WEBVTT

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Good Monday morning world. But now
me's here or without Danny, I don't

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know what he's doing. I'm not
gonna make up something and saying he's getting

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some type of botox or I had
to go to the d m V.

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I had to take a day off
to knock out Christmas shopping or hang up

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his lights. I don't know.
I don't know where Danny's at. I

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think he's taking days. I'm in
the taking day's mode of the year now

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I think we are. I'll take
some days. Hell yeah, I am

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two man. I'm gonna take it. Some days. They give us the

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days we should take them. You
to not take the days. You're a

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mission essential. Nah, you'd be
amazed if I turned in my pink slip.

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But is that what you do when
you quit pink slip? I think

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you receive what pink sp Oh,
you receive one that means that they're Oh,

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I think so right? If I
turn in my ass cheeks and say,

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because that's how I'll quit by mooning
the office is this place will probably

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fly to greater heights the minute I
woke up. No, don't say that

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it will. It is a notice
of dismissal given to an employee a pink

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slip. I won't get one of
those, You sure if I do,

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they'll not. If I do,
there'll be a bumpshell article written in the

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New York Times. Every time I
go by my desk, I'm expecting a

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red piece of paper, yeah,
and a piece of tape, like in

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Major League when they go on to
the clubhouse and they're trying not to get

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cut. Every time, I'll get
cut for performance based reasons. Probably i'll

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get cut because of budget constraints.
Let's be honest. That's what I will

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cut for. But it'll happen,
and then this place will get better ratings

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the minute I'm gone. It'll be
amazing. I don't think so how it

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works, because I understand that sentiment
about how, in general, anything is

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better when you're not there, and
I do hear that, but I've got

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to know you now, and I
don't. I don't agree with it.

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Yeah, I think life's better than
KT's around, and life's better when Danny's

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around. Two. I'm not gonna
lie he's not here today, Yeah,

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Danny, Oh, it's gone.
Talio is not here, that's all.

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He's not doing anything. He's home
listening, right, now because it idiots

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away. He's not up, man, I don't know what has scene is.

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I would say, let's call him, but no, it's something we

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used to do to you. Yeah, on the Old Morning Show her answer

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one time and what you did?
We finally quit calling you. We were

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like, if you'll just answer one
time, it'll stop. I think it

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was nine o'clock in the segment.
I answered, oh what, but I

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don't know. That's uh, Danny, do you get what we get fifteen

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days? I really don't know what
either get fifteen I'm not sure I should

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go through really everything in the contract. Oh my god, by contracts wild

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and completely invalid. It's kind of
amazing. He's older, right, yeah,

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and it was never right in the
first place, Like as far as

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what job you had and what you're
doing, yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

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Many a lawyers would be like,
yeah, that's not gonna that.

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That wouldn't hold up. Probably should
have fine toothcomb that thing a little more

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than when I gave a big thumbs
up and grabbed a pen. I mean

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I tried to Well, Danny's gone. Danny's gone. I think that's the

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first like this is the first day
he's taken obviously the first contract I've ever

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signed, I think, Oh really, I think, yeah, congratulations.

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Ryan was in twenty twenty two,
and it was a big difference than not

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having one. Yeah, but like
or not, I'm also I'm good not

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having one because they're rules and you
know, where's the cutoff? Like,

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the most people listening not have a
contract. I don't think a lot of

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people do, man. I think
most people don't, right, I think

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most people don't. Yeah, if
you don't have a contract, then you

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probably don't have a noncompete clause.
Oh yeah, no doubt for all the

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worlds of business out there, big
thing in the world of sales non competes.

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Yeah. I think he took one
day this year so far. Well,

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they were talking about Ryaner not taking
a lot of days and yin are

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basically just burned his during the playoff
run. Yeah, I'm just going to

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a bunch of the rain one hour
notice too, which you know here you

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got them, spend them. It's
okay. Like you guys probably feel like

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I've taken vacation days, but I
took I've taken like three all year.

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I think I took two extended weekends
and one of them was a Monday Tuesday.

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I did spend some time over the
weekend. This is actually probably a

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fun conversation about well, you don't
know, you want to see weekend crap.

