WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.480 The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are solely those of the hosts 2 00:00:03.480 --> 00:00:06.639 and their guests, and not those of W four w N Radio It's employees 3 00:00:06.679 --> 00:00:10.960 or affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services, 4 00:00:11.039 --> 00:00:14.839 or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability explicit or 5 00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:18.800 implies shall be extended to W four w N Radio It's employees or affiliates. 6 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:22.079 Any questions or comments should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for 7 00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:46.439 choosing W four w N Radio. Well, hello and welcome to Fearless Fabulous. 8 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:50.119 You. I am your host, Melanie Young, and I am so 9 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:55.280 happy you're joining me this beautiful September twenty twenty three. This is the first 10 00:00:55.359 --> 00:00:57.960 airing of this show. You can listen to it, of course on W 11 00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:02.759 four w N Radio, but on about thirty five podcasts anytime anywhere as you 12 00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:06.519 desire, So check it out on iHeart, Spotify, and follow me at 13 00:01:06.519 --> 00:01:12.239 Melanie Young dot com and Melanie Fabulous on Instagram. So if you follow me 14 00:01:12.280 --> 00:01:15.840 a lot, you'll know that I've been doing a lot of solo shows, 15 00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:19.239 and a lot of it's based on the fact that for the past year, 16 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:25.239 well more than a year, but in the past year I had been relocated 17 00:01:25.319 --> 00:01:29.400 back to my hometown of Chattanooga, Tennessee, where for a period of time 18 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:34.920 I was caring for my mother who had fallen and broken her femur and refused 19 00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:38.640 to get up like she refused to get up and do any kind of physical 20 00:01:38.680 --> 00:01:42.359 therapy and just decided that she wanted to will herself to die. So I 21 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:48.480 became the accidental caregiver, probably not the best caregiver, but I did my 22 00:01:48.599 --> 00:01:53.480 best in the capacity of what I can do. And then after she died, 23 00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:59.159 I inherited a house that does sound exciting, doesn't it, But it's 24 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:02.519 a house filled of things because she was a bit of a hoarder. And 25 00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:07.680 my husband David and I are working very hard and I'm documenting it quite a 26 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:14.759 bit on Melanie Fabulous, the process of decluttering and un doing somebody's life, 27 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:17.719 which leads me to the theme of today's show. Because I have to be 28 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:23.719 really blunt doing this and there is no one else who can help me because 29 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:25.560 I'm an only child. And I think saying an only child when you're sixty 30 00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:29.719 four is kind of funny, but that's really what it is, and speaking 31 00:02:29.719 --> 00:02:34.680 of child this whole experience is taking me down the rabbit hole of going back 32 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:42.080 to my childhood. Because my mother and father kept everything that I ever wrote 33 00:02:42.599 --> 00:02:50.759 did war they documented my whole life. I didn't realize how many times I 34 00:02:50.759 --> 00:02:54.479 appeared in the local newspaper. And when I got my vaccinations, I was 35 00:02:54.520 --> 00:02:59.759 in the local newspaper. When my dogs got their vaccinations, I was in 36 00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:02.000 the paper with my dog. When my dogs had puppies, I was in 37 00:03:02.039 --> 00:03:07.439 the newspaper with my dogs and they're puppies. When I went to the local 38 00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:09.680 museum, the Hunter Museum, with my grandmother, I ended up being not 39 00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:15.719 only in the newspaper, but then the museum's brochure, which I'm looking at 40 00:03:15.879 --> 00:03:20.080 right now, and there's me all dressed up in a pretty little dress with 41 00:03:20.159 --> 00:03:23.599 white gloves, and my grandmother and her pearls and gloves, staring at an 42 00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:30.039 exhibit. When I first appeared as Tricksie the Noneck Monster in catt on the 43 00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:34.120 hot ten Roof and the Chattanooga Theater Center production of Cat on the hot ten 44 00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:38.039 Roof at age five, I ended up in the paper and on the wall 45 00:03:38.120 --> 00:03:46.199 of the Theater Center when I when I drew my thought of what the pilgrims 46 00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:50.479 looked like coming over to Plymouth Rock. That ended up in the newspaper, 47 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:53.159 as did my turkey drawing, et cetera, et cetera. I think you 48 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:57.840 get the drift. They kept it all and I'm finding it all. And 49 00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:03.719 there's some recurring themes through all of this writing and photos and newspaper clips that 50 00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:11.680 I have learned about my childhood and life, and it's this all my life. 51 00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:17.800 I was groomed to be an overachiever with success as my ultimate goal. 52 00:04:19.480 --> 00:04:25.240 I was never given you baby dolls, never was encouraged to be a baby 53 00:04:25.240 --> 00:04:30.920 doll caregiver and take care of babies. I wanted the barbie. I was 54 00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:35.000 given the barbies because barbies could have success. I was given diaries and told 55 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:40.959 to write in diaries, and I did. From age five. I was 56 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:45.600 told to keep scrapbooks of everywhere I went, to document all my journeys and 57 00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:51.079 report back on them to my parents. I learned how to read at age 58 00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:57.680 three because my mother was a speech therapist and she had me sit in with 59 00:04:57.720 --> 00:05:01.839 the class with her students, most of whom con speech because they had they 60 00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:11.680 had speech deficits like me. Almost and I learned to read phonetically. When 61 00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:15.040 I was on Halloween, I didn't dress up as a witch. I dressed 62 00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:19.759 up as a nurse, or a famous dancer, or a newspaper reporter. 63 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:25.839 You get the draft. I was always on the road to be successful. 64 00:05:25.959 --> 00:05:30.399 I didn't know what it was to be anything but that. Now, where 65 00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:35.160 did that all come from? Well, digging deep into the chronicles of the 66 00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:43.240 basement, I have uncovered boxes and scrap books and more scrap books from my 67 00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:46.800 mother and my father. Apparently they were big scrap bookers and letter writers also, 68 00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:51.399 and they were very successful. So my mother was giving speeches as a 69 00:05:51.399 --> 00:05:56.639 teenager to local civic groups. She was raising money for the Daughters of a 70 00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:01.319 Confederacy. Yeah, that's right, a teenager. She was on the honor 71 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:04.720 board, the honor roll, had millions of dates to all the proms. 