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You're on tropic time now, made a

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decision. A face, it's sunny
sun on iheadasion nice. Nice, So

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what's up? Everybody? Welcome to
for crying out? Hey what's that?

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My god? Now we're just going
to go back to going what Kayla?

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Do you remember that? Right?
I do? Yeah? Do you remember

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where's the beef? I don't remember
that one, Clara, Where's the beef

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was a long lot longer, yeah, long long time ago compared to yeah,

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you know what? That just made
me think of because I think I

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have a d D is that on
clipped the show clipped. There were a

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couple of times when stuff that was
I believe happening like a long time ago.

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Yes, they were used phrases that
they use now, like TikTok like

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and I was like, that is
freaking lazy writing, right, I don't

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remember what it was, but it
was like, oh, that's such a

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vibe or something that's like queen speak
TikTok speak, And I'm like, nobody

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said that in the freaking nineties.
Yeah, I know, But was it

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so wait clipped. I was trying, I would say, thinking about that,

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but cliped took place, so it
was the I just finished watching it.

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But what years was it happening.
I think it was happening like not

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that long ago though, like I
think it happened with the Donald Sterling stuff

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was probably maybe like eight years ago, yeah, five years ago, eight

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years ago. It was still before
a few of the phrases, a few

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of the phrases were the year it
was phrases more than I do. Yeah,

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so twenty fourteen, twenty fourteen,
so ten years a year ago.

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But also I feel like they were
doing flashbacks to much even earlier stuff with

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the Clippers, Donald Sterling stuff.
I don't know. I just remember hearing

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stuff and being like nobody started saying
that until like a year ago, two

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years ago, right, yeah,
yeah, that's that is lazy. You

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know. Do you remember the episode
where they were like, where's the beef?

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I was like, hey, Dad
is eighty? Now your guys are

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way off. Let us say hi
to our fabulous people, like fabulous is

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it? Yeah? Yeah, our
special fabulous Aaron Dirty Sanchez and Sarah Sefano

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she's our Paisano. And Leslie was
still coughing. Boy, it's crazy.

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And Alicia go Monday from the City
of on Monday. And Kelly Brandt she

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will definitely get you in her car. We're back on to open show.

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Cute Va so hot. I think
ish Va pays. I think he's married

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now. I remember when he was
engaged and they're having a baby. Really

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yes, ah, congratulations. Now
he's gonna listen to our show right and

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years ago, Yes, put her
on our show. It's gonna be like,

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why are these women talking about your
ass all the time. I don't

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like that. Maybe don't have her
listen to our show. Gabby and Missy

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Oh, there they were at Eishan's
wedding. Valerie Bubba Fenwick gets sit out

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of the park, Polly, we
love your your missus, Butterworth Pancakes,

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syrup Zyrup, Athena Ginshirt, love
your makeup. Yeah, Elizabeth Williamson,

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we love all of your every single
one of them. Yes, and Rita

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Basinette loves to rock them. Jacob
is so Growley, Leslie is the costing

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people still, Nikki call your girl
Aaron? Who does Katie's rolling on?

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E Kelly Laddie do Ashley chic,
Dick is frolicking. Jennifer's needs to stand

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up, Sandra, It's not easy
being green. Now, Christa, you

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make us want a streap? Yes
she do. Wow. So it's like

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the freakin' uh, it's like a
safari in my backyard really why, I

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mean, it is like a jungle
out there literally. So okay, I

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know I've talked about animals. First
there was the cockerroaches, and I know

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I say cockerroach because my mom says
cockroach. I've always said it that way.

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But first was that. Now I
haven't seen anything now, uh Okay.

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So because of the fourth of July, I was gonna be gone all

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day from the house. I got
phil some like good like chewy treats,

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like these bones that he likes that
I got. I get from once in

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a while for a special treat.
But it's so dirty. And then you

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know, you get them and there's
like beef on the ball. It's they're

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big for a big right, so
that you won't eat it whole. Right,

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So we were I was gonna be
gone all day and the later of

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like later in the afternoon. So
I figured I'd get him this bone and

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he can sit outside for like a
couple hours enjoying his bone, and then

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when I leave, you know,
bring him back inside. Okay, So

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he has this bone and we do
all that. The next day, I

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have the you know, I'm sitting
by the window in my house and I

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see this. It looked like a
frickin' to me. It looked like a

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lion jumping out of the So in
my backyard there's a landscape where it goes.

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It's butted up against the like the
foothill mountains, okay, and it's

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all it's all horse you know,
those horse tails they call him where they

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can get stuck in, you know, they're like prickly, and they're long

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foxtails. Foxtails, thank you,
okay, foxtails. So there those plants

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are all in my backyard on the
on the on the side of the mountain.

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Then there's a retaining wall and there's
the fence and everything that I set

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up. So it's really all those
foxtail bushes. It's camouflage you can't see,

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but it's in my back yard.
So out of nowhere, this like

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coyote just jumps out onto the grass
up against fire sliding glass door. Phil's

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luckily inside. He's going nuts and
the thing like I go, oh my

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god, and I jump up and
I go, you know, I like

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hit the glass and he takes off, but he was going towards you know,

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the bone out there. So I
he takes off, and I was

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like, oh my god. I've
never seen a coyote in my backyard like

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that ever since we've lived there.
I got you didn't have little dogs that

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well. No, imagine if I
had a little chihuahua outside and I was,

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you know, or even if Phil
was outside. I don't know.

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They say that they don't really come
around big dogs, but I I don't

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know, so right, yes,
tru this thing is like had the balls

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and the because the bone was by
the glass. So he came and like

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wanted to get the bone. The
bone was on the inside though the bone

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was aside on the grass. Oh, so he didn't grab the bone and

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take off. He was going for
it, but I scared him. When

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he heard the bang, he took
off and left. It was like a

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scaredy cat. And I couldn't see
because he jumped back into the bushes.

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I couldn't see where, you know, how he got in or anything.

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And so okay, So then like
Natalia's home and I just told her what

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happened, and she was freaking out. She's like, we got it.

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I told her, I go,
we got to look all around that fence.

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There's fence way up at the top
of the hill, you know,

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like behind the bushes and the foxtails. So we had to like, you

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know, put sweatpants on rain boots, like you know, hoodie because there's

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like spider webs and trees and bushes
and all kinds of brush you know that

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we had to like so we she
went one side, I went the other

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side, and there's a hole.
There was a hole in the chain link

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fence, you know, about the
size of a frisbee. And I was

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like, okay, great, this
is how they're getting in. And so

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I got there. We had we
have a big boulder, and I just

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pushed it right up against the hole
and that like there's no way, like

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it's so heavy, like we just
pushed it up and think okay. So

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then I felt okay. But then
like Sonny came home and he was like,

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you know, I've heard they can
hop fences that tall, you know,

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like six to eight feet tall.
They can hop the fences if they

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get you know, something behind them
whatever to leap onto. What they do

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is they put their paws together and
then they just hoist each other like Scooby

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Doo. Just go out and catch
them, and they're just like piled yeah,

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stacked on top of each other and
then pulling each other up by the

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pause yeah grab my tail. So
I know there's so now I'm like freaked

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out. And then okay, so
I get the bone inside, I spray

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the water down and like you know, spray the lawn down so that it

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doesn't have like any smell remnants maybe
of the bone or whatever. Then like

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the next that night, okay.
So we go to fourth of July.

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I come home that night for some
reason I don't know. Oh, like

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that, the the ac kicks on
sometimes and my door, you know,

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goes open because the suction of the
house. Anyway, that happened, and

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I look up and I could see
the motion light in our backyard is on.

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And I get up and there's two
coyotes, two on our grass.