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Yeah, let's do it, all
right, we'll file this under weekend

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crap. Trust me, We'll get
to parade stuff and cowboys egal all throughout

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the day on the show. You
will have all of that to satiate your

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needs because the hot takes are coming
on the Cowboys some crap habits over the

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weekend. Talk about it, now
you feel better. He's Kevin Turner around

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like sroy D anybody else in here
today? Teddy Jackson is here with us

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Good morning six to ten downbeat each
and every morning weekdays. Uh yeah.

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So anyway, we do have vacation
time coming up, and I'm like,

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I need to figure out what to
do with it. And then there's like,

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uh and I just I think is
an interesting topic, not as it

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applies to me, but just anyone. And there's vacation and there's not really

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vacation like the things I did this
year that I took days. I went

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to the Formula one race in Miami, and don't worry your Formula one Brazilian

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Grand Prix report will be coming up
later in the show. I can't wait.

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I have a full forty five seconds
nine o'clock to give everybody. How

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did Fernando Alonso hold off Sergio Perez
for third? Techo? Who do you

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think? One? That's correct?
Lando second, Fernando third? What a

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podium as Max moves in a number
of three? I believe all time victories

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maybe four. Anyway, So I
went to the Miami F one race.

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It was great, but it was
stressful and hot, and we're walking forever

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and ubering, and it was barely
a vacation, you know, vacation vacation,

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right, and I try to prioritize
to make them such. The other

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one was the Buffalo Dolphins trip.
It was great. That was closer to

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vacation. There's a lot of time
in the airbnb, we're just drinking whiskey

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and laughing, and that felt a
lot closer to it. But still big

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crowd, big stress, you know, mental stress going to that game.

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Not mental, I don't know,
just not chilling, you know. It

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was a big adventure and then travel
and now we got to go the next

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day, pack your stuff, we're
out of here. I think the true

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you know, vacation is actual mental
relaxation, everything calm right. Yeah,

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So I was trying to figure out
something to do to take a week somewhere,

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and it's sort of fun to just
open up the computer and try to

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dream up something amazing, right,
sure, and I tend to want to

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go beach, you know, this
time of year Caribbean. Yeah, so

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I spent a few hours just kind
of farting around looking up places and then

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airbnbs and then like Marriott, I
got some marry out points, you know,

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so what to do with those,
and just it's sort of fun,

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although laborious to dream up a vacation
from scratch, is what I mean.

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The problem is when you leave,
you affect two shows. Yeah, oh

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we thought about all that. Two
of our three shows, and our bench

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depth is thing. Jesus, I'm
trying to be not you know, like

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I've been telling him in meetings for
months, we're getting trouble for years.

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Well, we need a little bit
of backup anything, and now they don't

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want us to take separate times off, you know, they want us to

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stagger our things. So Josh Ball
dislocated his hip. Man, we're not

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getting him back this year. Yeah, I don't want to just going all

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that. Yeah, but it's insane. It's the craziest test I've ever seen

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in my entire live. Yes,
it's the most insane outside of people climbing

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stuff at the parade. More on
that at six thirty. Most important thing

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in the world, the Rangers parade. Six thirty this morning, we had

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boots on the ground. Yeah,
not dangling from a light post. They

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were on the ground. And I
couldn't see anything more on that at six

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thirty. Then I was trying to
dream up with spots of good and I

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just came up with some ideas.
And it's sort of fun to look at

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places, you know, where I'm
settled on. I almost hope Christine is

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not awake right now. She's good, She's got another half an hour before

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she wakes up. Late last night, I think I settled on. I

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want to go to Nicaragua. Whoa, it's kind of out of nowhere.

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I've never been. I've never really
been in Central America. I was in

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a cruise that went through Belize once, you know, like so technically,

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and I've done Mexico. I've been
on pretty far south in Mexico, but

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I was looking at like good values, not gonna think I want to do

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Costa Rica. But then I'm like
Nicaragua. That sounds amazing, and apparently

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it's very inexpensive relative to other places. It looks gate of Mama. Okay,

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it looks beautiful, and there's we
get in these ruts of vacation.

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Like I'm looking at where marriouts are
because I have marryout points. But if

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you stay at a Marriotte, just
by almost by definition, you are not

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truly staying anywhere. You know you're
going to a marriotte at that place.