72 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:11.120 She documented all of this, as well as all of her children's plays, 73 00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:15.959 children's stories, and speeches that she was writing as a young teen. Actually 74 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:19.839 she was writing as a young little girl, because I even found letters she 75 00:06:19.879 --> 00:06:25.399 wrote is a grammar school student, So the apple didn't fall too far from 76 00:06:25.399 --> 00:06:28.240 the tree. She was doing it, and she encouraged me to do the 77 00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:30.480 same. On the flip side, my father was an avid letter writer too. 78 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:35.360 I found letters he wrote to his parents while he was stationed overseas in 79 00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:42.519 Asia as a soldier. I found honor rolls from him at the United States 80 00:06:42.519 --> 00:06:46.120 Military Academy, and letters and letters and letters. They both wrote books. 81 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:49.680 My father wrote four books on the Civil War. My mother wrote a children's 82 00:06:49.720 --> 00:06:56.079 book, two children's plays, and I have said she had three newspaper columns. 83 00:06:56.800 --> 00:07:00.560 They both wrote book reviews, and the growing up with a pen and 84 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:08.519 paper in my hand was just as natural as a fork and spoon. So 85 00:07:10.279 --> 00:07:12.800 when you're a little kid, you really don't know what you want to be 86 00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:16.360 when you grow up. In fact, when I was five, I just 87 00:07:16.439 --> 00:07:19.079 assumed I was going to fall in love and have a big wedding and live 88 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:26.639 happily ever after. And that's the pictures I drew until and I documented every 89 00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:30.399 boy I met in my diaries and analyze each one to see if it was 90 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:32.879 going to be a proper husband or not. Mind I was five, but 91 00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:38.800 my mom had a career. She got her master's degree in psychology while I 92 00:07:38.839 --> 00:07:43.120 was still that little girl writing in her diary dreaming of marriage and She worked 93 00:07:43.160 --> 00:07:46.000 as a speech therapist, as I mentioned earlier, and that's where I learned 94 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:51.000 to read. Sitting in the nursery with the children who were hard of hearing, 95 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:56.759 learning to speak phonetically. I learned to read phonetically. And she wrote 96 00:07:56.920 --> 00:08:00.480 articles for the local newspaper and actually had a column called the Pen the Purple 97 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:03.720 Lady, and they both wrote book reviews. So I started writing, and 98 00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:11.959 I started writing and pretending I was a newspaper writer. So to that effect, 99 00:08:13.560 --> 00:08:16.800 I looked at the handwriting. I found all these diaries, I found 100 00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:20.759 all these letters. I had written letters upon letters. They never threw any 101 00:08:20.759 --> 00:08:24.279 of them out because they so believed that I would become a famous writer. 102 00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:28.959 That also didn't throw my baby teeth. But that's a whole another story. 103 00:08:30.680 --> 00:08:35.480 So over time, when I was five, all of a sudden things changed, 104 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:41.440 and this is what happened. There was a show called I Love Lucy. 105 00:08:41.559 --> 00:08:46.320 Everybody remembers Lucille Ball. She was just the redheaded comedian. She had 106 00:08:46.360 --> 00:08:50.320 the Lucy and Desi show. And then Lucy and Dezzi broke up. And 107 00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:56.120 about the time I was six and in first grade, Lucy, Lucy, 108 00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:01.679 Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez had had their babies broken up, and she was 109 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:07.000 now a solo television star, and I became fixated on her because Lucy was 110 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:13.960 the independent career woman, and suddenly I wanted to model my life on Lucy. 111 00:09:13.080 --> 00:09:18.320 I watched every show. I watched how she managed herself in the office, 112 00:09:18.759 --> 00:09:22.919 and when she went to London to go to Carnebie Street and the swinging 113 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:24.679 sixties. I wanted to dress like her. In fact, I wanted to 114 00:09:24.759 --> 00:09:28.320 dress. I wanted a miniskirt. I was six and my mother was dressing 115 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:35.039 me in Winnie the Pooh and his mother daughter outfits. By the way, 116 00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:37.279 I have found so many photos of my mother and my mother and I wearing 117 00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:41.879 the same outfit, whether we're you know, Yankee doodle dandy, or we're 118 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:50.279 wearing matching shifts or kimonas or mumus. You can't even believe it. But 119 00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:54.720 suddenly I just said. I just sat there and I stomped my feet and 120 00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:56.799 I crossed my arms. I looked at my parents and I said, that's 121 00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:00.679 it. I wanted miniskirt and go go boots, and I'm going to be 122 00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:05.720 a writer and I'm going to write about fashion and luxury lifestyle. And travel, 123 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:11.480 and my parents looked to me and they nodded and nodded, and guess 124 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:16.399 what, I have this amazing photo of me going to school in first grade 125 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:22.799 wearing a multi color, all horizontal dress, a mini skirt, with my 126 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:26.200 white go go boots and my pink pointy glasses because I had started wearing glasses 127 00:10:26.200 --> 00:10:31.240 and I wanted pink pointy wines. And I had long hair and big bangs 128 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:35.440 and it hung down like Carneby Street. And I sauntered into my first grade 129 00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:37.879 and everybody just stopped what they are doing and stared at me, and I 130 00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:41.320 gave them a wink and I said, I am going to write about this. 131 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:48.039 That was six and it never ended from there. I never thought I 132 00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:52.720 never looked back and thought that anything else was going to change. You know. 133 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:56.360 I continued to write in grammar school, and then as a high school 134 00:10:56.360 --> 00:11:00.799 teenager, my focus was I'm going to leave this dumpy out of Chatooga, 135 00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:03.039 Tennessee, and I'm going to go to the big time and become a famous 136 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:11.080 magazine editor. And my role model was no longer my mom or Lucy. 137 00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:16.639 It was Helen Gurley Brown, the founder and publisher and managing editor. Because 138 00:11:16.639 --> 00:11:20.720 she had three titles, because why not of Cosmopolitan Magazine. I became fixcited 139 00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:24.759 on Cosmopolitan Magazine. I read it cover to cover. I tried to create 140 00:11:24.759 --> 00:11:28.440 cleavage out of breast that didn't exist, just like the models on the cover 141 00:11:28.519 --> 00:11:33.279 of Cosmotolito magazine. I had no idea what sex was, but I kind 142 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:37.799 of glossed over that to read about becoming an independent career women because this was 143 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:43.399 the early seventies and the women's liberation movement was well underway and it was time 144 00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:46.960 to have a good career. So for me, that was running a magazine, 145 00:11:48.919 --> 00:11:52.879 having a high level role somewhere in publishing. I have long launches with 146 00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:56.519 famous people and travel the world. In New York City. To that effect, 147 00:11:56.600 --> 00:12:03.440 I convinced my matching of my local hometown newspaper, the Chat Niga Free 148 00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:09.000 Press, to let me write articles. Now this is where it gets kind 149 