Hey, guys, you gotta head on down to Tropical Smoothie Cafe this summer
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Visit one of Tropical Smoothie Cafes fourteen hundred plus locations, or order online or
through their app Tropical Smoothie Cafe. You're on tropic time now, made a
decision. A face, it's sunny sun on iheadasion nice. Nice, So
what's up? Everybody? Welcome to for crying out? Hey what's that?
My god? Now we're just going to go back to going what Kayla?
Do you remember that? Right? I do? Yeah? Do you remember
where's the beef? I don't remember that one, Clara, Where's the beef
was a long lot longer, yeah, long long time ago compared to yeah,
you know what? That just made me think of because I think I
have a d D is that on clipped the show clipped. There were a
couple of times when stuff that was I believe happening like a long time ago.
Yes, they were used phrases that they use now, like TikTok like
and I was like, that is freaking lazy writing, right, I don't
remember what it was, but it was like, oh, that's such a
vibe or something that's like queen speak TikTok speak, And I'm like, nobody
said that in the freaking nineties. Yeah, I know, But was it
so wait clipped. I was trying, I would say, thinking about that,
but cliped took place, so it was the I just finished watching it.
But what years was it happening. I think it was happening like not
that long ago though, like I think it happened with the Donald Sterling stuff
was probably maybe like eight years ago, yeah, five years ago, eight
years ago. It was still before a few of the phrases, a few
of the phrases were the year it was phrases more than I do. Yeah,
so twenty fourteen, twenty fourteen, so ten years a year ago.
But also I feel like they were doing flashbacks to much even earlier stuff with
the Clippers, Donald Sterling stuff. I don't know. I just remember hearing
stuff and being like nobody started saying that until like a year ago, two
years ago, right, yeah, yeah, that's that is lazy. You
know. Do you remember the episode where they were like, where's the beef?
I was like, hey, Dad is eighty? Now your guys are
way off. Let us say hi to our fabulous people, like fabulous is
it? Yeah? Yeah, our special fabulous Aaron Dirty Sanchez and Sarah Sefano
she's our Paisano. And Leslie was still coughing. Boy, it's crazy.
And Alicia go Monday from the City of on Monday. And Kelly Brandt she
will definitely get you in her car. We're back on to open show.
Cute Va so hot. I think ish Va pays. I think he's married
now. I remember when he was engaged and they're having a baby. Really
yes, ah, congratulations. Now he's gonna listen to our show right and
years ago, Yes, put her on our show. It's gonna be like,
why are these women talking about your ass all the time. I don't
like that. Maybe don't have her listen to our show. Gabby and Missy
Oh, there they were at Eishan's wedding. Valerie Bubba Fenwick gets sit out
of the park, Polly, we love your your missus, Butterworth Pancakes,
syrup Zyrup, Athena Ginshirt, love your makeup. Yeah, Elizabeth Williamson,
we love all of your every single one of them. Yes, and Rita
Basinette loves to rock them. Jacob is so Growley, Leslie is the costing
people still, Nikki call your girl Aaron? Who does Katie's rolling on?
E Kelly Laddie do Ashley chic, Dick is frolicking. Jennifer's needs to stand
up, Sandra, It's not easy being green. Now, Christa, you
make us want a streap? Yes she do. Wow. So it's like
the freakin' uh, it's like a safari in my backyard really why, I
mean, it is like a jungle out there literally. So okay, I
know I've talked about animals. First there was the cockerroaches, and I know
I say cockerroach because my mom says cockroach. I've always said it that way.
But first was that. Now I haven't seen anything now, uh Okay.
So because of the fourth of July, I was gonna be gone all
day from the house. I got phil some like good like chewy treats,
like these bones that he likes that I got. I get from once in
a while for a special treat. But it's so dirty. And then you
know, you get them and there's like beef on the ball. It's they're
big for a big right, so that you won't eat it whole. Right,
So we were I was gonna be gone all day and the later of
like later in the afternoon. So I figured I'd get him this bone and
he can sit outside for like a couple hours enjoying his bone, and then
when I leave, you know, bring him back inside. Okay, So
he has this bone and we do all that. The next day, I
have the you know, I'm sitting by the window in my house and I
see this. It looked like a frickin' to me. It looked like a
lion jumping out of the So in my backyard there's a landscape where it goes.
It's butted up against the like the foothill mountains, okay, and it's
all it's all horse you know, those horse tails they call him where they
can get stuck in, you know, they're like prickly, and they're long
foxtails. Foxtails, thank you, okay, foxtails. So there those plants
are all in my backyard on the on the on the side of the mountain.
Then there's a retaining wall and there's the fence and everything that I set
up. So it's really all those foxtail bushes. It's camouflage you can't see,
but it's in my back yard. So out of nowhere, this like
coyote just jumps out onto the grass up against fire sliding glass door. Phil's
luckily inside. He's going nuts and the thing like I go, oh my
god, and I jump up and I go, you know, I like
hit the glass and he takes off, but he was going towards you know,
the bone out there. So I he takes off, and I was
like, oh my god. I've never seen a coyote in my backyard like
that ever since we've lived there. I got you didn't have little dogs that
well. No, imagine if I had a little chihuahua outside and I was,
you know, or even if Phil was outside. I don't know.
