Good Monday morning world. But now me's here or without Danny, I don't
know what he's doing. I'm not gonna make up something and saying he's getting
some type of botox or I had to go to the d m V.
I had to take a day off to knock out Christmas shopping or hang up
his lights. I don't know. I don't know where Danny's at. I
think he's taking days. I'm in the taking day's mode of the year now
I think we are. I'll take some days. Hell yeah, I am
two man. I'm gonna take it. Some days. They give us the
days we should take them. You to not take the days. You're a
mission essential. Nah, you'd be amazed if I turned in my pink slip.
But is that what you do when you quit pink slip? I think
you receive what pink sp Oh, you receive one that means that they're Oh,
I think so right? If I turn in my ass cheeks and say,
because that's how I'll quit by mooning the office is this place will probably
fly to greater heights the minute I woke up. No, don't say that
it will. It is a notice of dismissal given to an employee a pink
slip. I won't get one of those, You sure if I do,
they'll not. If I do, there'll be a bumpshell article written in the
New York Times. Every time I go by my desk, I'm expecting a
red piece of paper, yeah, and a piece of tape, like in
Major League when they go on to the clubhouse and they're trying not to get
cut. Every time, I'll get cut for performance based reasons. Probably i'll
get cut because of budget constraints. Let's be honest. That's what I will
cut for. But it'll happen, and then this place will get better ratings
the minute I'm gone. It'll be amazing. I don't think so how it
works, because I understand that sentiment about how, in general, anything is
better when you're not there, and I do hear that, but I've got
to know you now, and I don't. I don't agree with it.
Yeah, I think life's better than KT's around, and life's better when Danny's
around. Two. I'm not gonna lie he's not here today, Yeah,
Danny, Oh, it's gone. Talio is not here, that's all.
He's not doing anything. He's home listening, right, now because it idiots
away. He's not up, man, I don't know what has scene is.
I would say, let's call him, but no, it's something we
used to do to you. Yeah, on the Old Morning Show her answer
one time and what you did? We finally quit calling you. We were
like, if you'll just answer one time, it'll stop. I think it
was nine o'clock in the segment. I answered, oh what, but I
don't know. That's uh, Danny, do you get what we get fifteen
days? I really don't know what either get fifteen I'm not sure I should
go through really everything in the contract. Oh my god, by contracts wild
and completely invalid. It's kind of amazing. He's older, right, yeah,
and it was never right in the first place, Like as far as
what job you had and what you're doing, yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
Many a lawyers would be like, yeah, that's not gonna that.
That wouldn't hold up. Probably should have fine toothcomb that thing a little more
than when I gave a big thumbs up and grabbed a pen. I mean
I tried to Well, Danny's gone. Danny's gone. I think that's the
first like this is the first day he's taken obviously the first contract I've ever
signed, I think, Oh really, I think, yeah, congratulations.
Ryan was in twenty twenty two, and it was a big difference than not
having one. Yeah, but like or not, I'm also I'm good not
having one because they're rules and you know, where's the cutoff? Like,
the most people listening not have a contract. I don't think a lot of
people do, man. I think most people don't, right, I think
most people don't. Yeah, if you don't have a contract, then you
probably don't have a noncompete clause. Oh yeah, no doubt for all the
worlds of business out there, big thing in the world of sales non competes.
Yeah. I think he took one day this year so far. Well,
they were talking about Ryaner not taking a lot of days and yin are
basically just burned his during the playoff run. Yeah, I'm just going to
a bunch of the rain one hour notice too, which you know here you
got them, spend them. It's okay. Like you guys probably feel like
I've taken vacation days, but I took I've taken like three all year.
I think I took two extended weekends and one of them was a Monday Tuesday.
I did spend some time over the weekend. This is actually probably a
fun conversation about well, you don't know, you want to see weekend crap.
Yeah, let's do it, all right, we'll file this under weekend
crap. Trust me, We'll get to parade stuff and cowboys egal all throughout
the day on the show. You will have all of that to satiate your
needs because the hot takes are coming on the Cowboys some crap habits over the
weekend. Talk about it, now you feel better. He's Kevin Turner around
like sroy D anybody else in here today? Teddy Jackson is here with us
Good morning six to ten downbeat each and every morning weekdays. Uh yeah.
So anyway, we do have vacation time coming up, and I'm like,
I need to figure out what to do with it. And then there's like,
uh and I just I think is an interesting topic, not as it
applies to me, but just anyone. And there's vacation and there's not really
vacation like the things I did this year that I took days. I went
to the Formula one race in Miami, and don't worry your Formula one Brazilian
Grand Prix report will be coming up later in the show. I can't wait.
