In the year twenty seven fourteen, a new squad of Opera Davis was chosen
by the College of Illusion. These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM
at every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else would
work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune. If you have a
problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the Second Breakfast Club. Tony Kinney as Eddie Falzoni,
Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole as Urag and Jesse
Wicks as Bill Crilliance, Nico Rodriguez as your DM. Welcome back to the
continuing tales of a Fool's Quest. Yeah, what do you want to do
now that you've cleared out the alleyway? Keep making our way towards where it
seemed like you're right? Allis came from? Okay, all right? So
you do that bar that's on fire while you're running Valley does create an illusory
double of Bill that she has running out at the very back of everyone.
Just in case they get ambushed. They'll attack Bill's image. As you guys
are running toward the tavern, we're back to you. Yeah, and you
haven't done a whole lot of damage to this light. Oh I haven't.
It's probably looking pretty healthy. Huh. Yeah, he's not looking as bad
as you are. Okay, you do have one move in your cat form
still that you can try and do something special with, whether it's a pounce
or an evade or an escape or something like that. I think I want
to go for like a one of those really scary ferocious cat grapples okay where
they just like climb you like a tree and shred things as they go.
Yeah, they just latch on it, claws go in. Yep. See
if you can call that break through that carapill armor, that's twelve. Oh
shit, all right, so yeah, roll again the seper your trip.
Okay, So so it's it's yeah max damage still though, what is your
max damage? Nine? Okay? All right, so it's still it's still
up and kicking, and uh, he's gonna try and use his carapis armor.
You're onto him like latched in now and that was your move. So
he's not gonna be able to get the flamethrower on you, but he is
gonna use some of his carapis armor to try and shove you off, and
that is a nine to hit, so you're gonna be able to do some
damage as you as he chucks you off him six six damage okay, wow,
And he does take a chunk with me eight damage to you as he
tosses you off, pretty low, all right? And direction did he chuck
me toward the door? Awesome? Yep? And the rest of the party,
you guys break out into the main little city square there, and you
see a group of seven demons trying to like forming in front of the tavern.
The front door of the tavern is kind of on fire from where the
flamethrower has been. You know, it's a little porch area there, and
the swinging doors are all kind of burning, not like super bad fire,
not like a house is burning down on fire, but you can tell residual
fire from a flamethrower has been spewed all over it. And so the demons
are all ramping up to get ready to charge in. And you see these
seven demons as as you round the corner, all right, we see urag
Gett knocked across the room through the door. He's not through the door,
he's still inside Luly. Yeah. But we see through the door. Oh
yeah, yeah, you can see him through the door. Yep. Yeah,
He's gonna run up and be like, oh why why couldn't you keep
them from burning down the tavern? I didn't know he had a flamethrower.
I didn't never saw the cigarettes outside greater healings. It's like a touch range,
isn't uh huh. I am going to cast h Well, I've got
some visibility and greater healing right now. We got heard of hypnotic pattern for
greater heeling. I wish I still had hypnotic pattern. I think I'm just
gonna cast minor image and make a make an illusion of OURAG, and I'm
gonna tell it to basically when he runs out of there, also run out
in a different direction though. Okay, all right, so you create a
cat image of Oh no, actually after that last move when he got knocked
back, he turned back into his normal fur bog cell. Yeah, because
he expended that move. Yep. In that case, I'll make a regular
regular furball alright, cool, all right, So a regular fur bog ORAG
appears right on top of where he is and then kind of separate out.
I rolled in eight, so I am gonna forget that spell. Okay,
all right, so that spell is forgotten and illusion is up sweet and that
takes us over to Adira. I'm gonna, yeah, tend to hit whatever's
closest to me. Okay, oh yeah, oh yeah, sorry, Yeah,
you snuffed that cigarette out like like it's no big deal. It's a
zero gross. But then it said ten. I was like, I'm confused,
So that's great. Yeah, there's no zero on the die unless you
just pick it up and dip it in a horse trough. And after running
the corner, you all do see the giant water tower that's there as well.
