This welcome back and Devian's junior adventures to the Quest four competence. I'll be
your d M M K. Gibson and with us today we start with Judy
Black. Hi. I am Judy Black, and I am definitely here.
I play Nicole Manz in our Lovely podcast, and I recently have put out
two new tabletop RPGs. One you may recognize as being a Bubba the Monster
Hunter uh tie in where you can fight your own jock strap priest and a
bunch of zombies in Chattanooga, Tennessee, because who doesn't want to deal with
jock straps in Chattanooga, Tennessee. And I also have a collection of fortunes
that you can use in any tabletop game. It's system neutral, and those
are both available on Drive Through RPG. And now on to I Believe My
my lovely not Cannibal friend. I am the one, the only, the
r E car and I am definitely not a cannibal. Currently in this game,
have I told you about the wonders of a plant based diet? I
happen to play the currently fighting for her life druid Hilda Swington, and when
she is not gasping and gurgling and left for dead, and plotting and plotting
and plotting. I sometimes as R. E. Car write urban fantasyes,
horror, comedy, and science fiction books, and my latest, The Final
Girl, Part two, should be out this December. Hi, It's Teresa
Glever And in this game, I play the inimitable trin Karen, who is
trying to work her way up that boss babe anti corporate ladder along the side
of a vaguely triangular shaped building. But that's neither here nor there. In
real life, I am the author of the Caitlin Kelly Monster Hunter series with
Falstaff Books, an editor with Falstaff Books, and the con bitch that you
will find behind the table if you come to see us, and I will
sell you all the things. So you should come and see us at conventions
so I can sell you all the things. Hey everyone, my name is
Rick QUALTERI and I play moo Frish Eater. And if you don't know who
he is by now, you probably have actually not been watching us, which
case you're probably not listening to me anyway, So fuck you. In real
life I write several things. By the way, if you are listening to
us, that fuck you is not for you. You guys are great in
real life. I write several things including Bill of the Dead, Tom of
Bill, Tales of the Crypto Hunter, and my current two latest. I
have just finished a Boor War on kindlevella and ongoing on Royal Road is my
first lit RPG. Time Chaser, go check him out. Hey, y'all,
I'm Misty Massey. I am the author of the Madchestral series of pirate
fantasy adventures, and Tonight, as in many Nights prior, I am playing
and we're Crow, the seductive, slinky, sexy thief who just wants to
get in your pants. Well, actually no he doesn't. Right now.
He wants to be He wants to make it right for what he did to
Hilda because he feels really bad and he's really really sorry. So let's get
to it because he's sorry. Eh So, And as I said at the
beginning, I'm Mk Gibson, trying to bring a lot of energy to this
big GiB energy. I am the author of Shadow Master series, Technomanswer Series,
and a variety of others. Please check them out where fine books are
sold. Where we last left off, it wasn't pretty folks. Now,
quick update, quick update. The John Hartness Update. So, after dying
from being hit by Drew Hayes book and fighting death off and beating the game
of Magic, now wandering the waste land of the in between, John has
found his way back to the land the living. Unfortunately he's in the body
of a thirteen year old girl at the moment. It explains his love of
K pop, so he wish him well on his personal journey of discovery until
he slips back into the land of the between and see where he ends up
next. So right now, he's joying himself. He's enjoying, he's learning,
he's learning a whole lot of new things. But that's not what we're
here. I'm going to call Chris Hansen here, right, I'm just I'm
those possessed. You can't. You can't call Chris Hanson how a possessed goes.
It's like, like, that's a whole other comedy series here. Someone
write that. That'd be amazing. Anyway, I saw him this weekend and
I didn't get any inkling of any of this, So I'm kind of disturbed
because you they hide it very well. That's I told you, that's not
him, that's a johnal ganger. Whoever you're seeing is not him, so
it's it's a it's a good the lack of gas, because he did have
a significant lack of gas. Well, I know, I roommate. I
roomed with them at A and d E con all right. When last week
left off, they had gotten to Ragafuel left. Ragafuel went up the mountain,
climbed to the top of this like temple type area, and unfortunately had
a little of an encounter with some gollums due to some people stepping inside of
certain magic circles. These gollums took the shape of our friends, and our
friends got to beat up our other friends. But through amazing trial and error
and misty stabbing it in the dick over and over and over, so that
move then felt the steps to his dick, they eventually defeated this gollumn and
they got one half of the lock, but there's another circle, and there's
another there's another piece missing. They got the triangle, but now they need
the circle piece. So but we also left off in a state of danger
because our good friend Hilda Swinton fell sal top of the order moog. What
would you like to dough moog? She fallen comrade, so moog, moog
know what to do. Move, get on one knee next to face or
body, and start going through her pockets to see if she have valuables.
All right, give me investigation check. She's not dead yet, She's only
mostly dead. I mean she would enjoy him groping her anyway. So do
I get advantage for being groped twenty three? Well? Uh, besides being
groped by you and the obvious of rec nipples. Uh. With a twenty
three, you find everything like whatever she's got you can find in six seconds
and Rachel can feel you in Hey, I happen to have a healing potion
on me. She didn't need this anymore. Okay, your six seconds is
over, and Karen, okay, So I need to actually get over to
her in order to do anything like remotely resembling healing. You're only fifteen feet
away. You can make it. I can. But can I do it
while avoiding those stupid circles? That is the question. And I can.
Well, you found one, but I'll let you. I'll remind you while
the other the other thing was over on this side of the map, to
the left of was where the last the other symbol was in the ground,
so you seem to be safe for the moment. Okay, it works well,
it is not letting me move. So can we just say that I
can make it over there while avoiding the circle? I can I just put
you over there. I'll put you over there for you A cure wounds at
third level m h by smacking her on the booty. So moog, you
see your friend dive in knee slide, coming in and slapping that ass,
tapping it hard and then stealing a lot of healing straight to the glutes.
Uh. Now, everybody involved, Now that she's alive, we can come
out unless unless and we're wants to do something specific. I'm gonna take you
out of turn order for the moment, and or do you have anything specific
you want to do? Is she she's alive? Uh? If you skip
your turn to come to hers, yes, she will be, unless you
want to stab her first to make sure she stays there. God, no,
no, no, no, I'm asking, do I notice that she's
being taken care of? Okay? In that case, I'm throwing myself on
the ground and screaming, hallelujah, She's all right? Okay, all right,
then I'm going to take everybody out of turn order, because now I
swear I've been to heaven. I think I was groped by Moog and it
was Moog's hands. Moo keeps hands to self. Well, Moo not steal
anything. Would everybody be so kind as to give me a perception? Check?
Not you, Judy, I was. I'll say, I don't think
I'm not and I'm not participating. Move gets an eleven. All you need
is a two or better to notice this. Oh fantastic wow, especially especially
with trink Karen's natural twenty. Hilda rolled at twenty three. Right, trink
Karen got a twenty two of you got twenty Three's one was a natural twenty.
