Beans. So why are you me? I hear me me wanting beans?
For some reason, our song is not playing. Do yeah doo doo doom
doom doo doo doom doom doom doom doom. B surpriy mother fry can take
up. That's your improvod. It's Friday, April fifth. Hell? Yeah?
Oh uh? Eclipse day? Eclipse Hell is it? No? No?
I thought it was today. I cleared the decks. No yet,
my glasses are on. Don't you have to have your glasses on the whole
time? Buddy? Are you wearing your eclipse glasses right now? You don't
have to look at me and see how gorgeous I am with your eclipse glasses.
Way better, amazing, way better. I don't even have eclipse glass.
I'm just trusting. I gonna hand me eclipse glasses on Monday. Do
you have an extra set? I do extra sets? Uh? Yeah,
I think I have like five extra sets. I want one. They came
in a pack of six. Could I have all five? Well? That
doesn't feel like that's gonna be good. We're looking for the safety of everyone.
If I run into people who don't have them, that I can hand
them to them. Well, you protect strangers over your friends. I mean,
you're in radio. What's that mean? Anything? That means nothing?
You burn your eyes out. We're fine. All you need is your talent
hole down here. But how did I watch the game last night? It
is a little monster. What happened? Yeah, my little throatole, my
little gagger, sweet little throat hole. As long as you got that,
you can get pretty much whatever you need done, according to these only fan
stars who are just racking it in. Do you ever think about that?
What? Whatft? Hanging dong on only fans? Dude? I don't want
to do that, but if it resorted to that, I absolutely think it
would be in play because I think it's automatic one million dollars. No,
not for us, It's not how that works. Oh, there's a reason
that traditionally the male porn stars make about I think what five to ten percent?
Yeah, okay, but give us boobies. Does that change it?
No, nobody will see Nobody wants to see our man breasts. It's like
the vagina is like the hottest thing ever, it's got problems of its own.
So yeah, I agree to disagree Danny's Yeah, okay, Well I'm
just saying. But then again, you know, if you've never been to
the Empire State Building and you get the Leaning Tower of Dallas, I bet
that looks pretty kick ass. Yeap, yeah, man, look at that
building. That thing is huge leaning over. I mean I bet you could
get probably two hundred and fifteenth to five hundred bucks a month. Yeah whom
he or all of us normal normal, innocent man dudes. I mean you
have a little you know, just you're not completely unknown in this town.
Oh yeah, that was a border line. Yeah, well, you think
we could like individually make five hundred dollars a month doing what like a week
beef shots baby meat shots. But isn't the strategy that you start small and
lure them in? Yeah, I think, and then tease them. And
that's why you see it is true. All you kind of have is a
big finish line. Yeah. Oh, speaking of that the others, Yeah,
that the finish line is another option. What's that? Is that?
A thing like videos of Oh? Yeah, I thought you were talking about
the shoe store in towny small here it is at finish line. I'm here
again, guys. Here's my thing. Tip me the bell fans. These
are new sambas. In red, you're dis kinted Easter Day rate. You
know, there's all those types of deals that you have to make that that
kind of sucks people in. But also I think you dress it up.
For instance, I would have a lot of golf videos, you know,
only so what you're saying is like a slow zoom down and you're looking,
oh, look at his grip, but hanging behind the grip out of focus.
Okay, because we're focused on the grip, you see the penis,
oh the junk. But people are like, I just got a really good
golf tip. I'm now way better tee to green than I ever was.
Am I wrong? Guys? Yeah? Yes, I think the key with
only fans is you actually can't like for four dollars a month, right,
I mean you could have the Danny Balist only fans and it is just what's
going on in your life and behind the scenes stuff and two ninety nine a
month, right, something something very little. I mean that's what when they
switched. They wanted to switch it off of being a porn site. Yeah,
that was their idea, And there is probably some that do that where
it's like I'm a fan of Leo DiCaprio. Let's say, and I kind
of want to see what he's doing in his house and hey, that's his
girlfriend. Oh my god, he's at this club. Cool, Like you
get insight into the life of someone that you actually are interested in. There
is either a market for that or people on only fans who use it as
that. No meat necessarily it was an adult exclusive content. Good lord,
No, it's not excluded. I mean I think they started it as with
what I just said is the idea for it, and then within one hour
it was t's and v's and d's and big, big beautiful bees, big
bouncing, beautiful bubble bees. And then the only fans people are like,
oh, oh, so that it spiral out of control. And then remember
was it three years ago or something. Yeah, they're like, we're gonna
class it up, we're gonna turn it into this. And that lasted about
a week. Oh not even and they're like, bad idea, jeans.