They say that they don't really come around big dogs, but I I don't
know, so right, yes, tru this thing is like had the balls
and the because the bone was by the glass. So he came and like
wanted to get the bone. The bone was on the inside though the bone
was aside on the grass. Oh, so he didn't grab the bone and
take off. He was going for it, but I scared him. When
he heard the bang, he took off and left. It was like a
scaredy cat. And I couldn't see because he jumped back into the bushes.
I couldn't see where, you know, how he got in or anything.
And so okay, So then like Natalia's home and I just told her what
happened, and she was freaking out. She's like, we got it.
I told her, I go, we got to look all around that fence.
There's fence way up at the top of the hill, you know,
like behind the bushes and the foxtails. So we had to like, you
know, put sweatpants on rain boots, like you know, hoodie because there's
like spider webs and trees and bushes and all kinds of brush you know that
we had to like so we she went one side, I went the other
side, and there's a hole. There was a hole in the chain link
fence, you know, about the size of a frisbee. And I was
like, okay, great, this is how they're getting in. And so
I got there. We had we have a big boulder, and I just
pushed it right up against the hole and that like there's no way, like
it's so heavy, like we just pushed it up and think okay. So
then I felt okay. But then like Sonny came home and he was like,
you know, I've heard they can hop fences that tall, you know,
like six to eight feet tall. They can hop the fences if they
get you know, something behind them whatever to leap onto. What they do
is they put their paws together and then they just hoist each other like Scooby
Doo. Just go out and catch them, and they're just like piled yeah,
stacked on top of each other and then pulling each other up by the
pause yeah grab my tail. So I know there's so now I'm like freaked
out. And then okay, so I get the bone inside, I spray
the water down and like you know, spray the lawn down so that it
doesn't have like any smell remnants maybe of the bone or whatever. Then like
the next that night, okay. So we go to fourth of July.
I come home that night for some reason I don't know. Oh, like
that, the the ac kicks on sometimes and my door, you know,
goes open because the suction of the house. Anyway, that happened, and
I look up and I could see the motion light in our backyard is on.
And I get up and there's two coyotes, two on our grass.
Oh my god, by our sliding door in our backyard, and they're just
like smelling, smelling. And now I'm like, okay, what the fuck?
So that was yeah, So now I'm like, and then is there
a doggy door that Phil can go in and out? No? Okay,
I know, I know. So then and then now yesterday, okay,
that happened. Then yesterday I'm in the worst. It's the middle of the
day and I'm talking to Sonny, and Sonn he goes, WHOA see out
the back window there's another one just in our What are they doing? I
don't know. I don't know, and I don't know what to do.
I you know, I can't give Phil a bone in our backyard. I
can't leave Phil outside in our backyard like they must be jumping over the fence,
or they're coming in another way like they're they might be getting under a
fence in some spots, Like have you thought about asking the owner of the
house I'm going to today? Yeah, I was gonna say that there's things
that keep coyotes away, But then I was thinking the thing I was thinking
of was coyote p which is probably knocking to ward off coyotes their pace.
I think that isn't that for snakes. I think it's for I think it
is forced. I don't know, because we had a snake problem a couple
of years ago, which was awful. That was the other house. Yes,
like I don't know, I've we had. I mean there was some
some kind of snake nest in our on our property because every other day there
was a snake found and we were like Adam was building, was construction was
going on, and so like the guys would go find another snake in the
driveway, you know, and like just these huge snakes. Or I would
come home with the kids walking up the stairs and there's just like this big
like snake coiled up on our front steps. What we had a call like
yeah, and like nobody would There was one time we were just me and
the two kids. Nobody was there. It was like eight o'clock at night,
and one of the guys told me, I said, what if I
find a snake? When I'm like, what am I supposed to do?
They said, call the fire department. They're up the street. They come
out and take care of it. So I called the fire department. They
came out and they're like, yeah, there's snakes everywhere. And then they
told us. I told them how there snakes everywhere around our property. But
I said, on our property, like, we found like eight snakes in
the last like two weeks on our property, like on our steps, like
not just in the brook, in the bush. Right, And Molly theah
got bit by snake on that she did? She did on that property?
Yes, oh yeah, I'll never forget it. She was, she was
out. We let her out at night to go pee. She came back
and she had this big all of a sudden, this big lump on her
snout just blew up like a little like a little golf ball. And I
was like, what happened to Mollie? Adam, Yeah, she's okay,
she's okay. I don't know. She must have something, must have bit
her and I go, I think something bitter, but it looks like it's
swelling up, and I go, I'm going to take her to the to
the hospital. Oh, she's fine, she's fine. They take her to
the hospital and immediately they go, m oh, she must have been stung
by a bee. And then they see her and they go, oh,
no, no, no, that's a snake bite. She needs to come
in right away. So they gave her, like hospitalized her. They gave
her anti venom, which is, you know, to get rid of the
the poison, and they hospitalize her for like two nights and then she was
okay. But you know, we she was bit by a snake. And
then now a year later, we have a snake problem. So we had
some guy come out and he did something. But anyway back to the coyote
or ill wait, but so the guy came out and did he find the
snake nest? I can't remember because it was so I don't think he did.