So between the two of you you can fight it out who's better.
There's a sound a boo oo and out of nowhere leaping from across the mountain,
the fresh water Viathan leaps from one stream over where you're at, and
there's a sound like a blopop and your friends Gary and Madam Crunchy come flying
from the sky having been shot out the blowhole. And we'll land on the
map. Oh that's what they call it. And let's just for the just
for the funsies of it, you get and the whale can sing use its
arc off the other side of the mountain to find another fresh water stream to
swim around. Uh, there's the dice. Let's say, Gigi, we
kind of take three points of falling damage. Okay, I mean I'm a
wizard, so I'm dead. Yeah, that's that's fine. We'll get you
got your right next to healer. Maybe I am still dead. Whale pockets
to go through. Actually, you know what, Judy, your favor roll
me a percentage die fifty to one hundred. You land on Hilda forty nine
and below you miss, I just want to seek you land on Hilda.
Oh god, baby, thank you, thank you for viking mesole. I'm
very delicate. I mean, that's not the weirdest thing that I've seen happen
in this group, but it is the first time that I've seen actual whaages.
That is how te flings are going. Didn't you know? I didn't
know? Actually, oh the more you know, what an enlightening day?
It has been fished? Was I groped by mook? Did I just see
it? Well? Oh, hi, Gigi, Hello, we've both had
interesting days, all right? To everyone get ready to fight more? Goog
will go over. Whoa, whoa, whoa, where's my healing? Oh
geez, you already ran in? Did you move? You didn't explain anything?
What explain? Moog said? Get ready to fight more? All right?
Well, Mood ran in. But this circle is larger than the other
one, and while the energy wall goes up, nothing appears. It feels
like it's not quite complete. All right, nobody get in that thing with
him, so real quick, I'll give Gigi the the download of what happened.
So okay, see this like magic circle thing here. It turns you
into an avatar of your worst self and then we have to like fight you
and kill you, so you know, and then you stab Hilda and you
feel really bad and you're really sorry afterward. Uh worst worse self giant move
seemed pretty cool, Like I said, worse self, French necromancer? Would
you mind getting your exposition not on my tits? But they also stuff?
Okay, I mean, if you're gonna stay there, you better cast something.
I don't. I don't think you want me to cast anything because none
of mine feel nice? Okay, I get off, get off of the
tits. Ah. Well, sorry, I was expecting something else. For
a second, anything she casts is going to make it burning. You pee,
I cast the media helthy, we'll stand up. Okay, so we
just havef I think like Evada Gils. That's no most thing like you.
You have not done so before since some of us were dispelling things instead of
stabbing. They're so called companions. You know, not that I'm bitter or
anything. It's okay, Oh it's not. It'll never be okay. I
mean, if you insist, that can be very creative. You look over
here this c one second there is a glowing runic circle around move but it's
not fully illuminated yet. Okay, I'm gonna go over What can I ascertain
about this barrier? It's a lot like the one you saw, just slightly
larger. Slightly larger. Is it more? Is it less solid? More
solid? I will remind you that on the ground right over here there is
a stone circle on the ground, very similar to how there was a diamond
circle. Over here, there is a a circle symbol carved into the ground
where Moog is at. As you recall in the last one, when you
went into the circle where the other diamond carved was on the ground that's what
activated the column. This circle that is now glowing seems slightly larger, like
it's built for more than one. Somebody joined Moug in here you to have
he's you wish to have? You want to have his steeled wain and go
oh Hill did you walk in? I did? Fantastic give me a moment.
Well, shit, after all, I've already had the death experience.
Hilda and Moog spoon chin in a circle. Some and and evil things to
come kick our ass. The circle is complete. The stone, the clay
gollumn that was in the ground sits up a magical stone in its chest,
magnifying the body. But because it is now Moog and Hilda, I'm guessing
I can't see shit. Nope, the people with the the dark vision all
went off and fucked off. Why are my sideways that I have dark vision?
I can see, Okay, who cannot see? Can you not see
the map? I can see a circle because I have a light source,
But I can't see the circle that they stepped into, like they just kind
of fucked off into the dark. Yes, okay, they went to they
so, yes, so for as far as you're concerned, they went in
to the they went off to the left side and fucked off in the dark.
Now, yeah, they're they're going to make out, aren't they?
Yes, yes, for the sake of general intelligence, considering it just happened.
The last time two people went in to circle, the creature was big
and had multiple abilities, So the fighter and the druid both went to the
circle together. So something's going to come out that's going to require the rogue,
the spellcaster, and the cleric to defeat. So let's have fun with
this, shall we? All right? Actually, la la la, la
la la, all of you have fun dime. You realize we're going to
feel this right, Oh, trust me, I know, I remember what
I would you all be so kind as to click on yourselves and hit me?
Everybody? Yep, hella healthy rolls at ten better than last time Moog
rolls in nineteen. Okay, I have a sixteen twenty three? All right,
So top of the order is on weird honor. Can you even see
anything? You cannot? So as far as you're concerned. You hear a
rumbling sound to the west, like something big just got up, and that's
all you know. It could be Moog. I can tell Moo it's a
creature getting up or does it? I mean, well, it was something
that's like, you know, twelve to fifteen feet tall, sits up out
of the grounds. It's gonna make some noise. Yeah, But can I
tell it something sitting up or can it? Does? It just sound like
like something heavy and could very well be rocks falling off a mountain. I
can't see for all of them. Uh, something just sat up so all
like sounded like like earth moving, grass snapping, rocks breaking, something like
sitting up like this, So they're totally having this sounds like something that I
should run from. Well because it just happened to you, like a two
weeks ago. But yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that sound.
Oh it's I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's me, isn't it. Yes,
ma'am. Ignore this Clay Gollum in the corner, just using him there
for Actually I'll move him down here, okay, I will. I will
go to well, I'm gonna I'm gonna go to the edge of what I
can see. Is the edge of what I see right here next to trink,
Karen, I can see what you can see it and you can see
to write about here I can Okay, So this is roughly the edge of
your vision right there, okay, And and the noisyness is beyond that,
yes, roughly over here. Do you see the yep? Yeah? Ok.
Then I'm running down to I am running down to the edge of my
vision and saying, do what you will, and I'm throwing my arms wide.
And so you're not gonna You're not gonna take a defensive stance or anything.
Take me. I know. I'm guilty. I'm guilty. Oh wow,
okay, Uh, you're host last time. So I thought you guys
are gonna rest. I thought you might want to heal up. I thought
you might take a short strain pack. No, let's not do anything smart.
We got did I mention guilty? There's guilty and then there's stupidity.
I'm well okay. So you are standing there, arms wide like a Creed
video from the nineties, arms wide open and moog. You are inside the
circle? Do you want to stay inside the circle? Moo? Okay,
inside circle? Okay? Cool? Can I can I see the uh?