00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:13.759 of funny. I ended up. I have uncovered here as I unpacked my 150 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:20.159 life and unpacked my parent's life and apparently unpacked my grandparents life and great grandparents' 151 00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:24.919 life. So four generations of letters and clips and photos I'm unpacking. I 152 00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:31.159 found all my articles that I wrote for the Chat Nigga News Free Press starting 153 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:35.919 at sixteen, when I was able to have a driver's license and able to 154 00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:41.360 go out interview people. And I'm astounded what I actually wrote because half the 155 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:43.559 time I didn't know anything about anything. I was busy, you know, 156 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:48.639 cheering on the local high school team the boys I was trying to date. 157 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:52.960 I was in school. But my first article, believe it or not, 158 00:12:54.759 --> 00:13:00.600 was based on a teen trip I went on to Israel because my parents, 159 00:13:00.679 --> 00:13:03.399 they were fairly developed Jews, and they really wanted me to find religion, 160 00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:07.679 which I hadn't found yet because I was too busy searching for the cute boys, 161 00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:11.399 because that really was boy crazy. So they sent me. They sent 162 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:16.440 me on this team toward Israel, and I was told to write letters back. 163 00:13:18.279 --> 00:13:20.200 I was given a quota of letters I had to write who to write 164 00:13:20.360 --> 00:13:24.480 to document this trip, because remember I'm supposed to be a writer and my 165 00:13:24.519 --> 00:13:28.919 parents were encouraging me. So I also found not only the diaries from this 166 00:13:30.039 --> 00:13:35.000 team trip, but also the letters which basically documented every boy I met in 167 00:13:35.159 --> 00:13:37.799 Israel and evaluated them back to my parents and how I ran away from the 168 00:13:37.879 --> 00:13:43.559 kibbutz. And one of the letters had a dollar sign for every s because 169 00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:48.679 I was running out of money. So it was a carefully written and composed 170 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:54.000 longhand written letter in my loop de loop writing with circles for eyes and hearts 171 00:13:54.000 --> 00:14:00.360 and flowers for dots, and it had a dollar sign for every s saying 172 00:14:00.360 --> 00:14:03.960 I needed money. And then the next letter was my evaluation of the trip, 173 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:07.240 because I was reviewing the trip for them, and I decided that nobody 174 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:11.320 really cared about seeing old stuff, that we really needed to focus on modern 175 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:15.480 and today. Now this is after I had gone to the Massada and the 176 00:14:15.519 --> 00:14:20.519 birthplace of the guests to me and where the last summer was held. I 177 00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:22.240 was tired of old relics. I want to see the new of the matter. 178 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:28.080 Somehow my parents and grandparents kept every letter and I read them and I 179 00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:31.840 was like, Wow, what a snotty kid. She really had an attitude 180 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:35.639 about her. But to her credit, this teenager had opinions and was fearless 181 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:41.519 about expressing them. Even at that time. I ended up writing my first 182 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:45.120 article for the chat Nico paper for the measly amount of money of twenty five 183 00:14:45.159 --> 00:14:48.840 dollars for about two thousand words, which should day they pay my current editor 184 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:54.000 at The Mountain Mirror newspaper pays me sixty five dollars for about a thousand words, 185 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:58.759 So from twenty five dollars in nineteen seventy six to sixty five dollars in 186 00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:01.200 twenty twenty three, it just he shows you the shoddy state of journalism, 187 00:15:03.480 --> 00:15:11.559 Bingo. My first article was documenting a hostage release. Now I am sixteen. 188 00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:16.519 I just wanted a boy crazy trip looking for the cutest guise in Israel 189 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:20.840 and documenting them instead of all the historic places I was going. I didn't 190 00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:28.080 find religion. I found boys, and I somehow ended up in Jerusalem when 191 00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:35.600 a major international crisis at unfurled in Uganda. Right Uganda, I had a 192 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:41.600 look up where Uganda was in Africa, but there were some Israeli hostages there 193 00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:46.320 and they had been released, and they were brought back to Jerusalem, and 194 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:50.360 for whatever reason, I ended up documenting what it was like to be an 195 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:56.120 American on the ground during a hostage release, and that was my first article. 196 00:15:56.919 --> 00:16:00.879 From there, I wrote about skateboarding, I wrote about I wrote about 197 00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:04.840 some continuing in the Jewish theme. I interviewed this woman who was head of 198 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:11.039 Hadassa, which is a big you know, philanthropic Jewish women's organization. I 199 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:17.799 wrote about to the trend towards skate pingting tennis, collecting unusual collectors. I 200 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:21.759 wrote about what it's like to travel abroad by yourself. I wrote about how 201 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:26.120 to get an intern in Washington DC. I wrote so many articles that as 202 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:29.840 I looked through them, I was like, Wow, why was it so 203 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:34.720 hard to get a job as a journalist When I graduated college, which brings 204 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:41.639 me to I graduated high school with my career set on becoming a journalist. 205 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:45.759 I had made twenty five dollars an article and written probably fifty articles. I 206 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:49.639 thought that was pretty good, and it certainly beat it hostessing at the Laff 207 00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:53.720 restaurant, which I also did to earn some money, and waitressing at Mister 208 00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:57.679 Stake, which I did for about a year and then my parents said no 209 00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:03.039 more of that. My father used to drive to the restaurant and follow me 210 00:17:03.080 --> 00:17:07.279 home at night, just to make sure I got home safely from mister Steak, 211 00:17:07.640 --> 00:17:11.640 and I only found that out after he died in two thousand and nine, 212 00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:14.359 that he would do that every night I worked, and I thought that 213 00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:19.599 was so sweet. I ended up attending Sophie newcham College in New Orleans, 214 00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:25.799 which is now Tulane University. I was a legacy early admission. My mom 215 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:29.000 went there, and my cousins went there. Everybody just assumed I would follow 216 00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:32.599 the family footsteps to Tulane, even though I said I wanted to go to 217 00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:36.680 Georgetown School of Foreign Service into Radcliffe because that was where A love story was 218 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:40.000 filmed, and I just thought i'd be cool like Ellie McGraw. But no 219 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:45.160 one really encouraged me to go north and offered me trips to go visit those 220 00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:48.359 schools. But they did take me to New Orleans on a feeding frenzy when 221 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:52.440 I was a teenager and said you're gonna love the city and you're gonna want 222 00:17:52.440 --> 00:17:55.200 to go to school there. And after they took me to all the finest 223 00:17:55.279 --> 00:17:57.640 restaurants and I had my first raw oyster, my first fresh crab, my 224 00:17:57.720 --> 00:18:02.680 first fresh shrip, and any kind of seafood because all I've ever had in 225 00:18:02.759 --> 00:18:06.640 Chantago was fish sticks. I was hooked and convinced I was going to move 226 00:18:06.680 --> 00:18:11.720 to New Orleans and take the town by storm and the college of Tulane University. 