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And yes it's gonna be gorgeous,
and yes it's gonna be safe, if

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that's a concern of yours. But
you go ahead and knock out Panama City

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and Costa Rica if you're going down
there. No, you don't have to

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knock out everything. This is south
of Honduras. They're definitely gonna have snakes

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there, okay, different types of
snakes. If you get bit, you

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have to catch it. Okay,
I'll remember that, put in my backpack

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and bring it back home with me, bring it to Gary, just so

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they know what kind they're not.
But it's very cheap. Oh, yeah,

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you know, yeah, Like there's
one I looked at. I mean

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they have like hostels and stuff like
I'm not doing that, you know,

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like there's a happy medium. But
there's one I looked at and it was

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for six nights and in Nicaragua.
The total cost was one hundred and fifty

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dollars and I'm like, what is
this? You look at it, it's

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essentially just a bed in like a
metal room. But then I was like,

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that sounds like a good adventure too, you know yeah, And it's

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right by the beach and there's a
surf camp right there and local restaurants,

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and I'm like, man, I
want to do a real adventure versus stay

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at the damn Marriotte, which I'm
probably gonna pee out end up doing,

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which costs you way more. And
it's just a very inauthentic way to do

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adventurous places like that. I mean, look, there are worst place is

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to stay than a Marriotte. Oh
no, so go have a time.

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No talked, So you haven't talked
to her about that? We talked to

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her. We're looking at Grand Cayman
and Jamaye. I don't know these I

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mean, what might sound exotic to
some but there. Look, if you

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like the beach and you live in
Dallas, the Caribbean is your little friend

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that's right down there waiting, And
it's like leaving this planet and landing on

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a different one. And the middle
ground is certainly you know, Cancun and

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Coza mel and even Tuloom, like
doing Mexico and it's beautiful and I love

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it. But getting down there a
little further is can be far more exotic

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and a little bit cheaper, way
cheaper. In the case of Nicaragua,

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that's the type of place where if
you order a fish, it'll actually come

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out as a fish. Shit.
The whole fish get a head, eyeballs

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and everything. I don't want that. I don't like that. Not only

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either. Vita is a big hole
fish. Yeah, she's all excited,

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there's bones. I don't know how
to traverse a whole fish. Just people

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of the sea, your whole life. Not me, I am, but

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not as far as the whole fish
goes. So anyway, wasted some time

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dreaming up I'll probably end up doing
nothing. Learn in New York and a

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little little three two two weeks.
Yeah, where are you going for,

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Dave? Well, now I'm going
we were gonna go to New York at

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the way, I was gonna see
if I could conjure my way into I

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always wanted to see Saturday not live
live in the audits. But they you

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know, but people don't know.
It's one hundred two hundred people allowed in.

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It's a lottery, you know.
But they also have the dress rehearsal

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thing which they do at like nine, and they kind of see how some

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of these sketches are gonna go if
they want to that crowd, so they

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have an audience for that too,
And I'm like, either way, it

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doesn't matter if it's the preseason game
or the real real game. I love

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to go do that. If not
actually go see the studio, let's take

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a tour of it. And then
Steve's sister works for John Oliver and he's

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like, we'll probably get you in
John Oliver if you had to go for

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a taping of that, which that
had been offered to me. And it

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fell off the table. So I
can't do it, and I can't make

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it work. I want to go
to New York for again. I went

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to New York twenty thirteen. It's
been ten years. Kind of I want

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to go back, and I want
to go when it's a little bit cold

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really like I do kind of want
to do the November. I'm not like,

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hopefully it's not blizzardy, you know, but I want to go when

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it's forties or fifties. Yeah,
and just blew it all, live it

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up, do it all and want
to see Dave twice at Madison Square Garden.

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She's thirty twice, thirtieth show.
I've ever thirtieth? All right,

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yeah night one n night too.
You don't just go to one night.

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Has Rock's been in New York?
Yeah, okay, not with me.

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Oh, she hasn't done the way
yet the way I do. She hasn't

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seen the Pizza Rats. Yeah,
I'm capable of finding it is wild and

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there's as you well know, there's
anything you can think of like stuff that's

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and that's again almost mean it.
It's like we're in a trip Advisor world.