Can I see the gollum? Oh? Yeah, I see the two two
giant us overlapping each other. Yeah, it is like it's a fusion of
moog and uh Hilda, all right, it's Milda. However, we want
to portmanteau this name. I like Milda from inside the uh the uh circle.
I'm going to cast a ray of frost in it? Is this what
their children look like? Maybe? Ter Uh it's terrifying if two if a
sculptor put two of them like in melting into one another and kind of like
the grossest display of cronaberg sex. Yes, have you seen the fly?
It's like so all right, so a thirteen that missus? Okay, Mo
tried? Okay. Oh by the way, Rick, I do have a
D one hundred things. So if you ever want to play with your rig,
I've got a potential. Uh, let's fuck around and find out moments.
So all right, Next up is Gigi. Okay, I can see
them right, Yes, you see this thing? Okay, So since I
was not here, this is dark so other people cannot see what's going on.
They can, like your two party members right now, have no night
vision, gotcha? Okay, Well there is a glow coming off of the
meditato that is entrant Karen's hand that they have the limited amount of vision.
Well that's okay. How flammable does this area. Look, it's it's scrub
bland and brush some rock. I mean, it might go for one quick
blaze, you know, but it also you know, it's there's streams and
things in nearby, so the vegetation'll smoke more than it'll burn. But right
around where you're standing there, I mean, you could get a quick scorch
out of something, but it won't stay that way. Gotcha a lot of
stone. Well, I do have zombies wearing clothing, you're gonna set them
on the fire? I mean, oil is flammable zombies. Okay, well
that's a them problem for not being able to see, that's not a me
problem. So you got the benefit of being a te fling. So yeah,
I'm going to just you know, assume hostility until proven otherwise, and
just cast firebolt at the abomination. Sounds fantastic, fire away, my friend
sixteen hits for thirteen damage. You us. I am going to tea and
at tea and I am going to set up my zombie defense fence and just
chuck myself nicely behind the zombies. Okay, sounds good. And that it's
the columns turn so uh so because there's two in this one. Yeah,
it's going to move to right here. So uh oh, I hate this
round. So for this round, one of either rick decide amongst yourself who
gets the action, who gets the bonus action, and then you can flip
flop on the next turn. So what we lost you? I lost your
for a second there, gentlemen, first to attack your friends with violent force.
Well, here's the thing. If I use my power, it also
encompasses the bonus action. I have a bonus action too, all right,
then we'll fudge it for this. This is magic generating this. This is
like it's like you you knew you came to this place, and it's a
test. It's a test of your abilities to see if you're worthy of picking
up the gem of food mark. So fighting amongst yourselves is the test of
any party members. So uh, knowing this, knowing you're going to create
copies, you put the two, you put the fighter and the drew it
into the circle and left your friends suffer. So that's what you get,
all right. So then I will cast booming blade so that for and then
that will give me one swing with orphan splitter, who you aiming for?
You've got because of your reach, you could hit you coul hit any one
of them except for no, Actually, hang on, yeah, you can
hit one. He's got a ten foot reach. But there's also this armbies.
So I'm gonna I'm gonna roll a D six and say, let's see
here, what's the thirteen? So it could miss some people that Karen me,
So does a thirteen hit you? M it does not know? I
actually have an armor class? All right? Then yay armor? All right?
Uh, Hilda like big Hilda, builda you've get the bonus action.
What would you like to do slowly? Oh? God, fantastic. So
it's a it's a nine to hit. I think I'm not sure. This
is the first time I'm rolling it. It's a Chile plus six. Are
you telling me I rolled a nine? Really? You rolled a three?
You got six? Yeah? Yeah, you were. You were so excited
at being blended with mood you just couldn't be all right. Well, so
far we're off to some big misses, which is which is fantastic for the
group. You get a chance to like kind of get your bearings. But
next up is trink Karen. Trin Karen, you do have a floating sword
that you still had going you would like to keep. Oh yeah, we're
gonna. We're gonna because you smack people because I'm annoyed, I will bring
it right up next to them. Okay, I'll bring the sword right next
to them for you, unless you want it on the other side. No,
right next to him is fine. Fantastic. What do I need to
do to get a second attack on your on your character sheet, you'd act
with your spiritual weapon? Okay, I didn't know if that's a bonus action
to attack and you still have your action to do something if you'd like.
Oh so a twenty one does hit for eight four damage? Fantastic? Yes,
so I'm just going to be screaming incoherently at them because, damn it,
you still have an action. I just made you better. Yeah,
I just made you better, and you go and pull this shit. I
think I am going to try to run behind Gigi because she is bigger than
I am, and I know that she's over here in some general areas.
Her zombies are there. I think you just took all of Onweir's lights.
Yes, the dark I deserve it, all right. I would you like
one? Maybe DM kind of fit or just say fuck it and just have
fun oh fuck it, let's have fun. Okay, oh boy, okay,
hey, I'm all about this self prison. Okay, hey, so
for the sake, just for the okay, because because Missy is sitting in
the dark, I am going to put a torch on the map so you
can actually see your game. But you do not have light. Okay.
I just want you to actually be able to see because you don't know what's
going on. I don't want to I don't want to take away your immersion,
but your character cannot see. But I want Missy to be able to
see, all right. Uh. Next up in the turn order is little
Hilda back in the circle. Would you like to try to break for you?
Or you good where you're at. I'm healing my own ass, Thank
you very much, fantastic, So heel up nice thirteen get more points back
sounds good? Uh? Top of the order. On Weird you, Uh,
you can't see, but you can attack, and because because Gary's on
the other side, you get advantage, but you have disadvantage of which a
straight role if you want to attack. And just so you know, I
want both Hilda and Moved to realize the spiritual weapon that hit you. Guys
felt a spiritual weapon hit you in your guts and you felt been dead today.
Well I just got hit you just it's you just got It's like another
set of cramps at you. And you also took a firebolt to the face.
You both feel burning, but you take no damage. Clearly only a
male GM would think that was not normal. What cramps all the time?
Oh? What are you talking about? What? Hey, I'm not making
this about biology. I'm just saying cramps in general. You took it to
a place anyway, Moving on, since since it's I'm blind, it's dark,
I can't see. Maybe this makes it a little more fair because I
was horrible person and and did what I did to Hilda, So now this
is fair. I have to I have to work in the dark, so
I will attack, so fancilling out my year with the ship out of them?
Seventeen? Does it seventeen? Now? Give me that plus all the
sneak attack damage because because you do have some on the other side. Oh
got it, you get all not to do? Just attack again? Or
is that the damage? No, that was that was my my mouse accidentally
clicking twice when it shouldn't because it's a bad mouse and needs sorry, so
you hit the damage button for me. Yes, I'm getting there. That's
a bad mouse, it's a bad bad mouth. So total damage of fourteen
fantastic. Uh yeah, you connect. You do damage both Hilda and Mood.
You feel like you just got stabbed in the kidneys and on Weir,
would you like to also do you your off hand attack with your dagger?