227 00:18:11.319 --> 00:18:15.279 And what did I do. I signed up to write for the local 228 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:22.839 Hulliblulu newspaper and become a journalist. I didn't major in journalism or communications, 229 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:26.400 instead of major to international relations, with the strategy that by majoring in international 230 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:30.960 relations, I would become more desirable as a foreign correspondent, which is what 231 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:33.440 I decided I wanted to do. I want to either be ambassador, cultural 232 00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:38.279 astiche or foreign correspondent, so my majoring in international relations that would prepare me 233 00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:41.000 to do that, which it actually didn't because all I seemed to do is 234 00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:48.799 study philosophers and economics, and I couldn't understand economics unless it involves shoes and 235 00:18:48.839 --> 00:18:53.519 philosophers. I kind of got, but I didn't see how again, these 236 00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.920 ancient people were going to apply to modern times. So I wrote for the 237 00:18:57.000 --> 00:19:03.319 local newspaper. I also got a job selling cosmetics and became a master salesperson 238 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:11.880 and won all sorts of awards for learning to sell cosmetics and did okay. 239 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:15.160 I even went to work in Washington, DC, convinced that that's where I 240 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:21.359 needed to be because I wanted to be there because all the president's men had 241 00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:26.519 just come out, and I wanted to be a famous journalist like the book's 242 00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:33.960 authors. And I became an intern on Capitol Hill from my local districts Congresswoman 243 00:19:33.079 --> 00:19:38.240 Marilyn Lloyd, and I spent the days in her office opening mail, and 244 00:19:38.519 --> 00:19:44.640 my relating assignment was responding to letters written to Congresswoman Lloyd. Of course, 245 00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:48.359 somebody had to supervise everything I wrote, but that was my job as a 246 00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:55.279 writer, writing letters back to her constituents and opening the mail. So I 247 00:19:55.400 --> 00:20:00.559 was attending Georgetown University School of Foreign Service as a summer student. My parents 248 00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:03.359 let me do that because I pushed and said I really wanted to be in 249 00:20:03.400 --> 00:20:07.480 Washington, and they liked the idea of my going to Washington and working on 250 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:10.720 Capitol Hill, and they were supporters of Marilyn Lloyd, so it all just 251 00:20:10.759 --> 00:20:14.279 seemed right. So my thesis, I had to write a thesis, So 252 00:20:14.359 --> 00:20:17.319 I decided I was going to write about the fourth of the state because in 253 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:21.200 the government, there's the judicial branch, executive branch, the congressional branch, 254 00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:22.720 and then there's the media. The media is called the fourth of the state 255 00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:26.440 because they are the watchdog on those three other branches to make sure nothing goes 256 00:20:26.480 --> 00:20:30.759 awry. Been a little difficult in the recent years with that, particularly with 257 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:36.680 the march on the Capitol. It's getting harder for the fourth of State to, 258 00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:41.559 you know, keep those other branches in tune. But I wanted to 259 00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:45.440 be a journalist, so I would roam the halls of Congress. After opening 260 00:20:45.480 --> 00:20:48.200 all that mail and writing back some letters and submitting them for approval, I 261 00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:53.720 would then take the afternoon off and roam the halls of Congress tracking down journalists 262 00:20:53.759 --> 00:20:59.039 to interview. And I did a pretty good job of it, and did 263 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:03.640 a great thesis, and I was convinced that that was my future. So 264 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:07.000 upon graduation, I planted myself in Washington, DC. My father agreed to 265 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:11.559 pay my apartment for a year in Georgetown because I was convinced that's where all 266 00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:15.359 journalists needed to live, even though it's the most expensive part of town at 267 00:21:15.400 --> 00:21:21.119 the time. And I set to work with my carefully crafted resume and cover 268 00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:26.079 letter and all the clips, lists of clips from the Hullabaloo newspaper in New 269 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:30.559 Orleans Sophie Newkham, and all my clips in the Chenigo Free Press, convinced 270 00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:34.440 that I was going to take Washington, DC by storm and become the next 271 00:21:34.519 --> 00:21:38.480 hot journalists. Well, everybody else wanted to do the same thing, and 272 00:21:38.599 --> 00:21:41.960 I could not get in a foot in the door working in the media back 273 00:21:41.960 --> 00:21:45.920 then, and even now it's tough. The jobs are scarce to pay us 274 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:48.440 boultry. You have to know someone or know someone who knows someone to even 275 00:21:48.440 --> 00:21:52.440 get a foot in the door. I would go to the National Press League 276 00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:57.519 building and I would see stacks of resumes just lying on the ground like newspapers, 277 00:21:57.559 --> 00:22:03.000 but they were resumes. So I couldn't get a job. I tried, 278 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:04.279 you know, I ended up. You know, everyone wanted me to 279 00:22:04.359 --> 00:22:07.640 type. I couldn't type. I was very slow typer. For a brief 280 00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:11.119 time, a very brief time, I took a job at a law office 281 00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:15.559 as a secretary because I needed money. I was running out and my parents 282 00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:18.440 were threatening to They were telling me, you know, when the at least 283 00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:22.200 is over, you're coming home, and that meant going back to Dallas, 284 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:25.160 vil Chadnooga, and that was not going to happen. So I took a 285 00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:32.440 job as a law firm and I got fired because I rewrote everybody's briefs because 286 00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:34.279 I felt they were too wordy, and I didn't realize that the lawyers are 287 00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:37.359 paid by the words. So I would go to my boss and say, 288 00:22:37.400 --> 00:22:38.960 you know, I noticed that you just seemed to be very redundant and everything 289 00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:41.319 are writing. So if I took the liberty to edit it, I hope 290 00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:44.960 you don't mind. Well, of course they minded, so that they fired 291 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:47.599 me, but they gave me a big bouquet of flowers and said, you 292 00:22:47.640 --> 00:22:49.319 definitely want to be a journalist, because you've told everybody in the office, 293 