fun trip. I
think Flora's gonna hijack a plane. Yeah, it's on a podcast. Now,
I guess who's not going? You wear Mother Liquor and yeah, we
got lots coming up. So I'm excited about it. You should be excited
about it. You should, and you should show that excitement by going to
Facebook and liking us if you haven't yet, going to iTunes giving us a
five star review. Yeah, go to YouTube, subscribe yep, Twitter,
Twitter, we're at blurry underscore photos threaten us on Facebook, be like,
hey, I'm gonna start really making a big ea stink. If I don't
see some T shirts flying out of you asholes soon, don't tell them to
do that. We respond to pressure and we need that kind of pressure.
But don't work with the iTunes stuff. That's us permanent. You can't undo
that later. That's true, That is true. Don't forget to hit that
donate button that helps us get going. Don't forget to get your free book
audible trial ye slash blurry photos, that's worth it. Yeah, well,
get your get your free book. That's easy. That's it for this episode
of blurry Photos. I have been David Northwest Florian Airlines, and I have
been Dave the Dummy Parachutes Decco. I'm some shut You're gonna die. Streets By