But so if you would do that, you know, you do some behind
the scenes studio stuff or radio stuffy or just Malcolm, I don't know.
You know, you're not asking for the world. If you for a couple
of bucks a month and someone who cares about you was like, yeah,
I want to stay up on this. You've got to be pretty. You've
got to maintain it, though, you know, you'd have to give them
no pretty regular content, probably daily, because everybody wants content. It's an
I didn't even know what that word. By the way, I don't think
that word was even important content in my hemisphere until about I don't know,
year and a half ago. Like every other word around here is content.
Well, look there's a place that with another word. Well, I mean
also creator creator? Are you a content? Are you an influencer and influencer?
We're not seen as radio host, we're seen as influencers when to the
company. Yeah, but when it comes to advertising, yeah, yes,
I don't put the hell they don't when they want to pitch a new client,
you're not a spokesperson for that client. You're you're an influencer. We
have an influencer. You never heard that word? Are you serious? I
promise you that's the vernacular in every pitch. I also do not open my
company email. Yes, yes, because I do not remember my email.
It's really hard. But influencer was like a joke word a couple of years
ago, like oh my god, kill me. And now it's like a
profession depending on what age. Little profession, You're right, but like a
joke word not the gen z. Oh yeah, that is their hopes and
dreams. When Java John was, you know, doing regular spots and I
was doing reads for for them, I would get emails from Jasmine and because
once a month they'd want me at home, going, hey, I got
the new Java John's roast, and I mean, dude, Java John's is
awesome. And yes, I'm not just a spokesperson. I'm also a client.
Love the coffee. But you know, it's talking about whatever. I
need a sixty second influencer video for our web based content. I'm like,
oh my god, I just really want to come in here and talk about,
you know, the MAVs and the most important thing in the world.
I don't know what this content and influencing means, but well you can sure
get left in the dust if you don't brush up, brush up. I
feel bad for Reiner, you know, yeah, yeah, so much has
changed that guy's life. We've been at meetings when he's forced to go to
the TikTok instruction video uh huh, or a instruction seminar, and I'm confused,
right, and I'm like barely keep my little nose above the surface of
the water, breathing, trying to stay alive, and watching him is like
looking at a cat staring at a cucumber, which is kind of why I
think I don't feel bad for him in that case. I remember that we
had had a big meeting where they were telling us a lot of things.
This was back when they were really emphasizing on us saying our names, which
we don't do enough. I actually agreed with that meeting, or with some
of the things that mean we should say our names more often. There are
new people listening every day. Every time someone says a bad joke, I
reseid all of our names. Okay, don't turner. Danny bay Less is
here on Mike's roy But I remember Mike and Bo Roberts from The Bow and
Jim Show on Lone Star were sitting in the back, and boy, they
were hypnotized. I don't think they'd ever had to be in a meeting like
that before. And we all thought it was about us. They had every
station in there but us, because word neurotic as hell. We struggled about
us I think no, they were telling all of us to do better.
That's all it was. It's all that meeting was about do better all of
you. But I don't notice that just gonna finck. I kind of don't
feel because Mike just sit in the back. Cannot me sit in the back,
act like I'm better than it d in my hand looking at my phone.
I would have gotten called out and said to give an example, you
know, But Mike does just sit back there and kind of he doesn't look
at his phone, you know, But what's he just I'm not even I
think he's just thinking about the Rangers probably, you know, I wouldn't blame
him. Like, what are you even saying? I don't have TikTok,
I don't have the app, I don't have any of that. I'm not
gonna do not do what you're saying. I don't follow and I'm not the
one you're even trying to get to do it. Do you really think that,
Yeah, like us have a chance. Maybe he's doing radio twenty years
out of our target demographic, right, you know, right, it is
kind of weird. Yeah, dude, it's and I think we'll all get
to that point to where you get to the age where I'm you the advancement
of the world. I think for most people will cut off at a certain
age where you just bury your head in the sand and AI means nothing and
TikTok means nothing, and you just shut it off to where this is how
I'm going to be until I die and I'm not letting anything else in.
I'm done. Do you have any friends with zero social media? Yeah,
our buddy Troy, we had a golf with none. He's never had it.
Okay, that's incredible. Have a Facebook, but you know, I
don't know. He doesn't ever look at it. He doesn't know Twitter anything.