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:52.640 and you clearly want to be because you've rewritten all of our stuff even without 294 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:59.839 our consent. So good luck. Well, long story short, I ended 295 00:22:59.880 --> 00:23:06.039 up nailing a job because of my writing for a public relations consultant, which 296 00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:10.599 I decided was the next glamorous step in my life because his name was well, 297 00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:14.839 he's dead, so I can say it ed Van Kloburg, and he 298 00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:22.000 was an interesting guy. He was a consultant and seemed to be a professional 299 00:23:22.119 --> 00:23:26.799 escort for many wealthy women in Washington whose husband seemed to have lots of money, 300 00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:30.759 and we're never around. So he would have these salons with them, 301 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:33.839 and I would sit there and he would plan fundraisers for them, and I 302 00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:37.640 would sit there and write down all the plans for the fundraiser and all the 303 00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:41.319 plans for the press release, and then he would tell me what to go 304 00:23:41.400 --> 00:23:42.839 do, and I did whatever I could because it was all very glamorous, 305 00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:48.640 and I was helping you with these very wealthy women and going to you know, 306 00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:52.680 they came from like Woolworth and famous names like that. And we did 307 00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:56.359 this giant fundraiser at the Organization of American States, and I did all the 308 00:23:56.400 --> 00:24:02.240 press outreach and helped him. I was his assistant. And guess what turned 309 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:07.759 out. We were doing the fundraiser at the Organization of America's States for Planned 310 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:14.240 parenthood. While planned parenthood is for family management, as they say politely, 311 00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:18.559 and the Organization of American Streets is a highly Catholic organization. It's an organization 312 00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:23.440 of mainly countries that are Catholic. So the night of our big fundraiser, 313 00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:29.319 there were huge protests outside and we had a little crisis on our hand, 314 00:24:29.359 --> 00:24:30.599 and I had to help with that. But at the end of the day 315 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:36.720 he realized that that's really wasn't that. You know, he was in trouble 316 00:24:36.759 --> 00:24:38.640 for organizing that event. He lost a lot of business and I lost my 317 00:24:38.759 --> 00:24:42.400 job. Years later, I read that this same man got in trouble for 318 00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:49.359 other things in politics and mismanagement and leaped off the turret of a castle in 319 00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:55.480 Italy into the sea, the Geranean Sea, the end of him. But 320 00:24:55.799 --> 00:25:00.759 I took all my vast experience at the age of twenty two. Now my 321 00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:07.599 my hullabaloo clips from Tulane University, my newspaper articles from Chanaga Free Press, 322 00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:11.240 and all my press releases and whatnot from Washington DC. I wrote a press 323 00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:15.400 release saying, a new girl in town has a new girl in town has 324 00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:21.079 arrived in Atlanta, joiner looking Atlanta, Georgia, looking for public relations work 325 00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:26.200 at Her name is Melana Young. And I parked myself in Atlanta because I 326 00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:29.839 had convinced my parents Atlanta was the next best thing to Chadnooga and there was 327 00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:33.000 promise an opportunity there. And I hit the streets. Thank goodness, I 328 00:25:33.039 --> 00:25:40.440 had learned salesmanship while selling cosmetics behind the counter in New Orleans. Because I 329 00:25:40.519 --> 00:25:48.119 just hit the pavement and had lots of interviews and was fearless. I even 330 00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:52.000 created copyright. I created writing. I had portfolios of every kind of writing. 331 00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:56.400 A management they practically read my diaries, ended up getting a job. 332 00:25:56.119 --> 00:26:00.240 I had a great public relations agents, one of the best and one of 333 00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:03.839 my greatest mentors. Ever worked there. It was called Conan Wolf. The 334 00:26:03.960 --> 00:26:08.759 late Bob Cone died in twenty twenty three, and he was really one of 335 00:26:08.759 --> 00:26:14.039 the greatest. He was an award winning photo journalist and showman like P. 336 00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:18.440 T. Barnum and his sidekick, Norman Wolf was the studious, sedate, 337 00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:23.440 serious newspaper man. So together we had P. T. Barnum and the 338 00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:27.960 serious side, and they both taught me a lot about journalism. Looking for 339 00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:33.880 visuals coming up with the stick. He would say, walk carefully and carry 340 00:26:33.920 --> 00:26:37.480 a big stick in pr which meant whenever we came up with a crazy idea, 341 00:26:37.559 --> 00:26:41.319 that was the stick. We ended up working for Coca Cola we did. 342 00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:47.240 I did the tab Fitness Invasion in Arizona. I'd never been to Arizona 343 00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:49.200 or west of the Mississippi River. And on the second day, when I 344 00:26:49.240 --> 00:26:55.200 marched into Conan Wolf in my blue career suit, my boss, Jim Overstreet 345 00:26:55.240 --> 00:26:56.640 said, have you ever been to Arizona? And I said no, I've 346 00:26:56.680 --> 00:27:00.880 never been west of the Mississippi, but I've been to Israel. He said, 347 00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:03.680 well, you're going to Arizona for three months and you're going to produce 348 00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:07.559 the tab Fitness Invasion. Wow. So my Mom was very helpful. She 349 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:10.359 kind of coached me on how to plan an event because I'd never planned an 350 00:27:10.359 --> 00:27:15.960 event of that size, much less a fitness event. But somehow, somehow, 351 00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:19.000 because I was fearless, I managed to do it with great success. 352 00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:23.039 And I went on to have a very successful career at Conan Wolf and won 353 00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:30.279 some awards for my work on a local radio station, and then decided I 354 00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:34.119 was going to finally pursue my dream of living in New York. My roommate, 355 00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:37.039 whose name was Melanie, had already moved to New York and gotten a 356 00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:41.799 job an advertising agency for Coca Cola. She'd work at Coca Cola in Atlanta. 