No, he just said it they'll probably start to go away because they
probably gave birth or something. And now you know, now like, yeah,
I know, I don't think he I don't remember him finding anything.
But then like I was like looking online how to train Molly with, you
know, for snake and stuff. But I yes, yeah, so because
and that's something Phil would do too, Like if he saw something, he
would run right up to it, whether it's a coyote or a snake.
And there's tons of snakes in our neighborhood too right now because of the heat.
I know. It's scared because Molly or Phil ever been sprayed by a
skunk? Molly has, Yes, that's the worst. Yeah, I mean
Penelope like three different times. Oh really, Yeah, you have the recipe
of what to put on them. Yep. You need hydrogen peroxide, don
dysh soap and and baking soda okay, yeah, and you just put it
all together and then you bathe them in it, right yeah right, Well
you're lucky you don't have any coyotes. So I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna have to call the owners, but I don't know what they're
gonna do, like maybe extend the fence higher, I guess, I don't.
I don't know, or go around and look for holes that they could
be coming in or underneath the fence or something. They gotta do something,
Yeah, you got to do something. Because otherwise it's not safe out there,
right, I know, although coyotes are kind of small, they are,
and Phil is pretty big. Yes, he's out like one hundred pounds,
ye right, Yeah. I don't think that they would bother Phil.
I really don't. On the other hand, though, if there's more than
one of them, that's bad because they will attack a dog. Yes,
and there's two. If there's where there's two, there's more. I now
pack a coyotes somewhere. That's really scary. I know. I have so
much fear of coyotes in my neighborhood. Remember when I got tracked by a
there was a coyote, and then there were two of them, and Penelope
will try to fight them, Like if she sees a coyote, she'll go
crazy and try to get at them. And then one time she got out
of her She wears a prong collar, and she busted out of it because
every time I don't know if you remember this, but every time I would
have a harness on her, she found a way to fight out of the
harness and she would get loose, and she's super stubborn, so she would
just dig her heels in even in the harness and just refuse to walk with
you, and John would have to sometimes physically pick her up and then carry
her. So once we got the prong collar, it's never hurt her.
We've never had to like yank it. But she just knows she can't get
out of it, so it helps a little bit. But one time she
got I saw coyotes and then she got out of the prong collar and tried
to chase them, and I had to like tackle her in the street.
It was horrible. I was like crying. Yeah, I had to call
John to come pick me up in the car. Yeah, there's I'm scared
of coyote now, I know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't
know. I just we're gonna have to figure something out. But there was
just they were all over my backyard last few days, and it's scary,
really scary. Yeah, and you know there's phil and also like I not
leaving, like there's no food out there, there's you know, and for
a while there's been no coyotes. But ever since that bone showed up,
you know, there's been so I don't know if I sprayed it down good
enough or what, but it's grass, Like I don't know what you're supposed
to. Did Phil ever get to enjoy the bone? He did for a
few hours. Then it came back and took it. It came back again
and took it. Oh the coyote actually, yes, the bone. Yes.
The first time I hit the window and he took off. The second
time, I see the light because I have the motion sensor light which doesn't
scare them away, and I saw the light was on, and I go,
shit. I go to the window and there he is, and he's
got the bone in his mouth and he's taken off. Oh man, I
know, I go, Phil, he just took your bone. Phil,
you're just gonna sit there and let that stupid coyote take your bone. You're
not going to do anything about it, right, Oh I had never let
that. Yeah. And then so now the kids are like, don't let
Philly. Nobody's letting Phil outside unless they keep an eye on him. Yeah.
So yeah, I think if you're out there or the kids are out
there with Phil, it'll probably keep the coyotes away. Yes, but that's
a pain, I know. Sorry, Yeah, you know what's not a
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Smoothie Cafe. You're on Tropic time now. So did what did you do
on July fourth? Well, I had some friends over Sunny and Italia were
gone. They went around with their friends and we went to me and my
friends went to the country club by the pool. They had a barbecue.
We did it pretty like early, like around twelve one o'clock, and then
hung out. Country clubs are great for July fourth. Yeah, it was
nice, but you know, if you have kids, like stay watched the
fireworks. But we got there like in the middle of the day and a
bunch of us, you know, we were in the pool hanging out.
It was fun seeing like friends of ours. My friend Dawn and her husband
came. Did you hear about this long beach boating accident that happened over the
weekend. No, you didn't hear about it. It was it was I
don't know, one of these big fair I don't know if it was a
fairy, I don't know what kind of boat it was. But there was
ten people that were sent to the hospital, a lot of them in critical
and one person died. No. One person that died was Don's husband,
Steve's like one of his best friends. Oh no, I know, And
it was the night before fourth of July and he came anyway, and he
told us what happened and it was really sad but but yeah, but other
than that, it was nice, like we got together and we hung out.
We had hamburgers hot dogs all day by the pool, and then we
went and a lot of them haven't seen my house. So then we went
back to my house and hung out and then that was it. Called it
called it a night. What'd you do? And what happy birthday? Thank
you? July fourth did nothing. We got the results of Sadie's testing that
she had done. That was at like two o'clock in the afternoon for something
at such a random time on a holiday. But so anyway, we don't
usually do that much on the fourth, we haven't instance, we got Penelope,
so yeah, but the kids had friends over. They've been just very
very social albe had like multiple parties. But we just stayed home. And
then the next day was my birthday, which, as you know, I
don't care about my birthday. No I say, I don't care about other
people's birthdays, but I especially don't care about my birthday. But like when
you have kids, they they like to celebrate your birthday except for my kids.