And he listens, you know, to us, and so he's up
enough on everything, but there'll be something that to us is just conversational common
knowledge and he's like, wait, what is this? And it seems so
peaceful. That's how my parents are. My parents are Danny's age. I
mean you know, yeah, I mean that they don't. I mean,
it's different out there, but they don't. Never, never really wanted to
Kevin. You may or may not remember this story. Do you remember Joel
that used to work overnight? Said the ticket Janista Georganesta. Yeah, he
was awesome. Rest in peace, by the way. But on nine to
eleven, he went on a camping trip in Colorado for like a week,
and he got in his car to drive back from the camping trip, and
it was I think it was like the day or two after nine eleven had
happened, and he'd never turned the news on his radio, he never looked
at anything on his phone, if he even had a phone that would give
you news like that, and basically drove, if I remember this rite,
basically drove from Colorado to Dallas and never knew that it had happened until someone
he saw somebody talking about something, or he's like, what are you talking
about right now? He's like, oh, yeah, the twin towers nine
to eleven. He's like what? And how many days was it? It
was like at least at least one or two, maybe even more. But
he he camped through nine to eleven and had no idea that it had happened
until like two or three days after. God's beautiful, It's beautiful. Meanwhile,
there's me watching for the fifty thousandth time a plane flying into a building,
followed by another plane flying into a building, followed by one building smashing
to the ground, followed by another one where those images are just embossed into
your brain. But you were just living your life too when that happened.
Was just social media. Now we learn of so much through a quick look
at our phone without even having the ability to dive in or like even then
that day, you were just hanging out. You were just Danny, you
were getting up. You're probably hungover, there's no question. Tuesday morning you
stayed up for the big Monday night football game. Yeah, I didn't even
wake up Panthers and Bill. I had to wake up to a phone call
from corby Jake Delone versus Jpman Monday night, the calls I had to wake
up, Yeah, tell me about to turn on the TV because their subplane
had flown into the first tower. So I didn't even see or hear about
the first one until it had already happened. See, and then there's Joel
sitting by a babbling broken and true people. My life was forever changed,
and that day was changed, and the next month was changed or whatever.
We were the way we conducted our day to days, we would have texted.
But yeah, he picked up the phone and called you. He did,
which is even that is a form of communication. This far more meaningful
than the text. And I am trying to weed out all phone calls like
I don't like it, but man and I don't know. Oh no,
man, geez, something miraculous happened yesterday. Guys. Oh no, Mike,
don't do it. Did you perform a miracle? I understand how that
would be a logical guess, but no, it was not me this time.
Okay, but I saw it. You saw a miracle kind of But
I know a miracle happened. Was it a golf miracle? I don't like
the way you asked that question. Well I'd ask you to ask it again.
I know that you ding Dongs played golf yesterday? Is everybody you guys
real excited? See you? Of course? Bro? When I'm leaving,
Yeah, bro, course, bro, and many Steven's right, cool,
cuck cool, I'll put it in my map. We high five, and
then what do we do? Then we invited you to come with us a
special ride along experience. It was a very flimsy invite. I don't play.
Just ride along with this. Man. Imagine there's a park you could
go to, okay, just a park on a perfect day and they give
you a tiny little car. It's like an outdoor car, and you can
just cruise up and down hills. See some lakes, look at the trees.
Stop, there's a squirrel. But you're in a little car, so
you can go wherever you want. You can go on this giant park anywhere
you want. That sounds fun right there, doesn't it? It does no
magical park. I've done the ride along on the golf and I gotta say,
after about three holes, you're kind of like over it. Well,
there's a cooler there too, if you like you know what I'm saying,
though I'm not look if you're not playing, you feel I feel like a
third wheel. I feel like an intrusion. Nobody lets me drive the cart.
You guys, I know, I know the cart paths, I know
those cars. I know this direct line to you know my lie is over
there. It's you don't know how to get to Obi there. I am
how to get to Oh Bright. You know if I'm dat, someone has
no idea driving down? No stop, I'm going there. I want to
go home. And then no, you can't go here, And then the
cart's beeping again asking you to reverse out of everything. So by the third
hole you feel kind of like a hostage. Yeah, and you're so far
away from your car at that point you can't just leave. Yeah. Yeah,
the third hole yesterday, you have nearly been a thousand yards away in
my car. I don't know what direction it is, because you got we
have been winding through this party. There's trees. The third hole yesterday,
you would have been dodging the vicious rottweiler that was coming at us. Okay,
okay, she really jumped at me. Okay. Kevin is somewhat famously
scared of dogs and water and maybe all animals. We don't know. And
I completely missed this, but they he comes up to the green and he's
got crazy eye and he's freaking out. He's like, we we just got
attacked by a dog. I'd say, like that, well maybe I did.