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Oh my god, by our sliding
door in our backyard, and they're just

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like smelling, smelling. And now
I'm like, okay, what the fuck?

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So that was yeah, So now
I'm like, and then is there

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a doggy door that Phil can go
in and out? No? Okay,

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I know, I know. So
then and then now yesterday, okay,

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that happened. Then yesterday I'm in
the worst. It's the middle of the

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day and I'm talking to Sonny,
and Sonn he goes, WHOA see out

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the back window there's another one just
in our What are they doing? I

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don't know. I don't know,
and I don't know what to do.

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I you know, I can't give
Phil a bone in our backyard. I

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can't leave Phil outside in our backyard
like they must be jumping over the fence,

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or they're coming in another way like
they're they might be getting under a

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fence in some spots, Like have
you thought about asking the owner of the

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house I'm going to today? Yeah, I was gonna say that there's things

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that keep coyotes away, But then
I was thinking the thing I was thinking

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of was coyote p which is probably
knocking to ward off coyotes their pace.

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I think that isn't that for snakes. I think it's for I think it

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is forced. I don't know,
because we had a snake problem a couple

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of years ago, which was awful. That was the other house. Yes,

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like I don't know, I've we
had. I mean there was some

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some kind of snake nest in our
on our property because every other day there

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was a snake found and we were
like Adam was building, was construction was

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going on, and so like the
guys would go find another snake in the

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driveway, you know, and like
just these huge snakes. Or I would

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come home with the kids walking up
the stairs and there's just like this big

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like snake coiled up on our front
steps. What we had a call like

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yeah, and like nobody would There
was one time we were just me and

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the two kids. Nobody was there. It was like eight o'clock at night,

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and one of the guys told me, I said, what if I

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find a snake? When I'm like, what am I supposed to do?

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They said, call the fire department. They're up the street. They come

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out and take care of it.
So I called the fire department. They

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came out and they're like, yeah, there's snakes everywhere. And then they

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told us. I told them how
there snakes everywhere around our property. But

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I said, on our property,
like, we found like eight snakes in

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the last like two weeks on our
property, like on our steps, like

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not just in the brook, in
the bush. Right, And Molly theah

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got bit by snake on that she
did? She did on that property?

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Yes, oh yeah, I'll never
forget it. She was, she was

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out. We let her out at
night to go pee. She came back

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and she had this big all of
a sudden, this big lump on her

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snout just blew up like a little
like a little golf ball. And I

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was like, what happened to Mollie? Adam, Yeah, she's okay,

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she's okay. I don't know.
She must have something, must have bit

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her and I go, I think
something bitter, but it looks like it's

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swelling up, and I go,
I'm going to take her to the to

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the hospital. Oh, she's fine, she's fine. They take her to

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the hospital and immediately they go,
m oh, she must have been stung

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by a bee. And then they
see her and they go, oh,

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no, no, no, that's
a snake bite. She needs to come

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in right away. So they gave
her, like hospitalized her. They gave

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her anti venom, which is,
you know, to get rid of the

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the poison, and they hospitalize her
for like two nights and then she was

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okay. But you know, we
she was bit by a snake. And

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then now a year later, we
have a snake problem. So we had

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some guy come out and he did
something. But anyway back to the coyote

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or ill wait, but so the
guy came out and did he find the

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snake nest? I can't remember because
it was so I don't think he did.

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No, he just said it they'll
probably start to go away because they

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probably gave birth or something. And
now you know, now like, yeah,

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I know, I don't think he
I don't remember him finding anything.

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But then like I was like looking
online how to train Molly with, you

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know, for snake and stuff.
But I yes, yeah, so because

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and that's something Phil would do too, Like if he saw something, he

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would run right up to it,
whether it's a coyote or a snake.

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And there's tons of snakes in our
neighborhood too right now because of the heat.

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I know. It's scared because Molly
or Phil ever been sprayed by a

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skunk? Molly has, Yes,
that's the worst. Yeah, I mean

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Penelope like three different times. Oh
really, Yeah, you have the recipe

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of what to put on them.
Yep. You need hydrogen peroxide, don

203
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:22,360
dysh soap and and baking soda okay, yeah, and you just put it

204
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:28,080
all together and then you bathe them
in it, right yeah right, Well

205
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,080
you're lucky you don't have any coyotes. So I don't know what to do.

206
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,159
I'm gonna have to call the owners, but I don't know what they're

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00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,759
gonna do, like maybe extend the
fence higher, I guess, I don't.

208
00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:41,159
I don't know, or go around
and look for holes that they could

209
00:15:41,159 --> 00:15:46,639
be coming in or underneath the fence
or something. They gotta do something,

210
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,200
Yeah, you got to do something. Because otherwise it's not safe out there,

211
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:54,799
right, I know, although coyotes
are kind of small, they are,

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00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,919
and Phil is pretty big. Yes, he's out like one hundred pounds,

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00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:00,679
ye right, Yeah. I don't
think that they would bother Phil.

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00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,399
I really don't. On the other
hand, though, if there's more than

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00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:07,600
one of them, that's bad because
they will attack a dog. Yes,

216
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,320
and there's two. If there's where
there's two, there's more. I now

217
00:16:11,519 --> 00:16:18,279
pack a coyotes somewhere. That's really
scary. I know. I have so

218
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:22,639
much fear of coyotes in my neighborhood. Remember when I got tracked by a

219
00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:27,440
there was a coyote, and then
there were two of them, and Penelope

220
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,759
will try to fight them, Like
if she sees a coyote, she'll go

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00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:34,440
crazy and try to get at them. And then one time she got out

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00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:40,440
of her She wears a prong collar, and she busted out of it because

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00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,360
every time I don't know if you
remember this, but every time I would

224
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,639
have a harness on her, she
found a way to fight out of the

225
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:49,399
harness and she would get loose,
and she's super stubborn, so she would

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00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:53,120
just dig her heels in even in
the harness and just refuse to walk with

227
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,080
you, and John would have to
sometimes physically pick her up and then carry

228
00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:03,320
her. So once we got the
prong collar, it's never hurt her.

229
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,519
We've never had to like yank it. But she just knows she can't get

230
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,519
out of it, so it helps
a little bit. But one time she

231
00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:11,839
got I saw coyotes and then she
got out of the prong collar and tried

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00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,759
to chase them, and I had
to like tackle her in the street.

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00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:18,319
It was horrible. I was like
crying. Yeah, I had to call

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00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:22,079
John to come pick me up in
the car. Yeah, there's I'm scared

235
00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:26,240
of coyote now, I know.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't

236
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:30,480
know. I just we're gonna have
to figure something out. But there was

237
00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:33,680
just they were all over my backyard
last few days, and it's scary,

238
00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:41,720
really scary. Yeah, and you
know there's phil and also like I not

239
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,359
leaving, like there's no food out
there, there's you know, and for

240
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,839
a while there's been no coyotes.
But ever since that bone showed up,

241
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:55,319
you know, there's been so I
don't know if I sprayed it down good

242
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:59,920
enough or what, but it's grass, Like I don't know what you're supposed

243
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,400
to. Did Phil ever get to
enjoy the bone? He did for a

244
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,440
few hours. Then it came back
and took it. It came back again

245
00:18:07,799 --> 00:18:10,480
and took it. Oh the coyote
actually, yes, the bone. Yes.