357 00:27:41.880 --> 00:27:45.640 Coca Cola was our clan and our pr agency, So I thought, 358 00:27:45.640 --> 00:27:48.440 there's got a way to get connections to move to New York. So I 359 00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:53.119 started interviewing in New York. I took the prize money that my radio station 360 00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:57.599 had won for winning Broadcaster of the Year. They gave me the prize money 361 00:27:57.599 --> 00:28:00.079 and said, don't tell your boss, but we know you want to move 362 00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:04.519 to New York and we're going to support it. And I flew to New 363 00:28:04.599 --> 00:28:11.720 York and interview for jobs. Interestingly, the company that bought my agency and 364 00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:17.440 started Conenwolf. New York interviewed me and they've all turned me down. They 365 00:28:17.440 --> 00:28:19.200 all not only did they turned me down, but they said I wasn't even 366 00:28:19.240 --> 00:28:22.400 New York material. I still have that letter. They said they don't think 367 00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:26.519 I'm going to cut it new York, that I was too flaky and I 368 00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:30.240 needed to stay in Atlanta. When I found out that I was rejected not 369 00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:34.119 only by my New York branch but the parent company, I cried and then 370 00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:37.480 I got pissed, and I said, I'm going to New York and I'm 371 00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:42.039 going to be more successfull thanly ever dreamed of. And long story short, 372 00:28:42.079 --> 00:28:48.200 I ended up getting a job at a wonderful agency. Another great mentor for 373 00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:52.599 me, David Finn. The company was Ruter, Finn and Rotten Ruter Finn 374 00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:57.079 and Rottman and became Ruter Finn and David Finn was one of the greats and 375 00:28:57.200 --> 00:29:07.319 taught me about creating programs that supported social impact and the arts and research based 376 00:29:07.400 --> 00:29:15.880 public relations. And I became very successful there and stay there for many years 377 00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:19.119 and won some awards for my work for I can't believe it's yogurt now. 378 00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:25.279 This is where I stop for one minute and mentioned something that I neglected to, 379 00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:29.559 and that is that in high school I was voted most likely to succeed 380 00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:40.400 and that title followed me through Chattanooga to New Orleans, Washington DC, Atlanta, 381 00:29:40.440 --> 00:29:44.160 back to Washington, DC, back to Atlanta, and then to New 382 00:29:44.240 --> 00:29:52.400 York. So failure was not an option ever because I had this title most 383 00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:57.000 likely to succeed, which brings me to the day I decided to start my 384 00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:02.640 own company. I was working for an agency. Okay, I was working 385 00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:07.119 for the agency that had bought Conan Wolf. It's it's called Burson Marstellar. 386 00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:11.279 They were the agency that had turned me down several years, like three years 387 00:30:11.319 --> 00:30:17.519 earlier. Three years earlier, had turned me down because they said I wasn't 388 00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:22.039 New York material. They hired me, they didn't recognize me. I had 389 00:30:22.039 --> 00:30:25.160 started wearing block, I'd changed my looks. I didn't really changed my looks, 390 00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:29.559 but I started being New Yorkie. They hired me. I knew who 391 00:30:29.559 --> 00:30:32.920 they were, but they didn't know who I was. And I ended up 392 00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:37.720 working for the woman that had interviewed me when I was turned down. I 393 00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:44.160 had the most boring job at Burson Marstellar. I wrote proposals for Jello like 394 00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:48.960 Jello and DuPont flooring System, and I sat in my cubicle miserable because I 395 00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:52.200 knew I was destined for more. And that day came when a very good 396 00:30:52.200 --> 00:30:56.720 friend of mine, the late John Rally, who was a seafood consultant and 397 00:30:56.839 --> 00:31:00.559 marketing whiz, said Melanie, it's time for you to hang your own shingle, 398 00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:04.200 go out on your own. And the impetus to do that were three 399 00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:07.039 things. One, my grandmother dropped out of a massive heart attack, and 400 00:31:07.079 --> 00:31:10.920 I adored her. She was one of my favorite people on earth, and 401 00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:15.960 I realized life is short, do what you love. I flew down to 402 00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:19.079 be with my family for her funeral, decided I would stay a few extra 403 00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:22.960 days, and when I got back to New York, I was given a 404 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:26.880 written reprimand because I didn't follow protocol and ask permission to stay the extra days. 405 00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:30.240 And that was impetus one to go out on my own. After John 406 00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:37.880 rally sage words, impetus too was I had been freelancing on the side for 407 00:31:37.079 --> 00:31:45.359 a magazine called Cook's Magazine, and I got a call from the publisher saying, 408 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:48.400 we could use someone like you to help us polish off a program that 409 00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:52.480 we're doing called the Who's Who of Cooking in America. We need to grow 410 00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:53.599 it, and we think you're pretty good. And by the way, you 411 00:31:53.599 --> 00:31:57.200 can write all the bios of the Who's Who. So I jumped at that 412 00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:05.559 opportunity. And coincidentally, the third reason was I was fired. Yeah, 413 00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.960 my company fired me. They thought I had a bad attitude. The Dupump 414 00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:13.559 flooring people didn't think I was excited about flooring. I wasn't. The Jellow 415 00:32:13.599 --> 00:32:16.720 people didn't think I was interested in Jello, I wasn't. And I just 416 00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:21.720 hated the whole corporate experience. So those are the reasons I went on my 417 00:32:21.759 --> 00:32:23.960 own. I told my grandfather I was going out on my own, and 418 00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:30.200 he quietly sent me money to buy a computer a fax machine, and I 419 00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:34.039 set up in my own apartment in New York City and that was the start 420 00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:37.720 of a company that started as M Young and Associates. I printed out business 421 00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:39.480 cards. I had new associates, but my dad thought it looked better if 422 00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:44.759 I had associates, so I prunted up Associates and it morphed into M Young 423 00:32:44.839 --> 00:32:51.960 Communications. That company lasted twenty years, and during that time I started the 424 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:57.039 James Beard Foundation Awards and grew it to the prominence it is now. I 425 00:32:57.240 --> 00:33:00.880 started New York Restaurant Week and grew it to the prominent it is now. 426 00:33:00.200 --> 00:33:06.720 I started many wonderful programs, grew my company into a seven figure success story, 427 00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:10.680 had twenty people loved what I did, and was on top of the 428 00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:15.720 world, and frankly, had achieved my dream of being successful in New York. 429 00:33:16.039 --> 00:33:22.079 The only thing I hadn't achieved to the According to my mother's I was 430 00:33:22.119 --> 00:33:25.960 still single in New York, and she made no She made it very plain 431 00:33:27.039 --> 00:33:29.480 that she was unhappy that I was single in New York, and she would 432 00:33:29.559 --> 00:33:31.119 tell everybody I was still singing in New York and do whatever she could to 433 00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:36.920 try to get me a husband. I would come home for holidays, there'd 434 00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:38.599 be a strange man at the table. I mean instantly hated him, but 435 00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:45.240 somebody else would pick him up. So long story short, I did meet 436 00:33:45.319 --> 00:33:49.920 somebody on my own, a friend that I known for a long time, 437 00:33:50.240 --> 00:33:54.720 and the friendship grew and things were I was on top of the world. 