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That's sort of what I meant by
the Marriott thing and ever, like

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things are rating on a website,
right, and you're kind of if you're

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if you don't know an area,
you're limited to what you read about online

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about it. Yeah, and I
look at trip Advisor, you know,

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but it limits you so much.
When talking about to pust like New York,

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it's infinite. The crap you can
do, like some tiny little community

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theater on a corner might be like
the most fun thing you've ever done,

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the hardest you laugh in your life. There's one God I looked it up.

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We didn't do it, but it
was like an interactive not a sex

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show, but it was something about
your encouraged to make out with a stranger.

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By the end of it. I
don't even know whatever the hell that

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means. You know, I don't
know what that means. It's like a

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couple ty. This is not something
that would go well for me. But

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there's even parts on there like it
doesn't matter what you look like or anything.

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Trust me, it's just this whatever
a hole. No, it's not

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a glory hole. Although there certainly
is a website that ranks I know that

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ranks word I find those I imagine. Obviously we didn't. I didn't do

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it, but I was just on
a deep search of things that you could

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do. Dream up. Man,
there's so much comedy seller. Yeah,

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you know, I go to end
up going to an iconic place and who

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no matter who's playing that night.
Anyone could be there, and odds are

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Dave Chappelle's not gonna walk in,
but but he could could I have There's

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something about in that city. It
holds a special place for me, just

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because it is the time as a
small town country guy, you know,

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growing up in a town of three
thousand people. It was my introduction to

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the world the day I got out
of that taxi. I mean, it's

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the minute I will well just remember
forever and going, holy crap, things

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are fast. Why when was that
was thirteen? I was twenty ten time

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I had twenty ten. I think
I actually went with my parents and my

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little brother and he was still in
high school at the time. Why'd you

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go? So I had family up
in Baltimore or just outside of Baltimore.

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My uncle lived there, and we
were gonna go see him, and then,

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uh, you know, if you
remember, the Rangers were good.

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My Dad's like, screw it,
let's go to Finway, Let's go to

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Yankee Stadium. Let's just do a
whole kind of triangle thing. So we

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did New York for a lot of
the time, hit Boston for a day

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or two, and a couple days
in Baltimore like a week long. Thing

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is great, well, a little
moving around, but it was cool.

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But it was first time going to
New York and just man, my god,

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yeah, just blown away at how
fast the world moved. And you

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needed that wake up call. I
needed that at twenty two years old.

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I need to get smacked in the
face with the reality of what life is,

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you know, I mean that's an
extreme Yeah. No, I remember

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my dad telling me, who had
been before? My dad tell me,

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it's gonna be nuts here in a
minute, like you're gonna get ready to

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get your bag, like stay close, like when you get out, things

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are gonna be moving fast. I'm
believing he got out of the cards.

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I mean, just hit you.
You know, I've never not loved it

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when I've gone. And I know
for a lot of people they know immediately

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the sain't for me. And I
don't know if it's anxiety or stress or

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whatever, like you'll be around people
and then you do the whole Could I

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live here A thing? I couldn't. I don't think I could. Well

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why I think, I mean,
just that pace, it's got to wear

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on you. And the weather.
I don't live anywhere where it gets that

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cold for that long. And the
expense. Oh my god. A friend

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who lived in Alphabet City and he
paid so much. He was telling us

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how much he paid. Then he
got to his place and it was the

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size of this studio that we're in. He should have moved to Sesame Street

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Way cheaper down there than at Alphabet
City. And I guess he's always had

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problems with wherever you live, even
if whatever you pay. Oh yeah,

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because I think fine and go home
and just vege no matter what city in

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the world I live in, right, maybe not there, maybe not there.

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As you're always hearing stuff and you
get to go upstate, people should

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mon in the building you're in.
Yeah, that's uh no, take your

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vacation days. They give them to
us for a reason, and they don't

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roll over. I wish you'd ask
me, because I'm geography man, but

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I just looked it up. New
York is the eleventh most populated city in

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the world. You want to take
a crack at any of them. I

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think San Jose, Nicaragua's got to
be down there. No, Nicaragua didn't

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make the list. La. No, New York's get more than LA.