MI kid should be your kids. Although Natalia has gotten bad, like
as she's gotten older, she's gotten different, But like my gids barely know
when my birthday is. They just really really like memorized it, probably in
the last few years. I feel like Natalia has always been pretty good,
though she's gotten better. Yeah, she's gotten into it more as she's gotten
older. But Sonny, no, well, I think that that's more typical.
I think that I don't think that my kids care about my birthday because
they're like such good people. I think that John is very sentimental. Yeah,
John is. John is like a pleaser. He's very He remembers his
sister's birthday, his sister's kids' birthdays. I'm bad at it. Yeah,
even when they were younger, he'd be like, oh, it's it's you
know, our niece's birthday is like in two days or whatever. And in
my I don't give a fuck, like, you know, even though she
was young. But it's like maybe because when I was young, I just
yeah, I just wasn't raised in that same way to care about it.
But so he's very conscious of like wants to be a good gift giver and
like that's so nice. But he doesn't like you to make a big deal
about his birthday either, right, So it's not like he's doing that because
you know, getting gifts. His gifts are his love language. It's just
sort of like I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. I mean
the way I an Italian families. You know, you're raised to like always
go give your aunt to hug and kiss when you walk in the house,
Like, oh, did you give her a hug and kiss? Goodbye?
Go say goodbye to everybody? Go hug and kiss goodbye, good bye,
goodbye. And then it's like birthdays, like did you wish your uncle John
a birthday? You know, it's always like when your mother's birthdays coming,
you know, what are you gonna get your mother for her birthday? You
know, like a lot of that. But my you know, so I
got a lot of that. So but it wasn't that big of a deal
in my family. My mom made a big deal out of every you know,
her kids's birthdays. But I would I would know when my parents' birthdays
were, and I would like go and buy them a little gift or you
know, want to like, you know, celebrate their birthday. But then
we started a family, and then you know, their dad never really cele
came from a family never celebrating birthdays really, but I thought it. I
looked at it as a lack of respect, like it's your father's birthday,
you know, let's go, let's go find something, buy something your money,
like save up your money, let's go buy something for your father's birthday.
You know. That's but then it kind of went out the windows they
got older. But the weird thing is an Italia you know, likes it
and kind of stuck with it. Sonny again like neither here nor there.
You know. Sunny's line is your birthday presents coming in the mail, like
it's on its way. It's on its way. You know. It's like
a running joke, right, Yeah, I guess with John, Christmas became
like a big thing of like really wanting, always wanting to get everybody just
the right presence. And then that kind of caught fire with me where I
started feeling really obligated to like and then their birthdays. But their birthdays are
kind of close to Christmas, so I never really did a big birthday present
for them, So it's like something small, a token, but then Christmas
is coming up, so I got to save up for that. But I
don't know, I just feel like what you're saying, which is that I
don't want it to be an obligation. I don't want it to ever be
something that like John has to be like, well, mom's birthdays coming up,
what are you getting her? Like? I hate that. Yeah,
I want to be somebody's obligation to like celebrate my birthday when I don't care,
especially it's not like a milestone birthday. And listen much respect to people
that really like celebrating their birthday. We all have different backgrounds. That's fine.
As I've said many times, I don't want it to be your birthday
month care. I like it when friends say, like no gifts. But
this is kind of funny. So you know how I was telling you.
I guess it was last week about how I don't I don't like getting gifts
from like my friends because and I guess I said, because like who needs
another candle? You know? But so last night went to dinner with Julie
Julie Kasem because her birthday is on July fourth, right, mine is on
the fifth. Our friend Laura is obsessed with people's birthdays. She is the
birthday keeper. She knows when every single one of her friends's birthday is.
She has to buy you presents. She makes a big deal. Yeah,
so we have this our whole mom group of friends and as I've told you
this before, we all go out for each other's birthday. Well, some
of these bitches like gifts, you know, so some of them are like,
if you don't say no gifts, it's known that you're gonna gifts.
And as I said, I know I said this last week, but it's
coming back. I don't want to have to be like, well, what
is Carol like for her birthday? And then people go, oh, she
loves a puzzle. And then I go, all right, I got to
go to Target and get a puzzle. It seems so stupid because like,
go buy your own puzzle. Yeah, why don't your friends have to get
involved in this? I guess they like the whole idea of at the end
of the dinner, like the person starts opening their gifts and every But it
brings me back to childhood where and this is like my own problem probably one
year and I believe it was when I was ten. I had this friend
who had a birthday party. The kids would Back in the day, when
we were kids, you opened your gifts in front of people. Eventually that
changed and now kids don't open gifts in front of other kids. You save
all the gifts, right, kaylin, If you have a birthday party for
your kid, you take all the gifts home and then they open it in
their own time. Okay, you don't like because you don't want to hear
the kid like complaining I want one of those can you open your plate co
thing that you got like, I want to play with it, right right,
right, So it became a thing that you open it at home.