All right though, Eddie, not Eddie, Bill Bill, it's your
turn. You said that, but you were looking at me. I was,
I'm not a warlock, me neither as far as I know. So
I can see now, okay, you can see you just you would have
to go into the tavern to get to him. You see both Raggs.
Yeah, you see two Raggs. You can hear me from here, right?
Oh yeah, you're also beautiful, beautiful, that's true. Yeah,
uh roll, it's a set like eight, it's a night. What would
you like to happen? Well? Either attract attention or verberates to somebody else.
It's up to you. Uh, we're gonna say, with six more
demons all around you, you're gonna attract attention. Yeah. I don't think
I really need to buff up the lighter right now. He's doing just but
yeah, you got two be four damage and the next and I'm gonna heal
you for fourteen hit points. Nice, all right, that was a lot
more hit I thought I was gonna I was gonna care package. Hey,
Valley finally hits her target. She pulls up her crossbow, shoots it,
hits her target right in its orange filtery shin and does one point of dam
Really that val but she hits someone this time. Okay, it's improvement.
Yeah, it is an improvement, and it is all of those demons turned.
So there's six left, these little imps that are all going to turn
and charge after Bill. There's two of me, there is two of you
there. So let's do let's do this on a D six on a D
six, three of Yeah, actually I would say that as well. Oh
no, yeah, thanks, Tony. It's a warlocky thing. He's a
war teachers. Bill's cheating his demon that he made a deal with the DM,
I mean technically always true. Uh So these six demons just swarm you,
these little emp demons cigarettes and run over and swarm you, doing ten
eleven points of damage and they're just all on top of you. Just put
it lighter burns or cigarette burns all over your arms and legs. Yeah,
and so that's those six there. So I see four eight, fifteen,
okay, and you see five more coming down from the way you came.
That all stop and attack your uh, your image that was behind you,
and that makes up the rest of the pack of twenty. As they're coming
down and they put out and uh and valleys, little image of you disappears
into nothing, miss, and we're bouncing back over to Rag. Now Rag,
Okay, well I'm feeling particularly brody at this point, So back in
with the big guy. Okay, I'm just in regular form. So I've
got my spear and just my size six. Oh so that's a miss.
Yeah, So you charge in with your spear, but he deflects it with
his flamethrower and takes half step back. In my normal form, yeah,
that's totally fair. And after he takes a half step back, he volleys
again and that's a hit for for ten points of damage. As he flame
throws all over the inside of the bar, and you guys see fire just
spouting out through the windows, through the door and uh oh, reg just
getting toasty in there again. Save the beer I'm drying, Eddie. And
that takes us back to Eddie Stern. Oh yeah, he'll, I'm gonna
go over and heal Bill. I'm a cast my greater healing spell. Look,
it's not a warlock thing. That's a seven. That's a seven,
okay, So yeah, that heals you four your minus one on all your
spells right now too, right, yeah, okay, I thought it was
an eight at first, and then I was like, nope, minus one.
Okay. Yeah, hey, and guess I'm gonna draw a coach.
Okay, all right, So you run up. He's like covered in these
imps, probably laying down on the ground at this point, trying to symbol,
and these ins are all over him, putting little burn marks on him.
And you just reached down, touch him on his forehead, heal him,
and all of the ms stopped burning him. And look up at you,
easy, guys, easy. It's a good little uh little little good
you're telling me that wasn't a warlock spell. You didn't even lie to me.
Warlocks don't heal things. I don't think how would you know if you
were in a warlock. That's a good point, the dearest turn, how
far is the water tower? The water tower? You could get to it
in one turn. Yeah, I'm gonna do the what are you waiting for?
Again? Okay? That is a thirteen? Oh hell, so all
of them turn away from Eddie and look at you. A really short water
tower, all right, and you start running towards the water tower. Have
a boss? Okay, sorry, I have to abandon you all but sudden
I has to put these fuckers out verry. Average lifespan of one of these
into is about five minutes, I think plus or seven. Bill your turn.