246
00:18:10,519 --> 00:18:14,319
The first time I hit the window
and he took off. The second

247
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,160
time, I see the light because
I have the motion sensor light which doesn't

248
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,759
scare them away, and I saw
the light was on, and I go,

249
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,160
shit. I go to the window
and there he is, and he's

250
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,799
got the bone in his mouth and
he's taken off. Oh man, I

251
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:33,119
know, I go, Phil,
he just took your bone. Phil,

252
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,599
you're just gonna sit there and let
that stupid coyote take your bone. You're

253
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,359
not going to do anything about it, right, Oh I had never let

254
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:41,759
that. Yeah. And then so
now the kids are like, don't let

255
00:18:41,799 --> 00:18:45,960
Philly. Nobody's letting Phil outside unless
they keep an eye on him. Yeah.

256
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,559
So yeah, I think if you're
out there or the kids are out

257
00:18:49,599 --> 00:18:53,000
there with Phil, it'll probably keep
the coyotes away. Yes, but that's

258
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,000
a pain, I know. Sorry, Yeah, you know what's not a

259
00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:00,759
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Smoothie Cafe. You're on Tropic time
now. So did what did you do

289
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:37,279
on July fourth? Well, I
had some friends over Sunny and Italia were

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00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:42,079
gone. They went around with their
friends and we went to me and my

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00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:48,240
friends went to the country club by
the pool. They had a barbecue.

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00:21:48,519 --> 00:21:52,920
We did it pretty like early,
like around twelve one o'clock, and then

293
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,480
hung out. Country clubs are great
for July fourth. Yeah, it was

294
00:21:56,599 --> 00:22:00,920
nice, but you know, if
you have kids, like stay watched the

295
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,720
fireworks. But we got there like
in the middle of the day and a

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00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,200
bunch of us, you know,
we were in the pool hanging out.

297
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:11,680
It was fun seeing like friends of
ours. My friend Dawn and her husband

298
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:17,400
came. Did you hear about this
long beach boating accident that happened over the

299
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,640
weekend. No, you didn't hear
about it. It was it was I

300
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,839
don't know, one of these big
fair I don't know if it was a

301
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,519
fairy, I don't know what kind
of boat it was. But there was

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00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:32,200
ten people that were sent to the
hospital, a lot of them in critical

303
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,240
and one person died. No.
One person that died was Don's husband,

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00:22:36,279 --> 00:22:40,079
Steve's like one of his best friends. Oh no, I know, And

305
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:45,000
it was the night before fourth of
July and he came anyway, and he

306
00:22:45,599 --> 00:22:51,720
told us what happened and it was
really sad but but yeah, but other

307
00:22:51,799 --> 00:22:53,079
than that, it was nice,
like we got together and we hung out.

308
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,720
We had hamburgers hot dogs all day
by the pool, and then we

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00:22:56,759 --> 00:23:00,160
went and a lot of them haven't
seen my house. So then we went

310
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,160
back to my house and hung out
and then that was it. Called it

311
00:23:03,559 --> 00:23:08,519
called it a night. What'd you
do? And what happy birthday? Thank

312
00:23:08,599 --> 00:23:17,640
you? July fourth did nothing.
We got the results of Sadie's testing that

313
00:23:17,759 --> 00:23:22,039
she had done. That was at
like two o'clock in the afternoon for something

314
00:23:22,079 --> 00:23:26,799
at such a random time on a
holiday. But so anyway, we don't

315
00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:33,400
usually do that much on the fourth, we haven't instance, we got Penelope,

316
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,640
so yeah, but the kids had
friends over. They've been just very

317
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:44,720
very social albe had like multiple parties. But we just stayed home. And

318
00:23:44,759 --> 00:23:48,160
then the next day was my birthday, which, as you know, I

319
00:23:48,279 --> 00:23:52,920
don't care about my birthday. No
I say, I don't care about other

320
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,960
people's birthdays, but I especially don't
care about my birthday. But like when

321
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:03,680
you have kids, they they like
to celebrate your birthday except for my kids.

322
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:08,279
MI kid should be your kids.
Although Natalia has gotten bad, like

323
00:24:08,319 --> 00:24:12,440
as she's gotten older, she's gotten
different, But like my gids barely know

324
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:18,279
when my birthday is. They just
really really like memorized it, probably in

325
00:24:18,319 --> 00:24:22,440
the last few years. I feel
like Natalia has always been pretty good,

326
00:24:22,519 --> 00:24:26,319
though she's gotten better. Yeah,
she's gotten into it more as she's gotten

327
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:33,920
older. But Sonny, no,
well, I think that that's more typical.

328
00:24:33,079 --> 00:24:37,680
I think that I don't think that
my kids care about my birthday because

329
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,880
they're like such good people. I
think that John is very sentimental. Yeah,

330
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:48,440
John is. John is like a
pleaser. He's very He remembers his

331
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,920
sister's birthday, his sister's kids' birthdays. I'm bad at it. Yeah,

332
00:24:52,079 --> 00:24:55,680
even when they were younger, he'd
be like, oh, it's it's you

333
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,480
know, our niece's birthday is like
in two days or whatever. And in

334
00:24:59,519 --> 00:25:02,599
my I don't give a fuck,
like, you know, even though she

335
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,680
was young. But it's like maybe
because when I was young, I just

336
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,880
yeah, I just wasn't raised in
that same way to care about it.

337
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:15,200
But so he's very conscious of like
wants to be a good gift giver and

338
00:25:15,319 --> 00:25:19,400
like that's so nice. But he
doesn't like you to make a big deal

339
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,880
about his birthday either, right,
So it's not like he's doing that because

340
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,319
you know, getting gifts. His
gifts are his love language. It's just

341
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,519
sort of like I don't know,
Yeah, I don't know. I mean

342
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,680
the way I an Italian families.
You know, you're raised to like always

343
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,519
go give your aunt to hug and
kiss when you walk in the house,

344
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,599
Like, oh, did you give
her a hug and kiss? Goodbye?

345
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,440
Go say goodbye to everybody? Go
hug and kiss goodbye, good bye,

346
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,319
goodbye. And then it's like birthdays, like did you wish your uncle John

347
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,799
a birthday? You know, it's
always like when your mother's birthdays coming,

348
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,160
you know, what are you gonna
get your mother for her birthday? You

349
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:57,519
know, like a lot of that. But my you know, so I

350
00:25:57,559 --> 00:26:00,720
got a lot of that. So
but it wasn't that big of a deal

351
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:03,920
in my family. My mom made
a big deal out of every you know,

352
00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:10,039
her kids's birthdays. But I would
I would know when my parents' birthdays

353
00:26:10,039 --> 00:26:12,359
were, and I would like go
and buy them a little gift or you

354
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:17,519
know, want to like, you
know, celebrate their birthday. But then

355
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:22,039
we started a family, and then
you know, their dad never really cele

356
00:26:22,279 --> 00:26:27,319
came from a family never celebrating birthdays
really, but I thought it. I

357
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,400
looked at it as a lack of
respect, like it's your father's birthday,

358
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:34,039
you know, let's go, let's
go find something, buy something your money,

359
00:26:34,079 --> 00:26:37,039
like save up your money, let's
go buy something for your father's birthday.

360
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:41,680
You know. That's but then it
kind of went out the windows they

361
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:45,519
got older. But the weird thing
is an Italia you know, likes it

362
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,319
and kind of stuck with it.
Sonny again like neither here nor there.