I have a full forty five seconds nine o'clock to give everybody. How
did Fernando Alonso hold off Sergio Perez for third? Techo? Who do you
think? One? That's correct? Lando second, Fernando third? What a
podium as Max moves in a number of three? I believe all time victories
maybe four. Anyway, So I went to the Miami F one race.
It was great, but it was stressful and hot, and we're walking forever
and ubering, and it was barely a vacation, you know, vacation vacation,
right, and I try to prioritize to make them such. The other
one was the Buffalo Dolphins trip. It was great. That was closer to
vacation. There's a lot of time in the airbnb, we're just drinking whiskey
and laughing, and that felt a lot closer to it. But still big
crowd, big stress, you know, mental stress going to that game.
Not mental, I don't know, just not chilling, you know. It
was a big adventure and then travel and now we got to go the next
day, pack your stuff, we're out of here. I think the true
you know, vacation is actual mental relaxation, everything calm right. Yeah,
So I was trying to figure out something to do to take a week somewhere,
and it's sort of fun to just open up the computer and try to
dream up something amazing, right, sure, and I tend to want to
go beach, you know, this time of year Caribbean. Yeah, so
I spent a few hours just kind of farting around looking up places and then
airbnbs and then like Marriott, I got some marry out points, you know,
so what to do with those, and just it's sort of fun,
although laborious to dream up a vacation from scratch, is what I mean.
The problem is when you leave, you affect two shows. Yeah, oh
we thought about all that. Two of our three shows, and our bench
depth is thing. Jesus, I'm trying to be not you know, like
I've been telling him in meetings for months, we're getting trouble for years.
Well, we need a little bit of backup anything, and now they don't
want us to take separate times off, you know, they want us to
stagger our things. So Josh Ball dislocated his hip. Man, we're not
getting him back this year. Yeah, I don't want to just going all
that. Yeah, but it's insane. It's the craziest test I've ever seen
in my entire live. Yes, it's the most insane outside of people climbing
stuff at the parade. More on that at six thirty. Most important thing
in the world, the Rangers parade. Six thirty this morning, we had
boots on the ground. Yeah, not dangling from a light post. They
were on the ground. And I couldn't see anything more on that at six
thirty. Then I was trying to dream up with spots of good and I
just came up with some ideas. And it's sort of fun to look at
places, you know, where I'm settled on. I almost hope Christine is
not awake right now. She's good, She's got another half an hour before
she wakes up. Late last night, I think I settled on. I
want to go to Nicaragua. Whoa, it's kind of out of nowhere.
I've never been. I've never really been in Central America. I was in
a cruise that went through Belize once, you know, like so technically,
and I've done Mexico. I've been on pretty far south in Mexico, but
I was looking at like good values, not gonna think I want to do
Costa Rica. But then I'm like Nicaragua. That sounds amazing, and apparently
it's very inexpensive relative to other places. It looks gate of Mama. Okay,
it looks beautiful, and there's we get in these ruts of vacation.
Like I'm looking at where marriouts are because I have marryout points. But if
you stay at a Marriotte, just by almost by definition, you are not
truly staying anywhere. You know you're going to a marriotte at that place.
And yes it's gonna be gorgeous, and yes it's gonna be safe, if
that's a concern of yours. But you go ahead and knock out Panama City
and Costa Rica if you're going down there. No, you don't have to
knock out everything. This is south of Honduras. They're definitely gonna have snakes
there, okay, different types of snakes. If you get bit, you
have to catch it. Okay, I'll remember that, put in my backpack
and bring it back home with me, bring it to Gary, just so
they know what kind they're not. But it's very cheap. Oh, yeah,
you know, yeah, Like there's one I looked at. I mean
they have like hostels and stuff like I'm not doing that, you know,
like there's a happy medium. But there's one I looked at and it was
for six nights and in Nicaragua. The total cost was one hundred and fifty
dollars and I'm like, what is this? You look at it, it's
essentially just a bed in like a metal room. But then I was like,
that sounds like a good adventure too, you know yeah, And it's
right by the beach and there's a surf camp right there and local restaurants,
and I'm like, man, I want to do a real adventure versus stay
at the damn Marriotte, which I'm probably gonna pee out end up doing,
which costs you way more. And it's just a very inauthentic way to do
adventurous places like that. I mean, look, there are worst place is
to stay than a Marriotte. Oh no, so go have a time.