Excuse me, not more misty? Sorry? No, onwere yeah? Why
not? Do it is on Weir though, Yeah, twenty two hits,
so just just the straight damage though, no bonuses. You get the plus
one because it's a plus one Daggers. You get the Daggers damage plus one,
so it's roll twenty twenty one. How is that possible? I don't
know. No, you already did the Steak Attact damage so it would probably
be yeah nine, okay, yeah, just be that's that's not possible.
Daggers only plus a D four plus one, so the most they could do
is five. It's well, I'm a D four plus four, take five.
I'll do five more. Okay. Oh okay. You don't get the
bonuses. You don't get the in the off hand attack. You don't get
your your deck sterity bonuses. Or anything like that. It's just the weapon
damage itself. If it's unless you're specialized in two handed fighting. I got
I actually, I actually am, but I don't know how to fix that
other than because I'm just but that it is that it is nine then okay,
okay, cool problem, fantastic Hillda and Moog, you feel another nine
points of damage hit you in the other kidney? All right? Just reminded
moog first birthday the circumcision Moog family guy around an all stop movement for were
you the pinata at your own birthday? It kind of sounds like it sounds
a bit like that. Yeah, all right, all right, so that
was on weird little Moog inside the circle? Are you do you want to
move another ray of frost? Ray of frost that's only an eight ac so
that will miss. Apparently this is a barrier against decent roles. Uh,
okay, I do not like how close they have gotten to me. So
first off, when you see like tren Kearns and behind you pushing you slowly
towards the things behind her, like no, thank you. Okay, I'm
taking Mademoiselle Calci with me. Okay, wait, do do any of them?
Uh? Trigger and ap attack. Oh well, Madam Crunchy get he
yes, so uh moog or you know, heild on. Either one of
you can take the reaction. Would like to swing your chilllelely or would you
like to swing orphans splitter at Madam Crunchy orphans? Or because they both were
they both were in range? Mm hmm, sorry, Gi, It's okay.
Twenty six sac got hits, no nine damage. I'm deli. One
of your teethling wards gets nicked and it's barely hanging on. You might need
some duct tape. Yeah, okay, okay, I don't okay, Well
that sucked, So I am going good do some magical gesticulation and becomes very
blurry. It's hard to see exactly where she is. I'm casting blur on
myself. I figured as much. I put two in two together. But
yeah, so you have disadvantage on attacking me now? Nah? All right,
and well no, Gary, Gary's gonna attack. Go Gary, Gary
gets advantage. Oh but okay, so he is he has plus three to
his weapon. I don't know what weapon he actually has. I never got
a list of what Geary's equipment was. Give him a short sword. I
don't give a ship. So it's a D six okay, okay. So
he's got a short sword. He gets that with it, and he is
going to take He's song with advantage, which advantage love advantage for Galley.
He deserves it. I don't know why, but he does because he's dead.
He has terrible This is why he is dead with a five and the
three. That is why Gary one was a natural one. M h by
Gary, No it's not. It was a two. It was a two.
Okay, h fantastic Gary swinging wildly and he's trying. Got you ever
seen he is? He a zombies the skeleton. He's a zombie. He's
still in the process of becoming a skeleton, so it hasn't sloughed off yet.
He's like, he's trying. You know, Mama loved me, and
it's just he has not earned your love. All right, But it is
the gollums turn, so I think so, uh, Hilda gets the action
and move gets the bonus action to clarify this has all of our abilities correct.
Oh good. I like how last week it was like I don't want
to click the button. Don't make me fight my friends. This week,
fuck them, fuck them all in the face like you are, I would
like to restore fifteen points of healing to itself. I know if you want
to miss the step next to Gigi and smash her up, but like,
yeah that works for me. Encounter spell, you counter spell? No you
don't. All right, So what level were you casting the healing? Four?
Okay, then I'll roll because I'm not wasting. Well, no,
you rolle a second level. It's a I rolled second level. I clicked
on the wrong one. Counterspell automatically counter spells and counter spells a third level
spell. So I meant to roll four. I really did. It just
makes me use more than just my can trips. God, no, not
that. So yeah, yeah, counted spelling healing is my favorite. Counterspell
have fun? All right, Moog does Big Moove does have any cool?
But uh yes, actually so big Big Moog will look at uh at his
Hilda half with disgust, and then you will activate Action Surge and do two
attacks on the zombie. I mean, who knows Gary, Gary? By
Gary? By Gary, well only one hits it's sporty, but yeah,
that's pretty much by Gary. Six ac for fourteen damage. I'll put Gary.
I don't know if you have another Gary, you're gonna use some other
times. I'll just put him down here off the map for now. But
Gary is rancid paste trin car and give me a deck sterity saving throw to
see how much of the pace gets on your face and in your mouth.
That was because that's a big swinging. You're right behind him. So no,
he's not dead. He's not dead. He he has twenty nine hit
points total my class, what's coming off? So it is he's not dead,
but he's lost some more parts. Sorry, I had to double check
his the zombies actual stats. But you said he's had twenty nine. Twenty
nine is his max? All right? So zombie brains and guts gets in
your mouth? Hm em inside the circle regular move is like go big moog.
All right. So now Gary's got a little hit point counter Yeah all
right. I don't know if you can see him or not, and I
can. But all right, that's your first swing and second swing and that
was your action, serge, so cool, all right, Next up is
tren Karen. You can get mouth washed bonus action. Some essential oils in
there, okay, but bonus action. You do have your spiritual weapon.
Oh yeah, no, no, no, we're gonna take another swing at
that because that was most foul. I just gotta get okay, thing to
click over Here we go, twenty hits for four damage. Sweet, well,
I can see it popped in for us. You hit for for a
little bit damage. I'm okay with any damage at this point because that was
nasty. And I'm going to run around behind miss crauschy you over here to
see if I can get the hell away from any other like following my bobby.
You have an off abilities because you have an action, so you still
have an action to use. That was just your bonus action. You still
have an action. Yeah. I'm still gonna hide back here first because don't
have a lot of hit points. Don't want to get hit, okay,
And then I can still use my regular weapons even though I've got the not
that far away, you can't. It's a crossbow, oh yeah, if
you have raised weapon, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, it's a
crossoea. So we'll all fire that up. And that was a fourteen,
so three more damage and I will make rude gestures and then dig in my
bag for my peppermint oil to wash out my mouth. Thank you, totally
makes sense to me. I don't blame you at all. Yeah, that's
that was nasty Hilda, Little Hilda in the circle. Can I see,
Gigi? Can you see on the map? Yes? Then yes, feel
better, bitch. That would be thirteen points of healing to g uh.
I am signed that I counter spelled the giant ugly vision of youth healing,
but she did not disilve it. I don't care. Top of the order
on weird what would you like to do? Sorry? I left you in
the dark. I deserve it, I do, I do, I do
you know what? I'm swinging again because I got to figure out a way
to get my friends out of this circle. And that's the only way right
is to do. I don't think. I don't blame you at all.