The only time I believe that you really open gifts in front of people is
a baby shower. Well, we sat when we were having baby showers,
were like, no opening gifts, We don't need to open the gifts in
front of everybody. At some point it switched back again where we did open
gifts. Then we did start opening gifts in front of everybody because we tried
it, and then people were like, that sucks because you buy a nice
gift, you want to see them open it and everybody go oh, oh,
oh cute. Exactly exactly. Then we did it. Then we decided
to do it, which bothers me because then you have to have that adjita
before you go like, uh, is my gift going to be spending?
Like hopefully you got something from the registry that they wanted, but it's just
like I don't like that feeling. So when I was ten, somebody at
a birthday party, one of my friends, and I wanted to get them
a Janice Ian record. Hey, And it was nobody's idea of a ten
year old gift. But I liked my parents' taste in music, so they
listened to like shit that nobody was listening to, like folk music, and
like, you know, my mom liked like Vagina music. Yes, so
Janice Ian I learned the truth seventeen The Love was Mint, Yes, So
I loved that song, and I was like, oh, my friend who's
turning ten. If I love this song, she's gonna love this song.
So I bring and I believe at the time my mom was like, are
you sure? Like I think my mom even knew better, but I was
like, yes, Like I love this album, the whole album. I
loved all the songs. I was like, she's gonna love I was obsessed.
I bring it to her. It's everybody opens Presence, and I will
ever forget that. She opened that record and was like who what and everybody
was like, ah, what, who's that? And I was like crushed.
She had is Ian. I learned the truth seventeen and I was traumatized
by the real by the underwhelmed response that I got from her. I mean
speed Wagons, like third hit album. Oh my gosh, she has beg's,
Like there was stuff that was very in vogue at that time, cool
gifts, you know, and I felt so shamed that I developed like a
weird thing of like giving people gifts that they open in front of other people.
And now I still have that like is it going to be good?
Are they going to be like oh what? Yeah? I know I've had
I've given gifts where they were like like or who gave the gift of the
you know, It's like I don't like having people opening gifts gifts in front
of everybody. Yeah. Also because even if you think something's really funny,
you know, you give somebody like kind of a joke gift, but then
the other people are kind of like pearl clutchers and you're like, oh,
I gave you something that says cunt on it and you've opened it, and
other people are like, oh, wow, you know I don't. I
just always feel awkward and self conscious about So I like to give people the
gift of not having to give me a gift on my birthday. But that
is not to say that I hate candles. So anyway, last night,
went to dinner and my friend Laura was like, I'm getting you guys a
gift. Whether you like it or not, it's it's fun for me.
Okay. Fine, So Julie brings a little bag, a little cute gift,
and I was like, Julie, why did you get me a gift?
Do you know better? I said, we said no gifts. Julie
and I agree, like we're not getting gifts, and she's like, oh,
it's just like I just had to. I just had to. I
just had to. I open it up and it's a candle, like this
flavor that's really good that I really like, and I was like, oh
my gosh, like and she goes, it's a joke. I was totally
joking because you said on the podcast that you don't like candles. And I
was like, well, the joke's on you, bitch, because I do
like this candle. And I was like, well, did you go buy
the candle? And she goes no, and she goes I found it in
my house. It's like my mom gave it to me and I didn't want
it. And I was like, well, I do want it. I
did you feel moded because I want this candle. She was like, but
you said you hate candles. I was like no, I just meant like,
I don't need eight of them from like random friends. I don't I
have. I have a lot of candles, but like I love this candle.
I love candles. I think they were like the best gifts, say
you and I can't have enough? You know, no, I know.
I think I was just using that because I even said last week you don't
need another candle, right, you like another candle? Yes? And even
like our friend Fern candle or friend Kelsey who has a great cand I was
like, they make great gifts because they do for like a housewarming present,
like she makes the wax melts. I'm giving you your shout out now,
by the way, but like those kind of candles, Yes, they went
like hotcakes at the where I did the raffle for them. People love candles.
I love candles, but I just meant that in theory of like,
I don't need people going to like a candle place and going like, oh,
what is definitely gonna like yes, yeah, now I get it.
So you had a good time at the dinner? Was it at the place
where the guy sings? So that is next week? That is this coming
up Saturday. We're gonna do that with my big group of mom friends.
We couldn't figure out a day that worked, but I went with Julie and
Laura separately last night, and then for my actual birthday, we went to
Beni Hannah. Yes. Nice, you know I love an onion volcano.
Do you catch anything in your mouth? No? He did different the guy,
our hibachi guy had like a different delivery. He had some new jokes.