People claim they take fifteen. It's weird. Mh. I'm I'm gonna
turn and tell a dear she's doing a wonderful job, and all as I'm
running away, great, you go, great out I'm trying. Oh that's
a twelve. So that's Joe roll again. Yeah that's an eleven. Nice.
So, yeah, it's just a heal and a I he of you
for four points. Take it O take it and you get two D four
forward. I think you want to hit all these anyway, but no,
I think she wants the two D four for the water tower. Oh yeah,
as long as I got them all in my ass, I can take
them all out. No. I didn't even get their attention this then you
know you did on the tower, all right, Greg didn't knock it off
the table. Valley's going to turn her bow on the ones that came from
behind you. She's gonna shoot back and miss again. She should have just
recreated another bill on the five new ones that came from behind and uh,
let me se if they saved on that one. They did not, So
they're actually going to follow the other six as well. So you're gonna have
all eleven chasing after you. Okay, So, and that worked amazing.
The five that are too far out of range aren't gonna be able to hit
you. But the six that were like right on your heels are they're all
off Bill now and they're chasing after you. They're gonna shoot their ashes at
you to see if they can hit you with a volley with it, and
they do not. They miss. They're all shooting ash. But the wind
is blowing toward them. You know, you're running toward the water and so
the wind is blowing off off the ocean, and that'sh just goes flying behind
him. Something in my eye. So you take no damage while you're running
toward the water tower and it is o rags turn okay, play blue ash
on their own faces. What kind of shape is this big guy in?
Uh? Some would say he is still a little over fifty percent health.
I thought so. Some would say, take your time, see if we
can fix that. That's eleven a h ark ooh that's nine max damage.
Oh yeah, two D four yeah four four hell yeah, seventeen points of
damage for those keeping track. He shouldn't die. Ooh skeer, he does
die. That was twenty five health h So yeah, So what does your
final killing blow on this guy look like? Just a lunge with I have
my my shield on my left and my spear my right. Now, let's
do a leaping lunge with the spear right through his face, all Spartan style.
Yes, smart, yeah you do. And you hear the metal click
of his uh lighter, you know, his fuel injected lighting flamethrower click out
of light and the torch goes off and he just crumples to the ground.
Smoking is bad for you. Yeah, he's the spears apparently, Adie.
You see five ms go running by you and Bill and Valley all chasing after
Adira, and uh, it's your journey. I'll try to bond one of
those which everyone comes closest. You try to smack it with that. Just
try to close line it with that baton. Okay, that it's a nine
to hit, all right, it's going to hit me back though for two
damage. My god, it's still alive. Oh no, you had bonus
damage? Yeah, twenty four. Oh yeah, so he dies, there's
no way. They only have three hit points. So you got him.
So yeah, he goes running by. You close line him like you said,
with your baton, and ash shoots out, so you take three points
of damage from the ash as he's running by. But yeah, that is
that is that and it takes us down to half a pack. Yeah yeah,
yeah, that's ten so far has been killed. So you got ten
on you still and it is a deerest turned running toward the water tower.
You said that I could get there in turn are so the ladder is gone?
Yep? So I can't like hack out at the legs of this water
tower. Yeah, I don't want to try to climb this thing because there's
no ladder, So I'm gonna try to hack this motherfucker down, okay,
or that Yeah, that's that's You're gonna hit the leg of the water tower
for sure. How much damage are you going to do to this beast?
Get? Yeah? Yeah? Fourteen points of damage? Yeah, so fourteen
points of damage. You're gonna be able to shear right through the leg of
this water tower, which begins the teetering. I am going to need a
defy danger from you though now as this water tower is going to fall onto
you. That it's whatever rule you want, so probably getting out of the
way. It's strength to dive out of the way, or strength to shove
the water tower slightly away and dear gets taken out by a water tower nine
nine okay, so stumbles so yeah, so you hesitate just briefly because you're
not sure exactly which way it's gonna fall, so it uh. You are
able to dodge most of the damage from it, though, but the water
tower itself comes down and splashing in the water. You stuff all around you,
shoving you forcefully into a wall nearby, doing four points of damage,
so three after your armor as the water just lifts you off the ground and
throws you ways away into the nearest building. And the other demons all said
three points. Yeah, the six that were right by you, they all
just get taken out, just absolutely snuffed out. The four that were no,
they they failed there defined angelol as well. So the just hits the
ground and goes rushing toward them, and uh and hits the other four that
we're heading that way, and just all all of those demons just absolute I'm
gonna use minor illusion to make the water look like like white horses. Yes,
thank you, minor illusion on thousands of gallons of water with one horse
at the front, the tolken horse leading the charge. It's like a carousel
phone, all right. And you guys have defeated a pack of smokes.