Go to swinger. We are swinging, and we were swinging except except it's
dark and I can't see. So I just swung in a circle, didn't
I? All right? Can you do me a favor and me a D
ten. We'll just do it anyway. Roll a D ten for me,
Okay. I like to have consequences form a natural one. I want to
see how bad the consequence is. Oh no o oh by double ones,
double ones. Yeah, that's the worst. Okay. So here's what happened.
You went to stab at your rapier. You missed contact altogether, but
you hit pieces of the clothing that looks like that they're wearing, and the
body shifted and yanked your rapier out of your hands. It then went flinging
off in the direction. You don't know where it went in the dark.
Uh uh, good luck. You have your dagger, so you can now
do your offhand strike with your dagger. We'll just do that because that's certainly
gonna end up better. Well, it's either time you stab yourself in the
throat and I don't want to go with that. So, but you lose
your weapons so much better. That's a miss. Wait, unfortunately twelve misses,
just barely. Okay. So you're standing in the dark, you lost
your favorite weapon and you're holding a dagger. I don't know how many drops
of P are coming out if it was me, seven at least seven drops
of P. But you know I'm a big scaredy cat. So uh yeah,
and so okay, well I did want to ask. I did want
to ask, can I actually see the light that that is over across from
where where Gigi and tren Karen are. Yes, you can. So what
I'm gona do is I'm gonna put a light over in that direction. You
should be able to see that in your map. That's roughly where they're at.
Okay, okay, can you can you see that light in your map?
I can I see control? Ill? I can see it? Yes?
Yes, okay? Good? So huh I mean I'm done? Right?
Or can I move? Uh? If you want to move, you
can, but bear in minds it will get a swing at you opportunity attack.
I've been standing right next to them, They've had every opportunity, so
you know what's different. Fair true? Yeah, I'm I'm trying to move.
So okay, so you run over. Let me guess I run over
my rapier and stab myself right, no, no, no, no,
no, no five. Yeah, you ran just outside of melee range.
So if what if you want to take a swing at the fleeing on weird
feel free? Sure? Oh please do do it? See for ten what
lesson? Don't run away from the bad guy in the dark. I just
hearded who the lesson is. Oh that is a good lesson, alrighty uh.
Next up would be uh, Hilda in the circle. No, no,
I went I healed Gigi didn't or no is this next round? Oh?
Excuse me, it was on weird my mistake. I was looking at
the bottom. Yes, Moog all right, Moog watches what's going on when
he screams out Moog party being injured, Moog partying, embarrassing Moog, and
you will try to break out of watching them. That's fair, that's fair,
honestly. Athletics roll DC twenty to break free twenty two. Uh you
get out. Uh. The Moog component of the giant disappears, leaving only
the uh Hilda components. Move move will turn back to Hilda in the lick,
you know, in the circle. Be like, sorry, if half
faced orc move have to kill you now, it's probably a dream of mine.
Okay, that was your action to break free, and you have movement
left in a bonus action. I mean it was the king that nobody would
have like been surprised. Yeah, I think I think, I think that'll
do Uh, that'll do me for this round. I'll I'll come back in
the next. Well, just let's just to remind you that uh it used
its version of action surge, not yours. So I'm just throwing it out
there. No, I use mine during the last battle. Oh okay,
they never mind. Okay. Then you are standing on a bunch of rubble
and that's where you're at for the moment. Fantastic gg Okay, so you
are still there? Okay, I am going to he tolls did so he
killed the Nah this is a bad idea. But uh, make a wisdom
saving throw? Got it? Is it? Everything we do a bad idea?
All the all the saving throws are from the gollumn, so it's not
from them. Twelve No ding dong rippers here. Oh ow, that's very
good. All of you here are tolling goo goong. But I think I
feel it a little more. Uh. It's like the brown note. Some
of you might have pooped your pants a little bit. Okay, uh,
which I can think doing your bonus action. G Garry, he's gonna limp
his way on over, okay, and I'm going to just keep scooching my
happy little but oh way, why do you take my defenses? I left
you? Gally, He's half there. Carrie's a smudge. He's got four,
he's got four, He's got what three hit points left? His jaws
hanging off like this and now at this point this is this is unacceptable.
Oh, go on, explain that one a little bit better. Married Now
you know what you said. You need to cut out certain things for like,
you know, uh, certain videos, little snippets. That's a line
for keeping that one. Oh okay, that's it. I have I have
one away and Cassidy and Gong. I'm done so many jokes all right,
Uh Hilda, where would you like to move to to giant Hilda to smash
up your friends? You've got an on wheel right there. You got to
move over here. These are the guys. These chumps ran up north.
You've got a lot of movement. Oh you're going after on Weir. Okay,
I don't know why. Yeah. Can I turn into a bear and
maul her him? Hundred percent? Me find a barrel fast? Thank you?
Welcome? Hey yo for Gary? Is it cool? If? Is
it cool? If I just use the like zombie basic stats and okay,
let me pull, let me find one. I just want to see a
giant bear on the map. I won't lie. That's totally Oh my god,
he's perfect. Rare face. The Wrath of Teddy Rupskin that's so much
worse than an actual bear. For those who aren't watching, it's a stuffed
teddyir goodness, grace, what is do you buy any chance to know you're
challenge ratings for this level of druid nonfortunately? Okay, well just we'll say
it's well, I'll give you just be kind and we'll say it's a well
you get a brown Bear level one. So would you like me to take
some swings with you, because I've got the stats of bear up in front.
Would you please not all the ship out of on were all right?
First attack because he gets you got two attacks comingted on were number one?
Fifteen? Is that? Owie? It was a fifteen hit? Fine?
Uh, it's all your character. You're the only alber classes fifteen. Yeah,
it hits you for six damage? Uh, Peddy Malin and now what's
that's its bite? Now it comes it's claw. A sixteen is also is
going to hit you for eleven? Would you like to use your rogue skill
in half one of you like the eleven or the six? Yes? Please?
Could we have to all so you take a total loven damage? Okay,
God, Benny, this could go on a bit because now it's got
a bear's hit points, so this is interesting. Oh right, Uh,
you changed you attacked that your botus actually changed your attack, So I believe
giant Hilda is done. Next up is true, Karen, I don't know
that I have mega bear fact that it is turned into a giant bear based
on where I am and the light source. No, but you do hear
a growling sound and you yell, oh my god, it's a bear.
That could be a slight hint. I mean it could be, but then
again, we've seen Hilda go hungry. So no, not gonna believe that
it's anything like that at all. And I'm just gonna still continue to swing
the spiritual weapon in that general direction of things happening, and it's gonna be
a twenty twenty will hit, So give me some damage. Oh five four
damage? Fantastic, it will in the first one that actually click through was
an eleven, then I'll take eleven. Yeah, not a problem. And
okay, the stuffing flies everywhere. It looks horrifying. Hilda, you feel
like you feel like a kid at Christmas, but you were given to that
kid and the toy story like like a sid who's like torturing. That's what
it feels like. So oh wow, yeah childhood, Oh yeah, coming
back to it. But I'll still go ahead and let loose a crossbow bolt
in that general direction as you should. And that was a twenty three.