He didn't do the beating heart out of the rice. He did a
misspac Man or a pac Man. Yeah. Super fun. The food was
delicious. I ate way too much. Nice. Yeah, but let's take
a quick break. This message is sponsored by green Light Listen. As the
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fcol. So the one thing about the birthday that is better for you with
the kids is I feel like I feel like my birthday turned into a way
for me to feel obligated for me to spend time with my kids because I
think I told you I was gonna go do something, and Sadie was like,
oh, Sadie was gonna possibly take a babysitting job, and then she's
like, no, I'm not. It's your birthday. And I was like,
go babysit. It's fine. Let me go to the gym or do
my own Who cares, right, what it's like forced spend time with everybody
all day long and have them sit and stare at me and go, it's
your birthday. Yeah, yeah, every your birthday is just to be able
to just chill out and do your thing. No, or have it be
like every other day of the year. You don't care. It's fun to
go out for dinner, but you know, right, yeah, it's funny
because Sonny has a friend. Okay, they were I forgot what they were
doing a little while ago. It was like a concert or of something that
was coming to town and him and his friends were going to like go to
it or something, and his one friend who they love and they wanted him
to come, couldn't make it because it's his mom's birthday. This is what
I don't like and he was like and all his friends, and Sonny was
like, you're really like you can't. It's not until later until the night,
like you can go and like have dinner with your mom and then come
meet us or something, right, And he was like no, no,
no, no, no, I gotta spend the day and then we're going
going to dinner. There's all these plans. And then this is what I
say. I would not leave him alone. And then and then he even
asked this older sister that he was like, my friends really want me to
come or whatever, and his older sister was like, good luck with that,
good luck with talking to mom about that, Sonny. And Sonny brings
it up so much to the point where I go, all right, Sonny,
okay, it was his mom's where he loves his mom. No,
but I get it. I was like that, that's ridiculous. That's ridiculous.
But there are a lot of people there that and I'm sure we're offending
some people right now that are like, well, yeah, it's the mom's
birthday, Like that's the one day of the year, like I do stuff
for you all all year, Like I want my family together celebrating my birthday.
I get it, but I don't really get it. Right. It's
weird when you don't feel I don't relate to that. So I don't understand
making your kids. But I'm sure there's a lot of parents that are just
like, dude, it's once a year. They cannot make plans with their
friends one day and have family time. Yeah yeah, But at the same
time, I know, why can't they just go to dinner with you and
then leave and go with their friends, right right? Yeah don't. I
know. I don't get it, but I guess some of the kids want
to. Some of the kids are like, oh, no, it's my
mom's birthday. Yeah, I must sit and stare at her and wish her
happy birthday a hundred times. Right, that's crazy. I don't want that.
Yeah, well, now your birthday's over. So funny thing that will
probably get you know, talked about and judged. But okay, so I
think this is just kind of funny. So Elbe is nineteen years old.
She'll be twenty in November. She has been really independent, you know,
girls had a job since she was seventeen, newly minted seventeen, she got
her job, still working at the same place, never late, never been
late, figures out how to like set her alarm to get to work.
You know, she drives everywhere. She plans elaborate trips. She's gone out
of town, you know, so you would think that the day that was,
I don't know, like a week ago or so, she had a
doctor's appointment. It's her physical you know, she knows where it is.
She's been going to the same doctor's office for a million years, you know,
so she went to the doctor. First thing, first text I get
is which door do I go in? Okay, So at our doctor's office,
there's one door that's for like sick kids, and then there's another door
and they're literally next to each other. Okay, so they're side by side
kind of. One goes into like the side of the office and one goes
into the like reception area. Okay, so the other door says, well
visits, right, Okay, She's pretty easy for a kid who's taken ten
AP classes and right. So I get a text. First thing I get
a text of like, mom, which door do I go in? So
I don't go, well, what do you think? I'm just like you
go into the door on the right, the one that says, well,
visits, you're just having a physical, you know. She's like, okay,
okay, the one the one that says what like she has to reiterate,
like and I picture her standing out there paralyzed with like uncertainty. Okay,
so the okay, the one on the right. Yes, I'll be
the one on the right that says, well, visits okay, and then
I go Then you just go in there, give them your name, and
then you know, okay, okay, got it. So she goes in.
So time goes by, I literally get a text from her. She's
like, mom, I feel like I should read the text. It's pretty
funny. And basically she's like, hold on, I'm I'm going to find
this text because it's funny. She said. It's funny because Natalia just went
to urgent care by herself again just over the weekend. But she was out
of town, like in Manhattan Beach, and it was a it was a
female emergency, and she asked me, should I go to urgent care not?
And I said yes, you should, and she did, but she
had questions but go ahead, Okay, she had questions. Okay, So
so this I can't I can't even find the texting that went, but she
said, oh, okay. First I got the witch entrance do I use?
And then I got a crying face, like but actual, not the
cry laughing, but the like, oh no, like what do I do?
And I wrote, well, visit and she goes okay, and I
said to the right, and she goes perfect, and then she and then
okay. Then she writes me there's a random balance of like fifteen dollars on
the account. By the way, I don't know what that is, and
I, oh, just tell them that I'll pay it later. First of
all, I was a little bit annoyed, like, why are you telling
my daughter of the balance? It's fifteen dollars? Relaxed, you know,
just weigh her and shut up. Okay. So then I said tell them
I'll pay it, and then she wrote, oh no, okay. This
is why I couldn't find it on the text she calls me mom. Yeah.
She's like, I'm in the parking lot and I can't get out because
I don't have any I don't have any cash. And I'm like okay,
and she goes and I don't even I go, well, you have to
you can take your take your ATM card, go into the gift shop area
and get and take money out of the bank, take get cash. And
she's like, well I can't. I don't have my wallet. Okay,
what are you She's like, I forgot my wallet. I was like,
you forgot? You didn't think to bring your wallet? Like you need your
driver's license, you're driving. How do you forget? What do you mean
you forgot your wallet? How does your brain not go like, I'm leaving
the house and going to a professional place, I might need my drivers.