And while the fools take a moment to catch their breath, we are going
to take a moment for these messages. High excursionist. I'mnarri. Do you
know that stories have a way of taking you into a different world? Why
don't you join me? At the end of the Night Anthology podcast, we
present you with bite sized stories that make you question what you thought you knew.
I may have something that would interest you. Everything gets old, so
someday, as long as it's cared for, any item will become an antique
that includes you and me and sometimes terrify you with what you didn't what's happening?
This can't be real as when you will ow mister Sauls, bring a
friend along when you find us on your favorite podcast directory, and make sure
to follow us on Twitter at Into the Night Pod so you never miss an
episode. Remember you should never wander these twisted paths alone. In fact,
look, the first path is just ahead. Are you ready? Follow me?
And now let's get back to the food. In the town of ioh
Our five heroes if we count Valley and her Shenanigans somehow destroyed a pack of
smokes and save the town by destroying its water tower. The majority of the
fires have been now put out. The fishing in this area is bad for
some reason. You guys have learned this, and Demon Hoarde was just running
around, but you just took out a big pack of it. You guys
are a little sore right now, some of you, some of you have
gotten some bruises. I smell like burnt hair. I'm fully healed. Somehow
you will be looking at Eddie. You're welcome. I'm okay. If he's
a warlock, then ask you to touch me with your dirty witch hands.
He's a witch. How do you know? We use the break after that
fight. So let's find somewhere. Probably not the burning tavern. Is it's
the only tavern town. Yeah, it's a small like all of these towns,
with the exception of where you're going in New Hibira is small. They're
either tiny fishing towns or they're like those military forts like you stayed at at
Posha. A general store. We'll go in the general store. Yeah,
there's a general store. Yeah, probably some dry goods and stuff. We
can prepare them a meal so we don't have to use our hot pockets.
I want to find some kind of ointment. This hurts, like, yeah,
so you gotta send word back to about this demon. That's a ten.
Yeah all right, nope, that's a nine. I'm gonna forget the
spell now, okay. Valleys, like, do you want me to go
get the horse and bring it into town in the cart? And the cart
it's attached where did you come from? Yeah, you could do that rally.
We appreciate it. You didn't get hurt in that light, right,
No, no she didn't. I stayed back with my bow. She can't
get hurt. The bat guys don't know she's there either. Yeah, she
saved your bacon bill. Another bill showed up. I don't know where the
helly came from. The ate your hot pocket stuff, all right, So
she goes back and gets the cart, and you guys go rummaging for general
stuff like food supplies and stuff. Yeah, so as you start going to
some of the houses, you do find what you're looking for, as far
as you know, some bandages that are there. You find some food that
you can eat, not really travel rations, but stuff that's there. But
you also find some corpses. It looks like the town was taken by surprise
and what appears to be a larger force. It seems like maybe this was
just this small contingent that was left behind to guard the town for some reason,
Like the demons seem a little organized. Is what you're getting from scouting
around the town and taking a look around. So you do find some bodies
and stuff that are in their houses that have been burned or rag. You
think you could ask some of the you know, locals, like the cobblestones
or something, which way the army went when they left. Are there any
animals or wildlife left in the city. There are no animals in the city.
With the demons around, animals, natural things tend to leave the area.