That twenty three hits for another seven damage. Fantastic. How I feel like
a pincushion now? Okay? Uh, you definitely like you hit it right
in a little butt. You hit it in its button eye and Hilda again
you have searing eye pain now, so no, the button got drops.
Damn it. That works for me? All right? Did you want to
stay where you're are? Do you want to move? Uh? I'm okay
for right now? Okay, Hilda in the circle? Anything you'd like to
do? Uh, I've got one shot, so I will try to dispel
magic on the barrier. All right? What level you casting to spell magic
at? I only have three? Okay, so it's a roll off,
so give me just click on your wisdom stat because that's your modifier anyways.
So it was a D twenty plus your wisdom stat to see if you roll
against the h the spell roll the twenty Yep, not a problem. Okay,
So one second, my DC is fourteen? Or are we doing it
contested. No, it's a tested role. Basically, it's a ten plus.
It's a base ten plus number of levels is the DC that you've got
to roll against you You clearly beat it, so don't know sweat. So
the circle goes down, The teddy Bear dissolves away, the gollumn is replaced
with no one to fuel its spell, and you are out of the all
and you're actually you're right there, so the spell is technically down for the
moment. Okay, can I move, hi, move, move literally moved
five feet. That's the end of my turn. Okay, top of the
order of fighting. If I can't see, move tiny on Weird's your turn.
Let's go, Oh, cowardly little man, move, move into flank
with moo, and we will kill this thing. Okay, we have them,
tiny little man. Of course you can't see, but that's fine,
said Gary. Into the circle. That'll be fun. I'm following this voice.
All right, are you walking? You run into the column one,
so I assume you're walking towards the collumn. I'll walk into them. It's
not a one, but it is, as you know what, I applaud
your bravery because you know, I truly do Uh it was Moog. It
was all moo. That was that is your action with your dagger. You
can which hands and trying to dagger with your off hand. If you'd like,
oh, okay, I didn't. I mean I'm a cordial d m
Well, I mean it's just transferring weapon. You're still attacking your off hand.
I assume you'll have other daggers to thirteen dramatic flourish. But you miss.
Yeah, a dramatic miss. It is. I like to set my
players up for success. I will still punch you as hard as I can,
though, all right, unfortunately also misss. So it look really cool
when you switched hands. Yeah, it looks really cool, and I still
miss so in the dark so no one saw. Yeah, I can't see.
So it's like, as far as you can, no one saw.
Okay, uh, little Moog. All right, Google will go over here
sitting flank column. You hurt friends, make Moog look bad. We're embarrassing.
Move booming blade and then spring in two with orphan splitter sounds fantastic,
miss and a hitch. The second one hits, so that's seven thunder damage
and ten slashing. Not a problem. If he moves, then he'll take
additional damage. No, I don't think he takes thunder on the initial isn't
it. It's just if they move. No. No, at my level,
it's I see what you're saying. Okay, all right, cool,
he's not looking good. He's looking rough. So next up is okay,
move, give a bonus action like to do. Are you good? Ah?
I'm good? Okay gz okay, Well, no reason to mess with
a good thing. So ding Dong told the bell, make me a wisdom
savings row, please, sir, okay, give me moments. I don't
like to all. That's x you know, and that is a two D
til twelve damage. Not a problem. It's looking big, big more,
ding Dong, ding dongs, should you give me a favor and be soconda.
Just give me a perception check. Mmm. I do not like to
see things. Oh it's it's super easy to notice that a rape year sticking
out of Madam Crunchy's chest. So oh you got the weapon and good girl
where that went? Oh? Yes see, this is why I always get
women zombies. They're much more effective. All right. Uh, it's the
clay Gollums term. So let us just to be nice. I'll try to
slam Moog because you're racist. Scoot Gary closer to his wife, may kill
the jealous. Uh, it's an eighteen hit you moog. You're muted,
And yes, that probably would be a lot better if I took myself off
mute. Yes, normally an eighteen hits, but instead my reaction goes off
and casts shield on myself. Fantastic. Uh. Then for the second attack,
it's gonna turnun a punch and wear natural do. I go flying backwards
across the landscape. You take twenty points of damage. I go flying backwards
across the lands constitution saving and I'm unconscious. Stop embarrassing. Yeah, if
you're unconscious, I'm gonna put you over here. You got hit hard.
Oh yeah, it doesn't matter you're unconscious anyway, all right? Cool?
Uh? And I think I mentioned that. You know what for the fuck
it's going to go. It's going to go berserk because it's under a certain
amount of hit points. Fantastic. Oh it didn't go berserk, very well,
it did not. It's it was gonn attempt to go to berserk and
do more attacks, but it failed. It has to get a six,
okay, so and it got a one. So that's the end of its
turn. Uh so yeah, true, carn you are up. Yeah,
I still have that spiritual weapon. So yes, you didn't swing it around
even more? Uh big flourish yep, yeah nineteen baby sweet, I'm getting
weird all right, so nineteen for ten four stamage. Okay, cool,
fantastic. It's it is wobbly. Clay bits are flying everywhere. That's what
you get from exactly, uh moog. You can either try to dodge it
or not, but like a lot of clay's not flying into your face,
like just sick putty from that mighty swig laughs as he's covered with the blood
of enemies. It wriggles while it's on your flesh. We'll just call him
instead of moog. Take facial second birthday, you know as well, Yes,
I will fantastic get a drink care smack. Oh yeah, that's yeah.
The creature falls dead in a big puddle of goo on top of moon
bathe in your enemy's Moog falls flat and uh moog, you look like uh
like Peter Vankman or or at the end of like when all the when all
the marshmallow falls on the sky from the guy from the E p a Ghostbusters,
but it's all like ship Brown. So moo ork ork not bathe.
But amongst his rubble you find the circular gemstone. Haha, look a move.
So now you have both pieces for the locking mechanism. Uh that was
in the center of the thing. So we are out of combat. Oh
excuse me, hang on real fast. That was the creature, he went,
that was from carent Hilda. You are up. What the fuck?
Get up, you useless human? All right, just make sure six points
of healing to and we're crow. Now we're out of combat. You are
alive. Thank you, don't mention it. Moog suggests we take short rest
and then go down so that cowardly Moog friends not die again. Agreed,
I could use a ladder. And I actually had to use spells that time,
and not just my can clips. So I am exhausted. I am
exhausted. Yeah, yeah, I burned all my spells. I need.
I need to cleanse with my special facial cleanser and my special polished for my
teeth because I ingested Gary, I use I used two whole spells, y'all
unheard of? Well I want I'm waiting to hear because here's the thing.