Yeah. He four putted and he's like, I can't, I can't
breathe. I don't know what, you know, I don't know what's happening.
And I didn't see any of this, but apparently this crazy dog,
Troy verified the story, ran across the street, was like showing its teeth.
Kevin. He was came running from behind the brush, and for a
second it looked like it was try to rape me. Okay, and Kevin
flashed his teeth. That doesn't mean rape. Jumped at us and Troy quick
quick turn of the cart. What and he looked at me and he goes,
excuse it. And then that dog was kind of tricked. He was
tricked by the change of direction, and it was holy crap, man,
that dog jumped at us. How close did the dog get I would say
within two feet three feet, about fifty to add about fifty to this four
five feet. That's so I know you're up. He's not at the at
least. And it probably wasn't even a dog. Probably a dog was a
small cat and it was a big dog. It didn't show its teeth when
you see a dog. Wasn't a Rottweiler. I think it was a Roler
pit bull mix. Okay, I asked Troy later. I'm like, did
was a dog really scary? Like I kind of came out us. I'm
like, yeah, Kevin's scared of dogs. And Troy goes, yeah,
he said he got raped by a Great Dane when he was six in German
shepherd. But yes, that's what he claims it didn't. It happened.
It's terrifying. So you experience jumped into a neighbor's fence, chainley fence,
jumped into it into a yard full of dogs. Bad for him too.
That's out of the frying pan of the fire. Huh. Never lived it
down. So you narrowly escaped a ducks and attack and then what what was
the mirriat? What? No winer dog? Danny? It was big talk
about miracles save lives. Heal well, somehow he regulated his heart beat and
about eight holes later, the tenth hole at Steven's Park. Oh, I
guess a miracle happened, Danny, So I guess Hole in one. You
already told me that that did not happen. We would not be slow rolling
a hole in that's not that's the whole show would be called the Hole in
One show. He eagled on a par four or a part or five?
Did you eagle? Is that the mirror? I'm not telling this story.
I know the credentials can tell this is you eagle? Number ten is a
par five? Okay? Uh? Kevin Turner, like he does on every
tea box, hits his driver right down the middle. It's truly amazing.
He described it properly. He said, the further away from the hole,
I am, I'm an excellent golfer. And then as he gets closer to
the hole, it gets worse. And then on the green you never know
disaster, Maia. He's a wild card on the green. But Jesus,
you put him on a tea box, He's gonna hit it like two seventy
dead straight almost every hole. It's amazing. He's a scramble partner. Dream
your buddy. Matt was absolutely in awe of my excellence off the tee.
I mean he h multiple times. I don't know how you do it.
I don't know how. He was like if I had your fair Oh my
god, I was Dereka. He was the dad on step Brothers. It
was that whole thing. My god, that's impressive. It's every hole with
a driver right down the middle. Good and then it starts to get crack
anyway. Part five, tenth hole, right down the middle, right,
second shot, it's a layup part five right. You can't really go for
this. There's a crick. There's a crick hit into the creek. You
don't f with a crik throws it out there one hundred and thirty eight yards
away. The son of a bitch swished it. You're kidding on a second
shot, third shot, third shot. So he eagled on five. He
eagled the part five, which is amazing. But how many feet out one
and thirty eight and thirty eight yards? Wow? So nine iron pitching wedge?
Uh? Nine iron? It was a nine iron, Yes, nine
and the nine it was the layup club that I chose. Yes. He
we think swished it right. I think swished it lost in the sun because
it was right there. I knew the line though. I knew the line
was right all over it. Like I told Troy, I was like,
if that's not it, I tap it in. But we get up there
and Mike is ahead of the game. So Mike is walking up to the
green and I was like, okay, we don't see my ball, and
Troy goes Mike look at the hold of his balls in there. We don't
see it, and I'm like, dude, I know it's there. Now
behind the green is some shrubbery and I'm like, crap, I might have
nutted it too hard, and then we're in the shrubs and I might have
to go digging from my ball during snake season. Yeah, Mike takeover.
No, Because I walked to the hole and Troy was like, dude,
I think he made that check the hole, and I checked the hole and
absolutely there's a titleist two right in the bottom of the cup. But I
smell a rat. I look back at their cart and I no sold it.
I just gave him up and I just kept walking out. So I'm
like, okay, So I don't look because he looked in the cup.