What are you thinking about? And when you pulled into the parking lot and
saw that it said cash only, didn't you think of it? Then?
When you don't normal people think of that? And of course I'm so annoyed
because I was like, first of all, it's like I'm gonna have to
go rescue her because what she This is how they learn, though, you
know, they have to learn. Like in kids, they don't think about
you know, they don't think about that stuff when they're leaving the house,
but they think about it. My complaint is they think about it when it's
something for them, Like way you're telling them to go do something, they
don't they're just like all right, right, and then they have all the
questions right when she's Somehow she managed to figure out ubers rides all the logistics
of going to the rave that she went to. Yeah, they can figure
shit out. With the house music party that was three hours away, they
can figure I got no questions on that. But yet she pulled into a
parking lot and didn't think to bring her wallet because I think she thought she
was doing me a favor by going to the doctor on her own, because
I'm not taking her to the doctor. And also about yeah that, well
maybe she thought they had all the information they needed there and she didn't think
about parking, you know. But I just thought it was funny, it
is. I wasn't like mad at her about I was like, this is
pretty funny that she's going off to college by herself, and like she better
start thinking about bringing her purse places. So I had to go get her
purse, bring it to and some extra cash so that she wouldn't have to
do Yes, I did. I pulled up outside. Well, luckily,
it's it's almost walking distance from my house, so I just I pulled up
outside. She grabbed her stuff, and then I rove around the block and
went home, but I just thought it was kind of funny. It is
it is, It is funny, but you know they'll get better, more
experience under their belt, you know, like Natalie's been urging care twice now
on her own. Yeah, so what happened with her, Well, she
was it was fine, but like there was I don't need to get into
what it was, but it was a female issue, and so I said,
you should probably go to It's probably fine, but you should go to
urgent care anyway, just to get it checked out. And then she's like,
I do in my car here, like it's fourth of July every and
I'm like, can you have a friend drive you? And she's like,
nobody wants to go sit at urgent care anyway. She couldn't find it.
So I found an urgent care near her, so she got the uber.
She she gets there and now she's kind of like a pro like she's got
but they don't take our insurance, you know, they didn't. They didn't
take our insurance for some reason, which was I thought was weird. But
so she do you do you have? I have anthem Ppo? Okay,
yeah, so they didn't take it. I don't know. Yeah, it
was weird. But so then she I give them my credit card and whatever.
But then after that, like she now she knows how to fill out
the paperwork. And so because she's a veteran now of gone to urgent care,
like now she knows what's up. She got all the information like pediatrician,
who's your doctor, you know at name and address, blah blah blah.
You know. So now she's got all of that, and her medical
insurance too, she has on her phone now, so that's good. So
I think it's just repetition, like you know, not doing it before,
or brand new experience kind of thing. I just can't help but think,
yeah, in times like this, the same thing as you of just like
and me. I mean, I want to have my kids feel secure that
they of course they can call me and ask me. At the same time,
I'm always like I had to do so much on my own. I
mean at nineteen, I lived by myself. I mean I had a roommate,
but my roommate was seventeen, so she looked to me to be the
parent. I had to figure everything out. There's not one thing that I
remember being able to call my mom and go I don't know what to do.
Also, I lived far away. I remember my car getting towed because
I didn't because I parked in a illegal parking zone. And then I had
to figure out on my own because you know, it was at night and
my parents were on the East coast and not that interested in helping anyway figure
out. I called the police because I thought my car was stolen, and
they're like, did you where are you parked? Like did you check?
Are you in a toway zone? And I was like, oh so I
am. You know, then I had to figure out how to figure out
what the towyard is where they brought your car, and you know, they're
like there should be a phone number here, And then I had to figure
out how to get to the towyard. How do I come up with the
money to pay to get my car out? But like that's that's like a
a situation. But just like grocery shopping and how do you meal? How
do you plan for like what you're going to eat? How do I how
do I get you know, my refrigerator's broken? How do all those things
that I was forced to do? Right, That's the only way they learn
is they have to be forced to learn, you know, figure it out
on your own. And you know, parents these days are easy to help
out, just like I am all the time. But you know it's now
they're getting older and I am seeing now that I'm telling them, like,
well, you're eighteen, you figure it out, Like you got to figure
it out. This is going to happen. You know, you're traveling,
you got to take this with you. You got to be responsible for this
that you know, figure it out and hopefully they figure it out. Isn't
it hard though to know what is snowplow parenting where you're like clear, you
know it's not helicopter parenting, but it's the snowplow, Like I don't want
to run into an obstacle, but let me figure ahead of time. Yeah,
and I think we I think of things that happened to me when I
was a kid that were really hard lessons, you know, Like I mean
I almost had my car repossessed because I didn't know enough to like pale,
I was very irresponsible. We've talked about this many times, but you know,
getting parking tickets and then eventually getting a boot on my car. Irresponsibility
meets with but like a lot of risk taking behavior that I don't want my
kids to be stuck to learn certain lessons the real hard way. But then
how do you know when you're handicapping them by taking away the hard lesson that
you know, and when you're just being a good parent that loves your kids.