Okay, but yeah, I I'll see if I can sense any spirits
in the local vicinity. Is there a rock bricks? Uh? There is
a statue in the town that is constructed for Salune. It's got a statue
of her defending a unicorn, and it's an old, old, old,
old statue built from before the current age. I'm just chilling right here near
the entrance of town, and you are able to go chat with h there.
That isn't old enough? Cool? Cool? Yeah, So I use
the old thing talker spirit talk yep, the spirit of h Stone. What
are we dealing with here? What has happened? There are demons that have
wandered this way. They attacked and killed the residents of Io. Where did
they come from? They came from north west, the north, from the
plains. So from where you are at in iow Pepperville is directly north of
you. Fed Rose is west of you along the coast, and northwest is
like kind of barren lands. Yeah, perhaps a portal. What is wrong
with the fish in this area? They've been sick for about two months now.
I don't know why they're sick. The fishermen never really spoke about it,
definitively. Have you noticed anything unusual other than the demons? No,
not really, just that all the people left. They think this place is
cursed. Did they leave before the demons? Arright they No? No,
some of them did. Like from the fish being sick, they started a
journey toward uh, some hidden city here in the country. Thank you,
spirit, You've been helpful. Absolutely, So I'll go back to Eddie and
Bill and Ladira. The statue in the square witnessed the demon encounter said they
came from the northwest. M doesn't know why the fish are being rotten.
The townspeople may think it's cursed. No, they didn't go that back that
way. They might run into the people from Fedro's and Diane, well,
let's find a place to sleep for the night, and then we're almost a
new Hibira coming up to it about halfway. Yeah, one more town on
the ways. I'm tempted to spend some time down by the beach by the
docks, see if I can find any fish or anything like that. Yeah,
we're gonna go camp on the beach. Now, you guys camp wherever.
We'll find a warehouse by the docks, set up our bad rolls.
But it's a big beach bonfire. That actually sounds nice because it's winter in
Michigan. Big beach bonfire. Guitar warlock, a little warlow. That's what
the ding was working, all right, So you guys go set that up.
Yeah, all right, so yeah, yeah, you guys go set
that up. There are no more events that happened through tonight. Is there
anything you guys want to do while you're camping. Do you've got the ability
to try and learn another scroll orag you want to try and figure out what's
going on with Yeah? Do some little uh community searching amongst the fish if
there's any in the area. Okay, yeah, you can talk to a
handful of fish. You're gonna go to school, did it? Yeah,
I'll go swimming to fishes for a bit, all right? Do you shape
shift for that? Yeah? I make your role. Let's see how this
campfish. Okay, all right. Yeah, so you you're successful returning to
a fishing and you're swimming and you see uh uh yeah some fish that are
down there. But you see one specific jellyfish that's just going around. He's
like, hello, hi, oh you I'm good. Uh. I noticed
that the fishy in this area has gone south. Mmm it's been spoiled.
Yes, the dumbfish have all come down with something. The dumblefish. Yes,
they're not smart like us jellyfish. Ah, that's a fishiest. It's
just the way the gods made us smarter than the dumblefish. Do you know
what ails them? I'm not certain, but I do know that as sickness
is spread from east along the coast and has come this way. Oh thank
you, mister jellyfish. I like to tell you a story. There once
was a small dumbfish. It was out in the ocean, and it was
chilling on the back of a whale. Do you know what a whale is?
Yes, that is amazing. I took you for a dumbfish. So
the small fish swam with the whale until they got closer to the area here.
Do you know why the fishing villages are in this area here because of
the fish. You are on a streak. So the whale came close and
the fishermen they all shot their spears at the whale. These are the fishermen
over to the east, in a town over there. Oh, you've probably
never heard of it. It's fine. And they killed the whale. And
while they were pulling out the whale guts, they found the fish entrapped it
in their nuts. Do you know what they did with that fish? They
ate it. No, they had a whale to eat. They had all
the food they needed. I knew you were a dumbfish. Listen, dummy.