363
00:26:49,759 --> 00:26:53,799
You know. Sunny's line is your
birthday presents coming in the mail, like

364
00:26:53,839 --> 00:26:57,799
it's on its way. It's on
its way. You know. It's like

365
00:26:57,839 --> 00:27:03,440
a running joke, right, Yeah, I guess with John, Christmas became

366
00:27:03,519 --> 00:27:07,559
like a big thing of like really
wanting, always wanting to get everybody just

367
00:27:07,599 --> 00:27:11,880
the right presence. And then that
kind of caught fire with me where I

368
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:18,799
started feeling really obligated to like and
then their birthdays. But their birthdays are

369
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,759
kind of close to Christmas, so
I never really did a big birthday present

370
00:27:22,799 --> 00:27:26,880
for them, So it's like something
small, a token, but then Christmas

371
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,759
is coming up, so I got
to save up for that. But I

372
00:27:30,759 --> 00:27:33,559
don't know, I just feel like
what you're saying, which is that I

373
00:27:33,599 --> 00:27:37,799
don't want it to be an obligation. I don't want it to ever be

374
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,440
something that like John has to be
like, well, mom's birthdays coming up,

375
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:42,519
what are you getting her? Like? I hate that. Yeah,

376
00:27:42,759 --> 00:27:47,880
I want to be somebody's obligation to
like celebrate my birthday when I don't care,

377
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,640
especially it's not like a milestone birthday. And listen much respect to people

378
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:57,440
that really like celebrating their birthday.
We all have different backgrounds. That's fine.

379
00:27:59,079 --> 00:28:00,759
As I've said many times, I
don't want it to be your birthday

380
00:28:00,799 --> 00:28:07,079
month care. I like it when
friends say, like no gifts. But

381
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:08,920
this is kind of funny. So
you know how I was telling you.

382
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,720
I guess it was last week about
how I don't I don't like getting gifts

383
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:19,039
from like my friends because and I
guess I said, because like who needs

384
00:28:19,039 --> 00:28:26,359
another candle? You know? But
so last night went to dinner with Julie

385
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,519
Julie Kasem because her birthday is on
July fourth, right, mine is on

386
00:28:30,559 --> 00:28:36,519
the fifth. Our friend Laura is
obsessed with people's birthdays. She is the

387
00:28:36,559 --> 00:28:40,440
birthday keeper. She knows when every
single one of her friends's birthday is.

388
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:44,680
She has to buy you presents.
She makes a big deal. Yeah,

389
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,480
so we have this our whole mom
group of friends and as I've told you

390
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,839
this before, we all go out
for each other's birthday. Well, some

391
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,920
of these bitches like gifts, you
know, so some of them are like,

392
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:00,000
if you don't say no gifts,
it's known that you're gonna gifts.

393
00:29:00,319 --> 00:29:03,400
And as I said, I know
I said this last week, but it's

394
00:29:03,519 --> 00:29:07,799
coming back. I don't want to
have to be like, well, what

395
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,319
is Carol like for her birthday?
And then people go, oh, she

396
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,440
loves a puzzle. And then I
go, all right, I got to

397
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,319
go to Target and get a puzzle. It seems so stupid because like,

398
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,759
go buy your own puzzle. Yeah, why don't your friends have to get

399
00:29:18,759 --> 00:29:22,359
involved in this? I guess they
like the whole idea of at the end

400
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,960
of the dinner, like the person
starts opening their gifts and every But it

401
00:29:27,039 --> 00:29:36,400
brings me back to childhood where and
this is like my own problem probably one

402
00:29:36,519 --> 00:29:41,279
year and I believe it was when
I was ten. I had this friend

403
00:29:41,319 --> 00:29:44,480
who had a birthday party. The
kids would Back in the day, when

404
00:29:44,519 --> 00:29:48,799
we were kids, you opened your
gifts in front of people. Eventually that

405
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,680
changed and now kids don't open gifts
in front of other kids. You save

406
00:29:52,759 --> 00:29:55,680
all the gifts, right, kaylin, If you have a birthday party for

407
00:29:55,759 --> 00:29:59,119
your kid, you take all the
gifts home and then they open it in

408
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,160
their own time. Okay, you
don't like because you don't want to hear

409
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:07,720
the kid like complaining I want one
of those can you open your plate co

410
00:30:07,319 --> 00:30:11,039
thing that you got like, I
want to play with it, right right,

411
00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:15,559
right, So it became a thing
that you open it at home.

412
00:30:15,839 --> 00:30:19,279
The only time I believe that you
really open gifts in front of people is

413
00:30:19,279 --> 00:30:23,759
a baby shower. Well, we
sat when we were having baby showers,

414
00:30:23,759 --> 00:30:26,519
were like, no opening gifts,
We don't need to open the gifts in

415
00:30:26,519 --> 00:30:32,799
front of everybody. At some point
it switched back again where we did open

416
00:30:32,839 --> 00:30:37,359
gifts. Then we did start opening
gifts in front of everybody because we tried

417
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,200
it, and then people were like, that sucks because you buy a nice

418
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,160
gift, you want to see them
open it and everybody go oh, oh,

419
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,960
oh cute. Exactly exactly. Then
we did it. Then we decided

420
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:51,359
to do it, which bothers me
because then you have to have that adjita

421
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,920
before you go like, uh,
is my gift going to be spending?

422
00:30:55,079 --> 00:31:00,799
Like hopefully you got something from the
registry that they wanted, but it's just

423
00:31:00,839 --> 00:31:03,359
like I don't like that feeling.
So when I was ten, somebody at

424
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:07,599
a birthday party, one of my
friends, and I wanted to get them

425
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:14,039
a Janice Ian record. Hey,
And it was nobody's idea of a ten

426
00:31:14,079 --> 00:31:18,039
year old gift. But I liked
my parents' taste in music, so they

427
00:31:18,119 --> 00:31:22,559
listened to like shit that nobody was
listening to, like folk music, and

428
00:31:22,599 --> 00:31:26,319
like, you know, my mom
liked like Vagina music. Yes, so

429
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:33,359
Janice Ian I learned the truth seventeen
The Love was Mint, Yes, So

430
00:31:33,759 --> 00:31:37,039
I loved that song, and I
was like, oh, my friend who's

431
00:31:37,039 --> 00:31:40,400
turning ten. If I love this
song, she's gonna love this song.

432
00:31:40,759 --> 00:31:44,759
So I bring and I believe at
the time my mom was like, are

433
00:31:44,799 --> 00:31:48,160
you sure? Like I think my
mom even knew better, but I was

434
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:52,319
like, yes, Like I love
this album, the whole album. I

435
00:31:52,359 --> 00:31:55,240
loved all the songs. I was
like, she's gonna love I was obsessed.

436
00:31:56,079 --> 00:31:59,799
I bring it to her. It's
everybody opens Presence, and I will

437
00:32:00,079 --> 00:32:07,039
ever forget that. She opened that
record and was like who what and everybody

438
00:32:07,119 --> 00:32:10,880
was like, ah, what,
who's that? And I was like crushed.

439
00:32:12,799 --> 00:32:19,160
She had is Ian. I learned
the truth seventeen and I was traumatized

440
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,640
by the real by the underwhelmed response
that I got from her. I mean

441
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,359
speed Wagons, like third hit album. Oh my gosh, she has beg's,

442
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:34,440
Like there was stuff that was very
in vogue at that time, cool

443
00:32:34,519 --> 00:32:38,880
gifts, you know, and I
felt so shamed that I developed like a

444
00:32:39,039 --> 00:32:43,599
weird thing of like giving people gifts
that they open in front of other people.

445
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,519
And now I still have that like
is it going to be good?