That's tough. Yeah, you don't have all the answers. I don't
have the answers. I think when they are going off to college, though,
it's they're going to be They're going to have to figure shit out on
their own. And and I'm I'm already trying to start that with them now,
but like once they're gone, like you can't, I'm not gonna be
there. You know he's gonna be there. You're gonna figure it out.
You have to just figure it out. You get stuck inside of a parking
lot because you didn't bring your credit card and your money or whatever, well
then ask the guy if he's got venmo or what. I don't know.
I'm nobody's gonna be around. You're just gonna have to figure it out.
I'm sure gonna get a lot of phone calls. But I feel like it's
happened to me before where I've gotten stuck in a lot because they only took
cash and they didn't have it, and I feel like eventually they just have
to let me go. That's what they've done. I know for me too.
I've been stuck inside too without like oh you know something's not or whatever,
Like I didn't know I didn't have cash when I was younger. Yeah,
they just have to let you go. What are they gonna do arrest
you, put you on parking jokes? Yeah, I mean there's nothing they
can do right, right, or I'd be like, I'll get you next
time. Yes, that's what that's my line. I'll get you know,
I'll come back. Yeah, sometimes I did, you know a lot of
times with a flat tire or something, Like I told my kids, there's
times I'm driving my tire's low or there's a nail in my tire. You
just pull into like a tire station where you know they're doing tires and just
go, hey, can you check my whatever? And if you have cash
give it to them. You know they don't. They usually just go,
oh, your tires alone, and they just put air in it and it's
okay, you know. Or I taught I taught Sonny how to put air
in the tire but I Tali you too, But but you know, like
that can you can do that? You know, and then you can just
be cash give them like ten bucks or whatever and take thank you, like
but you gotta figure it out. It's just hard to figure out that line
because I'm so I had such a miserable time in my early twenties, in
my late teens and early twenties, just having so many hard lessons, I
feel like, and I just don't want my kids to feel like that.
At the same time, of course, I want them to be able to
fend for themselves. And I watch LB like she did a lot of college
stuff. She figured out a lot on her own. Yeah, and a
lot of the time she was like, mom, I got it. But
then there were times that she didn't got it, and it bitter in the
ass because there were certain things that if I'd maybe been more on top of
her about certain things, maybe but she ended listen. It all ended up
fine. She got into all the UC's that she applied to, but you
know, you remember that she didn't wasn't able to do the TAG pro book
or the TAP program. And if I'd been like checking her work constantly,
she probably would have been it all worked out. Yeah, yeah, but
yeah he's got to let them go yep and figure it out right. Well
before we go, we got we got some shout outs. We have a
new one now Stephanie Stinker Rinker is still paying us the big bucks. And
I know she changed her shout out, but I don't have to look it
up. So I'm going to go with Trevor Project again because it's an amazing,
amazing charity and they really help all the whole LGBTQ youth population. It's
a great thing to give money too, so if you can, please do.
Also, we have a new one. It's our friend Jennifer Posner.
She's a longtime member of our fcol community and she is an accounting it's like
an accounting firm. She does accounting in HR. If you're running a small
to medium sized restaurant and feeling overwhelmed by the accounting and HR tasks. They
have thirty years of experience in the restaurant industry. Her company is called JD.
Posner Business Solutions. So to check out what they do, fellow listener,
good to j D. Posner pos n e R business solution not solutions,
just solution dot com nice yeah, and see how she can support your
business journey. Also, our friend Carrie Kibler another really cool. It's not
a nonprofit, but it's a it's the just Nate but spelled just k nat
e dot com. He's the Hugger handshake guy and he supports the unhoused and
it's one of those things that he's big on TikTok and the social media,
and you give him money and he goes and helpste homeless people. So it's
really cool. Also, The Family Skeptical is a podcast about raising kids without
religion. If you're any stripe of non believer, you're welcome at their podcast,
The Family Skeptical. Also Wilmanfrida love Us Willmanfrida Yes, Delicious Food,
Delicious Food, Delicious, Oh my god, the best. Also Madeleine Aubrey
Styling m A d E l i n E Aubrey Styling. She's a fashion
icon and a stylist and for years she donated her time to all nonprofit and
vets and the homeless. But now she's trying to have like a solo business,
So let's support her. Just go to Instagram and follow her at least
to see what she does. At Madeleine Aubrey Styling. Also every week we
got Adam Lerner, he's a car broker. Go to Adams gootacar dot com
to see how he can help you. And Mike Gerstein and Mike Gerstein if
you have any plumbing questions or if you're in the Phoenix or Maricopa County area,
you can go to Phoenix Plumbingsolutions dot com and all his informations right there.
He can help you over the phone do it yourself projects annie as he
can work with you with financing for zero financing for the first six months.
He's got that too, So go to Phoenix Plumbingsolutions dot com and hit up
my pound mic and that's it. Yeah, follow us on Please follow our
Instagram at fcol podcast and it's also our YouTube channel where we do our Thursday
shows and you join us on Patreon. I talked about sadies testing. Very
good, very interesting. Yeah, yes, all right, thanks everybody.
You're a parent now, thanks Kaylon go love. It's good matting