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New York's number one in America.
Okay, Well, then London. You

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know, I knew you yorren't gonna
be good at this game. Rome,

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non't forget it? Sydney, can
you get one? Yes? I can,

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I actually can. Tokyo. Tokyo's
number one, thirty seven and a

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half million people. Then it becomes
a bit of a problem. I truly

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don't know. New York is eighteen? Is just nineteen? Where else that's

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almost double? What's number two?
Uh? There's two in India the most

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populated what country? Oh, Delhi
and Mumbai? Yep. I was gonna

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get through those. Okay? What
else in China? Okay? I gave

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00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:15.359
you, Uh, you gave me
nothing. Okay, okay, let's stay

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with me here Chinatown okay? Oh
No, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Beijing,

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Beijing, duh. Anyone who's had
an Olympics is probably up there.

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Fourth biggest city hosted the Formula one
race just this weekend? Oh yeah,

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Brazil? Yeah? Where? Oh
Rios? I really's been to Brazil a

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00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:45.799
few times. Good six hour flight. Who else your brother brother for work?

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00:20:45.240 --> 00:20:48.599
Yeah? Mexico city number five?
Oh of course, Yes, that's

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00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:55.440
a big one city, big one
for Cairo, Egypt. They have Mumbai

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Beijing. This is one. Okay, Dhaka, Banglades, who would I

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00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:07.279
bet most people listening have ever never
heard of Dhaka, and it's one of

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the ten cities in the United States, bigger than New York. Then Osaka,

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Japan. Then you have New York
sitting at eleven and that's where you're

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going. See the La would be
the next one the list twenty third.

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Well, Kevin, you stay very
very safe when you go to New York

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in a couple of weeks. I'm
gonna have stretch your hot ass around Central

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00:21:27.559 --> 00:21:33.119
Park, which maybe touristy like you
can avoid Times Square. You walk through

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00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:36.440
once and be like, get me
out of here. I'm saying in Times

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00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:41.000
Square, Okay, that's awful.
Near it. It's not awful, but

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00:21:41.079 --> 00:21:45.720
it's you're just saying as close as
you can to the thirty Rock. Huh.

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00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:52.279
Yes, I think I can try
out for lorn Think so what if

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they have a little sign taped up
open tryout today only? Would you go

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00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:59.720
in there? Yes, you would. Here all the characters and you have

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00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:03.559
one yeah, one minute, one
character. I've got my suitcase of props.

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00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:15.960
Alona you here, that's a perfect
italent. We've never had anything like

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00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:19.200
this, we should add this to
the cash. I think it would make

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00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:22.640
sense if you let the character breathe
a little bit, but we can work

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00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:29.599
on that. I don't know.
I would hate that life too. Probably

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00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:34.400
that stress. Everyone who works that
show is like, it will kill you.

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00:22:34.759 --> 00:22:40.720
Besides Keenan, Oh twenty hours,
I was like, yeah, I

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00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:45.200
don't really mind insane. Yeah,
it's enough of that. I'll tell you

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00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.400
more about the man hunt outside of
my house but a little bit later doing

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00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:52.200
the show, there was a bit
of a man hunt last night. You

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00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:56.960
text me about that. Choppers and
drones outside of my house and Richardson,

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00:22:56.160 --> 00:23:00.319
Hell yeah, looking for a loose
person. Wait, a person on the

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00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:06.039
loose. Better, let's do the
most important thing in the world, Mike.

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00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:10.240
I was at the parade Friday.
Obviously, big stories. I've got

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00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:12.559
some stories from the parade at seven
thirty as well that are more like news

319
00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:17.200
stories. But I'm going to tell
you a little bit about my experience at

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00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:19.160
the parade on Friday. And if
you called it, or if you went

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00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:22.440
to the parade and want to call
in this early the morning two and four

322
00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:26.640
or eight one seven seven, eight
seven one ninety seven one, well pop

323
00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:29.480
you on I'll let you sure your
two cents on what it was like for

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00:23:29.559 --> 00:23:32.319
you at the parade on Friday.
Next to ninety seven won the free