446
00:32:45,559 --> 00:32:50,720
Are they going to be like oh
what? Yeah? I know I've had

447
00:32:50,839 --> 00:32:54,279
I've given gifts where they were like
like or who gave the gift of the

448
00:32:54,319 --> 00:33:00,799
you know, It's like I don't
like having people opening gifts gifts in front

449
00:33:00,839 --> 00:33:05,400
of everybody. Yeah. Also because
even if you think something's really funny,

450
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:07,240
you know, you give somebody like
kind of a joke gift, but then

451
00:33:07,279 --> 00:33:10,519
the other people are kind of like
pearl clutchers and you're like, oh,

452
00:33:10,599 --> 00:33:14,200
I gave you something that says cunt
on it and you've opened it, and

453
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,559
other people are like, oh,
wow, you know I don't. I

454
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:22,359
just always feel awkward and self conscious
about So I like to give people the

455
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:27,440
gift of not having to give me
a gift on my birthday. But that

456
00:33:27,599 --> 00:33:30,759
is not to say that I hate
candles. So anyway, last night,

457
00:33:30,799 --> 00:33:35,000
went to dinner and my friend Laura
was like, I'm getting you guys a

458
00:33:35,039 --> 00:33:37,480
gift. Whether you like it or
not, it's it's fun for me.

459
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:44,440
Okay. Fine, So Julie brings
a little bag, a little cute gift,

460
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,279
and I was like, Julie,
why did you get me a gift?

461
00:33:46,359 --> 00:33:49,920
Do you know better? I said, we said no gifts. Julie

462
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,000
and I agree, like we're not
getting gifts, and she's like, oh,

463
00:33:52,039 --> 00:33:53,839
it's just like I just had to. I just had to. I

464
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:58,240
just had to. I open it
up and it's a candle, like this

465
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,279
flavor that's really good that I really
like, and I was like, oh

466
00:34:01,319 --> 00:34:06,559
my gosh, like and she goes, it's a joke. I was totally

467
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,840
joking because you said on the podcast
that you don't like candles. And I

468
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,719
was like, well, the joke's
on you, bitch, because I do

469
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,760
like this candle. And I was
like, well, did you go buy

470
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,679
the candle? And she goes no, and she goes I found it in

471
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,480
my house. It's like my mom
gave it to me and I didn't want

472
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:24,280
it. And I was like,
well, I do want it. I

473
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:29,760
did you feel moded because I want
this candle. She was like, but

474
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,000
you said you hate candles. I
was like no, I just meant like,

475
00:34:32,079 --> 00:34:37,400
I don't need eight of them from
like random friends. I don't I

476
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,199
have. I have a lot of
candles, but like I love this candle.

477
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,960
I love candles. I think they
were like the best gifts, say

478
00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:45,760
you and I can't have enough?
You know, no, I know.

479
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:51,079
I think I was just using that
because I even said last week you don't

480
00:34:51,119 --> 00:34:54,400
need another candle, right, you
like another candle? Yes? And even

481
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:59,800
like our friend Fern candle or friend
Kelsey who has a great cand I was

482
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,719
like, they make great gifts because
they do for like a housewarming present,

483
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,599
like she makes the wax melts.
I'm giving you your shout out now,

484
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,440
by the way, but like those
kind of candles, Yes, they went

485
00:35:09,559 --> 00:35:16,559
like hotcakes at the where I did
the raffle for them. People love candles.

486
00:35:16,639 --> 00:35:22,079
I love candles, but I just
meant that in theory of like,

487
00:35:22,199 --> 00:35:25,639
I don't need people going to like
a candle place and going like, oh,

488
00:35:25,679 --> 00:35:29,679
what is definitely gonna like yes,
yeah, now I get it.

489
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,199
So you had a good time at
the dinner? Was it at the place

490
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:38,400
where the guy sings? So that
is next week? That is this coming

491
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,679
up Saturday. We're gonna do that
with my big group of mom friends.

492
00:35:42,679 --> 00:35:45,760
We couldn't figure out a day that
worked, but I went with Julie and

493
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:51,400
Laura separately last night, and then
for my actual birthday, we went to

494
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,800
Beni Hannah. Yes. Nice,
you know I love an onion volcano.

495
00:35:54,880 --> 00:36:00,719
Do you catch anything in your mouth? No? He did different the guy,

496
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:05,760
our hibachi guy had like a different
delivery. He had some new jokes.

497
00:36:06,039 --> 00:36:08,199
He didn't do the beating heart out
of the rice. He did a

498
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:13,440
misspac Man or a pac Man.
Yeah. Super fun. The food was

499
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,880
delicious. I ate way too much. Nice. Yeah, but let's take

500
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:21,880
a quick break. This message is
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501
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:25,559
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502
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503
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504
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505
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506
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507
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508
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509
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510
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511
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512
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513
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514
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515
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Light for free green light dot com slash

516
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:39,000
fcol. So the one thing about
the birthday that is better for you with

517
00:37:39,079 --> 00:37:44,039
the kids is I feel like I
feel like my birthday turned into a way

518
00:37:44,039 --> 00:37:49,199
for me to feel obligated for me
to spend time with my kids because I

519
00:37:49,199 --> 00:37:51,880
think I told you I was gonna
go do something, and Sadie was like,

520
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,320
oh, Sadie was gonna possibly take
a babysitting job, and then she's

521
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,159
like, no, I'm not.
It's your birthday. And I was like,

522
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,199
go babysit. It's fine. Let
me go to the gym or do

523
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:07,039
my own Who cares, right,
what it's like forced spend time with everybody

524
00:38:07,079 --> 00:38:08,559
all day long and have them sit
and stare at me and go, it's

525
00:38:08,559 --> 00:38:13,199
your birthday. Yeah, yeah,
every your birthday is just to be able

526
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,440
to just chill out and do your
thing. No, or have it be

527
00:38:15,519 --> 00:38:19,239
like every other day of the year. You don't care. It's fun to

528
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,440
go out for dinner, but you
know, right, yeah, it's funny

529
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,039
because Sonny has a friend. Okay, they were I forgot what they were

530
00:38:25,039 --> 00:38:30,000
doing a little while ago. It
was like a concert or of something that

531
00:38:30,079 --> 00:38:34,039
was coming to town and him and
his friends were going to like go to

532
00:38:34,079 --> 00:38:38,199
it or something, and his one
friend who they love and they wanted him

533
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:45,480
to come, couldn't make it because
it's his mom's birthday. This is what

534
00:38:45,599 --> 00:38:47,719
I don't like and he was like
and all his friends, and Sonny was

535
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:52,000
like, you're really like you can't. It's not until later until the night,

536
00:38:52,119 --> 00:38:55,000
like you can go and like have
dinner with your mom and then come

537
00:38:55,039 --> 00:38:58,039
meet us or something, right,
And he was like no, no,

538
00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,960
no, no, no, I
gotta spend the day and then we're going

539
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,760
going to dinner. There's all these
plans. And then this is what I

540
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:06,440
say. I would not leave him
alone. And then and then he even

541
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,480
asked this older sister that he was
like, my friends really want me to

542
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:13,239
come or whatever, and his older
sister was like, good luck with that,

543
00:39:13,679 --> 00:39:16,679
good luck with talking to mom about
that, Sonny. And Sonny brings

544
00:39:16,679 --> 00:39:19,920
it up so much to the point
where I go, all right, Sonny,

545
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:23,800
okay, it was his mom's where
he loves his mom. No,

546
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:28,440
but I get it. I was
like that, that's ridiculous. That's ridiculous.

547
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,159
But there are a lot of people
there that and I'm sure we're offending

548
00:39:31,559 --> 00:39:35,360
some people right now that are like, well, yeah, it's the mom's

549
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,119
birthday, Like that's the one day
of the year, like I do stuff

550
00:39:37,159 --> 00:39:43,280
for you all all year, Like
I want my family together celebrating my birthday.