No talked, So you haven't talked to her about that? We talked to
her. We're looking at Grand Cayman and Jamaye. I don't know these I
mean, what might sound exotic to some but there. Look, if you
like the beach and you live in Dallas, the Caribbean is your little friend
that's right down there waiting, And it's like leaving this planet and landing on
a different one. And the middle ground is certainly you know, Cancun and
Coza mel and even Tuloom, like doing Mexico and it's beautiful and I love
it. But getting down there a little further is can be far more exotic
and a little bit cheaper, way cheaper. In the case of Nicaragua,
that's the type of place where if you order a fish, it'll actually come
out as a fish. Shit. The whole fish get a head, eyeballs
and everything. I don't want that. I don't like that. Not only
either. Vita is a big hole fish. Yeah, she's all excited,
there's bones. I don't know how to traverse a whole fish. Just people
of the sea, your whole life. Not me, I am, but
not as far as the whole fish goes. So anyway, wasted some time
dreaming up I'll probably end up doing nothing. Learn in New York and a
little little three two two weeks. Yeah, where are you going for,
Dave? Well, now I'm going we were gonna go to New York at
the way, I was gonna see if I could conjure my way into I
always wanted to see Saturday not live live in the audits. But they you
know, but people don't know. It's one hundred two hundred people allowed in.
It's a lottery, you know. But they also have the dress rehearsal
thing which they do at like nine, and they kind of see how some
of these sketches are gonna go if they want to that crowd, so they
have an audience for that too, And I'm like, either way, it
doesn't matter if it's the preseason game or the real real game. I love
to go do that. If not actually go see the studio, let's take
a tour of it. And then Steve's sister works for John Oliver and he's
like, we'll probably get you in John Oliver if you had to go for
a taping of that, which that had been offered to me. And it
fell off the table. So I can't do it, and I can't make
it work. I want to go to New York for again. I went
to New York twenty thirteen. It's been ten years. Kind of I want
to go back, and I want to go when it's a little bit cold
really like I do kind of want to do the November. I'm not like,
hopefully it's not blizzardy, you know, but I want to go when
it's forties or fifties. Yeah, and just blew it all, live it
up, do it all and want to see Dave twice at Madison Square Garden.
She's thirty twice, thirtieth show. I've ever thirtieth? All right,
yeah night one n night too. You don't just go to one night.
Has Rock's been in New York? Yeah, okay, not with me.
Oh, she hasn't done the way yet the way I do. She hasn't
seen the Pizza Rats. Yeah, I'm capable of finding it is wild and
there's as you well know, there's anything you can think of like stuff that's
and that's again almost mean it. It's like we're in a trip Advisor world.
That's sort of what I meant by the Marriott thing and ever, like
things are rating on a website, right, and you're kind of if you're
if you don't know an area, you're limited to what you read about online
about it. Yeah, and I look at trip Advisor, you know,
but it limits you so much. When talking about to pust like New York,
it's infinite. The crap you can do, like some tiny little community
theater on a corner might be like the most fun thing you've ever done,
the hardest you laugh in your life. There's one God I looked it up.
We didn't do it, but it was like an interactive not a sex
show, but it was something about your encouraged to make out with a stranger.
By the end of it. I don't even know whatever the hell that
means. You know, I don't know what that means. It's like a
couple ty. This is not something that would go well for me. But
there's even parts on there like it doesn't matter what you look like or anything.
Trust me, it's just this whatever a hole. No, it's not
a glory hole. Although there certainly is a website that ranks I know that
ranks word I find those I imagine. Obviously we didn't. I didn't do
it, but I was just on a deep search of things that you could
do. Dream up. Man, there's so much comedy seller. Yeah,
you know, I go to end up going to an iconic place and who
no matter who's playing that night. Anyone could be there, and odds are
Dave Chappelle's not gonna walk in, but but he could could I have There's
something about in that city. It holds a special place for me, just
because it is the time as a small town country guy, you know,
growing up in a town of three thousand people. It was my introduction to
the world the day I got out of that taxi. I mean, it's
the minute I will well just remember forever and going, holy crap, things
are fast. Why when was that was thirteen? I was twenty ten time
I had twenty ten. I think I actually went with my parents and my
little brother and he was still in high school at the time. Why'd you
go? So I had family up in Baltimore or just outside of Baltimore.
My uncle lived there, and we were gonna go see him, and then,
uh, you know, if you remember, the Rangers were good.
My Dad's like, screw it, let's go to Finway, Let's go to
Yankee Stadium. Let's just do a whole kind of triangle thing. So we
did New York for a lot of the time, hit Boston for a day
or two, and a couple days in Baltimore like a week long. Thing
is great, well, a little moving around, but it was cool.
But it was first time going to New York and just man, my god,
yeah, just blown away at how fast the world moved. And you
needed that wake up call. I needed that at twenty two years old.