438 00:33:54.759 --> 00:34:00.440 I had achieved what I defined as success. I was running a business, 439 00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:04.759 I was living in New York. I was in the thick things. People 440 00:34:04.839 --> 00:34:07.880 knew and respected me. I was making lots of money. I found a 441 00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:13.880 great man. What could go wrong? Well, in life, things can 442 00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:20.320 go wrong, and this is important that sometimes you make things happen, and 443 00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:27.039 sometimes things happen to you. In my case, things happened to me. 444 00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:29.960 I lost a lot of business for a variety of reasons. It really had 445 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:31.519 nothing to do with me, but had to do with the clients. And 446 00:34:31.559 --> 00:34:35.920 I lost about seventy five percent of my business the same year that I was 447 00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:37.559 getting married. So I was in the quandary of paying for a wedding and 448 00:34:37.639 --> 00:34:44.400 losing seventy five percent of my business. I pursued the wedding and kept things 449 00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:47.679 on course, pursued the business and looked for a new business, and managed 450 00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:53.599 to have a wedding and salvage my business by downscaling and retooling and making it 451 00:34:53.679 --> 00:34:58.199 smaller, more focused. Took a big hit for about two years, and 452 00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:01.400 then came back worked really hard to do that. I was back on top, 453 00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:07.320 in a different state of mind, in a different office, but still 454 00:35:07.320 --> 00:35:13.079 successful. And I was back on top of the world for a while, 455 00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:17.440 but there were problems. I wasn't feeling so great. I was turning fifty, 456 00:35:17.960 --> 00:35:22.360 I was getting tired. The business was starting to wear me down, 457 00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:27.559 and I longed to do something else, and I started thinking about wanting to 458 00:35:27.599 --> 00:35:30.159 write and speak and having a voice. I didn't feel like I had a 459 00:35:30.280 --> 00:35:39.119 voice show. I was starting to do more writing and speaking, and then 460 00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:44.360 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and that just kind of put everything to a 461 00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:46.840 crushing halt. I kept going, kept running my business because I didn't want 462 00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:53.199 to lose anything, kept writing. But during that same time, my father 463 00:35:53.320 --> 00:35:59.000 died of cancer, and that's when life happens to you, and then you'd 464 00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:04.000 go, is this really what I want anymore? Or is there something beyond 465 00:36:04.079 --> 00:36:07.039 this? Because by then I was running myself ragged, trying to run a 466 00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:10.480 business, going to treatment, mourning my father, which I never allowed enough 467 00:36:10.519 --> 00:36:16.559 time for. And that's another show topic, giving time to grieve. And 468 00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:21.440 I was tired. I had a new marriage. I wanted to focus on 469 00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:27.599 different things. I was turning fifty. I had turned fifty. I was 470 00:36:27.639 --> 00:36:30.559 fifty when I was diagnosed, and I didn't see what I didn't have a 471 00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:35.039 clear vision of what the future was going to be. So I ended up 472 00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:37.320 closing my company because at that point, I couldn't sell it because I was 473 00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:42.199 fifty and I didn't want to have a golden five year handcuff working for somebody 474 00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:45.440 else doing work I actually no longer liked. I never liked the work. 475 00:36:45.480 --> 00:36:47.599 I didn't want to work for anybody else. If I couldn't have my own 476 00:36:47.639 --> 00:36:53.880 company, I didn't want to do anything. So I started writing. I 477 00:36:54.039 --> 00:36:59.079 knew writing would always ground me. A grounded me at five, ground and 478 00:36:59.159 --> 00:37:01.960 me at fifteen, rounded me at twenty five, and at fifty it grounded 479 00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:06.519 me again at fifty one and fifty two and so on. In writing my 480 00:37:06.599 --> 00:37:10.199 book, Getting Things Off my Chest, Survivor's gone to staying fearless and fabulous 481 00:37:10.199 --> 00:37:13.480 in the face of breast cancer because I just saw that I was going to 482 00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:19.400 take a very traumatic experience in my life and turn it into a positive learning 483 00:37:19.480 --> 00:37:22.760 lesson to help others. At that book won some awards. It's in its 484 00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:25.960 third printing. I have friends, sadly who have been diagnosed with breast cancer 485 00:37:27.039 --> 00:37:30.960 this year. They have thanked me for the book and my advice, and 486 00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:35.119 that happened to me. So when you can make life happen, and sometimes 487 00:37:35.159 --> 00:37:39.679 life happens to you. My definition of success also changed. Wasn't about being 488 00:37:39.719 --> 00:37:43.559 in New York and making lots of money and being in the top of pr 489 00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:49.519 agency or media company. I suddenly redefine what success was and I just wanted 490 00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:59.800 to be happy and healthy and less stressed. So I kept going the trail. 491 00:38:00.679 --> 00:38:05.599 Established this podcast with the goal of promoting my second book, Fearless Fabulous 492 00:38:05.639 --> 00:38:09.039 You Lessons on Living Life on Your Terms. Taking all the essays and blog 493 00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:15.119 posts that I had been writing about reassessing life, recovering from cancer, rebooting 494 00:38:15.159 --> 00:38:19.840 and reframing life in a new perspective, wrote my second book on the Tales 495 00:38:19.880 --> 00:38:22.320 of the Publication my first book, and I have been doing this podcast now 496 00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:27.719 for this is my tenth season. It started out talking about recovery and wellness 497 00:38:27.719 --> 00:38:30.480 after breast cancer, but then my purpose change because I didn't want to be 498 00:38:30.519 --> 00:38:36.119 known as the breast cancer lady. I wanted to be known for more than 499 00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:39.000 that. It is one cog in my wheel of life, along with working 500 00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:45.559 in public relations, along with wine and food, along with being from Tennessee 501 00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:49.320 and being a writer, etc. So I decided I was going to use 502 00:38:49.360 --> 00:38:54.039 the show to inspire and empower women and spotlight women doing the same here I 503 00:38:54.079 --> 00:39:00.440 am today. So what does this mean. It means I am now past 504 00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:06.800 well past fifty and the breast cancer years and the recovery years, and now 505 00:39:06.840 --> 00:39:13.159 I'm in the sixties. I'm in the swinging sixties, facing medicare, the 506 00:39:13.239 --> 00:39:17.239 loss of all my family. My parents are now gone. I was an 507 00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:22.519 accidental caregiver. I learned that I wasn't. I was successful as a caregiver 508 00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:28.000 as the best I could be. And I have reassessed success all over again 509 00:39:29.079 --> 00:39:34.519 because your definition of success will change over time based on where you are in 510 00:39:34.559 --> 00:39:38.599 life, who you're with, and what has happened in your life. It's 511 00:39:38.679 --> 00:39:43.679 not going to be defined on what's expected of you. I was always expected 512 00:39:43.719 --> 00:39:47.480 to be a success, and that was having a successful career. But that's 513 00:39:47.559 --> 00:39:52.360 one aspect of your life. You can have a successful career, but you 514 00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:57.679 may be miserable in your personal life. You may be unfulfilled in your personal 515 00:39:57.719 --> 00:40:00.000 life, and you may be so consumed by your your career and earning money 516 00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:06.880 that you forget how to enjoy your life. So now my definition of success 517 00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:09.800 and I talked about it to my husband over a holiday weekend. I said, 518 00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:15.400 you know, I lay in a lounge cheer, shut my eyes and 519 00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:19.360 envision what it's like to not have to work, not have to earn a 520 00:40:19.400 --> 00:40:23.039 living, not have to do anything but just one thing, enjoy life. 521 00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:28.800 And I was like, Wow, that's my next goal. Just enjoy life 522 00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:31.960 and do what you want. I never have to worry about health, you 523 00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:37.920 know, not worry about health, but money or stature, or I have 524 00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:40.760 to be right the right people, or how many social media followers I have, 525 00:40:42.599 --> 00:40:49.480 but becomes irrelevant because it all is fleeting. You make money, you'll 526 00:40:49.480 --> 00:40:52.280 lose money. You make money, you'll lose money. You have social media 527 00:40:52.280 --> 00:40:53.719 followers, you don't have them. You have friends, you don't have friends. 