There's no rush, you're not on a time table. You could take a
long rest if you wanted to. In fact, I highly recommend a camp
about so that Gigi could tell the stories of what it was like inside the
whale for the last like two weeks, what that was late. Yeah,
that's what I want a long rest for. Yeah. Yeah, Gary will
provide the sound effects, so for thea So for the sake of the narrative,
you guys will camp out up here, take a long rest, and
in the morning, where it's not nighttime, be able to go and have
explore down to the dark dark dungeon. Uh in the morning when it's not
nighttime. It's they don't know. Yeah, that's madam crunchy sort as far
as I'm concerned, just a glowing plus one rap. You're just sticking right
out of her chest, right between right between the breastacles. So well,
I'll talk to or I'm good with with zombie ladies of a certain age,
maybe convince her to trade it for something. Well, you just do the
cool pirate thing. You grab it, kicker and pull it out at the
same time. No, fuck you, is this my zombie? You don't
get a vote I'm not afraid of the zombie. I'm afraid of of Jiji.
That's there too. But for the sake of this story, this is
where we'll let off junior adventures. UH pick us up next time when we
will dive deep it deep down to the dungeons of whatever the fuck this place
is to search for the uh the gem of fu Mark. But that brings
us the end of this particular adventure. But do we have questions from our
from our fans at home? We have one question on the discord. One
question you guys suck, get better, get good scrub All right, so
our friend Cal asks, what is the best and worst job you have ever
had other than writing? And why? Interesting? Okay, the worst job,
I know. My worst job retail. You go first retail. I
have done Hallmark, which was an exercise in patients I didn't have. And
I have also worked midnight Black Friday at Walmart, which is a special How
on earth I feel like you should get like a purple heart for that?
Yeah? Yeah, I think I get to skip purgatory and go straight to
heaven after that or whatever however that's supposed to go. I don't remember the
best though, it's probably one of the ones where I can use my superpower
of ADHD and like switch channels mentally back and forth really really fast. So
the current best job is actually selling books at the Falstaff table at conventions.
You guys are a job con You guys will be at phil con right,
John will be there. I won't be there for that one, but yeah,
there's there's going to be a list of twenty twenty four. John and
I have finally sat down and finalized where we're will be headed, so look
for that on the fall Staff website. So yeah, my worst job was
I worked at a movie theater and I was the only floor staff who was
over the age of eighteen and Showgirls was there, and I literally was the
only person who could stand and watch the card. I had to stay in
the theater because the owners were insisting that no one under eighteen got in,
So I had to watch show Girls about fifteen times in a row over the
course of a weekend, watch what's her Name from? Saved by the Bell,
Get Off on foul A, Trade's at the Pool. I has a
seminal moment in my young life, and I it was a thing. It
was definitely a thing. My best job. Gosh, I love being an
author. Why can't I say that? Darn it question limiting all of us,
that's what all of us would say. Yeah, I would say probably.
The The next best job I had was I was a bookkeeper for a
small law firm and I had purple hair, and I could just sit in
the back and confuse people for working at a small Southern law firm with purple
hair because everyone were was really nice. So my worst last entire day.
I won't say the company, but it was. They were a major consumer
electronics company. They do a lot of Android phones, and they hired me.
I told them I don't want they hired me. I showed up and
they were like, Oh, the job we hired you for we decided to
get rid of, so we're giving you a different job, a job I
specifically told them I didn't want, which also entailed a demotion from the from
the job I was supposed to get. So I was like, let me
give it a try. I was there for the day I met my team.
I couldn't stand any of them, and at that point I was just
like the next day, I'd like I walked in and I just walked into
hr and said here's my badge. By I mean, it was just it
was just one thing after the other, was like it was like a bait
and switch. My best, though, was I spent some time back in
the early wild West days of the Internet with AT and T WorldNet and I
absolutely loved working there, Like I loved the team, I loved my boss.
My boss was the type of who was basically just like he was just
like, just get the job done. He's like, I don't care where
you work, I don't care how long you work. Just get the job
done. And we got no problems. And it was it was a great
time when like you know that it was a smart team. They gave us
a lot of freedom and we just we just had a lot of fun.
And for a period of about a week because we needed we needed some new
bit of JavaScript that had just come out at the time, I convinced my
boss that my job was to surf porn for about a week. Wow,
because they were the only ones using this this this type of JavaScript at the
time. Wow. My best was. My best was working the middle school
library because you know, as as long as the I was working the circulation
desks, so as long as the return cart was empty because everything been put
away, and there were no that needed my help. I could do whatever
I wanted, so I could serve the net or I could write or whatever,
and the people were cool. Plus well, no, I didn't do
that, but I got weekends off. I got two weeks at Christmas,
I got all summer, so that was pretty awesome. I loved working there.
So my worst job was was food service back in college. One summer
I worked at a Mexican restaurant, and I say Mexican because it it served
tortilla chips and melted cheese, and so that's the closest thing that it got
to actual Mexican food. And I'm pretty sure it was a front for money
laundering, but because i'm I think I was the only employee that summer.
But but yeah, that was the worst because it was hours and hours,
it was very hot, and nobody ever came in, so it was boring
as hell. So I'm going to go with my best and worst was the
same job. And it was also my first job, which I think I've
talked about before, which is when I sold HINTI at anime cons at the
age of fifteen. Yeah, uh yeah, fifteen sixteen. My very first
job was selling HINTI and so I had to card people when I was not
old enough to look at the things that I was selling, and also show
Girl the layer. The layers of Hinti were so tall that I had to
stand on a chair to be able to see over it and actually like see
what was happening. And yeah, that one was was also super super It
was super fun because I got to work in an anime con and talk anime
and I'm a huge web so it was delightful to get to talk anime with
people. But yeah, the the the people buying the hint I sometimes thought
that I was not I was an advertisement. Uh, and that got really
awkward and uncomfortable very quickly. Yeah, but it was. It was super
fun. I did work with that booth like for several years at a bunch
of different conventions. I made friends with a bunch of different voice actors.
It was great. It was super fun. Awesome, man, that's right,
also awful at the same time. So that's fine, two for one
special. Let me see my my worst job. I had a lot of
different jobs in the Air Force because over the twenty years you do, you've
got your career title and the bajillion jobs you do while you're under that.
I did a lot of stupid ones where you have to like just sit up
all night long and like down basically prepare stuff for other people. But there
was a time when I was up in Alaska and it was not the job
per se, but it was the shifts we were working. We were working
these weird, weird Panela schedule was like two on, two off, but
it was Here's like, it's twelve hour midnight shifts over over and over and
over and over. But in Alaska during the winter, so you work twelve
hours. By the time you get off of work, the sun already came
up. It's like, so you never see the sun. You go home,
go to sleep, the sun comes up and goes down while you're asleep.
When you eventually wake back up, the sun is down. You go
to work, it's dark, and you go home. It's dark. You
wake up, it's dark, and repeat for several weeks in a row.