I need to get smacked in the face with the reality of what life is,
you know, I mean that's an extreme Yeah. No, I remember
my dad telling me, who had been before? My dad tell me,
it's gonna be nuts here in a minute, like you're gonna get ready to
get your bag, like stay close, like when you get out, things
are gonna be moving fast. I'm believing he got out of the cards.
I mean, just hit you. You know, I've never not loved it
when I've gone. And I know for a lot of people they know immediately
the sain't for me. And I don't know if it's anxiety or stress or
whatever, like you'll be around people and then you do the whole Could I
live here A thing? I couldn't. I don't think I could. Well
why I think, I mean, just that pace, it's got to wear
on you. And the weather. I don't live anywhere where it gets that
cold for that long. And the expense. Oh my god. A friend
who lived in Alphabet City and he paid so much. He was telling us
how much he paid. Then he got to his place and it was the
size of this studio that we're in. He should have moved to Sesame Street
Way cheaper down there than at Alphabet City. And I guess he's always had
problems with wherever you live, even if whatever you pay. Oh yeah,
because I think fine and go home and just vege no matter what city in
the world I live in, right, maybe not there, maybe not there.
As you're always hearing stuff and you get to go upstate, people should
mon in the building you're in. Yeah, that's uh no, take your
vacation days. They give them to us for a reason, and they don't
roll over. I wish you'd ask me, because I'm geography man, but
I just looked it up. New York is the eleventh most populated city in
the world. You want to take a crack at any of them. I
think San Jose, Nicaragua's got to be down there. No, Nicaragua didn't
make the list. La. No, New York's get more than LA.
New York's number one in America. Okay, Well, then London. You
know, I knew you yorren't gonna be good at this game. Rome,
non't forget it? Sydney, can you get one? Yes? I can,
I actually can. Tokyo. Tokyo's number one, thirty seven and a
half million people. Then it becomes a bit of a problem. I truly
don't know. New York is eighteen? Is just nineteen? Where else that's
almost double? What's number two? Uh? There's two in India the most
populated what country? Oh, Delhi and Mumbai? Yep. I was gonna
get through those. Okay? What else in China? Okay? I gave
you, Uh, you gave me nothing. Okay, okay, let's stay
with me here Chinatown okay? Oh No, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Beijing,
Beijing, duh. Anyone who's had an Olympics is probably up there.
Fourth biggest city hosted the Formula one race just this weekend? Oh yeah,
Brazil? Yeah? Where? Oh Rios? I really's been to Brazil a
few times. Good six hour flight. Who else your brother brother for work?
Yeah? Mexico city number five? Oh of course, Yes, that's
a big one city, big one for Cairo, Egypt. They have Mumbai
Beijing. This is one. Okay, Dhaka, Banglades, who would I
bet most people listening have ever never heard of Dhaka, and it's one of
the ten cities in the United States, bigger than New York. Then Osaka,
Japan. Then you have New York sitting at eleven and that's where you're
going. See the La would be the next one the list twenty third.
Well, Kevin, you stay very very safe when you go to New York
in a couple of weeks. I'm gonna have stretch your hot ass around Central
Park, which maybe touristy like you can avoid Times Square. You walk through
once and be like, get me out of here. I'm saying in Times
Square, Okay, that's awful. Near it. It's not awful, but
it's you're just saying as close as you can to the thirty Rock. Huh.
Yes, I think I can try out for lorn Think so what if
they have a little sign taped up open tryout today only? Would you go
in there? Yes, you would. Here all the characters and you have
one yeah, one minute, one character. I've got my suitcase of props.
Alona you here, that's a perfect italent. We've never had anything like
this, we should add this to the cash. I think it would make
sense if you let the character breathe a little bit, but we can work
on that. I don't know. I would hate that life too. Probably
that stress. Everyone who works that show is like, it will kill you.
Besides Keenan, Oh twenty hours, I was like, yeah, I
don't really mind insane. Yeah, it's enough of that. I'll tell you
more about the man hunt outside of my house but a little bit later doing
the show, there was a bit of a man hunt last night. You
text me about that. Choppers and drones outside of my house and Richardson,
Hell yeah, looking for a loose person. Wait, a person on the
loose. Better, let's do the most important thing in the world, Mike.
I was at the parade Friday. Obviously, big stories. I've got
some stories from the parade at seven thirty as well that are more like news
stories. But I'm going to tell you a little bit about my experience at
the parade on Friday. And if you called it, or if you went
to the parade and want to call in this early the morning two and four
or eight one seven seven, eight seven one ninety seven one, well pop
you on I'll let you sure your two cents on what it was like for
you at the parade on Friday. Next to ninety seven won the free