528 00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:57.920 Things go by the wayside. But what you do have and you can 529 00:40:58.119 --> 00:41:01.840 keep is your soul. You can take care of your health, and you 530 00:41:01.880 --> 00:41:06.239 can hone your talents and new ways. So I laughed at somebody recently and 531 00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:08.719 they said, what are you doing now? And I said, I seem 532 00:41:08.760 --> 00:41:14.920 to be in the business of buying and selling because I'm in the decluttering. 533 00:41:15.159 --> 00:41:19.760 I'm now in the business of selling stuff and learning how to evaluate and sell 534 00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:22.119 things in trade. And I never thought I'd be in that position, but 535 00:41:22.159 --> 00:41:25.000 I fell into it because my mother died and left me a house full of 536 00:41:25.039 --> 00:41:27.920 stuff, and I have to figure out how to get rid of it. 537 00:41:27.960 --> 00:41:32.039 And I believe that there is a buyer for everything. I believe that I 538 00:41:32.079 --> 00:41:36.280 can sell to that buyer if I know how to do it enthusiastically and with 539 00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:39.280 confidence to understand what that buyer wants. So now I'm in a completely new 540 00:41:39.320 --> 00:41:43.119 line of business that I never thought it would be. And besides the paltry 541 00:41:43.199 --> 00:41:45.920 end of things called journalism, I'm still right for that lousy sixty five to 542 00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:49.760 two hundred to three hundred dollars an article, and I do this podcast, 543 00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:52.920 which is still a labor of wealth. But I'm still looking for sponsors, 544 00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:57.760 so consider me please. But now I seem to have added another career at 545 00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:01.480 the right page of sixty four, where I am selling stuff and I'm learning 546 00:42:01.480 --> 00:42:09.920 how to evaluate vintage jewelry and paintings and collectibles that I may not think are 547 00:42:09.920 --> 00:42:13.960 worth anything, but then I find they are to somebody else, whether it's 548 00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:16.320 a snowglobe or a nutcracker, or a purple dish, or a type of 549 00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:22.159 china or a Christmas ornament. I had no idea, But I'm learning new 550 00:42:22.199 --> 00:42:24.440 skills doing it, and I promise you this time next year, I'm going 551 00:42:24.480 --> 00:42:28.440 to be in a really great place with something else happening, and bring writing 552 00:42:28.440 --> 00:42:34.719 about this. It will become a book. And so think about your life 553 00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:37.960 and where you are now, and never believe that you're a failure. No 554 00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:43.079 one fails. Maybe they go down the wrong path, or maybe just things 555 00:42:43.119 --> 00:42:46.360 just fall by the wayside or life thins out and phrase in that area like 556 00:42:46.400 --> 00:42:50.760 an old worn sofa and you have to patch it up or get a new 557 00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:54.400 sofa. But you don't say it's no good. It was good for a 558 00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:58.719 time, and maybe it's no longer right for the time that it is right 559 00:42:58.760 --> 00:43:02.000 now. Maybe it's time for something new and different. Embrace it, accept 560 00:43:02.079 --> 00:43:06.360 it, fail forward. If you feel like you're failing, fell forward, 561 00:43:06.440 --> 00:43:12.639 take the experience and apply it in new ways to something else, or use 562 00:43:12.679 --> 00:43:15.960 it to help lift somebody else up who's going through the same struggle. I 563 00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:21.079 always find that's helpful. But never say I'm not successful. You are successful 564 00:43:21.159 --> 00:43:24.800 as long as you're doing and living the life you choose. You're helping others. 565 00:43:25.159 --> 00:43:30.280 People enjoy being with you, you enjoy being with yourself, and you 566 00:43:30.320 --> 00:43:34.480 wake up every day with your foot on the ground saying I'm ready, let's 567 00:43:34.519 --> 00:43:39.800 take it on. That to me is success. It's not the material things, 568 00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:43.320 and trust me, I'm surrounded by them right now and I can't wait 569 00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:46.440 to get rid of most of them. It's not about material things and material 570 00:43:46.519 --> 00:43:54.239 wealth. It's about spiritual wealth and physical health and mental health and taking care 571 00:43:54.280 --> 00:43:59.079 of it because those are your treasures and the people you love and the people 572 00:43:59.079 --> 00:44:01.159 who care about and the people who care about you. And they may be 573 00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:06.039 people that you don't realize really cared about you, but they suddenly resurface in 574 00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:07.679 your time and need and say I'm here for you, and you're like, 575 00:44:07.719 --> 00:44:10.239 my, I didn't talk to you in years, but now you're here for 576 00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:16.920 me. Wow. So always look at everybody with face value and remember your 577 00:44:17.039 --> 00:44:22.639 self value, because they are both worth more than you can ever imagine. 578 00:44:24.119 --> 00:44:28.840 That brings me to the conclusion of this show, which I started to define 579 00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:34.719 as I wrote down notes for it, called most likely to succeed. Yes 580 00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:37.599 I was most likely to succeed, and yes I have succeeded, and yes 581 00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:42.880 I continue to succeed and thrive. There have been setbacks, there have been 582 00:44:42.920 --> 00:44:45.920 stuff, stumbling stones. There always are at sixty four years. I haven't 583 00:44:45.960 --> 00:44:51.599 lived life with a few bumps and bruises in what kind of life did I 584 00:44:51.719 --> 00:44:57.000 live? But as my dying mother said at eighty eight on her eighty eighth 585 00:44:57.039 --> 00:45:00.440 birthday, I have lived an amazing life and I achieved much. And I'm 586 00:45:00.480 --> 00:45:06.000 so proud of what I've done for the city and the community and for myself 587 00:45:06.039 --> 00:45:08.360 and the people I care about. I am ready to leave this life now. 588 00:45:08.760 --> 00:45:13.199 And she did on her terms. Whether we liked it or not, 589 00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:16.000 I was actually happy she did because she did it on her terms. So 590 00:45:16.599 --> 00:45:22.400 I hope that you can look at your life and say, I'm glad that 591 00:45:22.440 --> 00:45:27.239 I've done what I've done, and I'm going to put regrets in a box 592 00:45:27.480 --> 00:45:34.599 and toss him in the garbage. But your regrets in a box and toss 593 00:45:34.639 --> 00:45:39.400 him in the garbage, and fill that space with something that you love doing, 594 00:45:40.159 --> 00:45:45.199 you want to do, you want to learn to do, and keep 595 00:45:45.239 --> 00:45:50.159 on going. I'm Melanie Young. You have the right to live life on 596 00:45:50.199 --> 00:45:54.719 your terms, take it at face value, never forget yourself value and self 597 00:45:54.719 --> 00:46:00.880 worth, and share your gift with others. Thank you for joining me on 598 00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:20.599 this edition. A fearless, fabulous You