551
00:39:43,599 --> 00:39:46,599
I get it, but I don't
really get it. Right. It's

552
00:39:46,639 --> 00:39:52,480
weird when you don't feel I don't
relate to that. So I don't understand

553
00:39:52,519 --> 00:39:54,480
making your kids. But I'm sure
there's a lot of parents that are just

554
00:39:54,519 --> 00:39:59,000
like, dude, it's once a
year. They cannot make plans with their

555
00:39:59,039 --> 00:40:02,719
friends one day and have family time. Yeah yeah, But at the same

556
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,119
time, I know, why can't
they just go to dinner with you and

557
00:40:06,159 --> 00:40:08,440
then leave and go with their friends, right right? Yeah don't. I

558
00:40:08,519 --> 00:40:10,719
know. I don't get it,
but I guess some of the kids want

559
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,239
to. Some of the kids are
like, oh, no, it's my

560
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,280
mom's birthday. Yeah, I must
sit and stare at her and wish her

561
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:22,960
happy birthday a hundred times. Right, that's crazy. I don't want that.

562
00:40:22,679 --> 00:40:29,199
Yeah, well, now your birthday's
over. So funny thing that will

563
00:40:29,199 --> 00:40:35,400
probably get you know, talked about
and judged. But okay, so I

564
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,480
think this is just kind of funny. So Elbe is nineteen years old.

565
00:40:38,559 --> 00:40:44,360
She'll be twenty in November. She
has been really independent, you know,

566
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:51,320
girls had a job since she was
seventeen, newly minted seventeen, she got

567
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:55,599
her job, still working at the
same place, never late, never been

568
00:40:55,679 --> 00:41:00,400
late, figures out how to like
set her alarm to get to work.

569
00:41:00,519 --> 00:41:06,320
You know, she drives everywhere.
She plans elaborate trips. She's gone out

570
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,599
of town, you know, so
you would think that the day that was,

571
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,239
I don't know, like a week
ago or so, she had a

572
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:20,320
doctor's appointment. It's her physical you
know, she knows where it is.

573
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,199
She's been going to the same doctor's
office for a million years, you know,

574
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:27,760
so she went to the doctor.
First thing, first text I get

575
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,880
is which door do I go in? Okay, So at our doctor's office,

576
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:37,840
there's one door that's for like sick
kids, and then there's another door

577
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:42,079
and they're literally next to each other. Okay, so they're side by side

578
00:41:42,159 --> 00:41:46,079
kind of. One goes into like
the side of the office and one goes

579
00:41:46,119 --> 00:41:51,920
into the like reception area. Okay, so the other door says, well

580
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:58,440
visits, right, Okay, She's
pretty easy for a kid who's taken ten

581
00:41:58,519 --> 00:42:01,519
AP classes and right. So I
get a text. First thing I get

582
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:07,800
a text of like, mom,
which door do I go in? So

583
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:12,239
I don't go, well, what
do you think? I'm just like you

584
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,000
go into the door on the right, the one that says, well,

585
00:42:15,079 --> 00:42:17,159
visits, you're just having a physical, you know. She's like, okay,

586
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:22,480
okay, the one the one that
says what like she has to reiterate,

587
00:42:22,559 --> 00:42:29,639
like and I picture her standing out
there paralyzed with like uncertainty. Okay,

588
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,320
so the okay, the one on
the right. Yes, I'll be

589
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:36,599
the one on the right that says, well, visits okay, and then

590
00:42:36,599 --> 00:42:38,360
I go Then you just go in
there, give them your name, and

591
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:43,800
then you know, okay, okay, got it. So she goes in.

592
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:51,599
So time goes by, I literally
get a text from her. She's

593
00:42:51,639 --> 00:42:54,480
like, mom, I feel like
I should read the text. It's pretty

594
00:42:54,519 --> 00:43:00,840
funny. And basically she's like,
hold on, I'm I'm going to find

595
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:08,119
this text because it's funny. She
said. It's funny because Natalia just went

596
00:43:08,159 --> 00:43:14,800
to urgent care by herself again just
over the weekend. But she was out

597
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:20,559
of town, like in Manhattan Beach, and it was a it was a

598
00:43:20,599 --> 00:43:23,480
female emergency, and she asked me, should I go to urgent care not?

599
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:28,400
And I said yes, you should, and she did, but she

600
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,519
had questions but go ahead, Okay, she had questions. Okay, So

601
00:43:31,519 --> 00:43:35,559
so this I can't I can't even
find the texting that went, but she

602
00:43:35,679 --> 00:43:38,039
said, oh, okay. First
I got the witch entrance do I use?

603
00:43:38,119 --> 00:43:43,000
And then I got a crying face, like but actual, not the

604
00:43:43,039 --> 00:43:45,119
cry laughing, but the like,
oh no, like what do I do?

605
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:49,320
And I wrote, well, visit
and she goes okay, and I

606
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,920
said to the right, and she
goes perfect, and then she and then

607
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,760
okay. Then she writes me there's
a random balance of like fifteen dollars on

608
00:43:55,800 --> 00:44:00,599
the account. By the way,
I don't know what that is, and

609
00:44:00,639 --> 00:44:04,559
I, oh, just tell them
that I'll pay it later. First of

610
00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:06,760
all, I was a little bit
annoyed, like, why are you telling

611
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:12,079
my daughter of the balance? It's
fifteen dollars? Relaxed, you know,

612
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,480
just weigh her and shut up.
Okay. So then I said tell them

613
00:44:15,559 --> 00:44:22,440
I'll pay it, and then she
wrote, oh no, okay. This

614
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:28,440
is why I couldn't find it on
the text she calls me mom. Yeah.

615
00:44:28,519 --> 00:44:31,440
She's like, I'm in the parking
lot and I can't get out because

616
00:44:31,559 --> 00:44:37,639
I don't have any I don't have
any cash. And I'm like okay,

617
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,239
and she goes and I don't even
I go, well, you have to

618
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:46,199
you can take your take your ATM
card, go into the gift shop area

619
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:50,119
and get and take money out of
the bank, take get cash. And

620
00:44:50,159 --> 00:44:54,119
she's like, well I can't.
I don't have my wallet. Okay,

621
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:58,679
what are you She's like, I
forgot my wallet. I was like,

622
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,199
you forgot? You didn't think to
bring your wallet? Like you need your

623
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:05,840
driver's license, you're driving. How
do you forget? What do you mean

624
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,360
you forgot your wallet? How does
your brain not go like, I'm leaving

625
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:12,840
the house and going to a professional
place, I might need my drivers.

626
00:45:13,559 --> 00:45:17,440
What are you thinking about? And
when you pulled into the parking lot and

627
00:45:17,519 --> 00:45:21,960
saw that it said cash only,
didn't you think of it? Then?