And the lack of vitamin D, like everyone gets really pale, the teeth
get really long, and you start wanting to hunt people for just sustenance and
flesh. It was kind of miserable. And it's also cold as shit up
there and during the winter time and some of the life you're going to that
minus fifty coming off the polar ice caps with the winds. So that was
a rough time, but in a weird way, I kind of liked it.
But my best job, I know this sounds stupid long John Silver's a
seafood shop. I worked there four years and it was my first except for
the time my parents made me work at the Christian summer camp for somewhmer and
I learned a lot of like blue collar work and just work with my hands.
But this is my first quote job. Some of the people I worked
with, I learned my work ethic from these of these people because they it
was a fast food job. A lot of people took it seriously, and
I learned how to like this is crunch time, shut your ass, get
your work done, work hard, and then play hard. Clean. You
learn to clean, you do to work. Blah blah blah. I used
to have to pull the fry rats out every once a week and get behind
them. Have you ever seen like seafood has been sitting out for a week
behind the greasy friars? Yeah, the smells alone, Like so when my
son was born and he's shitting so far up his back down to his hair,
like I've coated and proven. I'm like, I don't care. I've
seen worse. I worked at Long John Silvers and it's one of those like
I still have friends from like thirty years ago that when I was sixteen,
you know, like I still have those friends to this day, so I
can reach out to any of them one right now, like hey, man,
like I just saw them from two weeks ago at a Halloween party,
a very good friend of mine, because we all, we all experienced this
like way back in the day. So yeah, food service is a good
trauma bond friendship starter. It is. It is. It's like retail.
Once he's worked a Black Friday, you're never the same. But I see
you, Teresa, I see you. Yes, this this Long John Solvers
was in the mall, so we worked black Fridays. So I've been there.
Wo, I know the mall thing I did worked at Orange Julius when
I was when I was a teen, the mall. Yeah, I worked
at Brewsters School. Two years of junior college is when I did my my
intern at a Long John Silver's. I did a family a restaurant from the
time I was sixteen, and they were a Greek family, and they tended
to speak Greek, and they had to teach me what they were saying because
I would just repeat it and that would get them in trouble with their elderly
family members. It would come through, so they called me Papa Gallos and
I could basically run a kitchen and swear like a trucker. Nice. That's
awesome. Do we have any Facebook questions? Why? Yes, we do?
Do we just want to do We just want to do one. Since
we did one Discord question, we'll do one Facebook question for tonight. I'm
running a little well, we're at about what the hour and twenty minute mark?
Yeah, yeah, so you wanted one to keep it balance balent,
Yeah, and all things well. In that case, John Judkins would like
to know. He says, you must eat one meal every day for a
year straight. What meal do you choose? And I'm assuming he means you
can only eat the same food every night for a year, So what what
food do you choose? That's actually pretty easy because yes, I mean,
pizza never gets old. The lactose intolerant respectfully disagrees. Yeah, actually I
was gonna go hamburgers and fries because I am I never don't want hamburgers and
fries. Yeah, it'd probably go with something like that if if I didn't
have to make it. This is easy because I've done it. A bowl
of cereal every night for dinner. And I did that for like more than
a year straight because that was like my like easily sixty eight months every night,
just a bowl of that's my last meal, a bowl of cereal before
bet. I can eat cereal any meal, anytime, anytime. I I
have, like the healthy stuff get me, like you know, the the
honey bunches of oats or the I enjoy that stuff with the raisin nut brand.
I love a good bowl of cereal. It makes me happy. Well,
we knew, so I'd probably go egg and cheese. I's just a
good old I care for Cereal. Yeah, you're a cereal killer. That's
actually what I dressed up as. I took a hockey mask and covered it
with like like captain crunch of fruit loops and I got a butcher's bib and
covered in spray blood. And yeah, it's a cereal killer for Halloween that
does not surprise me. I'll send pictures. Yes, no, I mean
we eat Japanese food sometimes for just weeks on end, so it would probably
be probably be Robin. You can see that. Yeah, that'd be good.
My family would go for that. What's the worst job in sci fi?
Other than the guy's got to clean the holid deck. I was gonna
say the trend if it's not the holidack cleaner, it's the transporter scrubber,
you know, for all those accidents. Yeah, he exploded, Yeah,
yeah, he was inside out and then he exploded exactly, the greatest,
greatest movie ever. It's fantastic. It's my favorite Star Trek movie, you
know what. And you know they just like you know, they just scooped
that stuff and put it in like you know, in the proto matter for
like you know, for the replicators. Yeah, it just goes in the
replicator with all the other matter. Yeah. You do kind of wonder about
waste reclamation in those closed systems exactly, like a squeegee in the and the
and the holidack. Like this is gross, this is gross. I mean,
we eat hot dogs, so we can't really turn our nose up at
what they throw in a replicator. I don't. I do not eat hot
dogs. There's gotta be something that. Oh, I'm sure there is,
just not hot dogs. I'm like, come on, there's a certain amount
of rat droppings that's allowed and everything. So on. Yeah, hey,
I love liver mush. So I had liver mush last week and it was
so good. Sos. I was. I was telling this story on Facebook,
but I worked at also Orange Julius, at an amusement Wait did I
tell this story last time with the spider? I don't think so. But
a spider in the drink? Yeah, yeah, yea, I have not
heard that. I'm done with the story already. Okay, well, just
to reiterate in case you didn't hear, you know, I was. I
was working at this amusement park, also an Orange Julius, and I'm pouring
one out for for for a customer at one point, and I see this
little spider crawling up that like decide trying to like you're trying to escape the
like you know, the deluge. And I was a little too slow and
I covered it and I'm like, I'm not gonna obviously give this to the
customer, so I put it down and I want to go grab a different
cup. The customer immediately grabs it and starts lurping it down, and I'm
just like, that'll be a buck fifty. Hell yeah, I don't know
what's more horrifying, the spider or inflation. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna
go with inflation. The spider. You know, the spider didn't mean it.
It was just wrong place, wrong time. But and the customer it
could have waited five fucking seconds, you know, yep, yeah, do
not clearly have more important things to do. I mean, I understand orange
juliuses were pretty good, but I don't know if they were that good.
I don't hear. I've never had Oh, I have never had an orange
Julius. I only ever had I've never see my grandmother. But in all
fairness, the pineapple ones were the best. That would be good. As
we're all mulling over, what does a pineapple orange Julius staste like? Can
you think of a better way, a more poetic way to end this session?
I was wondering if it's too late to go out to the QT and
get me a slushy? So never too late for QT is the number one
overtold joke when serving a pineapple orange Julius's gee, do you have any rum
to go with us? Yeah? I would have thought it makes it taste
better. Let's at least be full on pervert. No, that is how
you end an episode. Yep, all right? Do anyone to lead us
out? Lead us in prayer? I think I did with the semen joke?
Amen one editing this when they're Steve, have you edited just right?
You can have sima joke cut back to it's in my mouth? So yeah,
you can have one. An Bye bye. Authors and Dragons brought to
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