So I'm like, okay, so it's confirmed not in the cup. So
I'm looking by me, a known liar. I'm leaning in, I stick
my hand into the shrubs, and I get struck by a baby rattlesnake.
You're a liar, He keeps saying that that didn't happen. I think you're
both. It's a good line of a line of humor. I think that
because you didn't tell me the ball was in there, you think you're punishing
me by saying you're attacked by a snake. I die. What probably happened
here? Kevinh Is Mikey saw the ball, it was near the cup,
and he just gave it the old trump toe tap, the old footwed and
knocked it in so and you didn't see, and then surprised you with an
eagle on eleven. I believe on ten. And I think he did that
to make you feel good going into today based on your questionable broadcasting this week.
I think that's incredible and a good one with soundbacking research and science behind
the guy who did Roberto de Leon, the guy who tell us the guy
who peaked this week with Mexican Bob Dylan by accident. Man is gonna sit
there and tell me, come on, that was not an option. It
absolutely straight into the hole. And uh, I wonder how Kevin celebrated.
But the okay, the funniest part is, okay, in golf, right,
look you hit one, I think it's a hole in one. Right,
You walk up to the green and you kind of casually walk by the
hole and like glance in it because you don't want to be the guy who
runs up to the hole and like looks down and then it's obviously not in
the hole. You hit it long or it's plugged or whatever, but you
want to look, you know, you want to check. But by me
telling him no, it's not in, he had to go look behind the
green and look all these other places. But I knew, and I kind
of winked at the guys. I'm like, just watch watch him because I
know he can't find it. He wants to now go look in the hole,
but he can't. But it's like, that's like he just respected to
me. You sure it's not in the hole. But in my thinking,
I mean, I know sold him, but I'm like, look, what's
there's This is a moment in a man's life, a golfing man's life.
I did it made egle and it's not just an eagle because a lot of
times you can nuke a drive on a short part five and then hit a
great approach and you chip it and then you make a punt. All right,
I'm in an eagle holding out from the fairway? Is is? I
mean, look, there's one hundred and thirty eight yards. That's the length
of a part three. It's actually one. Yeah. He made the equivalent
of holl of one yeah, and I couldn't see a thing. What happened
to Kevin? That sound different? He sounds great, it's sound a little
different. So anyway, he had to meander his sleepy ass up to the
hole. And check it himself. And by that point I had walked out
of the guys. I'm like, dude, it's it. Watch just how
did he react? No? When I heard from Mikey, how did he
react? What do he do? He's no, he saw it and he
goes f Yeah, get fist pump. You're like a little eagle bird today.
So we're going to rename our station back to the Eagle just for one
day. We thought just for one day, but then we decided to just
go ahead and do it. Go ahead and load up that mud vain return
cut. We're gonna play rock tunes instead of talk all morning. Let's do
it. Let's play some butt rock today. This is the Eagle. I'll
pull up a playlist on my computer from the iHeart app. No, it
was. It's a every if you play a lot of golf, it's every
couple years thing. Maybe I don't know how often you jam jar it from
one one. I've never done that in my life. Really, congratulations,
that's the longest shot you've ever made. Yeah, I've done something from like
eighty, you know, yeah, FID five eighty, but nothing like that
in flight with potentially. Troy and I both think we jammed it, but
it was there was no ball mark. Yeah yeah, we think he switched
it. But whatever. That's that's when you wish you had cameras well.
That's a whole other discussion, Danny, because we got all day, bro,
I got all day save that, okay, but all jokes aside,
that is badass, badass. It's something that you guys love doing and have
spent along a big great portion of your lives playing, practicing and hoping for
moments like that. It's a little victory and I hope you hope you.
I hope you took ownership of it. I hope you were proud of yourself,
and I hope, uh, I hope it kind of maybe elevated your
your day yesterday. Thank for what you do. You righte a three on
the card and then you circle it. Then you circle that circle. I
know that's dumb circles. You don't often see that. I don't think we
had one birdie on the card among all of us until he went with the
eagle. And that's the beauty of golf, is like the little dumb miracle
like that can happen and you're like, and then two l's later, Mike
overdrove the par four. Okay, let's get into that next. Get over
there next at six thirty. Anyway, Kevin did something good. Now the
most important thing in the world. What did I do on the golf Yes,
s buckle up, fam, Danny. Do we have Tomater and Malcolm's
reaction? We can. That's the most important thing. Plus why Tiger's got
a big backlog of sperm. We'll see that's next. Okay,