628
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:28,079
When you don't normal people think of
that? And of course I'm so annoyed

629
00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:30,480
because I was like, first of
all, it's like I'm gonna have to

630
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:35,800
go rescue her because what she This
is how they learn, though, you

631
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,960
know, they have to learn.
Like in kids, they don't think about

632
00:45:39,119 --> 00:45:43,360
you know, they don't think about
that stuff when they're leaving the house,

633
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,199
but they think about it. My
complaint is they think about it when it's

634
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:51,119
something for them, Like way you're
telling them to go do something, they

635
00:45:51,159 --> 00:45:52,719
don't they're just like all right,
right, and then they have all the

636
00:45:52,800 --> 00:46:00,960
questions right when she's Somehow she managed
to figure out ubers rides all the logistics

637
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:05,360
of going to the rave that she
went to. Yeah, they can figure

638
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,760
shit out. With the house music
party that was three hours away, they

639
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:14,320
can figure I got no questions on
that. But yet she pulled into a

640
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,440
parking lot and didn't think to bring
her wallet because I think she thought she

641
00:46:17,519 --> 00:46:21,599
was doing me a favor by going
to the doctor on her own, because

642
00:46:21,599 --> 00:46:24,599
I'm not taking her to the doctor. And also about yeah that, well

643
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:29,480
maybe she thought they had all the
information they needed there and she didn't think

644
00:46:29,519 --> 00:46:32,239
about parking, you know. But
I just thought it was funny, it

645
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:35,840
is. I wasn't like mad at
her about I was like, this is

646
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:42,079
pretty funny that she's going off to
college by herself, and like she better

647
00:46:42,119 --> 00:46:44,960
start thinking about bringing her purse places. So I had to go get her

648
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,800
purse, bring it to and some
extra cash so that she wouldn't have to

649
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:52,760
do Yes, I did. I
pulled up outside. Well, luckily,

650
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:57,320
it's it's almost walking distance from my
house, so I just I pulled up

651
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:00,800
outside. She grabbed her stuff,
and then I rove around the block and

652
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:02,440
went home, but I just thought
it was kind of funny. It is

653
00:47:02,599 --> 00:47:07,119
it is, It is funny,
but you know they'll get better, more

654
00:47:07,119 --> 00:47:10,639
experience under their belt, you know, like Natalie's been urging care twice now

655
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:14,440
on her own. Yeah, so
what happened with her, Well, she

656
00:47:14,599 --> 00:47:17,039
was it was fine, but like
there was I don't need to get into

657
00:47:17,039 --> 00:47:21,320
what it was, but it was
a female issue, and so I said,

658
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:22,760
you should probably go to It's probably
fine, but you should go to

659
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:27,000
urgent care anyway, just to get
it checked out. And then she's like,

660
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,079
I do in my car here,
like it's fourth of July every and

661
00:47:30,119 --> 00:47:32,280
I'm like, can you have a
friend drive you? And she's like,

662
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:37,559
nobody wants to go sit at urgent
care anyway. She couldn't find it.

663
00:47:37,559 --> 00:47:39,800
So I found an urgent care near
her, so she got the uber.

664
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:44,519
She she gets there and now she's
kind of like a pro like she's got

665
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,239
but they don't take our insurance,
you know, they didn't. They didn't

666
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:52,360
take our insurance for some reason,
which was I thought was weird. But

667
00:47:52,559 --> 00:47:59,199
so she do you do you have? I have anthem Ppo? Okay,

668
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,920
yeah, so they didn't take it. I don't know. Yeah, it

669
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:07,000
was weird. But so then she
I give them my credit card and whatever.

670
00:48:07,039 --> 00:48:08,079
But then after that, like she
now she knows how to fill out

671
00:48:08,079 --> 00:48:12,840
the paperwork. And so because she's
a veteran now of gone to urgent care,

672
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,800
like now she knows what's up.
She got all the information like pediatrician,

673
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:21,239
who's your doctor, you know at
name and address, blah blah blah.

674
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,039
You know. So now she's got
all of that, and her medical

675
00:48:23,039 --> 00:48:27,800
insurance too, she has on her
phone now, so that's good. So

676
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,639
I think it's just repetition, like
you know, not doing it before,

677
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:36,559
or brand new experience kind of thing. I just can't help but think,

678
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,280
yeah, in times like this,
the same thing as you of just like

679
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:46,360
and me. I mean, I
want to have my kids feel secure that

680
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:50,519
they of course they can call me
and ask me. At the same time,

681
00:48:50,519 --> 00:48:53,559
I'm always like I had to do
so much on my own. I

682
00:48:53,559 --> 00:48:58,239
mean at nineteen, I lived by
myself. I mean I had a roommate,

683
00:48:58,639 --> 00:49:01,800
but my roommate was seventeen, so
she looked to me to be the

684
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:07,000
parent. I had to figure everything
out. There's not one thing that I

685
00:49:07,039 --> 00:49:09,840
remember being able to call my mom
and go I don't know what to do.

686
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:14,760
Also, I lived far away.
I remember my car getting towed because

687
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:19,639
I didn't because I parked in a
illegal parking zone. And then I had

688
00:49:19,639 --> 00:49:22,679
to figure out on my own because
you know, it was at night and

689
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:28,760
my parents were on the East coast
and not that interested in helping anyway figure

690
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,559
out. I called the police because
I thought my car was stolen, and

691
00:49:31,599 --> 00:49:36,599
they're like, did you where are
you parked? Like did you check?

692
00:49:36,679 --> 00:49:38,119
Are you in a toway zone?
And I was like, oh so I

693
00:49:38,159 --> 00:49:42,800
am. You know, then I
had to figure out how to figure out

694
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,280
what the towyard is where they brought
your car, and you know, they're

695
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:51,480
like there should be a phone number
here, And then I had to figure

696
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,920
out how to get to the towyard. How do I come up with the

697
00:49:53,960 --> 00:50:00,159
money to pay to get my car
out? But like that's that's like a

698
00:50:00,159 --> 00:50:04,719
a situation. But just like grocery
shopping and how do you meal? How

699
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:07,840
do you plan for like what you're
going to eat? How do I how

700
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:13,039
do I get you know, my
refrigerator's broken? How do all those things

701
00:50:13,079 --> 00:50:15,840
that I was forced to do?
Right, That's the only way they learn

702
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:20,280
is they have to be forced to
learn, you know, figure it out

703
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:24,360
on your own. And you know, parents these days are easy to help

704
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:30,000
out, just like I am all
the time. But you know it's now

705
00:50:30,039 --> 00:50:35,239
they're getting older and I am seeing
now that I'm telling them, like,

706
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,079
well, you're eighteen, you figure
it out, Like you got to figure

707
00:50:37,079 --> 00:50:40,079
it out. This is going to
happen. You know, you're traveling,

708
00:50:40,159 --> 00:50:43,639
you got to take this with you. You got to be responsible for this

709
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:49,119
that you know, figure it out
and hopefully they figure it out. Isn't

710
00:50:49,119 --> 00:50:54,559
it hard though to know what is
snowplow parenting where you're like clear, you

711
00:50:54,639 --> 00:50:59,880
know it's not helicopter parenting, but
it's the snowplow, Like I don't want

712
00:51:00,159 --> 00:51:02,400
to run into an obstacle, but
let me figure ahead of time. Yeah,

713
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:06,440
and I think we I think of
things that happened to me when I

714
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:09,199
was a kid that were really hard
lessons, you know, Like I mean

715
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:15,239
I almost had my car repossessed because
I didn't know enough to like pale,

716
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:19,239
I was very irresponsible. We've talked
about this many times, but you know,

717
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,239
getting parking tickets and then eventually getting
a boot on my car. Irresponsibility

718
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:29,519
meets with but like a lot of
risk taking behavior that I don't want my

719
00:51:29,599 --> 00:51:35,159
kids to be stuck to learn certain
lessons the real hard way. But then

720
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:43,079
how do you know when you're handicapping
them by taking away the hard lesson that

721
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:47,039
you know, and when you're just
being a good parent that loves your kids.

722
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,639
That's tough. Yeah, you don't
have all the answers. I don't

723
00:51:52,639 --> 00:51:54,760
have the answers. I think when
they are going off to college, though,

724
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:59,000
it's they're going to be They're going
to have to figure shit out on

725
00:51:59,039 --> 00:52:04,599
their own. And and I'm I'm
already trying to start that with them now,

726
00:52:04,679 --> 00:52:07,119
but like once they're gone, like
you can't, I'm not gonna be

727
00:52:07,199 --> 00:52:09,199
there. You know he's gonna be
there. You're gonna figure it out.