They tossed it back in and cursed that fish. That fish then spread
its cursed to other fish, the fish that tried to eat the whale,
the other dumberfish that came to check out the dead whale and swim around in
its dead whe the blubbery blood. Anyway, the curse spread and spread and
spread, But it only spread to the dumbfish. A smart jellyfish. Well,
we were not cursed because the God's loveless, not like the dumbfish.
Do you understand the moral of my story, dummy? To listen to jellyfish.
It's because they're too afraid to get close to the whale because they're spineless,
hating. I so want to turn into a porpoise and eat this thing.
Okay, if you don't understand, it's fine, your dumb. You're
very insulting for a jellyfish. I think I'm pretty standard for a jellyfish.
Ask any jellyfish. They I'll tell you, your dumb, it's just cannon
middle jelly for your ass check. Yeah, all right, head back to
shore. I'm gonna take the jelly fish off. Okay, so just yank
it out of the water. Okay, who's the dummy? Now drops on
the beach? Oh man, all right, let's see. He just just
dropped him on the beach as he walked up by the water. But yeah,
sure, find your ways back. And it's a jellyfish, so it
doesn't have muscles, so you know, you can see how close he has
surviving. But it's just where the waves are when they come up. Yeah
that evening tide to just get a little bit stronger. Yeah, all right,
so he's having a bad night. I didn't realize yet, has dumbfish?
All right? Eye, and then Eddie, you're doing this at a
scroll. Yeah, I'm gonna learn Zephyr's strike. Okay, that's what we'll
have to translate from D and D. But shouldn't be too tough, all
right, go ahead and make your role to see if we learn it.
That is a nine, all right, So you learn it, the ability
fizzles out or that the scroll disappears burns up as you learn it, it
goes away. So for the duration your movement doesn't provoke attack of opportunities,
I would say once before the spell on, you can give yourself advantage on
one weapon attack roll on your turn. The attack deals an extra D for
damage when you hit, which obviously that's gonna we're gonna have to tweak that.
Yeah, if we tweak that to make it, just deal in an
extra die of damage. Yeah, the extra movement. As far as the
attack of opportunity, that's not really relevant. Yeah yeah, So just the
extra movement and extra diet damage extra DE four Yeah ye that works for me.
So yeah, you've got it, but you're gonna have to arrest and
prepare your spells for tomorrow before you can use it to test anything out.
Instead of the advantage park, I do plus one on an attack or something.
Yeah, that makes sense plus one under the attack and the additional damage.
All right, Adira and Bill, are you guys doing anything for the
evening? I'm stealing it. You're skulking. I'm gonna stay away from Bill,
I skull cloud. Woe is me. I'm wowed make some earplugs out
of playing the symbols full time. Just healing, That's all I'm doing.
All right. Valley will prepare dinner for the things that you guys found.
She'll cook it up. No fish, though, you guys found a lot
of fish, but she was you know, well you all agree. She
just kind of chucks that and gets rid of it. But yeah, yeah,
you guys are You're good. You rest for the evening and you wake
up the next morning and you are fit and ready to go. So while
we're all gearing up and getting ready to head out, I'll regale everybody with
the story the jellyfish told me about the whale and the fish and the possible
curse. Let's see if the jelly survived. We're gonna we're gonna roll for
it. We're gonna stroll by the carcass He's gone, he's gone. Yeah,
yeah, so he had the constitution to survive the night, and the
tide came up just enough so that he was able to stretch out and make
it into the ocean. And as he floats off, oag you here in
the middle of the night. Fuck you dummy, just chuck roll over the
moral of that mind your business. Don't fuck with a dummy fish with antlers,
all right? And you guys wake up the next morning and is there
anything you want to do or just start heading off to garrisk I think just
heading off the garrisk I can't think anything else. He's turned up town.
Well, if we're hitting the road, that means there's a chance for another
while magic event. So Adira, go ahead and roll me a D twenty
A nine A nine. So you guys make it through the day without any
more floppy weapons. So that's good, and you make it to garrisk This
concludes this episode of A Fool's Quest, and join us next time for more
fun and daring adventure. Thank you for listening, and don't forget to like
the subscribe, review, and comment on your favorite platform. To listen to
A Fool's Quest