728
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:13,559
You have to just figure it out. You get stuck inside of a parking

729
00:52:13,599 --> 00:52:15,280
lot because you didn't bring your credit
card and your money or whatever, well

730
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:19,800
then ask the guy if he's got
venmo or what. I don't know.

731
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,199
I'm nobody's gonna be around. You're
just gonna have to figure it out.

732
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:28,679
I'm sure gonna get a lot of
phone calls. But I feel like it's

733
00:52:28,679 --> 00:52:31,360
happened to me before where I've gotten
stuck in a lot because they only took

734
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:37,480
cash and they didn't have it,
and I feel like eventually they just have

735
00:52:37,599 --> 00:52:39,679
to let me go. That's what
they've done. I know for me too.

736
00:52:40,119 --> 00:52:45,400
I've been stuck inside too without like
oh you know something's not or whatever,

737
00:52:45,519 --> 00:52:49,239
Like I didn't know I didn't have
cash when I was younger. Yeah,

738
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,599
they just have to let you go. What are they gonna do arrest

739
00:52:52,679 --> 00:52:55,239
you, put you on parking jokes? Yeah, I mean there's nothing they

740
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:59,480
can do right, right, or
I'd be like, I'll get you next

741
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,400
time. Yes, that's what that's
my line. I'll get you know,

742
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:07,320
I'll come back. Yeah, sometimes
I did, you know a lot of

743
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:09,719
times with a flat tire or something, Like I told my kids, there's

744
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:14,440
times I'm driving my tire's low or
there's a nail in my tire. You

745
00:53:14,519 --> 00:53:20,079
just pull into like a tire station
where you know they're doing tires and just

746
00:53:20,119 --> 00:53:22,280
go, hey, can you check
my whatever? And if you have cash

747
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,119
give it to them. You know
they don't. They usually just go,

748
00:53:25,159 --> 00:53:28,239
oh, your tires alone, and
they just put air in it and it's

749
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,199
okay, you know. Or I
taught I taught Sonny how to put air

750
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:36,960
in the tire but I Tali you
too, But but you know, like

751
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,239
that can you can do that?
You know, and then you can just

752
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:43,159
be cash give them like ten bucks
or whatever and take thank you, like

753
00:53:44,079 --> 00:53:47,000
but you gotta figure it out.
It's just hard to figure out that line

754
00:53:47,039 --> 00:53:53,320
because I'm so I had such a
miserable time in my early twenties, in

755
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:58,760
my late teens and early twenties,
just having so many hard lessons, I

756
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:01,519
feel like, and I just don't
want my kids to feel like that.

757
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:06,239
At the same time, of course, I want them to be able to

758
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:10,679
fend for themselves. And I watch
LB like she did a lot of college

759
00:54:10,679 --> 00:54:14,719
stuff. She figured out a lot
on her own. Yeah, and a

760
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:16,039
lot of the time she was like, mom, I got it. But

761
00:54:16,079 --> 00:54:20,159
then there were times that she didn't
got it, and it bitter in the

762
00:54:20,199 --> 00:54:25,320
ass because there were certain things that
if I'd maybe been more on top of

763
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:30,880
her about certain things, maybe but
she ended listen. It all ended up

764
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:35,519
fine. She got into all the
UC's that she applied to, but you

765
00:54:35,559 --> 00:54:38,360
know, you remember that she didn't
wasn't able to do the TAG pro book

766
00:54:38,519 --> 00:54:43,920
or the TAP program. And if
I'd been like checking her work constantly,

767
00:54:44,079 --> 00:54:47,039
she probably would have been it all
worked out. Yeah, yeah, but

768
00:54:49,519 --> 00:54:54,199
yeah he's got to let them go
yep and figure it out right. Well

769
00:54:55,280 --> 00:55:00,599
before we go, we got we
got some shout outs. We have a

770
00:55:00,639 --> 00:55:06,960
new one now Stephanie Stinker Rinker is
still paying us the big bucks. And

771
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:10,079
I know she changed her shout out, but I don't have to look it

772
00:55:10,159 --> 00:55:15,920
up. So I'm going to go
with Trevor Project again because it's an amazing,

773
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:23,679
amazing charity and they really help all
the whole LGBTQ youth population. It's

774
00:55:23,679 --> 00:55:27,320
a great thing to give money too, so if you can, please do.

775
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,440
Also, we have a new one. It's our friend Jennifer Posner.

776
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:37,639
She's a longtime member of our fcol
community and she is an accounting it's like

777
00:55:37,639 --> 00:55:42,920
an accounting firm. She does accounting
in HR. If you're running a small

778
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:47,800
to medium sized restaurant and feeling overwhelmed
by the accounting and HR tasks. They

779
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:52,840
have thirty years of experience in the
restaurant industry. Her company is called JD.

780
00:55:53,079 --> 00:55:59,360
Posner Business Solutions. So to check
out what they do, fellow listener,

781
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:06,559
good to j D. Posner pos
n e R business solution not solutions,

782
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,400
just solution dot com nice yeah,
and see how she can support your

783
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:17,880
business journey. Also, our friend
Carrie Kibler another really cool. It's not

784
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:24,760
a nonprofit, but it's a it's
the just Nate but spelled just k nat

785
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:31,559
e dot com. He's the Hugger
handshake guy and he supports the unhoused and

786
00:56:31,559 --> 00:56:35,559
it's one of those things that he's
big on TikTok and the social media,

787
00:56:35,639 --> 00:56:39,159
and you give him money and he
goes and helpste homeless people. So it's

788
00:56:39,199 --> 00:56:45,079
really cool. Also, The Family
Skeptical is a podcast about raising kids without

789
00:56:45,079 --> 00:56:50,559
religion. If you're any stripe of
non believer, you're welcome at their podcast,

790
00:56:50,599 --> 00:56:57,639
The Family Skeptical. Also Wilmanfrida love
Us Willmanfrida Yes, Delicious Food,

791
00:56:58,039 --> 00:57:04,519
Delicious Food, Delicious, Oh my
god, the best. Also Madeleine Aubrey

792
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:09,000
Styling m A d E l i
n E Aubrey Styling. She's a fashion

793
00:57:09,199 --> 00:57:14,480
icon and a stylist and for years
she donated her time to all nonprofit and

794
00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:17,719
vets and the homeless. But now
she's trying to have like a solo business,

795
00:57:17,719 --> 00:57:22,079
So let's support her. Just go
to Instagram and follow her at least

796
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:27,880
to see what she does. At
Madeleine Aubrey Styling. Also every week we

797
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:31,559
got Adam Lerner, he's a car
broker. Go to Adams gootacar dot com

798
00:57:31,599 --> 00:57:37,239
to see how he can help you. And Mike Gerstein and Mike Gerstein if

799
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:43,760
you have any plumbing questions or if
you're in the Phoenix or Maricopa County area,

800
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:49,239
you can go to Phoenix Plumbingsolutions dot
com and all his informations right there.

801
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,599
He can help you over the phone
do it yourself projects annie as he

802
00:57:52,679 --> 00:57:57,760
can work with you with financing for
zero financing for the first six months.

803
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:01,599
He's got that too, So go
to Phoenix Plumbingsolutions dot com and hit up

804
00:58:01,599 --> 00:58:07,679
my pound mic and that's it.
Yeah, follow us on Please follow our

805
00:58:07,719 --> 00:58:13,719
Instagram at fcol podcast and it's also
our YouTube channel where we do our Thursday

806
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:19,880
shows and you join us on Patreon. I talked about sadies testing. Very

807
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,440
good, very interesting. Yeah,
yes, all right, thanks everybody.

808
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:30,559
You're a parent now, thanks Kaylon
go love. It's good matting